Pajiba

I see my future and it is struggling for 2+ hours in a movie theatre trying not to laugh at the wrong times and also keep my dinner down. This is the just desserts I get for subjecting my girlfriend to my "weird and boring" Netflix queue as well as the constant influx of sports. I will shoulder my penance though and somehow end up winning a few brownie points.

Really? Jude Law is charming in this one? Every time I see a trailer for this (and believe me, it's every 20 fucking seconds lately) I think to myself, "God, when did Jude Law become a greasy molesterish looking guy?" He's never been high on my list of actors I'd "shag", but eh, at least he's better eye candy than Jack Black.

...and don't even get me started on how many times I've heard Jack Black sing that irritating "AAAARRRREEEE YOUUUUUUU EMBARRRASSSSEED????????" line in that damn trailer. Makes me want to throw my damn TV out the window.

Wow - I'm going to make what will probably be an unpopular comment. I find Cameron D. ridiculously appealing and charismatic onscreen and in interviews. She's a girl who knows her limitations, and I appreciate that. You never see her trying to play a refugee or a mathmetician or anything like that(that she was a surgeon in "Something About Mary" wasn't really her fault). She does cute, funny, and energetic really well and hasn't really tried to convince us that she's actually a thespian. She gets bashed a lot and I really don't know why.

God, I couldn't agree with you more about Cameron Dick-ass. She is unattractive, unappealing, untalented, greasy, pimply and WAAAAAAAY too stuck on herself. Couldn't. Hate. Her. More.

But, I do love Kate Winslet, Jude Law and Jack Black. And yes, for all the complaints I have heard about this....schlubs like Jack Black CAN end up with beautiful women like Kate Winslet if they are genuine, funny, and really give a damn about her.

I am a Bridget Jones kind of girl, so I am sure I will see this....if for no other reason than to throw popcorn at the screen every time pimply-ass appears.

...that damned femininity always rears its mascara-laden, L'Oreal lipsticked head, at least in Nancy Meyers' films.

It's not really femininity, but emotional dependency, which is equally unappealing in both genders. Still, I believe women have been socialized more strongly towards it than men. So it's particularly fustrating for me when people can't let go of that "women can't help but look for boyfriends to be happy" mentality, even if it's only to make it work as a plot point in a movie.

Thank you for trying to understand the feminist implications, Dustin. I bet there's going to be a lot of uppity commenters on this page who won't appreciate the effort.

I read it on some website, but I can't remember which one, BUT I now realize that I hate Cameron Diaz because every interview she's ever done was all about how much she likes to eat and curse. As if this made her "real" somehow. Ugh.

I'm very pleased to hear Jude isn't nearly as creepy in this film. Don't get me wrong. I think he's a pretty talented actor, and I was fairly obsessed with him and Sienna for a while, but the man has the smile of a rapist.

I am the sort of girl that will stop and watch Love, Actually and any other fluffy, heart-warming Working Title film every time they show one on TV, and I love Kate Winslet more than life itself, but there's nothing at all exciting about this film. It looks too ...sappy, too sentimental.

Kate is fabulous, and I have a hard time believing she'd be the unfortunate one to end up with Jack Black (why is it the woman is always the one who has to see beyond the less-attractive outer surface to see the "goodness" inside a man, and that man gets freaking gorgeous Kate Winslet with very little work at all?). Cameron is ...over-employed. Her line/joke deliveries in the ads make me cringe, and her facial expressions seem so inappropriate. It doesn't sit right with me that they would equate Kate with Cameron. That bothers me a lot.

while i have no special affection for cameron diaz and don't seek out her work, i have to agree with samantha. she never tries to be something she's not, and that is kind of refreshing.

It's bloody amazing Diaz hasn't been cast in a comic-book film yet; if Ratner wants to invent a character called Gobsmack for the next X-Men installment, look no further than Cameron Diaz, whose dimples offer a porthole into eternal nothingness.

Brilliant.

Thanks MJ, some of us do not appreciate the effort. You make some good points! Females are socialized to look for the emotional in things, guys are socialized to avoid it unless it is "masculine" emotions being represented (such as an amazing touchdown that somehow saves the day). I'm not trying to gender stereotype either, this just tends to be common... pick up any decent text on sociology and gender studies and you'll know what i mean.
I must say I feel for Dustin's wife if these are his views on feminism.

Shit, you said the magic words.

"For a bit, I even remembered why I once liked Jack Black."

I'm screwed. If it's not Orange County or some shit like that and he's likeable and not just over-the-top, I will watch this purely because I have a bizarre love for that man. Not that I saw Nacho Libre or anything, but still. Damn.

In the spirit of the holidays (or "Holiday," if you will), I will say that I love, love, love you guys. Love you #1) For your hatred of Paul Haggis (particularly his addition to Casino Royale) and #2) For your reference to post-structuralism in a film review.

That said, I'll probably still see this movie, because there's almost nothing I like more than a too-cutesy holiday-family-romanticstorywithpuppies movie.

I think I'll wait until I'm stuck at home sick and this is on Lifetime for the umpteenth time before I'll see it.

I saw this last night as part of a special CW-sponsored sneak preview and this review is basically right on, except I didn't find Jude Law nearly so charming and I felt Hugh Grant would have done much better in that role.

I loved the part where he said a line that was something like "When you see my entire package in the light of day, it's not so great," because it made me giggle because I'm 12.

It wasn't such a bad movie, just very bland, but cute as well.

Chick-flicks are kind of like porn, at least to me. They're probably bad for you, they don't make sense, and they reduce relationships to very simple, digestable parts.

That's why when women are tired, or depressed they lean on these comfortable stereotypes. They're feeling needy, and neediness is celebrated in these types of films.

I always thought it was kind of a bum deal, Jude Law for Jack Black.

Lauren

My soft spot for chick flicks just big enough to allow me to sit through maybe half the movie before I can't stand it anymore and fake a seizure. And I'm a feminist but I don't think that's the main reason I hate most chick flicks. They just suck.

Now I'm mad that my boyfriend hasn't taken me to see any shitty movies just because Jessica Alba's in them this year. There's no way I'll be able to see this movie now!

I thought your review was dead on. It's funny...I consider myself to be a feminist as well, but I get sucked into these stupid chick-flicks every time I'm dumped.

I know..I should just suck it up and watch something better--perhaps American Psycho where I can just watch people get killed (..given that movie has feminist issues of its own, but it is trying to make a point among other things).

I love Kate Winslet. I think she's a pretty good role model as a person (I love that she isn't the size of a rail and has curves)..and I like Jack Black.

However, I hate Jude Law (I've never seen a movie where I thought he actually just disappeared into the role--to me its always Jude Law plaaaays :Blank:) and Cameron Diaz.

If only...if ONLY I could just watch the parts with Kate and Jack. That's what I ask for. I would like to choose my chick flick fluff.

...but this is also coming from a girl whos favorite mainstream chick flick is Someone Like You.

So take my opinion with a grain of salt.

Kate:

I don't know how what you say clashes with what I said. I even think it's a good point. If you're trying to say that the reason women enjoy chick-flicks is because they've been socialized to be more finely-tuned to emotions, you're probably right. That doesn't mean some of us can't see through their tropes and become tired of them, specially when people translate the simplistic view of the woman psyche they propagate into real-life dynamics.

The beauty of feminism, in my opinion, is that it gives women choices. One woman can be the "hardcore, Smith College, Indigo-Girls-lovin', third-wave feminists" and another woman can choose to have be the "soft, gooey chick-flick center". She can be as brainy as Mae Jameson or as vacuous as Paris Hilton. She can be a content housewife like Wilma Flintstone or a career gal like Lois Lane. We are not all ONE thing, but many things.

