Pajiba

As much as I'd like to claim I'm being quoted out of context, I suspect I probably wasn't.

Still wasn't as good as Mallrats though...

Yeah, I went there.

I love when you put qoutes from the comments on here. Pajiba commenters are so clever.

The top 2 movies grossed a total of $38.5 million. That means, the producers made $1.83 million for every time someone got hit in the balls or bashed in the face while bending over at the wrong moment. Well done Hollywood. Well done.

It's only a matter of time before I enjoy a truly awful movie, get into a funny argument with someone, and wind up quoted on a major Pajiba article. Do I need to state how embarrassing that would be?

I like to look at the positive of the box office results: an independent comedy is genuinely doing well in America.

I take it The Orphanage couldn't have been in a real wide release, right? Not that them there fancy letters on the screen done hurt some critters' noggins meaning they tain't a'going, right?

I second the quotes from the commenters on the Round-up. It's not that I don't like the Pajibaites comments. There's just something about a good reprise.

PissBoy, and can you believe people say comedy is dead?

Yep, I'm also liking the commenters' quotes as part of the weekly round-up. Although this is encouraging me to post more which really isn't a good idea. Can you believe I went an entire weekend without Pajiba? Seriously: I ate actual food and cleaned my house.

It was a revalation.

Damn, I really want to see Juno again.

Alex - I know what you mean. I don't know if it's because the comment discussions have been so stimulating or because I'm desperate to be on 2008's Top Ten List, but I've definitely been posting more.

Alex. I did the same thing!!! I was sitting home last night and clicked shut-down on my 'puter when I realized it. It was weird. It was like the first couple days after you've quit smoking. And you realize 'Hol shit! I didn'[t smoke at all this weekend. Except I actually did want to check the site this weekend so I could warn my friends not to go see Jason Statham drive the first nail into his career coffin. Alas...I didn't get here and couldn't save him or his girlfriend from going. And they fucking loved it. I need new friends.

That makes me wonder. How can I have friends who have the WORST taste in movies. Perfect example here: Last week my friend Sean purchased, that's right, I said PURCHASED 'I Now Pron. You Chuck & Larry' on DVD. After the initial shock from the moment wore off i collected myself and told him to enjoy watching it. This past Saturday whilst watching some football he asks 'Have you seen ...Chuck & Larry yet?' To which I promptly replied 'Hell no.' His retort: "Dude...you have to see it. I haven't laughed so hard since i saw Blazing Saddles. This movie may actually have been funnier.' At which I slapped him in the head and told him 'Shut your suck!'

How the FUCK can someone take such a huge downward spiral from listing in their top 10 movies ever Seven Samurai, French Connection, Color Purple, Clockwork Orange to purchasing these movies on DVD and LOVING them within the last 3 weeks: Chuck n Larry, Ghost Rider, Spiderman 3, Grandma's Boy, and motherfucking R. Zombie's Halloween. How can I call him my best friend? Then again he IS almost 30, still living at home, still buys action figures, has a KISS tattoo on his left arm and Gene Simmons's solo album cover on his other, plays warcraft like 8 hours a day, and his favorite word is 'Faggot.' His goals for the next 6 months have nothing to do with trying to get a better job, trying to get an apt of his own, and circle around saving money for a portrait of Ozzy Osbourne to get tatted on his shoulder. So I guess since he's still technically 16 inside I shouldn't be surprised at this.

Can I just thank you guys now? Juno finally came to my town and I was almost too apathetic to see it, but I remembered all the love on here and I went. I was pleased to see that A. the theater was absolutely packed, and B. everyone around me was laughing their asses off as much as I was.

So seriously, thanks, guys.

Grrrrr!! Eff Delaware!!!! Right in the ear. Up until this weekend the closest place to me playing Juno was at the Ritz East in Philly and none of my douche bag friends wants to see it. Then...it starts around here this weekend at 1 theater. This is first of 3 straight weekends I have no time to get out and do something. Why must you torment me so? Sure...wait for fucking ever to show Juno. But I'll be goddamned if Bucket Fuckers, First Sunday, and I Am Legend don't have 4 screens each.

