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Guides | July 10, 2007 | Comments (123)


For the legions of faithful Pajibans, it’s a safe bet that the likes of Dave Foley, Mark McKinney, Scott Thompson, Bruce McCullough and Kevin McDonald need no introduction. Now, I’m not the type to throw around words like “hero” or “idol” all willy nilly — but when it comes to these five guys? Well I’d be damned near lying if I said I regarded them as anything less. You see, as a 14 year old in the early 1990s — while the other girls were gushing over Luke Perry and whoever else was the hot item of the moment, I was fantasizing of someday becoming Mrs. Dave Foley. Right there speaks volumes about my social status back in those days, which is part of the reason why, at such a young age, I was drawn to comedy in the first place.

When I discovered “The Kids in the Hall,” I was already a fan of the usual suspects like “Saturday Night Live” and “SCTV.” But when it came to the “KITH” there was something different going on. It was irreverent, unconventional, and to my impressionable brain, it seemed downright avant-garde. I became obsessed with the show; I didn’t just watch it — I studied it. There’s no doubt that the impression the series left on me in those formative years largely contributed to who I am today.

Having said all that, I couldn’t be prouder to be putting together this apt tribute by showcasing some of their finest and most hilarious sketches from the five seasons of their television show (which ran from 1989-1994). Narrowing down the entire catalog of their work to a manageable number of sketches was no easy feat, so my criteria was based mostly on which ones were so outstanding that they still hold up every bit as well today, nearly two decades later.

Honorable Mentions: Building this quasi-comprehensive list wouldn’t be possible without honorable mentions. I faced limitations at the mercy of YouTube, which suffered an immense crackdown at the hands of Broadway Video about a week before this guide published, and, unfortunately, I had to cut a couple of favorites. The two most notable cuts were “Salty Ham,” starring the hugely underrated recurring characters Fran and Gordon; and the somewhat obscure “Just One Bite,” a fantastic sketch starring Dave Foley as a man struggling with some confectionary demons. Otherwise the list stands relatively unscathed. As for other nods: “Doe A Deer” and the “Dr. Suess Bible” just missed the cut, while some recurring characters like Gavin, the King of Empty Promises, and the Chicken Lady — while brilliant in their conception — became a little too repetitive for me over time.

If I missed your favorite, which is quite possible — be sure to leave it below in the comments! And now on to the Crème de la Crème, in chronological order:


“Daves I Know” (Season 1) — It just wouldn’t be a complete list without the Daves’ song, a favorite of both casual and diehard fans alike. This sketch was in the first episode of “The Kids in the Hall” I ever watched, and it was pretty much love at first sight.



“Running Faggot” (Season 1) — “Running Faggot” is the kind of clip that if you tried to describe it to someone, they would probably be either incredulously flabbergasted or just all out fucking confused. If you haven’t seen it, just watch. And to everyone else — you know exactlywhat I mean.



“Bank People” (Unedited version, aka Screw the Bank) (Season 1) — Bruce may well be my favorite Kid, and I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love his monologues. Picking just one to feature in this guide was tough — what with the “Poo Guy,” “Open Letter to the Guy Who Stole My Bike Wheel,” and “Brucio” — but ultimately, “Screw the Bank” wins me over with the delivery of the line, “Sir, were you aware that you are gross?”



“Pit of Ultimate Darkness” (Season 2) — Kevin and Dave’s well-played eeeeevil counterparts are another favorite of fans across the board. Interesting piece of trivia — Kevin was originally slated to play Hecubus while Mark was to play Simon. However, Kevin, who wrote the characters and had envisioned it the other way around, put his foot down shortly before production started and the rest is history.



“Police Department — Pig” (Season 2) — Long before “Reno 911,” Bruce McCullough and Mark McKinney had the market cornered on incompetent police humor. In this sketch, Scott absolutely nails it as the belligerent tormentor.



“Daddy Drank” (Season 2) — This clip is pretty much a must see for any child of a shitty alcoholic parent. Because, if nothing else, we should all be able to laugh about the time Kevin’s dad told him that he bought him a puppy and then ate it; or that when I was in high school my mom stole all the money I saved while working a part-time job. Otherwise, we’d all just be fucking depressed. But it’s probably almost as fun for people who come from happy, well-adjusted families, too.



“Girl Drink Drunk” (Season 3) — It all started with a “Chocolate Choo Choo.” One of my all-time favorites, and I know it’s one of yours. Dave had us at “I’m just … getting some … paper clips!”



“The Mouse” (Season 3) — The character of “Tucker” was seen only once more throughout the series’ five-year run, when he was later tormented by a sports car’s high-tech security system. There’s just something unmistakably hilarious about a slightly retarded guy being terrorized by a plucky mouse. And on a personal level, who among us can say that a mouse hasn’t at some point pooped in our bread? Enjoy.


“Love and Sausages” (Season 4) — “Love and Sausages” is a sketch of epic proportions, so bizarre that it could have come from nowhere else besides the eccentric mind of Bruce McCullough. But once again, it’s Scott who steals the scene as the old man screeching for his sausages.



“Play Back” (Season 5) — As someone who has actually worked in a convenience store, I can tell you this is exactly the sort of thing that happens, except not so much with the giving the finger and pulling a gun on customers as they throw soft pretzels at me. But it’s still pretty awesome to see Bruce do a little dance and cut a fart simultaneously.


Stacey Nosek is a television columnist for Pajiba, and lives in a quaint little town in rural Pennsylvania. You can also visit her blog, Litelysalted.









