free counter with statistics The Simpsons, Season Four | Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People
simpsonsplow1.jpg

Guides | May 20, 2008 | Comments (97)


For a rabid fan of “The Simpsons” such as myself, writing about the show’s fourth season is a bit like a baseball historian considering the ‘27 Yankees, or a European scholar trying to sum up the Renaissance, or a toothless hillbilly struggling to express the soul-rattling edification he feels sitting in the glow of “Blue Collar TV.” In short, it’s overwhelming.

This is the best I can do at summation: “The Simpsons” is the best show in television history, and the fourth season was its peak.

In its prime, the show would have stood out on any year’s TV schedule, but in the early ’90s, it was truly an oasis for those of us with frontal lobes. “Full House” and “Family Matters” were still anchoring ABC’s “TGIF” programming. The show that Fox slotted after “The Simpsons” during its second season was called “Babes.” According to Wikipedia: “The show’s premise revolved around the Gilbert sisters, a trio of plump siblings who had other things on their mind other than their weight — like work, relationships, popularity, and starting a family. The ladies also shared a small apartment in New York City together, which added to the comic friction.”

Sweet God, fat people in small apartments are funny.

This is to say that Matt Groening’s baby was born at a time when television was its vastest and wastiest. Through its first three seasons, “The Simpsons” had been great enough to make the dawn of its fourth an event. I was a freshman in college, and on September 24, 1992, with less than a month to have bonded, a dozen residents of my dorm crowded in to a corner room to watch “Kamp Krusty,” the season premiere. (Bart and Lisa attend a summer camp supposedly hosted by the bitter clown, who leaves his corporate goons to run the show. Lisa’s letter home, which she narrates over a montage of atrocities, begins: “Dear Mom and Dad, I no longer fear Hell, because I’ve been to Kamp Krusty. Our nature hikes have become grim death marches. Our arts and crafts center is, in actuality, a Dickensian workhouse….” Her letter contained 19 more syllables than the entire 11-season run of “Married With Children.”)

We left the room thinking the show had outdone itself, but the rest of the season was an almost entirely successful attempt to keep up the pace. In some ways, the fourth season is an arbitrary choice — Seasons Two through Eight are sprinkled with Classic episodes, Great episodes, and Very Good episodes, with hardly a dud in sight. But it’s the parade of Classics that makes Season Four stand out. During one especially ridiculous five-episode stretch in the middle of the season, four episodes aired that are among the show;s very best ever (and there have been more than 400 now): “New Kid on the Block,” in which Bart falls in love with his baby-sitter; “Mr. Plow,” documenting Homer’s attempts to start a snow-removal business; “Homer’s Triple Bypass” … self-explanatory; and “Marge vs. the Monorail,: a lively parody of The Music Man that was written by Conan O’Brien. (He’s also the credited writer for “New Kid on the Block.”)

In those episodes and the 18 others, the fourth season featured the show’s trademark mixture of potent satire, complex characterization, smart movie references (The Shining, The Birds, and The Godfather are three of a very long list), and funny signage (“Parent/Teacher Night: ‘Let’s Share the Blame’”). By the end of the season, the show had lapsed into a bit of the outlandishness that’s plagued its later years (Whacking Day, anyone?), but not enough to lessen its accomplishment.

The show has always been packed with brilliant commentary on family, romance, childhood, education, religion, TV, government; the list could stretch to thousands, and it could have the headline “Late 20th Century American Life,” despite the fact that the show has now existed for almost as long in the 21st. But it is a comedy, so the commentary is less crucial than the jokes, which are relentless, as in this exchange between Homer and Marge:

Marge: Homer, do you want your son to become Chief Justice of the Supreme Court or a sleazy male stripper?
Homer: Can’t he be both, like the late Earl Warren?
Marge: Earl Warren wasn’t a stripper!
Homer: Now who’s being naïve?

Or this scene with Homer and the hysterically incompetent lawyer Lionel Hutz:

Homer: All you can eat — ha!
Hutz: Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film The Neverending Story.

Or the fade-in to a Sunday school teacher, addressing a room full of kids: “… and that’s why God causes train wrecks.”

Or the narrator of an ad for Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie sneaking in “53% new footage” at the end.

Or a co-worker telling a hospitalized Homer that they had “a hell of a time” replacing him at the nuclear plant, then a quick cut to a swaying brick tied to a lever at Homer’s command station.

Such moments are countless, and relating them on paper is paltry, of course. It’s like writing about Secretariat in the Belmont Stakes. You should really see it for yourself (which I’m sure many of you have).

Like all great creations, “The Simpsons” left a different environment in its wake. Some of its influence was positive, opening up bigger doors for the work of animators like Mike Judge. Some was less positive, like opening doors for the work of Seth MacFarlane — “Family Guy” can be funny, but it’s a bit like “The Simpsons” stuck on the Allusion switch. Homer’s family has even been around long enough to influence itself negatively — using up almost every conceivable plot, for one; merchandizing itself into the ground, for another.

Worst of all, it’s tried to keep up with the less subtle, manic comedy of shows like “Family Guy.” I watch certain moments from the fourth season and think, I remember it moving quicker than this. I remember it biting harder than this. Context counts for a lot in satire. The fourth season of “The Simpsons” occurred in a world that, given the pace of change (read: deterioration) in pop culture, looks increasingly quaint. It came before. Before tweens took over the culture. Before text messages and comments sections made crude, repetitive nonsense our official national tongue. Before satire was made irrelevant by brain-dead entertainment whose very existence is satire. (Try satirizing “Rock of Love.” No, really. Try.) I know it wasn’t that long ago, but this was when sharp irreverence still seemed like it might be constructive, not the first step toward an echo chamber of illiterate snark.

So much of that season holds up, and in order to fall back under its spell, at its speed — considered wacky at the time, leisurely now — you only need to watch an episode or two. It’s like reading Shakespeare in that way, as long as I’m comparing it to heavyweights.

John Williams lives in Brooklyn. He’s a freelance writer. He blogs at A Special Way of Being Afraid.


Mister Lonely | Pajiba Love 05/20/08



Comments

I maintain to this day that Kamp Krusty is the best Simpsons episode ever. EV. ER.

