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Guides | July 29, 2008 | Comments (90)


Since Dustin doesn’t know a lick of nothin’ about Pennsylvania, he asked me to step in and write an introduction to this little Guide to PA films, as written by some of the Eloquents. And I was happy to do so for one simple reason, which was to say this: For shame! For shame on all of you. Not a single mother fucking one of you bothered to do a write-up of Trading Places, a motherfucking classic set-in-Philly flick. I’m seriously disappointed in all of you and, were it up to me, I’d declare you all losers and call a mulligan on this whole damn thing. But as it stands, I humbly request that each of you spend five minutes in the corner thinking about what you did not do.

As for the Guide itself, here’s the thing about Pennsylvania — while some states in our great nation can be satirically described with a single broad-brushed stereotype, PA isn’t one of them. If I tell you about a redneck in a cowboy hat, an Eskimo, or an obnoxious Red Sawx fan, you instantly know what state I’m talking about. But there is nothing approaching a single characteristic to describe PA or its denizens. On the one side of the state you’ve got Pittsburgh, a city with blue collar, steelworking roots which is slowing trying to work itself into a sophisticated city that folks might consider an actual destination and not just part of the Fly-Over. On the other side, of course, there’s Philly, a city that still doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that it used to be the center of the country but now lives in the shadows of DC and NYC. And in between … Pennsyltucky. It’s a splash of the South above the Mason-Dixon line, going on for as far as the eye can see but for a pinch of drunken impropriety plopped down in the middle of the state, courtesy of Penn State. It’s a state run by a loud-mouthed Eagles fans (no, there really isn’t another variety), and though he’s a liberal Democrat, you’re just as likely to see a conservative Republican running things, so diverse is the state’s political spectrum. It’s a great state. It’s a terrible state. And most importantly of all, it’s home to Pat’s Steaks (fuck you Geno’s).

Each of the flicks below are good (and some, great) movies with their own value beyond the Pennsylvania connection. But that connection is the tie that binds them all together into a group which, collectively, does a surprisingly accurate job of portraying these various aspects of the Keystone State. And yes, we know that some of the entries in this Guide aren’t films actually set in Pennsylvania. While that was what we originally asked for, some of you chose to expand things to include flicks filmed in PA, and who are we to exclude you just ‘cause you can’t follow the fucking rules? …And more importantly, those films speak to the character of Pennsylvania just as well as those set in the state, if not more so. After all, the fact that Pennsylvania can so easily substitute for so many other places — because of its bizarre amalgamation of cities, people and ideals — is perhaps the thing that best describes the state. — Seth Freilich

Slap Shot: Johnstown, PA: Once one of the most prosperous steel cities in the United States, Johnstown has since become the least desirable place to live. Often hailed as one of the best sports movies ever made, Slap Shot has given a distinct honor to a region in need of a prized recognition. The War Memorial still stands strong a few hundred miles away from the steel mills that have polluted the Conemaugh River for the long haul. Paul Newman (in a role originally slated for Al Pacino), along with an odd-ball cast, portrays the spirit of a city in an economic crisis. Not only has Slap Shot created one of the most entertaining trios in the Hanson brothers, but did so by utilizing Johnstown natives and actual players from the Johnstown Jets team. Through its absurdly comedic dialogue and real-life inspired hockey scenes, Slap Shot has given western PA natives a truly unique sports cinema experience. I relish the opportunity to watch this film with anyone I meet from outside of Pittsburgh. And from a city where the bragging rights are few and far between, it’s a wonderful feeling to have a movie to show off like Slap Shot. — Colin

Groundhog Day: Everyone has that moment where we think that we are trapped in our own life, a prisoner to our family, our job, and the routines that pacify us but ultimately keep us from ever actually doing anything. And then there is Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day, Phil Connors, who is trapped in one day of his life. For almost ten years. He’s got you beat on that one, huh? The story goes as such: Phil wakes up on Groundhog Day, he lives a little, he falls asleep, and wakes up to Groundhog Day. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Realizing that his actions have no longterm effect, he progresses from wish-fulfillment, to attempting suicide, to using his misfortune to save others and win over his producer, Rita (Andie MacDowell). It’s one of the few great comedies of the 90s, and it’s also a wonderful tribute to Pennsylvania. It shows the State for what it is rather than what others think it should be. It’s got heart, class, and charm, even in the middle of winter, when the sight of snow makes you wish global warming would hurry the eff up already. — Jeremy

Girl Interrupted: As the news circulates that the first photo rights of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s newly enlarged family have sold for $20 million dollars, one can’t help but wonder: what has Angelina Jolie ever done to deserve this kind of iconic status? The answer is her Academy Award winning turn in Girl, Interrupted. Based on the memoir by Susanna Kaysen and directed by James Mangold, Girl, Interrupted examines the darker side of women’s socialization in the 1960s. Winona Ryder stars as Kaysen, who has entered a psych ward after a nervous breakdown (on a coincidental note, Ryder herself would implode in the limelight less than two years after this film was released). She’s no slouch in this film, but she has to play the straight woman to a cast of heart-wrenching characters, led by Angelina Jolie at the top of her game. Each of Ryder’s companions in the ward highlights one facet of the many pressures facing women in 1960s America and the question facing Ryder/Kaysen is whether to surrender to that force or to try to rise above it. Girl, Interrupted is far from a perfect film, or book for that matter. But it takes an upfront approach with some pretty daunting topics and it has the most haunting use of the Skeeter Davis classic “The End of the World.” But most importantly, Jolie will rock your socks in a performance that could have easily become a caricature, and it’s nice to remember that in the midst of all this Brangelina hoopla. — Rollerson

*Bonus Entry*

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelpha: This country does not know what is funny anymore. These 50 great states have resorted to laughing at musicians who peaked in 1987 and former reality stars who can be shot out of a cannon, yet still don’t realize they’re the punchline. However, in a nation where political satire is a lost art and irony is only acceptable on t-shirts, comes a beacon of light from the Northeast, located in a city that is strangely not its state’s capital: Philadelphia. “Sunny” is what makes America great. It forces us to look at the issues of these United States, whether it be abortion, gun control, slavery, gay rights, poverty, drugs, terrorism, or brothers and sisters banging each other. It makes us stare in the face of these controversies, take a good hard look at them, and then, if you want, huff some glue and maybe do a little crack. This show is so good because it takes our problems and brings them to such an honest absurdity that we as citizens cannot help but see ourselves in those situations. I mean, who hasn’t wanted to own a bar, shoot a gun at a giant stump of wood, bang their friend’s hot mom, or smash someone’s face into a jelly? Simply put, “Sunny” is funny because “Sunny” is true. We want to be completely honest people who couldn’t care less about other people’s feelings, and have no consequences because of it. Isn’t that, ladies and gentlemen, the True American Dream?