I kept my mouth shut yesterday when this became a topic in the Pajiba Love thread, but I'm crankier today. Why is there such disbelief that a Kate Winslet-looking girl would date a Jack Black-looking guy?
He's not THAT horrid.
Sometimes, even the pretty girls select their mates with a little more concern for personality and a little less concern for superficiality.

Sorry if I rocked anyone's world by revealing that.

Why do I feel like I've seen this movie before? I'm sure that I saw a movie on day-time tv not too long ago with pretty much the same plot. Does anyone know what movie I'm talking about? I can't remember the name and it's driving me crazy.

Thank you Ciji. Your definition of feminism is the same as mine. And in defense of chick flicks, they remind me of all the good parts of adolescence. They touch the same place in my psyche as Sweet Valley High did fifteen years ago. Sure I am all grown up and in a very responsible profession, but a good chick flick flattens out the world for a few hours. Sometimes it is nice to take that break.

i've had a crush on Jack Black since high school. he's a hottie if you ask me. that being said, i really don't like rom-coms, so i won't be seeing this movie.

Jack Black is not horrid. However, I'd like it if more movies, or any movies would pair a good looking guy with an average looking and/or pudgy woman. Matching a schlubby guy with a hot woman does happen in real life, but not at the absurdly high rate that it does on TV and in movies.

Yay, I read Bitch too! Now I wish your wife wrote the reviews. I kid, I kid, I like you guys just fine.

I also like puppies, so perhaps this movie (paired with large amounts of alcohol) could be entertaining?

Oh, and Jude Law looks really greasy and creepy lately. If you do sleep with him, make him take a shower first.

Erm, fantasy sequences? Really? Ew.

"I kept my mouth shut yesterday when this became a topic in the Pajiba Love thread, but I'm crankier today. Why is there such disbelief that a Kate Winslet-looking girl would date a Jack Black-looking guy?
He's not THAT horrid.
Sometimes, even the pretty girls select their mates with a little more concern for personality and a little less concern for superficiality.

Sorry if I rocked anyone's world by revealing that."

Come to New York - these pairings happen all. the. time.

As Bianca R. pointed out, the problem is that it's never, ever, ever the reverse, unless that's the focal point of the entire film (like "Circle of Friends"). If the premise was "You're kind of schlubby and a mess, but you know what? I love you anyway!", then that's fine. I just have a problem with movies acting as though it's perfectly normal to pair a beautiful leading lady with a far-less-so man and NEVER pairing a plain leading lady with a gorgeous guy and leaving it unaddressed.

Ciji, it's true that feminism gives women choices, but just saying "women can do whatever they want!" is kind of oversimplifying matters. The point of feminism is that women can't do whatever they want without getting harassed. For instance, I don't think it's a coincidence that the only genre that women directors seem to work in regularly is the romcom, which is, it's easy to see (even based on this review) a pretty ghetto-ized genre.

And Dustin: I'm pretty sure you were trying to be as sensitive as you could, but your implication that feminist women have "gooey" romcom loving centres reads pretty demeaningly: it kind of says "they may claim that they are for equal rights and fair representation in the media, but deep down, they all just wanna watch Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks fall in love." I'm sure that wasn't what you were going for, but that's certainly how it comes off.

(Full disclosure: I am feminist, and reader of Bitch, but when I am worn out or down in the dumps, I will absolutely bust out even the cheesiest of studio-era Hollywood musicals. This does not mean that watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers expresses anything deep about my personality, it just means that I want to watch something silly.)

Is it too late for spelling/grammar comments? If not:

Matty, it's "just deserts." Deserts are what you deserve. It's nothing to do with dessert.

It's bloody amazing Diaz hasn't been cast in a comic-book film yet...

She has been cast in a comic-book film: "The Mask." However, she still looked like a regular person back then.

The Jack Black/Kate Winslet pairing--I think whole reason it is subconsciously unnerving is because as I said before, Kate Winslet is supposed to be average. She's supposed to be Jack Black's equal in the looks department.

Jack Black actually looks like an average man you may meet. Kate Winslet looks like a glamorous movie star who weighs maybe ten or fifteen pounds more than your regular glamorous movie star.

It's insulting to imply she'd not be pretty enough to bag Jude Law.

The reality disconnect in Hollywood is so high that no one seems to notice Law was actually fucking a girl who is not as cute as Jack Black.

Normal women get it on with beautiful men all the time as well, but as another person posted above, it is never represented.

I think that's the reason people are so mad. Or at least, that is the reason I am mad.

As a side note, I think Jack Black is adorable, specifically because of his averageness.

"Normal women get it on with beautiful men all the time as well, but as another person posted above, it is never represented.

I think that's the reason people are so mad. Or at least, that is the reason I am mad."

Yes.

You missed one of the most important questions for a chick flick: How's the soundtrack?

I must take issue with your twice using Who's Got Mail as a placeholder for generic chick flick. Please don't give it even that much credit. I appreciate your acknowledging that it's not the good Nora Ephron film, but it's much worse than that. It's one of the most joy-killing remakes ever. And to make it "contemporary," Ephron even added in a profoundly anti-feminist storyline - "Well, you're putting me out of business. But we're in love (or at least dating). So it's okay." Aggh.

Eli Wallach? Really? If he doesn't say "If God didn't want them sheared, he would not have made them sheep", then I'm not interested. God I love that movie.

Back on topic... Ann, I, too and addicted to Love, Actually, but you couldn't pay me to watch this. And I have what some have called an unhealthy attraction to Kate Winslet.

"Erm, fantasy sequences? Really? Ew."

Dude, fantasy sequences that are played like movie trailers. That sucked.

When I feel the need for a feel good love story Before Sunrise and Emma are always winners. I'm suprised to see Kate Winslet in this kind of thing. What is up with that? She usually makes such good choices. The woman who acted in Jude, Hideous Kinky and Heavenly Creatures can do way better. I'm pretty sure Cameron Diaz is an actual robot. Whether or not that's true, she can't act for shit and doesn't have the charisma needed to pull it off anyway.

It is completely accurate that average women get together with beautiful men and it's not represented in the arts or popular culture. The viewing public doesn't like to see it. A beautiful female friend of mine lived with a very ordinary looking, unfit bloke and people took a "She's so nice and down to earth to date that guy when she's so hot" viewpoint of their pairing. This kind of thing is all over the place. Yet when my parents, as parents do, show my wedding picture to folks who don't know us, they often encounter suprise at how very handsome he is and queries if I was pregnant, they just couldn't fathom a beautiful man marrying a plain girl, purely for love. The imagery of a couple like us isn't out there in popular culture.

When I feel the need for a feel good love story Before Sunrise and Emma are always winners. I'm suprised to see Kate Winslet in this kind of thing. What is up with that? She usually makes such good choices. The woman who acted in Jude, Hideous Kinky and Heavenly Creatures can do way better. I'm pretty sure Cameron Diaz is an actual robot. Whether or not that's true, she can't act for shit and doesn't have the charisma needed to pull it off anyway.

It is completely accurate that average women get together with beautiful men and it's not represented in the arts or popular culture. The viewing public doesn't like to see it. A beautiful female friend of mine lived with a very ordinary looking, unfit bloke and people took a "She's so nice and down to earth to date that guy when she's so hot" viewpoint of their pairing. This kind of thing is all over the place. Yet when my parents, as parents do, show my wedding picture to folks who don't know us, they often encounter suprise at how very handsome he is and queries if I was pregnant, they just couldn't fathom a beautiful man marrying a plain girl, purely for love. The imagery of a couple like us isn't out there in popular culture.

I apologize in advance for usurping a pop culture review site (that I love) to make a comment on gender politics, but it's an issue I take seriously. It really, really, really bothers me that so many people continue to insist that power is intrinsically incompatible with personal qualities traditionally characterized as "feminine."

