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Compiling the Perfect High School Faculty from Cinema's Greatest Teachers

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Guides | Comments (77)



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Dana Marschz (Steve Coogan) Hamlet II — Drama: Who wouldn’t want a drama teacher with enough courage to put on a production of Rock Me, Sexy Jesus, where Jesus uses a time machine to save Gertrude and Ophelia?

Mr. Furlong (Jon Stewart) The Faculty — Science: It’s kind of the perfect science teacher, if you’re like me and you hate science. He’s a parasite, so you’re allowed to kill him, preferably with a pen to the eye.

Rosemary Cross (Olivia Williams) Rushmore — Remedial Reading: She’ll break your heart, and maybe mess around with your mentor, but she’s very pretty to look at, and she’s from Harvard.

Dan Dunne (Ryan Gosling) Half Nelson — History Teacher and Coach: Who wouldn’t want a history teacher who could not only teach you about dialectics, but after class, he’ll smoke a rock with you.

Mr. Kerber (Vincent Schiavelli) Better Off Dead — Math: Any teacher that can elicit the sort of enthusiasm that Mr. Kerber could in his geometry class has to be the kind of teacher you’d want. Be warned, however: He might try to ask out your girlfriend.

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John Keating (Robin Williams) Dead Poets Society — English and Literature: He’ll teach you about the classics (a little too much Whitman for my taste) and how to think outside the box. However, you might find yourself doing so much soul searching, thanks to his provoking classroom lessons, that you put a bullet in your head.

Sheba Hart (Cate Blanchett) Notes on a Scandal — Art Teacher: If you’re good looking enough, Sheba will sleep with you, and she’ll even endure a psychologically torturous relationship with an older teacher in order to cover up the affair. That’s commitment to sex with a minor.

Geoffrey Canada (himself) Waiting for Superman — Principal: Seriously, folks. This guy is amazing. Not only is he a central figure in both documentaries, The Lottery and Waiting for Superman, but he created the Harlem Children’s Zone, a social experiment that President Obama is currently trying to roll out in 20 inner cities across the nation. Basically, Canada believes that the best way not to leave a child behind is to start their education essentially from birth so that they’re never in a position to have to catch up in the first place. And it’s not just reading and math lessons; it’s attire, demeanor, violence prevention, social services, and a huge network of supportive adults who know what it takes to succeed surrounding these kids from the very beginning. It starts with workshops for parents with children 0-3, then goes to all-day pre-K classes, followed by charter schools. It’s worked, too. Canada has eliminated the achievement gap between his black students at Promise Academy and the average white students in New York City, and he does so by working on broader issues like economic inequality. Maybe it’s paternalistic, and maybe the idea of injecting white middle-class values into inner cities is not ideal, not if you don’t want to whitewash America. But still … it’s working. And it’s working better than anything else that educators have attempted to get through the federal education bureaucracy.

And yes: This was an elaborate rouse to get you to read Prisco’s Waiting for Superman review and go out and see the film. It’s a brilliant, thought-provoking documentary that does more to raise awareness about our current education policy than any hack politician could ever do. We don’t champion a lot of films around here, but Waiting for Superman is one that deserves it.

(H/T Kevin Longrie)










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Comments

I'm going to be singing Rock Me, Sexy Jesus all damn day now.

Posted by: squeeziee at October 25, 2010 3:36 PM

No Ben Stein?!

Posted by: Sara Tonin at October 25, 2010 3:37 PM

Considering that Ben Stein made a movie railing against the Theory of Evolution that whined about Creationism not being taught in classrooms, and compared evolutionary scientists and the media to Nazis... Yeah, I'm good with a lack of Ben Stein here.

No matter how memorable he was in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Posted by: RobP at October 25, 2010 3:46 PM

How about Mr. Hand?

Posted by: steve at October 25, 2010 3:46 PM

Dammit Steve beat me to it by two minutes!!!