Posted by: TK at May 20, 2008 2:06 PM

Agreed.

Posted by: jM at May 20, 2008 2:10 PM

I'm glad The Simpsons finally made it onto the best seasons list. As I was reading this, I just thought "I hope he picked the one with the monorail episode" because that is, in my opinion, the apex of hilarity, absurdity, and irreverence that the Simpsons did so well. Great choice.

"What about us Brain-Dead Slobs?"
"You'll be given cushy jobs!"

Posted by: mc at May 20, 2008 2:15 PM

Just after mr.wsapnin & I entered into our holy union, we would go up to our fave watering hole on Sunday nights, meet some friends and watch "In Living Color", "Married with Children" and "The Simpsons" on the big screen while drinking copious amounts of beer and eating horseshoe sandwiches. (mmmm....fries and cheese) We still talk about it being one of our favorite times of our togetherness. Of course it was this season of "The Simpson's" that made it so great. But it could have been another season--the beer seems to have made the brain a little hazy.

Posted by: wsapnin at May 20, 2008 2:16 PM

Great review of one of my favorite shows. I still maintain that season six is the best (Bart of Darkness, Homer Badman, the Shinning segment of Treehouse, Homie the Clown, and A Star is Burns are all my favorite episodes), but season four is really where the height of its brilliance began.

"Come to Duff Gardens, where roaming gangs aren't a big problem anymore!"

Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 2:18 PM

love love love this show

unfortunatly my devotion to it didn't come until season 4 was begin shown on TV as re-runs

see, in 1992 I was 9...and my mom did not approve of the wonderness that is The Simpsons. episodes were caught on the sly at friends houses, but on the whole I missed out on a good number of them (although I did catch "Kamp Krusty" and oh my was it wonderful)

then I went to college and the roommate had the DVDs

many MANY hours of productivity were lost to those DVDs that first year between the two of us (plus half the floor)

multiple friendships were bonded inbetween Homer and Bart's antics

good times good times

excellent review John, excellent review

Posted by: Bethy at May 20, 2008 2:27 PM

so, is there going to be an honorable mention for this best 15 of the last 20 series? five spots left for many, many more great shows...

Posted by: dg at May 20, 2008 2:32 PM

Ditto the Kamp Krusty love. All time fav quote from that episode-Kent Brockman on the camp rebellion: Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together.

Posted by: Nick at May 20, 2008 2:34 PM

I was wondering if this was gonna make the cut. Great review Mr. Williams. I especially enjoyed you closing remarks.

I also like the music you write...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at May 20, 2008 2:40 PM

Simpsons rules! The best one was episode 300 when bart left home! =)

Posted by: RJ at May 20, 2008 2:49 PM

Hells. Yes.

Posted by: Alice at May 20, 2008 2:51 PM

I would just like to say- the episode where The Simpsons move to an idyllic town, and Homer gets a great management position working for a Bond Villain? Bestest. Bestest. I know it's not in this season (which I agree is the best season- Monorail!) but that guy was awesome.

"Hammocks R Us? Take a left at Hammocks-For-Less, past the Hammock Emporium... you can't miss it."

Also, which episode had the personal assistant for Homer? Was that the Max Power episode? What a great show.

Posted by: that bees chick at May 20, 2008 2:54 PM

Great review. I own seasons 2-6 on DVD and believe that was the show's pinnacle. Season 3 was when it really started to roll, and the slow deterioration began in Season 7, even though there are still many funny episodes spread in there.

Posted by: Andy at May 20, 2008 2:56 PM

Bravo, great piece! As I have very limited TV preferences and no little cable access, this is one of the few series I've seen of the top 15 thus far. I couldn't agree more, there are lots of classic moments in this season (You choo-choo-choose me?), and the pop cultural references tend to enhance rather than overwhelm the show.

Many's the time I watch a new episode and wistfully sigh to my husband about the good old days when The Simpsons had heart...

Posted by: MO at May 20, 2008 2:59 PM

I call the big one bitey is a frequently-uttered phrase in our house. The monorail episode is one of my very favourites.

Posted by: Pea at May 20, 2008 3:00 PM

I too was lucky enough to be a freshman in college in 1992, although it wasn't until I lived in a fraternity house in 1993 that our love of The Simpsons truly flourished - We would tape the reruns that ran during weekdays as well as the new episodes on Sunday and watch the tapes nonstop. Needless to say, much plantlife was smoked through various apparati during the many repeat viewings of all the episodes to date.

From Duff Gardens episode:

Man: Give her this...(a couple more pills)...then this...(a whole pocketful of pills)...and then these.
Selma: Mmmm...thank you, doctor.
Man: Oh, I'm not a doctor

Homer: I'd like to be alone with the sandwich now.

Posted by: Perl at May 20, 2008 3:01 PM

Well seeing as I've seen all these episodes pre-Family Guy if I'd watch them again I'd still find them just as hilarious as the first time. (or second time, or third, etc.)

Posted by: Alex at May 20, 2008 3:02 PM

Being an owner of the DVD seasons up to date, it isn't enough for me to say simply I enjoy the Simpsons. I love them. I've watched the shows. I've listened to the director's commentary. I've been hurt by the writers' attempts to keep up with the mediocrity that so overwhelms cable television. I go so far as use The Simpsons in my lesson plans. In 24-ish minutes I can teach irony and satire and Comedia Del Arte, plot structure, characterization...

One of the most beautiful moments I've had in my classroom was during a Simpson's episode where bart(?) says that television shows aren't meant to teach you anything. A student lifted his pot-addled head in my direction and announce. "Ms. That's irony!"

Yeah. I wanted to cry.

I've been waiting for this to make the list. Thanks for the stellar review.

Posted by: JustM0 at May 20, 2008 3:05 PM

Finally! I've been waiting for The Simpsons to show up on the list. I was asking myself which of the arguably 5 or so truly great seasons you guys would pick. After all, it was a matter of which, not if.

I was a late-comer to the world of The Simpsons, hardly having seen a handful of epsiodes until I got to college in '97. But upon arrival, my roommate had nearly every episode on VHS, taped off their original airings. As we had no cable and our anntenae was shitty, the tapes were almost all we watched. And we are all the better for it.

