Pajiba

I honestly don't have the faintest idea what you are talking about in this sentence: "Crash certainly wasn't the first Hollywood picture to insult us with its Flecknoe-esque impotence--it's just become the handiest shorthand for everything off-putting found in the likes of Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers"

-those are pretty damn compelling movies.

"...until these purveyors of what passes for Meaning suffocate on their own fetor...."

Hehehehehehehe, although I'm pretty sure that when the bodies are recovered they'll all be found masturbating each other.

Here's another red flag: Tom Cruise is in it, that's enough for me to stay, far and away.

woah woah woah what did scorsese do?

Meh, Scorcesse's been coasting since Casino. Gangs of New York for example, is one of the silliest things I've seen in my life, the same goes for the The Aviator. One of his biggest problems is trying to pass off that bitch DiCaprio as some sort of leading man (not buying it bubba), the other is that he's filming things at a grand scale when they really don't need to be. It makes everything seem "caricaturesque."
The Departed was kinda good (in spite of DiCpario) but nothing out of this world either.

Great review, the problem with Redford is that he's spent to much time getting his pole waxed and his ego stroked at that bullshittin' pseudo film festival known as Sundance. Somewhere along the way someone convinced him to try his hand at serious directing( stay with the lite shit, let Scorsese do the heavy lifting). And what we get is a muddle minded movie about absolutely nothing. As far as lil tommy goes the only time I want to see him is when he's trying to stop blofeld from blowing up the world with his ray gun. Meryl baby, what happened, I know a muthafuker gotta eat, but damn. You had me at The Deer Hunter. I thought you were through with this nonsense after The Manchurian Candidate.

this review is unreadably pretentious.

Where's the No Country review????

Hey, how about laying off Scorsese. Sure he hasn't done anything objectively great since Goodfellas, but the Haggis comparison is just downright offensive.

I know it's a tangent, but there's obviously not much to say about the movie. So there it is.

So..... you're saying it sucked, yes? Forgive me, I'm an American. From the South. The American South. I don't understand all those big words and wordiness with the words and the words. But as the wise man said in that movie about them wimmin and the hair-dos, "an ounce of pretention is worth a pound of manure". I may not be all that bright, but that's a lot of poop you're working with.

This thread is ah....gonna get bitchy...

Damn, were you paid by the 50-cent word for this review? It's okay to state things simply and clearly every once in awhile, you know.

Nice rant and all, but I actually wanted a review of the film, not just a generic lament about morality films.

its fiddy cent to you sir..

http://www.myafricansafaris.com

"unoriginal as a caffeine-addled Pajiba reviewer whacking a mediocre studio picture upside the head with a thesaurus."

...sounds like THIS review.

I don't know I really liked Schindler's List and Band of Brothers. I can see where you would classify Private Ryan because it was fiction. But, Schindler's List was unflinching and Band of Brothers was based on actual accounts.

I knew that this movie was going to be just "meh" because of a.) that super preachy monologue that Redford delivers in the trailer. And b.) How a complex real world issue can be tackled by a two hour HOLLYWOOD film... I'm a little dubious.

" 'unoriginal as a caffeine-addled Pajiba reviewer whacking a mediocre studio picture upside the head with a thesaurus.'

...sounds like THIS review."

I took that line as self-deprecating humor.

I personally appreciated "Band of Brothers" and Schindler's List so was taken aback to see them included in the context of a Crash/Haggis-like categorization. That said, I enjoyed this review and felt it was helpful and useful as far as whether or not I'd opt to see this movie and thank our intrepid chalk dropping reviewer for going out on a limb to provide this intel.

"movies that make a whole art out of those off-putting moments found in stronger films like Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan and "Band of Brothers.""

I'm not sure how the reviewer meant it, but I took this sentence to mean that Crash and the other films like it are ripping off the better films. I didn't see it as insulting to Schindler's List, et al. But hey, maybe I'm reading it wrong...

There IS a LOT of crap/doodoo/manure in this review... Scorcese kicks ass.

On further review, it seems the reviewer is referring to the overly saccharine and heavy handed moments in generally good films.

What we've got here is failure, to communicate.

I'm 100% sure she wasn't ragging on Schindler's, Band of Bros. etc. Neither was she slamming all of Scorcese, just the present day who most definitely does NOT "kick ass."

Wow.

Well, first I must say that Pajibans tend to have a fairly solid grasp on the English language, which is one of the reasons that this is the only site on which I actually read the comments.

But with that said, the words chosen for this review were excessively pretentious. It reads as if the reviewer looked in a thesaurus for the most abstract way to say every third word.

Please, Ms. Richildis, find a happy medium between the writing style of a standard website forum and that of a thesis on the English language. Until then, I don't think I can stomach another one of your reviews.

But with that said, the words chosen for this review were excessively pretentious. It reads as if the reviewer looked in a thesaurus for the most abstract way to say every third word.

I think that was the part of the joke. As Courtney said, she did include a line that kinda gave away the gag. Just like this movie was overwrought and and trying to do too much with so little, so did the review "stumble" over itself by trying to sound smarter than it really was. The big words were to show how big words and gestures aren't worth squat if the foundation they are built on is weak.

And seeing so many people take it seriously (and complaining about the words) is quite disheartening. I mean, can we have a review where the humor doesn't hinge on the scatological (no offense Dustin)? Please do not say the only way to make a snarky review is to use wacky nicknames and cartoonish metaphors (once again, no offense, Dustin).

And, as kdm stated, she was not slighting those movies, but pointing out that Crash et al. took the really saccharine parts of those films (that worked well in modesty) and stretched them out over an entire movie.

Man, people are really out of it today.

Hey, what's wrong with learning some new words now and then? Perhaps a little over the top, but I like that every reviewer on this site has his/her own distinct style. Ms. Richildis, you are in fact my favorite reviewer.

I took the comment about weak moments to refer to such moments as "One more life! This Nazi pin which symbolizes the irony of my greatest acheivement! It could have bought one more life!" (Shindler's List), or perhaps "Am I good man? Tell me I'm a good man! Tell me it was worth all those hot guys dying for me to be alive today!" (Private Ryan) Etc.

There was no way in HELL I was seeing this movie anyway, so I'm happy to hear I'm not missing anything. Cruise? No thank you.

Er...that's achievement. Sorry.

I don't even see where the "big words" or pretention are in this review. I thought it was witty, and more than a bit bored with the movie in question, so it tried to give context as a way to pinpoint precisely what was so irritating about Redford's endeavour. And I'm sorry, but she's right about the American war movies she cites: they are schmaltzy li'l buggers, probably because all of them are swathed in Spielbergisms. They're not ineffective, but as Cara points out, they frequently use a schmaltzy shorthand to get the job done.

Ranylt is my favourite reviewer here too. Grow a vocabulary and deal, dude/ttes.

So really like the word "schmaltzy." Sue me.

Hmmm, not getting the writer's joke:

That's...... a paddlin'

Oh, thank God. Once I read the comments I didn't feel so bad for blanking out in the third paragraph in the review. Sure, I just got back from a German drinking game where I gladly covered for my less alcohol-tolerant friends, but I seriously thought I was under an "attack of the stupids" halfway through.