Posted by: anon33 at October 25, 2010 3:47 PM

Ben Stein is a Nixon-era shill (used to write speeches for Nixon...first bad symptom of chicanery), with infinitely more economic acumen than all the rest of you unwashed minions of the system. Meanwhile, he uses this acumen against you to line his pockets while emptying yours.

Posted by: Recondite at October 25, 2010 3:51 PM

I love The Faculty. I love Jon Stewart getting stabbed in the eye. (I love Jon Stewart and would never want him stabbed in the eye, so don't get your panties in a wad. That scene is just awesome.)

Posted by: MM at October 25, 2010 3:55 PM

Is his name seriously "Canada??"

*bask*

Posted by: lordhelmet at October 25, 2010 3:59 PM

Where's Shoop (Mark Harmon)?!

And seriously where is Mr. Escalante (Edward James Olmos)?

Posted by: Schaeffer at October 25, 2010 4:03 PM

Mr. Hall & Ms. Geist?

Posted by: Snrub at October 25, 2010 4:09 PM

Shoop and Mr. Hand. Both excellent (and mandatory) calls.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at October 25, 2010 4:27 PM

I'm going to argue the Principal route and go with Avery Brooks in American History X. He was the principal right? Or was he a guidance counselor? Either way, he needs to be on this list.

And no tough teachers?
Samuel L. Jackson
187
or
Michelle Pfeiffer
Dangerous Minds

Posted by: DeistBrawler at October 25, 2010 4:31 PM

Richard Vernon - Breakfast Club. You just bought yourself another Saturday for not including him.

Also, I have lots of love for Tina Fey's Ms. Newbury in Mean Girls.

Posted by: Nicole at October 25, 2010 4:57 PM

Morgan Freeman in Lean on Me? LOVED the scene where he put all the assholes on stage and then told them they were all expelled. Wish we could that in real life.

Posted by: scorzi at October 25, 2010 5:00 PM

Nicole:

It's Ms. NORbury. I only correct you because the poor lady got coffee spilled on her, her house searched for drugs, got divorced, and had to deal with that pill head Lohan. Show respect!

Posted by: scorzi at October 25, 2010 5:03 PM

I have a new game: every time somebody at Pajiba gives a verbal blowjob to Waiting For Superman, I'm just going to link to this, which exposes it as the sloppy, one-sided and frequently wrong piece of journalism that it is.

Each time I do this, I will earn one point. I am hoping that Pajiba will make me lots of points!

Posted by: mightygodking at October 25, 2010 5:05 PM

And since the blowjob this time was for Geoffrey Canada specifically...

Geoffrey Canada is justly celebrated for the creation of the Harlem Children’s Zone, which not only runs two charter schools but surrounds children and their families with a broad array of social and medical services. Canada has a board of wealthy philanthropists and a very successful fund-raising apparatus. With assets of more than $200 million, his organization has no shortage of funds. Canada himself is currently paid $400,000 annually. For Guggenheim to praise Canada while also claiming that public schools don’t need any more money is bizarre. Canada’s charter schools get better results than nearby public schools serving impoverished students. If all inner-city schools had the same resources as his, they might get the same good results.

But contrary to the myth that Guggenheim propounds about “amazing results,” even Geoffrey Canada’s schools have many students who are not proficient. On the 2010 state tests, 60 percent of the fourth-grade students in one of his charter schools were not proficient in reading, nor were 50 percent in the other. It should be noted—and Guggenheim didn’t note it—that Canada kicked out his entire first class of middle school students when they didn’t get good enough test scores to satisfy his board of trustees.

Posted by: mightygodking at October 25, 2010 5:07 PM

Mightygodking:

I'm not trying to be one-sided, but I've taught in both public and private/charter schools in three states (NYC, Maine, Mass), and unless you're a teacher or a parent that lives in some of these shithole places with bad schools and experienced the lottery system, you can't say it's so one-sided.

Posted by: scorzi at October 25, 2010 5:08 PM

I'll quickly elaborate.

