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Announcing the New Pajiba!

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Guides | Comments (149)



Pajiba_Intro.jpg

A few weeks ago, some of the fellas from the site and I had the amazing fortune to visit Austin, TX for the great South by Southwest Festival. In addition to watching a lot of epic independent films, we also had the opportunity to learn more about our colleagues in the movie blog business. Great people. We learned a lot. One of the things that we really picked up on is that — although we’ve been around for nearly six years and have enjoyed a steady but gradual rise in traffic — some newer movie blogs, despite only being around for one or two years, have seen a rapid growth in visitors almost overnight. That was a little bit disconcerting for us, as we’ve put a lot of work into this site in our time. At first, we didn’t understand why we haven’t achieved the same exponential growth. But the more we talked to other movie bloggers and explored other sites, the more we began to understand.

It’s about two things: 1) Synergy and 2) Enthusiasm. So in this new iteration of Pajiba, those are the two factors we want to embrace. A new generation of movie blog readers is coming into their own — some refer to them as Millennials — and they lack the suspicion, negativity, and cynicism that’s characterized this site and the older generation for too long. They understand that passion for film is reflected in excitement. We want to change our tone and personality to reflect the optimism today’s youth has for the latest blockbusters.

The other thing the younger generation appreciates is the way that movie blogs are increasingly working with studios instead of against them. It should be a symbiotic relationship. Studios make movies, and it’s our job to get the good word out. People love giveaways. And contests. And free stuff. We want to provide those things to you, and we want to work with the studios to ensure that it happens. Along the way, we hope that our readers will vicariously enjoy the newfound perks that come with this kind of access. We’ll be able to extend our coverage to set visits from the latest major motion pictures, junket interviews with the celebrities who star in them, and exclusive movie posters and trailers — all brought to you on the pages of Pajiba. Plus, since we’ll be dialed in to the system, you’ll receive the latest press releases about all your favorite upcoming movies. We’ll be able to bring you that news first. And we’ll be able to attend advance screenings and get you reviews of the latest movies days or even weeks before their release. You can arrange your weekend plans ahead of time.

I know what some of you are thinking, but it’s that very skepticism that has kept us from capturing a broader audience. Don’t think of this as selling out; think of it as embracing economic reality. Print publications and the like are shuttering left and right because they refuse to work with studios. But why shouldn’t we? Who knows a movie better than the very people who finance them? We want to combine their intelligence with our own to create a friendlier, more hospitable environment for our readership. And we want to give you all the chance to win awesome movie merchandise and get the real scoop from the stars.

I know some of you may feel a little unsettled by this new direction, and our new tagline. Some of the people who write for this site feel similarly; in fact, a few of them won’t be taking this new journey with us, but there have been some additions, too. We feel that, over time, you’ll appreciate the shift. Enthusiasm is infectious, and we think you’re all going to catch the new Pajiba fever.

Stick around. Give the new Pajiba a shot. By the end of today, we hope to sell you all on this new direction. Please tell your friends. This is the place to be! Step aboard, and come along for a ride into the future with us.









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Comments

Awesome!!

MORE = BETTER!

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at April 1, 2010 9:03 AM

Oooh will you be interviewing Robert Pattinson? squee!

Posted by: mswas at April 1, 2010 9:08 AM

I'm so excited
that I just can't hide it
I'm about to loose pajiba
and I think I like it

*shakes with pompoms*

Posted by: Magiel at April 1, 2010 9:12 AM

I smell an April Fools joke.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 1, 2010 9:13 AM

If I catch the fever, someone put me down.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at April 1, 2010 9:14 AM

I smell an P*R*i*L*A*Y O*O*L*F*A*Y o*k*e*Jay. Yeah, they're not letting me post that. Nazis.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 1, 2010 9:15 AM

"news celebs contests and much much more"? i understand that you guys want to expand your demography. i want this site to be more popular... but you have got to come up with a good tagline guys.. this one is way too generic...

