Pajiba

"Twenty-two million people watched The Dark Knight over the weekend, and my question is: What the hell were the rest of you doing?"

This is the first I'm hearing about that movie. They should have advertised it or something . . .

I can't wait to see TDK, but this weekend was spent lounging at an uncle's lovely home with no TV, computer or movie theater. I knew Heath would still be waiting upon my return.

Am I crazy for being so Godtopusdamned giddy that The Dark Knight broke so many records?

We were sitting in other countries waiting for next weekend. ::Pout::

...or in some cases next month. Ugh.

Let's put it this way - I hate going to the movies. Can't stand it. I hate the crowds, the cell phones, the people, the noise, the whole experience. Maybe it's just my loathing for my fellow man, but crowded movie theaters give me hives.

I broke my own rule (never see a blockbuster until at least two weeks after its release) last night, and went to see The Dark Knight. Immediately afterwards I wanted to run back to the ticket line and go to the very next showing - if it hadn't been a Sunday night, I would have. It's that fucking good.

Get off your asses. You people in other countries, I don't want to hear excuses. Get on a plane. GET ON A PLANE, DAMMIT!

Well, I lay on the sofa all weekend moaning in misery from a massively painful head cold that made my skull feel as if it was about to explode. Mr. PaddyDog, on the other hand, sat on the other sofa and every ten minutes repeated this phrase: "Are you fucking kidding me? Are we really not going to see Dark Knight this weekend? I want a divorce."

A fun weekend was had by all in my household.

I'm up for that! That way, we can say, "You're almost as good as Ledger, here you go" and hand them their statue of Heath to put on their shelf to stare at and wish for just a smidgen of his talent.

Bitches.

I've seen it twice already; once on the Thursday midnight showing (along with a very large black woman running around in a slutty batman costume), and the second time yesterday.

I figure, five more showings, and I -might- not completely pee myself in glee when the Joker plops down beside Harvey's hospital bed and says, "Hiiii."

Suck it up PaddyDog. The Dark Knight is the only known cure for the head cold. Get your ass there... Now!

I don't want to hear it...I saw it Thursday night. That carried me through the entire weekend. If I didn't despise theatre crowds so much, I would have gone again. As it is, I'm gonna try to sneak down there sometime this weekend before disappearing for the weekend.

In another country...for shame! NO EXCUSES!

I am with TK. I go to the theater once a year, maybe, because I hate humanity. However, I got off my duff and went to see a 8:30 p.m. Saturday night showing. It marked the first time I have went to a theater and the crowd was silent, with no jackass on a cell phone, throughout the whole movie. It was awesome. The movie was sold out.

It was awesome. Go see it. It is well worth the money.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Are we really not going to see Dark Knight this weekend? I want a divorce."

This shouldn't have amused me as much as it did. And I completely agree with him.

On a side note, if you did not partake of the free awesomeness that was "Dr. Horrible", for shame on you.

"Apparently, the LAPD and Captain Hammer subscribe to this blog"

I loved it.

My boyfriend is out of the country right now, and I promised him I'd wait to see the Dark Knight until he gets back (two weeks and two days from today) so we can see it together. Is it bad that I'm looking forward to seeing the film nearly as much as I'm looking forward to seeing my man? Okay, not so much. But yes, really.

For the NY hatred, has to be Chicago envy. As for getting to the movie...will do so as soon as my kids will not pee themselves waiting in line.

Sooo, I just saw it for the second time today. After the first time I saw it, I wanted to run straight to the ticket line, but I waited until today.

And I never go see movies more than once, most of the time I wait until the DVD comes out, because as an above poster said, I hate people. I hate the sticky floors, I hate people who leave their rubbish all over the cinema, even though I don't have to clean it up. I hate people who talk during movies.

I'm just a bitchy person.

But, I made an exception. And I think I may need to do it just a few more times, I promise, I'll quit after that.

And the reviews I've seen so far have been positive, and because I live in Ledger's hometown, I thought they would glow all over him and forget everyone else (he does steal all his scenes, but everyone in that movie just oozed awesomeness). And then, I saw a newspaper that gave the Love Guru a higher rating than the Dark Knight, because apparently, there's too much talking in the Dark Knight, and the reviewer loved all the silly names in Love Guru!

Another thing I hate- this fucking town.

And while you're at it, take that 2006 Oscar away from Phillip Seymour Hoffman and give it to Ledger for Brokeback Mountain.

HAHAHA, yes!

Here's what I was doing this weekend:

1) seeing "Momma Mia!" with a friend for her birthday. no..for reals. quit laughing at me.

2) getting my identity stolen by some shit wads who took my wallet in Chicago last month and left me $11,000 in the hole with my bank and then must have sold my info because some douchbag nerdfuck has been using my only credit card that wasn't stolen to buy some online gaming and some shareware. So now I have no bank and no active credit cards. motherfuckers.

But the Dark Knight is in my forseeable future when I can get my hands on some cash. And in my dream of dreams, TDK will find the fuckers who are fucking me and fuck them up.

Can I go back to bed now? momma needs a xanex.

I came. I saw. I came again. Hard.

So, maybe I should go see TDK next weekend?

I waited until today's earliest matinee so I wouldn't have to deal with teenage boys and dumb parents who thought a movie about a serial killer and a sadistic vigilante would be healthy for their two year old.

Oh Jesus, Stephanie Zacharek? She's one of the critics that make me want to yell "it's your opinion, but your opinion is WRONG!". Fair? No, but I hate her. This is mainly due to Salon letting her write the review for every Wes Anderson movie when she has a limitless loathing of him. And this review seems to be saying "Christopher Nolan wants to be like Hitchcock, but he SUCKS at it". Seems like a bit of cheap gimmick to use the old comparison set-up-and-knock-down.

In the New Yorker it's usually Anthony Lane who makes me do my Lokar impression. "And YOUUU need to get OVER yourself...lovah!"

So those two definitely get my goat.

I'm bummed out that "Space Chimps" is being touted as Not Good. But we'll see, I liked the look of the promotion as well as the counter-programming chutzpah of those little guys. Who doesn't look apes?

Melody, I'm in the same exact situation as you are - except my boy gets back on Sunday. We're going straight from the airport to the IMAX theater. Thank God for small mercies...

"So, maybe I should go see TDK next weekend?"

No, Bedhead, you should go see it tonight.