Rock. Flag. And Eagle. — aidan

Mannequin: I have a theory that whenever movie producers get tired of the same old storylines for rom-coms, they pull one out of The Hat. The Hat is kept in a vault somewhere in Hollywood and contains scraps of paper with plotlines jotted down by writers when they’re drunk or high or just plain insane. Exhibit A: Mannequin. There’s just no other way I can see this movie getting greenlighted: a perpetually out-of-work “artist” falls in love with his greatest creation, a department store mannequin who happens to be a reincarnated Egyptian beauty. Oh, and she comes to life only when her creator (and no one else) is present. Make no mistake, this movie doesn’t even try to make sense, but it’s so much damn fun it’s hard to care. Kim Cattrall and Andrew McCarthy as the leads have more chemistry than any movie couple in the last 20 years, despite the fact that she spends most of her time as a block of wood. And the secondary characters are just amazing — Mannequin’s packed with all the 80s stock characters we know and love: the ice-bitch ex-girlfriend, the horny foreigner, the flaming homosexual (Hollywood Montrose may be my favorite movie character of all time), the bumbling security guard, James Spader, not to mention the 80s-tastic clothes. It’s proof that even the craziest movie ideas can work beautifully, if you just run with it. And it all takes place in Philadelphia! — s. pisaster

Rocky: Not enough can be said about the 1976 film, Rocky. One of the most well known films in America, it stands today as an icon. Besides being nominated for nine Academy Awards (and winning three: Best Director, Best Picture, and Film Editing), Rocky has been honored by the AFI, the WGA, and was selected to be preserved in the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress. Its enduring “rags to riches” story, likeable-though-flawed hero, and the gritty realism of the darker corners of 1970’s Philadelphia as captured by the camera all go toward pulling the viewer into Rocky’s world, and ensuring this flick’s place in any film-lover’s heart. Few other movies have had such an amazing impact on pop culture. The famous “Rocky Steps” scene of the training montage, which takes place in front of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, is easily one of the most recognized scenes in movie history. Philadelphia’s City Commerce Director Dick Doran even claimed that Rocky had done more for Philadelphia than “anyone since Ben Franklin.” The film went on to spawn five sequels (Rocky IV being undoubtedly the best) and to inspire countless filmmakers. Without question, this great film’s legacy will last forever. — Lammergeier13

Deer Hunter: I’ve only seen Deer Hunter once, so most of my impressions are simply that: impressions laced with the powerful emotions the film left with me. Sure, half the film takes place in the chaotic rice paddies of Vietnam, but these scenes are so beautifully balanced by shots of the Alleghenies and scenes set in the — dare I say it — almost peacefulness of steel town mining country. The silences that hover over the hunting scenes in the film remind me of the silences that surrounded the town where I went to college and the open stretches of unbroken space, punctuated by the harsh, beautiful hills. There’s a smokiness that hangs over the shots of the town, a smokiness in the bars, a smokiness that seems to come from the empty towers of factories that are no longer in use. I love the way this film depicts the Western Pennsylvania of the 1960’s, a Western Pennsylvania that is virtually unchanged today. — pseudoliterati

1776: I have always had a deep and abiding love for film version of this Pulitzer Prize winning musical. The film has a stellar cast, including William Daniels (the voice of KITT) as the obnoxious and disliked John Adams, Howard De Silva as the self-quoting Benjamin Franklin, and Ken Howard as the fanciful Thomas Jefferson. And as if that wasn’t enough, John Cullum (Holling from “Northern Exposure”) delivers a blistering indictment of slavery in a show-stopping number. The film follows the debate in the Continental Congress over the creation and approval of the Declaration of Independence, set primarily in the building now known as Independence Hall, with an uncracked Liberty Bell swinging from the belfry. As General Washington dispatches from a soon-to-be ruined New York, Adams, Franklin and Jefferson persuade, cajole and bully their brethren toward the cause of independence. And as other cities are discussed, the noisy New York, agitating Boston, and fey Richmond, it’s really Philadelphia, with its stifling summer heat and flies, that anchors the story in the infant United States; “foul, fetid, fumy, foggy, filthy Philadelphia” serves not only as a historically accurate backdrop to our story, but as an essential player in our country’s history. — Courtney

Philadelphia Story: This is Cary Grant at some of his wry, sophisticated, twinkling best. This is Jimmy Stewart earnestly bumbling along his earnest way without the Mr. Smith patriotism to distract him from what really counts. This is Hepburn the First doing glamorous, prickly coltishness in the way only she could. The basic story is this: Tracy Lord (Hepburn), a princess of the New England aristocracy, is getting ready to marry (his name is George, but we don’t really care, because he’s not worthy of her, anyway). Luckily, ex-husband C.K. Dexter-Haven is on hand with Spy magazine reporters Macaulay Connor (Stewart) and the delicious Elizabeth Imbrie to keep her from making a huge mistake with the help of a little blackmail concerning Papa Lord. Sexy, sophisticated hilarity ensues, but really it isn’t the what at all, but the how that matters here. You can’t claim to love any of the three main actors without seeing this movie, and I’m not sure you can safely call yourself a B&W film lover unless this is in your private collection. — cerain

Flashdance:

First when there’s nothing
But a slow glowing dream
That your fear seems to hide
Deep inside your mind.

All alone I have cried
Silent tears full of pride
In a world made of steel,
Made of stone.

Well, I hear the music,
Close my eyes, feel the rhythm,
Wrap around, take a hold
Of my heart.

What a feeling.
Bein’s believin’.
I can have it all, now I’m dancing for my life.
Take your passion
And make it happen.
Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life.

Now I hear the music,
Close my eyes, I am rhythm.
In a flash it takes hold
Of my heart.

What a feeling.
Bein’s believin’.
I can have it all, now I’m dancing for my life.
Take your passion
And make it happen.
Pictures come alive, now I’m dancing through my life.
What a feeling.

What a feeling. (I am music now)
Bein’s believin’ (I am rhythm now)
Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life.
What a feeling. (You can really have it all)
What a feeling. (Pictures come alive when I can)
I can have it all. (I can really have it all)
Have it all (Pictures come alive when I call)
(Call, call, call, call — what a feeling)
I can have it all. (Bein’s believin’)
Bein’s believin’. (Take your passion)
(Make it happen)
Make it happen. (What a feeling)
What a feeling. (Bein’s believin’) — Brian

Silence of the Lambs: To look at Silence of the Lambs is to look at what might be one of the scariest films in the last 20 years, if not ever. Relying on suspense and rich, frightening characters, Silence takes us into the mind of a serial killer, and we could not be more enthralled. The name Hannibal Lecter is synonymous with both fear and charisma. Sure, he’s a cannibal, but he isn’t the real villain of the film; we actually take quite a liking towards him. Also on the list of plusses is the story itself, a truly harrowing and quite realistic one, as a matter of fact. The criminal in question is one Buffalo Bill, a sociopath who picks up women, tortures them and uses their skin as fabric. Pretty chilling, huh? In the middle of all of this is Clarice Starling, a young but not too cocky investigator who takes on the case and eventually ends up catching the twisted killer. And finally, the film is also a superb adaptation of a scary novel, an almost rare occurrence. Best viewed when consuming liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti. — kamikaze feminist