And RJ, that better have been a joke, or I'm going to track you down and punch you in the taint.

Posted by: Bistro at May 20, 2008 3:05 PM

It's sad that the all the brilliant episodes are getting forever diluted amongst a growing quantity of lesser ones.

Still, Simpsons reruns will outlive us all... or last until the concept of "rerun" is made obsolete, most likely.

Posted by: Sunsneezer at May 20, 2008 3:06 PM

I love Kamp Krusty. That episode is nothing short of brilliant.

I love the Simpsons, but I never remember which episode aired when. What season was "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" in?

Posted by: Melody at May 20, 2008 3:11 PM

Melody, that was the finale of season six.

Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 3:22 PM

Last fall I scored a season of dvd's at a garage sale for $1. HOLLA! And now that we let the kids watch "The Simpson", we've had to rearrange our whole Sunday night routine around it. I am growing cartoon nerds just like myself. But they too will have to wait 'til college to watch "The Family Guy" and "South Park".

Posted by: wsapnin at May 20, 2008 3:22 PM

sorry, it was season 5. So close, but i love you for it.

Posted by: amanuamanu at May 20, 2008 3:23 PM

Heh heh heh......"Mule"

Posted by: Jordan at May 20, 2008 3:54 PM

GORGE YOURSELVES AT THE TROUGH OF FREEDOM!

Posted by: TK at May 20, 2008 4:00 PM

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, and I can tell you without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together."

"You see, Lisa, we at Laramie Cigarettes have a problem. Some of our customers have been, well, dying. So we need young smokers to take their place."

"You've been off galavanting with that floozy of a Bigger Brother, haven't you?!"

"Lisa, you don't want to know how far I'll go!"

Oh, man, I've gotta stop. Being reminded of all these great episodes may have just convinced me to buy this (unparalleled) season on DVD.

Posted by: Todd at May 20, 2008 4:08 PM

I'm so glad you picked this season. Any of 3 - 7 would be good picks, but I do like 4. 'Streetcar Named Marge,' 'Last Exit to Springfield,' and 'I Love Lisa' are also classic episodes.

Posted by: red at May 20, 2008 4:13 PM

"It says you choo choo choose me...and it has a picture of a train!"

Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 4:14 PM

My favourite episode from this season is "I Love Lisa" - mainly because Ralph Wiggum is such a great character. For me though, Season 5 is better overall.

I fucking hate Family Guy though.

Posted by: Katherine at May 20, 2008 4:15 PM

"Aw, cram it churchy", Kirk Van Houten. Classic!!!

Posted by: roman at May 20, 2008 4:20 PM

My favorite episode of all time is from Season Seven: "Bart on the Road." From Principal Skinner's invention of "Go To Work With Your Parents Day" to the wonders of the cracker factory to Bart's realization of what he can do with a fake, unlaminated driver's license and a pile of cash...good times.

Posted by: KateNonymous at May 20, 2008 4:32 PM

More quotes, because it's too good!

Homer: There's a $10,000 bill in it for you.
Barney: Oh yeah? Which president's on it?
Homer: Uh, all of them. They're having a party. Jimmy Carter's passed out on the couch

Dr. Nick: The knee bone's connected to the something. The something's connected to the red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch... Uh oh.

"This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon they'll have written the greatest novel known to man. Lets see. 'It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?!' You stupid monkeys!"

Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 4:34 PM

"I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!!"

Posted by: Katherine at May 20, 2008 4:37 PM

Ahh- Phil Hartman, how we miss thee. No one did incompetent attorney the way your Lionel Hutz did. And as the monorail salesman- brilliant.

Posted by: cmoody at May 20, 2008 4:44 PM

@ that bees chick: Homer's personal assistant, Karl (voiced by Harvey Fierstein) is in "Simpson and Delilah," which wikipedia tells me was early in Season 2.

I've been cycling through seasons 2-7 on DVD for the last several months. There's simply nothing more pleasant than a rainy day on the couch with early Simpsons.

Season 4 was a fantastic choice.

Posted by: elizabeth at May 20, 2008 4:44 PM

Season 4 is so excellent (though I contend that 5 is the Simpsons' peak. Marge on the Lam ... Sweet Seymour Skinner's Badasssssss Song ... Boy Scoutz N the Hood ... those were some good times).

However, you just can't beat 22 minutes at Kamp Krusty, with its Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel. Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference!

Posted by: zh at May 20, 2008 4:53 PM

No specific mention of "Homer The Heretic"? If everyone in the world made that single episode of The Simpsons a personal religious guide, we would end 90 percent of the problems of the world. That episode is my Bible.

And don't forget "Lisa's First Word." Holy crap, that last line (Maggie's first word of "Daddy") never fails to get me teary.

Is there a chance the track could bend?
Not on your life, my Hindu friend!

The ring's come off my pudding can
Take my penknife, my good man!


O.k., but that all said,

Season 6 rules all.

And, yes, I realize there's hardly a dud in the bunch from seasons 3 through 8. But check out 6...

You've got:

Bart Of Darkness (awesome Rear Window parody)

Treehouse Of Horror V (best Halloween episode ever, with the unbeatable "Time And Punishment")

Bart's Girlfriend (Meryl Streep as the wonderfully wicked reverand's daughter)

Homer The Great (Stonecutters!)

Homie The Clown (the bicycle trick at the end rocks)

Homer vs. Patty & Selma (you can't spell obsequious without "IOU")

A Star Is Burns (underrated greatness with so many great gags - "Boo-urns! Boo-urns!")

Lisa's Wedding (my personal favorite episode - the first to plumb into the characters' futures with great detail and done so brilliantly - plus, the most genuinely touching episode in the show's history - the Homer/Lisa stuff always gets me)

Two Dozen And One Greyhounds ("See my vest!" and those little puppies taking Homer's potato chips)

Lemon Of Troy (holy crap, this episode alone can kick most other seasons' asses all by itself - "Spring forth, burly protector, and save me!")

AND, FINALLY...