Patiently waiting to see the Dark Knight because I will only see it in IMAX and it's been sold out. Why wait? Because this movie deserves only the very best.

Is it too much to ask for this movie to beat out Titanic? Bale deserves it.

I can't stand it! When a movie is bad I check my watch. I checked it three times before Dark Knight ended.

Heath Ledger was awesome but by the third (fifth?) act, I was so tired of his monologues. How many different ways could he comment on society, morality? I get it.

SPOILER BELOW -- Please be courteous, kiddies; the Pajiba staff thanks you

Biggest pet peeve:when the bad guy is so far ahead of the good guy at every step of the way. i.e. the Joker foreseeing Batman reconstructing the fragmented remains of a bullet in order to get a finger print that would lead him to an apartment where he would be drawn to a window just at the precise moment the Joker needed him to be there? Really? Yet, one single mishap and the Joker is undone. Wow. Batman is either incredibly lucky or just mostly dumb.

Batman begins is a far superior movie. I feel Indiana Jones is even better by comparison. As ludicrous as the story was at least there was a story.

I was stuck in the the wasteland that is No-Babysitter Land. Not only do I not want to show this movie to my 5 and 8 year old kids because it's not appropriate for them (nod to Lucas), but also no fun for me!

mswas- Don't worry, you weren't the only person who didn't see TDK.... I was mopping out my house all weekend after a kitchen-plumbing incident.

But I did get to see "Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog" about four times.... I want the soundtrack now, can't get it out of my head..... hope we get a Pajiba review. Fabulous. Me love Joss Whedon, want his little horrible babies.

saw it on Friday night and it was great except for in the middle of some intense scene a freaking baby started crying. And it cried through the whole thing..."hey STUPID PARENT WHO BRINGS YOUR BABY TO A MOVIE THAT IS DARK, HENCE THE TITLE DARK KNIGHT, DO YOU THINK THAT MAYBE YOUR KID IS CRYING BECAUSE IT IS AFRAID? HELLO? McFly?
Drove me crazy. But I loved it nonetheless. The thing that I loved the most about Heath's performance was that in the middle of a really crazy and suspenseful scene the joker would crack a joke and it would make me laugh and then I would feel guilty for laughing. It was diabolical and awesome. The only thing that I didn't like was when Batman spoke. I realize that he is trying to disguise his voice but I really really noticed it this time and not that much in Batman Begins. It kind of made me giggle after a while...like the joker.

"So, maybe I should go see TDK next weekend?"

Why aren't you there right now?

wsapnin...I'm so sorry. A friend of mine had to go through that shit a few years back, and he's still having to keep telling people that it wasn't him and his credit is slowly recovering. If it makes you feel better, TDK will make it all go away.

So, I was the one who got my husband and I tickets for Saturday night at 9:30. I just couldn't wait-I didn't want to be spoiled. It was Northern Virginia madness at its best-we trolled around 15 minutes for a parking space, took a break to Wegman's so I could pee, and drove around for another 10 minutes before we got a spot. We waited in line with all the tweeners and watched as the poor ticket taker at the door of the theater finally threw up his hands and backed out of the way. We got fantastic seats.We watched all the previews with the lights on for late stragglers.

But as soon as the lights went down, you could have heard a pin drop. I have never heard a theater so quiet and it stayed that way the entire time. It was awesome. My husband (who was supremely cranky and declared himself too old for this shit) said on the way out "I'm so glad we did that." YAY!!

re: Duane - Whether or not Batman was in the window is entirely inconsequential. The Joker didn't plan for Batman to be there at all. The point of that whole device was simply to create a distraction for the police. Batman was neither intended or required to be there.

Also, damn this movie for reducing me to a sniveling fanboy who feels the need to defend it at every turn. son of a bitch.

Dude, every bod and their dog is aware of the awesomeness that is The Dark Knight. Even my cousin's unborn child knows of how fucking great it is. Now can you please give some more love to Dr. Horrible and how Joss Whedon is one hell of a magnificent bastard?

A W E S O M E...

*****SPOILER*****
Favorite scene, hands down - the hospital. It made it even creepier that it was done in broad daylight.
*****END SPOILER*****

As far as Batman goes, somebody needs to give that sumbitch a honey-lemon throat soother. There were a couple spots near the end of the flick where I couldn't understand what the hell he was saying. You've got a butler, Mr. Wayne - have him make you a CUP OF GODDAMED TEA!

True, Skittiums. It is a wee, tiny criticism, but if one is to be made, the "Bat-voice" was kind of overdone.

Other than that, I wanted to take the movie home and spoon with it.

This movie going experience turned my boyfriend and I into raging assholes and I loved every second of it. If there had been small children around we might be in jail. I went to a ten thirty showing on Friday night. I literally had to play the "hold me back!" mediator between the ticket-taker who wouldn't let us line up before nine and my boyfriend who gladly would have stiff-palmed the bitch into seeing it his way(or nothing at all). Once in line, we proceeded to openly mock the line cutters who thought they were sooo stealthy until five minutes before we were let in and they realized that they were in the wrong lines. Inside of the movie, I whispered to an elderly couple, who easily could've been my grandparents, to "Shut up or you'll get the pencil trick!", when they kept talking during the movie. I would gladly do it all again for this movie and plan to.

I fucking loved, loved, loved TDK.

I can't really say anymore than that, or I'll lose my shit and go get the bat signal tattooed on my neck like my friend's fanboy brother Shawn.

I'm incredibly glad that I saw this at midnight on Thursday since I spent the rest of the weekend at family oriented activity at a place that didn't even have televisions, never mind a movie theater.

Next up? IMAX. I don't care how far I have to drive, it's going to happen.

Also, can I poll the Pajibans on the part of my 12 year old sister? She desperately wants to see the movie, my brother and I both think she needs to wait for the DVD, my mom says she can see it in the theater if mom goes with her. Anyone else want to weigh in.

Genny: i think that

SPOILER:

Two Face and the joker alone would give her nightmares

END SPOILER

But it depends on her mental stability...would've freaked me out at 12.

I'd like to think that this huge opening is our way of thanking everyone involved with TDK for purging batsuit nipples, ice puns, and Jim Carrey from the Batman franchise.

...pee myself in glee when the Joker plops down beside Harvey's hospital bed and says, "Hiiii."