It's too late here to try and sound intelligent. Meh.

BS-

Agreed. The sooner Marty gets his head out of DiCaprio's ass, the better off we'll all be.

Can't watch this film tho, as I'm sticking to my guns. I promised myself that MI3 would be the last Tom Cruise movie I saw, and life is way too enjoyable without him to go back now.

Seriously, I'm a little disapointed in my fellow Pajibians. Doesn't anyone here appreciate a little satire now and then? Just because the reviewer didn't cuss the movie out and stuff, she's pretentious?

I've found every movie Robert Redford ever directed to be completely boring.

The Natural -- snore. The Milagro Beanfield War -- when they said the pig was the best thing in it, I should have listened to them because they were right. Crions for Cruise? Think I'll skip it.

Oye! Ease up on the reviewer people! As Vermilion noted, she did give up the gag a few times.

For my part it was a damn good review, I was planning to avoid it once I saw the Cruise was in it, now that plan has been officially confirmed.

Furthermore I'm taking down some of those words to use in class! See you can learn something new everyday.

Reading this review has become downright painful-it's not the big words,I know what they mean,it's just that she could've expressed her thoughts in a much simpler manner & not necessarily resort to this shiteous grandeur of smartiness.You know big words,we get it.Now get the fuck over it.

i dig the irony.

Maybe I'm a low-brow slob (or just unpretentious) who doesn't know good art from his asshole, but Scorcese's most recent stuff is IMO better than much of his previous. And as much as I disdained Leo in his overrated teenage efforts, I'm won over to him.

may be more COWBELL?

Wow. What the hell is going on up in here? Cheese and crackers, people.

Anyhoo, Ranylt, good to hear (or read?) from you again. Hope all is well with you!

"mooncalves"?

I have never seen or heard this "word".
RR, you lost me.

I personally saw nothing wrong with the review. I found it pretty easy to follow and enjoyed reading it.

So, I take that the film is basically a snoozefest, no?

Wow, the claws have come out today. These comments remind me of the grammar wars of Pajiba yesteryear. Slow reading? Yes. Challenging syntax? Most definitely. However, if you can't handle cracking open a dictionary from time to time to get the jist of an article, you ought to head over to perezhilton.com, where the posts are more your speed.

Vermillion wins at life, as per usual.
pasadenamike is a close second with the cowbell.

Shut. the. fuck. up.

Not you, Ranylt, your review was spot on, ironic in its self-deprecation and very interesting.

Those other people, well, they can just suck it.

There, is that the level of commentary that you all wanted? Here it is. Tom Cruise is a blight and the self-important style of film making that this review bashed was spot on. Fuck you all.

Sorry, just a bit wound up from a fight with the would be boyfriend. I don't mean it, honestly. I love pajibans and all their varied opinions, even if I disagree vehemently.

I, for one, found your review perfectly readable and as always, interesting.

Keep it up, Ranylt.

I thought Ranylt expressed perfectly all that I hated about Crash. I saw it on DVD and had the leisure to watch the extra features: utter self-congratulatory tripe. I'd felt quite neutral towards Thandie Newton before then, but the mere fact that she was narrating this "journey towards tolerance" with such a poor play at understated gravitas made me want to throw a shoe at her.
Unfortunately a bunch of my friends claim Crash is one of their favourite films; I have the awful feeling that that's because they're white, middle class and in Australia.

I found this review very difficult to read and, except for the plot summary, was incomprehensible for me. I had to reread a lot of sentences in the beginning many times but I still couldn't understand. It was too wordy. For instance, you italics tabula rasa but there were about 30 other words that might as well been in italics as well.

daeyeth, I hate to be a dick, but putting foreign phrases or words in italics is fairly common. Since "tabula rasa" is Latin it got the italics, while the rest of the review seemed to be English.

Who put stupid on the water supply?

To be filed in Pajibakan annals right next to the Misogyny Incident and the Retarded Conundrum.

File as: The Stupid Episode

""mooncalves"?

I have never seen or heard this "word".
RR, you lost me."

Seriously, mrmook? It's an old word that used to have agricultural connotations, but came to mean anything misbegotten. Shakespeare used it and it turns up in all sorts of literary places to this day. Sounds like a perfect description for this film, to me! I won't be seeing it. Thanks Ranylt.

Ranylt, I love your reviews! I love your style and diction and wit, and I love how you focused here on the hubris and pretension of the film rather than the plot.

Robert Redford was good in The Sting and Butch Casssidy, but he's been an insufferable ass ever since.

Also, say what you will about Scorcese, I fucking loved The Departed.

Come now Pajiba.

I didn't understand a word of what the movie was about. So OTT, so Pretentious, so Cynical... This review informs me of NATCH about the film, but more about how many choice of words u've got.

And I'm English.

Give us a Good review y'all.

Dustin hold a meeting of the whole staff and put a stop 2 this.

I admit it... I completely missed the joke. I really thought this woman (the reviewer) had skipped her meds or something. Sorry, y'all.. sorry, Ranylt Richildis. Appreciation for irony tends to atrophy after years of git-er-dones and you-might-be-a-redneck-ifs. But now that the Smart People (and I mean that without a trace of snark) have 'splained it to me, I get it. I didn't wet my pants over it or nuthin', but... heh- I get it. Not bad!

"mooncalves"? I have never seen or heard this "word".

Are you on the Internet? I can tell you're on the Internet, because you have access to Pajiba.
Do you know how to work the Internet? I also know that you do know how, because you were able to post a comment on Pajiba.
So why the fuck didn't you do a search on "mooncalf" before you made yourself look like an idiot?
There's Ask.com. There's Wikipedia.org. There's our old friend Google. There's about half a million ways you could have used the Internet to avoid outing yourself as an ass.
Sheee.

Dustin hold a meeting of the whole staff and put a stop 2 this.

Dustin cant you apply some kind of program 2 pajiba 2 block posts without punctuation that use numb3rs in place of w0rds. They maek mai hed hurt. kthxbai.

My Dinner with Andre ...

I loved Andre from Project Runway!!

I am going to have to agree with Jerce here. Oh, and Jean, you kind of sound like a dumbass, excuse my french of course. Now, I ain't sayin' I don' like to wallow in the filth of good words that don' take too much thinkin' time. I am really, really trailer-trashy: worked as a carny and have 8 dogs, so of course I know how to talk with people on my level. But you got to be able to at least read "smart-folk talk" sometimes, and understand it. If I can read it, so can you Jean, so can you. I just can't talk it.

Love always,

Emily

ps. Hey ya'll, I now know what "mooncalf" means!

Tom Cruise has become so jarringly crazy that it is impossible for me to suspend my disbelief for the length of a trailer, much less an entire film.

The review was incomprehensible to me, so I think I will go wallow in my own stupidity. Thank you.

File as: The Stupid Episode

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2007 8:40 AM

aka The Day The Earth Went "Huh?"

