Pajiba

Heehee! About time Dustin delegated some of the crap work, and Stacey, that was a great real-time review. Though next time, you should shoot for belligerent-drunk instead of happy-drunk....That would be amusing....

Seriously, though, 17 bucks?!! Ouch! Glad I don't have offspring (or Pajiban obligation) to drag me to this one!

Our city paper donated about a page to this Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus crud. Pictures of squealing 3(!) to twelve years olds prancing around in garish Jersey Mom outfits while wearing ill-fitting blonde wigs mocked me from the page. I don't get it and my 3 year old certainly doesn't get it since tween shit is banned from her view until she actually is a fucking tween. And maybe not even then. Then I get into the Sunday ads and find that WalFart has an entire ad devoted to Hannah Montana shite. If I had been given a heads up I surely would have substituted Jack and Coke for my coffee before delving into my Sunday paper. Fuckin' Miley Montana Cyrus Hannah.

A friend of mine who is close to giving birth (she's actually experiencing contractions and is supposed to be on bed rest) was dragged to see this with her 9-year-old. She said it was pure torture, and that the girls in her crowd were indeed screeching their little heads off. So, lucky her, I guess.

You know, I'd like to sympathize and feel all bad for you pulling this duty but... secretly, you know you enjoyed it Stace. You may not have enjoyed the music or anything, but the pop culture junkie in you enjoyed the experience.

I can neither confirm nor deny that statement. -- SN

"It's an adorable movie! Very cute."

First against the wall when I'm King.

Also I once saw a Hanson tour video while under the effect of a powerful hallucinogenic substance. I've had a soft spot for those guys ever since.

I was thinking of making a list of "Things I'd rather do than watch this" and then I realised that it would comprise of everything you can do without killing yourself.

This is the culture equivalent of Coca Cola, rotting young minds before they even have a chance to fight back. And reason #45,897 why I don't have children.

Like when you groggily wake up from a night of heavy drinking, and find to your pleasant surprise that not only did you not lose your cell phone or puke all over your bathroom, but you didn't even spend all of your money! Sure, you've got a hangover with a splitting headache and a minor case of the trots, but at least there's no stranger in your bed.

-------------------------------------------------

Get out of my head.

I admire you Stace, for going in the first place, and for being so tame about the whole thing. The moms disturb me though, too. Is it like a right of passage? You turn thirty-five and suddenly, movies like 27 dresses become cute?

I think people, women especially, say a movie is "cute" when it's not really that great a movie, and it certainly didn't make you laugh, but it has a happy ending featuring a lingering kiss. Yeah, it's like a code.

Those who know me well are fully versed in my usage of the word "cute" to describe anything. Pretty much the worst thing I can say about a person's appearance is "Oh, that it such a cute top" Of course you really need to see the accompanying eyebrow motion to get the full effect...

I'd like to second Sarabelle's comment, there is no better way to describe that particular feeling. And very a very apt description it is too after my weekend.

Oh yes the month of Alex the teetotal is over bitches. It feels so good.

Wow, your patience and tolerance is astounding, Stacey. I'm glad this wasn't too awful an exerience for you, and I'm also glad you were only happy drunk (not plastered) because it could have gotten ugly. You know, if you were throwing things at the screen, stealing kids' 3D glasses after you dropped/lost yours, hollering obscenities at the two moms talking about 27 Dresses, etc., etc.

Also, Patriots fans:

Hahahaha. HAHAHAHA ahaha. Hee hee hahahaha. *cough, cough, regain composure* Your boys did well last night.

In all seriousness, how fun was that game?!?

Fartygirl: Trust me, as someone who is several years past 35, it is not an age-related phenomenon to like such films as 27 Dresses. I think it's just a stupidity thing.
Fun fact about stupidity: it can strike at any age.
Although, I would suggest that this may be a self-propagating thing because obviously an idiot mother who likes 27 Dresses is going to raise the kind of idiot little girls who like Hannah Montana. I'll say one thing for my dragon of a mother: if we had asked to go to something like this when we were young, she would have told us to get a backbone and stop following the herd. And we would have listened.

"Is it like a right of passage? "

No, but it's a rite of passage...

tt_marie: You better watch it, TK is likely to come out swinging today. That is, if he ever DOES come out. He's probably exhausted from all the crying.

before pouring a couple of pocket shots of spiced rum (many thanks to the Boozehound!) into a 20-oz. bottle of Coke Zero.

Admit it - there were more than just a couple in there and you jsut slept through the whole thing, which is why the timestamps stop at 5:02.

