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Win Your Oscar Party Potluck With These Academy Award Winning Food Puns

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | February 28, 2014 | Comments ()


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With the Oscars being mere days away, it’s time to start your preparations. Now, I’ve never won an Oscar ballot contest in my life. And frankly I couldn’t care less. No, I choose to focus my attentions elsewhere. Specifically, on puns.

So continuing with a Pajiba tradition, here they are, your official Oscar picks, based not at all on actual merit or likelihood of winning, but entirely on their food- based punibility. Which, I think we can all agree, is the more important criterion.

I’ve clearly only scratched the first layer of the dip here. Add your picks below, my fellow pun McConaugh-sseurs.

Best Picture
Winner: Dallas Pie-ers Club
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Honorable Mentions: Gravitinis, Philly-mena Cheesesteaks (made with aged cheese, in honor of the great Dame)

Best Supporting Actor
Winner: Bradley Coop-cakes
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Honorable Mentions: Peppermint Barkhad Abdilicious

Best Supporting Actress
Winner: Cake Blanchett (That’s French for small white cake, obviously)
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Honorable Mentions: Meryl Peeps

Best Actress
Winner: June Squab
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Honorable Mentions: Lu-pino Noirong’o

Best Actor
Winner: Charleston Chewetel Ejiofors
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Honorable Mentions: Christian Pale Ale

Best Director
Winner: David O Russet potatoes (served O.Gratin, if you want to go all out)
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Honorable Mentions: Steve McQuinoa salad

And don’t forget your Melon DeGeneres. Every good host serves a fruit plate.
Fruit-Platter.jpg

Vivian Kane will most definitely be spending Sunday making up an Oscars drinking game. Come play along here.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • We'll begin with a Julia-nne salad. The main course is Brad Pitt Beef garnished with Philomenatural Her-bs and spices, served with a side of Garbonzo Cuaron beans. To drink: Juice Dern and Nebraskappichino. Trust me, it's Judilicuous Dench.

  • vivkane

    I spent HOURS trying to think of a Cuaron pun! Well done, sir.

  • Ryan Ambrose

    Tonight Hannibal returns on NBC, let's hope he doesn't get the cold shoulder from viewers.

    ...

    /hears crickets chirping in the distance
    /hears the booing roar of the crowd
    [torches and pitchforks incoming]

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Are you trying to turn these into the afatamy awards?

    [ugh. I'm definitely showing myself out. And I think I've been watching too much @midnight]

  • Modernlove

    There is no such thing as too much @midnight!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I'm enjoying it ever so much. Especially when they have a group of people on who really know each other, like the crew from Community. And I don't even watch that show.

  • My friend Roxanne overheard a woman at a salon telling her stylist that she was hosting a "12-Years a Slave...to Chocolate!" Oscar party and that woman is perfection and we should all just give up because comedy was never meant to be that compelling and now that it is I don't know if it's even worth striving for any more.

  • Berry

    When you start your post with the words "my friend Roxanne", one really expect them to be followed by how much money she has made recently on her computer, or how many amazing men she has met on a dating site of your choice. But you went to a whole new direction. I like it.

  • JoannaRobinson

    Do you know where I lost it, Vivers? It was the Timmy Riggins squab photo. Yes it was.

  • Clear ribeyes, full stomachs, can't lose.

    /loses

    also, love that you retain mod emeritus status

  • emilya

    texas forever!

  • vivkane

    Served rare.

  • Quatermain

    '12 Ears A Slave' - Oven roasted corn on the cob. If you feel guilty making jokes about slavery, look for organic fair trade corn and they'll cancel each other out.

  • vivkane

    Oh, that's so good. I was going to go with 12 Beers a Slave (it's just 2 six packs), but did feel guilty.

  • Quatermain

    For extra historically laced irony, make those two six packs Sam Adams.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Chugs all round.

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