Yes! Yes! That scene completely sold me on Ledger's performance. I don't know if I've ever bought anyone as a character so wholly as I bought him as the Joker. Especially one that has been played - and played well - in the past.

GaR - I'd say 12 is the minimum age for seeing this film. And maybe a mature 12 at that.

What you need to do, Genny, is impress on her how scary and terrifying it is, and forbid her from going. Then one day, while you two are out driving, maybe doing girl stuff, you casually suggest you really want to see it again. When she gets excited, you frown and say, alright, you can come, but you cannot tell mom I let you see it. She'll agree wholeheartedly.

She'll be terrified and/or so excited she'll experience her first womanly urges...and when the nightmares come later..she can't tell anyone because she and you will get in trouble! It's foolproof!

Damn...I shouldn't raise kids, should I?

"You've got a butler, Mr. Wayne - have him make you a CUP OF GODDAMED TEA!"

There was one point where I thought, "I bet Christian Bale had a bad cold when they filmed this scene." Because Batman didn't just have his raspy disguised voice, he appeared to be breathing through his mouth while talking.

But Bruce Wayne probably was drinking the tea. How else could he get back to his Bruce Wayne voice?

Yes, Skitt and TK, I was having that same problem with the Bat-voice. It was like in Casino Royale, when the constant Blue Steel looks took away from an otherwise great performance. I kept thinking that as Batman, he should speak no more than ten words in a scene, otherwise he sounds like he's got a nasty sinus infection. It worked in the first because he had little actual dialogue when he was in the suit.

My other wee nitpick (and they may be going somewhere with this, but I couldnt tell) was why Scarecrow was in the first scene at all? They never came back to it, he could have been any minor bad guy, and he never appeared again. Why?

Oh, and where's #6? No Pajiba love for #6?

Hey, _I_ also almost jumped right back into line to see TDK again after I saw it on Friday morning (yes, I'm one of those unemployed loosers at the momnent. Thanks very much, Dustin). The only reasons I haven't seen it again yet are that the crowds are just too big right now and that my wife keeps nagging me about how much of a waste of money that would be right now (and, being unemployed until the fall, I'm inclined to agree with her...but I'm still tempted, damnit!).

My other wee nitpick (and they may be going somewhere with this, but I couldnt tell) was why Scarecrow was in the first scene at all? They never came back to it, he could have been any minor bad guy, and he never appeared again. Why?

To show continuity. And to show that, unlike the previous films, Batman doesn't kill his rogues gallery, they do come back. Even if it's only minor, they are always around. It's like they said and/or implied in the movie...there aren't small time criminals anymore. Even the major villians become background.

Anyone hear anything in regards to what might have happened to the Joker? I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess they shipped his ass off to Arkham...? Yeah?

Goddam, this is a good flick. I might go see it again tonight.

My guess would be Arkham.

Did everyone else get previews for the new Bond movie and T4?

Daniel Craig shirtless again? Sign me up for the new Bond movie. It was awesome.

I'm officially throwing a 'Ledgers Watching Party' in the spring.

In the interim, once the DVD is out I'll be having a TDK watch party in my apartment every Tuesday night.

I'm a rookie here people, so I don't know if mocking the 'jiban advertisers is kosher, but doesn't Heath's performance in TDK make these "Who is the Best Joker" ad banners seem pretty fucking laughable?

Saw it yesterday and am going again today.

I kid you not.

Cannot remember the last time I loved a film so much I turned around and saw it again the very next day; might have been 28 years ago, at age 12, to see...

oh, god. I can't even believe I'm about to admit this...

Xanadu.

Yes, I was 12 and I was an asshole.

In my defence, I also loved Ordinary People, Private Benjamin and Airplane that year. I was not COMPLETELY lacking in taste. Or judgement -- Xanadu ticket stubs notwithstanding.

I guess it was the rollerskate/legwarmers combo that hooked me on Xanadu -- because I TOTALLY had the actor (what WAS that poor man's name?) nailed as shit.

I hate you people. I hate everyone who is not the parent of a 10 year old girl too squeamish to watch a loud action movie and got to see The Dark Knight this weekend. We could have gone to see this if anyone had stepped up to the plate and offered to take the girl to Libby Lou or something. Let it be on your heads.

Hate.

"To show continuity. And to show that, unlike the previous films, Batman doesn't kill his rogues gallery, they do come back. Even if it's only minor, they are always around."

I also liked the fact that it showed that the Scarecrow is really creepy, but not all that effective when he's supposed to be the actual ringleader. Without Raz al Ghul, he's just kind of a loser.

"Cannot remember the last time I loved a film so much I turned around and saw it again the very next day."

I can. 1989. Batman. Weird, huh.

2. Mamma Mia ($27 million): Ugh. But Amanda Seyfried sure is pretty, ain't she?

First you talk (unfounded, unreasonable [IMO])shit about SatC and now (predictably) Mamma Mia!

Predictability 1, DR 0

Baaaa! Baaaa! The other sheep are waiting for you...

On a side note, if you did not partake of the free awesomeness that was "Dr. Horrible", for shame on you.

Am I the only one who practically leapt for joy at Penny's fate?

"Posted by: RoboPanda at July 21, 2008 9:52 AM"

A robo panda would probably be safer around these parts than a regular panda. Just sayin.

Oh, come on boogs. Can you blame Dustin, let alone the whole world (or at least the parts that got to see TDK), for talking about The Dark Knight and not anything else? The film broke MULTIPLE records. And it didn't suck. Can you say either of those things about Mamma Mia?

I remember driving back from the theater and getting into an argument about who the next villain would be. She insisted it would be the Joker. I said that anyone with a shred of a soul would never try to recast a role that Ledger friggin' owned. She suggested Clayface, which I said was stupid because it was too close to the Sandman. The she suggested Halle Berry reprising the Catwoman role.

Was I ashamed to have elbowed her in the throat and shove her out of my car while going 40 mph? Yes. Will I still call her my Grandmother? Only time will tell...

"And I never go see movies more than once, most of the time I wait until the DVD comes out, because as an above poster said, I hate people. I hate the sticky floors, I hate people who leave their rubbish all over the cinema, even though I don't have to clean it up. I hate people who talk during movies.
Posted by: Bakers_dozen at July 21, 2008 10:26 AM"

I feel that exact same way! We should go see something together. We could try to watch the movie while swearing under our breath at the noisy philistines, and even get into a slap fight when we eventually piss each other off too.