Also I am apologizing for this in advance (not really - think of it as one of those "I apologize if anyone was offended" apologizes), but I will be ending all of my posts with something like this:
GO BIG BLUE!!!
It was very fun tt_marie, very fun.

Alas, TK is busy trying to recover from a lack of sleep, a disappointing game and an absolutely SPECTACULAR hangover.

What can I say? G-Men deserved to win. They played better, they wanted it more. It's the way is should be, I suppose. I'm not even that angry. I'm just disappointed.

On the plus side, the Beans & Rice with Chorizo and Chicken that I made for our super bowl party was fucking phenomenal. I believe I have perfected the recipe. Who's hungry?

You should get a fucking Purple Heart for taking this one between the eyes. I have two girls and I absolutely refuse to go anywhere near a theatre showing this prelude to a career in soft core porn. Although I am jealous of the fact that the one mom only paid $17 for her tickets. Median price in civilization (Orange County) is $10 per ticket.

I hereby submit my nomination for Stacey Nosek as the next recipient of the Purple Pajiba medal.

Kolby:I, too, giggled like a schoolgirl (after regaining my footing as I stumbled and nearly passed out on the floor when Plax came down with that TD). It was a great game and finally showed just how vulnerable the Pats were when faced with a team that was just as good as them. The Football Gods shined on the Giants the entrie playoffs. And for those who would doubt it, you tell me, how in the hell does Eli Manning escape 3 Patriot defenders AND how in the hell does David Tyree come down with that reception when as Bill Simmons put it " [Tyree] ...somehow held on while Harrison was doing everything but performing a figure four leg lock on him."

I'm sooooooo happy! Yay!

Alex The Odd: Welcome back off the wagon. You'll really like it back down here in the gutter with the rest of us. It's cosy and warm and 100% proof.

My not-quite-12-year-old would be mortified to be seen at a Hannah Montana "event." Same kid who was dying to see the Cheetah Girls in concert last year is now too old and sophisticated for all things Radio Disney. Thank whatever deity is in charge of the hearts of fickle preteens (although I would like to request said deity move my kid past her current Fallout Boy obsession, m'kay?).

There's nothing magical about age 35 turning women into soppy-eyed twits willing to sit through 88 minutes of crap for two minutes of a decent kiss. You're either born with that gene, or you're not. That being said, "Cute" is the code word you use when it's a choice between going to any tame movie or sitting at home watching "Clash of the Titans" on TBS for the umpteenth time. You know it was a waste of time, but the time was going to be wasted no matter what.

I think that I just got a mild case of the trots from reading your review, Stacey. Pity welled up inside as I pictured you stuck in between ladies dressed in mom jeans and 11 year olds in push up bras, drinking diet cokes and swooning over these Jonas turds and Achey Breaky Mullet Jr.

Wasn't anybody else watching Puppy Bowl IV?
Best. Game. Ever.

You know what? I've been thinking about this "phenomenon" over the course of the afternoon. I really didn't have an opinion on it, hence the rather insipid previous comment, because for a long time I simply haven't been aware of it... but this is really starting to bug me.

Are they fucking serious with this shit? From what I can gather this is an empire based on an actress who is playing a schoolgirl who's also secretly a pop star. Am I close so far? Am I grasping the complicated concept? And tweenage girls eat this absolute dreck up with a fucking spoon because that's all they honestly aspire to be - a spangly clad popstrel who prances around singing about... whatever the fuck it is that fourteen year old girls feel strongly enough about to put into song form... So we're talking what, ponies, overpiriced branded clothing and the cute boy with the floppy hair who like, totally looked at you one time. Nuh uh. Yeah, he like, totally did. Really? Oh my God, are you gonna like marry him? Shut up! Jesus fucking christ, you know what I wanted to be when I was that age? A doctor, not a fucking pop star who is going to be famous for precisely fouteen and a half fucking minutes and then spiral into despair and ruin the second she can't cut it any more. Why do parents allow it? Do their children really have vocal chords that highly developed? I mean does she preach some other values - do the shows centre around random acts of altruism, the importance of being properly informed before voting and the joys of academia? Are the children at least learning some form of moralistic lession at the same time as being indoctrinated to shop? It's freaking me the fuck out. This is the new world order and from where I'm standing it comes with a Barbie branded credit card and an unholy sense of entitlement. I weep for humanity, I honestly do. I cannot comprehend the mentality behind this cultural revelution. Also: no offense to my fine Interwebby comrades across the Atlantic (you know I have a serious love for you and your fine country - you guys produced Arrested Development so you pretty much get a free pass for life) but could any other country on Earth have spawned this? Is it destined to spread over here too? Like some kind of hideous malignant pop-culture tumour destined to infect the hearts and minds of spoilt little princesses everywhere? Has it done so already but I'm just not aware of it? Is there any possibly hope of avoiding this hideous and unholy plague upon out collective sanity or am I going to have to sit back and watch Hannh motherfucking Montanna take over the enrire civilised world? What the fuck is wrong with the next generation of women that they aspire to this shit? Is there some kind of horrible equivolent for tweenage boys - I mean tell me at least that this is equal opportunity madness and isn't purely affecting my own gender.

