Please Do Not Send John Oliver Your Jizz

By Dustin Rowles | Late Night TV | September 14, 2015 |

By Dustin Rowles | Late Night TV | September 14, 2015 |

In addition to covering our lousy public defender problem in America on Last Week Tonight this week, John Oliver also revealed that he had to shut down the church he set up two weeks ago to prove how messed up the IRS is when it comes to classifying religious organizations. He actually managed to get tens of thousands of dollars from people hoping to “sow their seed” with the fake church (all of which he donated to Doctors Without Borders), but eventually he did have to shut it down.

It wasn’t because the IRS forced him to. It’s not because viewers were sending him actual seeds, or because they were sending bobble heads, or even because he was sent a giant wooden penis sculpture.

No, the reason that John Oliver had to shut down his fake church is because people were sending him semen. Actual love juice. In envelopes.

As Oliver notes, “Setting up churches is all fun and games until someone gets sperm in an envelope.”