For all the people that waited to see The Dark Knight because they were saddled with children: Thank you!

We had a kid in the theater that made airplane noises for about 5 minutes before the parents were finally shamed into leaving (far too late, in my opinion). Rule: If your kid cannot sit quietly for two and a half hours, they are not old enough to go to a movie that is not rated G or PG. I don't care if they can pronounce the name of the character (we were also treated to "Why is Batman doing that? Where is Batman?") or if they aren't bothered by the scariness. It's selfish, rude, and ruins the movie for everyone else who just paid $10 for a ticket.

A robo panda would probably be safer around these parts than a regular panda. Just sayin.

No, Loob, it wouldn't. Oh, that giant pile of bamboo? I have no idea where that came from.

Kolby

I don't blame him for talking about TDK (I'm sure it will be brilliant and am so jealous that pretty much all of my friends have seen it and I still haven't [my one month old will not allow me to leave him home alone, depsite my trying to reason with his tiny brain - and I refuse to see it without the wife]).

People hating on Mamma Mia! by virtue of what it is (a musical! Oh no! and a musical about ABBA! Double on no!!) instead of the quality of the film itself just peels my tangerines, though!

Shadows: Thanks for the love. mr.wsapnin & I just made plans to take the peeps to the IMAX on Wed. Can't wait.

Couldn't face the crowds this weekend, hope to catch it on a weeknight soon--I figure less crowds this way.

Nice to know that the Main Squeeze and I could do our part to keep Hellboy in the top ten.

Heeehee!

I took the family to see it and was less than impressed. When I was growing up, the Joker was a clown prince, not a homicidal sociopathic menace. We had to leave the theater because our eight year-old had spent the better part of twenty minutes with his hands over his face. It's unfortunate how we can go to WalMart to purchase him the action figures, but he can't actually watch it due to the unnecessary violence. Also, what the heck happened to Robin? Hello? Batman and Robin? I seriously hope that the next film shows how Bruce Wayne takes Dick Grayson under his wing and teaches him how to fight crime (and we get to see some more of those high-tech bat-gadgets!). At least we were lucky enough to find that Space Chimps still had seating available! I wouldn't be surprised if that film surpasses Wall-E as the summer's animated blockbuster!

Sweet Christ, Conrad... I've never felt hate like this before. You've shoveled a full load of loathing into my internal hate chamber, and there's nothing short of punching you in the face while dressed in full batman attire that's gonna cool these flames... What time do you get home tonight?

Conrad, I have a feeling your comment is going to be the funniest thing I read all day!

But I'm surprised you didn't learn this lesson during Batman Returns when I said that if your wife didn't take your running, screaming toddler out of the theater, I would. Or didn't she mention that to you?

as for the goodness of the dark knight, you silly bastards better be right. the last time i felt true joy at a movie was when my stepfather took me to see the newly released Raiders of the Lost Arc. he told me that it was a documentary about Noah's boat. imagine going from that level of expectation to that level of mind-blownage happy. i don't know if this movie can live up to this hype.

"Twenty-two million people watched The Dark Knight over the weekend, and my question is: What the hell were the rest of you doing?"

Watching Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog over and over and over. Damn, those songs are catchy. The ending really caught me off-guard. It wasn't what I thought would happen, but it was perfect.

"These are not the hammer . . ." hehehehe

I'm with you, BWeaves--that was one unexpected ending! Not quite sure how I felt about it.

Glad we got to see Bad Horse, though!

Dark Knight was a reigious experience in IMAX. It lived up to the hype and then some. The only thing better is watching the Watchmen trailer right before it, in glorious IMAX resolution. Sweet baby jesus.

And Mamma Mia was shit...I have the mental scars to prove it.

brad..it does. And surpasses it. I had a cheese-eating grin on my face the entire move. I'm in love with this movie. I'd have this movie's babies if I could.

Conrad...you are declaring yourself an enemy of the state. I am now volunteering my services to beat a modicum of sense into you.

Hey Conrad! Why don't you let Wal-Mart raise your kid? I actually do sympathize with you. A parent should be able to replace common sense, hard work and giving a shit with "I'll buy the little bastard a bunch of crap that a mega-corporation is hawking for enourmous profit because they have my kids best interests at heart". I assume you can read? Why didn't you read a review douchebag? Wait, I know why, because you are bullshitting. You wanted to see the movie, but are stuck with the poor bastard you drunkenly created and thought "Fuck him, Fuck everyone else trying to watch the movie I want to see it now."
Asshole.

Oy, vey.

Just a word to anyone out there who may be thinking of seeing this in IMAX, that is a LOT of action to try and follow on a screen that big. If you get motion sickness, you might want to rethink. That's not to say seeing Christian Bale's leather and rubber clad deliciousness on a really big screen is a bad thing, but the last thing I wanted to think about was throwing up on him...I mean, unless he's into that.

Just to add to the 'crowded theater bitch fest' that i have been enjoying. As annoying as the cellphone talker and the crying baby in a violent movie are, the texters are just as bad. Especially in a crowded theater and i'm sitting near the back. I'm fully enveloped in the reality of the movie and then i'm jerked from my experience by little flashing christmas lights all over the stadium seating by a bunch 16 year old douches who can't stop flirting for 2 hours and enjoy one of the better movies in years. Just because it doesn't make noise, doesn't mean it's not irritating.

Oh snap Skitt, you best put your boy in check. Connie come get your man!

You know how there's a kid-handoff at amusement parks for adults who want to ride the roller coasters? There should be something like that in movie theaters. One set of parents gets to go see TDK in peace while the other set takes the kids to the arcade or something. Then they switch off. Everyone's happy.

Hey ain't my boy, jM - just an idiot I happen to be cousins with. A cousin who thought Batman Forever was "taking comic book movies to a whole new level".

Damnit. Sorry y'all.

Listen. I get that a lot of people hate ABBA. I understand. I get that Mamma Mia was fucked from its start as a stage show because not only was it a jukebox musical (and the one that popularized the term in the theater community), but an ABBA jukebox musical. With spandex. And a sub-soap opera plot on the believablity scale. Viva Lauglin felt natural compared to some of the ridiculous conceits of Mamma Mia. I get it.