Fuck this. I need a drink.

"Previews. Something with Martin Lawrence, Raven Simone and Donny Osmond taking a road trip together,"

Donny Osmond?! For serious?! In a movie? How the hell...? - I just felt something spring loose in my brain.

Fucking typos can bite me.

I love it when you talk dirty, Alex.

I am still on the fence as to whether or not to take my twixie to the big event. I am a little wounded by Disney at the moment and I just don't know if I want to give them any more of my money just yet. (we had a little falling out over HS Musical Live and I lost about $300)

Damn you Miley and your wholesomeness and cuteness! But she's a local gal so it's even a bigger deal around here.

WHATTODO! I JUST DON'T KNOW! AAAHHHH.

Pajiba--you're supposed to help a sister out in these here sitcheeayshons. But you've just confused and confuddled me even more. Damn you Stacey and your pocket shots and positive reviews!

Fucking typos can bite me.

Just blame it your readjusting to the booze. Works for the rest of us.

My boyfriend's six year old watches the Hannah Montanna show. She just sits there and zones, does not laugh, and when I ask her what's going on, sometimes she can't tell me. She insists that she loves it, though.

The show makes no sense. I turned to the boyfriend and said, "Wow, little kid programming is annoying." And he said, looking sadly into my eyes, "And she's so rude, too." Like, don't blame me for my kid's issues, it's Hannah's fault. Yeah, nice try, buddy.

Good point Brian, it's possible that there is still a large amount of alcohol in my system right now.

14 hours in the pub + 3 hours of sleep = not firing on all cylinders today.

Manny: Rowr. I'm glad that my ranting had a purpose other than taking me three years closer to a heart attack.

ATO: Are you aware that a contestant on UK Big Brother last year listed as her "life's ambition" to be a Victoria Beckham lookalike? Seriously. That was her goal and she was way past 14. This virus is everywhere.

It's true, Alex. When I was a kid I wanted to be a police officer. (I have no idea why.) But this country puts "the dream" in front of these kids. You too can lead a double life like Hannah Montana. It is dreck. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just a TV show but when it becomes a "phenomenon" is when it's too much. I think that parents give into it because Miley Cyris is wholesome and a "good role model". I don't know. When I was 14 I was obsessed with New Kids on the Block so what the hell do I know?
And I also wanted to say, awesome Super Bowl!

"Are the children at least learning some form of moralistic lession at the same time as being indoctrinated to shop?"

In fact, yes. Miley learned not to behave like the evil paparazzi in an episode guest starring Dwayne *The Rock* Johnson. I choked back a tear.

Alex, I'm pretty sure Mr. Kolby would be OK with the giant girl crush I have on you as of today.

Loob, that is some poignant shit right there. Seriously. I'm welling up a bit myself.

It got me right where I live, TK.

Okay, wsapnin, as a longtime Pajibi, I hereby decree that you must not contribute any money to this monster that is Disney. Perhaps with a lifetime of penance you can atone for the $300 you dropped on High School Foolsical Whatever, but you must stop the bleeding NOW.
Trust me, when your "twixie" grows up and realizes what an abomination this is, she will thank you.
And just FYI, when I was fourteen I actually did want to be a rock star (a ROCK star, mind you, not a pop star, but it's still close enough). Unfortunately, my dad never sang "Achy Breaky Everyone Laugh at My Mullet" and so now, like most former aspiring rock stars, I'm more or less a campus bum.
Do I sound bitter? I'm a Pats fan. Or I was, until very recently...Tom Coughlin can blow me.

@Alex the odd: but could any other country on Earth have spawned this?
Seems to me like Robbie Williams and The Spice Girls are from your side of the Pond.

My 9 year old is named Hannah and gets majorly pissed off when anyone thinks it's cute to call her Hannah Montana. I have, therefore, built in immunity to this shit. Who knew that I had such amazing foresight? It also helps, of course, to have never hooked up the cable. I know many parents whose 4 and 5 year olds can lip sync to every Cheetah Girls and HSM song and have the dance moves, such as they are, memorized. Nothing says future pregnant teen crack whore like a pre-schooler who shakes her ass for a video camera on command.

