Republicans Think Stupid Watergate Is Politics Being Blown Out Of Proportion Because They Spent 8 Years Blowing Politics Out Of Proportion

By Emily Chambers | Late Night TV | May 23, 2017 |


So here’s the thing: despite being completely exhausted with Stupid Watergate, I have a hard time not consuming news about it. Which is weird, because I know full well that knowing about all of the stupid shit that Trump does isn’t going to change anything. At best, having another thing to mention when I call my representatives adds an additional couple of seconds to the phone call, which maybe makes slightly more of an impression (then again all of my representatives are Democrats who vocally oppose Trump and his initiatives, so maybe my five calls a day aren’t really doing that much anyway. Welcome to representative democracy). So I still watch all of the late night videos and read all of the articles about how seemingly totally fucked Trump is, and wonder, “How much worse does this need to get before people finally turn on Trump and his enablers?”

And then I watched this.

Just a quick note: the “tan suit” that they mentioned as one of Obama’s scandals? That was this.

ObamaTanSuit.jpg

I legitimately oofed that picture. That’s how good it is. But, once upon a time, the President of the United States rocking the everloving shit out of a non-dark suit was what passed as a scandal. Or the various food items he ordered/way he ordered them. Or an umbrella? I honestly don’t remember that one.

I therefore posit that the reason that 75-percent of Republicans are still standing by Trump, despite the fact that he admitted during a video recorded interview that he committed obstruction of justice, is because they assume these charges are as full of shit as the ones they made were. I mean, remember when they made up that thing about how Obama must have secretly been born in Kenya, was a Muslim spy, and destroying the U.S. from the inside, and everyone else pretended it might be true?! That shit was crazy! So of course we would have to make up some crazy shit too, right? Obama’s a Muslim spy, Trump is openly-secretly working with the Russians. Obama was unfit for office because he seems like the kind of person who was probably born in another country, Trump is unfit for office because he seems like the kind of person whose mental deficiencies render him incapable of understanding let alone undertaking the responsibilities of the office. Obama once put his feet up on his desk, Trump has unwittingly compromised our intelligence relationships with other countries and therefore worldwide security. It’s all politics!

The only benefit is that facts don’t need people to believe in them. Republicans might never be able to see how outrageously wrong they were about Obama and are about Trump, and Trump will still be the worst president we’ve ever had. It’s nice to understand why the Republicans are as wrong as they are, but it definitely doesn’t matter.



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