But God damn it, the film was fun. It's a campy, over the top musical used as an excuse to show off hot young people in next to nothing and ABBA music. It accomplished what it was set out to do. I didn't think I could sink lower than the From Justin to Kelly post, but I might just have to. Might.

Oh, and I posted this in the TDK thread, but for those of you unwilling to scroll that much -- and in case you give a shit what I have to say about The Dark Knight:

The Dark Knight: It's All True

A cousin who thought Batman Forever was "taking comic book movies to a whole new level".

I feel your pain, Skitt. I have a cousin who likes Clay Aiken. I believe she was adopted. I have brass knuckles if you them.

Conrad, buddy, it's a good thing your last name is being withheld--you might want to look into the Sarcastic Font movement.

*ahem* You are being sarcastic, right?

Conrad,

I hope you're one of those sarcastic posters. In case you're not, here's some useful advice: they stick these really cool things on movies called "ratings." Not only do those include age guidelines (ie, PG-13), they will describe the aspects of the film that should put parents on guard (ie, for The Dark Knight, "intense sequences of violence and some menace"). If that's not enough of a clue that this movie might be too scary for an 8-year-old, IMDB usually has a parent guide section that will tell you exactly what the movie contains. Or, you could read a movie review. Or, you could get a sitter, go see the movie with adults, and then decide to take your eight year old to a PG-13 movie. It's really not that hard.

Wsapin, if I could send you a pair of ticket to The Dark Knight, I would.

I wish you the best in catching the bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.

Skittiums, look what you've done. This is even crueler than my "Dark Knight review goes up in an hour" thing last week.

Are Skittiums the new candy that will give you multiple personality disorder?

Do you want to tell them? Should we?
Nah.
I'll be in the corner, covering my mouth and snorting with giggles.

Yeah, me too.

I am so gonna beat Conrad's ass later though.

Wow. I uh... What have I done?

[...cue lights...]

I started a joke, which started the whole world crying,but I didn't see that the joke was on me, oh no.
I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing,
oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.
I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
and I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said.

I hate you Conrad... I've always hated you.

I'm with you, BWeaves--that was one unexpected ending! Not quite sure how I felt about it.

Not if you're familiar with anything else Whedon has ever done.

Joss Whedon is my abusive boyfriend. : * (

Joss Whedon is my abusive boyfriend. : * (

BWAH!

DK was a well-done movie, but I could not get over two things 1.) Christian Bale's growly-Batman voice was kind of cartoonish to me and 2.) an inability to wrap the damn thing up.

Good movie, but did it drag on? Hell, yes. A little bit of tighter editing would have been appreciated.

Oh, Conrad is real...I have heard this exact argument used by parents/douchebags. My rage is directed at the people who actually use this as a parent loop-hole, and they are in abundance. Like the ass-wipe who brought their kid to the 10 showing I went to. I am sure they thought their kid would sleep through the whole thing. Except it didn't. And the morons who subject their kids to Space Chimps...Shit man I'm getting chest pains.

I'm fully aware that I may look foolish if I'm wrong but COME ON! There's no way Conrad is real. This has to be sarcasm at its finest. (In fact sarchasm may be a more appropriate term, defined as "the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and those who don't get it.")

Yeah. HTML fucked up. Again.

I am so ridiculously excited that Dark Knight is tearing little stupid manboy Spiderman's records to bits and pieces. In my mind there's a picture of Christian Bale beating the crap out of Tobey Maguire; blindfolded and one arm tied behind his back (or both, he would only need like, his knee) while Maguire cries on the floor and promises to never pretend to be a superhero again. You are Bale's bitch! .

Oh, wow. Why am I so violent today? I swear, I'm not usually like this but....OH YEAH BABY KICK HIS ASS!

So close, Boogs.

I have to agree with the Dr Horrible thoughts. I was so happy the first 2 acts and singing along and enjoyed it and then I was like HUH? (Yes I am eloquent.) I mean, it was what he wanted from the begining and he really couldn't have had both things. One dream had to die (see how vague I am being.) But it was awesome that Bad Horse was a real horse. I wish he would have spoke...

TK,

Show off.

Hold your chin up, boogs, at least you're not on TK's list. Yet.

boogs- it is my sincere belief that Conrad is/was made up by Skit to present hilarious (though often frightfully real) perspectives. My favorite part is how he'll post as Conrad, and then immediately post a hate- and violence-filled message in response to Conrad. Skit's boundless creativity is why I love reading his comments and admire his Pajiba-related designs.

Oh, and TK, I love "Skittiums"; it's a fabulous term of endearment.

Good guess, twig, I was a Whedon virgin until Dr. Horrible. Lordy, if that's what I have to expect, I'm not sure my emotions could handle any more. Abusive indeed!

I too, believe Conrad is merely Skittiums' alternate real life identity, tamatha. There's far too much hate for it to be otherwise....even Ben doesn't inspire that level of vitriol. However, in the interest of keeping him sane in the Pajiverse, I'm more than willing to start hating Conrad as a separate entity all on my own.

And if you're real, Conrad, I am sorry your mother raised you to be a douche.

i'm sad that my beloved Pajiba is joining the feverishly crazed DARK KNIGHT MAFIA. I liked the movie but the heavens didn't part while I was watching it, Jesus did not return, Heath Ledger's best performance will still always be Brokeback Mountain (where he had an actual you know, character arc to play and a lot more time in which to develop the character) and Michelle Pfeiffer still gave the best performance ever in a Batman movie. That said my Heath (who i loved before he died bitches) was awesome as the Joker.

but in this bizarre 'THE DARK KNIGHT is the greatest movie of all time!' climate it's apparently fighting words just to imply that you only liked the movie and don't plan on building shrines to it... or even thinking about it all that much once you see a better movie (presumably in the fall ;)

so long story short (too late) I'm with the brave folks who are willing to say "what's the big deal people? calm down!"

the saddest part of the frenzy is that everywhere in the blogosphere people are attempting to shred every previous batman film to bits as if that will magically make Chris Nolan god of the cinema. If all other Batman films were shit, why did these same people give the other batman movies millions of their dollars at the box office?

p.s. sorry for the brain vomiting.

p.s. 2 Other topic: LOVE DR. HORRIBLE! LOVE IT.

not to mention Salon.com (huh?)

It's Stephanie Zacharek. The woman gave both Dark Knight AND Iron Man a thumbs down, then gave bennies to You Can't Stop The Zohan. I believe I have said enough right there.