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Comments

Great List! I can't wait until I get home from work and I can watch all those sketches!

Posted by: Erin at July 10, 2007 2:33 PM

Oh, Staceface! I love this.
Thanks for including two Bruce sketches. You know how I feel about him.
"I'll eat pancakes on her grave!"

Posted by: Constance at July 10, 2007 2:41 PM

Say what you want about Chicken Lady getting repetitive, the sketch with her at a strip club is an all-time classic.

On SNL, if the men are dressed as women that is the entire joke. On KITH, it's just the beginning and that is part of the genius.

These are the lines I find myself thinking upon occasion-

She's just a drunk chick from Winnipeg...

Who's to blame Maggie? Huh? Who's to blame?

Screw the bank I work for. Screw the bank!

Posted by: Henry at July 10, 2007 2:47 PM

I'm so happy to see "Girl Drink Drunk" on this list, but no Buddy Cole? "I make the word 'Canadian' sound sexy."

Posted by: abacus53 at July 10, 2007 2:47 PM

Screw the Bank might be my favorite comedy sketch of all time, ever. There's just something so wonderful about him jumping off his stool. "But at night, I go crazy!"

Posted by: EAD at July 10, 2007 2:50 PM

I need to Netflix TKITH. Now.

Posted by: Julie at July 10, 2007 2:52 PM

Awesome list! And how thrilled was I at seeing an article devoted to KitH?

Other favorites: "Bad Doctor" and the "Polite Axe Murderer" ("I have a hacksaw" "Ooh, I'm an *axe* murderer"). Plus "Skoora, the Gentle Shark", "The Cause of Cancer"...

Man that must have been a hard list to compile!

Posted by: Jenna at July 10, 2007 2:53 PM

Sidebar -

If we don't say the n-word or the f-word because we consider the reckless use of demeaning and pejorative language wrong, isn't it time to retire the r-word that is used in the description of the mouse sketch? Seriously, it's offensive.

Posted by: Henry at July 10, 2007 2:55 PM

Amazing post!! This show is fantastic.. so happy for the sausages mention. My sister and I still randomly yell out "SAUSAGES!!!!"

Posted by: TraderZed at July 10, 2007 2:58 PM

Ah, some other favorites...

"New Snake!!!!"

The one where the kid brings home the businessman as a pet... ("Taxi! Taxi!")

Also, Mississippi Gary and the temp.

Posted by: Jen at July 10, 2007 3:02 PM

Not nearly as fantastic as Kids in the Hall but still capable of one or two brilliant moments was "The State" on MTV, which I watched when we didn't get any channels tKitH were on.

I know Barry and LeVon's $240 worth of pudding is on YouTube somewhere, and maybe Muppet Hunting is out... I highly reccommend for any Kids fans.

Posted by: twig at July 10, 2007 3:06 PM

One of my favorites not on the list is "Comfortable with menstruation" with Dave Foley.
But Dave's I know is also a personal favorite.
I loved Dave Foley.

Posted by: anikitty at July 10, 2007 3:06 PM

Yes, a shout-out to Buddy Cole! Scott was at his best as sly Buddy C., coyly sipping his cocktail over wry discussions of the vagaries of the Queen's love for her Canadian subjects.

Awesome list, Stacy, I'm searching the TV listings now for episodes. One minor complaint, however, re the sentence "Well I'd be damned near lying if I said I didn't regard them as anything less." I spent a good 60 seconds unraveling this sort-of triple-negative, which I finally concluded says the opposite of what you meant in context.

Ack -- it took me like 5 minutes of rolling it around in my head to realize you were right. Fixed, thanks! -- SN

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 10, 2007 3:09 PM

I became introduced to KITH in college and became transfixed at the 2-3pm slot that ran every day. Eventually, a buddy of mine made a videotape of those shows (including God Is Dead! and 30 Helens Agree and the great steel tipped boots episode) and I watched it religiously. Whenever my college buddies get together its nothing but KITH quotes and watching the DVD's...good times- I will crush you!

Posted by: Blackcapricorn at July 10, 2007 3:11 PM

Oh Wow...this is great. Growing up we didn't have cable so I was stuck watching the crap on the CBC...until KITH came along. I'm surprised my mom let me watch as young as I was but it made an impression on me. So much so that I made a total ass of myself when I ran into Scott Thompson walking down Church St. Oh boy...His mouth said "Glad that you liked the show." But his eyes said, "Medication time for the crazy stalker."

On another note...I love the 'Steps' jokes....its so bloody true about Toronto's gay culture at the time.

Posted by: Ms. Parker at July 10, 2007 3:16 PM

OMG OMG OMG OMG! I am flipping out here in cubicle land. I fraking WORSHIP KITH. Bruce is soooo my favorite (Terrier song anyone?) but obviously Dave ranks up there too (although I would have mentioned Monique). Oddly, and you may remember the sketch about it, everyone forgot about Kevin, but he was as good as Dave to me, it was Mark that was my least favorite (the whole head pinching humor was lost on me).

Does anyone remember the sketch where Dave and Scott are in a bar and Dave is explaining this movie he saw and goes in to major detail (and we watch Dave and Scott are acting out the movie as Dave explains) and it keeps getting more and more in depth until the characters show up at the bar and kills Scott (or Dave, I dont remember!). Anyway, that was a great one.

Posted by: lizzy at July 10, 2007 3:20 PM

All of the myspace videos are down - they just have a very sad crying face...

Posted by: Jen at July 10, 2007 3:25 PM

Oh, I do love you Stace.