Jerce

Hey maybe u shld check out Urban Dictionary urself if u can't read my comments, seeing as u're on the internet and can wk ur way around it with google etc. & all.

Please!

She's not trying to be ironic here with the use of "big words" to contrast the movie. It's become the style of writing now of Pajiba.

ps. Love always, Emily. Spare me.

I agree with every other commenter that stated something to the effect that this review was hard to follow because it seemed to contradict itself by bashing several good movies, it's choice of obscure verbage made it unreadable (no matter how hard I try, I can't even get through the middle without becoming comatose), and it didn't even review the actual movie in question--it was just a long, incoherent ramble about...whatever.
Not being familiar with the plot beforehand is certainly no excuse for this review. How about trying to write something that other people will WANT to read? This site is for enjoyment, you know, it's not supposed to be a chore to read through.
(Yeah- that's a scathing, bitchy comment. But I bet people will read it without snoring!)

Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers

-those are pretty damn compelling movies.

Saving Private Ryan was not. I still choke on Tom Hanks spouting a line against Montgomery and the - typical - failure of Hollywood to acknowledge there were British and Canadian armies at Normandy.

There is nothing sickening in quite the same way as American socialists: Opposed to everything great in their country and just as ignorant about the rest of the world as their worst caricatures of fly-over country.

I thought this was a fine review. I certainly did not need to get out my dictionary - or a thesaurus - to understand the BIG WORDS. It is not Pajiba film reviews that are the problem. It is the Pajiba comments section. You people are a half-step up from the YouTube fever swamp.

"So..... you're saying it sucked, yes? Forgive me, I'm an American. From the South. The American South. I don't understand all those big words and wordiness with the words and the words. But as the wise man said in that movie about them wimmin and the hair-dos, "an ounce of pretention is worth a pound of manure". "

Snerk. I want you to review this movie, Hattie.

"... American socialists: Opposed to everything great in their country and just as ignorant about the rest of the world as their worst caricatures of fly-over country...."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!?!?! American SociaWHATDAFUCK?

You need to stop watching FOX, tell your Cable provider to include some other channels in your basic package.

Dearest Jean,

I love all, how could I not love you too? Except of course if you think that any movie that was not made by Hitchcock was "Hitchcockian." But even then, I would still love you. Now, I am sorry if me calling you a dumbass was harsh words, but.... I don't care. I guess I called you a dumbass because, well, you said "u've." Now I am all for "hicky" talk because I am a hick, but when you write hicky in order to call a reviewer "Pretentious" that is kinda making yourself look like a..... dumbass. You say "check the Urban Dictionary" maybe you should check the "Regular Dictionary" and learn how to not use numbers to write. I mean like OMG! I know I am sure as hell trashier than you are, and probably younger or the same age as you and yet I still manage to make a sentence without the use of numbers. Now, no one is asking for anyone to be a Picasso with words when writing their comments (I know I sure as hell am not- not even close) but all I am saying is it is amazing how easy it is to write "to" instead of "2" or "you" instead of "u".

As always (and I say this with all my heart)
Hugs and Kisses,

Emily

ps. Feel free to lash out at my over use of comas. I can't help it! I LOVE THOSE SUCKERS!

Emily let's not make this about us.

The number of people complaining about the big, "pretentious" words in this review is depressing. Is American education really that bad? Do you ever read anything longer than a paragraph?

Maybe, for your own safety, you'd be better off sticking to the "Sweet Valley High" novels. I hear they're full of small, easily understood words.

SWEET VALLEY HIGH! Y'all remember that one where Elizabeth got a concussion or something and woke up thinking she was the slutty twin, and then she dumped her nice boyfriend to make out with Bruce Patman who totally almost got into her britches but then she hit her head again and it snapped her out of it and she told Bruce Patman to go piss up a rope??

That was awesome.

Also, Lila Fowler is a HOAR.

(I could TOTALLY review stuff, y'all! You could make people you hate read it and then afterwards it would be like they got a lobotomy.)

I'm not a native speaker of English and, frankly speaking, didn't have that much trouble following the review. I do major in English literature though. Maybe that helps.

To Ranylt-
If the use high-level vocabulary in this review was a joke, then it totally flew over my head and I'm sorry. If not, then please, please, please don't stop writing like this because of a few complainers. It wasn't an easy read, but I understood the review perfectly well, and I don't even live in an English-speaking country. There are so very few sites on the internet with good-quality writing. Please don't dumb it down. Frankly, if I didn't understand your review I'd be more ashamed than outraged. But that's just me.

Your right Jean. I am sorry about calling you a dumbass. Dumbass is too harsh a word, even though I go crazy hate when someone uses numbers instead of letters. I need to stop living by the motto of "What Would Riggins Do" and start living by the motto "What Would Jesus Do" or possilby "What Would Peyton Manning Do." Yes that was a Friday Night Lights plug, and no I do not appologize for that.

Lets be friends,

Emily

Elisa - Well said. I second your whole comment.

Lets. *thunbs up*

*And cut to Jean & Emily sipping on coffee together(your place or mine) whilst reading the latest movie review on Pajiba.

You two might want to, you know, get a room.

:)

BarbadoSlim

We're good now. lol.

Somewhere deep inside what's left of my shrivelled little soul is softly weeping.

I know it's been said (V, Jerce, you rock as always) but we're complaining about the use of "big words"? Really?

Wow.

Emily, you are fast becoming one of my favourite commenters, you have some very good points there lady, and I applaud you - and your love of commas (God help me, they are the very best of the punctuation marks).

enjoyable review...though i will admit to scratching my head a bit while reading it, i mainly attribute that to just having gotten off a weekend bender with the roomies.

but what's with the eastwood and current-day scorsese hate? yeah, they can be a little pretentious and grandiose, but i would never lump them into the same group as is-that-my-daughter-in-there penn.

Perfect review. You expressed so much of how I felt about that movie, and Hollywood "Film" in general. This sentence, especially:

In one convenient monosyllable I can communicate to readers a host of wretched qualities: windy, self-important, moronic, bungling, baroque, Oscar-bait. And as usual, it's all disguised by solid performances, hot-button topics, extended dialogue, and a veneer of competence, which is guaranteed to flame the viewer's rage when she realizes someone attempted to beguile her, once again, with The Serious

is just pitch-perfect. I think the worst thing about the Iraq War is the way it has fueled the fire of The Serious in the hack pretentious filmmakers of the world. But oh, the Academy Awards that will be won because of it!

Christ, I wish more film critics had the same bullshit detectors as Pajiba.

i just realized that since eastwood directed mystic river he IS partially responsible for is-that-my-daughter-in-there penn...but not completely. anyways, it still doesn't change a single thing because i absolutely cherish the bridges of madison county in all it's understated glory.

is-that-my-daughter-in-there penn

Ah, yes. That scene will always make me chuckle, in all of its cringeworthy glory.