For MYSELF, I embrace the idea of charter or alternative schools beyond the basic public/private choices we've had in the past, because a lot of the stuff I experienced as a teacher or assistant wasn't so much test scores, but the lack of facilities, paper, pens, pencils, notebooks, etc. I hate when affluent people bitch about the list of stuff their kid has to bring to school for the year. Does anyone realize that most teachers (especially in the impoverished areas) pay out of their own pockets and salaries for classroom materials? In New York the average teacher spends between $500-$1,000 on stuff. Not including people who buy extras; like crackers or fruit for kids who obviously don't get fed enough at home or at the shelter where they live. There are schools that are so overcrowded that kids sit on the floors or on radiators and they are forced to share the same books.

I personally say fuck the tests. I could give a rat's ass about the test scores because I know they don't always show exactly what's going on. But if I'm a parent in Detroit or the Bronx and my public school is dirty, overcrowded or dangerous, and I have no money to send my kid to a Jewish day school or a Catholic prep school, why should I be forced to give my kid a shitty education? Why are people digging in their heels that other children might finally learn in a safe, clean environment?

Posted by: scorzi at October 25, 2010 5:16 PM

Scorzi, the problem with American schools is basically twofold. One is easy to fix and one isn't so much.

Problem one is school funding. Most American schools get their funding from property taxes. This is ridiculous, because poor neighborhoods collect less property taxes than rich ones do, so this method of funding will, guaranteed, create a system where rich neighborhoods mostly get great public schools and poor neighborhoods mostly get terrible public schools.

Problem two is lack of social safety net. Poor neighborhoods are always going to be at a disadvantage because poor parents don't have the luxuries of time and money that richer parents do, and the two biggest influences on schoolkids' development are, in order, parents and other schoolkids. If your parents don't give a shit about you (or can't because they work fourteen hours a day at some shithole to pay the rent), you're less likely to be a good student; if many of your fellow students are kids whose parents don't give a shit about them and are thus bad students, you're more likely to be a bad student.

Here's what bugs me: the film expressly compares American schools to Finlandian ones without ever mentioning that Finland has universal healthcare, universal childcare, and a social welfare and housing system that America does not in any way have and which many Americans desperately want to ensure that America never has, ever. A poor Finn kid is still a kid with health insurance, daycare, and guaranteed housing assistance. A poor American kid is a kid with next to none of that. And again, all of this matters more, much more, than what any teacher does or could ever do.

What Waiting For Superman encourages is the myth that shitty schools are mostly the fault of organization and the teachers, when in fact those are the last things that matter when compared to parents and other kids. Charter schools generally don't do better than public schools do. Remember this statistic: 17 percent of charter schools do better than public schools generally do; 37 percent of them do worse. When people dig in their heels against charter schooling, the answer of why is simple: it's because charter schooling as a movement cannot and will not ever address the problems of the system, so put the energy towards something that WILL help.

(Now, granted, the one thing charter schools can do is isolate that 17 percent and use them as learning examples for the system at large, to find innovations in teaching that can be used across-the-board, and to address special learning needs segments of the child population who aren't well-served in traditional schooling environments. And that's fine, as experimental schools - most Western nations have those exactly for that reason. But they're not a systemic answer, and a systemic answer is what's needed.)

Posted by: mightygodking at October 25, 2010 5:35 PM

Throwing my two cents in on the public vs. charter school debate.
I went to a public school, and received a quality education, so the system is not as broken as many people imply. Granted, I lived in an affluent neighborhood, which obviously had a large impact on the school system.
I understand the desire to send children to charter schools, but I think the problem is that it leaves the kids stuck at public schools royally screwed. Not everyone can go to a charter school; not only are there not enough spots available, but kids with learning disabilities will most likely be denied. Also children without involved or invested parents are left out of the charter schools, because the parents simply don’t care enough about their education. Because of this the children left at the floundering public schools are the ones who are already the most at risk.
Charter schools are a band-aid for our education system, but we need more.

Posted by: elisenavidad at October 25, 2010 5:40 PM

No Walter White for chemistry / urban business? Fail.