Kolby...I too have a renewed interest in the comments section. I think it's just because I've decided to make sure I hang out on the page a couple times a day. It helps me to enjoy my new job a little more. Comments are merely increased due to my increased presence.

TK If you have 200 Million Dollars, you could afford to pay some one to beat Mr. Lillard, record it and place it on YouTube. Hell you could buy a 30 second commercial spot during the SuperbOwl and broadcast it to the world.

Wow, I feel for ya PissBoy. I'm fairly lucky with my circle of friends that none of them have absolutely horrendous taste in movies, or maybe they do but years of my scorn and derision at their choices has taught them when to keep quiet.

Most of my friends are hideously non-geeky (I am however working on converting/educating them to some extent - the day I woke up at 3am to find my housemate had stayed up specifically to start the game I was currently playing herself I almost cried I was so proud) but when I worked retail it was reclusive nerd overload. One of the managers I used to work with used to prioritise playing World of Warcraft over eating and/or showering... on days he was working the shop front. I truly knew I had to get out of there in the bar one evening. There were six pints that stood untouched because the six grown men who were meant to be drinking them were too engrossed playing Nintendogs over WiFi.

This has no real point but it's four minutes til I can head home so really, at this point, I'm just timewasting.

I feel you too Pissboy-I just may go see Juno by myself at the Ritz East this week, because when I asked one of my girlfriends which movie we should see her immediate (and sadly enough, jubilant) response was "Ooh 27 Dresses looks so cute!" Needless to say we got drunk and watched the playoffs instead.

Hmmm, maybe retail attracts different people in the UK than in the US. When I worked at The Gap, it was all fluff & nonsense, all the time. We had some great parties, though.

Oddly enough (with noted exemptions awarded to AlabamaPink and few others on this page), I have noticed friends of mine suddenly lose their interest and taste in good film upon procreating. Friends who used to queue in the rain for the best seat in the midnight triple showing of Ingmar Bergman movies now tell me how they just saw Princess Diaries II on DVD and how wonderful it is. I have a theory that epidurals are administered with a secret shot of The Notebook laced in and it alters the DNA forever. Obviously, there are some resistors in the population who are immune to the mutation, but I'm sure there's a secret society out there dedicated to tracking them down and neutralizing them.

Is the Box Office Round up going to be regularly done via The Eloquents? Because that would be kinda awesome.

Curses to you then for being local Julie. :P The totally effed up thing about it is my band is (tentatively) playing in Philly this weekend. I will be MINUTES from a good viewing position for Juno and unable to attend. It sucks. I would rather go to the Ritz and pay almost double for my ticket price simply because People's Plaze in Bear, DE is the worst effing place to see a movie in the history of mankind. I was drinking at a bar last year in the same shopping center and some friends decided that a drunken shitty movie would be fun cuz we could say what we wanted and offend no one. We decided 'Pulse' to be the perfect vehicle. To our shock...the house was PACKED. And even drunk as a skunk that movie was shite. Not to mention all the tweeners yelling at the screen the whole time and the 2 state troopers who had to come in and forcibly remove people on 2 different occasions. I thought we'd get a refund because of how bad the movie was. We got it because of the multiple interruptions. Win freakin' win!

Anyhoo, have fun seeing Juno. I try to get to the Ritz whenever possible but have been limited in the last 3 years. With exception of Blair Witch on opening weekend (shut up... everyone... stop laughing... I was 20...) I have enjoyed every movie I have seen there. Likely because people who go there want to actually PAY ATTENTION to what they are seeing.

And Alex...next time you see people at the local public house doing that shit. Punch them. Hard. In the balls. Then, ooo looky lookit! 6 pints lined up in a row! All for you!