Who Shot Mr. Burns? - Part One (the only true cliffhanger in the history of the show...the only drawback to season six is that the brilliant conclusion is in season seven)

I rest my case.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 20, 2008 5:04 PM

I've been waiting patiently to see which season would be picked and I can say any of 4-7 would have worked. Simply the greatest show ever made. I grew up watching the early seasons but re watching them sheds them in a new light. The social commentary and subtle humor mixed with a little slapstick is something that is lost on my generations current shows.

I was going to throw in a cheap shot at Family Guy but the show insults itself by trying so hard.

Posted by: schrome at May 20, 2008 5:07 PM

Seasons 4,5,6 and 7 should be on this list, if we all want to be honest and not just limit it to one show per selection.

oh and that bees chick, according to my tv the episode with the bond villain boss is playing in reruns by me tonight, so you might wanna check out if its playing by you as well.

Posted by: aidan at May 20, 2008 5:09 PM

Excellent choice! I'm still partial to the later season episode where Bart and Lisa play each other in little league hockey.

Marge: "Now Homer, don't eat this pie!"
Homer: "Okay pie, I'm just going to do this *chomp chomp chomp* and if you get eaten, it's your own fault!"

But Season 4 is unquestionably terrific!

Dr. Nick: "Well if it isn't my old friend Mr. McGreg--with a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!"

Posted by: Sh*t Sandwich at May 20, 2008 5:12 PM

For what it's worth, my favorite Simpson's episode is "When the Violence Died", about the origins of Itchy & Scratchy. An excellent turn from Kirk Douglas as Chester J Lampwick, obviously the Itchy & Scratchy elements, some hilarious one liners, and the surreal Lester & Eliza showing up at the end.

Funniest line ever for me was when Lisa (in the tennis episode) reminds Homer that the story of Oedipus was about a guy who kills his father and marries his mother, to which Homer responds, "Pah, who pays for that wedding?"

Posted by: hendero at May 20, 2008 5:19 PM

"Homer, I want you to give up beer for a month."
"Right, no deer for a month."
"Did you say beer or deer?"

Later - Bedroom is dark.
(Homer opens a beer) "psst"
"Homer, what was that?"
"I said, 'psst, I love you.'"

Or:

"Do you think you can drive this car home?"
"No problem, giant beer."

Or:

"Bart, shut up! Lisa, drink the water."
"I can see the music!"

Or:

"Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you!
I'll have a Duff, you have one too!"


OK, I'll stop now.


No, wait -- one more:

Homer, to a spoiled ten-foot hoagie that has given him food poisoning: "I could never stay mad at you."

Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 20, 2008 5:19 PM

My all time favourite was the Cape Fear takeoff with Sideshow Bob

Posted by: Will at May 20, 2008 5:20 PM

"Family Guy" can be funny, but it's a bit like "The Simpsons" stuck on the Allusion switch.

That's a good way to phrase it. The South Park manatees were a fairly accurate summation of the problem with Family Guy as well. I've always referred to Family Guy as being the chief perpetrator of the "cannibalization of pop culture." Allusions are one thing; Family Guy just uses other things as a complete crutch.

Compare, for example, the Raiders of the Lost Ark spoofs in Family Guy and Simpsons. In Family Guy we have the characters recreating the escape from the South American jungle almost shot-for-shot, down to the airplane escape (with one gag tacked on at the end). Whereas in the episode "Bart's Friend Falls In Love," you have Indy's/Bart's escape from the idol's/change jar's resting place smoothly integrated into the Simpsons universe (the garage door, Homer-as-boulder, etc.). There truly is no comparison.

Admittedly, in its later much weaker seasons The Simpsons has become like Family Guy in that its allusions have become crutches at times, but when Simpsons was at its best, the distinction in style was clear.

Many of my very intelligent friends think Family Guy is hilarious; I just don't get it at all. I suppose I'm something of a hypocrite given that my daily personal dialogue is nothing more than constant references to movies and television, but I think there's a difference between loving homage and outright laziness in the realm of originality. At least I'm not trying to create something original.

I was going to just leave it alone, because Family Guy frankly is not even worthy of mention in this discussion. I abhor that show so much, though, so I guess I had to say something.

I'll leave you with this thought. What are the kids being raised on the brilliant "humor" of Family Guy going to be writing when they grow up? Parodies of parodies? I think it's a serious problem in our culture's potential for original storytelling.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 20, 2008 5:26 PM

I try not to collect knick knacks and whatnot, but when Christmas rolls around, I've got a goddam twenty-two car Simpons train that I decorate with.

Tell me that don't dampen your britches, ladies...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at May 20, 2008 5:32 PM

I just wanted to say that this review, like its subject, is beautifully written. I had goosebumps while reading and reminiscing. Thank you for that.

Posted by: alex at May 20, 2008 5:34 PM

In Family Guy we have the characters recreating the escape from the South American jungle almost shot-for-shot, down to the airplane escape (with one gag tacked on at the end). Whereas in the episode "Bart's Friend Falls In Love," you have Indy's/Bart's escape from the idol's/change jar's resting place smoothly integrated into the Simpsons universe (the garage door, Homer-as-boulder, etc.). There truly is no comparison.

SUCH a great analysis Darth. :)

Will, Cape Feare is in my top five episodes list.

"No one who speaks German could be evil."

"Dear Lisa,
As write this, I am very sad. Our president has been overthrown...(cue deep male voice) and replaced by the benevolent General Krull! All hail Krull and his glorious new regime!!! Sincerely,
Little girl."

Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 5:37 PM

Haven't even read this yet, just the Text on the image. I now have the song in head. Brilliant.

Plus I am now trying to remember what episode Homer used part of Flanders roof as plow with flanders trying to convince him he didn't need to since Homer had a plow business. Needless to say Homer had no such recollection of a plow business.

Posted by: Brian at May 20, 2008 5:41 PM

marge: homer, i've got someone who can help you!
homer: is it batman?
marge: no, it's a scientist!
homer: batman's a scientist!
marge: IT'S NOT BATMAN!

Posted by: bree at May 20, 2008 5:42 PM

Season 4 is an excellent choice, though, like zh, I would have gone with season 5 instead: Cape Feare, Rosebud, Treehouse of Horror IV ("forbidden donut," Twilight Zone bus-gremlin, "They're dogs...and they're playing poker! Ahhhh!!!," Burns Dracula), Boy Scoutz-N-Tha Hood, Last Temptation of Homer, $pringfield (Burns's casino), Bart Gets Famous ("I didn't do it!"), Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy, Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadassss Song, and on and on and on.