Posted by: ck at October 25, 2010 5:40 PM

The tough as nails faculty you don't want:

Richard Vernon, Breakfast Club

Mr Hand, Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Professor Banks, Soul Man

Trevor Garfield, 187

Jonathan Shale, The Substitute

Charles W. Kingsfield, The Paper Chase

Posted by: John W at October 25, 2010 5:45 PM

NO NO NO, Vincent Schiavelli must teach biology. Not math. And Mr. Hand has to teach history. Strangely enough, I had a history teacher even meaner and crazier. But he liked me.

Posted by: Sean at October 25, 2010 6:04 PM

Go see the film that fills me with blind rage knowing how the director pins everything wrong with education on the teachers? Yeah, not happening.

I was with you, too, until you mentioned Dead Poets Society. What an awful, obnoxious, destructive teacher. Anyone who advocates ruining books in a classroom must think leaving the lantern burning on the floor next to the cow in the barn is a smart idea.

Posted by: Robert at October 25, 2010 6:06 PM

Exceptionally well put in your second post mightygodking.

To be a bit more on topic, Mark Thackery, the teacher in To Sir With Love, the awesome Sidney Poitier flick.


Posted by: mc-rox at October 25, 2010 6:26 PM

Saw Waiting for Superman at local theater last weekend. Yes, the film compares American kids against kids from countries with decent social security net (and less economic inequality). But the test compared the highest-achieving kids from each country. As in, the best Finnish kids' test score against the best American school system could come up with (presumably not inner city school students)--and we _still_ came last. Also, the second highest scores were earned by South Korean kids, and South Korea has less of a social security net than US does. The best we can do comes up short; yes, we have a problem.

And yes, it is possible to get a decent education in public school system, depending on where you live. Relying on property taxes to fund schools is inherently unequal, because kids who need help the most get the least amount of funding.

However, good teachers _do_matter, and it is extremely difficult to fire bad ones. I live in a "good" school district, and have an 8th grader preparing to go into high school.

At his middle school, there are 2 science teachers, and he did not get the _good_ one he had wanted. She was Teacher of the Year, and students who went through her class went on to do well in science in high school. But he's got the _other_ teacher, who hands out As and Bs, but his students went on to do badly in science in high school. So we do extra work at home to make up for this.

And I've heard about this teacher who doesn't come to work anymore, because he sexually harasses girls (we are talking middle school here), i.e. "accidentally" brushing/touching boobs. So he's on PAID leave for rest of the year. Apparently this teacher does this sort of thing every year (so he ends up getting paid to NOT to come to work). And he has been in the district for 15 years, and he can't be fired.

Posted by: True_Blue at October 25, 2010 6:57 PM

Mmmm, Prof. Furlong/Stewart. Why did I like the beard thing on him then, yet find it so unfortunate when he reprised it earlier this year? (looks back at the header picture) Wait, was I complaining about something?

Posted by: Shibuyama at October 25, 2010 7:25 PM

Sigh...charter school teacher here. Fully one-fourth of my 160 kids have ESE/ESOL accommodations, each one different, each one met. We welcome *every* student.

Enrollment is down this year - we'd love more students. But one byproduct of the economy is a flood of folks leaving us (Florida) to go back north to move in with family. Numbers across the county are down, so it isn't just us.

As for the $$ issue, one problem we have regarding school- related taxes that may be unique to our state comes from part-time residents who want to save their tax dollars for "their" schools "back home," even if they spend at least half of their calendar in their FL homes. This may contribute to why Florida - I don't know how to put this, so please excuse the clumsy wording - has one of the lowest per-student allowances in the US. (Side note - charter schools receive only 60% of what the public schools do.)

I always feel like I need to jump in and remind folks that educational systems vary from place to place. And until we have our public school overhaul, charter schools, private institutions, and homes hooping will continue to be necessary options for families that cannot wait for a future fix.

Posted by: Kati at October 25, 2010 7:34 PM

That's "homeschooling," not "home hooping.". Darn autocorrect feature...

And to address the whole "parent not caring" as a barrier to attending charter schools - I wish I could share some of the phone calls I have to make regarding everything from tardiness to failing grades (when I can get ahold of anyone). The charter schools have as many obfuscating, blameshifting and nonparenting parents as the next school.