*Bonus Entry*

The Slinky: Did you know that the Slinky debuted at Gimbel’s Department Store in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in 1945? Didja? How ‘bout this, honkies: The Slinky is made in Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania with the original equipment. It’s changed little in over 60 years, with the exception of a crimp added to the ends of the wire to ensure safe play and to stop lawsuits from parents of children who had lost fingers, poked out eyes, stabbed gerbils, and in the case of one Harrisburg incident, where a one-armed hobo used the sharp end of the popular toy to commit a heinous murder resulting in a six day Slinky stand-off with authorities. The hobo went down in a hail of gunfire after failing to impress SWAT members with the way it could “walk” down stairs. While the Slinky remains Pennsylvania’s official State Toy, little is said of Roman Q. Pennyfeather, Pennsylvania’s official State One Armed Hobo. — Skittimus Maximus

Gettysburg: The 1993 film Gettysburg is probably my favorite offering from Pennsylvania. Directed by Ronald F. Maxwell, and depicting the events of July 1 - 3, 1863, it’s a complex, interesting (as well as mostly historically accurate) film. There are some great performances, including Martin Sheen as Robert E. Lee — a man backed into a corner but too proud to run — Steven Lang as the blustering braggart Pickett, and an amazing turn from Jeff Daniels as Col. Joshua Chamberlain. There are many big-name actors involved, and even those who only have a line or two do an excellent job. Content-wise, the film walks a fine line by depicting neither side of the conflict as the “heroes,” but rather trying to humanize both. The battle scenes are impressive, particularly when you realize that nearly all of the extras were unpaid re-enactors. In all, a film that is edifying and entertaining. — Seige

Unbreakable: I’ve chosen Unbreakable by talent-vomiting director slash actor M. Night Shyamalan. Some critics found the film slow and plodding, but shit are they wrong! “Unbreakable” is a sprawling, abundant, deliberate film. A rainy, black and blue, inspirational, adaptable, and brooding, and cautious tale of sacrifice and self-reflection mixed with anger and passion — just like the film’s villain, Mr. Glass. Because Mr. Glass had it bad. He’s in a wheelchair, see, which means someone out there needs to be not in a wheelchair. And there is, like David Dunn, who has never gotten sick once. No, I’m super serious here. Not. Once. And now he’s a mother-fucking hero because of it, bitches, which makes Mr. Glass one happy villain indeed. Because you know why? He set up that train accident! Yup. Killing people all over the country and never — ever — getting caught. But you know what? Even though they have their differences, Dunn and Glass are both vulnerable and weak souls like everyone else because they can’t breathe water. I know. Because just like life and finding out who you are and making sacrifices, it’s a sad fucking deal not breathing water, and Shyamalan helps to remind us that. — Stacey A

Wonder Boys: Pajibans may not find this movie worthy of an “Underappreciated Gem,” but it gets my vote. Wonder Boys was adapted from the novel of the same name by Michael Chabon about a Pittsburgh professor/author Grady Tripp and his struggle with a seemingly never-ending novel that he just can’t finish. Tripp’s character (Michael Douglas) is known to be based on Chuck Kinder, a professor that instructed Chabon at the University of Pittsburgh. Although the camera is peripatetic in its filming, leaving Pittsburgh’s Carnegie Mellon, Chatham College and Shady Side Academy to view the other supportively dismal locations (Rochester, Rostraver Township and Beaver), it’s all Pennsylvania. The scenes are shadowed in cloud cover, ice storms, snow and rain, but the movie succeeds in not making PA seem uninviting; in fact, it does the opposite. The warmth of all those bodies vacillating in a blues bar while the snow falls outside or the sublime houses that every character seemed to inhabit. Wonder Boys pokes at your ribs, softly inviting you to Pennsylvania, reminding you to bring your favorite novel to accompany you along the way. It also doesn’t hurt that Bob Dylan and director Chris Hanson wrote the entire score with a few original songs from Dylan himself. — Dmo

Robocop: Robocop became a pop culture icon and the gold standard for the melding of man and machine genre of science fiction (sci-fi) films. Starring Peter Weller (Buckaroo fucking Banzai!) as the ill-fated Frank Murphy, it’s a heart-warming tale of man becomes cop, cop tracks criminals to hide out, criminals get the drop on him and proceed to turn into a bloody hunk of Swiss cheese, evil corporation takes the opportunity to turn cop into a cybernetic, one man/machine police force, cyborg rebels against programming and turns on creators and takes back his humanity and then goes on to film shitty sequels. Filmed in both Harrisburg and Pittsburgh, PA, the smoggy skylines and crumbling, old factories make an excellent backdrop for a dystopian Detroit. It’s ironic that “America’s most livable city” was used to depict a city that was overrun with crime and corruption. Just like Blade Runner before it, Robocop established many of the more commonly used subtexts for subsequent sci-fi films: Soulless corporations secretly controlling our daily lives, social satire hidden beneath state of the art special effects, a half man/half machine protagonist struggling to reclaim his humanity; hell, it even threw in a toxic waste mutant in PA native Paul McCrane’s character Emil’s uber-gory death scene. I could go on, but my geek-boner is making it difficult to type. There isn’t a film today about a half man/half machine hero that isn’t influenced by Paul Verhoeven’s work in this classic. Despite the now outdated stop motion effects used for the iconic villain ED-209, it’s still a joy to watch a film that managed to blend so many different thematic elements into a frosty milkshake of “fuck yeah.” — Manny

Kingpin: Nothing tickles internet-using Pennsylvanians’ pinker than the Amish. A living tribute to Pennsylvania’s hard-working and puritanical past, the Amish represent simpler times before the exploitation of harsh, unforgiving modernity. Of course, Kingpin excels at hilariously uniting this dichotomy by tracking the relationship of two unlikely comrades. Roy Munson, played to perfection by a balding, broken-down Woody Harrelson, is a one-handed ex-pro bowler brought to that condition with the help of a ball retriever and his pin-punishing rival Ernie McCracken (Bill Murray). In debt, and battered, Munson meets Ishmael Boorg (Randy Quaid). Boorg is an Amish farmer with an un-Godly gift for rolling. Munson sees in Boorg his own talent, but the sin-free life of the Mennonite hardly meshes with the rough-and-tumble way Munson makes a quick buck. The plot is rather rote and the execution is somewhat clumsy, but the Farrelly brothers manage to create a comedy that is distinctly Pennsylvanian. Most of the comedic moments center around Boorg’s first encounters with gambling, tattoos, sex and other sins of modern life. However, the fish-out-of-water style is counter-balanced when Munson appears just as out of place in Boorg’s home in Amish country. The resulting impromptu friendship earmarks the film with a Pennsylvanian flavor — the fast living of Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with the quiet serenity of the inner country quaintly called “Pennsyltucky.” — jbag

——

And the winner of our Films of Pennsylvania contest is Jbag, with his oddly semi-serious take on the Farrelly brothers classic, Kingpin, which paved the way for a far better bowling comedy, The Big Lebowski. As the winner, Jbag gets two tickets to American Eagle’s two-day New American Music Union Festival, featuring Bob Dylan, The Raconteurs, The Roots, and Gnarls Barkley, which is completely fucking sold out. Thanks again to American Eagle for providing the tickets and the impetus for today’s guide. Jbag, along with our second-place winner, Manny, will both also receive Pajiba T-shirts.
Thanks to everyone who submitted entries.


