Just Another Masturbatory Pajiba Column
The Trade Round-Up / The TV Whore
June 13, 2007
(Late last night, after I had already put this round-up to bed, I learned that Don Herbert — Mr. Wizard — died. I was absolutely glued to “Mr. Wizard’s World” on Nickelodeon when I was a kid, and that was probably the first meaningful step towards my eventual physics degree. So my hat’s off to you Mr. Wizard. Rest in peace.)
The title of today’s round-up comes from one of my new favorite comments, which was in response to my lukewarmly controversial “Sopranos”/”John from Cincinnati” column (Johnny asked if “anyone else think [sic] the writers here masturbate to their own reviews?”). And that “Sopranos” finale pulled in some solid numbers for HBO, it turns out, with just shy of 12 million people watching. It beat both the NBA Finals (mildly surprising) and the Tony Awards (entirely unsurprising), only losing out for the night to NBC’s “America’s Got Talent,” all of which is impressive when you think about the fact that less than half the TV homes in this country subscribe to HBO. And as for the substance of that finale, David Chase gave an exclusive interview to Alan Sepinwall of The Star Ledger (the very newspaper Tony often strolled down his driveway to pick up), and his comments about the finale were fairly concise:
“I have no interest in explaining, defending, reinterpreting, or adding to what is there,” he says of the final scene.
“No one was trying to be audacious, honest to God,” he adds. “We did what we thought we had to do. No one was trying to blow people’s minds, or thinking, ‘Wow, this’ll (tick) them off.’ People get the impression that you’re trying to (mess) with them and it’s not true. You’re trying to entertain them.”
So the haters can keep on hating him, and the lovers can keep on loving him, and on and on . In any event, as I also mentioned in that column, HBO is officially in its rebuilding phase. While the verdict is still out on “John from Cincy,” they have made at least one step in the right direction, as the network has decided to bring back “Hard Knocks” for another season, after a several years absence. The show will follow the Kansas City Chiefs as they get ready for the upcoming football season (the show will begin airing on August 8, running through September 5). You non-football fans won’t know why this is good news, but just trust me on this — the notion of cameras (and more importantly, microphones) following coach Herm Edwards around for weeks on end is just about as textbook a definition for “brilliant” as you’ll ever see.
Meanwhile, you no doubt heard by now that CBS pulled a 180 last week and, after receiving more nuts than the trio of Hollywood whores whom this site no longer refers to by name, it has given “Jericho” a mini-renewal. Seven episodes, mid-season. As the network’s entertainment president put it in an open letter to the fans, the ball is in the viewers’ court now: “We will count on you to rally around the show, to recruit new viewers with the same grassroots energy, intensity and volume you have displayed in recent weeks.” As I’ve said before, I’m indifferent to the show’s return — my interest in it quite considerably waned as the season went along. Nevertheless, I’m certainly rooting for it to do well upon its mid-season return (and “doing well” means an increase from the roughly nine million viewers it was getting towards its end) because that obviously bodes well for future fan-efforts. If the show doesn’t see a numbers improvement, it’ll just make it that much harder the next time fans try to rally behind a troubled (or cancelled) show, and that next show could be one I actually care about. (And as for the attempts to now do something similar for “Veronica Mars,” forget it — the network’s drop-dead date is way too soon [this Friday] and, as was rumored last week, Rob Thomas has officially moved on to become the showrunner for ABC’s mid-season “Miss/Guided.”)
Last week’s TV news wasn’t only about renewals, however, as Isaiah Washington learned that his tenure on “Grey’s Anatomy” was being canceled. ABC Television announced that it was declining to renew his contract, which led to this wonderfully clever statement from Washington: “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore.” Which is surely the same sentiment ABC had (and after the hype over this exact likely outcome for months now coupled with rumors that he’s purported to be a pain in the ass on the set, and with his character’s quick disappearance in the season finale, the writing has really been on the wall for some time now). But now Washington is considering a lawsuit, of course — he claims that the network indicated it would keep him around if he met its demands, including doing his gay-hab stint and pro-homos PSAs. And since he complied, why did they still take his balls, he asks. If I might posit an answer, Isaiah, maybe it’s because you’re a bigoted prick. I dunno, just saying.
