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Liveblogging the '90s: 'I Know What You Did Last Summer'

By Courtney Enlow | Liveblogging the 90s | July 11, 2014 | Comments ()


ikwydlas.bmp

At the insistence of many and by the magical luck of Xfinity OnDemand for the low low price of $3.99, this week’s movie is I Know What You Did Last Summer, a movie I haven’t seen since a junior high sleepover and remember absolutely nothing about except Jennifer Love Hewitt’s flawless and amazing style of acting, which I cannot explain in written word so I made you this:

0:00 - This movie opens with the most hardcore cover of “Summer Breeze” ever. I think it’s ironic. Or something. I don’t know. ’90s.

0:01 - Johnny Galecki is in this movie apparently. And Anne Heche. And Veronica Vaughn from Billy Madison. I literally recall none of these people having anything to do with this movie. It’s possible I recall literally nothing about this movie. Literally. SUMMAH BREEEEZE.

0:02 - Does this take place in Seattle? Because all the other ones do. This might as well. There’s a cliff and an ocean and MYSTERY MUSIC. That sounds a lot like Seattle to me.

0:03 - There’s also a sad overalls boy sitting on the cliff with an ugly keychain pendant thing. He looks like a bloated puffy London twin. Which is to say a London twin.

0:03 - He’s considering killing himself but there are fireworks. Who could kill themselves with such merriment and festivities?

0:04 - JLoveHew: “UH, GUYS? HELLO? I’m on sexist overload!” My impersh was TOP FUCKING NOTCH.

0:05 - SMG is a beauty queen. Her hair is long. She wins the pageant despite the fact the other girls have way better “tits out” beauty queen posture. Ryan Phillippe is her boyfriend and is happy because it’s 1997 and he is still a person at this point.

0:07 - OK I’m remembering things. Johnny Galecki is the creepy stalker type who’s in love with JLH and Veronica Vaughn from Billy Madison is SMG’s sister. FPJ (Freddie Prinze, Jr.) breaks up a fight between Johnny Galecki and Ryan Phillippe that likely started because they were battling for two-named supremacy in this film.

0:09 - Our core four, like a lobotomized Scooby gang, is sitting around a fire drinking some manner of off-brand movie booze badly telling urban legend ghost stories. That movie’s not out yet so 1997 us was all ooooohh ahhhh interesting.

0:10 - SMG is a superior creature and is outacting everyone else in this movie. JLH and FPJ are kind of destroying me with their general not-goodness.

0:12 - “We can’t all sit in a coffee house and ramble esoterically on a laptop.” Guys, I miss Kevin Williamson. He was my human vocab lesson.

0:12 - FPJ and JLH decide to have tender virgin beach sex. “Wouldn’t you get sand all up in your vagina?” my husband asks correctly.

0:13 - Ryan Phillippe is being a douche dick of a Drunky Brewster and I have it on good authority that he’s playing Ryan Phillippe. He causes FPJ to run over someone. Ryan Phillippe is just upset about his car. Way more than he is upset about someone else’s blood on his face.

0:15 - They think they ran over a dog but there’s a boot and DOGS DON’T WEAR BOOTS, GUYS. They find the body and we get our first JLH scream of the movie. Those Vagazzle Lungs (TM) are phenomenal.

0:16 - They’re doing that movie thing where they think they can’t be honest about what they did. Everyone is pouting and Ryan Phillippe is screaming.

0:18 - This is now the second movie in a row where the answer to the problems of teenagers is “let’s dump the body.” Ryan Phillippe has to because he’s the asshole. FPJ has to because he’s poor. Poor Kid, Asshole, Beauty Queen and Sparkle Vag. These are our Heroes. They are Important. Johnny Galecki is Hateful about it.

0:20 - I bet teens who live near strong tides dump bodies all the time. I live near a manmade lake in the middle of Illinois. I won’t get to dump any bodies. BUT WHAT OF MY BUCKET LIST?

0:22 - The body comes back to life with magic rage and reaches up and steals SMG’s crown. They bash his head in and push him in the water. Ryan Philippe dives in to get the crown. Guy comes back to life again. This bloody guy in overalls is made of teflon and Charlie Sheens.

0:23 - I don’t want to type Ryan Phillippe anymore so I’m going to start calling them by their character names even though I don’t know them. Barry (Phillippe) has been screaming at and strangling Julie (JLH) for this entire scene and it seems to be kosher with everyone.