I, like many others commenting here, am greatly saddened by the current state of The Simpsons, and have been for some time. I'll catch an episode here and there, but I really haven't watched it with any regularity in maybe five or six years. Its downfall is actually rooted in its success, ironically: the show's longevity has drained the writers of story ideas, and allowed them to become lazy by basing plot lines around weekly guest stars and, almost without fail, Homer doing something stupid and/or wacky. When the show was at its peak, guest stars were incorporated into a pre-existing story and often didn't even play themselves (examples: Dustin Hoffman as Mr. Bergstrom, the teacher Lisa has a crush on, Kelsey Grammer as Sideshow Bob, Danny DeVito as Uncle Herb, and all of Phil Hartman's characters), instead of the trend the last decade of forcing a story to fit a guest (examples: Mel Gibson, Mark Hamill, Kim Basinger/Alec Baldwin, etc.).

The humor of The Simpsons is what drew us in, but what kept us watching week after week was the connection we felt to the family and the supporting characters. We cared about what happened to the Simpsons in an emotional capacity, and episodes which reminded us of that fact were almost always the ones that left the longest-lasting impact (see: Lisa's Pony, I Married Marge, Bart the Lover, Lisa the Beauty Queen, and the one that never fails to bring a tear to my eye, And Maggie Makes Three [the "Do it for Her" sign in Homer's office]). That's what the current writers are neglecting: emotion. There's little connection from week to week, as the outrageous plot lines leave no repercussions on the family. We as the viewers, therefore, have little reason to watch and care what's happening anymore, since everything will be exactly the same next week.

I've actually gone back and pinpointed the exact episode where the series began heading downhill: Natural Born Kissers, aired on 5/17/98. It was gimmicky, depressing, and just lacked the spark most of the rest of the season had (which included classics like The Cartridge Family, Bart Carny, and the Joy of Sect). It's bizarre to think that my favorite show of all-time hasn't even been good in the last ten years (nearly to the day), and yet, it's still on the air.

To wrap things up, a quote from my favorite episode ever (Bart vs. Australia):

Aide: Please to repeat again and I will translating for the el presidente.
Bart: [slowly] Which way does the water turn in your toilet?
Aide: [in Spanish] He says the tide is turning!
Presidente: Ay, caramba! Then the rebels will soon take the capital. I must flee! [dives out window]

Posted by: Abe Froman at May 20, 2008 5:50 PM

"By the end of the season, the show had lapsed into a bit of the outlandishness that's plagued its later years (Whacking Day, anyone?)"

Aw man, why'd you have to screw up a great review like that?

Lisa: "Dad, for the last time, please don't lower yourself to the level of the mob!"

Homer: "Lisa, maybe if I'm part of that mob, I can help steer it in wise directions. Now where's my giant foam cowboy hat and airhorn?"


Lisa: "Everyone likes Whacking Day, but I hate it! Is there something wrong with me?"

Homer: "Yes, honey."

Lisa: "Then what should I do?"

Homer: "Just squeeze your rage into a bitter, little ball, and release it at an appropriate time! Like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle. (in baby talk): Remember that?"

Lisa: "Yeah..."

Homer: "When daddy hit the referee?"

Lisa: "Yeah..."

Homer (hugs Lisa): "Yeah..."


QUIMBY: "You people are a bunch of fickle mushheads. I'm sick of all of you."

MEMBER OF CROWD: "Give us hell, Quimby!"

CROWD: "Yaaaaaaay!"


QUIMBY:

Posted by: cazart at May 20, 2008 5:59 PM

Abe Froman>> Great analysis. I agree the fact that we cared about the characters was the strength of the show in its early years. There are episodes that are genuinely as heartwrenching as many of the best dramas on television.

Watching the movie last summer I was compelled to wonder if that same movie would have had more of an impact if it had been made ten years earlier. How many times have we seen Marge leave Homer? How many times have we seen Lisa fall for the handsome nerd/hippie? The movie had its merits, but the emotional mileage of the characters has run out. The diminishing of The Simpsons has less to do with the nuts and bolts of rehashed plots and more to do with the fact that there simply are no places left for the characters' personal arcs to travel and grow.

I think you're a little late in the exact point that the show lost its emotional effectiveness. "Natural Born Kissers" was not until the end of season nine, and I find season nine very 50/50 hit-or-miss, the first season to have such a low success rate (although its hits are wonderful).

Many cite "Homer's Enemy" at the end of season eight as the beginning of the end. It's easy to make that argument given that we have Homer's complete insensitivity toward Frank Grimes' humble diligence, plight, and eventual death. In past seasons Homer would have been redeemable; in this instance he was completely unapologetic, with the episode's concluding with his snoring at the funeral. The first time I saw the episode I remember being slightly unsettled by the change in spirit, although I have acquired a great deal of affection for that episode now in terms of its status as a metanarrative.

Oh, and "Bart Vs. Australia"? Another season six episode! :- )

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 20, 2008 6:26 PM

DarthCorleone said:

"A Star Is Burns (underrated greatness with so many great gags - "Boo-urns! Boo-urns!")"

"Lemon Of Troy (holy crap, this episode alone can kick most other seasons' asses all by itself - "Spring forth, burly protector, and save me!")"

These are two of my favorites.

Barney: My name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout's meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?

Posted by: Rebecca at May 20, 2008 6:41 PM

"I call this one Bitey."

Posted by: Maddy at May 20, 2008 8:17 PM

There are a ton of great episodes, but two that still stand out:

- Homer and the Babysitter. This epidsode had so many story lines and jokes that it was hard to believe they packed it into 22 minutes.

- Clown College. One of the best lines ever:

GANGSTER 1 - "Boss, do you want me to shoot him execution style or gangland style?"

MOB BOSS - "Listen to your heart."

Posted by: kevinff at May 20, 2008 8:27 PM

Oh, and I misspelled "reverend."

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 20, 2008 8:33 PM

Lisa: "Everyone likes Whacking Day, but I hate it! Is there something wrong with me?"