Comic-Con 2008 | Pajiba Love 07/29/08



Comments

As a Bostoner I won't pretend to know anything about PA, but this is a damn fine look at some excellent films. It's interesting to look at movies through the lens of a particular city, so thank you all for these unique reviews.

Now I'm going to have to bump Kingpin up on my Netflix queue.

Posted by: Edie at July 29, 2008 2:47 PM

Before this list, I always thought of Pennsylvania as that huge expanse between me and Ohio on family road trips. Thank you, eloquents, for showing this Virginian the complexity of that giant rectangle up north. It's kind of eerie how much I love some of the movies on this list.

Posted by: Empress of All the Russias at July 29, 2008 2:48 PM

Great movie choices. I was curious about how much of Ground Hogs Day was filmed in Pennsylvania; I know they shot a few scenes in Woodstock IL by my house. It's Woodstock's claim to fame. You gotta love small towns.

Posted by: whatshername at July 29, 2008 2:54 PM

I sincerely hope that when you say people know what state you're talking when you mention "a redneck in a cowboy hat", you do not mean the great state of Texas, because if that comment is coming from someone who hails from the land of scrapple, then I call shenanigans, sir. I call shenanigans all over that shit.

Posted by: courtney at July 29, 2008 2:55 PM

Well hell. If I would have known that I could have included movies that were filmed in PA, I would have written up Dogma, Kevin Smith's serious, not too serious take on religion, consumerism, and the Catholic Church. Besides, how are you going to hate on a movie that features the late George Carlin as Cardinal Glick working overtime to promote his new version of God, Buddy Christ?

Dogma was filmed both at the Jersey Shore and in Pittsburgh. I have seen the church that stands in for Cardinal Glick's parish.

Posted by: Melody at July 29, 2008 2:56 PM

Aw, Damnit! Well, that's what I get for basically paraphrasing almost everything I could find on the Wikipedia article. Well, all of the impressive factoids, anyway. All the rest was pure Lammergeier13. Now I'm just going to have to wait to buy my Pajiba T when I have real money.

Posted by: Lammergeier13 at July 29, 2008 2:56 PM

so, thanks for the praise, Seth...except that I'm a guy. not even going to guess where that assumption came from.

Posted by: jbag at July 29, 2008 2:59 PM

Mmmmm...Scrapple. Goes excellent with wilted lettuce.

Posted by: Mella at July 29, 2008 3:00 PM

Here's a dumb question - is the 20 Best Seasons Countdown done? I counted 17.

Posted by: Mar at July 29, 2008 3:02 PM

Fun choices and reads, everyone. And congrats to jbag and Manimal.

Posted by: Ranylt at July 29, 2008 3:03 PM

Oh, damn. I meant to nominate Scotland, PA for this and totally forgot. Oh well. This is a great list, though -- and I think cerain and pseudoliterati should be promoted from commenters to reviewers if they haven't been yet...

Posted by: Heqit at July 29, 2008 3:04 PM

Great job everyone! For a moment, I almost don't feel the requisite smattering of shame in my Pennsylpride!

Posted by: Stacey at July 29, 2008 3:04 PM

No mention of "Yinzers" or Primanti Brothers? Or the dreaded Steelers fan? (As a Cleveland fan, the Stillers fan is much more of a threat than the Iggles fan). I'd expect an Ohio list, but then I realized it begins and ends with Major League. Because Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball.

Posted by: Max at July 29, 2008 3:07 PM

Funny how Mannequin takes place in Philly, yet it was filmed in Cincy

Posted by: Jax at July 29, 2008 3:08 PM

congrats jbag and Manny, enjoy the show! I managed to get my hands on a student ticket and will at least be there friday night and saturday afternoon.

Maybe I'll bust out the Johnstown Chiefs jersey for the occasion...

Posted by: Colin at July 29, 2008 3:11 PM

Rock, flag, and freakin' eagle. Rock on.

Posted by: michelle at July 29, 2008 3:12 PM

The fuck?


Silence Of The Lambs was set in Baltimore.


Robocop was set in Detroit, for God's sake. You so bad off you gotta rob Detroit? Of its view as a hellish city of the future? Man, at least leave the baby its POISONOUS candy!


"more chemistry... despite the fact that Kim Cattrall spends most of her time as a block of wood."
.... and Andrew McCarthy doesn't? I love the guy, but he's the poster boy for Expressionless.


Slinky's a film?

And you gotta be pretty desperate when you call on Girl Interrupted to hold your head up high. I mean, the only good thing that movie had, was that it launched Jolie. And effectively gave us an opportunity to wave goodbye to Winona's career.

But, you get points for choosing "Unbreakable" and not, you know, M. Night in general. Still his greatest movie. He's in a bad place now, but let's hope he gets out.

And yeah, Philadelphia itself rocks. That's one fantastic city.

Oh, if you get to include Slinky as a film, then I get to include the Philadelphia Art Museum. A true gem.

By the way, you so lose points for not including Twelve Monkeys.

Posted by: karstark at July 29, 2008 3:20 PM

Pennsylvania is home to my douchebag brother who married into a Christmas-tree-farming family outside of State College -- so every once in awhile PA shows up on my Caller ID. Oh, and our parents took us on a driving vacation through Pennsylvania Dutch country way too long ago to remember. Think I recognized some of it in Witness. Other than that, PA really isn't on the radar...

Mainly I want to give a shout out to Stacey A for citing my personal favorite Shyamalan movie, Unbreakable. Although she pegged my sarcasm meter in the process, I'm in a forgiving mood; hell, it comes with the territory when you're talking Shyamalan.

Posted by: Grover at July 29, 2008 3:21 PM

Scrapple is, without question, the most flavorful food known to man or beast. With the possible exception of haggis, which is really just deconstructed scrapple. Mmm...grilled scrapple with maple syrup...

Posted by: phaeolus at July 29, 2008 3:21 PM

Now that I've stopped laughing and regained my composure, here's my nomination for karstark for the next edition of Eloquent Eloquents:


"more chemistry... despite the fact that Kim Cattrall spends most of her time as a block of wood."
.... and Andrew McCarthy doesn't?

Ha!

Posted by: Grover at July 29, 2008 3:28 PM

Slinky ain't a film yet - but I'm working on the screenplay. It's gonna be balls-out, in your face rockin' like a goddamed meteor engulfed in flames of sweet BBQ, mama! It's a gonad-crushing, soul-shredding, Joe Satriani riff of friggin' omigawdedness that'll melt your face like that Nazi guy in the Raiders flick, except instead of dying, you've just gotta ride that wave like you're wrasslin' a forty-foot tall grizzly with two heads baby! It's a shirtless McConaugheyheyathon of shattered sternums and crack drizzlin', goddam... uh...