0:25 - Julie is at college now. Her roommate is the only black character we’ll see for the rest of the movie and she makes sure we know this by making four references to Julie’s whiteness in just 30 seconds of screentime. Also there’s some weird push-in reveal of Julie even though she’s the star of the movie and we just saw her. I don’t get it. This isn’t a good movie.

0:26 - Julie’s mom asks if Julie is on drugs. Julie is sad because of murder reasons. You can tell because her hair looks like shit and she’s wearing bad jeans, or that might just be because ’90s.

0:27 - 27 minutes in and we have a title! Julie gets a letter. “Who sent this? There’s no postmark or return address.” THEN WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE KNOW, JULIE? No wonder you’re doing shittily in school.

0:29 - BTdubs, this is North Carolina, not Seattle. I forgot that Kevin Williamson was all about the North Carolina.

0:29 - FYI, I owned this soundtrack. It was flawless. I still have “Hush” by Kula Shaker on my iTunes.

0:30 - Veronica Vaughn is a real asshole in this movie. Every line is hissed with hate and disdain.

0:30 - Helen (SMG) was supposed to go to New York and be famous and she now works in a department store which is pretty much what happens to most people. Helen is also wearing a thumb ring and an arm collar, which was a weird ’90s bracelet people wore on their upper arms and was stupid. Barry is a beater-wearing fucknut still. He’s violent and yells a lot. I think it’s supposed to be because of the accident and the idea is that it ruined all their lives, but since we’ve only seen Barry yelling like a fucknut this isn’t super clear. This isn’t a good movie.

0:33 - The soundtrack score is some Disney magic. It’s like the music that plays in the intro scene of Beauty and the Beast.

0:33 - Johnny Galecki is the movie’s first and foremost red herring. He hates everyone. Everyone in this movie hates everyone. Everyone is mean and angry and yells a lot. Barry attacks him with a hook in the fourth hook reference in the movie because foreshadowing reasons. “I’ll call the cop on your college quarterback ass!” Galeckz yells because class differences are very important when you’re scared after being threatened with a hook.

0:35 - Ray (FPJ) is also wearing a beater but it’s because he’s a working class fisherman now so I don’t know why Barry was wearing one since he’s rich except ’90s and beefcake and squishy ’90s teen girl parts reasons.

0:37 - Galecksicle is mad again. Go figure. There is a HOOK IN THE SHOT. I’m sure it’s nothing.

0:38 - Galecksicle is murdered with a hook. It was something. My bad, that’s on me.

0:38 - Barry is beating up a punching bag. He is wearing a beater. This movie was sponsored by the beater corporation. Also, I recognize that “wife beater” is literally the worst name for an article of clothing but that’s what it was called then in that ignorant/innocent/ignocent time when we didn’t know things were horrifically offensive. I’m speaking ’90s here. When in ’90s Rome.

0:40 - Barry has removed his beater and is now shirtless. Then his car gets stolen. He runs after it. Then it runs after him. He outruns it. This is silly. Then it hits him and crashes into…a thing. He’s fine. Hook murderer comes to hook murder him. Fade to black.

0:42 - He’s fine again. He’s just in the hospital and fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone is mad at everyone again.

0:44 - Everyone has lots of issues and needs lots of group counseling. Admittedly the whole hit and run body dumping thing is a hinderance.

0:45 - Julie shows Helen the internet. Helen is intrigued. Juile learns Guy they Hit used to be engaged (to girl who used to own the ugly keychain pendant thing from the beginning one would assume). Julie and Helen go to visit his mom and sister in their hill people home “in the sticks” that’s actually quite bucolic and nice. They are still Concerned. Julie tries to break in. To apologize I guess?

0:47 - SOMEONE IS THERE. SOMEONE OF FRIGHTFUL DISTRUST. It’s Anne Heche. AND SHE OWNS A RAIN SLICKER. Julie starts asking a bunch of not-at-all obvious questions to this clearly jittery and disturbed woman. “Do you have a brother? Do you live alone?” Jesus, Julie, you’re the worst murderer. “I think I remember David. He had a friend.” GOD HELEN, YOU’RE WORSE THAN JULIE.

0:49 - Frightfully Distrustful Mystery Sister provides Exposition regarding a friend of her brother’s named Billy Blue. Sure it is.

0:51 - “HEY!” Anne Heche screams terrifyingly and aggressively at the car before politely handing the girls a pack of cigarettes. Then she disappears into frightful distrust that could only have been more frightfully distrustful if she’d actually crouched and lowered herself out of the frame.