I am an attorney and I can kick anyone's ass in the courtroom. I also get weepy at Hallmark commercials. I can move my own furniture and I also like frilly lingerie. I can't stand listening to people's problems unless there's at least one possible solution on the table; but I love to gossip. I can't stand it when they put distracting romantic nonsense into action movies. But, a movie intended to be a romance -- I'm all over that. If you think that because I cried when I watched Love, Actually, I'm somehow less of a threat in the courtroom, you are vastly mistaken.

I've never had to choose between being empowered and being feminine. Perpetuating the idea that displaying feminine aspects of one's personality is somehow incompatible with strength and empowerment is really the height of sexism.

I think Jack Black is hot. I have been in love with that guy for years. Yes, he can be annoying when carrying his own movie, but with the right vehicle (School of Rock), he is totally charming.

I have a girlfriend who is married to a quiet, thoughtful man who is Jack Black's clone. Sometimes I suspect that is why she married him.

All this talk about couples with mismatched looks makes me suspect that some of the posters live in Hollywood. Most women who chose men that are less "hot" than they, do so for some other very important reason...like charm. Wit and personality trump textbook hotness everytime. I have known gorgeous women who have sworn off beautiful men at their "level", only to marry the quirky dork next door. No one can make you laugh like the quirky dork next door. And when a woman's beauty fades, as it inevitably does, hopefully, she has the intellectual chops to keep that charming man interested.

Jude Law DOES look like a creepy child molestor, and doesn't seem to add much to his roles. He and Cameron seem like they would make a good acting pair.

I can't wait to see the chemistry between Jack and Kate. I think that both of them are far from "plain".

However, I'd like it if more movies, or any movies would pair a good looking guy with an average looking and/or pudgy woman.

Oh, but Bianca, it DID happen. In My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Of course, the actress had to write it herself, but it counts.

At any rate, I love Winslet, would fuck Law until his head fell off, and have a sick thing for Jack Black (with the exception of Nacho Libre, of course), but I'm not enough into chick flicks to sit through this. At least until it's out on DVD.

;)

By the way, Ann, you're wrong, and Matty is right.

It IS, in fact, "just desserts".

Um, no, thatgirl. Going to have to go with Ann on this one.

"Just deserts" explained at: www.randomhouse.com/wotd/index.pperl?date=19990223.

HA! Dammit! I even looked it up.

My intarwebz sources SUCK.

Oh, but Bianca, it DID happen. In My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Wait....John Corbett is considered hot? Alrighty then. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder, as I think he's as average as they come. That's not a bad thing, but he's not good-looking by my definition at all. Different strokes for different folks.

I don't consider myself a feminist, but other than the romcoms I liked as a little girl or teen (i.e. Pretty Woman), I'm just not into the genre anymore. Give me a good action flick, comedy, or thriller any day of the week and twice on Sunday. I'd rather watch Batman, The Animated Series than some chick flick. This can probably be said about movies in any genre, but it's too predictable and trite, and if I'm rolling my eyes so much that I'm about to pull a muscle, it's probably best for me not to watch it.

Also, how the hell did Christian Bale get grouped with a bunch of potential romcom leads? One of the reasons I love him is because he doesn't seem to be that kind of actor. Has he ever even done a movie like that? God, I hope not. CB, don't go there. Please.

Okay Pajiba, this is the second movie in one day that I had no intentions of seeing but now want to watch. You people are determined to get me out of the house this weekend.
While this wasn't a glowing review, the promise of Kate Winslet, Jack Black and Jude Law is poking me to go see it. My kinda chick flick is more Pride and Prejudice (dreeeeeeaaammmyyyy) than You've Got Mail (want to stab all concerned with a fork), but I do have a soft spot for Kate and the J's.

Am I the only woman who hates romatic comedies (even if they're supposedly good), think puppies smell and dry-retch over hallmark cards? I also find feminists who compromise their principles to get a man even more loathsome.

This "all women REALLY want" crap really annoys me. How the hell do you know what 55% of the world's population really craves? We're all individuals - male or female - and I think a lot of the desire western women have for "romance" is socialised - i.e. we're somehow inadequate without a man. Either way, it's not fair to lump us all in together as going weak-kneed over a "sensitive" man. What a load of gibberish. I have never enjoyed a romantic movie in my life - and no, I don't have a penis, in fact I've never had one.

You say in the review "Clearly, I make no judgments (nor do I assume the few speak for the many)" and then procede to attempt to do just that - "but I do get the sense that even the grrrliest of womyn are willing to put aside their post-structuralist views on sexuality for a few hours when a sensitive Jude Law (John Cusack? Christian Bale?) character is concerned." And later, "I would, however, strongly recommend leaving your masculine counterpart at home" - not content with stereotyping women, you're having a go at men too.

This is not to say that women or men can't enjoy a romantic movie either. My boyfriend loves the Princess Bride and it, well, left me kinda cold. We're all individuals - I don't see how this "feminists are all really girly" argument contributed to your review.

Also, did anyone else note that the review focused an awful lot on Cameron's physical unnattractiveness, even though she is clearly no uglier than Jack Black? Yet his appearance wasn't mentioned once. And nor should it have been - it's not relevant. I hate how supposed feminists attack another woman's appearance at the slightest provocation. Criticise her acting ability by all means, but to do otherwise is sexist.

It's a Cameron Diaz movie. Cameron Diaz movies should've stopped being made five years ago.

Thank you, Dustin, for bringing up the shitfest that was "You've Got Mail". Such overrated garbage. I just wanted to kick Meg Ryan in the face.

I really like Kate Winslet and Jack Black. Kate is one of the best actresses out there, and she's beautiful to boot. Jack is hilarious and has real depth, so the pairing could actually work. It's nice to see Kate do some comedic acting anyway; supposedly she was great in "Extras".

Jude Law is ok in small doses (Cold Mountain) but Cameron Diaz is awful. The only thing I liked her in "Any Given Sunday." She actually displayed some talent there. Otherwise, I could do without her so called "acting" and that braying laugh of hers.

wow, when I read the first paragraph, then saw 48 comments, I was really anticipating the nuclear apocalypse of all flame wars. But so far this discussion thread has remained fairly civil. Come on people! Keep me entertained in lieu of writing this cursed final exam.

Because there's no more worthwhile cause of procrastination than watching absurdly articulate people insult each other in real-time. Sand in vaginas? Anyone?

PS props for the riot grrrl reference. I'm pretty much the only male on the planet who adores Kathleen Hannah.

Author's note: OK, so I bit off a bit more than I could chew here, and inartfully said some things that have made a wrong impression. Sarah, your comment is great, and I couldn't agree more. I was trying to play with some stereotypes in a playful and hopefully fun way, but not to suggest that the "traditional" binary gender characteristics are anything but constructions.

That "author's note" sounds highly suspect. Doesn't sound anything like our dear little Dustin.

Heads up from a gal who does like "romcoms"(Even You've Got Mail, and ESPECIALLY Love, Actually) - I found Cameron Diaz and Jude Law to be nearly intolerable throughout this film(and they are the main story line), but Kate Winslet and Jack Black were really pretty awesome. Black definitely delivered what I felt was the most romantic line of the film, although it was probably the ADORABLE children in the movie that sold me in the end.

"But, of course, neither woman -- both of whom proclaim they want nothing more to do with men -- can live without a male love interest..."

That's pretty much the reason why I'm not going to see this. Isn't it enough to have an overseas adventure without getting involved with a guy? Or, how about just having a fun but shallow vacation fling?

But I hated the ending to You've Got Mail, too.