Posted by: nayen at April 1, 2010 9:16 AM

Yup, the Pajiba Nazis aren't letting me post because it's you know what today.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 1, 2010 9:16 AM

It's about time! I for one welcome this brave new direction for the site. Can we expect a full preview of the upcoming Shrek 4 because I am dying to hear what shenanigans the big oaf gets up to this time. Hilarious!

Posted by: TylerDFC at April 1, 2010 9:19 AM

I'm pretty sure AICN had a similarly declarative rebranding statement, 'cept they didn't post theirs on the site.

Good luck on all of your undoubtedly forthcoming set visits! I'm sure The A-Team is real cinema. Just pure popcorn fun!

Posted by: the new transported man at April 1, 2010 9:19 AM

This may be the best idea ever. So long as i get my free Piranha-3D t-shirt and a rim-job from America Farerra.

Posted by: PissBoy at April 1, 2010 9:19 AM

It's about time all the bitchiness left this place.

Posted by: chad at April 1, 2010 9:21 AM

oh dear, "loose pajiba," that sounds like some sort of bowel disorder.

Posted by: coveredinbees at April 1, 2010 9:21 AM

but there have been some additions, too.

All your wooing of Harry Knowles has paid off, right? The neckbeard has landed?

Posted by: branded at April 1, 2010 9:22 AM

LOL, teh new Pajiba is, like, so totally awesome! Squee!

Posted by: April Foolsfucknuttery at April 1, 2010 9:23 AM

nah nayen....you weren't here for the last tagline search were you? It took forever. There were bodies everywhere, dangling participles, ellipses without pause, and exclamation points ad-nauseum.

...be thankful!!

Posted by: PissBoy at April 1, 2010 9:24 AM


Please stop fucking with me.

Yesterday's human centipede reveal was enough.

Posted by: Lance at April 1, 2010 9:26 AM

Now this is just deep-fried, gold-plated, chocolate-covered cool. COOL I TELL YOU

Posted by: the new transported man at April 1, 2010 9:29 AM

Now this is just deep-fried, gold-plated, chocolate-covered cool. COOL I TELL YOU

Posted by: the new transported man at April 1, 2010 9:29 AM

Awesome
Pajiba,
Really,
I
Love you.

Forsaking
Others,
Only for
Laughs.

BAM! Acrostic!

But seriously, I was waiting all week for your adorable little Fool's joke. Y'all are so much fun. I'll play along in a hot second.

Sister Act, Never Forget.

Posted by: Kayanne at April 1, 2010 9:29 AM

Now this is just deep-fried, gold-plated, chocolate-covered cool. COOL I TELL YOU

Posted by: the new transported man at April 1, 2010 9:29 AM

THIS IS THE BEST NEWS EVER AND IM SOOPER EXCITED AND I DONT THINK IM EVER GONNA TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK LOL OMG

Posted by: TSF at April 1, 2010 9:30 AM

Suspiciously, it is April 1st...

Posted by: NotesOnMyBathroomMirror at April 1, 2010 9:30 AM

ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG!!!

ive never been so excited! ive been reading ur site 4 so long, but never felt safe enough to say how much i really love good movies like twilight and nicholas sparks movies. so im glad that ur gonna start 2 b more positive.

ZOMG, TEAM EDWARD 4EVER!!! their love will never die! and neither will i!

(P.S. I love you, Pajiba. Don't ever change.)

Posted by: Jelinas at April 1, 2010 9:32 AM

Oh thank the Generically un-tentacled deity of much muchness.

You know I'd been ignoring this site, checking out places with a little more umph and was this close to deleting this bookmark. I'm glad y'all have seen the light. Also, would it be totally cool if you could give away set visits? I've been totes meaning to start Stan-ing some celebrities. I'm sure Chuck could use the Pajiba Fist Bump of Muchness, right?

Posted by: Kayanne at April 1, 2010 9:33 AM

I expect we'll see the old site back tomorrow, then?

Posted by: gunnertec at April 1, 2010 9:33 AM

April Fool's?

Posted by: k at April 1, 2010 9:33 AM

Well, I for one am OUTRAGED!!! You bunch of SELLOUTS! I'm never coming to this site again!