0:52 - Helen and Julie have a tender BFF talk because murder ruins friendships, you guys. That’s the real lesson of this movie. Friendships and hair.

0:54 - Hook murderer is in Helen’s house skulking around while she pours herself a glass of product placement. He somehow appears in her closet even though he was just downstairs when she was walking up the stairs. Hook murderers can aperate. A WILD VERONICA VAUGHN APPEARS TO CAUSE SCARY FRIGHT. Also to be a thunderous bitch just like she has been the whole movie. Also also to point out again how important Helen’s hair is to her. HAVE WE MENTIONED HELEN LOVES HER HAIR? HELEN LOVES HER HAIR. THEY WILL BE TOGETHER FOREVER, GUYS.

0:56 - HOOK MURDERER CUT OFF HELEN’S HAIR, GUYS. THIS IS WORSE THAN THAT TIME BARRY GOT RUN OVER BY A CAR.

0:57 - Julie reacts so horrified to a phone call that was technically about a bad haircut. She goes to confront Johnny Galecki. I bet he’s totally the killer, guys.

0:59 - JOHNNY GALECKI DIDN’T DO IT, GUYS, HE’S DEFINITELY IN A TRUNK FULL OF CRABS.

0:59 - Julie goes to get her friends and when they get back Johnny Galecki and all the crabs are gone. Hook killers are way better at body dumping than these clownshoes.

1:01 - HOLY SHIT RYAN PHILLIPPE JUST DELIVERED THE BEST WORST LINE READ IN HISTORY.

1:02 - Barry has decided that Ray is behind it because he’s a fisherman. In a North Carolina fishing town. Ray is sad. He has sad ’90s eyes.

1:02 - They just realized that Billy Blue might not be the guy’s real name. Guys. Of course it isn’t.

1:03 - FPJ’s eyebrows are hypnotic. No wonder SMG let them impregnate her (yes, his eyebrows did it. For they are his most virile of parts.)

1:03 - Helen is sitting in a clamshell in a parade sporting a much cuter haircut, because hook murderer was kind enough to only cut off the hair below her shoulders.

1:05 - Barry jumps an old man. The old man seemed to get the kind of stage direction “act like you’re blind.”

1:06 - Julie goes back to Anne Heche’s house. She cannot locate Anne Heche. But scary Texas Chainsaw music is playing and some manner of game fowl has been killed along with the skins of several animals. A WILD ANNE HECHE APPEARS WITH A KNIFE AND FRIGHTFUL DISTRUST.

1:07 - Phallic fisherman hats are the most popular item in this entire town. Penis hats everywhere. Bunches of peenheads.

1:09 - Anne Heche is all “my brother killed himself” and Julie is all “we killed him with a car” and Anne Heche is all “GTFO SPARKLE COOTCH” and Julie is all “WE KILLED A DIFFERENT PERSON THAN THE PERSON WE THOUGHT WE HAD KILLED.”

1:11 - Some 40-year-old teen beauty queen is singing “Fame” badly and hook murderer didn’t like it either so he hook murders Barry and everyone tries to hold Helen back like she’s crazy rather than do something about the murder that just happened.

1:13 - Oh but JK hook murderer is super speedy and can aperate and has super Barry-lifting strength. Small-town cops are all “beauty queens be crazy dramatic” while Barry is all “I’M FUCKING DEAD NOW.”

1:14 - Helen is sadder to lose her crown than her boyfriend.

1:14 - Condescending cop just mocked Helen’s horrific haircutting experience. I mean, I know I did it up there, but that’s because this is a movie and for the cop it’s REAL LIFE and that’s fucked up.

1:15 - Hook murderer has now found himself a truck and is pretending to fix it, having predicted the cop would have to go down that exact alley way. This guy is the best at murdering.

1:16 - Juile is back at home being the best at internet.

1:16 - Veronica Vaughn is at the department store being terrible at being a human sister and being hateful and monstrous like she has been this whole movie. I hope hook murderer gets her next. To the seductive jamz of Hooverphonic. I’m just gonna sway for a quick minute while he murders her in the face.

1:18 - Hook murderer hook carries the body away, fairly slowly. Like way too slowly to have done the magical Harry Potter shit he’s been doing this whole movie. But he does have time to pretend to be a scary mannequin for maximum scare impact. Helen simply refuses to use her goddamn slayer strength to fuck this guy up, down and sideways. GILES, WHERE YOU AT?

