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Six Highly Anticipated Films You May Never Get to See

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Guides | Comments (38)



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All the Boys Love Mandy Lane: The debut of Jonathan Levine, who later directed the marvelous The Wackness, and who has high-profile cancer comedy starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen, and Anna Kendrick due to be released later this year, screened this horror flick first in 2007 at the SXSW film festival, and most recently, at the 2010 International Comic-Con. But, the film — which stars Amber Heard — is still sitting on a shelf, and at this point, may never be released. It’s not too hard to find, however, as I did a couple of years ago, providing this review:

Levine has taken the slasher film blueprint and, without necessarily doing anything particularly original with it, has created a dead teenager movie that you can appreciate not for its campy gloriousness, its machete gore, its body count, or the T & A. In fact, he’s done something I’d never even considered before: He’s crossed Friday the 13th with … Heathers. Actually, the film’s scribe, Jacob Forman, should get credit for the ’80s mash-up, but it’s Levine that sells it. And, my dearest cockswallows, does he ever sell it. Mandy Lane is the tits.

Nailed: The temperamental genius, David O. Russell, who quits as many projects as he directs (most recently, Uncharted and before that, Pride & Prejudice and Zombies), began Nailed even before The Fighter. The film centers on a waitress (Jessica Biel) who gets a spike lodged in her head, and when she can’t get it removed because she doesn’t have health care, she heads to Washington, D.C., to quarrel for health rights. There, she befriends congressman (Jake Gyllenhaal) and from what I understand, there’s a lot of sex involved. Shooting started and stopped several times, as financing dried up. Apparently, there’s only a few scenes left that need to be filmed. There are reports that someone else has edited their own version of the film, from which David O. Russell has dissociated himself. Other reports suggest that the film will be buried for good. It’s too bad, as Paul Reubens — who was in the film — had some very nice things to say about the leads, according to The Playlist:

“And I’ve never seen anybody be so successful with something that complicated [as Gyllenhaal was]. And Jessica Biel is literally—I hate this word, but I can’t think of another word to use—is like a revelation. She’s so incredibly good in the movie, and again, no one’s ever seen her do anything like this… This is like an ingenue. It’s almost like Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz.

Margaret: Filming on Kenneth Lonergan’s follow-up to You Can Count on Me finished back in 2005. But Margaret, which stars Matt Damon, Mark Ruffalo, and Anna Paquin has still yet to be released. In fact, editing is not fully finished. A legal battle erupted over editing; Lonergan can’t seem to get it under three hours, while Fox Searchlight wants a two hour film. Yesterday, it was revealed that Martin Scorsese has been brought in to arbitrate the cut, and there’s some hope that the film may be released by the end of the year. But considering the way things have gone so far, don’t get your hopes up about seeing Margaret — which follows the ramifications of a tragic bus accident as seen through the eyes of a high school student — anytime soon.

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Cabin in the Woods: Joss Whedon’s tongue-in-cheek horror film, which stars Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Chris Hemsworth and Amy Acker was originally set to be released in February 2010. Then it was postponed so it could be converted into 3D. Then it was delayed indefinitely due to the financial problems of MGM. It’s been sold to Lionsgate. There’s some speculation that it may finally arrive of Halloween this year, but after two years of postponements and delays, who the hell knows.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil: The movie, which first screened at Sundance and then at SXSW in 2010, wasn’t as good as the due of Taylor Labine and Alan Tudyk would promise. It was a one-joke movie. But it was a funny joke. Despite our somewhat tepid reception, the film does have a 100 percent rating on the Tomatometer and it is the epitome of the kind of horror comedy that plays well at midnight screenings. And yet, Tucker and Dale still has no distribution. It will be released on DVD in June. In Sweden. Here in the States, you can only find it on the Torrents.



77: I have no idea what happened to Patrick Read Johnson’s ‘77, a coming-of-age movie slash tribute to Star Wars starring John Francis Daley (“Freaks and Geeks”). We first premiered the trailer here in 2009; at that time, it’d already been in development for years. Johnson purportedly even submitted a cut to a film festival in 2006, and it played at a small film festival in 2008. Every year or so, someone brings it up again, the trailer floats around the Internet, and then it’s forgotten. I don’t even know if the film is any good, but the trailer is one of the best I’ve seen.










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Comments

My pants highly anticipate that header picture.