Paddydog: I watched about 15 minutes of the Puppybowl and wanted to jump through my tv screen and kidnap the shit out of that Bernese Mountain Dog puppy. My GOD was it adorable.

I made myself watch about half an episode of Hannah Montana to try to understand why so many kids idolize this girl, and all I could come up with is that the Ebola virus in their Cocoa Puffs must be eating away their neurons.

Personally, I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. I never understood the fascination with popstars and teen idols....from the beginning I thought they were just silly. The Hannah Montana phenomenon threatening to sweep us all under is equally as baffling to me...can anyone honestly say that she would be this much of a popstar if her daddy hadn't been famous for fifteen minutes? i mean, I know they're trying to make sure she's wholesome and good for the little kiddies...but they tried that with Britney, too...and look how that turned out. I just have to thank whatever forces there be that I don't have children....I would hate to have to slap the stupid out of them if they asked me to go to this.

I'm right there with you, Dakaron. I wanted to work at a zoo when I was a kid. Either that or be a fighter pilot. Certainly not a fucking popstar.

And, of course, now I'm nothing close to any of those things.

It gets worse Pen Dragon. Not only did I mindlessly drop $300 for 5 of us to go to HS Musical--but I read the date wrong on the tix and we went a day AFTER our show. And the evils that are Disney wouldn't allow the theater to allow us to go in and catch the rest of the show that was in progress in unused seats. So not only did I willingly give them my 300 bucks we didn't even get to see their crappy show! Hence our falling out.

The wound is still raw.

Paddydog: I fucking loved the Puppy Bowl and the Kitty Half Time Show. I had to wait until after the actual Stupor Bowl to watch it, but I did watch it. When the announcer started talking about being able to order your very own copy of Puppy Bowl IV, my husband yelled "Dear God no!!". I'm with you too, Julie. I will have a Bernese Mountain Dog. Oh yes, I will.

Julie & Dangle:
Yeah! I knew I'd find some Puppy Bowl lovers here. Who knew watching a 9 week-old yellow lab mix take a poo on TV could be so entertaining: "puppy foul on the field" had me rolling. I think Abigail definitely did earn MVP. The puppy touch downs were great and no annoying celebratory dances afterwards, just straight back to the romping with joy that only little puppies are capable of.

How about the waterbowl camera?! When Abigail (I agree, totally the MVP) kept running into it and scratching out the water, I had to take a cold shower to escape The Cute.

:re-reads post, finds self incredibly pathetic, kills self, rises from the dead, buys 12 puppies:

I was just informed by my friend, who shall remain nameless, DVR'd the Puppy Bowl so her dog can watch it again and again.

I'm thinking of cutting her out of my life.

Let me just say how absofuckingtively rioutously glad I am that my daughter does not seem even remotely interested in this crap. Hell, it doesn't even seem to be within her radar at all, and she's a sucker for Disney crap. I can put up with Dan Zanes for a few more years; the guy can, at least play and has a genuine love for genuine music. This manufactured pop shit is the work of the Robot Devil (because it's too low even for Satan himself).

GAH!

Kolby: ha! I think that's a wise decision.

Who the FUCK are The Jonas Brothers?!

After a comprehensive Goog search(thats right, I call it 'the Goog') I still don't have a clue as to who or what they are. I'm nearly convinced they're robots. Or at least awesome hallograms.

One of my best friends is named Jonas and I was completely convinced he, and the one from Weezer(blue), were the only Jonas'. I want it to stay that way, and you can be damn sure I don't want some deplorable Abercrombie Kid models who don't know the recipe for ice corrupting my delusion.

Had to include this quip I found during my 'research:'

"like omg!,I freakin love the jona brothers! Joe is my future baby daddy!"

Someone actually said that, like literally, on a forum.

Sweet lord deliver us from this.

At least they didn't say "totally". I must hear that a hundred times per day (work in the mall). I tried using it ironically once, but they totally didn't get it. :)

Um... Ian, we need to talk about the forums you're visiting. For reals, yo.

And re: Puppy Bowl - I guiltily admit that it is, without question, the fucking cutest thing in the history of fucking cute. Last year, I barely watched the Super Bowl, I was so riveted by it. It made me want to get another dog, which would be a colossal mistake since I already have an adorable puppy. Who chews up my shoes. So... I'm all set.

Oooh, how 'bout a Pajibites "what did I want to be when I grew up" comment diversion?