Please dear god do not dumb this site down any further! It's bad enough the Pajiba Love section is almost entirely celebrity gossip now. (and it doesn't matter if you use some stupid Voldemortian nickname for the celebrity, it's still fucking celebrity gossip) I believe that most people here came because of the smart writing. There are plenty of monosyllabic and non threatening sites to get your snark from people, if the divine Ms. Richildis scares you then please go somewhere that's else, instead of LCDing the world. Looking up a new word isn't a chore, it's a small joy, people!
And Hattie, being from the South does NOT mean one must be "ignant." That shit pisses me off so much. Alabamapink and others, back me up, won't you? The Larry the Cable Douche schtick is tired, y'all.

I just realized this article is the perfect accompaniment to that memorable comment made by one of our fellow Pajimaniacs that went something like:

"If I have to see one of these assbags sitting in a dirctor's chair (Samuel L. Jackson?) with steepled fingers talking about his "craft" I'm going to puke"

Or words to that effect.

mullah cimoc say ameriki need google: mighty wurltizer +cia

then to asking why usa control media try to suppress attendance of anti war movie. A: so the other creator persons not to make the anti war movie too.

this all part of mighty wurlitzer operation. now so sad to see ameriki, him woman the lesbian hate the man, him daughter the slut take the LBT (low back tattoo)and him son the gay homosexual of aid sick.

Just wanted to add in my opinion that the review was fine. Actually I can't see what some people are complaining about in regards to word usage, I reread it just to check. Perfectly understandable, and enjoyable; not my favourite review but by no means bad.

I am really beginning to hate this site and all the pretentious reviews.

After reading all the comments, I went back and reread the review itself and I'm wondering what the hell is wrong with a lot of you. I had zero trouble following the review and except for double checking what bete noir means I didn't need to use a dictionary at all.

Some of you need to improve your vocabularies and comprehension skills.

This comments section is really surprising me! I'm a longtime reader and I had thought this site had more intelligent readers than average.

I just cannot understand what was so difficult about understanding this review. I'm downright shocked by this reaction. It's a real head-scratcher for sure.

The style of this review was a bit tongue-in-cheek, fairly easy to comprehend. I rarely found myself having to re-read any sentence... I don't know what mooncalves are and sure I may not have known exactly what some of the other words meant, but hello? Contextual Clues. You know, critical thinking skills. Apply them. It's easy.

I fail to see how the review is pretentious. It looks like the entire review is really a punchline. It was cute.

Each Pajiba reviewer has their own unique style. I appreciate that, as do I appreciate the hard work they put into their writings.

Hey everybody, I found out what Flecknoe-esque means. They have a whole entry in Wikipedia about it. There's five minutes of my life I'll never get back. Should have read as far as Crash drawer and figured if it's Haggisian then it is uredeemable and not read the rest of the review.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Flecknoe

Doesn't anyone read Dryden anymore?

"His brows thick fogs, instead of glories,grace,
And, lambent dullness played around his face."
Lines 110-111

Macflecknoe

please, folks, if you didnt understand the review, dont pretend like you did by thinking it's some sort of super ironic joke. thats somehow worse than the people just going "HUH WHATS THOSE WERDS MEAAN?". at least they aren't faking it.

Well, gawddamn, Isabelle- ya reckon? You don't seem sure, what with you screeching for back up and all.

I think this has about been done to death. The review was making a funny. A HAHAHAHAHAHA! Now I must get back to my P.B.R. and my rasslin.

If you really do encounter that much difficult with the level of diction, then I hear www.dictionary.reference.com is great.

How's THAT for pretentious??

I also don't see why not knowing what half the words mean is a point of pride for some people here. Anyway, I enjoyed the review, and keep up this awesome wordiness.

Nuts.

I stepped in to see what in the HOLY HELL could have caused the comment thread to get over 90 for
a frelling Tom Cruise/Robert Redford vehicle that everyone knew was going to be a piece of trite, bombastic Oscar bait.

Big mistake. I wasted all this perfectly good time reading through the fussin' and fightin' when I should have been scrubbing my bathroom floor.

Okay, so sometimes I want a review to tell me the basics: was the movie good, was it worth the big bucks for a ticket or Netflix it or skip it all together? This was clearly not one of those reviews, but it doesn't make it a crappy review.

Admittedly, I have to be in the mood to read a more, ahem, cerebral examination of a movie, but I certainly don't think that is was necessary to call RR to the carpet so vehemently over her chosen writing style. If you aren't into reviews that skew slightly off the beaten path, don't come to Pajiba. Check out your local paper or Yahoo! movies or Entertainment Weekly.

Isabelle, I will say that not all folks below the Mason-Dixon line are ignorant red-of-the-necks. But sometimes I do feel like a stranger in my own town. I think Blackwater Hattie might live in my neighborhood. Probably one of those houses with no grass in the yard on the account of the fifteen dogs, Rebel flag flying high, and at least two cars up on jacks. Yeeee-haw!

Y'all are crazy. Love it.

Dearest Jean,

I am so glad that we can now be coffee buddies. I like Caramel Macchiatos, which is weird because I don't like caramel. But I am glad you have accepted my extended hand in friendship. This has been, as always, a peculiar Sunday. Peculiar in a freakin' awesome Pajiba fight Sunday way. I love you Pajiba.

Sincerely,

Emily

ps. Alex the Odd, commas are the best punctuation marks ever invented. I personally hate colons, and their stupid emoticons. Or as my friends put it : (

pps. I just noticed in a previous post I wrote "coma"! Stupid Emily, it is comma.

A perfect judge will read each work of wit
With the same spirit that its author writ
Survey the whole nor seek slight faults to find
Where nature moves and rapture warms the mind,
Nor lose for that malignant dull delight
The generous pleasure to be charmed with wit
But in such lays as neither ebb nor flow,
Correctly cold and regularly low
That, shunning faults, one quiet tenor keep;
We cannot blame indeed--but we may sleep.

i a chinese who study for english mastery, also love the film to watch and pajiba the reviewers to read up on.

so good r.r. for express more finely detail the emotion and thought by word. really. have fun and awaken some joy to learn the meaning discovery of you r.r.

thanks be to you

"I just realized this article is the perfect accompaniment to that memorable comment made by one of our fellow Pajimaniacs that went something like:

"If I have to see one of these assbags sitting in a dirctor's chair (Samuel L. Jackson?) with steepled fingers talking about his "craft" I'm going to puke"

Or words to that effect.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2007 5:21 PM"

I'm not sure if you meant it to do so, but I'm flattered. I mean, does being (imperfectly) quoted make me a real Pajiban now? And, if it does...how can I go back to being an outsider? The air is fresher out there.

Thanks, RR, for sparing me from wasting my time and money on this movie.

Too bad its apparently a bad flick, but I gotta say, the negative responses to the review itself are the real disappointment

Not a particularly great review, but informed, moderately entertaining, and clever, with its heart in the right place in this all too uncommon way: it respects its readers and proceeds from beginning to end on the tacit assumption that they can think for themselves, fill in the blanks, and play. A rare attitude, in my limited experience anyway.

