What The Hell Happened To You, Mitch McConnell?

By Emily Chambers | Late Night TV | June 27, 2017 |


In this case, the headline of the article just about covers the content. Specifically, what the hell happened to you, Mitch McConnell? I don’t mean what happened to your moral center and/or the place where your soul should be because your specific form of craven disregard for your fellow humans seems to be not a bug, but a feature of the current GOP. Maybe you guys get off on telling a five-year-old born with a congenital heart defect that he’s had enough medical treatment. I don’t know, or particularly care (I mean, of course I care. There are heartless monsters masquerading as the leaders of one of our country’s two main political parties, and their only goal seems to be inflicting as much pain as possible onto the citizenry. We could be living in a Dr. Who episode. I just mean the determining when and why Republicans decided that literally every single person who is not them can get fucked is well above my pay grade). No, when I ask “what the hell happened to you,” Mitch McConnell, I mean “when did you get so fucking stupid?”

Because you might be a lot of terrible things (and you for sure are), but to the best of my knowledge, you’ve never been stupid. Yet here you are, three years away from an election you claim you will be running in, trying to push through a bill constructed with the most deceitful methods in recent history, and with devastatingly low approval numbers. Who is this working for?

Is this because you believe the voters in Kentucky will support your heinous-Medicaid-gutting-excuse-for-a-heath-care-bill? Because last time we checked, less than half of Republicans approved of the House version. Or that you need to stand with the President, and therefore leader of your party? Because that guy is not doing a lot better than your shitty bill. And seriously, I get that you’ve spent the last seven years vowing to repeal President Obama’s major legislation, but is this how you want to go out on it? By refusing to debate the merits of the bill you’ve spent the better part of a decade touting? Don’t you have any degree of self-respect or integrity left? If not for your actual morals and ethics, then at least for your intellect? As a person who is incredibly vain about her intelligence, I’m blown away by the fact that you look people in the eye, and say, “Yeah. I thought up this piece of shit.”

Of course, what probably matters to you most isn’t what people think of you, but that you continue to wield the power that Senate Majority has granted you. And maybe you know, deep down, that you aren’t actually going to run in 2020 given that at that point, you’ll be 78-goddamn-years-old, so who cares if you never have to personally face any repercussions of a bill that will kill an estimated 24,000 people a year. Which means that you’re willing to sacrifice (what’s left of) your and your party’s integrity, and ruin the lives of millions of people so that you can enjoy the momentary rush of throwing your weight around? Which leads me back to my original question, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Emily Chambers would like to remind you that contacting your Senator, regardless of their party, is important. You can find the Capitol’s contact information here. Or you can follow Emily tweeting mean things at Republicans here.


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