I've got a nephew who likes Hannah Montana (but wisely refrained from asking me to take him to the movie, being satisfied with daily reruns on Disney Channel). But then again, he's almost 11 years old. I figure given the choice between Hannah Montana and braless Britney at that Nickelodean award show (this was when Britney had her sh*t together), I'll take the former, thank you.

As for Disney producing brain-melting crap--not only are they doing it to our kids, they are going international. My friend had to buy the DVD and the CD soundtrack and some picture books featuring High School Musical, to send to _her_ nephews. Who are in Brazil. It turns out that High School Musical is _huge_ over there, and kids sing the songs phonetically without understanding the (English) lyrics. Not that they are missing much, mind you.

The BowlCam! I'm grinning just thinking of it. I think the best thing about Puppy Bowl is that they just let puppies be puppies. There's no dressing them up, or giving them voices. There's full recognition that they are adorable in themselves and in what they get up to.
Also, sorry to have to do this, BUT: if you don't have a dog and Puppy Bowl has given you the urge to run out and get one, please think if you really can handle it and have the lifestyle and the time. I don't want to get all preachy here, but both of my dogs are rescued from homes that wanted "cute puppies" but couldn't deal with them when they got a little older. It can really mess them up (one of mine was dumped in a kill shelter, pulled out of there by Lab Rescue but then had 2 foster homes before he found us and has major trust issues to this day). Thanks for listening.

Amen, PaddyDog. If anyone needs further support for Paddy's advice, try this on: Mrs. TK is a veterinarian, and she had this family come in once with their dog who'd been hit by a car. It needed to have one of it's rear legs amputated, and they decided that they didn't want to deal with it, and they wanted to just put it down, even though it would still be able to run and jump and play almost 100%.

The dog was SIX MONTHS OLD. And they were gonna put it down.

And that's the story of how I ended up with a three-legged beagle.

Stupid compassion.

Stupid adorable beagle puppy.

TK...that was almost....sweet. Are you feeling alright?

TK, I've seen pictures of your three-legged puppy on your site-he's (she's?) just the sweetest thing and those previous owners were lazy heartless bitches. Beagles are the shit.

I would love to get a dog of my own, but my roommate is against it. I'll have to be content with visiting our family dog Rizzo (as in the Rat) at my mom's.

Ugh, I'm glad that I'm not a ten year old/have a ten year old because I honestly wouldn't love my own kid enough to take them to see this movie. Sorry, call me Alec Baldwin, but honestly, who would want to spend their cash on an expensive ticket to a movie that features a pop star who looks like Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver? Bratz is worse enough...
My daughter, whenever I have kids will be brought up on Fiona Apple and Marlo Thomas, no god damn Hannah Montana.

I actually said to my sister that if I wasn't reviewing Hannah Montana this weekend I'd be real-time reviewing the PuppyBowl. So this is just eerie.

Sooo... Did you guys totally love how they had announcer's commentary this year? I did!

I am seconding the pet love, though. My hellcat is an orphan who was rescued from a shelter, and I love her to death. My sweet little kitty. Even when she got older and manifested many of the issues she had to have been exposed to early in life.

I may have to check the puppy bowl out...or better yet, send it to a couple of female friends who love animals.

And True_Blue...I have relatives in Peru who actually do the same thing. The cancer is spreading.

Stacey-not only did they have an announcer, but it was my would-be-boyfriend/Phillies and NFL announcer Harry Kalas. I was peeing my pants at him saying stuff like "looks like Abigail is the head of the pack!" Hee.

Go Stacey! Way to rock the Coke Zero!

Best part of the review.

I'm gonna go have one right frickin' now.

Gasp, I've never heard of this Puppy Bowl of which you speak! I'm a cat gal myself (until next month...I think once you hit 30, you officially graduate to "cat lady"), but that sounds freakin' adorable!

Oh, and TK, you and the missus are tops in my book! Gad, people like your pup's former owners are the reason I gave up my childhood ambition of being a vet...

"I find myself surrounded by more children than I have ever seen in my entire life"

I went to Vegas two weeks ago, and Hannah Montana was doing a three night event at the MGM Grand where I was staying. When we walked into the hotel the concert had just let out, and I have never seen more children in one place in my entire life. We couldn't figure out if we were in Vegas or Disneyland. It was a little creepy holding my Corona, and being a little tipsy around so many little people. Best form of BC I've ever seen...

TK - when I was a wee lass, my dream was to be a veterinarian. I held onto that dream until I was about to apply for college, and for some reason I changed my mind. I still regret switching to pre-med (which inevitably fucked me up so badly I had to drop out of college for a little while). I used to rescue baby birds & field mice, and I have a serious soft spot for injured or unwanted animals. So, yeah, I love your wife, and now I hate my job more than ever.