And, suspecting it may need to be spelled out, I'll make it clear that by being able to 'read for themselves', I'm not talking about a having a serviceable scrabble vocabulary or handy access to dictionaries, although its true that I'd also like to think that unfamiliar words in and of themselves shouldn't be cause for grinning resentment and blind terror, which is a different, albeit related, subject.

A shame that the reviewer seems to have misjudged her audience. Nevertheless, I hope she doesn't trade the keyboard in for a great big spoon anytime soon.

Aaah, Emily I fear that is where we diverge, I adore colons and use them far too often. Actually I think my love for punctuation is general and covers all kinds - it's obviously a reaction against all the poorly written crap I have to read on a daily basis.

jordan m, why do you assume that everyone who sees irony in ther review "just doesn't get it". It's called a difference in interpretation and is part of the beauty of the written word. I, personally, didn't see the review as a "big ironic joke" I just thought it was well written, if a smidge overly verbose, and completely understandable.

Oh, this thread was hard to resist, I just had to get out of my self-imposed silence on pajiba.
I like reading Ranylt Richildis's reviews for the same reason that I've been coming back to pajiba for more than a year now--reviews that weren't dumbed down and actually intellectually stimulating, not to mention comments that are well-informed, well-punctuated (Alex the Odd! Emily! You are not alone in your love of punctuation marks. I'm in love with the em-dash, myself), and just plain smart.
I also have to chime in on the chorus: I'm Asian--born, raised, and still living in Asia (have only been to Australia outside my home country), and I did get the extended joke, and the "big words." Why the big fuss?

Posted by: amea_gari at November 12, 2007 12:32 AM
--------------------------------------------

It was meant as a compliment, one of the funniest comments I've read here :)

And no, there's no going back...

Okay, so last night I watched Cool Hand Luke for the first time in years. It was great.

I tell you that story to tell you this one:

What we've got here is failure, to communicate.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 10, 2007 5:43 PM

I got this great visual of Cruise spouting Newman's line from somewhere and getting shot by a bunch of pissed off pajibans.

Then I laughed so hard I snorted apple through my nose.

I over share. I apologize.

Quasi-unrelated: Emily and Jean, are you one person having a conversation with yourself? Just wondering.

Wow....that's a lot of comments reviewing the reviewer. I personally had no trouble reading the review...in fact, I felt it was very refreshing to have to think about what I was reading again, like when I was back in school (what can I say, I love to learn).

Once again, I love the difference of opinion and "snarky" attitude displayed by the reviewers and commenters here. Makes me feel good about using this site as a guideline for my movie-viewing experience. The different ages, locations, and attitudes of the Pajibian populace always make for good reading and providing intelligent conversation.

And I feel you on the Southern living thing. Although not southern myself, I sometimes do feel alone here in AL. That's why I keep the few friends who can keep up with me close by.

So I've put the schools of thought about this review into four easy-to-distinguish categories. Pick one!

1. The School of Clever - This review is a clever, ironic take on an overblown, unnecessarily verbose movie.

2. The School of Intelligence - The reviewer is simply in possession of an excellent vocabulary, and there's nothing wrong with that.

3. The School of Pretension - This reviewer's diction is merely an egocentric display of condescension towards the Pajiba audience.

4. The School of the Trailer Down By the River - Them big words hurt my brain!

I was learning towards The School of Intelligence, but now I'm firmly in The School of Clever. And this is coming from someone who played the pretension card in the last bitchfest (and who kind of regrets it). I base it on the fact that:

1. The Pajiba staff are generally intelligent, funny people who are not above irony (see their review or Norbit or I Now Pronounce Chuck and Larry).

2. It's TOO coincidental that a review of a pretentious, overwritten, meandering movie is pretentious, overwritten, and meandering. Come on. That wouldn't be lost on any Pajiba reviewer. It's a calculated move.

My only objection was to what I thought were jabs at Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan (both respectable films) and ranylt rewrote that to make it clear that Lions for Lambs is simply a whole movie written like the weakest five minutes of much better films.

Sheesh. I love pajiba, and I thought the review was okay. I navigated my way through it easily enough - although, admittedly, I also didn't know what "mooncalves" meant until I looked it up (though I somehow I doubt I'm in the minority here). HOWEVER, I have one major complaint. Some of the comments on this site are so self-aggrandizing that it nearly made me sick to read them. Education and love of language should be something to share - - not lord over - - the rest of the world, folks. The self-importance and grandstanding is nauseating. Honestly, it is much harder for me to stomach the "HOW could you NOT KNOW what MOONCALVES means, you BLITHERING IDIOT!" posts than a post that uses a number instead of a word.
So, three cheers to you for being well-educated(or being being more handy with a dictionary than the rest of us). Now go work on being kind - or maybe even (gasp!) humble.

Robot Monster,

I'd also like to think that unfamiliar words in and of themselves shouldn't be cause for grinning resentment and blind terror!

I loves me some RR!

i read this review yesterday before there were any comments posted. i was tempted to congratulation RR on another excellent review, but didn't, as i have an aversion to being the first poster on most forums/comment sections (don't know why). i admit i only came back and read the comments because of dustin's mention in the box-office roundup...and i'm glad i did; reading the past 100 or so posts provided an excellent diversion to my morning work. thanks, pajibans!

Hey mouth-breathers: Not having been exposed to certain words or turns of phrase is not something to proudly assert or even admit.

Hey Ranylt: I could care less about seeing this movie in the first place but I like reading the reviews here cause they tend to be smart and witty. Don't abandon the smartness just to satisfy the LCD. Good review.

i read the review. i read all the comments. i used up all my literature degree knowledge to understand it. quite frankly it's all gone a bit cocktail party wank. hurrah for smart, well read people who enjoy discourse but there's always one who wants to smack you in the face with their intellectual cock.

I must say that I LOVE pretentiousness. I wish there were more reviews that used those little phrases I so adore such as 'tabula rasa' and 'bete noir.' I don't care if it was painfully obvious that the sentence or paragraph was constructed strictly to accommodate those lovely phrases. I would have done the exact same thing. Also, I've never read such a well-written explanation of why "Crash" is annoying. It's so hard saying that to some people without them thinking you are ignorant and racist. I swear it's like "The Emperor Wears No Clothes."

Additionally, I feel like the review was purposefully grandiose so as to mock the material being reviewed.

"...there's always one who wants to smack you in the face with their intellectual cock..."
---------------------------------------------

Oh yeah, FINALLY, a credible scenario for a movie review porno scenario:

*log on to Pajiba*

*cue 70's porn music*

ACTION!

I would never watch this because I can't stand Cruise. But, still a great review, RR.
And thanks to all the commenters too.
I know what a mooncalf is because I've heard it used in conversation. Perhaps its a Canadian thing?

@chris: I'm still weeping for the untimely demise of "manoeuvre."