I'd like to say something really profound about the unparalleled brilliance of the Kids in the Hall, but so many sketches, moments and beloved lines that my friends and I have spent more than a decade tossing around just jump into my mind and cloud my ability to think rationally.

Sorry that the King of Empty Promises missed the cut ("Will do.") And you're right about Gordon and Fran -- particularly since Fran wound up being the prototype for "Mrs. Hurdicure" in the sorely underrated Brain Candy.

But for some reason, my all-time favorite sketch -- just hilarious in its simplicity -- was Kevin McDonald doing "Your Mother's Cheated on Me... Bell Biv Devoe." I have no goddamned idea what it is about McDonald that just made me laugh every time I saw him, but he remains one of the people I'd be most likely to fall at the feet of should I ever meet.

I was lucky enough during the mid-90s to go to a few parties at Foley's place in L.A (he was a friend of a friend and happened to live right around the corner from me), but unfortunately none of the other Kids were ever there -- and believe me, I'm sure I subconsciously loitered by the door like a schoolgirl, waiting for the moment I might see two or three of them in the same place at the same time.

I still hold out hope to this day -- and I've never stopped idolizing those guys.

Thanks for the memories.

Posted by: Chez at July 10, 2007 3:28 PM

The chicken lady is alive and well. She's working as an assistant district attorney in Manhattan. I wish I was kidding.

Posted by: bartap at July 10, 2007 3:29 PM

GONE ALL THE LINKS ARE GONE

Posted by: Withnail at July 10, 2007 3:34 PM

"Who would fuck YOU?"

I wonder sometimes, I really do. Thanks for confirming that Bruce McCulloch is responsible for 80% of my weird nightmares during my formative years. KITH was funny, but it mostly freaked me the hell out. In a good way, though.

And I literally know how it feels to have a mouse poop in your bread. Let's just say, I got a crash course in rodent infestation prevention a few months ago. A few hefty bricks and several cans of well-placed crack sealing foam later, we now have an understanding; mostly that they don't fuck with my food, I won't poison them or, as my dad suggested horribly, catch one alive and burn his fur, then release him as a warning to the others.

And "Love and Sausages" seems to be the perfect follow-up on my meat-eating rant.

Posted by: Vermillion at July 10, 2007 3:38 PM

KITH love!

Some of my faves:

King of Empty Promises
"My pen, my pen!"
Buddy Cole
Don't remember the name of the sketch, but it was the one where the office coffee was replaced with decaf
Gordon and Fran
Daves I Know

I'll stop now. *sigh*

Posted by: west at July 10, 2007 3:41 PM

This was my favorite show growing up! I always thought it was a Canadian thing and the Americans didn't know about this show. What about "I Don't Spread For No Roses" or the one with the guy who gets his pen stolen. You can't forget the one with Scott Thompson as the sterotypical 1950's gay man in "You and your Slave." All clasics. Great list by the way. Brings back fond memories.

Posted by: AmyRose at July 10, 2007 3:43 PM

Whoops! there they are.

Posted by: Withnail at July 10, 2007 3:43 PM

Every time I hear the word "sausages", I have to repeat it (at least in my mind) imitating the voice of Scott Thompson. Thank you for also appreciating this skit. My boyfried loves KITH but for some reason cannot remember this one and looks at me like I am stupid whenever I scream for sausages.

Posted by: hanners at July 10, 2007 3:46 PM

What a useless dog.

Posted by: Jayne at July 10, 2007 3:52 PM

my mother came in while the "Doctor Seuss Bible " sketch was on and from then on I was forever barred from watching "that 'kids" show." So I missed a lot. Thank you.

Posted by: Theresa at July 10, 2007 3:52 PM

I forgot to mention the Flying Pig and Polite Axe Murderer. There are too many clasics from this show...

Posted by: Amyrose at July 10, 2007 3:58 PM

lizzy - That Bruno Pontz Jones and Francesca Fiore sketch is one of my personal favourites. The way Scott/Francesca says "aleegator" cracks me up no matter how many times I watch it.

I am so excited to see KITH get some love here on Pajiba. So many people my age, even Canadians, have never seen it. I guess my parents were a tad permissive (and awesome) when it came to what television they would let their young children watch.

Also, I am really sad you couldn't link to the clip of "Salty Ham." Pure gold.

Posted by: gill at July 10, 2007 4:00 PM

I was seven when the KITH ended, I discovered and fell in love with it in syndication when I hit high school. Nobody knew what I was talking about.

Thank God 'Girl Drink Drunk' is up there because it is easily my all time favorite. 'My Pen' is right up there too.

Posted by: adamae at July 10, 2007 4:03 PM

Glad to know I wasn't the only 14 year old dreaming of being Mrs. Dave Foley. Thanks for this, it made my day!!!

Posted by: Jackers at July 10, 2007 4:05 PM

Jacques and Francois- the play on furtrappers who hunt businessmen for their suits- is my personal favourite. Haven't been able to find it on Youtube.

Posted by: Lannie at July 10, 2007 4:06 PM

I always thought Kevin was the prettiest when he dressed like a lady.

Bruce was my favorite kid, and my favorite of his characters was the angry little mullet-wearing redneck who was always in some drama with his gross white trash girlfriend, as played with panache by Mark Kinney.

I own S1 on DVD. Time to revisit.