I have always found that rom-coms are absurd and an unnecessary part of the world. So it is with little surprise that I will watch them when I am not rockin' out on Guitar Hero or watching my KC Chiefs disappoint me again (damn you football gods!!!!)...yes, I am the adorable dork next door. I'm a champion at D and D and a whiz at minesweeper. Not quite fluent in Klingon, but I can kick javascript's ass anyday. And I could have any girl in the world that I wanted. This is not arrogance, this is simple fact. And the funny thing is, I do not have to be fake. I am that I am. I am as much an Adonis as Jack Black is. That is what sucks me into this dreck time and again. Because if Jack Black can end up with Kate Winslet, what is stopping me from ending up with the hot blonde in the choir? As pathetic as it may be, I derive a small bit of my confidence with women from movies like this. Yes it is fictional, but fiction can provide excellent inspiration.

No worries, ScarletKnight! You can get the girl!

good luck,
Moderately cute girl dating the adorable dork from across town

As for the film, I have no intention of seeing this. Hell, even my ridiculously big girl crush on Kate couldn't get my bum into a Cameran Diaz movie. If Helena Bonham Carter were in it, I would reconsider.

Daphne: For saying you would watch Batman:TAS than a chick-flick, I ask for your hand in marriage.

ScarletKnight: Rock on, fellow D&D dork. Rock on. I confess, such films give me a twinge of optimism that I can find someone like that.

And is it me, or did Jude Law indeed end up with the unattractive girl? ;)

I am going to add my paultry and possibly misinformed tow little cents in. I believe it was mentioned earlier how people can accept that a beautiful woman being with a schlub, but are mystified when a handsome man mates with a woman cosnsidered to be less desireable.

I think that comes from assumed gender roles on both sides. Women are expected to look beyond the surface and see the real person. They are not allowed to be shallow. They can be attracted to 'hunks', but these men must have more to them than looks. The "Beauty and the Beast" conundrum, if you will. Men, on the other hand, have to only be concerned wth the physical attraction, and the woman he is attracted to must be attractive to other men as well. We must slob and slaver over women like pieces of meat. Anything to the contrary is considered abberant. Of course, real life does not work that way.

Feel free to buck the trend. Women, go find a man-whore and have your selfinsh fun. Guys, feel free to actually care about more than a hot body. Besides, if people think you having an attractive significant other is just so weird, they are probably jealous.

I mentioned this the other day, and I think ecp did a fine job explaining this point of view, but just to emphasize - I do not have a problem with Kate Winslet ending up with Jack Black. No problem whatsoever. I DO have a problem if we are supposed to "read" Winslet as average-looking or unattractive or anything along those lines. That is simply ridiculous and insulting to both her and the audience. Beautiful women certainly can be attracted to and date "average-looking" men. As mentioned already, though, it never (or at least rarely) happens the other way around in film/TV and Winslet often isn't acknowledged as the stunning woman that she is.

"Also, did anyone else note that the review focused an awful lot on Cameron's physical unnattractiveness, even though she is clearly no uglier than Jack Black?"

I did note that and would like to take this one step further. Are you people on frigging crack? Listen, I think Jack Black is hilarious and 100% agree that you can't take your eyes off of him when he's onscreen - he's that charismatic. I can absolutely seeing feeling an attraction to him. However, there's a reason boyfriend plays schlubby messes to a T (like in "School of Rock", in which he was pure, pure genius). That reason is that he kind of is a schlubby mess. Cameron Diaz may not be one's cup of tea - she has an unusual look for Hollywood and, to many people's schadenfreudistic glee, is alleged to have imperfect skin. However, to say that Jack Black is better-looking than she is or to deem her ugly is flat-out absurd. I'm not going to list her attributes because I think that's a bit tedious, but Justin Timberlake has his pick of the damn litter and is with Cameron D., who is also several years his senior. I don't think it's because she's so ugly.

I think that posters are siding with the underdog (Black), and I think that's great. It's my instinct, too. However, in coming down so hard on Cameron Diaz's appearance, you're not being friends of women - you're simply holding a female to a far, far higher beauty standard than you're holding a male.

The ascent of Paris Hilton signaled the death of feminism. Or, at the very least, a coma from which it may never awaken.

Hey, I've got to disagree with you about Ms. Diaz. What does it matter whether I find her or Jack Black more or less attractive? The point is, I think she's hideous--her physical appearance, her behavior, what little I can see of her personality.

I do think it's sexist to hold women to higher standards of attractiveness than men (a *huge* problem, in Hollywood and the real world). But Diaz is an actress by profession. She makes a living with her face and her behavior. And both of those things viscerally repulse a lot of people.

We don't dislike her because she's female. We dislike her because she just isn't very likeable, and comes across as totally up her own ass.

Samantha T: I think part of the appeal she has for Justin is that they hump like bunnies (allegedly) and she is in no rush to get married.

Regarding the part about feminists: Do you remember that old cartoon about the French (xenophobia!) skunk who chases after the cat (sexual harrassment! sexual assual!) while she flees from him? As a kid, you have laugh at it. And even when you're an adult - even after your own experiences with sexual harrassment and even you're an out and proud feminist - that shits still with you. And unless you go back and consider each and every one of the hundreds of thousands of negative influence you experience, you'll get the disconect with feminists that you noticed.

Editting my comment, the disconect doesn't happen with all feminists all the time.

I'm always troubled by this definition of "feminism" as an all-inclusive embrace of anything and everything any woman "chooses" to do. As Brenda pointed out, it's greatly oversimplifying matters, I'd say to the point of rendering the meaning of feminism virtually meaningless and totally irrelevant. While I truly wish it were irrelevant -- I wish we lived in a world where women were on a completely equal par with men -- I don't think we're there yet. Far from it. Maybe never will be. Having said that, I never had any strong feelings about Cameron Diaz one way or the other, so I don't understand the depth of hate for her or Renee Zellweger or any other of these 30+ actresses whose faces are showing the harsh effects of time (in defiance of all the chemical peels and Botox and Restylane they may have had). It seems like 10 years ago they were everybody's darling, and now they're everybody's old-ugly-bitch, which only reinforces the problem of age-appropriate casting in movies. So many comments on Pajiba have focused on the dissonance of pairing a young and unequivocally beautiful woman with a much older average-looking guy (Michael Douglas/Sharon Stone, Owen Wilson/Rachel McAdams, Ed Norton/Jessica Biel, etc, etc). Although I personally find Jack Black more appealing than Jude Law (I'm a chubby-chaser), pairing him with Kate Winslet does seem ridiculous, bordering on offensive. Can we all agree that this is one "choice" filmmakers make that is NOT "feminist?"

Daphne: For saying you would watch Batman:TAS than a chick-flick, I ask for your hand in marriage.

Oh my, how flattering, Vermillion! Nice to know that my weirdness is not off-putting for some.

Another chick here: I don't understand the hatred for Diaz. I mean, hate her if you want, it's still a free country, but she's just an actress. She's not the president or the head of the FBI, she can't force you to watch her movies or violate your constitutional rights.

RE Jude Law: I've never thought he was that hot. He looks like an elf, and not in a good way.

I know the whole point of a movie review is to review what's on the screen, but I try to resist drawing larger, general sociological conclusions from what we see in movies and on TV. Movies, especially, since they are for the most part written, directed, edited and produced by men to appeal to what people have been trained to think they should want. So of course they reflect an extremely exaggerated, idealized, unrealistic view of everything. A movie about normal people who have relatively healthy relationships would be boring, so we get the lame-ass "romantic comedies" where the pathetic chick/guy hates herself/himself because she's/he's alone and goes to ridiculous lengths to get a man/woman who's not worth getting in the first place. She/he wins him/her over by being plucky or dorky or whatever and he/she overlooks her/his weight, looks, job, income, whatever - ie, true love. Barf.