On the casting side of things, Bradley Cooper is joining “Nip/Tuck” for its upcoming LA-centric fourth season. He’ll be popping up for five episodes, and his role on the show isn’t known at this time. However, we do know what role Keith Carradine will have on the upcoming sophomore run of Showtime’s “Dexter” (September 30th, y’all, right around the corner!). He’ll be playing an FBI agent looking into why a slew of bodies have suddenly sprouted up in Miami. The fact that Carradine is slated to be in all but one of the season’s episodes suggests that his character’s investigation will be closely tied to the season’s over-arching plot, so it sure sounds like we might have another serial killer infringing on our dear Dexter’s territory. (And the eleven-episode stint must come as a relief to Carradine after he signed on to “Deadwood” to play what appeared to be the central role of Wild Bill Hickok, only to quickly wind up with a Dead Man’s Hand). Lastly, while we don’t know who will be filling the role yet, the CW has announced that the character of Supergirl will be joining “Smallville” next year, and she’ll be a major character (as opposed to other DC guests like Aquaman and Green Arrow, who just popped in and out). I don’t watch the show, so I don’t know how this will impact its overall direction or quality (which I understand is waning of late), but one interesting tidbit is that she’ll show up on the show with full-on flying capabilities, which I guess Clark Kent still doesn’t have. Too bad those too are related - once he figured out how to fly, I bet we would learn that Super Sex up in the clouds is something else.
On the “news about a good show” front, “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” is finally coming out on DVD (thanks to commenter Cody for pointing this news out). The network has announced that all 17 episodes from Seasons One and Two are being bundled into a three-disc set, with the usual TV DVD extras. September 4th is the drop date, which is actually a little odd, as I would’ve thunk FX would want them out before the third season (and before the start of fall TV, when folks are more inclined to seek out TV on DVD). But whatever — this means those of you who have missed this show can finally hit the Netflix and Blockbuster and get caught up. And that’s a good thing. On the “news about a bad show front,” we turn to the canceled “The Black Donnellys.” For those of you who were fans of the show — well, shame on you. But you’ll be happy to know that the show will begin re-airing on HDNet tonight. And the network isn’t just airing the episodes that NBC originally ran, but including another seven episodes that never saw the light of day. So enjoy your heaping piles of Haggis.
Speaking of heaping piles, right after we celebrate the birth of our nation, CBS plans to kick-start its latest attempt to destroy that very same nation with the latest installment of “Big Brother.” The show’s eighth season will begin on July 5, airing three times a week over the rest of the summer — on Tuesday nights at 9 p.m., as well as on Thursday and Sunday nights at 10 p.m. Plus, in addition to the 24-7 streaming video available on the CBS website, Showtime’s “ShoToo” will be airing “Big Brother: After Dark,” every night from midnight to 3 a.m., which is 9 p.m. to midnight in the “Big Brother” LA house. And we wonder why They hate America. (Also, that Thursday 8 p.m. airing means that the ratings-deprived “Pirate Master” will be getting a new home — it’ll air at 9 p.m. on July 5, and will then move to 10 p.m. on Tuesdays.)
Well “The Office” may be done for the season, but Creed’s still going. He’s been updating his blog, Creed Thoughts, and despite the Ryan only setting him up with a Word file, the blog has actually made it online (to NBC’s website, of course). Sample Creed Thought: “I don’t like hockey. They should get rid of the pucks and put those shoe blades on their sticks — then you’d have a game on your hands.” Couldn’t agree with you more, Creed.
And lastly, this pseudo-mashup could quite possibly be better than both of the actual movies coming out this summer:
Seth Freilich is Pajiba’s television editor. He won’t speak for others here at Pajiba, but he most certainly does not masturbate to his own reviews; rather, he prints them out and masturbates with them. “It’s quite gratifying, as long as you steer clear of papercuts” he says.
Pajiba Love 06/12/07 | | DOA: Dead or Alive
Comments
Oh beloved TV person, isn't the trash called America's Got Talent on NBC, not ABC? I hate to be "that person" pointing out foibles, but I couldn't resist.
Otherwise, excellent post as always.
Posted by: Zeta at June 13, 2007 8:28 AM
Right you are, Zeta. Just goes to show you to what lengths I have tried to strike any knowledge of that filth from my mind.
Posted by: Seth at June 13, 2007 8:43 AM
More Black Donnelly's? What is wrong w/ America that this turd keeps popping up and we still have to worry about the life of Friday Night Lights? I leave that open for discussion...