Julie, I'm not sure if you're in PA, DE, or NJ, but if you're in PA, there's a great little theatre about 20 mins north of Philly called the Ambler Theatre. It's an old, 20th Century Christian Theater turned Indie Theatre that has cheaper tickets, clean seats, near-empty screnings during the day, and REAL BUTTER for your popcorn. Does it get any better than that? It's my new favorite escape place. I'd offer the same to Pissboy, but I'm assuming he lives in DE, so he's better off at the Ritz

On a different note, did anyone see the new PBS/BBC presentation of Persuasion last night and can someone tell me why they felt the need to change the ending and to turn Anne Elliot into someone who walked around with a hunched back and her mouth hanging open all the time as if she had some strange muscular disorder? Thank God, the Dallas/Giants game ended early because I had convinced Mr. PaddyDog to DVR the game if it ran over so I could get my Austen fix and he would have killed me for doing that given the travesty that unfolded.

PaddyDog: YES! I agree with you. I thought Masterpiece Theatre was going to redo all the Jane Austen novels and get them right. But NOOOOOOOOOOO! They screwed up the first one. I'm not impressed. There was a Masterpiece Theatre miniseries of "Persuasion" done in 1995 with Amanda Root that was 10X better. Since they're not remaking the classic "Pride and Predjudice" with Colin Firth, I was amazed that they didn't show the old "Persuasion" version, too. This new one was a piece of crap, even if it did have Giles in it. Oh, and if any man I'd been pining for, for 7 years, took that friggin long to kiss me, I'd haul off and slug him.

Travesty? What travesty? Are you speaking of that brilliance that was Tony Romo's receivers not getting the job done and T.O. crying like a little girl with a skinned knee??? That travesty? I just thought it was a thing of beauty. We must have been watching different games.

PaddyDog and BWeaves, I regret to inform you that the thoroughly mediocre Persuasion was easily the best of the four new Austen adaptations. Mansfield Park with Billie Piper as Fanny Price was particularly brutal. The best thing I can say about it is that I was blessedly distracted by constantly wondering why Fanny apparently had some sort of religious aversion to brushing her damn hair. I don't know why they even bothered with new adaptations since they couldn't be arsed to do them any justice. I've seen midwestern high school plays that were better.

Pissboy-the theater for PULSE was packed?! Ha! I knew there was a reason I avoid Delaware (except for buying liquor, of course). :p I LOVE The Ritz, I have so many great dates with myself there...not once has the movie been interupted by inconsiderate assholes, I get to do a movie themed crossword while waiting for the previews, and the subway home is but a mere two blocks away...glorious.

Pudenda-I always heard great things about Ambler Theater. I went to college not far from there (and I live in Philly now), but I've never been. Mmmm, real butter.

PaddyDog and BWeaves ,
I too saw the atrocity that was Jane Austen's "Persuasion" last night. Worst. Adaptation. Ever. What the HELL. They fucked up Austen. I did not think that was possible. That was truly some motherfuckery, right there. And I watched it instead of "The Wire" - aka, the greatest television show ever. I felt so dirty afterwards. Therefore, tonight I will watch the 1995 version on DVD so I can cleanse myself of the heavy coating of filth that was left over my entire being last night.

I just moved Good Luck Chuck and Mr. Woodcock to the top of my Blockbuster Queue. I must be a glutton for punishment. I do have Rome seasons 1 and 2 next though.

I was so livid about what they did to my beloved Jane Austen, I forgot to use proper punctuation in my previous post (as well as this one I'm sure). Unfortunatley, I don't have that execuse for all of my other previous posts on Pajiba.
Yeah, I am real edumacated.

PissBoy -- for your information, Terrell Owens IS a little girl, and it was his ankle that hurt, not his knee.

Also, thanks to everyone who watched Persuasion last night. I will be deleting it off the Tivo.

I have also lost the abiltiy to spell. It should be excuse and not execuse. See what that Austen adaptation did to me? I think I need to go rest somewhere quietly.

DE is only good for alcohol???!!! THat must mean you come down 95 and hop off at Naaman's road to hit up Total Wine just like everyone else! Ha!