1:22 - Hook murderer appears from nowhere to kill Helen, and by “from nowhere” I mean he could have come from nowhere except the goddamn parade of happy teens.

1:23 - Julie’s all “we have to go find Helen and Barry” and Ray is all “come up on this boat with me for alonely times of love” and Julie is all “YOU’RE BARRY BLUE AND TOTES THE KILLER” and the obvious killer tells her to get into his boat and she’s all “THAT’S A STELLAR IDEA OBVIOUS KILLER” and then immediately realizes he’s a fucking killer. Julie is fucking stupid you guys.

1:26 - He looks great for having been run over by a car, bashed in the head and drowned just a year prior. Not to mention all the lugging bodies and crabs and haircutting utensils around. It’s probably a great workout. It will be the new Crossfit.

1:28 - FPJ’s face never leaves a constant state of eyebrow-raised pouty shock, even when attempting to avoid hook murder.

1:30 - OK I looked away to check my phone for a minute and JLH is in a shit ton of ice and dead bodies and FPJ is tight-rope walking and I don’t even know.

1:31 - Hook murderer is knocked out by DUN DUN DUN a hook! A boat…hook…thing. A hook thing on a boat. It’s a boat hook on a thing I DON’T KNOW BOATS. He’s not out for long though because he is made of wonder and unicorns clearly and is never not immediately fine, probably because his wardrobe is from the Ernest P. Worell line of fashion apparel.

1:33 - “We never killed anyone. This whole year was for nothing.” YES. EVERYTHING WE DID WAS FINE. WE ARE WHOLLY UNRESPONSIBLE.

1:33 - Ray: “I love you, Julie. No one gets me the way you do.” Julie: “I understand your pain.” Oh shut the fuck up.

1:34 - And only the hook remained! And bloody stump hook hand.

1:34 - Everything’s OK now and you can tell because her hair’s not garbage anymore. She’s wearing a choker into the shower because ’90s.

1:36 - SOMEONE IN HER SHOWER STILL KNOWS WHAT SHE DID LAST LAST SUMMER. WHO LET THAT PERSON INTO HER SHOWER EVEN? SCARY HOOK MURDERER APPEARANCE. SEQUEL O’CLOCK. I DANCE TO “HUSH” FOR SEVERAL MINUTES.

Thank you ALL for suggesting this movie because it’s everything I could have dreamed. I will now only do movies I haven’t seen since I was 14. It’s much better this way. May your days be filled with crowns, crabs and hook hands.

Read previous ’90s liveblogs of Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, The Cutting Edge, The Craft, Fear, The Crush, Titanic and Batman and Robin.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • katiessh

    Just saying, I saw this when I was relatively young and the scene where the killer hides in SMG's closet terrified me. I spent the next several weeks checking all the closets in my house before I went to sleep

  • JLH moves her head around like a bird during "acting". It's really distracting.

    I think you should tackle "I Still Know...Summer" next. I remember that one being gloriously stupid, even compared to the deeper Scream rip-off stuff like Urban Legend and Valentine. Either that or Cruel Intentions and SMG's cocaine crucifix.

  • stryker1121

    Anyone else find Courtney's JLH impression unbearably sexy?

    Because I thought it was!

  • BendinIntheWind

    It hurts my heart that none of us are suggesting "The Faculty" for the next go-round.

  • Derreck

    I know it's a horror movie and all, but i'm still upset.

    Helen (Sarah Michelle Gellar) worked so damn hard to keep herself alive. She broke out of a police car. She threw herself out of a goddamn building. She was thisclose to being safe.

    and yet, she STILL managed to end up with more holes in her than a pincushion. She fought so hard!! Right until the very end.

    So not fair.

  • missbisque

    Argh, despite the amazing mockery, you've now made me want to actually watch this movie, and that wasn't supposed to be possible.

    Can I vote for Disturbing Behavior next? Joey Potter needs to be held accountable.

  • I think it's on Netflix Instant--if not that then definitely Teaching Mrs. Tingle.

  • The Mega Sage

    Your impression of JLH was fantastic, and honestly a bit sexy. I would say I'd be in my bunk, but that wouldn't be respectful of you as a person, or of your talents as a writer.

    But, uh, I'll be over here somewhere. If my bunk happens to be in that direction, it is purely accidental.

  • I still say you should do 'Hackers' next.