Posted by: Kati at October 25, 2010 7:41 PM

Richard Mulligan as Herbert Gower in Teachers. He escaped from an asylum and steps in as a history teacher. He dressed the parts of the historical figures he was talking about.

Sam Kinison as Professor Terguson in Back to School.

Laura Dern as Miss Riley in October Sky.

Posted by: richmac at October 25, 2010 7:43 PM

I like Home Hooping better.

I loved that Jon Stewart clip, I remember seeing that Daily Show when it first aired. I wonder if this "Lord Of The Rings" thing will catch on?

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 25, 2010 7:53 PM

I'm with Sean. Mr. Vargas and Mr, Hand FTW.

Posted by: maxwell edison at October 25, 2010 8:14 PM

Richard Vernon in The Breakfast Club was a great example of how NOT to be a school administrator. He's an insecure bitter asshole who doesn't act appropriately with students just for starters.

Matthew Broderick's history teacher in Election was as close to a fully realistic high school teacher depiction as I've ever seen on film.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at October 25, 2010 9:01 PM

@scorzi: My god, you are right. I shall take a part time job as a bartender at P.J. Calamity's as my punishment. I owe her that.

@Snuggiepants re: Richard Vernon - Yes, but he's amusing as hell, so it's six and one half dozen, really.

Posted by: Nicole at October 25, 2010 9:13 PM

Not a single mention of the teachers in Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher" video?

I thought I knew you people.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0XLKcMoXRE

Take THAT, GQ.

Posted by: , at October 25, 2010 9:18 PM

I always liked the feminist hippie teacher in Dazed and Confused, the one who reminds them as school lets out that the bicentennial is just commemorating a bunch of rich guys who didn't want to pay their taxes...

Posted by: GreenMyEyes at October 25, 2010 9:24 PM

Well Waiting for Superman resonated for me because I saw it as parallel to what's going on with the teacher's union we currently have in New York (where I am now--I was born in Boston...go Sox!) Waiting for Superman AND the doc The Lottery talk about a large opposition to charters come from the teacher's union. I can't speak for other cities/towns, but the New York teacher's union (as much as I'm the "hippie liberal") is extremely outdated, corrupt, and has kept hundreds of teachers on the payrolls that have sexual harrassed students, assaulted them, or were just plain bad teachers. The union bashes charter schools, but they don't want to make the changes that they CAN do in the failing public schools (again, talking about New York.) I went to both public and private schools, but I came from a predominantly white well-off suburban area. I think if a family wants their kid in a Bank Street School or public or charter or Catholic prep or Jewish day they should be allowed to do that, or at least explore the option. I'm not saying there are charters that aren't failing, but where does the UFT get off telling parents and kids that they have to keep their asses in public school? And I know it's a combination of society, parent and teacher; but if they have issues with the teacher (and I'm talking New York has kept teachers on the payroll that started student fight clubs IN MIDDLE SCHOOL), they need to be fired. And soon.

Posted by: scorzi at October 25, 2010 9:46 PM

Sam Kinison as the professor was the only reason (and Dangerfield nostalgia) I bought Back to School.

...and the Vonnegut cameo.

Posted by: Recondite at October 25, 2010 10:25 PM

I much prefer TV university: http://i.imgur.com/bDnfw.jpg

(Charlie as Prof. of Bird Law kills me.)

Posted by: deadnotsleeping at October 25, 2010 10:52 PM

Right there with you, Shibuyama.

Thanks for the link, mightygodking, it was an interesting read to say the least.

Posted by: Uda at October 25, 2010 11:38 PM

Well I'm a fan of what Geoff Canada is trying to do, not gonna lie. Even if it isn't perfect--it's a worthwhile endeavor. And I agree with mightgodking about the issues facing our education system. Attended a couple of lectures last fall in D.C. that tried to address those issues as well. Whew, makes my head hurt, I hope we can come up with something.

And I'd take a class from Ryan Gosling/Mr. Dunn any day. Like tomorrow.

