Five Easy Steps to a Financially Successful Romantic Comedy!

What Happens in Vegas / Joseph M. Caracciolo, Jr.

Out on the Edge You See All Kinds of Things You Can't See from the Center

Primer: The Boozehound Cinephile / Ted Boynton

Pajiba Love

ATTENTION! All Pajibans in the Richmond, VA area: it's time to lead, follow, or get out of the way! There's going to be a blood drive for Alabama Pink on Thursday, May 15 from 3-7 pm. Godtopus commands you be there! (Whoa, Camel!)

Fatty Tardbuckle scored his own clothing line at Hot Topic! Sheesh, even Avril picked like, Kohls. (WIMB)

OH HELL YES. The only way Matthew McConaughey could be better suited for a film role is if he were to play the role of Matthew McConaughey. (Agent Bedhead)

"Police respond to call of felony wedgification." Yes, that kind of wedgification. (QuizLaw)

Round Two of Barbara Walters vs. Star Jones! Fight! Fight! Fight! (Yeeeah!)

Oh man! The Anna Nicole biopic is only to be released through illegal downloading on the internet? Fuck! I totally had called dibs on that one, too. (FourFour)

Bwuh? How bad of a director to you have to be for chewing gum to want you out of the way? (Pop Candy)

You know what would be hysterical? If we provided Ethiopeans with weapons and intelligence and then they just went out and comitted a bunch of war crimes. Oh, what's that? It's already happened now? (Liberal Avenger)

Spencer Pratt is totally doing Heidi Montag in the butt. That's right, my preciouses, if I have to be subjected to the mental imagery, than so do you. (Celebslam)

Top of the line dishwashers come with a canine prewash cycle. (Serious Eats)

Sometimes when I post links to stuff like this, I think back to the days when Pajiba used to be a boys club; then I giggle to myself and post it anyway. So here are some hilarious tampon stories. (Jezebel) and (Evil Beet)

And on that note -- because why the hell not -- some of the world's fanciest and most luxurious toilets. (mental floss)

Not everybody puts on their pants one leg at a time, after the jump.

Pajiba's Underappreciated Gems

My Lost Youth

In the Bedroom / Phillip Stephens

If You Listen to DMX, The Baby Comes Out Goin 'Ennngghhh!

Eloquent Eloquence / The Top 10 Comments of the Week

Pajiba Love

As someone who is not so much of a geek, I had no idea the geek references on "South Park" were so intricately layered. And here are the top ten. (Comedy Central Insider)

Devendra Banhart, indie musician and boyfriend of Natalie Portman, is a real dickface. (WIMB)

"Today" takes out a stupidity assault on Crest Pro Health mouthwash. (Deus Ex Malcontent)

Is it totally sick and unreasonable of me to wonder how this guy trained a cow to suck dick in the first place? Yeeesh. (QuizLaw)

Ellen Page does a blazer over an ironic tee and black jeans like no one else can. (Popoholic)

With the new AMP energy drinks, you can choose what kind of caffeine-enhanced sugar high you want: elevatey, overdrivey, relaunchey, or tractioney. Mmm... "Tractioney." (The Impulsive Buy)

Angelina Jolie is carrying twin daughters, so in the future you'll have plenty of reason to lock your sons at home. (IDLYITW)

Passive aggressive clip art catastrophes. (PA Notes)

Not to purposely drag this out, but Sarina is now getting harassing phone calls due to her negative review of an author with military connections. Just so you know where your tax dollars are going. (Unscheduled)

A whole entire book devoted to stuff white people like? Get out! (SWPL)

Speaking of stuff white people like: "You hid a Jimmy Eat World CD under your bed before your friends came over," and other signs you might be a hipster. (tmn)

Late addition! Ask and ye shall receive: "the Victoria's Secret catalog for boys." (Jezebel)

Hooray! The triumphant return of Gremlins, after the jump.

Let's Go Out to the Lobby, and Grab Ourselves a Snack!

An Afternoon Comment Diversion / Dustin Rowles