Yeah, it's a slow day at work. Nice write-ups folks...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at July 29, 2008 3:31 PM

Great list. However, in Philadelphia Story, the Lords are an old Philadelphia family, and therefore not New England aristocracy. This is a lingering pet peeve of mine, as someone from Connecticut who lived in the delightful cesspool known as Northeastern Pennsylvania for five years and saw flags about peewee hockey championships claiming a Scranton team was in a New England league.

Posted by: Cara at July 29, 2008 3:32 PM

I didn't follow the rules, and I get bonus entried? Awesome. Thanks and congrats to the winners.

Posted by: aidan at July 29, 2008 3:36 PM

I should've made a Gob reference at some point... or "Whoopie Pies" as non-western PA folk call em. And by non-western PA folk, I mean WV, MD, and central PA folk. (Does anyone else know what a gob is?)

delicious.

Melody,
Do you know what church they use in Dogma for the Buddy Christ scenes? Or more specifically, where it is? My roommates and I were debating this the other night.

Max,
I enjoyed some Primanti's for lunch, consider it mentioned!

and for the record, suck it Philadelphia (and suck it Rendell), no one likes you.

Posted by: Colin at July 29, 2008 3:38 PM

Um. I'm pretty sure that you don't get to complain about a movie being left off the list. If it was so important to you then you should have posted a synopsis of the film.

Oh, and I love scrapple, but haven't had it in year--being a vegetarian does get in the way of such things. I do have a cookbook with a recipe for vegetarian scrapple that I have been meaning to make. Scrapple isn't just for Pennsylvanians, it's found in Maryland too. I always assumed it was one of those mid-Atlantic things.

Posted by: tamatha at July 29, 2008 3:42 PM

OK, the scene in Witness when Danny Glover and Rosie LaRose from Strange Brew get the guns out of the trunk and walk down the road to kill John Book in the early morning is a shot that reminds me of my upbringing in Western PA. Just a beautiful shot....

Primanti's is making my stomach grumble all the way out here in L.A., but I would love a ham salad sandwich and a glass of Cherokee Red...

Posted by: Rubble44 at July 29, 2008 3:48 PM

I agree with Lord Rickard, including movies "filmed in Pennsylvania" and then excluding 12 Monkeys, which is actually set in Philly and super-sweet, immediately calls into question this entire Guide.

It's currently under review.

Posted by: ajax19 at July 29, 2008 3:53 PM

If you wanted a 12 Monkeys review so badly you should have written one.

Posted by: twig at July 29, 2008 3:54 PM

Vegetarian scrapple? How is that possibleWhy is that necessary?

Posted by: Grover at July 29, 2008 3:54 PM

so, sitting in my backyard watching hideous wildlife scuttle by, it just occurred to me...i feel like most people picture groundhogs as adorable little creatures a la caddyshack. gallivanting about, getting the best of a quasi-retarded bill murray.

in reality, groundhogs are fat, ugly nuisances that have little to do with kenny loggins and less to do with winter weather predictions.

thus concludes your pennsylesson for today

Posted by: jbag at July 29, 2008 3:56 PM

So glad to see some recognition for 1776. I've loved that movie since I was a kid, and now that I know more about the times and the people, love it even more.

Unbreakable gets a lot of flack for being slow and about comics, but I'm more impressed with it every time I see it. I think it's a really good movie--just less showy than M. Night's other work. But it's thematically deeper, and the performances are excellent. I was indifferent to it in the theater, but it gets better with each viewing.

Posted by: KateNonymous at July 29, 2008 4:01 PM

[wipes away tear]

I love so many of these entries. Almost as much as I love my state. Oh Philly region, how I love thee for your ass backward liquor laws, your manlove for a fat green muppet and men covered in sparkles, your self pity over sports teams, and your inability to run a public transit system.

I will never get "Day Man" out of my head now. Ah ah ah!

Posted by: Julie at July 29, 2008 4:02 PM

Since I brought it up, I would be remiss if I did not link to the world's only (?) musical tribute to scrapple,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HazgL0SLQzg

Worth it for the line, "That fat boy'd be better off dead."

Posted by: courtney at July 29, 2008 4:03 PM

I am really going to have to switch to waterproof mascara if I'm going to keep reading anything written by Skitt.

Posted by: Kolby at July 29, 2008 4:03 PM

Actually, you all are right, I'll take that hit. I didn't even realize this was the end product of a contest, until just now I checked the rest of the site. Usually I just read movie reviews. I thought it was just, a, you know. An article. So it is my bad, although I gotta say: NOBODY remembered Twelve Monkeys?


Cause, man: I woulda written the heck outta that one! The future city and present city ARE a character. But, I missed my shot. You're right.


And, Ajax.... cool! I didn't even realize you meant me til I remembered! Go the AGOT books!

Posted by: karstark at July 29, 2008 4:04 PM

I just looked up Scrapple, and all I can say is, what the fuck?

Posted by: Kolby at July 29, 2008 4:05 PM

Ha! Kolby, I no longer eat scrapple (I made the mistake of asking my mother what it was made of), but growing up it was my favorite breakfast food. With lots and lots of ketchup.

I never really got into Twelve Monkeys...it's been years since I've seen it and I've considered giving it another shot, but then I remember Brad Pitt's wonky eye and I lose interest all over again.

And I've never seen Rocky. Bad Philadelphian!

Posted by: Julie at July 29, 2008 4:11 PM

Do you know what church they use in Dogma for the Buddy Christ scenes? Or more specifically, where it is? My roommates and I were debating this the other night.

I want to say it is somewhere in downtown Pittsburgh. I have a photo of the church that I think is it (I am not sure as I don't remember street names and I had been drinking). The Steel Tower in downtown was Mooby's corporate offices and the board room was at Carnegie Mellon University.

The list is very good, but I thought that the rules were movies about PA, not filmed in PA. That is why I did not submit Dogma, a personal favorite movie of mine.

Posted by: Melody at July 29, 2008 4:21 PM

MAX....I agree that there aren't a whole lot of good movies about Ohio. Lots of tv shows were set here, but they were mostly bad too. So....
How about songs from Ohio? I nominate "Big Butter Jesus" as the greatest song ever about Ohio ever.

Posted by: lateformyfuneral at July 29, 2008 4:29 PM

Big Butter Jesus

Ok, that may be my favorite song title in the history of the universe.

Posted by: Julie at July 29, 2008 4:30 PM

Colin

Found which church it is. Apparently, it looks nothing like what it did in Dogma.

Here is the link.
http://www.millionaireplayboy.com/entertainment/dogmalocations.php

Posted by: Melody at July 29, 2008 4:35 PM

JULIE-it is certainly mine. The sad part is that the damned thing is on one of the most heavily traveled interstate highways in the country, and makes us 'necks here in Ohio look even dumber than ever.