    "I live near a manmade lake in the middle of Illinois. I won’t get to dump any bodies." For some reason, I was under the impression you lived in Chicago. If you did, that would be the answer to your body dumping needs. I wouldn't be surprised if the bottom of Lake Michigan consists entirely of bodies by now.

  • I used to live in Chicago but moved to central Illy for the baby making and raising because I don't know how to get a stroller on the L.

  • alacrify

    Crotchety old guy because it made my brain hurt. "Aperate" is not a word. I think you mean "apport". Or maybe "teleport". Fun read otherwise.

  • VonnegutSlut

    I assume she is referring the verb from the wizarding world of Harry Potter: apparate--to magically teleport.

  • alacrify

    Sorry, I didn't know. I guess I should have gone with "if you're going to use a word JK Rowling made up, at least please spell it correctly". So I'm glad I lead off with "crotchety old guy".

  • SMG's hair was fab after it was cut off. I wish they could have brought the stylist from this movie with SMG to Buffy. We could have avoided half of season 2, the beginning of season 3, and a few episodes in the middle of season 4. Being the chosen one didn't have to mean having bad hair half the time.

  • Emily Smith

    Nothing, NOTHING, will ever be as bad as the inch long fringe she had in Amends. I cannot watch that episode without yelling at the screen whenever I look at it.

  • "It's not the monster in me that needs killing. It's your Supercut."

  • The tiny bangs time was the worst time.

  • Definitely. I feel like there should be some kind of deconstruction of Buffy's hairstyles and what they symbolize. Surely someone has written such a thing, even if it's completely sarcastic.

  • Please get on this immediately. I will fund your Kickstart campaign. With ashtray change, admittedly, but I'll do my best.
    I actually loved early Season 3 hair, but I've always had a thing for the photo-negative look. If I tanned better (by which I mean, at all), I'd highlight my hair til it played "Icky Thump" every time it moved. Everyone would roll their eyes and whisper "fashion victim" and I wouldn't care a bit.

  • L.O.V.E.

    First of all, that header pick is sorely lacking a "Come at me bro!" tag.

    Also, at 0:12 you discuss virgin beach sex and sandy vaginas. That's an unforgivable missed opportunity to reference this:

    http://www.pajiba.com/comment_...

  • ScrimmySCrim

    "It will be the new Crossfit."

    <3

  • Matt LaCasse

    We need to talk about 90's movie soundtracks and how awesome they were in relation to the movies they belong to. For example...the Judgement Night soundtrack? Still one of my favorite 90's albums.

  • tonyinabag

    I remember my bff INSISTING we go see this, even though I thought it was going to be dumb and horrible and also I really dislike scary movies but I went anyway because, well, I don't know why I said yes. But we went. And I VIVIDLY remember the only part of the movie that made me jump was when Anne Heche popped up at the car window. The rest of it was zzzzzzz.

    My suggestion for a movie recap is one of my favorite horrible movies that I don't know many people who have ever seen it: The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human. Starring Mackenzie Astin and Carmen Electra. How can you go wrong with that?

  • Mmmm, crabs.

  • denesteak

    This movie needs more Giles.

  • Jessie456

    Any chance of liveblogging the teen movie classic She's All That? I remember loving it (and Freddie Prinze Jr to be honest) when I was younger but I think it's been a good 10 years or so and I'd love to see your reaction to it.

  • Janis Miller D

    do SCREAM! and CLUELESS!

  • Lauren_Lauren

    Ryan Phillippe is her boyfriend and is happy because it’s 1997 and he is still a person at this point.

    OOOOoooooOOOOOOOh, burn!

    This whole thing is fantastic . . . I really want to see "Can't Hardly Wait" done next. It'll be a 2 for 1 JLoveHew Special. Pretty please?

  • Even Stevens

    Can't Hardly Wait is a flawless and timeless movie and is impervious to mocking!

  • belphebe

    spotify has the soundtrack. I swear I can smell manic panic hair dye. Time to go make bad decisions regarding dumb st8 edge skater boys.

  • Formerly Known as Melody

    I had forgotten just how ridiculous this thing actually was. It's so bad that it becomes amazing with the fantastic Courtney Liveblogging the 90s treatment. Thank you for this.

    And JLH is terrible at everything. Anyone remember her singing career?

  • You mean IM BARENAKED AND I CANT TAKE IT?

    http://youtu.be/Xv4NBOWhw9A

  • I raise you a How Do I Deal? : https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

  • Sweet. Holy. God.