...wait, is branded insinuating that DR has grown a neckbeard? because I will totally stick around if that's the case. Also, win free DVDs? Hmmmm....

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 1, 2010 9:33 AM

Um, April Fool's anybody?

Posted by: Commander Strikeher at April 1, 2010 9:35 AM

Positivity baby! Synergy! Oh boy. I feel something bubbling up . . . slight burning sensation . . . corners of mouth involutarily pulling upward . . . eyes opening impossibly wide . . . baggy jeans and t-shirt from Marshall's morphing into jean shorts and Avatar promotional t-shirt . . . parfait is delicious . . . yes sir, yes ma'am, yes sir, yes ma'am . . . horrendous secret addiction acquired . . . favorite movie is Transformers . . . clichepunclichepunclichepun . . . take up tennis . . . artificially inflate ego by 374% . . . drink beer but secretly hate it . . .

Now I'm ready for the new Pajiba. (fuck you) WHO SAID THAT!?

Posted by: Kballs at April 1, 2010 9:36 AM

Synergy and positivity?

What's that burning sens---

Posted by: Kballs at April 1, 2010 9:37 AM

Pajiba fever sounds like something you'd catch in the jungle after a bite from some exotic creature.
Consider me bitten.
Speaking of bitten...true story...I just borrowed Twilight from a friend. I figure if I can't beat 'em, might as well join 'em.
Soon I'll be able to pick a side, Team Edward or Team Jacob! Squeeeeeeeee!

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at April 1, 2010 9:38 AM

And I for one welcome our new insect overlords.

STEVE HOLT!

Posted by: STEVE HOLT! at April 1, 2010 9:39 AM

Ummmm, April Fool's?

Posted by: Darcy M. at April 1, 2010 9:39 AM

You know, my mother's name is April.

Posted by: Gamal at April 1, 2010 9:39 AM

YEEEEEEEEES! We're going corporate! Everyone embrace Michael Bay's genius NOW!

Posted by: Julie at April 1, 2010 9:42 AM

branded...Harry has been here the whole time. He runs the site. He's just terrible at creating pseudonyms. Not because Knowles and Rowles sound a lot alike. He just has a shitty way of mining the names.

See, Harry was sitting on his porch, 1/2 way through eating a 1 gallon freezer bag full of tapioca pudding back in the summer of 2004. He dribbled a little bit on his tummy-bubble. As he looked down, he noticed that he was starting to get a little crusty around his skin folds. He figured he'd better bathe...soon.

So a few days later, he makes it up the living room stairs and finally reaches the chair in his shower. He leaned forward with a grunt to turn on the water. naturally all his flubber bunched up and got close to his face as his jawline disappeared into his face fat halo. He could smell his moobs. They smelled old. Like his mother's baseme...his bedroom. So he started lifting his folds individually. And boy...were they dusty in there...having not been washed in months. And then suddenly it hit him!

And Dustin Rowles was born. Pajiba was just this piece of shit he left floating in the idea bowl later that day.

Posted by: PissBoy at April 1, 2010 9:44 AM

1SquEeE1!1

Posted by: Katers at April 1, 2010 9:46 AM

On a sadder note...Whorish Mouth and I have broken up. You'll be able to find her body inside the burned out Torino right around the corner from the sign that says 'Rib Tips'.

Posted by: PissBoy at April 1, 2010 9:46 AM

I call shenanigans on your prizes and giveaways. I STILL don't have replica's toque in my sweaty palms. How can we trust you?

The rest of that sounds good, though. I'm on board. In fact, I hear Taylor Lautner is going to make a movie in Pittsburgh, maybe you can set me up with some one-on-one interview/lunch time and I'll get the REAL inside scoop for you on one of today's most popular tortured artists.

Well, he hasn't been tortured yet. Maybe you can set that up, too. I'll need a cattle prod, seven rolls of duct tape, some wire hangers and an advanced cut of "Human Centipede."

Hi-ho!

,

Pajiba West Virginia correspondent

Posted by: , at April 1, 2010 9:47 AM

Does this like mean that we can finally do the cool 'FIRST' post, cuz thats like so cool, and methinks that was like really missing here also.