I solve this dilemma by not watching the crap. Most romantic comedies are neither. The woman everyone should hate is Nora Ephron. Cameron Diaz just appears in shitty movies. Nora Ephron is the one who writes and produces them. I'd rather watch Diaz's entire career output than one of Ephron's movies.

It is true that actresses get piled-on at the slightest sign of aging. It's like guys get "character" when they age, but women are old and busted as soon as they lose that "newly-minted" glow. I think it fucking sucks, and is insane.

But I do also have to say that's not the only reason a woman (or a man) can dislike an actress. In fact, it's almost another kind of sexist to assume that the only reason a woman can dislike another woman is petty jealousy. Give people more credit than that. I dislike (not hate) Diaz because she comes across as self-absorbed and obnoxious, not because she's getting older.

And Renee Zellwegger? Don't get me started. Her cold, cold little eyes have freaked me out since I first saw her. No, there are lots of reasons to dislike someone, and not all are superficial.

That said, I will probably see this film. I love Kate Winslet for all the same reasons that I dislike the others.

A movie about normal people who have relatively healthy relationships would be boring,
I read this a lot, but I disagree. I think we're led to believe it is, but I think it's lazy writers and producers. It's probably more difficult to write normal, healthy people because it's easier to write something akin to a trainwreck (you know, can't help but watch sorta thing).

Cameron Diaz never was particularly talented, IMO, but she's not the first or last actress to get by on her looks. Plus, it would seem, in the blogosphere anyway, that the backlash against Cameron has more to do with her perceived attitude - perhaps that contributes to others' perception of her unattractiveness? I also think the general backlash of certain actresses have to do with people being tired of told who the "beautiful people" are, and how you're somewhat less of a person if you're not the pinnacle of perfection shown to us. Personally, I could give a flying fuck, but I know quite a few female co-workers who are constantly chatting about it and talk about others' looks based on what they read in US Weekly. I never ceased to be amazed at how many women are more critical of each other's physical appearance than men seem to be, but I could be well off base about that. For all I know, men also sit in coffee shops and verbally tear women down as they walk down the street.

Perhaps, it's the same chink in the armor that I have when it comes to godawful sports flicks that end with brilliant, film-saving trick plays (had James Cameron tossed in a hook 'n' ladder with DiCaprio's frozen, severed head to the concluding scenes of Titanic, I might have been won over).

You can always count on ol' Dustin to incorporate uncalled for racism into Pajiba.

"For all I know, men also sit in coffee shops and verbally tear women down as they walk down the street."

Well, Daphne, read the comments section on any celeb blogs (if you can stand it) or read the comments on Fark.com for a week (if you can stand it)--they sure do, and for the slightest thing like "man-hands" or crooked toes or being five pounds overweight or five pounds underweight or having "weird eyebrows" or or or... A lot of these commentators are self-identifying as males--many over the age of 25 or 35, so youth's no excuse--and telling us whether or not they would "hit it" based on the slightest imperfection. It actually shocks me, and since the explosion of blog comments sections a few years ago, has revealed to me what's truly in people's hearts (I'm now more of a misanthropist and cynic than ever, thanks!).

Please never assume this is a "woman" thing. I agree with Vi about that being a whole different kind of "sexist"--essentialist, at any rate.

There are certain females actors that rub me the wrong way--there are even more male actors who do, though. I seriously can't watch anything with Travolta, Cruise, Colin Feral, Nic Cage or Ben Affleck--literally, not for years--but I can't think of any female actors who make or break a film for me like that, even the over-exposed and annoying ones. Maybe I'm my own brand of reverse sexism--hey! I don't know.

RE "I read this a lot, but I disagree. I think we're led to believe it is, but I think it's lazy writers and producers. It's probably more difficult to write normal, healthy people because it's easier to write something akin to a trainwreck."

True that; no doubt that Hollywood is lazy and prefers to fall back on the familiar "train wreck of a person redeemed by love" BS then go to the trouble of writing more realistic depictions. Sure, they could do better, but when it's more profitable not to, they're not gonna. Plus, I have to admit, watching people fall apart (onscreen) is often fun, if they do it in an entertaining fashion.

A debate about gender politics and a movie review all on one webpage? I am highly elated by this!

Sarah-I exactly see your points. Thank you!

I think the problem is that in our society there is an inherent notion, or better yet a stereotype, of what a feminist is. When a person hears the word feminist or feminisim, he or she automatically imagines what that person is. Furthermore, most people associate the term feminist with words like domineering, bitch, agressive, or other words that are given a negative connotation when associatied with what society thinks are traditional female attributes. I think it always unfair and extremely sexist that woman have to fall into two dichotomies, either the bitch feminist or the saint,"Sally homemaker." Really, it is only us that create this dichotomy through inaccurate and negative stereotypes of women that are perpetuated through linguistics, the media, and even one's education. It is our own pendantic need to stereotype people that hinders woman from reaching equality in our society. There will always be a glass ceiling for woman as long as the stereotypes for women and even for men exist.

This movie, "The Holiday," and other movies of this ilk only perpetuate the idea that women are obsessed with dating and finding Mr.Right and are never seen as living life fully if they are not attached to some man. God, movies like this are the reason why every fucking holiday with my extended family I get the same "how sad/ pathetic" look or the whole "Don't worry there is a right man for you" talk since I'm not attached to the hip of some man, worrying away sleepless nights about how well our reltionship should be, and thinking about how I could please, cook, or help a guy who, literally in my age bracket, has the emotional and intelligence equivalent of a spoiled three year old boy whose mother still wipes his own ass. Please, if I wanted to live life in a purgatory of my own doing, I would become a Catholic. This being said, I do relish reading Pride and Prejudice annually, and God knows how many times I've watched "Bridget Jones'",the A&E version of "Pride and Prejudice," or "Emma" while drinking a nice glass of wine. This doesn't make me any less a feminist than Betty Friedan. It just shows that I am a multi-faceted individual like most people in this world who enjoys a lot of different things. I just only wish that our society would stop forcing me to choose between femininity and feminisim. There is really no choice since women are inherently both.

As always, a great review, Dustin. Thanks for purposefully trying to start a dialogue about gender politics in your movie review. Sometimes, I think you gentlemen just sit around and think of ways to provoke discussion on the comment thread through your reviews.

I was shocked to see Ed Burns is in this. I must say I thought he was, you know, not alive, anymore.

And he's still getting work?!?!

Please never assume this is a "woman" thing. I agree with Vi about that being a whole different kind of "sexist"--essentialist, at any rate.

Hey, chill. I never said that all women are like that, and I fully admitted that I could be off-base about men not being the same. It's been my experience that it's mainly women who nitpick about others looks, so I'm not sure how sharing my experience is automatically sexist. I don't frequent the blogs mentioned, so now I know. And as GI Joe used to say, knowing is half the battle.

Hey Daphne -

Actually my post was pretty cool-toned, or at least was intended to be. ;) I was addressing the wider group, there, in that section (new paragraph) you pulled out. Will make that clearer next time. Glad you agree!

Gigi -

"I think the problem is that in our society there is an inherent notion, or better yet a stereotype, of what a feminist is. When a person hears the word feminist or feminisim, he or she automatically imagines what that person is."

I wish more people understood this. There are so many "brands" of feminism and so many personality types and "ism" subsets, it makes my head spin. I remember reading one comment on Salon from a Muslim man berating other writers for painting all Muslims with the same brush (as well he should), then turned around and said something about feminists being the problem because of some monolithic behaviour/belief/incarnation we're all supposed to share (I think in this case it was misandry and hatred for the family unit). It was beautifully hilarious and really depressing all at the same time, and pretty much the reason why I held off from calling myself a feminist all through my teens and twenties--hating the perjorative pigeon-hole the word has become.