Posted by: Darcy at May 27, 2011 11:13 AM

Trick 'r Treat was on the unreleased list for years. Of the 6 I'm sure Cabin in the Woods and All the Boys Love Mandy Lane will eventually get a release because they are horror movies and those fans are the loudest when it comes to this stuff. I've been waiting for both of those myself.

However, you should add "The Shark is Still Working" to this list as well. A lot of people have been waiting for this definitive Jaws documentary for YEARS now. I'm hoping it shows up on the deluxe edition of the Blu Ray which, I think, is scheduled for this winter.

Posted by: TylerDFC at May 27, 2011 11:21 AM

Dear Hollywood:
I would pay money to see all of these movies in a theater. ALL of them.
So, why do you keep releasing steaming piles of fecal matter such as "The Hangover II" and "Mr. Popper's Penguins"?
What's that? You can't help yourself?
I see. Well, in that case, help yourself to a heaping bowlful of ALL THE DICKS.
Sincerely,
DS

Posted by: Spender at May 27, 2011 11:22 AM

How will we never get to see them when they are on the internet? Nice attempt to get a catchy title but kinda silly

Posted by: Minto at May 27, 2011 11:23 AM

Finally got around to scoring my own region-free DVD player, so thanks for the head's up, will be snagging Tucker & Dale vs Evil ASAP! Also, there are definitely Region 2 discs of Mandy Lane out there, so may grab that one too...

Posted by: Django at May 27, 2011 11:26 AM

I'd see all of those too. I'd even pay for them! With cheese.

Posted by: admin at May 27, 2011 11:28 AM

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is fucking sweet. Saw it online, like, 3 years back? Watch it.

Posted by: Amanda H. at May 27, 2011 11:28 AM

I think this is just a trick to get more people to come hang out with Dustin at film festivales.

Nice try, buddy.

Posted by: Ian at May 27, 2011 11:37 AM

Cheese of course being the highest form of Canadian currency. Unlike America where we are going to the McNugget as defacto currency.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at May 27, 2011 11:40 AM

I really enjoyed 'Mandy Lane.'

YEAH. I WATCHED A PIRATED COPY. Sue me. How else am I gonna see it?

Posted by: Will at May 27, 2011 11:52 AM

Yeah, no fair. I would pay fine, hard-earned American dollars to see ALL of these (possibly absent the Jessica Biel one) in the THEATER. Actually, I might even see the Jessica Biel one because she's got a spike in her head and that's kind of funny.

Damn you Hollywood system!! {shakes fist helplessly}

Posted by: MM at May 27, 2011 12:48 PM

"Might be a door. Might be a wall. Won't know till I touch it"

Brilliant

Posted by: Protoguy at May 27, 2011 12:51 PM

"Mandy Lane" does look bloody enough for the stupid masses, and well-done enough to interest the smart masses. So what's the goddam holdup?

Posted by: Slash at May 27, 2011 1:16 PM

I've seen (most of) NAILED. It's pretty unwatchable. Paul Reubens doesn't know what he's talking about or he's just being kind. Jake Gyllenhaal is pretty funny but Jessica Biel is terrible.

Posted by: JasperJ at May 27, 2011 1:21 PM

I think I've watched the trailer to '77 at least 20 times over the past two years. It's sad being so excited about a movie that may never get released.

Posted by: THRILLHO at May 27, 2011 1:25 PM

I spent most of Thor ogling Hemsworth, even though I don't normally like blondes. So I'll take Cabin In The Woods, so I can ogle some more.

Posted by: DominaNefret at May 27, 2011 1:48 PM

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane : I'd like to see that, and that's not just the cleavage talking.

Nailed : Does the spike actually protrude from her head the entire film? I'm guessing not; I just had a mental image of Biel and Gyllenhaal having to negotiate those sex scenes without his getting impaled or her lobotomizing herself.

Margaret : Sounds like The Sweet Hereafter.

Cabin In The Woods : Surely this will get out eventually. The studio knows that the Whedon-ites are always hungry.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil : Meh.

5-25-77 : I saw it four years ago this weekend at Star Wars Celebration. It wasn't great, as it dragged a bit and played a little tonally uneven for me, but I'm sure it improved in the subsequent cuts, and I do think that it deserves an audience.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 27, 2011 1:48 PM

TylerDFC >> The Shark Is Still Working is very good. The cut I saw dragged a bit, but I think they have made some trims since then. I wouldn't say there is too much new information for the most rabid Jaws aficionados, given all the other documentaries, books, and discussion that has taken place over the years. It is still worth watching, though.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 27, 2011 1:53 PM

and Solomon Kane.