The attempts to assert a claim to intellectual superiority by calling this review 'delightfully ironic' (in so many words) seem desperate. I don't think this review was ironic. I don't think Ranylt was doing anything but writing in her own voice. Never fear, supporters, I'm not calling her pretentious. I found this review to be a great deal less pretentious than many of the reviews on this site. I believe I have, in general, found her comments to be insightful.
My only gripe is that I still find the reasons behind the Crash hatred to be weak and inconclusive. I have scoured this site since my arrival here months ago, looking for a valid argument, but all I ever find is "HAGGIS DIE DIE SUCK DIE KILL BLAAAAARGGGGHHHH!!!!1"
Yes, I know I am consigning myself to the everlasting fires of hell in many of your minds by even daring to question the Crash hatred, but it's about time someone did. It reminds me of this girl I knew in college, whom I was friends with, but gradually began to detest. She was nice, well-meaning, but bumbling and annoying. I mean, she wrote fan fiction for Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and made herself a character. And as I grew to dislike her, and talked about my dislike, other people began to feed off of it-- eventually she was the most reviled girl in our group, because our feelings fed off of one another in an incestual manner, creating a flipper baby of hatred. So, I genuinely disliked her ( I was far less kind then) but my other friends eventually realized that they didn't, and were simply feeding off of my dislike.
And that, after my months here at Pajiba, is what I feel happened to Crash. In fact, I think it's what happens to a lot of movies, actors, and shows here. Recently, there was even a reviewer who seemed to be bitching about the phenomenon (The Steve Carrel hate) whilst contributing to it.
Yes, I hate a film that seems overly aware of it's own meaningfulness. Yes, I hate being slapped in the face with morals. Yes, Oprah's love for anything is practically a kiss of death (if I allowed anyone's opinions to sway me, whether in liking what they like or simply, for the sake of perversity and rebellion or genuine disgust with said individual, disliking what they like) for me. But I submit that Crash just wasn't that bad.
There, I said it. Now, BarbadoSlim, have I restored myself to official outsider status? I mean in one fell swoop I have insulted some of the reviewers on Pajiba, some Pajibans, and said Crash wasn't the worst movie ever.
Uh-oh, I think I see a mob with pitchforks and torches cresting the hill.

A little late to the party (thank god), but, for all those offended by the big words in Ranylt's review or perceived pretentiousness, may I please direct your attention to the following review located here:

http://www.pajiba.com/black-book.htm

This review is not pretentious and should be more to your liking. Ranylt spends the entire review talking about another woman's boobies.

That's hawt.

A little late to the party (thank god), but, for all those offended by the big words in Ranylt's review or perceived pretentiousness, may I please direct your attention to her review of Black Book located on this site.

That review is not pretentious and should be more to your liking. Ranylt spends the entire review talking about another woman's boobies.

That's hawt.

i still have no idea what the movie is about after reading this over-written, somewhat pretentious review, and i know lots of big wordz too!

and thats ok, because i have no intention of seeing it

And I'm not normally a fan of Shpielberg's shtick, but I can find no fault in Schindler's List

i can has pajiba revyoo wroten bai lolcats?

cheezburger revyooz

The original review of Crash is instructive: it doesn't eviscerate it, but it does diagnose the most glaring problem within it:

it can be excessively earnest and didactic, and its structure is over-programmed and often predictable. Characters are introduced in scenes in which they appear to be hateful bigots and then are humanized and made empathetic, or, less often, appear at first to be kind and free of prejudice but then go on to act in ways that expose unconscious stereotyping. The ones we expect the least from prove to be capable of kindness and even heroism, while those who seem most decent may give in to rage and violence.

And then it won Best Picture over several more deserving contenders that asked much more difficult political questions with nuance and complexity. I think that's where the vitriol comes from, and I think Ranylt was referring to the creaky self-importance Jeremy pointed out when she used it as a touchstone in her review.

i can has pajiba revyoo wroten bai lolcats?

cheezburger revyooz

Amea gari, I'll remember your "flipper baby of hate" line more than anything in Ranylt's review, which I found dull, offputting, and, frankly, a slog to get through. But I must say that she DID, in fact, give a well-considered and thorough justification of her hate for Crash when she called it "windy, self-important, moronic, bungling, baroque,[sic] Oscar-bait." You may not agree with such descriptors, but you can't say she didn't give a reason for her (and many people's) opinion.

I don't think you'll be mobbed, at least I wont be part of it, and, if anything, you made yourself even more of a Pajirican with that post.

I guess the one line with a few descriptive words of Crash's inadequacy is too little too late. I mean I can call Politician H all those things, but do you really know why I think she is those things? Oops, did I say 'she'? Ahem.
I want something with more justification than a bit of name-calling. I truly would like to see where the Crash hate comes from. How was it moronic, baroque, or bungling? I mean aren't these words we could also use for The Last Samurai? I imagine they're moronic in different ways, however.
I'd actually be very happy if someone would write a new review of Crash, detailing it's inadequacies. Come on folks, with as many of you as hate it with every fiber of your beings, I am sure someone is up to the task.

To borrow a big word, this review was pedantic. I understood it, I just didn't learn much from it.

Each reviewer has their own politics, and most of the time that is entertaining. However, if a movie is listed in the title of the review, I expect enough information in the review to help me make a decision on whether it is sponge worthy. Pajiba has saved me more than once, and I am appreciative.

The commentary shows a growing schism in what is wanted from this site. Some just want to watch the reviewer beat the shit out of the latest bullflop from Hollywood, and some just want a pulpit to spew their top five of the day. Both are valid and I read them all.

However, I really don't know much about this movie from the review. I can only surmise that if I liked Crash, I guess I'll like this movie. If I didn't like Crash, I guess I won't like the movie.

I'm not asking for a detailed spoiler of the movie--frankly I like the care in which the reviews on this site are presented with regard to spoilers. However, I really don't know much about this movie from the review.

Don't lose sight of part of the goal of providing a review of a movie is to review the movie.

So amea_gari what you are saying is that in college you were one of the cool kids and you delighted in fucking somebody over? amea_gari the only thing worst than a unpretentious windbag is a pretentious windbag, and you amea_gari are a pretenious windbag of the highest caliber. You clog up this site with your important thoughts, interpretations and finally revelations....aawww fuck it I forgot what I was about to say next.

Hey, be right back, I missed your response as I was idling over mine, or else I would have addressed it in one post. But in any case, I wanted to address this part of the original review.
"Characters are introduced in scenes in which they appear to be hateful bigots and then are humanized and made empathetic, or, less often, appear at first to be kind and free of prejudice but then go on to act in ways that expose unconscious stereotyping. The ones we expect the least from prove to be capable of kindness and even heroism, while those who seem most decent may give in to rage and violence."
This comment in no way tells me why the film is bad. In fact, this is something I /liked/ about the film, because in my experience, it's the most spot on to reality. I am constantly faced with people who superficially seem to condemn racism while subscribing to it in every way. What I liked about Crash was that it seemed to highlight this rampant hypocracy and illustrate that racism that people seem incapable of acknowledging. It also put on display a facet of humanity which I feel is underappreciated-- that when push comes to shove, sometimes racism is a superficial pretense that certain people have chosen to cling to to help identify themselves, but desperate circumstances can awaken that which binds us together-- our humanity, our fundamental desire to assist one another. Racism is a stupid conceit, after all. It's ridiculous, and once examined, once a person is faced with critical decisions that cause him to question these ridiculous beliefs, he is not incapable of doing the right thing. The racist white cop saves the black woman. Perhaps some people see this as amateur heavyhandedness, or pushy, affected irony. I didn't. I simply saw a character realize that his superficially held beliefs were, after all, pretty stupid.
In life, people say stupid things, posit stupid opinions. What they /do/ has more meaning (not that I am utterly discounting that what a person says is important too).
Anyway, I didn't mean to hijack the thread. I'm still waiting on that mob.