Daphne: In my crew, that kind of weirdness is a badge of honor.

That kind of leads me to my reason for this post: someone up from this on posited the idea that many men on the blogosphere are ridiculously harsh on some celebrity women for "imperfections" (which is in quotes because I don't think there is anything wrong with them). Unfortunately, that is true. But I am happy to say I am not one of them. I have made fun of certain female celebs, but not (usually) because of any physical reasons, but because of something in their demeanor that upsets me, like Beyonce Knowles' soulless smiles or Paris Hilton's......everything.

While I can find someone like Scarlett Johannsen or Jessica Alba physically appealing, I would probably push them down a flight of stairs to close to someone like Lili Taylor. And Kate Winslet is loads more attractive than Cameron Diaz. For me, as a man, there has to be something more. Something I can connect with. Like Batman: TAS for example. :)

In my experience (limited as it may be), most of those of both sexes who feel they must make such viscious comments are either do it out of spite or, as someone said, tired of being forcefed the idea that certain celebs are the standard for beauty, but are misdirecting their vitriol. They honestly feel that they are doing these people a favor by bringing them down a notch, so to speak.

One thing that really gets to me is the trend of calling women 'fat' that aren't. Kate Winslet is a common target, as well as Scarlett Johannsen, and even Uma Thurman and others. I must have a weird perscription for my glasses becasue I can't see where they would get that from. Of course, I like my women with meat on them.

The problem with feminism is that I am a feminist, and I've studied it in school and I still don't quite know what it means because it is truly hard to understand. It is still an earth shattering idea and to tackle it psychologically or intellectually is deeply off-putting. It is hard to accept at face value... the ideas are altogether TOO complicated for our feeble minds.

Many women that I know have come up with a personal definition of 'feminism' that they don't realize is sexist and limiting and/or stupid. They can be strong, independent and totally unconventional in actual reality, but this doesn't necessarily accord.

I hope that sort of makes sense in light of this review and the rest of the comments. I have no problem with Dustin's opinion or ideas, he seems to understand femisim as I see it, as an ideologic system through which to understand culture and history. So, Dustin, I really appreciate your effort to make sense of it! You make a really good point that while this movie looks completely stupid, life will probably deal out a time and place for it to be seen. I also find all the back and forth comments about who is or isn't good looking so irrelevent. I know we can't help it, but who cares!?! I'm so sick of famous actors and the popular perception of beauty. I do respect actors for breaking the mold once in a while, but what I respect much more is the work of a real artist or the character of a strong and thoughtful individual.

johnG just get out of retard class,or you just looking for something to bitch at, like 90%of the so called ladies that comment here. ITS NOT THAT CHINK, DINK.. wake up dog

I was addressing the wider group, there, in that section (new paragraph) you pulled out. Will make that clearer next time. Glad you agree!

Oh, okay. Thank you for clarifying. BTW, your last paragraph is the very reason I don't call myself a feminist. Not in the mood for pigeon holes.....

Vermillion, thanks for representing the fellas who don't nitpick and, while appreciating the physical attractiveness of a woman, can look past that.

Thanks for the review Dustin (although I'm late to the dance). The fact is that no matter what you do you can never completely fit everyone into a box and you can't please everyone either.

There are pretty girls who will fall for average guys, gorgeous guys who will fall for average girls,geniuses who fall for dim bulbs, gorgeous couples hooking up...the list goes on.

There is no standard theory of feminism that will fit all feminists (as far as I can tell, but I can't even come close to claiming expert status).

As someone noted earlier "different strokes for different folks". I can't stand chick flicks but I'm a sucker for a good historical romance novel and martial arts films. That's the way I'm built, plus the romance novel is a DAMN easy read and a good way to destress the brain after a rough week...for me at least.

Some people need a feel good movie, others chocolate. C'est la vie.

I agree with Sarah to the extent that I see myself (and other women I know) as being both powerful and feminine. But I also agree with some of the other posters that this is not how most women are actually perceived and treated--especially in movies. So in terms of how American (Western?) culture sees feminists, and women more generally, Sarah's statement is more aspirational than descriptive.

It will be a good day when it isn't considered a contrast for a woman who holds power in society to also like "girly" things. The more of us who live our lives ignoring the idea that it's contradictory, the faster everyone else will forget those false dichotomies.

That reminds me, I have to add subscriptions to Bitch and Bust to my Christmas list . . .

Dustin, will you please do a mulligan for blood diamond?

The reason you only see young, attractive women with much older or far less attractive men in TV and movies, and never the reverse, is because a "real man" should be interested in sex (that is to say, the stereotypically sexually attractive female), and women in feelings.

These ideas are so deeply ingrained that their being bent is a source of absurdist humour, as in the common lowbrow comedic scene of a man getting drunk and hooking up with a "hilariously" overweight lady. His appearance has absolutely nothing to do with the equation. The men actively police each other on only being seen with appropriately attractive women.

Women, of course, are soft and can be wiled by any man who presents himself as being suitably sensitive. Who cares what he looks like? She, of course, is always attractive; she must be, since there's a man after her. And if she weren't sexy, his buddies would never let him live it down.

Does anyone remember Shallow Hal?

I feel the exact same way about Jack Black, he really was great in High Fidelity, he stole the show actually, because he can be so damn sarcastic and self-deprecating when he's given smaller roles that really highlight his talents. And now he's this bombastic idiot who doesn't shut up when he has to carry a film. I hate romantic comedies, cannot sit through one unless it's like Eternal Sunshine or Punch Drunk Love, it has to be quirky and have something going for it. So I think I'll pass on this one...the Cameron Diaz thing makes me want to vomit, although I do love me some Kate Winslet!

To add to what's already been said -
a. No, there's no one definition of feminism, but there sure are plenty who think they have one, and the first thing they do is excommunicate everyone else. Do all Smith grads hate Camille Paglia? Are they supposed to? On what grounds?
On another thread (not in Pajiba) I joined in a discussion of what constituted date rape, and let me tell ya, it took about 2 seconds for people like myself who were just raising questions, to be labelled 'rape apologists' and worse. No one group has the golden key to feminism, but those who think they do are ready to tar any who disagree with them with the blackest of brushes. There is no having a conversation with these people, and so you think, well, fuck it, if I have to talk to you, it'll be about the weather.
Women who see themselves as feminists but disagree with how these other groups comport themselves, often say something like "I'm not THAT kind of feminist," ie "I wouldn't put your name up on a college bathroom wall because you, having a penis, are a 'potential rapist,' and the two of us can discuss issues without me spinning out."
b. Hard-driving professional into frilly lingerie? Sounds like heaven to me. HOTTEST THING IN THE WORLD - to watch her win a court case, then taking her home, peeling off the court suit, and finding garter belt + frilly bra underneath. Bla-dow!
c. In my experience, much of it in health clubs where I've worked for a long time, is that women call other women 'fat' more than men do, and for way different standards. I've heard tons of women describe a girl with a J Lo ass as 'fat' - men almost universally said something like 'too fine, maybe, but not too fat.' Popular female fashion mags, as well as stuff like First and Shape, use way-too-skinny models in their ads and articles.
d. Oh yeah, we were talking about movies, right? Diaz isn't ugly, but girlfriend needs to eat more fried food. She looks like she went to Las Vegas and literally lost her ass. She does try to ally herself with worthy causes, however, so props for that.

Paternalizing sexism ahoy! Looks like we need another mulligan from Dustin.