Shhhh! Skit might hear you. This could be worse than when Elmer looks down in Looney Tunes or the end of Identity.

This could be worse than when Elmer looks down in Looney Tunes

This is why you're awesome, jM. That made me snort. Godtopus bless you.

Since I have to wait until this weekend to see TDK, I'll have to comment on Dr. Horrible.

I really liked Dr. Horrible. I ended up purchasing it on iTunes, just so I could listen to the songs. I thought NPH and Nathan Fallon did a great job. And that the final act ended as it should have, because "everything happens."

While it might make some shred of sense that Jeremy has "conjured" me up to fuel his hatred/ego, I can assure you that I'm as real as everyone else (except for Spam!). I'm voicing my opinion here. That's all. So if everyone wants to turn on somebody (i.e. me) that doesn't "agree" with "how amazing" this film is, so be it. Sad, though. I thought my disagreement would result in debate rather than offers to "beat a modicum of sense" into this "douchebag asshole". I stand by my comments.

P.S. Jeremy, you need to pick up Wendell's sling. You left it here last time you "cat-sat" (i.e. getting drunk/passing out in my house while watching Hagar - or more appropriately, locking him in the garage until we got back.)

Having read her articles, I can only assume that Stephanie Zacharek is a Goodwill Ambassador for Israeli Special Forces and/or the Greek Tourist Board.
I'm hoping Stephanie isn't her real name.
*sulks*

Wow, were you trying to hit a quote mark quota for the day? Jesus, I could almost hear you making air-quotes as I read the damned thing.

"Twat".

...Michelle Pfeiffer still gave the best performance ever in a Batman movie...

I'm not wearing my glasses today. Will someone please tell me I just didn't read this?

Good point jM! I take it all back. Conrad is real; pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

And Shadows, who doesn't hate Conrad? He says the stupidest things. Just gets one all riled up.

Lordy, if that's what I have to expect, I'm not sure my emotions could handle any more. Abusive indeed!

You might wish to stay away.

If you like a Joss Whedon character that character WILL DIE.

If you like a Joss Whedon character in a relationship, that significant other WILL DIE.

If you enjoy the witty banter and skilled storytelling of a Joss Whedon show you will learn to flinch and cower often, and cover your vulnerable parts near the season finales.

About Conrad and the "sarchasm." If you'd grown up in my hometown, you would totally believe that such a person exists. In fact, you'd have eaten in an Applebees full of Conrads at least once a week. You would have seen them at the grocery, at Wal-Mart (indeed), at the local movie theater, and the skanky bowling alley. Conrads would be the future of 98% of your high school. Granted, a Conrad posting on Pajiba is a stretch, but there are enough of them out there that it's not unfathomable that one would stumble onto this site. So, I'll do a little happy dance whenever somebody comes up with a sarcasm font to bridge the apparent cultural gap.

Roxanne: "Oh, ho, ho, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a high priority."

I have to explain better. I know Conrad is not real real. He is real in the sense, that we all know or are related to some douchebag who thinks exactly like Conrad. That's why I was raging and hating. The definitive proof that Conrad is, well a con, was him saying they had to leave the movie because the kid was scared. Parents that dumb would never leave, even to the point where the kid pisses it's pants or shits.

I haven't seen TDK because EVERY show, at every theatre in Austin was sold out before I could get there. I'm not kidding. But I plan on seeing it night during this week. Alamo has a special Dark Night menu!! So . . . double trouble.

Also, Dr. Horrible is completely awesome and I was singing the songs all weekend, especially the one from the beginning of Act II and then I was quoting it. "Sometimes there's an even deeper, third layer that's just like the first . . . like pie."
Brilliant. And for the first time ever, I paid to download something. Instead of, um, never downloading anything ever before in my life? Yeah. Thank you, Joss. You and iTunes just got $6 off of me for being awesome.

Two things I realized after the second viewing today (this time in IMAX): I'd forgotten reading Anthony Michael Hall had a small role months ago, and there he was looking right at me. I had to see him gigantic to figure it out? Also, the alternate Pajiba-appropriate title of the Dark Knight review could be "A Talking Like This Contest".

I started a joke, which started the whole world crying

And I'd rather watch a Bee Gees jukebox musical than ABBA. But people unhappy that "Mamma Mia" is being unfairly dismissed, get in line behind "Speed Racer", punks! You've already had a better opening weekend. I had perfect seats both times at the IMAX theater cause there were like ten fucking people there. I shall respect no complaints of "but it's fun!" regarding other movies after that. You people crucified the Racer family and you voted for Hubert Humphrey!

Jay, I'm going to IMAX for the first time ever. Where are the good seats?

Not down in front, jM! You sit down in front, and you'll stagger out of there googly-eyed, crippled and retarded! You wanna be in the middle, up toward the back, high enough that you don't have to crane your neck like you're examining God's nostrils for hidden treasure. You also need to be at a safe enough distance to preserve the functional integrity of your corneas. I'm serious, dude, you get too close and it'll fuck you up. I once sat in the front row at an IMAX screening of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and I think it broke me.

Fire Island.

Where are the good seats?

If it's a stadium seating setup you want to go high. It's more a vertical setup than horizontal, very steep and the screen's pretty close. Regal's seats have very high backs so if you have to look up you have to scrunch your neck down. If it's a Regal you're going to it's that much more important to be early (see note below) and get up at least to the middle of the screen, if not the upper third. Going too far left or right isn't as much of a viewing problem. You're a little further back up there, but more importantly you can look forward or down rather than up. Those helicopter cityscape shots look amazing, like being back in the old OMNI immersion movies. Enjoy!!

And also, for IMAX attendees: if you're going to buy concessions then go buy them first, but do not SAVE FIVE FUCKING SEATS FOR THE PEOPLE OUTSIDE IN LINE SO I CAN SCALE THOSE STEEP STEPS JUST TO HAVE YOU WAVE ME OFF. It's not my fault for not being early if you're cheating. FOOKERS!

For people out in the concession line: you do not need to have five children, let alone bring them here. Calm down, breeders!

Thanks for the warning, Sarina and Jay. I had to sit close to the screen in a regular theater when I went to see The Bourne Supremacy and I think I had a seizure. For a week, the fastest visuals I could take were from Masterpiece Theater. Experiencing that in IMAX may kill me. Now I know ahead of time that I'll need to throw some bows to snag a middle/back seat.