  • TK

    She reminds me of Jessica Simpson - someone quite pretty and probably very nice who keeps getting breaks despite being rather untalented and not particularly bright.

  • I saw the saddest episode of Punk'D ever where they called her in to audition for a ridiculous Oscar-bait-sounding historical fiction film. She was so excited and hopeful that she would get the part, I couldn't even enjoy the joke. Sad.

  • LurkeyTurkey

    Terrible, JeLoHew. F-. Just awful, particularly the line about being super deep and putting people to sleep while removing her shirt in the video. "Take me seriously, guys. Ugh. Guys?"
    Perfs Impresh, Courtney. Perfs.

  • Formerly Known as Melody

    YES.

    KILL IT WITH FIRE.

  • NateMan

    I kinda hate myself for thinking it, but I'm pretty sure JLH is just an ambulatory pair of tits. This liveblog was awesome.

  • BendinIntheWind

    Did not think this series could top "The Craft", but somehow, it happened. My 7th grade volleyball team sleepover thanks you for this. We also had a LOT of 13 year old questions about Beach Sex.

  • Kala

    I snickered and chortle-laughed with nearly each time stamp, but for some sick reason, nothing made me laugh harder than, "Ryan Phillippe is her boyfriend and is happy because it’s 1997 and he is still a person at this point."

  • I actually laughed. Thank goodness I was on my lunch hour and alone in my office.

  • Thank you for this, I love you. Today is a magical day where the network is down (head office having issues and I am a remote user) yet the internet still works so it is perfect timing for me to read the above. "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR" indeed, I have better get to reading.

  • oilybohunk7

    You may be the only person in my life that has ever referenced Kula Shaker and I love you for it. Whenever I hear them (which is always coming from my iPod, it isn't like anyone else ever gives them a play anymore) I go '90s pop up video and tell whoever I'm with that the lead singer, Crispin Mills, is Hayley Mills' son.

    I have the soundtrack as well and Clumsy being on it sent me on a years long Our Lady Peace obsession.

  • That soundtrack really was magic. It introduced me to Our Lady Peace so I will always be grateful except lately because they have gotten kind of boring and late career AOR Goo-Goo Dolls-ish.

    I'm sure SMG kept taking these helpless victim roles as counter programming for Buffy but it was a really bad idea. Scream 2, this, you just keep waiting for her to kick the crap out of the bad guy into death, quip, and go to the Bronze with the Scoobs and job well done.

  • Buck off

    They had the scariest fucking secret track on that album, I found out one night when I put that album on to fall asleep to and nearly shat myself.

  • oilybohunk7

    That almost makes me miss CDs. I used to love finding secret tracks!

  • Pitry

    Huh, I saw it's "I know what you did last summer" and wondered if Kula Shaker would be mentioned!

    (Oi! Their last album was released in 2010! Why, yes, I AM one of the five people who own it....)

  • oilybohunk7

    I have K, then the songs Hush and I Would Die For Love. I love encountering people who appreciate them!

  • kushiro -

    The sequel to this has perhaps my favourite stupid title in movie history: I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. Like, I haven't forgotten or anything. It's right there, safe in my brain.

    (Featuring Jack Black as Titus Telesco, pot-dealer with dreads.)

  • elirt

    BRAVO! I thought I wasn't going to enjoy this because I hated this movie, but of course, that's *why* I enjoyed it. GILES! LOL

  • In re: your bucket list. Try Clinton Lake. Between the drunks and the nuclear power plant, even if the body turns up, no one is going to be too surprised. If you let me know, I'll make you dinner, after.

  • Or maybe, like, raccoon lake, in ole' C-town. If you can get a hold of some meth to attach to the body, regardless of where it washes up, the authorities there will just be like "Oh - another one - probably tried to clean the lake bed or salvage a dumped TV." And not even investigate further.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    The real key to body dumping and murder in general is disguising motive, so it really is ideal to pull stuff in meth country or a sketchy downtown area and then just stick some drugs or drug residue on the body or something. When it's a dead body someone took obvious pains to hide, cops get curious.

    #murderlessons
    #Ireadtoomanythrillersnadmysteries
    #youguys,whyamIhashtagging?

  • emmalita

    That's generosity, right there.

  • deliarpatterson

    as Thelma
    explained I cannot believe that a stay at home mom can make $7420 in four weeks
    on the internet . more info here C­a­s­h­f­i­g­.­C­O­M­

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