NO MORE MULLIGANS. That one mulliganed review was the only one that ever needed it--and only because you veered off your "tried and true" style. Both the Blood Diamond review and this one are GREAT :)

I'm not sure if this has been the discussion of feminism v. sexism in the movies that it could have been, but, what the hell, I'll throw in a couple of cents. First, it shouldn't be such a leap for Dustin to reconcile his wife's feminist intellectual side and her romantic feminine side after sharing with us his new-found man-love for Jude and Jack in this seemingly contrived compound "chick flick". I think his objections to the flaws in this particular film reveal a deeply hidden affinity for the romantic comedy genre that is universally disrespected by critics and the film industry hoi polloi, but held near and dear to the hearts of movie-goers everywhere (male as well as female). Why the disrespect? It was a long drought in Oscar-ville between It Happened One Night (1934) and Shakespeare in Love (1998); where is the love for When Harry Met Sally or A Fish Called Wanda or, God forbid, Pretty Woman. It seems it's always much easier for the Academy to reward the drama and tragedy of unrequited love, even when wrapped in comedic overtones like Annie Hall, musical fantasy like My Fair lady, or much darker subtexts like Midnight Cowboy.

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Love and Death (1975)

Can't we all just get along?

Oh, and by the way, I feel obligated to give props to Cameron Diaz for those occasions when she plays against type (Very Bad Things, Being John Malkovich), when she lampoons her own media-enhanced bimbo image (There's Something About Mary, Charlie's Angels), and when she's just plain nuts (A Life Less Ordinary). I happen to think she's pretty damn attractive, not just in that not-surgically-enhanced pinup kind of way, but especially when she's working with a director who knows when to tone down the 1,000 watt smile and let her act and react to the other estimable actors around her (In Her Shoes).

Remember, if your partner laughs while you're making love, you must be doing something right.

I'm not sure if this has been the discussion of feminism v. sexism in the movies that it could have been, but, what the hell, I'll throw in a couple of cents. First, it shouldn't be such a leap for Dustin to reconcile his wife's feminist intellectual side and her romantic feminine side after sharing with us his new-found man-love for Jude and Jack in this seemingly contrived compound "chick flick". I think his objections to the flaws in this particular film reveal a deeply hidden affinity for the romantic comedy genre that is universally disrespected by critics and the film industry hoi polloi, but held near and dear to the hearts of movie-goers everywhere (male as well as female). Why the disrespect? It was a long drought in Oscar-ville between It Happened One Night (1934) and Shakespeare in Love (1998); where is the love for When Harry Met Sally or A Fish Called Wanda or, God forbid, Pretty Woman. It seems it's always much easier for the Academy to reward the drama and tragedy of unrequited love, even when wrapped in comedic overtones like Annie Hall, musical fantasy like My Fair lady, or much darker subtexts like Midnight Cowboy.

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Love and Death (1975)

Can't we all just get along?

Oh, and by the way, I feel obligated to give props to Cameron Diaz for those occasions when she plays against type (Very Bad Things, Being John Malkovich), when she lampoons her own media-enhanced bimbo image (There's Something About Mary, Charlie's Angels), and when she's just plain nuts (A Life Less Ordinary). I happen to think she's pretty damn attractive, not just in that not-surgically-enhanced pinup kind of way, but especially when she's working with a director who knows when to tone down the 1,000 watt smile and let her act and react to the other estimable actors around her (In Her Shoes).

Remember, if your partner laughs while you're making love, you must be doing something right.

For anyone interested in the topic, I recommend a book called "Ceasefire" by Cathy Young.

http://www.cathyyoung.net/books.html

Even in light of vastly different socialization received by boys and girls, there are greater differences among individual men and individual women than between the two genders as classes.

It's not so much that I see myself as both feminine and powerful, but that I have a unique combination of qualities traditionally considered feminine (nurturing, empathic, emotional) and qualities traditionally considered male (logical, principled, linear thinking, etc.). In my experience, most people do.

I just don't think empowerment necessarily correlates with a high proportion of qualities traditionally considered masculine. I think you find empowered individuals with all kinds of combinations of masculine and feminine qualities.

I don't even like to use the words "masculine" and "feminine," because the most you can say is that certain personality characteristics have traditionally been considered one or the other. But, for any characteristic, you will find plenty people of either gender who has it.

By the by, the science seems to show that both men and women prefer to be in relationships, but men's happiness is more dependent than women's upon being in a relationship. Don't mistake me: I don't think it's ever wise to use statistics, even sound statistics, to make assumptions about any specific individual. But, my point is that when you really look at the facts, not all of our stereotypes stand up to scrutiny.

I agree with ranyit that every woman should try reading the comments on Fark for one week. Really. These are the secret thoughts of the guys you work with, the guys you want to date. It might change the way you feel about men forever. It might even give proudly pro-porn feminists pause. The gleeful, utterly hateful misogyny on there, the relentless picking apart of every single intimate physical detail of every single woman... is sickening.

Also in the movie Jack Black had another really attractive girlfriend (Shannon Sossamyn). This has been something that has been talked about for ages. Women are just more personality driven. That's why we go for the geeks and "schlubby" guys. And maybe for some it is an insecurity issue. Or how you were raised. For me, I would say that it is an insecurity issue. I do find Jude Law attractive and in the movie he was very much so, but if I had to choose I would have chose Jack Black out of the two. 1 because of the caddish way that attractive men are allowed to act by the media, etc. 2 I prize a sense of humor above all else. But that has only to do with me and my background and what I have gone through. I can't speak for anyone else. I found Jack Black very entertaining in this movie. And I can see why Kate Winslet would go for him. What seemed a little unrealistic was that she got over her 4 year "unrequited" love of Rufus Sewell in like 1 second. That was a little crazy. But it was a feel good movie and it did the job for me. It took me away from reality for 2 hours. That's why I go to movies in the first place.

I feel compelled to mention that I was so bored during The Holiday that my male counterpart and I took a cigarette break and didn't miss anything. However, the other man on the double date loved it. People, right?

Now I am a sixteen year old girl, who giggled ah the puppy, will helplessly drool over jude law and having just ended a long relationship was seriously in need of a feel-good rom com.

That film was absolute bullshit.

I just remembered that I left halfway through to pick up my phone before the shops shut (how the hell was I to know it'd go on for fucking 2 and a quarter hours) and I can't remember missing anything significant.

And not nearly enough of Jude Law topless. Their relationship was the most unconvincing thing ever- she's just 'Yeah I don't like foreplay' and he's just like 'I love you'. YEAH. RIGHT.

Daphne, you're probably long gone, but:

Ha! No, I don't consider John Corbett hot at all, but he probably IS relatively more attractive than Nia Vardalos, or at least more attractive than your average beer-swilling, can-crushing, Hooters-dining American dude would find her.

For the record (and a late one it is), it should be noted that he who picks apart the features of another is insecure in himself. It should also be noted that for every pigeon-toed, man-handed, aging, wrinkled, large-breasted, small-breasted, ghetto-bootyed, weird eyebrowed, unibrowed fatty there are one hundred men who wouldn't mind taking her home. Truth be told, the misogyny is simply the frustration felt by men who just don't get it. Women will always be beautiful and sexy to someone. Men will always want them and will always be dumbfounded when they get turned down for being the jackasses that they are.

Dustin, I think your penance for the very existence of this (granted, overall intelligent) comments thread is to write a well thought out, sincere, Pajiba-worthy column called something like "Pajiba's Guide to the Ten Best Chick Flicks."
Go get writing. We'll be watching for it.

Amen, ScarletKnight! What I'm going to write is going to sound conceited, but it's relevant. My husband is very, very handsome. Tall, Teutonic, athletic, Charles Dana Gibson-inspired face. Male and female co-workers comment on the pictures I have of him in my office. He's prettier than I am. Friends/family protest to the contrary "Oh, Samantha, you're pretty - what are you talking about?", but I know it to be true. It's okay.