Posted by: Helcat at June 13, 2007 8:55 AM
Jesus God, when I saw this column's title and that photo, I swear for a minute I thought this was the most ill-conceived Comment Diversion idea ever.
I don't mind admitting, it scared the pajiba out of me.
Posted by: Jerce at June 13, 2007 9:04 AM
>
Wasn't this addressed already when we lost Arrested Development last year?
Thanks for the news on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's DVD release, Seth. I've only managed to catch about three or four episodes of this series and managed to laugh myself into conniptions in the process, so I've been chomping at the bit to get them on disc for some time. Now, any idea as to when season 3 will actually start airing?
Posted by: Armando at June 13, 2007 9:09 AM
The relentless masturbation continues. I kid, of course.
Black Donnellys is still on. Hooray for mediocre television!
I can't say I'm stunned that Sopranos beat the NBA game - the best games were the semis and quarters, the finals are a bust. Hard Knocks is awesome though, but I'd rather have them follow someone a little more volatile than boring-as-hell Edwards. I'd love to see them follow either a really bad team (Raiders or somesuch), or my fantasy is to have them follow the Eagles or Cowboys. Alas.
Posted by: TK at June 13, 2007 9:40 AM
Armondo - still no firm date on when Season Three of "It's Always Sunny" will be airing, although FX still says "late summer." So I expect we'll see it some time in August, unless they decide to bump it back for some reason. When a firm date is set, it'll surely earn a mention from me to put you all on notice.
Posted by: Seth at June 13, 2007 9:41 AM
Adding Supergirl to Smallville as a main character has got to be the *WORST* idea I've heard for the show in a very long time. And there have been a lot of bad ones.
Posted by: Leaf at June 13, 2007 10:11 AM
1) You know, I watched Jericho for, like, two months and then just kind of...quit. I liked the story and I like looking at Skeet Ulrich, but at some point I started skipping the actual broadcasts and just keeping up by reading the TWoP recaps, which are highly entertaining.
2) Please take whoever is responsible for the Ce*leb*i*trix ad out back and shoot them in the head. What the fuck is Celebitrix, anyway--seizure medication?
Posted by: Jerce at June 13, 2007 10:33 AM
3) I noticed earlier this morning that you have made a slight adjustment to the Pajiba masthead. I did not think it was possible to love Pajiba any more than I already did, but I was wrong.
Posted by: Jerce at June 13, 2007 10:56 AM
Jerce, I didn't catch that at first. Thanks for pointing out the masthead change. I may just swoon...
Posted by: TK at June 13, 2007 11:04 AM
Just as long as you leave the comments sections pure and innocent, Seth, whatever you do in privacy is okay by me.
Posted by: Vermillion at June 13, 2007 11:04 AM
you are so right about the 'hard knocks' series. herm edwards brings the crazy...it's gonna be like watching a car crash. you won't be able to take your eyes off it.
Posted by: matty blue at June 13, 2007 11:11 AM
Why aren't the previous seasons of Hard Knocks out on DVD? I would buy them in a second.
Posted by: Gitmo Joe at June 13, 2007 11:20 AM
Big time KC fan here, so I'll be watching Hard Knocks. If I remember. Which is always up for debate.
And I love Bradley Cooper, so I guess I'm watching nip/tuck again. Sigh.
Posted by: Gabs at June 13, 2007 11:21 AM
Wait, there's a show coming out called Miss/Guided? Wasn't there a failed Alicia Silverstone show called Miss/Match? It wasn't clever the first time and it's still not. I'm also sick of slashes in titles overall (Nip/Tuck, anyone?)
Posted by: CDell at June 13, 2007 11:22 AM
Oh, and on the header: I noticed the change last night, but can someone remind me which movie poster got the boot in favor of the new one?
The Evil Dead poster was removed -- and the Firefly handiwork was Stacey's (Lightly Salted) -- how freakin' cool does that look?! -- DR
Posted by: Gabs at June 13, 2007 11:25 AM
Jerce: I had the same thought. I could see the thought process too "Hmm, only about 50 responses to the presidential comment diversion, but hundreds when we get on the topic of celebrities they'd like to fuck, so let's really give these people something they can get their hands around (so to speak)".
Posted by: PaddyDog at June 13, 2007 11:35 AM
Best.Title.Ever.
Posted by: Be Adequite! at June 13, 2007 11:37 AM
I didn't notice the change to the masthead until now, the Firefly poster looks freakin sweet. Now I can stare at Nathan "Pajiba mascot" Fillion all day.