Posted by: MSat at July 10, 2007 4:19 PM

I, at one point, wanted to marry each KITH. I saw them live in Boston when I was college and it was pretty much the funniest thing I've ever experienced. Most times when sketch comedians break character during sketches I get pissed, but I'll never forget the look on Scott Thompson's face when he was trying to repress his laughter. I nearly cried from happiness. (Thank you Sara for getting me that ticket.)

Posted by: Jen at July 10, 2007 4:21 PM

30 Helens agree, this list is awesome! I spent way too many late nights in college watching Kids reruns on Comedy Central instead doing more productive things, like sleeping or writing papers.

Posted by: audrey at July 10, 2007 4:22 PM

I think Bruce's "Potato Salad" is one of my non-listed favorites.

"Mix mix, stir stir, I married young, it's all a blur!"

Kevin's "Bass Player" sketch is also great. So is "Dipping Areas."

I wonder who owns that moon?

God I love this show.

Posted by: Trashley at July 10, 2007 4:33 PM

One of the best "good for you" guides EVER. And please count me in on one of the young 'uns who totally wanted Dave Foley's ass. Ahhh, Dave Foley...

Delineate! Delineate! Delineate!

THE BEARD STAYS! YOU GO!

Had to get that outta my system :)

Posted by: em at July 10, 2007 4:39 PM

You have no idea how happy this makes me. I spent *years* watching this show religiously. Marathon after marathon after marathon. I still say it's the funniest show of all time and you've got me feeling so nostalgic now...

Posted by: elyssadc at July 10, 2007 4:44 PM

Just a few days ago my sister and I were discussing the use of "I'm crushing your head!" as a litmus test for choosing friends.

SAUSAGES!!! I didn't realize that this sketch was at all popular even though it is one of my faves.

And I, too, wanted to be Mrs. Dave Foley.

Posted by: Bex at July 10, 2007 4:44 PM

Great list. The Kids in the Hall lines I most often repeat to my friends from college:

"I gotta go, I'm in the middle of a big bike race!"

"The beard stays. You go!"

And finally, from one of the Chicken Lady sketches, the grossest line ever in comedy, spoken as the chicken lady hands the strong man a plate of scrambled eggs: "right out of my body and onto your plate."

Posted by: andyh at July 10, 2007 4:47 PM

After watching them all and reading the comments, I would also like to add Hotel Le Rut (Tony, what is he doing? who is he with?) and "Murray, those are just hawk-like sounds!" to the ever-growing KITH love around here.

Posted by: Blackcapricorn at July 10, 2007 5:21 PM

My all time favourite is the guy with no movie memory, you know the one, where they're at a restaurant and he's clearly talking about a specific movie and his friend keeps suggesting the right one, but he denies that's the one
"You mean that one with Dave Foley?"
No, no. It's this guy and his friend eventually stabs him
"Yeah, it's dave foley and it's the italian restaurant set"
No that's not it. Kevin MacDonald is a waiter or something...
oooo. Meta.

Posted by: Brin at July 10, 2007 5:29 PM

Ooo! And sorry, but of course M. Piedlourde.

Posted by: Brin at July 10, 2007 5:32 PM

Kathy and Cathie, Tammy ("I won't spread for no roses"), and I second the Bel-biv-Devo shout-out.

Good times; great list! Will have to bust out the dvds tonight.

Posted by: Katie at July 10, 2007 5:38 PM

Got any pot? *giggle*

I've never stopped crushing heads, and have taught my daughter to do so. Thanks for the memories!

Posted by: Jaime at July 10, 2007 5:58 PM

I always thought that Kevin was the least attractive in a dress.
What about Buddy on the lesbian softball team?

Posted by: anikitty at July 10, 2007 5:59 PM

ALWAYS PUT SALT IN YOUR EYES!

Posted by: Bucko at July 10, 2007 6:02 PM

ALWAYS PUT SALT IN YOUR EYES

Posted by: Bucko at July 10, 2007 6:03 PM

Also,

"Office: Submarine"

Posted by: Bucko at July 10, 2007 6:05 PM

In our house, the random KITH reference is "I'm in the middle of a big bike race!"

Yes, the Chicken Lady got old, but her blind date with a horrified Dave Foley is still awful and funny.

Maybe you could lead a discussion about the best SCTV sketches sometime, too. I feel like my brother and I are the only people who remember SCTV.

Posted by: ak at July 10, 2007 6:49 PM

Andyh, I missed your comment. I was wondering why no one had mentioned the Chicken Lady date yet.

Posted by: ak at July 10, 2007 6:53 PM

"Now, if my head was veal, which I know it is not; How much would it cost?"

Own all 5 seasons on DVD, absolutely brilliant. Had to throw in a mention of Gavin.

Also the "Darril" sketch when he becomes a big brother.

Posted by: Chris at July 10, 2007 7:00 PM

True story: it was 1990 or so, KITH was playing on CBC, and I heard the word "fuck" for the first-ever time on prime-time (Canadian) television. It was so...genuine. I knew then the world had changed.

Peeps have been great covering all my favourites, and then some. A few more:

"Fattening up our tapeworms"
"Packages!"
Mr. Tisane

God bless StaceFace for putting up this Guide, and God bless KITH, the best sketch comedy troupe since the Pythons, and probably ultimately just as culturally important (what KITH did for GLBT tolerance alone...)

Posted by: Ranylt at July 10, 2007 7:34 PM

JERRY SIZZLER!!!!


PRRRICK!!!

Posted by: Robert at July 10, 2007 7:45 PM

Oh and:

"Gerald!...Gerry...Ger!...Guh..."

(See what you started?)

