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John Oliver Offers A Great Way Through The Election And A Reminder We've Got A Lot Of Work To Do After

By Emily Chambers | Last Week Tonight | October 24, 2016 |


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Fifteen days, people. Only fifteen more days. In roughly three-hundred and fifty hours, the election should, hopefully, be behind us. Provided, of course, that Trump doesn’t further try to destabilize the very nature of our democracy by refusing to accept the election results. That’s ignoring the damage already done by insisting for as long as he has that the election is rigged against him. We just need a quick and easy way of getting through the next two weeks or so. Luckily John Oliver has us covered.

Once we’re through the election though, we’ve still got a shitton of work to do. Like maybe trying to combat the ongoing opioid epidemic, which is being actively fueled by large pharmaceutical companies. Oh, yeah, that’s a thing that’s happening.

Somehow, in all of the wild bullshit that this piece exposed, my absolute favorite is still that esteemed doctor explaining how “patients on Oxycontin” should never, ever be confused for “drug addict trash hopped up on crack.”

Pseudo-addiction is when a patient is looking like a drug addict because they’re pursuing pain relief. So pseudo-addiction is relief seeking behavior mistaken as drug addiction.

So everyone got that straight now? “Addiction” is when you abuse drugs in order to escape mental or emotional pain. Also you’re probably one of the poors. Pseudo-addiction is when you abuse drugs in order to escape physical pain. You know, the acceptable form of pain. Also you are probably a “suburbanite.” So you couldn’t possibly be a “drug addict.” You’re only “pseudo-addicted.” Which is good because then you only “pseudo-pawned your kid’s musical instruments” in order to score more Oxy. And you only “pseudo-overdosed” meaning your “pseudo-withdrawal” will be significantly easier. Good thing we got that totally legit medical explanation instead of a blatantly classist rationalization based on stereotypes of drug addicts and misconceptions of addiction itself!

But more to the overall point: Trump is bad. Trump is bad, and needs to be not elected. And on the morning of November 9th, when we walk up to a new president-elect and possibly a slight hangover, let’s all remember that Trump didn’t single-handedly make his campaign possible, and that his defeat doesn’t solve all the problems we have. Make sure we beat Trump now, and then start working on preventing Trump II from destroying the country in 2020.



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