Homer: "Yes, honey."

Lisa: "Then what should I do?"

Homer: "Just squeeze your rage into a bitter, little ball, and release it at an appropriate time! Like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle. (in baby talk): Remember that?"

Lisa: "Yeah..."

Homer: "When daddy hit the referee?"

Lisa: "Yeah..."

Homer (hugs Lisa): "Yeah..."

cazart, you just made me laugh out loud, and I will be watching this episode on dvd tomorrow.

Also, I do agree with the lot of you on how the show has lost it over the years, but when I do watch the recent episodes, I still do laugh 2 or 3 times throughout, which I can say is 2 or 3 more times than most shows out there today (I think The Office, 30 Rock and Always Sunny are the only ones left). A bad episode of The Simpsons is still funnier than 95% of the other sitcoms out there, so I'll take it.

Posted by: aidan at May 20, 2008 8:46 PM

I probably haven't watched this show with any regularity since I was 9 or something. I compare my interest in this show to Boy Meets World--I'm chagrined how such a big piece of pop culture doesn't interest me as much as pretty everyone else in the world. I would probably enjoy going over the older seasons and find them funny, but why is it still on? In a world of blogging, the cultural references are dead before they're animated.

Posted by: kelsy at May 20, 2008 8:52 PM

DarthCorleone

Great points. Looking back, I guess I didn't word my argument about Natural Born Kissers the way I should have. What I meant was that after that episode, there was no redemption of the series with amazing episodes anymore. Certainly, during season 9, there were some less-than-stellar stories (Bart Star, All Singing, All Dancing, Simpson Tide), but it also seemed like there was always an episode that followed that brought the series back to its highest points of humor. After Natural Born Kissers, the tone of the show just seemed to change, and while there were moments in most episodes that were great, no more was there any consistency to the quality of the writing.

I also see your point about Homer's Enemy, but instead of viewing that episode at face value, I see it as a wonderful examination of the universe of The Simpsons from the lens of an objective outsider, or as you perfectly describe it, a metanarrative. Frank Grimes doesn't know anything about Homer's past or his tendency to make colossal mistakes which everyone chooses to overlook. Compare it to what would happen if someone from the real world, with no knowledge of The Simpsons' existence, was dropped into Springfield and began working at the nuclear power plant. He or she would be aghast at how lax Homer is at being a safety inspector and how no one ever calls him on his incompetency due to his near-tenured status as an employee. I see it as a knowing wink from the writers at how we accept the universe The Simpsons as a show occupies without questioning the unrealistic elements of the characters' words or actions. I agree that it's unnerving to see how nonchalant Homer is about Ol' Grimey's death, given how seriously mortality was usually handled by the show, but the theme of that particular episode wouldn't really have worked had they done it any other way.

Posted by: Abe Froman at May 20, 2008 8:52 PM

In a world of blogging, the cultural references are dead before they're animated.

I don't know if it's the case with this show, but the way around that is simply avoiding being topical. You're dead if you try to stay timely. The MST3K writing studiously avoided it, and that's where the Rifftrax writing can stumble sometimes. It works a lot better to refer back to something. There's an awful lot of history out there, contemporary and ancient!

Is The Simpsons trying to be topical now? I hope not, cause that'd be like when bands stop being who they are and "progress" into sounding like everybody else currently around. And then I get a in a pissy mood and it's just, overall, not good for anybody anywhere.

I was a freshman in 1993 and fondly remember a bunch of us watching a tape of "Cape Feare" that had just aired and it KILLED us. Ahhhh.


"Yeah, you even had a song about it!"

Posted by: Jay at May 20, 2008 9:24 PM

Abe Froman>> Yeah, I see your point about season nine. Looking back over the season nine synopses, though, I'm struck by the fact that most of the ones I consider classic are more dependent upon a particular gag than they are any satisfying emotional journey.

I enjoy "This Little Wiggy" only because we finally had another Ralph-centric episode. I like "Das Bus" somewhat just because of the nod to Lord Of The Flies, the "monkey butler" joke, and the immortal Ralph line "Go, banana!" I like "Girly Edition" because of Mojo the helper monkey. I like "Lisa The Simpson" because of Frostilicus-Jasper. "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" has a means-well-but-still-offensive Homer in that Ganesha outfit. "Trash of the Titans" has Sir Luv-A-Lot with a syringe stuck in him. And I love "The Last Temptation Of Krust" because of the Canyonero and one of Homer's best lines: "Don't you hate pants?" "Lisa The Skeptic" and "Lisa's Sax" are really the only ones that I recall having some satisfying characterization or relationships.

As for "Homer's Enemy," you hit the nail on the head there. It makes me wish that the writers had attempted more shows in that self-aware vein, for perhaps that could have sustained that high level of quality on which we became spoiled for a longer time. (I'm having trouble thinking of any aside from the Behind The Music parody, but after around season twelve I gave up being loyal to the show.) Following your logic, perhaps the line that is drawn by "Homer's Enemy" has less to do with the lack of sentiment and usual morality rules and more to do with the fact that the writers finally gave in and openly acknowledged the audience's participation in the universe. By that point the ratings success, the endless amounts of academic analysis of every conceivable facet of the show, and the merchandising ubiquity could not be staved off any longer. Once that line was crossed - once we were brought inside - the emotional mystique and resonance could not be fully regained.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 20, 2008 9:27 PM

Oh, and your point above about celebs' playing themselves is especially apt. I suppose it's something of a vicious circle: as the show loses its luster, a star is less liable to take a role unless it is self-promotion, but that does not change the fact that those early guest appearances were so strong and an incredible credit to the show.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 20, 2008 9:37 PM

I loved the review, but what took so long? I've seen at least 3 or 4 of these best of TV seasons, and, well, Simpsons season 4 beats everything previously mentioned.

Posted by: Some Guy at May 20, 2008 10:57 PM

Great review, but I have to give the edge to season 7 as being my all-time favourite. In addition to classic episodes like Bart Sells His Soul, Much Apu About Nothing ("Immigrants! I knew it was them! Even when it was bears, I knew it was them!"), Mother Simpson and Two Bad Neighbours, season 7 contains what may be my two favourite episodes of all time: Radioactive Man ("I've said jimminy jillickers so many times the words have lost all meaning!") and A Fish Called Selma. A Fish Called Selma, of course, presents us with the greatest Simpsons moment of all time: Planet of the Apes, the Musical.