Posted by: Ranylt at July 10, 2007 7:47 PM

Awww! You do care. Anyone else seen Brain Candy a dozen times? Anyone? Just me then.

Posted by: greer at July 10, 2007 7:50 PM

Oh god, I have to go play those dvds again!
And in my family we crush everyone's heads on a regular basis, even the cat's. :)
Thanks Stacey, for the excellent morning laugh.

Posted by: Loob at July 10, 2007 8:17 PM

i spent so much time watching/taping this show! i was going to marry bruce! i was shocked not to see "MY PEN!" on the list and surprised to see "sausages" up there...it is such a strange sketch i thought i was one of the few who loved it--guess not. (i also love the squirrel toupee sketch!). my sister and i quote this show on a daily basis, from wanting chocolate choo-choos to calling each other "my clearly insane sister" to getting that "someone's gonna get a thousand dollars" song stuck in our heads.

here's a few of my favorite sketches/characters:

didn't like the lamp

francesca fiore and bruno puntz jones (don't be
eat by alligator, is party, i be mad!)

fran and gordon (oh gordon, my hips just locked.)

king of empty promises

Posted by: Kelley at July 10, 2007 8:49 PM

Sigh...I never did get the appeal of those Kids. Was never allowed to watch it at home, and when I finally did see it, it was a real "is this all I'm missing?!!" moment. It's a little rough around the edges for my taste.

And yet...I am truly impressed by how ubiquitous many of the jokes are! "The Daves I Know," Chicken Lady, "Running Faggot," head-crushing--all of these bits I know without having watched an entire episode. Wow, quite a contribution to our collective comedy consciousness.

Posted by: MO at July 10, 2007 8:49 PM

(beaten to the suit trappers, Mississippi Gary, Hotel La Rut and the a cappella Sizzlers)

I found myself making a reference to Mr. Gorgonchuck recently commenting on a guy playing the flute ("whereas *I* look forward to the dominance...OF JAZZ!") and I needed that sketch, and found I needed a lot more all of a sudden too (YouTube's kinda weak, but the stuff's out there if you're looking for quick fixes, you know, before buying the dvd's, as I certainly will very soon).

if you'll indulge me, and maybe I can make you laugh in memory replay as you did me:

I'll be dead soon

"I gotta get away...get away from her name!!"
"Laura?"

Dammit it's not a symbol, it's brown stuff, and it's coming out of my mouth!

Mama Compensation's a bitch goddess

EEEERADICATOR!

Course a good dump's always good too!

"Did you finish building the fence?"
"Do you *see* a fence?"
"No."
"-----"

So it's not couture? It's a regular spike?

what with his faggy little hands.

Always the puppy, licking the face.

This wouldn't happen if Elvis were my landlord.

Oh, me? I'm a cat.

if I'm gay for anybody it's Dave Foley in drag. I like women with short(er) hair and glasses, so combine that with his big, pretty eyes and cute face and Dave Foley becomes my kinda girl very convincingly! The Quebecois hooker works too.

Posted by: Jay at July 10, 2007 9:21 PM

Everytime we cook (veggie) sausages in my household, one of us inevitably says "saaaauuuusaagessss..." which is just one example of the impact they have had on my sisters and I.
Kids in the Hall was on the banned list when living with my mother so it was especially fun visiting my dad because it meant I could watch the Kids without discussions as to why that person was dressed as a chicken and orgasming.
I wanted to be Mrs. Dave Foley too, until I began seeing Mark McKinney in my neighbourhood, he's still very cute. I've taken to crushing his head from afar, though apparently he's a regular at the cafe I now work at when he's not filming elsewhere, meaning one of these days I will get to ask him if he wants anything else with his coffee *crushcrush*.

Posted by: ohdear at July 10, 2007 9:41 PM

You know why these internets are so great? I found all my fellow dweebs.

I have every episode of KITH on DVD. And I CANNOT believe you left out Buddy Cole. Shit, those would tear me up every time.

I don't even remember precisely when I discovered KITH, but I was in my early 20s when they first hit the air in the US and I watched it late at night, holding a teething, grumpy baby in one arm and trying to wipe spit up off myself with my free hand.

They got me through those long nights. Now that baby is a teenager. Sigh.

Sorry, I got off-topic. I love Pajiba.

Posted by: Kathy at July 10, 2007 11:46 PM

Oh and not to commit heresy or blasphemy or whatever it would be, but if you had EVERY skit from all the seasons and were able to watch them all today, you'd see that not all of their stuff aged well. Some of it just leaves you going "heh?" But the rest is great.

Posted by: Kathy at July 10, 2007 11:51 PM

Nice to see all of the Canada-Love here.

Okay, I have a confession. I was really little when this show was on. I used to watch it with my (much) older sisters, and have memories of them covering my eyes and ears when Chicken Lady went to the strip club. I confess that when I first saw the 'Pen Sketch', I laughed so hard when the guy got stabbed in the ear that I peed all over my sister's bed. She was too much older than me for her to get mad, but you've opened up an old wound there. But yeah, the show kicks arse!

Posted by: M at July 10, 2007 11:55 PM

"one of these days I will get to ask him if he wants anything else with his coffee"

Do you like it? I made it with my very own --

Posted by: Bucko at July 10, 2007 11:59 PM

I am so happy this is here. I love KiTH and "Daddy Drank" has got to be my favorite skit ever. I was kind of sad to see no Head Crusher skits on here though.