And lemme know when you wanna go and I'll meet you at the Ritz anytime! Sadly though, not at the East. Juno is at the Bourse. Movies alone tend to suck in my opinion. Fuck it. i may go tomorrow just cuz I need to see it before it's too late.

Thank you for correcting what need not be corrected 319. I knew it was his ankle (high ankle sprain to be precise...the same injury that left him in question for the Eagles post season) and I was already aware he was a little girl. I'm not sure he was crying because they lost or because he's trying to convey the 'I've changed...look!' angle a little too much.

Wasn't trying to correct you - was trying to agree with you that TO is a little bitch who deserves no sympathy from anyone. Don't know if there's an emoticon for that.

I heartily concur with the above hatred for last night's Persuasion. It mostly pisses me off that they have to throw in a kiss at the end of every Austen adaptation EVER and insult my intelligence. When they were kissing IN THE STREET at the end of Persuasion last night, I was screaming at the top of my lungs to an empty apartment.

Being an English grad student is awesome.

It seems that losing not only turns T.O. into a crying little girl, but inable to use a razor. My cubicle neighbor at work cut out the picture of him weeping from the Metro this morning. Tremendous. Ah, Schadenfreude.

Pissboy-indeed, my friends and I have used Total Wine for our alcoholic needs :) Damned PA and its Quaker laws. And I'll totally see Juno any day, my friends have been bitches lately and won't take me to the movies.

Much thanks, PaddyDog for the compliment. I remember in pre-kiddo days listening to co-workers complain that they hadn't seen an "adult" movie in years (meaning something rated higher than PG and with no product tie-ins). I mean, WTF? What is wrong with these people? Even with my zany toddler, I can get out at least twice a month for a new release and our NetFlix queue is pretty well-worn.

Priorities, I guess. Some would say my love for my child is tempered by my love of cinema. But then I'd smack their lips off for that blasphemy.

If all goes well (sorry PissBoy and others), I'll be catching "Juno" on Wednesday with my mom and best friend. Yip, yip! can't wait! Let's keep our fingers crossed that I don't catch whatever is making my husband barf up his guts today.

For once the RVA is doing pretty well with movie selection. We've got "Juno" playing here AND "The Orphanage". I am trembling with excitement.

Holy smack, PissBoy. Your weird ass friend is like a character straight out of the Kevin Smith oeuvre. I thought it was pretty bad of my best gal pal when she lived at home through her twenties until her parent's sold the house...to her fiancée. So essentially, she is almost 30 and STILL living her parent's house. She just moved from living in the den to the bedroom she shares with her husband. How I love my friends.

PissBoy: I wasn't referring to the Dallas/NY game, I was referring to the piece of turd that PBS served up last night (correction, the collaborator was ITV not BBC) in place of the Jane Austen adaptation they had promised us.
And thanks BWeaves, Jen 310 and others:
Riddle me this, you have a book with some solid characters, nice plot and a pretty damn good ending that turns around a really well-written letter and how it's delivered and so you say to yourself, "Self, I'm a writer, how about I ignore what the book says about the characters, cut out most of the salient plot devices and gosh if that ending isn't just too perfect so I'll fuck it up just for the hell of it?" I mean I know that happens in Hollywood every day, but this was PBS??????? And you know what I never want to see on my telly ever again? A man leaning in to kiss a woman whose mouth is gaping open like a dead fish with drool webbing her teeth and spittle on her chin. Thanks PBS. Thanks a fucking lot!

The Daily Show review link seems to be mixed up. That or Jon Stewart has cracked under the recognition that his once-stellar show has slidden into strike-induced mediocrity and is now coping by doing naked pushups in a frozen tundra.

Annnyyyway, Kristina, it's a good thing I opted for Sports Night reruns last night rather than flipping on Masterpiece Theater. My boyfriend and his roommates would not have appreciated my maniacal raving, 'specially not the cop with the anger management problem.