Posted by: lateformyfuneral at July 29, 2008 4:36 PM

I feel completely wretched because I meant to do a blurb and completely forgot, but this list is grossly incomplete without "Philadelphia", starring Tom Hanks and Denzel. It was one of the first movies to feature an AIDS patient as the main character, the first movie to accurately depict the manifestations of the disease and the effect of opportunistic infections, and one of the first mainstream movies to portray a gay male as someone more than a flamboyant sidekick or the butt of bigoted jokes.

But I think the heart of the film was really the transition of Denzel, from a man, ignorant of what HIV/AIDS really was and is, to a man that not only defends someone under attack from those prejudiced against him, but befriends someone different and sees past the surface and his own notions of the "gay plague".

I was too young to realize the effect that this movie was having when it was released, but as a friend to several folks afflicted with HIV, the power of the story and the underlying message continues to resonate now.

It's all too easy to forget that there are real faces associated with AIDS and not just numbers or statistics. "Philadelphia" is there to constantly remind.

Don't care if it's too late, just thought it needed to be added to the list.

Posted by: David at July 29, 2008 4:40 PM

"our second-place winner, Manny"

Oi. He's gonna be bloody intolerable now.

Congrats, all of ya.

Posted by: TK at July 29, 2008 4:41 PM

If I'm not mistaken RoboCop was set in Detroit and filmed in Dallas. That is our skyline and our city hall. Parts may have been filmed in PA but you've got to give Dallas its props.

Posted by: jered at July 29, 2008 4:47 PM

Oh my God, I made the motherfucking list. Yay! Though I have to say my favourite is Brian's, if only because he did his through song. Congrats Jbag!

Posted by: Jeremy at July 29, 2008 4:50 PM

Grover-
Which part of loving scrapple, and being a vegetarian (meaning I won't eat the real deal anymore) did you miss the first time around? That's why it's necessary.

I think you have to grow up with scrapple to truly appreciate it.

As for how it's possible, scrapple is not just meat parts, it has plenty of corn meal and flour, so as long as you can approximate the flavors and texture, you're good to go. It probably helps not to have eaten actual scrapple in a while, so you don't have a clear memory of what it's supposed to taste like.

Of course, I haven't tried the veg version yet, so it could be a complete failure.

Posted by: tamatha at July 29, 2008 4:55 PM

And I've never seen Rocky. Bad Philadelphian!

Jaheseus Christ, Julie!!

(fact that's fun only to me: the datestamp of "Rocky"'s beginning is one day after I was born)


Not a single mother fucking one of you bothered to do a write-up of Trading Places

Yes, but I'd think Ranylt's epic self parody would preemptively trump any new contribution, even if that one was outside of this contest's guidelines.

Posted by: Jay at July 29, 2008 4:56 PM

Jay, does Rocky IV count? I'm naming my firstborn Ivan Drago...male OR female.

Posted by: Julie at July 29, 2008 5:00 PM

Um isn't Witness set in Pennsylvania? I'm thinking Amish, I'm thinking Pennsylvania.

I know it could be Ohio but I thought it was Pennsylvania...

Posted by: amanda47 at July 29, 2008 5:08 PM

Um isn't Witness set in Pennsylvania?

Of course.

(Second unfun fact? My uncle moved up to Lancaster County for a while around that time and was working at Penney's where the wardrobe department came to buy their cop sport coats and whatever. He gave the guy an Indiana Jones glossy picture (which he pulled out of a book, so there's a sacrifice) to get signed for me but it seemed to have gotten lost, got taken to the production office where Harrison Ford signed a new still for him and then they found the original. My uncle's an utter nut but that was cool.)

does Rocky IV count?

It doesn't hurt, but you still need that pure original. If you don't already love that statue, you will then. Now, it helps to be a guy which comes with the heart that melts and eyes that water for such figures and events, but you've got civic pride to balance that out.

I know I wasn't the only guy in the early matinee on Christmas Eve watching "Rocky Balboa" with a tear in his eye and a lump in his throat.

Plus--original-look bespectacled Adrian is SOOOOO CUUUUTE!! I know it's supposed to represent her being in a repressed shell and all that, but it's just plain good to me.

Posted by: Jay at July 29, 2008 5:25 PM

Yeah, I looked up scrapple too... 'round these parts, we call that BLAAARGH... (followed by a wet, acidic belch).

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at July 29, 2008 5:26 PM

Christ on a cracker! I can't read any of the comments because I have no idea what scrapple is. Do you know how vexing this is to a pregnant lady? I might want some. I don't know what it is, but I may want to try and send my poor unassuming husband out to pick some up at 4 in the morning. I realize this may be tough as I am in Texas and it sounds like you can only get scrapple in PA. I thought Scrapple was a beverage or maybe that's Snapple. Holy hellfire people! Now I have to go lay down. I hope you are all happy with yourselves...

Posted by: legib at July 29, 2008 5:37 PM

LATEFORMYFUNERAL... As long as it's NOT "Hang on Sloopy". All I can think about when I hear that song are a gaggle of drunk/annoying OSU fratboys doing the "O-H-I-O" in an overpacked crappy High Street bar. I'd nominate "My City was Gone" but that gets instant disqualification because of it's association with Rush Limbaugh. I was always partial to the more specific POTUS version of "Cleveland Rocks".

Posted by: Max at July 29, 2008 5:37 PM

And I do realize that I could just look it up on the internet like everyone else seems to be doing, but it's hot here folks. And I am 8 months pregnant. Which ultimately means that I am a little "cranky" these days and in the throws of hormones. This is what we call at my house "uh-oh". So just tell me what the hell scrapple is and everyone will be okay.

Posted by: legib at July 29, 2008 5:40 PM

legib:
Scrapple is pork "leftover bits" (or sometimes beef -- I'm being euphemistic out of deference to your condition) ground up and mixed with cornmeal and flour, seasoned to taste(!), baked in a loaf and served by the slice. That's the Wikipedia take, anyhow, and it jibes with my own experience as a consumer (not yet as a producer).

tamatha:
I get the scrapple and I get the vegetarianism; what I don't get is the intersection of the two. Scrapple with no entrails is a jonny cake or a glorified hush puppy. Nothing wrong with it, per se, but plopping in some soy and calling it scrapple just seems...quixotic. If you can satisfactorily fake scrapple then I'll be curious to know how the vegetarian haggis turns out.

Posted by: Grover at July 29, 2008 5:58 PM

This list has about as much fact checking and accuracy as a Fox News report.

Posted by: Dave at July 29, 2008 6:44 PM

I get the scrapple and I get the vegetarianism; what I don't get is the intersection of the two.

I think she's saying that, son...if you grew up with scrapple, damn straight you'll have a jones for it forever! Scrapple becomes necessary in your life, and a way has to be found to have it, even if it's fake.

Of course it's also amusing that scrapple's the kinda stuff where if you eat it as a kid then find out later what it's actually made of you'll feel like swearing off meat entirely.

And then there's the pun that it's made of offal.

Posted by: Jay at July 29, 2008 7:01 PM

the google weeps.

Posted by: twig at July 29, 2008 7:02 PM

Oh and you can't spell "party" without "PA".

You can have that one for free too. You're welcome.