Posted by: katie at July 11, 2007 2:43 AM

"Help Sex Boy. Rub Sex Boy."
"I'm a Bad Doctor."
"But you don't know anyone in the ocean!"
"I am glad I'm in my youth! I can speak the ham... of truth!"
"It's a businessman, mom! He followed me home. can I keep him?"
"I'm sorry I caused all that Cancer."
"...and?"
"And I'll never do it again!"
"Scott just played his hundredth waiter!"
AND EVERY SINGLE THING BUDDY LOVE EVER SAID!

Posted by: Withnail at July 11, 2007 3:08 AM

I had the pear dream again...

Posted by: Maggie at July 11, 2007 3:39 AM

A few of my faves:
- The loner: Mark McKinney has developed gangrene in his toe and stabs a fork in his leg to demonstrate his numbness.
- Business suit trappers: "No, François, let that one go! He has spirit! Some day he might be vice president."
- The lady is a tramp: Dave as the fine gentleman who marries a lady of the night (Scott).
- Scott Thompson's rant about people who don't speak English: "Maybe they don't speak it 'cause it's not their first language. So? I mean, where were their parents? Why, why did they teach 'em a language that nobody speaks?"

Also, everything with M. Piedlourde and Gordon & Fran.

Posted by: piedlourde at July 11, 2007 6:09 AM

And for som utter brilliant randomness: "I've lost my indian drum!"

Mark was so feckin' cute in that one. Me wantee.

Posted by: piedlourde at July 11, 2007 6:18 AM

And for som utter brilliant randomness: "I've lost my indian drum!"

Mark was so feckin' cute in that one. Me wantee.

Posted by: piedlourde at July 11, 2007 6:18 AM

Wow, this is just what I needed after having such a crappy week so far. I loved this show to death and used to watch the reruns religiously after getting home from school. My one slight nitpick is that I am fairly certain the Simon and Hecubus sketch is from season two. Other than that, great job!

Nice catch! I swear I proofread this at least 10 times -- I don't know how I missed that! - SN

Posted by: Erin at July 11, 2007 7:31 AM

Why do I keep getting shoved into the junk filter? It sounds so unsanitary.

Posted by: Lainie at July 11, 2007 9:12 AM

So happy to read this. My husband and I love to go around quoting tv shows and movies to one another, but for some reason he never embraced KITH. So when I quote it at him he just looks at me blankly.

"Therefore I should paint your chair." I love the Bruce, too. Not sure why that's the quote sticking with me today.

Posted by: Lainie at July 11, 2007 9:14 AM

One more reference, it was a skit that I got introduced only recently but it has quickly become one of my favorites. "How to Survive a Bear Attack". I have posted the youtube link for all of you KITH fans out there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IR07ieWTH2Q

Posted by: Blackcapricorn at July 11, 2007 10:14 AM

One more reference, it was a skit that I got introduced only recently but it has quickly become one of my favorites. "How to Survive a Bear Attack". I have posted the youtube link for all of you KITH fans out there.

Edit- apparently the spam filter does not like my linking so go to youtube and type in "kids in the hall bear" and it will get you there.

Posted by: Blackcapricorn at July 11, 2007 10:15 AM

One of my favourite sketches was left out. And I think I know why . . . is this because I have a CABBAGE FOR A HEAD?!?!

Posted by: Sarah at July 11, 2007 11:29 AM

LOPEZ! LOPEZ!

Posted by: Withnail at July 11, 2007 11:35 AM

"Lopez.... Lopez... Lopez!"
So simple, yet so funny.

And a "Mr. Heavyfoot" impression always KILLS at parties.

And yes, Scott, Bruce was right... the "Buddy" sketches were too long.

Posted by: Ciji at July 11, 2007 11:45 AM

God, I lived off this show in college. I just recently found myself quoting the greatest Buddy Cole line ever(paraphrased):

"Notice anything different? I quit smoking! I'd only start again if something really awful happened. Is it horrible to wish your parents dead for a cigarette?"

Posted by: megbon at July 11, 2007 12:07 PM

"I'm squishing your head." Plus, the tiny oompa band in Mark's head. Good times...

Posted by: patti at July 11, 2007 12:23 PM

"I am crushing your head!! I am crushing your head!!"

Posted by: NeoCleo at July 11, 2007 12:37 PM

Thanks for "Play Back" and "Running Faggot" - as well as some I'd never seen before.
Other faves that made me laugh till I ached:
Scott's Francesca Fiore and the arrogant redneck monologue.
The family dinner where Grandpa (Bruce) shows off his first poo in 4 years, just before he drops it and the family dog runs off with it.
When they danced around like Peanuts characters to the Peanuts theme song.

Posted by: mfg at July 11, 2007 1:41 PM

Buddy Cole...yeah.

But I think Buddy Love was in THE NUTTY PROFESSOR. I wonder if Stefan Urquelle's head exploded when he saw Eddie Murphy's version.

Posted by: M at July 11, 2007 3:46 PM

I'm glad someone else mentioned The State. I loved that show so, so much. KITC was a phenomenon unto itself, however. Just brilliant.
I really needed this, as I just read the review for "Captivity" and my skin was crawling. Now it is tingling.
Much better. Thank you!

Posted by: go big red at July 11, 2007 4:12 PM

Just a question -- was "the King of Empty Promises" really a recurring character? I only remember the one sketch!

Posted by: Meander at July 11, 2007 5:16 PM

"They stole my gazebo....." and the one where Dave shows Scott his sweet rack in the steamroom and of course, "AW, YOU MADE THE COFFEE NAKED!!!! Anything with AT&Love.