Posted by: Julie at June 13, 2007 11:49 AM
I'm so bummed about Mr. Wizard - I loved that show when I was a kid. He made me want to be a scientist sooo much, too bad I suck at math. :(
Posted by: pinkcheese at June 13, 2007 12:09 PM
LOVE the masthead change! But no gun for Wash? I just treated myself last night to my third-favorite episode, the one where he straps up with the actual designated ass-kickers to rescue Mal; I had to laugh from comparing him to Ripley getting her game face on in Aliens. Ripley would fucking kill Wash, but Ripley vs. Zoe, well that would be even AND fucking hot.
Jerce, I did the same thing with Jericho -- I wanted so much to like that show but quit after a few months. Just too much silliness and melodrama, not nearly enough empty cities and end-of-civilization madness. "Oh, no, the library is on fire! Oh, no, my girlfriend is inside!" Bwuh.
Glad to see "Hard Knocks" is back, and KC could provide some good moments. The brewing contract dispute with RB Larry Johnson may boil over this summer, they have a potential QB battle with Trent Green gone, and Herm Edwards is likely to say some pretty silly shit -- it's in him, and it's gotta come out.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 13, 2007 12:35 PM
For clarification sake, Isaiah Washington's PR agent, Howard Bragman (who is gay btw), was the one quoted with the whole "mad as hell" bit.
And their not stupid enought to go vs. ABC (i.e disney) with a lawsuit.
I just think if they were gonna fire the man, have some balls and do it when it happened. Don't dangle his job around for months. But this is hollywood and they are anything but reasonable around here.
As a black person and noticing that 95% of my friends are gay, I wonder if this is what they wanted: for abc to eventually fire him. All my buds just say that they think TR sux and this is ridiculous.
Does TR knight care? I think not, he's dancing on his bed thinking about the over a million dollars he's getting next year. He's probably thinking: "man being called the f-word really did wonders for me".
Is this true if the situation was reversed and it was the n-word? I think not. Plus, none of this shoulda been played out in the court of public opinion. Get professional ABC and keep a lid on some things. If isaiah was loose cannon, then fire him for that too. If he keeps shooting off his mouth in public, then yeah fire him.
Amongst my friends, we don't give two shits about either actor. I just think this is a dangerous precendent. What's next? Some girl is called a bitch or a dyke, next thing y'know she has a raise and that guy is canned? Maybe I should start baiting people into shouting off, maybe it'll work for me like it did for TR.
I don't wanna start a flame war. Its just somethin to think about.
Posted by: Teresa at June 13, 2007 12:51 PM
Oh yeah, and Mr. Wizard was the shit. I was very saddened by his passing.
Posted by: Teresa at June 13, 2007 12:53 PM
Well, Teresa, I don't give a rat's ass about Grey's Anatomy, its cast, or overpaid TV personalities in general; but damn if you don't have a point. They should have made the decision to fire or to keep him when the shit hit the fan, not all this time later.
Is this true if the situation was reversed and it was the n-word? I think not.
No, I think so. But it's always gonna depend on how much publicity the incident gets and whether people in the media decide to run it into the ground, or chase after some other story. So it would depend on whether, like, the story broke on a Saturday or a Tuesday, and did Brangelina appear in public on that particular day and get photographed in the grocery store.
America is in a very sick place right now.
Posted by: Jerce at June 13, 2007 1:20 PM
Jerce - just saw it now.
Bout damn time
Posted by: Brian at June 13, 2007 2:26 PM
I might actually watch Hard Knocks. I am no KC fan (go Broncos!!) but Herm Edwards...bring it on, baby. I love me some crazy.
And I am with the others. Thanks to you guys, I can swoon over Nathan Fillion as much as I want.
Posted by: bonnie at June 13, 2007 2:38 PM
I agree with those who say that Isiah Washington should have been fired immediately--his language was grossly inappropriate in a work environment, not to mention his lying about the use of the f-word...by using it again on live TV. And while I do think what he said was appalling and gross, I think the reason he should have been fired was that he laid his hands in a violent manner on a coworker. I mean, didn't the whole situation start because he was choking Patrick Dempsey? I get the feeling that Washington's firing was not due to just this one incident, but is instead a response to a pattern of behavior on his part--the reactions of his coworkers do not seem to indicate someone who made an uncharacteristic slip. Just my two cents...