"I love you, Doctor Zaius!"

Posted by: Daniel Hall at May 20, 2008 11:52 PM

Did he seriously just get all 'back in my day' about the horror that was the 90s? Back when quality entertainers like the Erkel really pushed the envelope in ways that our ADHD ridden youth will never appreciate.

Posted by: Professor Science at May 21, 2008 12:15 AM

How about this, we throw in seasons 2-8 of the Simpsons, all five seasons of the Wire, a couple of seasons of Farscape, the first two seasons of the Batman animated showand season 5 of Justice League Unlimited and call it a day?

Posted by: sean at May 21, 2008 12:20 AM

There's one Kamp Krusty moment that's very applicable to parents. I've heard the lines "don't be the boy, don't be the boy" numerous times.

Posted by: JS at May 21, 2008 12:20 AM

I'm a youngen, and I grew up watching the Simpsons, so I'll always have a soft spot for the show. Particularly because it was the only time there was any peace and quiet in my house, when the family sat down and watched it together.


But now when I watch it, I guess it's like finding out your best friend from primary school is now a crack whore, what's happened to them?

Posted by: Chantelle at May 21, 2008 7:12 AM

The best course of action is to ignore all 21st Century Simpsons and covet our beloved seasons (4-9). Only they should be regarded as canon.

The retcon they did a few months ago ("That 90s Show") persuaded me leave Springfield for what is was.

My favorite band will always be The Be-Sharps, not Sadgasm.

Posted by: Adere at May 21, 2008 7:18 AM

The Simpsons obviously isn't at the peak of seasons two through seven any more, but it's recovered sharply from its worst years (seasons ten through thirteen). The last few seasons in particular have been pretty sharp; still not as good as the great years, but once again better than most shows on television.

"I say we roll up our sleeves, and fake a disaster to trick the federal government out of relief money."

"Since the dawn of parking lots, man has sought to stuff his gut with food and alcohol, in anticipation of watching others exercise."

"We're getting too many mainstream movies! When are we gonna see a submission with the Sundance independent film spirit?... here. Paul Giamatti..."
(ooohs)
"...is the world's greatest superspy..."
(sighs)
"...who only exists in the mind of an overweight, agoraphobic jazz musician..."
(ooohs)
"...played by Martin Lawrence in a fat suit."
(sighs)

Posted by: mightygodking at May 21, 2008 8:59 AM

Ahhh... Classic Simpsons. Nothing beats Classic Simpsons. Is it just me, or does Matt Groening have a weird habit of making the fourth season the best? Futurama's fourth (and sadly, last) season had two of the most tear jerking episodes ever, with Fry's Dog Seymour waiting for him over the years, to the finale, Where Fry plays us out with a beautiful, simple melody as He and Leela walk off into the sunset. Great Fucking Choice, John.

Posted by: Jeremy at May 21, 2008 11:34 AM

One of my favorite quotes comes from the episode where Homer purchased a gun but was told he'd have to wait five days for the background check:

"Five days!?! But I'm mad now!"

Followed by a nice little montage of Homer sitting on his lawn while numerous tempting targets pass by, including Patty and Selma on a bike, and Flanders on his lawnmower (multiple times).

I have to say I liked Family Guy when it first came out, but after it returned from being canceled, it wasn't the same, just a bunch of disgusting, unfunny sexual jokes. I remember thinking, "They could have brought back Firefly!" Although I did catch the Family Guy remake of Star Wars and found myself laughing a few times:

"Hold your fire; there's no lifeforms on board."

"Hold your fire? What, are we paying by the laser now?"

"You don't do the budget, Terry, I do!"

Getting back to the Simpsons, I also like the episode where Apu's wife gives birth to eight kids; there's a later episode where Homer opens a day care and Apu drops the kids off. No sooner has Homer taken their leashes in his hand and asked "Any medications I should know about?" than has Apu already fled out the door, his answer a distant cry on the wind: "Yes, probably!"

Posted by: DeadBessie at May 21, 2008 12:03 PM

Moe: Linda Rondstadt! How'd you get her?
Barney: Oh, we've been looking for a project to do together for a while.

AWESOME.

Posted by: jeem at May 21, 2008 12:30 PM

Too bad it's 2008 and the show has been one of the worst on TV since eight or nine seasons ago. They should have stopped it back then, it was really great.

(Just now, after writing, I see many people have more or less the same opinion)

Posted by: gargumma at May 21, 2008 12:35 PM

I love the Simpsons

Posted by: buffy at May 21, 2008 1:13 PM

I have to say that my favourite Simpsons quote of all time is from "Mommie Beerest" which I think is the 16th season.

Moe : "Look, I like Moe's the way it is, right? And I ain't changing it for any dame, skirt, Suzi Q or face-macer"

Posted by: Katherine at May 21, 2008 1:21 PM

I still lose it at the part in "Bart Sells His Soul" when Homer and Moe are trying to come up with new names for the restaurant and Barney pipes up from under the sheet, "I like it!" I'm so glad you reviewed this show; now I know what it feels like when doves cry.

Posted by: Geetch at May 21, 2008 1:53 PM

Ummm Doughnuts... Is there anything they can't do?

Posted by: Dan at May 21, 2008 2:58 PM

Yeah, season 4 is fantastic, but season 5 is still the greatest to me.

"Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"

Friggin perfect.

Posted by: Sultanofslut at May 21, 2008 6:33 PM

A lot of people claim that celebrities on the Simpsons playing themselves ruined the show. I disagree: it's just bad writing. "Mark Hamill IS THE STAR, Peppercorn Steak IS THE MEAL!" remains one of my favorite jokes.