Posted by: Robert at July 11, 2007 5:58 PM

Kudos to all for their remembrances.

I'll add three I haven't seen mentioned yet:

-- Dave as the guy with the congenital sarcastic voice ("Well, isn't it a pleasure to meet YOU Derek") who mortifies Kevin

-- The scuzzy artistic guy (Scott) picking up the high school chick (Mark) and the attendant caustic commentary from his doomed pet tarantulas ("FREDDDDDDDY! REVENGE!")

-- The whole gang playing cards slowly realizing how much they want to be women ("I wish I had tits like that ... breasts like that." "Um, why?" "I don't know ... to give milk and whatnot? Nurture another living thing. I don't know, lots of reasons.")

And an extra special amen to praise for the Leafs fan sketches ("Oh no, not again!")

Posted by: Steve in Houston at July 11, 2007 10:35 PM

I always laugh at the Anal-Probing Aliens sketch. I am also sure that the Great Leader is some sort of twisted ass freak.

Posted by: kfk at July 11, 2007 10:56 PM

Being a waifish grade-school girl and watching KITH on HBO at my grandma's place while eating her homemeade Chex Mix was the happiest time of my life. And your choices are fantastic - especially Running Faggot and MC Simon Milligan. However, I'd like to add:
The Eradicator
The Terrier Song
Gavin wanting to help paint the chair
& my favorite, Bruce's apology for having caused cancer

Posted by: Amanda at July 12, 2007 1:56 PM

My favorites (among others) are ANYTHING Bruce did. While many of you have mentioned wanted to be Mrs. David Foley, I spent my early 20's wishing to be Mrs. Bruce McCulloch. As a matter of fact, I still do now...sigh. Pure genius, that man!

Posted by: kyler22 at July 12, 2007 3:03 PM

I WON'T SPREAD FOR NO ROSES!

Posted by: valentine at July 12, 2007 3:04 PM

I WON'T SPREAD FOR NO ROSES!

Posted by: valentine at July 12, 2007 3:04 PM

One of my personal favorites is the "beard" sketch.

Posted by: dmo at July 12, 2007 4:48 PM

Sex Girl Patrol! That is my all time favorite.

Posted by: Kristen at July 12, 2007 7:42 PM

Does anyone else remember the sketch where one of the Kids brought home an imposter who said he was Ed McMahon, and when one of the other Kids questioned him, "Ed" bristled and asked, "Hey, what's with the third degree?"

Or am I getting my shows mixed up?

Posted by: Que Barbara at July 12, 2007 11:01 PM

Que Barbara, no you are definitely not getting your shows mixed up! That was from season 3...Bruce brought home "Ed McMahon" (Mark), and Dave didn't believe it was him. "Look, he's sitting in the chair! The real Ed McMahon sits on the couch!"

Posted by: Heather at July 13, 2007 7:43 AM

(Oh, how could I forget about "Lopez! Lopez!"? Nice catch there, people.)
Yet another Foley gem:

"Wanna know something? I'm a bad doctor. I'm not boasting. I mean, who would? Just stating a fact that I've never really gotten the hang of the whole healing-the-sick thing."

(A tip: for great transcripts of KiTH skits go to the fansite kithfan.org)

Posted by: piedlourde at July 13, 2007 9:47 AM

Twig, I loved The State! That show was awesome! I was so sad that it didn't last very long. It had been so long since I had heard someone mention it, I thought it might have been a hallucination. And then when you try to describe it to people your own age, they give you this blank stare...

Posted by: Amy at July 13, 2007 2:24 PM

Sorry, Twig! I was thinking of the Young Ones. Which come to think of it, wasn't sketch comedy at all. [Sigh] Too many brain cells lost to a dissolute youth...

Posted by: Amy at July 13, 2007 2:28 PM

Wow, a KITH tribute just days after I marathoned Season One, TWICE. I don't share your love for Bruce as I feel he is the most self-conscious in his acting but I do love the Fran and Gordon sketches.

My favorite sketch from Season One would have to be "TBIM." I love the office secretary sketches.

Posted by: JS at July 14, 2007 12:56 PM

I just saw Kevin McDonald's one-man show at the Just For Laughs festival (which I work for) and it was a KITH history lesson with an elaborated version of 'Daddy Drank'. He also sang some hilarious songs, particularly the one about being the shit-disturbing passive agressive Kid.



This list is great. 'Love & Sausages' is the one I quote the most ever ("we are all made of sausages!"). The Bruce monologue that truly deserves more praise is 'The Hangover', which is unfortunately rare and underrated, but FANTASTIC (part of my giant arm/back tattoo was inspired by the final line "snowflake becomes blizzard.") I also would have loved some Francesca Fiorre/Bruno Puntz-Jones on the list, especially The Fashion Show.

Posted by: rx at July 15, 2007 1:56 PM

"You chose the pedophile's jam...!"

Posted by: antidude at July 15, 2007 3:47 PM

I have no idea what the title of this skit was, but my favorite was the one where two teen-aged kids are getting ready to have sex and the girl goes into the bathroom to change into something sexy. While she's changing, the boy starts looking around the room at the girl's dad's mounted animal heads and the snarling Rottweiler in the room and he passes out. when the girl comes out, he's on the floor getting humped by the Rottweiler. "Oh, Gary!"

Posted by: Forrest at July 16, 2007 12:07 PM

Someone mentioned it earlier but Jerry Sizzler and Jerry Sizzler is possibly the best sketch of all time.