Hey, Pookie, you're brilliant at reinterpreting comments to posses meanings which you can then attack-- I hate to tell you, however, that that's not what I said at all. I wasn't one of the cool kids. I just didn't like this girl. I didn't mean to turn anyone against her. I just didn't like her. I took no pleasure in disliking her, whatsoever.
Nor am I remotely proud of the pain I inadvertently caused her. Years later, I feel terribly guilty about it, and received my own comeuppance when precisely the same thing happened to me. In using the event as an example of how one person's dislike can taint the pool, I don't think I am exhibiting any /pride/ in what I did. On the contrary.
But, so glad you could take the time to simply launch a personal attack instead of saying something constructive or contributive. 'Cause that's not pretentious at all.

But what about "the structure is overprogrammed and predictable"? Or the many other sentences in the review that talk about form? I get that you don't agree, which, fine, but your beef seems misplaced. The entire third paragraph of Ranylt's review tells you why Crash bugs her: it purports to talk about a serious truth, but the way it does so is condescendingly loaded and the "truth" is quite obvious: racism is bad, many of us are racist without realizing it, and other, more outwardly racist people can rediscover their own humanity and trancend prejudice in times fo crisis. Many other films purporting to talk bout Serious Issues, like the majority of American war films, possess similar failings. Lions for Lambs, like these movies, is cartoonish under its veneer of professionalism, but is about propaganda instead of race.

Jeremy, since he was actually reviewing Crash, goes into more detail. Talking about the strategy of intercutting so many different stories to make its point, he writes:

While any one of these scenes could work fine on its own, the cumulative effect is awfully repetitive, and the implication that everyone in L.A. is virulently and outspokenly racist hurts Haggis' credibility. Sure, nearly everyone harbors some racial prejudice, but most of us express it a bit more subtly, if at all. Making it so overt so quickly rather than building up to it makes us feel overwhelmed and preached at.

Of course you may disagree with the substance of that assertion and feel that Crash is realistic and compelling (as Ebert does, for example), but your "Emperor's New Clothes"-ish rhetorical pose as the one lonely voice speaking truth to power and accusing these critics of failing to back up their assertions seems unfounded.

You mean like the personal attack you launched on that bitch in college? I can tell by your tone you were one of the cool kids, you did mentioned something about being in a group. The cools kids usually run in groups, like wild animals they are, devouring all that is uncool. Sorry about not being constructive or contributive.

Jeremy didn't hate Crash. Jeremy no longer writes for Pajiba. Coincidence? I think not.

Is that the sound of anti-Haggisian lockstep I hear?

Though he did co-author this, from the rundown of the Oscar ceremony that awarded it Best Picture:

Though Ang Lee got his much-deserved Best Director award, we'd be remiss if we didn't bemoan the lack of real recognition given to the year's best film, Brokeback Mountain. Sure, it was the most parodied movie of the 2005, but we believe that pop culture has given an unfair shake to Brokeback, which deserved much more than being the punch line to this year's running joke. And though we love Academy surprises, the real joke of the night was that the awards for Best Original (!) Screenplay and Best Picture went to Crash, a film that was inferior to its competition in almost every way, salvaged from total lousiness only by the efforts of a great ensemble cast.

Crash is hated because it was a mediocre movie that was treated like a masterpiece, and exemplified some of the worst aspects of Hollywood's capacity for sanctimonious self-congratulation, as well as perpetuating the career of a hacky screenwriter who went on to make movies that were even more hamfisted and hokey, like The Last Kiss.

And now I'm done. You can either read or you can't.

Pookie, why are you name calling random people you have never met and who you were ostensibly defending?
Of course it's not as if you have to worry about maintaining any credibility, but still, a bit uncalled for.

The flipper baby of hatred thing happened in my college too. My flatmates boyfriend dumped her and he ended up almost completely ostracised. But in the end we realised that actually he hadn't done anything bad at all, he didn't cheat on my flatmate or dump her for somebody else, he just broke up with her.

Hey Pookie-Bear, by calling her a bitch you just launched more of an "attack" on her than I ever did.

Because of the collective Haggis-Hate to be found scattered around Pajiba, I looked up the Crash review a few months ago and read it through. While the review was not positive, it was also not rabidly hateful. I thought it was fair, actually.
It's the collective vitriol that has come after, that I question. I truly wish to see the point of view that I am missing here, the one that justifies this refrain. I generally read movie reviews so I can see alternate opinions.
Well, whatever.
But hey, I'm not insulting or questioning anyone's ability to read or think in my quest for the answer. And since I pretty much ignore Entertainment Tonight, What Hollywood thinks and feels about itself and it's creations doesn't colour my perception of those creations so much. Crash being given undue praise doesn't much affect how I feel about the movie.
Anyway, this has the makings of a train-wreck. I wanted to hear the opinions of individuals who hate the movie. What I have read doesn't, in my mind, support the hate. Having surpassed a decent posting limit, and as I'm probably the only one who cares, I should try and drop it. Hey, it's Pajiba, I can't guarantee I'll disappear.

The flipper baby of hatred thing happened in my college too. My flatmates boyfriend dumped her and he ended up almost completely ostracised. But in the end we realised that actually he hadn't done anything bad at all, he didn't cheat on my flatmate or dump her for somebody else, he just broke up with her.

Riveting!!!

The flipper baby of hatred thing happened in my college too. My flatmates boyfriend dumped her and he ended up almost completely ostracised. But in the end we realised that actually he hadn't done anything bad at all, he didn't cheat on my flatmate or dump her for somebody else, he just broke up with her.

Riveting!!!

And in conclusion, and without a moment to spare, let's pause for a moment and think about the real victims of this disaster of a flick.

I know, I know, *dramatic pause* the folks we are ALL thinking about:

The Investors.

Pookie: For a little while, you actually acted like you knew what you were doing. Then you lost it again. Keep an eye out for it. Just wanted to let you know.

amea_gari: Wait a second, before you run off. Now, you feel that the complaints about Crash do not justify the hatred, right? Well, why not? Why should it make sense to you? Isn't it all just opinion, really? Several folks explained their feelings about it, and they felt that was sufficient. Maybe there are some who just joined in due to pack mentality (the torture porn arguments come to mind), but quite a few are genuine in their animosity.