TK: I now love you and Mrs. TK forever. I'm going straight over to your blog to see the beagle. That's a great ending to an all-too-familiar story.

Stacey: If you ever do have time on your hands, please do a real time review of Puppy Bowl. Mind you, there'll be no snark (except at some of the commercials in the middle). It's all good. I defy even PissBoy to get upset about it.

Paddy, just search for "Audrey" on the site. You'll see. She's a shoe-chewing, hole-digging force of adorableness.

Great review Stacey, but I kinda wish I could have imagined a 30-year-old male film geek in the middle of that mess. Wait...I still can. Hahahaha how many awkward glances would Dustin or Dan have gotten?

Okay, I just jlogged over to TK's blog for a gander at Audrey the Three-Legged Beagle.
Pajibans: If you haven't seen her, you're missing out. I am in love.

To be honest, I ate up all that Disney concert shit when I was 12 and they aired it on tv. Perhaps some of you will recall B*Witched, or 5ive, or Steps. (Hopefully not.) Anyway, 8 years later and now I like Wong Kar Wai and Coen brothers movies. I guess what I'm saying is all hope is not lost! They'll grow out of it! And those who don't will go on to watch movies like 27 Dresses...okay, maybe I'm being a little optimistic.

in defence of mothers and children everywhere (not that they deserve it), my little girl will have to sneak around behind my back to watch this utter crap. and not all mothers lose any sense of themselves and their wildly experimental in every sense of the word past. in fact, i think experimenting is a big part of youth, and will not freak the fuck out by mostly anything my children do in the future. except this tween shit or country music. BARF

TK - I appreciate your concern for my web browsing habits, but I swear I visited that forum specifically for the research on these so called 'Jonas Brothers'

Ian... sure thing buddy.

Suuuuuuuure thing.

Stacey, I have to tell my 9 year old daughter what you said about the Jonas Brothers. She hates them. And I like your idea about the rum. Should be easy enough to sneak a small flask into the theater. I don't see how I can avoid this one seeing as how it's bland, harmless and Miley Cyrus is not a coked out crack whore yet.

Oh my god lola, I defintely remember 5ive and B*Witched. And I'm sure if I was 10 years younger I'd been eating up this Hannah Montana tripe with the rest of the prepubescent lemmings.

Many will grow out of it, the others will grow up to be the kind of people who think The Pussycat Dolls and Kanye West are leik teh best artists evvrrrrr.
You know...assholes.

5ive!! Holy shit, I had blocked them from my memory. Like so many other things Pajiba forces me to unearth with their diversions and such...Anyway! They had that song "baby when the lights go out, I'll show you what it's all about". Bwa ha ha ha!

Okies, I'm not going to try to prove to anyone how awesome I was when I was a wee one (wee-er than my now towering height of five-foot....silence), because I don't assume anyone gives two damp shits about how great I may now have decided I was. Yeah, yeah, I'm the best, and I've the mounting student debt to prove it. All the kids are whores and turds, and their skank-mamas...did anyone see when Dylan Moran's character made his patented 'ice lollies' on BLACK BOOKS. That man is living the dream!

Does anyone remember 'The Guys Next Door'? Wow, that was something. Is 'awesome' spelt h-e-i-n-o-u-s now?

Yes Jo 'Mama', I remember The Guys Next Door. One of them was one of my childhood crushes in the diversion that broke the Pajiba. However, I would not have paid any money to see them in a movie. Even then I was shamed by my interest for them. I wonder if I still have their cassette tape somewhere around here...

Which ONE!? I need to know so that I can YouTube it. There's no shame, you don't know me. And you know that I'm a munchkin, so it's not like I would pick a fight. Gimme some useless chuckles, I'm cold, and the sun goes down at like, noon!

Be afraid, be very afraid!!

Reporting from Dominican Republic and yes we have the cancer too, HSM-Hanna Wathever-Radio Disney are huge here they are ¨like totally¨ taking over!!!

A wee bit of a brag here: my daughter? Is finally fully old enough to go see crap like this with her friends.

As in, not with me.

Yeah, I'm a braggart. BUT that also means she'd WAY rather watch whatever stupid "horror" flick is out than Hannah Montana and that's a whole new box of suck.

But again? I don't have to see it!

I nearly didn't read this - then I came to my senses and remembered
"The thread GR, it's all about the thread".

ATO - I just love your creative spelling when you're mad. It's special. I can envisage the flecks of spit flying and hitting the screen. As your visibility decreases, the spelling becomes more entertaining.