Q: Those wouldn't be your donkeys outside would they?

A: Why no! I mean we might have stolen them, but that doesn't make them our donkeys, does it?

Even better is:

Answer the phone, prick.

Seriously best show ever.

Posted by: gee at July 17, 2007 3:00 AM

"Sidebar -

If we don't say the n-word or the f-word because we consider the reckless use of demeaning and pejorative language wrong, isn't it time to retire the r-word that is used in the description of the mouse sketch? Seriously, it's offensive.

Posted by: Henry at July 10, 2007 2:55 PM"

Fascinating how the word "retarded" upsets you more than the word "faggot", as in "Running Faggot". Even though I know that one of the Kids is openly gay and the skit is tongue-in-cheek, that word is way more offensive than the word that most accurately and succinctly describes the mentally handicapped or whatever current PC phrase is used to describe tards these days. You really need to check out Ruthless.com's articles about people with Down Syndrome. You'll be shrieking your nelly head off with disgust at their (accurate) phobias against these people.

Posted by: matt at July 17, 2007 9:20 PM

"Daddy Drank" has a special place in my heart -- I used it in a video compilation during film school to pitch my thesis film, a dark comedy about a father who wants to literally murder his bratty son. My film didn't make the cut, but I will always love this clip for summing up the tone I was going for perfectly.

Posted by: Stacy at July 23, 2007 4:44 PM

girl drink drunk
my favourite all time kids in the hall sketch, now pass me another Tahiti TeeHee *hic*

Posted by: The Ayatollah Of RocknRolla at July 26, 2007 3:05 PM

I love the sketch in which Scott Thompson plays an artist chosen to give a commencement speech at a local art college's graduation ceremony. He's drunk, bitter and unrelenting -- "...so I painted tits. Tits, tits, TITS!"

Posted by: Ted at July 30, 2007 4:42 AM

Unfuckinbelievable.

I didn't think I could love this site any more than I already did, but this just CEMENTS it. You wanted to marry Dave Foley when you were 14 (and 15.. and 20..) too?!?!

I'm out of words!

Posted by: Nova at August 2, 2007 1:48 PM

Nina from Joymakers sketch:

"Surprise"

One Insane Person sketch with the cured "Lester" Sizzler:

"Monkey in the middle...Oh shit!"

Heart Channel sketch:

"This mans heart is a lump of butter"

Posted by: Cory at August 7, 2007 11:54 PM

These are two phrases I regularly use in daily life which are usually lost on people:

"You lost me"

"Have a good weekend!"

Some Bank People trivia. Apparently this character was based on a guy who used to work at the Royal Bank at the corner of Harbord and Spadina in Toronto. I moved there in 91 and remember him vivdly. He had bleached, shoulder-length wavy hair, was really condescending and rude and really did wear a piano tie. Possible one of the Kids experienced his stellar customer service skill, and this was some kind of beautiful revenge.

Posted by: eloos at August 13, 2007 8:54 AM

Seven words: I have seven things to do today.

Posted by: Marc at August 24, 2007 6:48 AM

My favourite KITH was Mark...nobody else could play so many different types of characters. The other members even said that when they couldn't figure out who should play a character, they would just give it to Mark.

Posted by: Tara at August 26, 2007 9:00 PM

Run for your lives the sun has landed! Not even the children can be saved!

Posted by: Mandy at August 28, 2007 4:47 PM

Soon it will be Autumn, my God, what have I done?

Posted by: Mandy at August 28, 2007 4:50 PM

whoops I mean 'fine ham abounds, Mom'

(Wonderful site Stacey, thanks, I'm having so much fun remembering my favourite quotes! I was on the internet in search of Potato Salad! Radishes and chives... when I stumbled across this page) (scuse me getting any quotes wrong)

You got one hour then out!

Iiiii'm gaaaaaaay!

Posted by: Mandy at August 28, 2007 4:56 PM

Hee hee you said when you were a kid you dreamed of becomming Mrs. Dave Foley, well when I was a kid I dreamed of becomming Mr. Dave Foley. I'm not gay or anything, I just love Kids in the Hall and let's face it, Dave was the prettiest gal of the bunch. Great site, Daddy Drank is one of the must see sketches. But hey, let's not forget Chicken Lady, "ohhh can I have a quarter, can I have a quarter?" "you want a quarter so that you can masturbate in front of my child?" Priceless.

Posted by: RainKing at September 6, 2007 2:44 AM

Please, please... show us "Indian Woman" please!

Posted by: TinatheCanadian at October 2, 2007 6:01 PM

"A mortician! A MORTICIAN! YOU NEED A MORTICIAAAAAN!!"

and

"...sleeping on the job again, huh?"

"...no I wasn't." [Foley half-deep in solid cement]

Posted by: bev at December 3, 2007 5:44 PM

It was amazing to me to find this Pajiba Guide, and even more amazing that I had never actually seen any of these clips. Having been far too young for the "avante-guard" in the '90's, I've just recently formed my relationship with the Kids.

My fondest hope is to meet one of them around Toronto or Montreal...

Posted by: Ling at January 3, 2008 10:56 AM

Oh... and, talking of Bruce, how about the sketch at the bank with the pen? You know... "My peaeaeaeaeaeaen!!!"

Posted by: Ling at January 3, 2008 10:57 AM

Oh... and, talking of Bruce, how about the sketch at the bank with the pen? You know... "My peaeaeaeaeaeaen!!!"

Posted by: Ling at January 3, 2008 10:58 AM