Is that because it's part of your conditional release or something? I can't go to a movie with a stranger that might cut me. My mom always told me "Stranger? Danger!" Tell me now if you carry a knife and have a prediliction for sliced flesh. Cuz then I might change my mind. Or better yet! I'll bring a sock with some quarters in it for self-defense. And if I end up not needing to defend myself, I'll buy the Milk Duds!

Dead serious though. I'm likely going to see this tomorrow. Prolly 7:30 or 8:45.

You know what I never want to see on my telly ever again? A man leaning in to kiss a woman whose mouth is gaping open like a dead fish with drool webbing her teeth and spittle on her chin. Thanks PBS. Thanks a fucking lot!

I realized that about 2 minutes too late Paddy. My apologies. That was just my rowdy philly-fandom looking to stir the shit pot a little.

..."so I could warn my friends not to go see Jason Statham drive the first nail into his career coffin..."

Posted by: PissBoy at January 14, 2008 10:07 AM
---------------------------------------------------

Technically, this was the second nail. The first was Transporter 2.

I suck. Sorry about the 5,000 posts.

PissBoy--the travesty of which you speak was Romo-esque. Although given the choice between Tony Romo AND Eli "Really I'm Not Adopted" Manning, the Football Gods just flipped a coin. The level of quarterback suck nearly formed a vacuum into which Texas Stadium would have fallen. Now, I would not have been sad had that happened, but I would be slightly upset, especially considering all the Cowboys' Cheerleaders would have been taken down with them. Regardless of whether or not they actually have brains, they are at least something to look at.

WTF is up with the posting today??? My apologies for the triplet above. And my apologies Paddy. Just my Philly Fandom hackles raising in the hopes of stirring the shit pot. I realized your point about 2 mins after I hit "post comment"...they need a 'remove comment' option so we can take down our own multis and such.

PissBoy--the travesty of which you speak was Romo-esque. Although given the choice between Tony Romo AND Eli "Really I'm Not Adopted" Manning, the Football Gods just flipped a coin. The level of quarterback suck nearly formed a vacuum into which Texas Stadium would have fallen. Now, I would not have been sad had that happened, but I would be slightly upset, especially considering all the Cowboys' Cheerleaders would have been taken down with them. Regardless of whether or not they actually have brains, they are at least something to look at.

Sorry for the double posting. Not my fault: something a little weird with the server today.

I'm not sure your sock of quarters would be useful anyhow, seeing that I traded my stabby ways for a bolt pistol ala Anton Chigurh. Alas, the only day I can't go is tomorrow (Grandmom's birthday at...The Olive Garden! sob), but if you head over there a different day I will happily steal all the Milk Duds and trade you some popcorn.

Ha! What if I came at ya with 2 socks full of quarters? I would shake one to make the jingly noise attempting to distract you and then THWACK! from the other side. (This is all banking on you being as easily distracted as I am. If it's a jingly noise...I'm done.)

Wednesday?

Ha! You wouldn't even need the quarters, you could just jingle your keys and I'd be all "Who? WHAT?!"

I can do Wednesday! 6:30? 7:30?

Oh unscripted moment of hilarity!! Because the server appears to be batshit crazy today, it looks as if Pissboy is apologizing to me for kissing a salivating fish-mouthed woman. I love it!

7:30 is best for me. Out of work at 5:30 on Wed wouldn't leave a lot of room for a 6:30 showing...especially given traffic. I'll make sure I make myself noticeable so you can try to discern if i am a threat.

Hee...like the Pied Piper in reverse! I can meet you outside at 7:15, I work two blocks from the Bourse. I'll be wearing a long black coat...so good luck with that. :p

ha! I'll be wearing a black jacket. Prolly have time to change so likely jeans and a black teeshirt as well.

I reckon that was likely a typo, but still, PissBot made me giggle. 'Cuz I'm 12.

Whoa, is that a Pajiba movie meet-up happening? That is so cool, or creepy, or cool.