Posted by: Jay at July 29, 2008 7:02 PM

Congrats Jbag, when I read your review I thought to myself, "This person should win the tickets", great review, great movie!

Oh and I guess Scotland, PA didn't even warrant a mention. I see how it is Pajiba...I see.

Posted by: Melina at July 29, 2008 7:14 PM

Julie,
I was scrolling thru the comments trying to catch up since I left work at 4 today (and had no access to online, since I was filling in for someone) and your 4:11pm comment just "bought my eye," as a Pythoner once put it. Just wanted to warn you to trust your instincts on '12 Monkeys':

Having just recently re-watched it, believe me, you're better off not going out of your way to see '12 Monkeys' again; the Brad Pitt eye-thing is still distracting, and the rest isn't worth sitting through again- Bruce Willis in perpetually confused action hero mode, from the future and the past in some incredibly mind-stretching way, in all his bald 'Bruciness'; Madeline Stowe in full "I could give a fuck about this movie" mode (she's rarely been more lifeless, and this is basically an ACTION flick mind you), and a story that one keeps thinking would get interesting but only turns out as pathetic as a premature ejaculation the director thought would be the "true thing," according to his lame vision, or whatever drug-inspired thought was going through Gilliam's head at the time.

...Posted WAY too much on a topic that had nothing to do with - D'Oh!! Me leave now

Posted by: TMax at July 29, 2008 7:29 PM

was Witness set in Delaware? Oh no, that's right... it was PA.

Posted by: Ron at July 29, 2008 8:17 PM

David,

I'm quite certain, after reading your entry of 'Philadelphia' just now, that this review would have been included in the finals. It's a great effort.

But I applaud everyone who pursued this assignment and really gave it their best.

Seth, had to mention I laughed until I metaphorically coughed up my esophagus just reading your preface, it was SO HIlarious, as so many other reviews are on here, and I for one appreciate the tough-love wake-up call for lack of recognition re 'Trading Places'. I did my 5 minutes in the corner, did you, fellow Pajis? DID YOU??!!???

Jus' hangin' it wit my dawg, y'all, cut the brother some slack - that's what we DO for each other 'round here.

And it's hot as all fuck around these parts (and others, I'm sure), so all fellow Pajibanians, be cool when you can, and blow your angry, hot summer steam off right here on Pajiba, in the safety of your own home, and not on anyone you actually interact with during the day (not good job etiquette, no matter the circumstances), because,

(like Ranylt's review of 'Mama Mia!')

Some of the best writing comes from our angriest moments- they intensify, and really capture the true 'bitchy' and 'scathing' things. I believe for a fact that this critic gave her absolutely honest review of this film regardless of her preconceived apprehensions (and missing 'TDK'- I'm sure that's been rectified by now). She provides the best caustic comments we can ascribe to anyone, be it your best friend or closest relative - Ranylt just does it in the coolest way possible, and her words actually made me more comfortable, less belligerent and, like I expressed then, gave a good smackdown that I was lacking in Pajiba reviews as of late.

[Sorry, got a new, BEAUTIFUL keyboard since my other one had penicillin growing between the keys from years of neglect, and just wanted to type tonight without having to 'toothpick' through the food matter that gathered on the old keyboard- fini and geeerrrooosss.]

Hey, at least I'm only in the lower rung of the Looonnnggg posters who've been here lately (and yes, I read everything they write, too).

EPILOGUE: Let's make it thru Wednesday, fellow workers- it's downhill once we get over the hump, but I'm still checking in to see what great comments come up next - Skit alone is worth refreshing for.

Posted by: TMax at July 29, 2008 8:28 PM

Grover- It's like any fake meat product--it's about the approximation of some food you used to eat and like and would like to have again. So yeah, Jay was on the money.

And it totally helps to not have had the real thing in a long time. When I first had fake bacon shortly after I became a vegetarian, my reaction was "yuck, it's just a huge bacon bit." But now, after 18 years of no bacon, my reaction is "hmm, it's reminiscent of bacon and works fabulously on a BLT."

I understand that a veg version of scrapple might more accurately be called a johnny cake or whatever, but I'm calling it scrapple and I hope it's good. (I still have yet to try it.)

On a related note, you know what other breakfast meat I miss from my childhood/meat-eating days? Fried bologna. I have tried frying the soy bologna, and all I can say is, "DISAPPOINTED!"

Posted by: tamatha at July 29, 2008 9:43 PM

And I've never seen Rocky. Bad Philadelphian!

This will be rectified immediately.

You all have now mentioned scrapple enough to make my throw up a little in my mouth. Although I am in the mood for pork roll.

I wanted so badly to participate in this exercise but real life has been quite intrusive lately (hence the fact that I am commenting at 1 a.m.); however, I give a hearty bravo all around. Especially to David; that was a fantastic commentary on Philadelphia.

Posted by: Nicole at July 30, 2008 1:16 AM

Melody, thanks for that link, it definitely wasn't the church we were thinking of...

Posted by: Colin at July 30, 2008 7:11 AM

tamatha:
I guess I'm a victim of yet another of my psychological hang-ups -- in this case, some sort of notion of food "purity" (i.e., foods are best when they aren't trying to masquerade as something else, and they just "are").

A few years ago I was in Seattle on business (I should say Philadelphia just to make a stab at staying on topic...nah). A group of us went to a nice restaurant. There was a chef's special menu available that looked wonderful, but it had to ordered by the entire table (so the waiter said). One of our group was an Indian woman who didn't want to disappoint everyone else but was a vegetarian. What to do? The waiter took our request back to the kitchen, and soon thereafter the chef appeared at our table. He told us that he was a vegetarian himself (BIG surprise considering the flesh-heavy menu) and that he would make her an extra-special meal. Long story short, she easily wound up with the best dinner at the table (so good, in fact, that a couple of us went back to that restaurant later in the week and ordered the "extra-special" vegetarian meal for ourselves).

What made that meal so great was that it wasn't vegetables substituted for the meat in the "regular" dishes; each course was a celebration of those particular ingredients. That's pretty much always the case in any vegetarian dish that I find memorable.

Oh well. I'm sympathetic to your plight, I really am. All this tangential talk triggered by a simple reference to scrapple has me wondering if Pajiba shouldn't add a food criticism section...and my apologies in advance if it's already come and gone or been discussed and soundly rejected!

Posted by: Grover at July 30, 2008 8:44 AM

Grover-what an excellent job we have done of completely hijacking a comment thread! And it wasn't even intentional.

Don't get me wrong, I love vegetarian food that celebrates the ingredients for what they are and doesn't try to approximate a meat dish. And cuisines that lend themselves to awesome vegetarian food are greatly appreciated (My favorite? Mexican. With shout outs to Indian, Italian, Chinese, and Middle-Eastern/Moroccan/Greek, just to name a few--oh and to bring this somewhat back to the topic at hand, have those of you in the Philly area ever been to either Marrakesh or Singapore? Those are awesome restaurants in Philly!).