Also you have proudly sponsored my favourite sentence of the week:

This is the new world order and from where I'm standing it comes with a Barbie branded credit card and an unholy sense of entitlement.

I love this so much and ask humbly for permission to repeat it in public places.

Thankyou for making my dreary day.

Jo 'Mama':
I'll be assuming here and guess that you're asking me which GND I had the crush on. It was the one that sang about having a bad hair day, Damon Sharpe I wanna say. Good lord. I'm off to youtube to shame myself for fun.

why the shock over the hannah montana craze? it certainly doesn't represent a " new order " or signal the imminent downfall of western civilization. tots are brought up on " barney ", move on to cabbage patch dolls, flock to the american doll store, screech at hannah montana concerts and graduate to further screeching at frank sinatra or beatles events. what's new? you are dealing with the masses here so the herd mentality shouldn't inspire so much angst.if you are fortunate enough not to have spawned a current tweener, just stay the hell away.
by the way, movie snobs who trash " 27 dresses ", a harmless diversion which is all it was meant to be while at the same time finding an epiphany in " knocked up " shouldn't be too loose with the word " stupid ".

why the shock over the hannah montana craze? it certainly doesn't represent a " new order " or signal the imminent downfall of western civilization. tots are brought up on " barney ", move on to cabbage patch dolls, flock to the american doll store, screech at hannah montana concerts and graduate to further screeching at frank sinatra or beatles events. what's new? you are dealing with the masses here so the herd mentality shouldn't inspire so much angst.if you are fortunate enough not to have spawned a current tweener, just stay the hell away.
by the way, movie snobs who trash " 27 dresses ", a harmless diversion which is all it was meant to be while at the same time finding an epiphany in " knocked up " shouldn't be too loose with the word " stupid ".

why the shock over the hannah montana craze? it certainly doesn't represent a " new order " or signal the imminent downfall of western civilization. tots are brought up on " barney ", move on to cabbage patch dolls, flock to the american doll store, screech at hannah montana concerts and graduate to further screeching at frank sinatra or beatles events. what's new? you are dealing with the masses here so the herd mentality shouldn't inspire so much angst.if you are fortunate enough not to have spawned a current tweener, just stay the hell away.
by the way, movie snobs who trash " 27 dresses ", a harmless diversion which is all it was meant to be while at the same time finding an epiphany in " knocked up " shouldn't be too loose with the word " stupid ".

Wow... what a bitter group. Seriously, I read Pajiba every day because I love the perspectives and intellect here. I have grown older, now have kids, but I still work for a liberal nonprofit, still haven't given in to the mindless bland-ardization of the suburbs... still like to explore new art, new music, new ideas.

But I can step back and see this Disney stuff as harmless fun that my daughter enjoys. So what?!?!? If I also teach her about literature, good music, being charitable, and not living "a life unexplored" in every possible way... then so what???? So what if she went to see a Hannah Montana movie once when she was 5??? This one film won't make or break some kids' characters if their parents aren't asleep at the wheel.

I am just amazed at the amount of venom in these comments...

"My daughter, whenever I have kids will be brought up on Fiona Apple and Marlo Thomas, no god damn Hannah Montana."

Aw, darlin', spoken like a true non-parent.

Lemme shatter a few illusions for you.

You will watch Barney. You will come to appreciate his genius.

You will, gladly, sing "Holly Jolly Christmas" sixty-five times in a row on a long car trip.

You'll know what day and time the Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards air.

You will not only know who the latter-day equivalent of the Jonas Brothers are, you will know which of their songs you find most bearable. You will buy their CDs for your child's birthday.

Not only will your daughter read "Cosmo Girl", you will be paying for it.

You will own Barbies. There will be Bratz or similar merchandise in your home.

Your kid will ADORE Fiona Apple and Marlo Thomas, right up till she's nine. That's the official eye-rolling parents-are-SO-lame age.

You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

And most of y'all are of the generation whose nostalgia for all things good and wholesome made "Transformers" a summer blockbuster. So please, the soap box looks a little too lofty for you.

Lol....logic that cannot be denied. It is rather easy to say things from this side of the child safety barrier.

But in all fairness...Transformers was still fun to watch...

Leigh, fair enough. But I think the truth is that parents like you are the exception, not the rule. I think that there is a vast number of American parents who let their TV do the parenting for them, and those are the one who Disney sinks its talons into. If I could trust parents to be as smart and forward-thinking as you, then I wouldn't have a problem with it. But I don't because I see too much of people obsessing over this stuff, and little girls writing false essays about their dead fathers just so they can win free tickets. And the mom went along with it.