Posted by: Siege at June 13, 2007 3:01 PM
I read somewhere that Keith Carradine's character is going to be investigating the bodies left by Dexter -- so no new serial killer, but apparently a season-long arc in which Dex will be dancing between his on- and off- the job activities. I'm there.
Posted by: Louise at June 13, 2007 3:20 PM
Siege: The very fact that he was so violent and making the cast uncomfortable makes ABC firing him so long after the news broke even more ridiculous. They basically dragged this out as far as they could for publicity, not caring about how it felt for the cast and crew who weren't directly involved in this circus of idiocy. They made it more about the slur than about the assault, and in fact tried to play down the assault until the f-word aspect of it came out. Apparently, if someone is trying to kick your ass, that gets written off; but don't let someone call you a bad name without getting a press conference ready.
Jerce has it right. If you are gonna fire the man, just do it. Don't give him false hope so you can get more attention to your crappy show.
Posted by: Vermillion at June 13, 2007 3:29 PM
By the way, did anyone else here see Keith Carradine on Criminal Minds? Damn, he was creepy. I always thought of him as that nice fella on Wild West Tech until I saw that. I miss Wild West Tech.
Posted by: Vermillion at June 13, 2007 3:34 PM
Jericho is a middling show with an interesting premise. It basically ends civilization as these people know it and then watches what happens. The various romantic triangles/family issues are boring as shit, no one cares, but a few of the characters are interesting. One of the better ones is an IRS chick who came to the town to audit a local farmer (a young, hot farmer) and then ends up shacking up with him and his deaf sister. That's right, deaf sister. The other interesting story is the mysterious government guy who appears to know way more than he's letting on. It seems to be kinda realistic (inasmuch as it's possible to know such a thing) about what would happen after nukes drop on major US cities, ie, towns making war on each other to gain control of valuable assets, various people claiming to be in charge, the military not knowing what the hell is going on, what do you eat when the grocery store runs out of food, etc. It's kind of depressing, but it's only an hour. And still not as depressing as Big Brother.
Posted by: LL at June 13, 2007 4:30 PM
Yes, the deaf sister kept me going for maybe one extra episode -- she was also Silas's hot girlfriend on "Weeds." Ummm ... Shoshannah Stern. Yum.
Man, I'm tickled every time I see that Firefly header.
Wash, out.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 13, 2007 5:09 PM
Love the Supergirl idea. Always hoping for a well thought out re-make. Won't watch it. Love the show though.
Posted by: Candy at June 13, 2007 6:03 PM
Wait... they're running Jericho on Fridays.. the same time as Sci-Fi is running the new episodes of Dr. Who?
Posted by: Ray at June 13, 2007 11:01 PM
David Chase's lack of shame in that sentence is stunning. If "No one was trying to be audacious (...) We did what we thought we had to do. No one was trying to blow people's minds, or thinking, 'Wow, this'll (tick) them off.'", then there's nothing hidden there. Any discussion or interpretation that tries to give meaning to that ridiculous SERIES FINALE is pointless and worthless.
Let me stress this again: SERIES FINALE. And it came after more than enough time for elaboration, and (of course) after a fantastic collection of episodes.
There was absolutely no caring for it. "Brilliant", they say? Right. So "brilliant" that it suggests nothing, adds nothing, hides nothing... It means nothing, after all. There was no will to brilliance in that finale, as the producer himself says now! This has got to be one of the biggest disappointments of this generation, and only because, before that, 'The Sopranos' was dubbed one of TV's biggest moments of this and that time by a lot of reasonable people. The finale was downright disrespectful, and Chase comes to state exactly that: "we didn't want to respect the viewers or the series".
The higher they get...
Posted by: Gargumma at June 14, 2007 7:52 PM
BTW, I understand you don't watch it, so just FYI: 'Smallville' hasn't been "waning of late". It's already three seasons overdue, at least, going into its fourth.
Geez, talk about bitchy people... Am I in the right place? :)
Posted by: Gargumma at June 14, 2007 8:00 PM
Awww, poor Pajiba. Someone calls you out on your masturbatory orgasm of hipster snobbery, and you are shocked... shocked, that someone could suggest such a thing.
Sometimes, the scathing bitchiness tolls for thee...
Posted by: Ed Furst at June 14, 2007 8:23 PM