Jay, you crack me up every time.

I'm sooo incredibly jealous...I wish we had an IMAX around here. I"m gonna go see it again this week, but in a normal theatre.

What is it with Conrad? He doesn't like The Dark Knight. Hasn't seen the Dark Crystal if I recall. Does he just not like movies with the word Dark in the title?

"What is it with Conrad? He doesn't like The Dark Knight. Hasn't seen the Dark Crystal if I recall. Does he just not like movies with the word Dark in the title?"

I don't know about that. I remember he once said he was a big fan of Darkness Falls because he thought it was cinematic genius, and it moved him to tears. Plus, he always says Alone in the Dark is one of his favourite movies. He loves Tara Reid, of course, because she reminds him so much of his beloved Connie.

You know how there's a special relative in every family? The one who runs around wearing random household objects on their head and tends to be found in odd places with no trousers, eating paper and yelling at their shoe? Well, everybody always thinks the special person in the Skits family is Minimus, but here's a little secret: it's totally Conrad.

Thanks for the background Sarina. I wasn't aware that Conrad had so much backstory. All I can recall is, he had a pet named Fizzgig and something unfortunate happened to it. Said unfortunate event may or may not have been the fault of Skittimus... Tara Reid... Huh!?!

I saw it today...I swear, when I saw the Joker, I couldn't even recognize Heath Ledger whatsoever. The voice, the look...everything was completely done so, so well. I don't believe that a comic book movie has ever (has it?) made it to be Oscar-worthy, but if Ledger doesn't get a nomination...God, will he get cheated. Who cares that he is no longer here with us? He fuckin' deserves it over any other actor of any other movie playing, that has played already, or is even in the process of being made. Ledger was such a phenomenal actor...man, he will be strongly missed.

...and if any dick studio exec even tries to substitute anyone over Ledger's Joker...I don't think I'm alone when I say we go over there and give them one hell of an argument...and by argument, I mean use arson.

SPOILER!!!!

One thing: thankfulness in abundance for killing off Rachel's character! I mean...I know in no way do I have any right to say who is better and who is not...but damn, Maggie G. was kinda painful to look at...especially since this is supposed to be the love interest for Bale! I'm not gay (not that I know of anyway...and I have a girlfriend of four years! Isn't that sad?), but fuck...c'mon, Bale!!! I mean, Katie Holmes wasn't all that hot when it came to acting, but Maggie G. was just...well, I was just kinda indifferent when I saw her on the screen. Even more so, that she was playing the same character.

END SPOILER

I know that kinda thing happens often, but it just gets to me a lot when an actor/actress who plays a certain character is replaced for another actor/actress. Even if they made her a different love interest, I would've been fine with that. Oh well...still didn't take away from the epic-ness of the film.

And my brother was txting at some points during the film!! My phone vibrated, and I didn't even think twice about answering it...I thought very heavily about grabbing his phone and smashing it on the floor, but that would require me losing roughly 28 seconds of TDK. Damn if I let that happen.

Sorry that I made this long, but just a great film. It deserves everything golden.

...and much hate for those people who called it "overly twisted and sadistic." God, I hate you Conrad, because whether you are pulling a fast one on us or not...you still implied that you didn't like it. You should be sterilized before any more of your bad taste seeps out into the world.

For those of you wondering about the next villian, I heard three titillating (tee hee) rumors. The First (And most likely): Catwoman- Morgan Freeman actually says, "It'll definately protect against cats"
The Second (Perhaps just a beautiful dream): David Tennant (Squee!) as the Riddler.
The Third (Which I heard entirely off-hand and may have just willed to be true): Bob Hoskins as the Penguin.

Boy, it's a good thing all of you in here agree with each other 99 percent of the time over 99 percent of what is said. If the response to Conrad is any indication of what this place would be like with an actual mixture of opinions, and toleration thereof of said opinions, you all would have cannibalized yourselves long ago in a flame war of epic proportions, what with the zombie hordes and murder tanks and panda raping and all. (And this site would instead be called the IMDB2...)

The gist of what Conrad said: TDK was far darker than I expected. It was in fact not suitable for kids under 10. That is too bad, as every Batman product and movie EVER MADE are suitable for kids under 10, as are the toys marketed towards said 8 year olds who can't actually see the movie because it is too dark.

What everyone heard: TDK sucked balls because it was too dark, and I, being an inconsiderate ass, deliberately decided to fuck up everyone else's day by taking my spoiled kid to see a movie which is OBVIOUSLY too dark for his pansy-ass. Heath Ledger sucks. Oh, and I shop at Wal-mart, so fuck off.

P.S.

After seeing it for a second time I stand by my conclusion that Gyllenhaal was a step down from Katie Holmes. I am not implying that Holmes is a better actress, but given the small roll, few lines and little to work with that the character was, Gyllenhaal did no better than who she replaced.

And she is definitely not as appealing to the eye.

Holmes: 1
Gyllenhaal: 0

Suck it.

Hey Some Guy, clean the fat outta your ears.

Yes, the previous Batman films were suitable for kids because, quite frankly, filmmakers really had no way to target a film of this category (i.e., comic book adaptation) to an adult audience. As it was stated in the review of TDK, Tim Burton never put the proper subject matter of what Batman was truly about into the first two Batman films, and because of this, things were flimsy, and that is what allowed the horrendous pieces of celluloid crap that was Batman & Robin, and Batman Forever, the two worst ones in my opinion (especially "Forever" with all of Mr. Freeze's fuckin' one-liners.)

If you really didn't know, jackass, Batman is one of the more darker comics out there.

Christopher Nolan respected this, and actually showed the apporpriate way to present a Batman flick.

And excuse me, Mr. Wal-Mart (for whatever you made you throw that piece of truth in there), but if "Batman Begins" was any indication, people might've realized that any following Batman flicks (at least, with the good fortune of having the caption 'Directed by Christopher Nolan' on it) would no longer be that kiddy stuff from the poor past. And it's just as someone else (sorry, I couldn't find your name and give you credit) already stated: there is something called 'film ratings.' You should look into it, and see if you should take your kid to it.

Shut your face before you go and mouth off. Sweet Lord, when you were watching "Wall-E" (or that fuckin' Chimptastic...oh god, forgive me) "Space Chimps" movie, and you realized they were showing no Batman trailers before the actual movie started, did you maybe think, "SAY! maybe it isn't suitable for kids after all, huh?"