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Posted by: CareerVideos at October 26, 2010 1:21 AM

@mightygodking

Thank you for this. I'm glad there are some people who don't fall for this bullshit.

Posted by: John G. at October 26, 2010 4:11 AM

Of course teachers are important. And of course good teachers are better than bad teachers. But where do you think charter school teachers come from? They come from the same pool of teachers that go into traditional public and private schools. And, as a teacher myself, I know that charter schools are seen as the bottom of the food chain. They don't treat their teachers well as a rule, and everyone I know who teaches in them wants out. Does this film address the fact that the turn-over rate for teachers in charter schools is extremely high? If you want better teachers, improve teacher preparation programs, provide better support for beginning teachers and experienced teachers alike, and develop a system that rewards good teaching. (Hint: firing the teachers labeled "bad teachers" without giving them any chance to improve is not the same as rewarding successful teachers.) Also, the "tenured teachers cannot be fired" comments drive me crazy. In every public school district, there is a process for evaluating every teacher, whether tenured or not. And if that process is followed properly, the "bad teachers" will receive bad evaluations and be fired. If the administration/school board is not following that process, then it's up to the teachers unions, local media, and above all PARENTS to make sure that it is followed.

Posted by: Engteacher03 at October 26, 2010 8:41 AM

Cartman. Hands down.

How do I reach these keeeeeeeeeeds

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at October 26, 2010 9:35 AM

Where's Coach Kilmer from Varsity Blues?

Posted by: toddler dad at October 26, 2010 11:22 AM

Engteacher03 Thanks for saying all that.
I work for a public school district and it seems like our hiring policy with regard to charter schools (and around here, they are 99% HORRIBLE) is:

1. steal the decent teachers from charter schools who didn't realize they could get a better teaching position but now see how they are treated there--develop them into good teachers in our public schools, because we have the resources to do so

2. give glowing reviews to the horrible teachers who leave us/we get rid of when they apply to charter schools, which is basically the only place they can now get a teaching job.

I'm not commenting on the right and wrong of the above, just reporting what I see.

I mean, my stepfather has worked for an awful charter school for five years. FIVE years. (Normally if you're a sucky teacher, you're gone in three years or fewer from the pubic school systems.) He's a low-functioning alcoholic with wet brain who teaches math. "Teaches," I should say. The kids run all over him, he doesn't know what to do about it/can't do anything about it/administration won't help him. He knows he can't get a job anywhere else, so he stays, for the whopping salary of $36,000 a year plus no benefits. He is truly awful, mostly because he starts drinking at 7 am. After five years, his principal HAS to know, I mean he smells like a liquor store. But apparently it's not enough to fire him.

Then I had a good friend who decided to finally put that English degree to use and become a teacher. He panicked, thinking he wasn't going to get an offer from one of our public districts (he probably would have, but they're known for dragging their feet at times) and he took a job with a charter. I was all "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" He spent one miserable hellish year in that charter school, then was hired by a great high school in a great school district. Teaching is hard no matter where you are, but compared to that charter school, he feels like he's in heaven every day. He'll stay there, and they'll give him the resources to become a really great teacher.

Charter schools, at least around here, are not the magic cure so many people want them to be, and for a lot of reasons, not just weak teachers who can't get hired on with public schools.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at October 26, 2010 11:28 AM

I haven't seen "Waiting for Superman" yet, but I've read in interviews where Guggenheim says that the most important step in improving education is excellent teachers. So, this debate about charter vs. public is kind of a moot point, if you don't consider training, recruitment, retention, and continuing education of quality teachers, right?

Posted by: toddler dad at October 26, 2010 1:42 PM

My two cents: Personal anecdotes mean nothing to an expansive argument like "America's Education System." They might matter locally, as in "Cheyenne, Wyoming's Education System"* but not nationally.

Good night, and good luck.


* No offense to the good people of Cheyenne. I've never been there, I just needed a name. Didn't feel like checking on the spelling of Puhnx-uh-tawny. Which, admittedly, is much funnier.

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