Posted by: AWOL at May 21, 2008 7:32 PM

AWOL>> It's not that the celebrities' playing themselves itself ruined the show as much as it is that the phenomenon is indicative of both priorities in storylines and respect for the program by its potential guest stars. The show once stood on its own two feet and didn't rely on that weekly promo trumpeting Mel Gibson, Tony Hawk, Ron Howard, etc., as themselves. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, but I think it's a strong symptom for the show's problems.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 21, 2008 8:30 PM

My favorite line from the Camp Krusty episode is when they find out that the school bullies are their councilors and then one of them sneezes, followed quickly with Jimbo looming over him saying

"Well well well, looks like we've got ourselves a trouble-maker".

Posted by: Matt 2.0 at May 21, 2008 9:41 PM

I was a latecomer to the show, brought in by a former co-worker (we're still bestest buddies). Our favorite quote, which we have slightly revised, is from the Season 3 "German" Episode:

Horst: We Germans aren't all smiles und sunshine.
Burns: Oooh, the Germans are mad at me! I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans!
Horst: Stop it!
Burns: Uh-oh, they're coming to get me!
Man 2: Stop, sir.
Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me!
Man 2: Please stop the "pretending you are scared" game!
Burns: Oh no, the Germans are coming after me!
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Burns: Noooo! They're so big and strong!
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns!
Man 2: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans--
Horst: Burns, STOP IT!

We've amended it to the Germans saying "Stop it, Mr. Burns. Stop saying 'Oooooh the Germans." We just randomly bring that line up and then start quoting the whole thing.

Posted by: Nicole at May 21, 2008 9:44 PM

Yeah, I definitely love the classics. You cut out the best part of Lisa's letter in Kamp Krusty--you have this calm writing, closed with "Save us! Save us now!" It's so great. My personal favorite may be "Hom3r", where he suddenly becomes smart after the crayon in his brain is pulled out: "I am your better! Your better!" "Homer's Enemy" is really unsettling, but it's so dark compared to other episodes--I loved it.


It's pretty clear that the episodes aren't what they used to be. My personal low point was "Kill the Alligator and Run"--it just wasn't there. I've managed to find something funny in each, but not this one, and I actually found it a little offensive.

At the same time, I have to disagree with the person who said that the past eight or nine season have been the worst of TV. I'm pretty sure I could think of much, much worse (particularly unscripted fare). It's still better than a lot of the stuff that's currently out there. I've been really impressed with a lot of this season, particularly their take on the 90s with Homer's grunge band and the return of Mona Simpson in the finale (the first half of it was really touching).

Posted by: Amanda at May 21, 2008 10:08 PM

Abe Froman, I mostly agree with what you wrote, but for me the exact point at which the show passed the point of no return was when they killed Maude Flanders (no idea which series that was). Once they had to kill a character to propel an episode, it showed they were out of ideas.

Cape Feare is my all-time favorite. But there are so many, so many great, truly great episodes, it's a near run thing. A Fish Called Selma is certainly a fine contender, but so is the Stonecutters episode.

Posted by: rocky at May 21, 2008 11:33 PM

Season 4- good choice, though my favourite single moment was from season 8 (?) The Krusty The Klown Prison Special:

"I slugged some jerk in Tahoe
They gave me 1 to 3
My high priced lawyer sprang me on a technicality
I'm just visiting Springfield Prison
I get to sleep at home toniiiiiiight

Hey I kid! I kid 'cos I love!"

Posted by: Dave Shepherd at May 21, 2008 11:52 PM

I still remember every word of the monorail song, but that's the problem. Maybe it's just Australian TV, but up until a year or two ago The Simpsons was on all the damn time. At least one episode a day, usually two. And it wasn't every episode, it seemed to be a smattering from Seasons 2 to 8ish. I never tried to memorise episodes, but these days I can tell an episode from the first 20 seconds or so. It used to be an excellent show, but I can't bear it anymore.

Posted by: James at May 22, 2008 2:24 PM

Dental plan!

Posted by: Chris at May 22, 2008 5:06 PM

"We didn't all go to Gudger College"

Posted by: Jersey Mike at May 22, 2008 8:12 PM

"HOT DAMN, I'M GOING TO SEAWORLD!!!!!!!!"


funniest moment EVER in the history of TV.

Posted by: dv at May 22, 2008 9:11 PM

here's a commercial from rainier wolfcastle's native austria:

(sitting on dock in lederhosen with bun in hand and fishing pole in other)

mein bratwurst has a first name
it's f-r-i-t-z
mein bratwurst has a second name
it's s-c-h-n-a-c-k-e-n-p-f-e-f-f-e-r-h-a-u-s-e-n
(voice trails off at very end)

i think i suffered an aneurysm the first time i saw this...it still cracks me up

Posted by: djkimcheelove at May 24, 2008 6:03 AM

here's a commercial from rainier wolfcastle's native austria:

(sitting on dock in lederhosen with bun in hand and fishing pole in other)

mein bratwurst has a first name
it's f-r-i-t-z
mein bratwurst has a second name
it's s-c-h-n-a-c-k-e-n-p-f-e-f-f-e-r-h-a-u-s-e-n
(voice trails off at very end)

i think i suffered an aneurysm the first time i saw this...it still cracks me up

Posted by: djkimcheelove at May 24, 2008 6:07 AM

CAPE FEARE!!!! best episode ever!!!!!

When i say hello Mr. Thompson you smile and nod

Hello Mr. Thompson

I think he is talking to you!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: rory at May 27, 2008 4:15 PM

djkimcheelove, that still makes me weep. My sister sings it all the time and it's still pee-yourself inducing humour. Also, Cape Feare is classic for the rake sequence and I loved this little bit:

But what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, "Die, Bart Die"?

No, that's German for "the Bart, the."

Well, no one who speaks German could be an evil man.

Posted by: nipsy at May 30, 2008 8:40 AM

I don't know if the episode in which Homer forgets about Bart in the playground(even though santa's helper and maggie reminded him)...well, in the middle of the storm you can see the flying nun and how she exploted when the wind took her hahaha

or the house of edgar allan poe ...
all those things exploted back then

it was funny

...well, if you don't know me this comment might sound kinda silly...but who cares...I liked when these things happened.

Posted by: Mar!o at June 5, 2008 1:43 AM

Yeah, so I'm late to the party here, but how come no one has yet quoted:

The goggles - they do NOTHING!

Posted by: heddy at August 27, 2008 6:25 AM