Yeah. Pajiba movie-meet-up for Juno. And no worries if it is creepy. She's bringin' a gun and I have 2 socks full o quarters. But we'll both be in black so at least we'll be dressed like professional killers. I'll be more casual though of course.

I never understand why Pajibans have to appologize and /duck whenever they admit watching a movie they consider "unfashionable" for this site... What's wrong with watching Blair Witch Project or even 27 Dresses? I don't have to spend my days waiting for the next generally-approved by Pajibans indie flick to go to the cinema or enjoy myself seing a movie, I dare say if I did - considering how rare real quality gems are - I'd be a generally miserable human being. I enjoyed the hell out of Persuasion, running like a lunatic all over Bath and all, since it's still better than 90% of the crap Hollywood throws at me every year. Go ahead and frown disapprovingly.

Nobody's saying you must have "good taste" Irina, just look at the secret shames diversion we had a while back and some of the horrifying things we all admitted to. PaddyDog just gets a bit rabid about Austen, I have learnt much from her ranting.

OK, I'm now going to address points from waaaaaaaay further up the thread cause I'm like that.

First up Kolby I wouldn't want to give you the wrong impression of retail in the UK, for the most part it is fluff and nonsense with brilliant parties. Unfortunately I sold video games so it was playing Nintendo in the Pub and creepy old men sauntering up to the cash desk and asking if you wanted to attend a Hentai Cosplay LAN party (and no, I'm not making that up).

*shudder*

Also: It freaks me out that people my age still live with their parents (case in point: one of my friends is getting married in June she'll likely still live with her parents for the first few months of married life), people just this side of thirty living with their folks however is just plain wrong.

Also: I don't get local US news, if there's an item about two suspected assassins bludgeoning each other to death outside a showing of Juno could someone possibly send me a link? Cheers.

Irina, hold up and back the truck up. I'm not apologizing... All I am admitting to is being fooled by a marketing scheme into going to watch a terrible, poorly made film. While, granted, it was an original idea and presentation, it was effing horrible. There wasn't a moment of true suspense in the entire thing until about the last 90 seconds. That is in no way enough to save a movie.

Now...if you go see 27 Dresses, your ass had better be prepared to grovel.

PissBoy, sorry to say this but of course I will see 27 Dresses, otherwise how will I be able to cheer and cry and beg poor Cyclops to marry the woman and give her true meaning in life? Since all a girl can be is married/single! I just LOVE the premise of this movie! Preparing to grovel, starting... now!

And for the record I was mostly reffering to the fact that I felt like I had to appologize for liking movies that most people here don't, not making an observation about anyone in particular. But don't mind me, I'm having a bad day today. Work sucks horribly terribly and endlessly.

Absolutely, work is a hellish torture but unfortunately it pays the rent and keeps me in ink and DVDs so unfortunately it's one I have to endure.

I will also see 27 Dresses but it will be a purely acadmic exercise and I certainly won't enjoy it. Probably.

More importantly: I get to see Juno this evening. Huzzah!!! I'm so excited I actually did a happy dance on my chair when I heard the news. Yeah, I'm sad. I know it.

No worries Irina. AT least you picked up on my problem with 27 Dresses and that insufferable bitch Katherine Heigl. So ummm...yeah...she talks shit about Judd Apatow and Knocked Up after she wraps saying it's not a good portrayal of women because she was relying on an immature man to get her through blah, blah, blah. Now she does 27 Dresses. This is where I hit the bullshit buzzer and just walk away. Otherwise...I'm gonna cut her.

Pissboy, Skankcancer needs to and deserves to be cut, shanked, whatever. Let me know when you do it, I will happily provide an aliby. We're close enough in proximity to make it believable. (and drinks are on me that night!)

Word.

Julie, if you went to college out here it must have been either Montco, GMC, Beaver (Or it's Arcadia now right?), Temple, or PSU Abington. Thre's not much more out this way. Maybe DelVal, but that's like 40 mins north.