But I did not grow up a vegetarian and I didn't give up meat because I didn't like the way it tastes or because I found it disgusting. So sometimes you just want something you used to eat, like a chili dog or taco salad, and it is in those cases that I am happy to have the vegetarian approximation. And, it adds variety to the diet.

The two are not mutually exclusive. You can love "pure" vegetarian food and you can love your vegetarian scrapple (assuming it's any good--I really should try that recipe out soon and find out).

Posted by: tamatha at July 30, 2008 10:03 AM

I never liked scrapple, but it is way better than goetta which is the Cincinnati rip off version. Considering my general disdain for both its amazing how often I get into arguments with people about this. In the end it always turns out that the person arguing for goetta has never tried scrapple. Anybody who has actually had both always picks scrapple.

By the way, Pat's and Geno's both suck. Boccella's in Havertown wins.

Posted by: blocksmash at July 30, 2008 10:15 AM

Screw Pat's AND Geno's. The best cheesesteaks come from Jim's. I need my steaks served up by burly black men who will eat you if you don't step up, order correctly and quickly, and immediately move on.

Posted by: KatSings at July 30, 2008 12:00 PM

Ooh KatSings, Jim's are really good. I'm throwing in a vote for Tony Luke's as the best in town with my mother's running a very close second.

Posted by: Julie at July 30, 2008 12:05 PM

"in the case of one Harrisburg incident, where a one-armed hobo used the sharp end of the popular toy to commit a heinous murder resulting in a six day Slinky stand-off with authorities...."

Skitts, are you shitting me??? Some guy killed somebody with a farkin' Slinky????

Colin my former mother-in-law, who lives in New Kensington, makes gobs that I would sell my soul for. Also, the Polish (I think) Catholic church nearby would sell pierogies every Friday and it would be a mad stampede to get them before they sold out.....*sigh* My marriage sucked, but some of the PA food was great.....

That being said.....SCRAPPLE is pulled from the devil's anus. It has to the be the American version of haggis. Wrong in every conceivable way.....

And, second to whoever was gonna mention Scotland, PA.

Posted by: dammitjanet at July 30, 2008 1:01 PM

Wow, I made a post!

Thanks for the shout out, Hequit, though I probably don't comment enough to warrent my own review.

I'm going to print this post and hang it on my fridge with a gold star.

Posted by: pseudoliterati at July 30, 2008 1:14 PM

"Passion" is the line in Flshdance? I always thought it went:

Take your pants off/
And make it happen.

Guess I owe an apology or two.

-Gonz.

Posted by: Dr. Gonzo at July 30, 2008 3:08 PM

Hey, I'd checked back in the original thread and the "What A Feeling" lyrics were about 240 words.

Count your blessings, pal!!

I just want A cheesesteak now. Oddly enough the Publix grocery store has one of the realiably better grills in their delis (their Cuban sandwich is also good), so I'd choose them as there's certainly no hardcore locals, but I don't really care. You've stoked my greasy lusts, PAjibans, and there's no way to sate myself. So thanks a lot!! (I like green peppers and mushrooms, please, but NO ONIONS!!!)

Posted by: Jay at July 30, 2008 3:16 PM

Ah, but what's your cheese of choice Jay? I'm a provie girl myself, I'll never understand the allure of The Wiz. :)

Posted by: Julie at July 30, 2008 3:22 PM

Whoa Whoa WHOA......Cheez Whiz on a cheesesteak?

Pardon my auslander intrusion into local tradition, but am I gonna have to put your baby into protective custody?!? Are you fucking crazy??? Now I know how Chef felt when he started Navy cooking school.

Provolone, thank you.

Posted by: Jay at July 30, 2008 3:29 PM

Hee! It's actually one of the most popular choices for cheese. If you're at Pat's or Geno's you know to order a "wiz wit" or "provie without" etc etc. I for one think Cheez Wiz is the Goop of Satan and would never mar a delicious cheesesteak with such a monstrosity.

Posted by: Julie at July 30, 2008 3:35 PM

I am shocked that it wasn't until the last few posts that the cheesesteak debate reared its head. For my money it's Dalessandro's in Roxborough, with some love to Tony Luke's pork w/ provelone and rabe.

Also, despite our ass backwards liquor laws, tell me of another city that has an entire restaurant culture built on the premise of bringing your own wine, tequila, etc, without a corkage fee? Go Philly!

Posted by: Linsey at July 30, 2008 4:32 PM

Linsey! I lived in Manayunk up until last December, Dalessandro's was (and still is for my buddies still in the 'Yunk) our Eagles game sandwich of choice :)

Posted by: Julie at July 30, 2008 4:36 PM

Hmm. I thought I was going to discover that PA was somehow bluer than GA, but no, it's MUCH much stranger than that.

Wow.

And strangely communist too. Jeez, it was mindblowing enough hearing "and between the two cities....is Mississippi". Now this.

How the hell do you buy imported 4-packs of beer then? Yikes.

Posted by: Jay at July 30, 2008 4:45 PM

Jay, beer is sold in cases at beer distributors. Six packs are sold at certain restaurants and bars. Wine and liquor are sold separately at Wine and Spirits shops, so if you need wine AND beer you have to cart your ass to two different places. Many (or most) W&S stores are closed on Sunday, with a few exceptions. You can not buy booze or beer at grocery stores or 7-Elevens and the like, but I've heard glorious tales of a few rare exceptions to that rule. I may a little off on some of these, because PA is a commonwealth and therefore ceee-razy.

Posted by: Julie at July 30, 2008 4:52 PM

So you all are OBVIOUSLY sitting on the plot for "Smokey and the Bandit 4" and are doing nothing about it.

And that's a damn shame.

Posted by: Jay at July 30, 2008 4:59 PM

I just have to say that I work in NY state now and went to a pizza place for lunch the other day.

They have beer in the soda coolers. Right there next to the pink lemonade and the Nestea.

THAT, my friends, is the very definition of awesome.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled topic.

Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at July 31, 2008 2:18 PM

Anastasia, if by awesome you mean combining a pink lemonade with a nestea to make an Arnold Palmer, then you are correct!

beer in the soda cooler is less... cool.

Posted by: Colin at July 31, 2008 2:41 PM

"Phil...? Phil?? It's Ned, Ned Nyers! Needlehead Ned, Ned the Head!!"

I love this film.

Posted by: amanda at August 1, 2008 7:02 AM

Holy cow, I come back from a mosquito-riddled computer-less barbarian wasteland (erm, vacation) to find I've achieved my one goal in life. I'm going to have to go out and buy a fridge on which to stick this puppy.

Posted by: cerain at August 2, 2008 1:24 PM

God Bless your piece on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, if for no other reason than including the "Rock, Flag, and Eagle" line, which makes me cry tears of joy.

Posted by: Audiosuede at October 16, 2008 11:32 AM

No question Scotland, PA should be on the list. While Philadelphia Story is my #1 favorite movie, and I'm a big fan of Witness and 12 Monkeys, when I saw the category, Scotland was the 1st one to mind.

Posted by: Des at January 9, 2009 11:12 AM