I'm sorry, but if you watched the trailers (or read a frickin' review), you might've noticed that it's kinda dark...hell, it's even in the name!

And just the fact that you said Ledger sucked makes me hate you even more. I hope you choke on your own bile, you bastard.

On an unrelated note: Is there really such a thing as a "clown prince"? I re-read Conrad's posting, and wow...I really hope he was joking. He can't possibly be serious with all that he said, can he? Especially when he said that "Space Chimps" would surpass "Wall-E".

And stop stealing what I already said, Some Guy.

I already made that statement about Katie Holmes and Maggie G.

You suck it, and twice as hard. Inhale that bag of baby dicks, asshat.

The hook was baited and he got a bite.

Also, anyone unsure of whether Conrad is joking or not should really go back through some previous posts and observe how quickly the vitriol between Skittimus and Conrad is produced... They almost seem to share the same writing style and wit...

Someday, when we all achieve self-actualisation and the world is a utopian garden of sunshine and rainbows and cupcakes with sprinkles, the internets will be fun for even the humour-handicapped. Until that day dawns, however, these poor, unfortunate souls are doomed to remain adrift in a dark and stormy sea of literalism, where pretend cousins and the hurting of their last feelings make for high drama and greivous affrontery. If I had a heart, it would bleed for them.

P.S. In the utopian garden of sunshine and rainbows and cupcakes with sprinkles, everyone's eyes work better for the seeing of things, like the luminous awesome-osity of Maggie Gyllenhaal. Also, Katie Holmes stops happening, and she takes her hobgoblin husband with her.

"...Darker comics out there..."

Darker, yes, but it is still a comic and was and still is fine for kids. Read through the Frank Miller Batman works and then tell me the Joker in the source material is ANYTHING like the Joker in TDK.

I am not personally complaining, mind you. In fact, if you were to read close enough, I never gave my opinion of the movie. I have seen it twice though...

In conclusion, do you all really feel that in order to realllly get the point home you have to call someone a name? Are you really still of the state of mind that insults=intelligence?

"Stop stealing what I said"

Care to elaborate with some evidence to back that statement up?

Sarina is awesome!

"Also, Katie Holmes stops happening"
I particularly like the thought that Katie Holmes is more of an *occurrence* that we all endure occasionally. She's a bit like taxes and the dentist. No, she's a flat tire and running out of milk.
Alanis could change that song and make it about Katie, and it would also finally be accurate. So that's a win-win.

"I feel that exact same way! We should go see something together. We could try to watch the movie while swearing under our breath at the noisy philistines, and even get into a slap fight when we eventually piss each other off too."
Loob

Well, Loob, I guess it's a date then, you pick the cinema.

I'm not too sure about the slap fight...if the other people in the cinema are really irritating, I may just slit my wrists with a popcorn kernal.

Darker, yes, but it is still a comic and was and still is fine for kids. Read through the Frank Miller Batman works and then tell me the Joker in the source material is ANYTHING like the Joker in TDK.

The Dark Knight Returns: Batman becomes even more ruthless, breaking the legs of mutant gang leaders and beats Superman's ass. Joker kills a ton of people in order to get Batman to kill him; when that fails, he breaks his own neck.

Batman Year One: Prostitutes, dominatrixes, and a baby thrown off a bridge.

All-Star Batman: The infamous "I'm the goddamn Batman" and Batman having sex with Black Canary in the rain.

Even WITH the Comics Code Authority in place, I doubt very much that most if not all of Miller's work (which includes Sin City and 300, by the way) was appropriated for children.

And then there is the non-Miller Batman stuff: earthquake that levels Gotham, killing not one but two Robins through torture, Batgirl being paralyzed and raped (by the Joker), and more.

And considering Miller and Alan Moore (The Killing Joke) were Nolan's influences, then yes, the TDK Joker is quite accurate to the source material. At least the material Nolan used.

I frankly don't care what you show your kids; you have to deal with that. But don't act like you were just soooo surprised that maybe, just maybe, the movie wasn't going to be light and fluffy. And frankly, if you are so oblivious that throughout all the hype and promotion, you didn't pay attention to the rating or anything else that could have clued you in to its tone (or more likely you just happily ignored it), then don't act like you are being wronged because folks call you out on it. Other parents had to deny themselves in order to accommodate their children because they knew the movie wouldn't be appropriate. What makes you any different?

By the way, you might not want to take the kid to Punisher: War Zone either.

So, nobody wants to talk about Journey To The Centre Of The Earth, then? No recognition of Brendan Fraser's continuing contributions to the pantheon of blandly inoffensive, impossible-to-truly-dislike, vaguely pretty and somewhat charismatic if generally not overtalented actors everywhere?

Nobody?

I'll get my coat.

Well, Dill, since we're all friends here, I'll let you in on one of my dirty little secrets.

Sometimes, when I'm home alone, and I feel a little blue, I'll watch The Mummy. And it'll cheer me right up.

Who would you cast as BlueJay?
I reckon the Mac guy. And it's okay with me if he gets killed off.

TK: Can you be entirely sure that isn't due solely to the Rachel Weisz effect? She never fails to make me happy in my pants.

Dill, Rachel Weisz could star in Roscoe Jenkins 2, The Reconing (directed by Uwe Bowle) and I'd still be first in line to watch it... She makes the whole world happy in it's pants...

1 PM in Columbus Georgia on Saturday July 19th. Sold out crowd all looking like they were in line for a roller-coaster. I've never seen a full lobby at 1 o'clock and it almost made me squee. 2 hours 45 minutes later, i looked at the crowd and, like me, they were all disheveled, exhausted, and in a state of shock. Nirvana isn't a lousy grunge band from Washington, it is The Dark Knight.

Fascinatingly (is that a word), The British Board of Film Classification, which appears to be their version of the MPAA, rated TDK with the equivalent of a PG-13--that's what it looks like from the Telegraph article, anyway. (Read in Carrie Bradshaw voice) Are we losing our death-grip on the culture of violence monopoly?

My TDK: advance screening (for our country), all cell phones banned (halleluyah), no kiddies, girlfriend squeezed my arm into pulp. Everyone lauded it.

European rating Note: The Dutch deemed it a 16+ movie, the Belgians allow children to see it.