Here is my opinion on Crash: it was stupid, lazy, and didn't even try to make the characters seem realistic as far as I can see. Where you saw genuine emotion and social commentary, I saw hollow gestures and predictability. Any storyline in it can be summed up thusly: "Ooooh, I am so evil and full of hate for you just because of your skin color, whoops something went wrong, now I am instantly different and lets be friends." Human emotion is never that simple. I felt that it was a joke and, even worse, that the teller of said joke was completely serious about it. And then said serious joke managed to get treated as a hot new thing, with buzzwords like "uncompromising", "daring", and even "groundbreaking" being thrown around. Crash was "Racism for Dummies", and was given the equivalent of a Pulitzer Prize for it. I hated the movie, and I hated myself for being suckered into seeing it by all the praise. I am not trying to support other people's hate though; I only describe my own. It is only my opinion, from my perspective. So it is a bit unreasonable to expect that it has to make sense to someone else. And if that isn't good enough explanation for you, we will simply have to agree to disagree.

Also, never, ever, EVER think you are hijacking a thread, and never apologize for it. If you wish to express yourself, then do it. Don't let fear of being run out on a rail get to you. Hell, if BarbadoSlim is still shooting his keyboard off after all the ruckus he has been involved in, you can do the same. And frankly, we need a few more calming influences here.

BarbadoSlim: Thank you for reminding us what really matters.

Everyone else: Drink up. I probably just put you in a coma.

Nobody wants you to disappear, amea_gari. Maybe the fact that not many Crash-haters responded to your plea for an explanation means that there aren't so many of them, after all. be right back did a great job explaining why the movie was seriously overrated. For people still going on about their dislike for the film it's probably just a pet peeve. We're all allowed one, aren't we?

Hey y'all? What dusti said. Best comment in this thread yet. The review wasn't too difficult for me to understand; I have a master's in English, so I certainly hope I can understand an elaborate piece of text in my own language. (PROOF! I just used a semi-colon correctly! Whoooooo!

But dear Lord, I had to force myself to read it all. Ranlyt is great, she just needs a damn editor.

Hey y'all? What dusti said. Best comment in this thread yet. The review wasn't too difficult for me to understand; I have a master's in English, so I certainly hope I can understand an elaborate piece of text in my own language. (PROOF! I just used a semi-colon correctly! Whoooooo!

And btw, I saw the movie and it wasn't that bad. Tom Cruise was perfect as the self-righteous senator. (I bet he took all the photomontages of him hugging Condi Rice and George W. home.)
At any rate, he and Meryl Streep worked great together.
It didn't do well at the box office but maybe that's because the American public is just fed up with 'the war on terrorism' being treated in Hollywood movies.

Don't go amea_gari, you're entertaining me and believe me, that is very high praise indeed.

Although I'd love to jump in on the discussion I, for one, can't argue about the merits of Crash precisely because I didn't see it. The trailers alone were enough to have me roll my eyes, declare it "overwrought, Oscar-baiting, moralistic crap" and then ask the person next to me to promise to knock me out if I ever so much as mentioned an inkling to see it. But then, it's really not my kind of movie.

I'm just commenting out of boredom really.

BarbadoSlim: you're right my man, I'm ashamed that I didn't think of it that way.

Loved the review; pretentious snark is the very bestest flavor. RR, you had me at "mooncalves". This gloriously crafted review reminds me of my could-not-be-less-pretentious cattle farmer father dismissing a film I liked as "mere snippets and vignettes". He zinged the movie and me with one comment.

RR properly savaged the movie and caused Pajib[i]an pandemonium. That's a two-fer! This is precisely why I return with anticipation to Pajibaville. (And, by the way, why does Jeremy no longer write for Pajiba?)

I have to disagree on the comma love, however. I routinely perform comma-ectomies on my students' writing. Their use rapidly descends into when all fails, drop a comma territory. The offending sentence more often than not can be (and should be) restructed to clarify the intent in a more elegant manner.

Hey BS, love that you do not take offense when others ride you. Your ability to laugh at your on-going focus on investers prompts me to call for the honorary awarding of a Series 65 Investment Advisor certificate. Would that I had the power to do so.

BAM!

Late to the game here, but I had to see what the fuss is all about. Ranylt, if that was satire then it was grand. Though, I must say most people probably come here for "scathing reviews" and aren't expecting/looking for satire. Plus, since this is a more, uh, cerebral site than most, we're used to seeing "big words" so many probably thought you had just gone overboard and missed the satire completely.




Now, if this is not satire, you really could use an editor. I'm all for "big words" but please keep your audience in mind (ahem, us "bitchy people"). We're not all English majors or Shakespearean scholars.




And to the rest of you commenters who think that the complainers are lazy, stupid "mouth-breathers" (thanks for that one, whoever that dick was) - pull your heads out of your pretentious asses. Everybody is different, and there is no accounting for taste. Not everyone enjoys having to pull out a secondary reference just to read a movie review on their lunch hour at work. That's great for you if you've got the time and the desire - but just because I don't, doesn't mean I'm a slobbering moron.




PS, as a stickler for grammar and punctuation myself, I can't believe I'm defending this, but if someone wants to use numbers or abbreviations, or even makes a typo in the comments section - who cares? Nobody's writing a thesis here, and a lot of intelligent and capable people just plain can't type well or are too tired/busy to bother. Is that such a fucking crime?

Is it a crime to be lazy and/or apathetic? Well, not in the eyes of our government, but it is considered a breach of etiquette amongst most Pajibans, and one which you will often find commentors apologizing for. There is a healthy amount of respect for the beauty and structure of the English language in the air here. You could argue that there's a fine line between worshipping the status quo, and maintaining a community standard, I suppose. But hey, if we all just did our own thing, there wouldn't be much of a community, would there?

Now Pookie don't go suggesting I'm a fascist because I said we all tend to think alike on certain things.

I'm with you, amea_gari! Actually your courage has inspired me to go further. I rather enjoyed Crash! I will even admit to owning the film - not that it was given to me as a gift, but I went out to the store and bought it.
 

That said, what I respect in any review, of literature or film, is the recognition of what affect the artist intended to have on his/her audience, and then a calibrated, however biting, reporting of its true effect. I suspect that RR was right on. Both in her reaction to the piece, and the distrust of the artists presenting moralistic backwash as a political thriller!

I do, however, think Crash is an unwise example of this. Please follow me for just a moment. While Crash certainly intends to change it's audience perspective on race, does it do so in under the cover of a stalking horse? Granted, it begins by leading us by the nose of our empathy, but was anyone fooled? No, because they didn't intend to fool us. Almost any one who has seen the film would say that the emotional high point (the audience being misled into thinking a little girl will be shot) comes about 2/3rds of the way into the film. This left many unsatisfied with the rest of the film as there was little drama remaining. So, yes, the film was didactic but that was its intent!

"the structure is overprogrammed and predictable."

Certainly, it is overprogrammed, with its parallels to a variety of Syrianas and Traffics. Predictable? I cannot think of another Hollywood feature dispensing its most cathartic moment so early in an effort to put aside emotional pull-stings and engaged the viewer's mind. Brechtian anyone?

Was it successful? For me it was, but I believe just as many liked merely as "Oscar-bait" as those who didn't for the very same reason. The vast majority, however, simply missed the emotional hand-job we are used to receiving before the lights come up.