Posted by: MRod at May 27, 2011 2:56 PM

Love Amber Heard, but found Mandy Lane to be sort of meh.

Posted by: stump at May 27, 2011 3:31 PM

77 looks amazing. I wanna cry.

Posted by: Sofia at May 27, 2011 4:02 PM

Knowing just how much quality stuff is held in limbo like this is truly depressing.

Posted by: Jerry at May 27, 2011 5:09 PM

Tucker and Dale is worth tracking down.

Posted by: Craigilicious at May 27, 2011 5:20 PM

Loved Mandy Lane. It's been released on DVD in Europe a few years back.

Also, Tucker & Dale has been released recently in theatres in Ireland, I believe. Not that this helps the lot of you...

Posted by: FabMax at May 27, 2011 5:41 PM

At least two of these (All the boys love Mandy Lane and Tucker & Dale vs. Evil) were released (ages ago) here in Germany. I guess we don't always get the shittiest release dates.

Posted by: Vanessa at May 27, 2011 5:44 PM

Mandy Lane is on DVD here in Aus as well. Maybe I'll actually get around to watching it sometime, but Amber Heard leaves me cold.

Posted by: Shane at May 27, 2011 6:24 PM

I don't want to pile it on, but I have Mandy Lane on dvd. It was released years ago in France... I don't understand how it could not have come out in the US.

Posted by: Candie at May 27, 2011 8:32 PM

I seriously can't believe that 77 hasn't been giving its much-due release. Seriously.

Posted by: grace b at May 28, 2011 12:12 AM

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is playing in cinemas here in Croatia :)

Posted by: Drazen Samardzic at May 28, 2011 3:07 AM

I don't want my dick in any bowl to which Hollywood might have access. I mean, have you SEEN Hollywood? I don't know where its mouth has been, and I don't wanna know. I don't want no dirty Ho slobberin' up my knob. I mean, sure, it doesn't see much multi-person recreational use these days, but I'd like to keep it clean, regardless.

So Hollywood can have a big bowlful of ALL THE DICKS, minus one.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: Rykker at May 28, 2011 4:23 AM

I just ordered Mandy Lane on region free Blu Ray from Amazon Marketplace for $15 with shipping. So there's an option for that one.

Posted by: TylerDFC at May 28, 2011 10:33 AM

So, "A Film With Me In It", the dark/deathly comedy starring "Black Books'" Dylan Moran could be on this list? It was the first disc I ordered when I got the region-free player...

Posted by: Django at May 28, 2011 10:37 AM

Yeah, watched 'Mandy Lane' a couple of years ago, can't understand why it's being held back. Even bad horror movies starring 'teens' like, oh go on Netflix, there's LOADS, that go straight to dvd.

Posted by: Shazza at May 28, 2011 12:48 PM

I have Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (I will not tell you how). It is damn funny. No, it's not perfect, but it is a great turn-off-your-brain-and-enjoy-it movie.

I've been wanting to see Mandy Lane & Cabin in the Woods since they were first mentioned here.

Come on, Hollyweird. Lets see some of these interesting and cool-sounding movies instead of 99.9% of what is out there right now.

Posted by: dammitjanet at May 28, 2011 6:33 PM

That's so cute that you mention John Francis Daley as the guy from "Freaks and Geeks." I'm sure most people would recognize him from "Bones."

Posted by: DeistBrawler at May 28, 2011 7:53 PM

Tucker and Dale is awesome. If you scrouge around I'm sure you can find a copy.

Posted by: Adam C. at May 29, 2011 1:45 PM

Who is the woman in the header? She is hot!

Posted by: grinningdog at May 30, 2011 9:03 AM

After years and years of reading, gotta finally post because this is a great list with a glaring omission and an unnecessary add;

"All the Boys Love Mandy Lane" is readily available, legally in foreign markets, the same as a number of recent high profile releases here; "Hippie Hippie Shake" with Cillian Murphy, Sienna Miller, Derek Jacobi etc falls into that list....the same as the famed "Romance and Ciggarettes" did for years.

The second is the exclusion of "Black Water Transit", the long percolating adaptation of the novel that is Tony Kaye's feature follow up to American History X.....really?

Posted by: EthanG; at June 3, 2011 8:51 PM