Forgive me if I lack faith, but...

Tee-hee!

I don't remember who Damon Sharpe is, but you've just referenced the only skit I know. That, and the 'We're the Guys! We're the Guys Next Door, We're the Guys Next Door-ooh-woor-ohr!' part of the theme song. Dang, maybe my sisters watched it or something. But they weren't New Kids fans, so...I don't know where this is coming from.

I haven't read the vast majority of these comments, (a lot of parents with free time, huh?) But, some people are stupid, some aren't. The nature of the junk changes, but something will always be around. Today's 'Hannah Montana, oh.', will be 2028's 'Samantha Fox, AIYEEEE!'

My upbringing was very strict and all about the 'ahrt' and 'lit-tri-cha', but crap still seeped in, I know who 'The Guys Next Door' are, don't I? Oh well. I've seen dumb-ass kids turn out okay, and vice versa. You know, whores will have their trinkets and so-forth.

Of course the influence of parents and what they allow is key, but I just don't have the energy for all of... this.

Well, I for one will be going to see this, and I will probably love it too, because know what?? I love my kid and SHE loves Hannah Montana. Giving my 7 year old daughter a fun afternoon, watching her enjoy something is far more important to me than dissing this whole movie.

Oh the utter crap they're marketing to children these days, it's really quite scary...um ladyjane you don't need to love the same movies to love your kid, you could actually dislike and put up with because you LOVE your kid too...it's ok, you know?

Ugh, my tween sisters absolutely lap up this dreck. I die a little bit inside every time I'm forced to sit through one of the interminable re-runs on Disney. Is anybody else really annoyed at her can't-speak-through-my-braces slur?

This movie looked like it was about a 5-footer on the scale of how long a length of barbed wire I'd rather pull out of my ass than watch it.

Maybe 6...

Ugh. I work at a movie theater, and Hannah Montana ate my fucking weekend.

And preteens are the worst customers too. Incapable of reading prices (yes, I know tax isn't posted, but when the sign reads "$5.50 without tax" don't hand me a five and look all confused when I need more. And if you're in a group and you all want the exact same thing... you could all order together, you know. And when the line is huge and you have to wait, use that time to decide what you want! Don't wait till you get to the register!)

i went through this with my kid and n'sync. luckily for me, i was smart enough to get my mother to take my daughter to the concert. hee-hee! go ahead, call me an evil genius!

and what is the puppy bowl? what did i miss????
i don't have dogs because of mr. bunny's allergies, but two of my bunnies have only 3 feet. one of those only has half a tail and only one toe on the remaining back foot. and you should see that bugger GO! most folks don't even realize that rabbits need to be spayed and neutered, live inside, and the shelters are overflowing with rabbits that need homes. getting to be that time of year again, so my soapbox will be getting a lot of use.

1. I was not allowed to watch non-educational TV until over half-way through high school, at which point I had developed enough taste that all I really cared to watch anyway was stuff like Seinfeld reruns and Arrested Development (although, admittedly, with smatterings of teen soaps. My brother and I would make fun of them together after our parents went to sleep.)

2. I am eternally grateful for not having spent my childhood watching Nickolodeon, although it does shock my friends when I don't understand Saved by the Bell references.

3. My kids will be reading, and watching Wishbone-inspired programming, until they are AT LEAST sixteen.

4. Hannah Montana barely exists in my worldview, and I refuse to change that. Honestly, it's just a sad, sad waste of time.

You guys need to chill out. As far as pop acts go (and we've all seen the worst of them, Paris Hilton and possibly Lindsay Lohan included), these kids are actually pretty damn talented. They can sing, perform live, and keep their squeaky clean images (even in some alarmingly tight pants) while seeming fairly normal and down to earth. There are so many worse things out there for children to be enjoying/emulating/watching. Miley Cyrus is actually pretty frickin' charming. And oddly grounded for a 15 year old who is basically the queen of her own franchise. Yes, the show and the overall concept can be utterly ridiculous but it KNOWS it's utterly ridiculous. Overall it's just good sugary fun; no need to attack it and shoot it down.

p.s. - for all of you without kids who are saying how much you would hate to watch it, no one is asking you to watch it.

fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE HANNAH MONTANA I AM HER BIGGIST FAN AND I WOULD TO ACTUALL SEE HER IN PERSON

I went to go see it with my older sister the first day it comes out and i was so cool i wanted to see it again and again i wanted to see it five or more times

I went to go see it with my older sister the first day it came out and it was so cool i wanted to see it again and again i wanted to see it five or more times