My husband is also among the least critical guys of women's appearance that I've EVER had the pleasure of knowing. He never calls women fat, or unibrowed, or short, or flat-chested, or anything. He always thinks I look nice; always likes my clothes; always likes my makeup; never thinks I cut my hair too short. I'm confident it's not just in front of me - he's not really an alter-ego-with-the-friends kind of guy. I think it's because he's never had a moment's insecurity about his own appearance in his life and doesn't feel the need to drag women down. It's counterintuitive, but sometimes you're better off with the straight-up gorgeous guy who's got nothing to prove!

Right On Scarlet Knight! I just printed your quote and hang it in my cubicle at work. It made me smile and is so true! Why do I blame myself when maybe I have a little weight to lose but other than that I am a pretty woman with a great personality and sense of humor. Screw the guys who don't see it. Seriously, you opened my eyes to something I have never thought about. Thanks!

As far as the whole "i'm a feminist but i love gooey hallmark cards and sappy love movies" argument goes: whatever.

Until you realize that you are wearing skirts and heels, wearing makeup and actually take time to do your hair for work because you care about what you LOOK like (whereas men wear suits because its just professional and they wear comfy flat shoes) - you can't wave your Feminist flag proudly. In society right now, women have to put more effort into their appearance because everyone makes us feel as if we're the ones who have to be hunted. And even though society nowadays gives us the whole option of being a Mom AND a working woman- we still have to grapple with the fact that we're taking on both roles and working our asses off everyday. Work just as hard as the husband does, only to come home and do more household work and more child-rearing than he does. This isn't always the case, but it is the majority. And I don't see these women as Feminists. I look at them and laugh because they're just taking it. You can claim to be the smartest hard-working woman in the world, but when you put more interest in your looks/outfits/fashion-savy than the average man- you are not as smart as you could be. It is about choice- and you're STILL choosing to care more about your outer appearance.

That being said- until Cameron Diaz does roles as an actress that are just "Fun" and full of fluff, until she does a role that calls for her to be unattractive and un-quirky (Being John Malcovich aside)...we all have a right to judge her based on her looks. If that's all she is giving us, we're going to take it and run with it.

Correction- I meant "until Cameron Diaz does roles as an actress that AREN'T...."

Love and Death is one of my favorite movies of all time!!!!!!!!

never thought i'd say this, but this movie needed more jack black. Seriously, his only lines sold the movie far more than cameron diaz's craptacular acting did.

Needs- less cameron diaz (especially shots of her in what appears to be a training bra), more jude law, better writing for kate winslet (who is beauuuutiful in every way). Also, randomly, the couples should have been switched: which is a ridiculous thing to walk out of a theater thinking if you've just spent 2 hrs watching the seperate couples "fall in love" .. this movie could have been way more than it was, felt rushed

I know this may sound random, but if you think American Psycho has its own issues regarding feminist, look no further to the fact that it was directed by a woman!

I just saw this movie last night and haven't bothered to read all 109 comments about feminisim.

My first thoughts leaving the theatre were that I had no idea Jude Law was so hot, or that Cameron Diaz sucked so much. Jack Black was not as irritating as usual and Kate Winslet is a better actress than this movie. I didn't buy Kate and Jack as a couple - at all. Oh, and Jude Law is seriously hot. Smokin' hot.

And I hated You've Got Mail. Blech.

The Holiday. The trailer tricked us. All of the remotely funny parts (ex/ "accidental boob graze") were already shown. You really didn't need to watch the movie to know what was going on. The only thing about the movie is that I could not stop staring at Jude Law the entire time. This movie's actresses were a huge disappointment. Not a surprise from Diaz, but I expected more from Winslet.

I saw this last night, and, as expected, Cameron Diaz' performance made me want to stab her with a fork. I was extraordinarily irritated by her schtick. How does she keep getting hired?

I did spend a good deal of the time thinking about boning Jude Law, so I'm guessing he did his job, and Jack Black was completely tolerable. They kept the "singing in blockbuster" bit short; otherwise, I would have had to plug my ears.

Shannon Sossamon was finally well-cast; annoying, superficial and entirely disposable. Nice.

I think I'll always find Kate Winslet charming, and this was no exception. I even forgave her for exclaiming, "Gumption!" nine too many times.

As far as the feminist stuff, I'd like to say that I also despised "You've Got Mail," (though I'm generally opposed to bastardizations and public misinterpretations of Jane Austen's excellent work) but I tolerated this movie. It wasn't expansive enough to focus on the women's overall lives; we know they had good jobs and assume, from aside comments, that they had friends. This focused strictly on their love lives, and as such, we didn't necessarily need their other motivations. I am somewhat disturbed that they kicked as soon as they kicked man to curb/were kicked to curb, they immediately filled the resulting void with other dudes. But, um, we kind of all do that (Jack Black did it here), whether we want to admit it or not. I don't think it's particular to females, either. But that's enough armchair reviewer from me. I'm off to play armchair quarterback (though my young QB acquitted himself quite nicely against the Bengals last night and didn't really need my living-room commentary). Also, I snuck a good deal of wine into the theater last night, so take my comments with a big ol' grain of salt (or a large piece of cork, on which I found myself chewing at one point).

Oh really now:

Did you SEE Vanilla Sky? Cameron Diaz made that movie unwatchable for me. I mean, I stopped watching half-way through so my comments might be a bit premature, but I don't think that part was intended to be all fun n' fluff. I didn't really read the rest of your argument well enough to respond adequately (or are we officially changing it to "adequite"?), but Cameron Diaz can't act. Period. That's pretty much all I have.

A) I'm glad I didn't read the full "feminists may claim X but their DNA dooms them to a love of puppies and mush and trite love stories" before I posted. Christmas morning and the associated chocolate/booze has rendered me unable to respond to such a topic in a manner that would do me credit or serve the board. I mean, my prose above isn't exactly tight.

B) Did anyone else laugh really loudly (and apparently inappropriately) when Lindsey Lohan's trailer came on screen? I was thiscloseto rolling on the floor. Come to think of it, I laughed inappropriately pretty often throughout the movie.

"Did you SEE Vanilla Sky? Cameron Diaz made that movie unwatchable for me."

Vanilla Sky is the worst movie I've ever seen - I'm serious about that. And, yet, I found C. Diaz the only redeeming actor in the entire film. Just loved to hate her. I wanted to throttle Penelope Cruz and her "in our past lives, we were cats", faux deep thinking preciousness.

OK, so like I said, I turned off the movie halfway through, so I may not be entirely qualified to comment ( or perhaps I should trust that my own instinct to turn off tate vile piece of cinema was absolutely correct). But I can say that I hated Cameron Diaz AS Cameron Diaz as opposed to hating her as the character.

i've never seen so much negativity from all these writers (comments) i thought the movie was amazing and beautiful, and romantic, i just dont know what you dont see in it, kate winslet is beautiful, so is cameron...
i mean if you havent got anything nice to say then keep it to yourself...

Macdougall straggling overdose earthliness breweries indignity!topological ... Thanks!!!

PS: Feminism is not "all about choices." It is about the eradication of oppression in all of its forms. If you think that we "dived face down in the muck" so that you could act as vacuous as Paris Hilton, you're basically an asshole (5 cool points if you get the reference).

God site. Thanks!

Just to clarify a couple of facts for my American brethren:

1. Brits no longer say 'shagging' and haven't since Bridget Jones 1. I believe that scriptwriters are under the assumption that Americans find the word quaint and funny, so it is obligatory in any British romcom. I cringe whenever I hear it.
2. It hardly ever snows in London or the surrounding areas (like Surrey). Again, this only occurs in British romcoms.

I watched The Holiday last night, and was utterly flabbergasted at its crapness. And I have an extraordinary high crap-romcom threshold. I was embarrassed for Kate Winset... may she never perform air guitar on film again.