Posted by: Magiel at April 1, 2010 9:47 AM

That's right! The Millenials! Catering to ME, bitches!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at April 1, 2010 9:48 AM

Finally! I can stop pretending I like all these namby-pamby fancy art films and fully embrace my favorite movies.

I'm starting a petition we can send to Eddie Murphy letting him know we want him to work with Stephanie Meyer and create the greatest film of all time:

Twilight Norbit

All the hilarious black-person-in-a-gender-bending-fat-suit combined with the emo-angsty tween drama that is Twilight! Can you smell that? It's not just the smell of ham steak grease and bad hair product, it's the smell of MONEY.

CHA-CHING!

Sign my petition!

Snath

Posted by: Snath at April 1, 2010 9:48 AM

What, no gossip?

Posted by: dugs at April 1, 2010 9:48 AM

Finally! I can stop pretending I like all these namby-pamby fancy art films and fully embrace my favorite movies.

I'm starting a petition we can send to Eddie Murphy letting him know we want him to work with Stephanie Meyer and create the greatest film of all time:

Twilight Norbit

All the hilarious black-person-in-a-gender-bending-fat-suit combined with the emo-angsty tween drama that is Twilight! Can you smell that? It's not just the smell of ham steak grease and bad hair product, it's the smell of MONEY.

CHA-CHING!

Sign my petition!

Snath

Posted by: Snath at April 1, 2010 9:48 AM

OMG when I first saw the new header, I totally nearly squeed my pants: Sam Worthington!!!!! You guys! He's such a good actor, and has been in so many great films, and he was in Avatar, which, lets face it - it's the highest grossing film of all time for a reason!. By definition, that therefore means that Sam is like the best living actor in the world at this time. Plus, he seems totally gracious and humble and intellignet. So, kudos to you for putting my future BF in the header where I can drool over him every day! Yay!

Also, I have a suggestion, could we please start an ongoing Pajiba Twilight thread? It could be called Pajilight, or maybe Twajiba, and we could have really intellectaul discussions about the Twilight movies and KStew/RPatz. That would be so awesome!!

Also, we should totally start an ongoing thread where we can post any celebrity sightings we have. That would be really cool, and I think really in line with your new direction. People always like to hear about celebrities, and knowing about celebrities can really enhance your experience of movie-watching. For example, the other day I was at Pinkberry and I saw Rumer Willis (the totally gorg/talented daughter of Bruce and Demi), and she looked so beautiful and she was so gracious when she gave me her autograph, and then when I went home and watched House Bunny, I totally enjoyed it and got so much more out of it and it really reasonated with me, cos I felt like I had a real connection to her, you know? Like, I've met her, man! She's up on the screen, and I've met her and like touched her hand and stuff! My best friend has met Mischa Barton, who is cooler than Rumer, and I used to get so jealous when we watched OC together, cos she had that connection and I didn't. But if all of us Pajibanites shared those experiences with each other, it would be like we've all met Mischa and Rumer (and Drew and Cameron and Jessica etc). Cos we're all one, man: we're all made of the same energy and mi casa is du casa.

Also, two years ago, I revealed my deep inner love for Sister Acts 1 & 2, and I refuse to be ashamed my friends, refuse!!!

Posted by: JJ McClay at April 1, 2010 9:49 AM

I want a candid Cameron Diaz/Tom Cruise interview RIGHT NOW!!

Posted by: Sean at April 1, 2010 9:51 AM

MY PNTAS ARE SO FULL OF SQUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEE THAT IM STUCK TO MY CHAIR AND HAD TO CALL MY BF TO PRY MY RAPIDLY MOISTENING LIPS APART. I LOVE U JUSTIN ROWLES!!!!!!1111!!!! U R AWESOME!!!!111111:);)1111!!!!!!11!!1

Posted by: admin at April 1, 2010 9:51 AM

Can we all wear bunny suits? And hop? I like to hop - especially when there's a new movie opening. It could be a Pajiba thing, we all show up at the theater in bunny suits and hop. Then when people ask why, we'll say we're representing Pajiba. We're bouncy and enthusiastic and excited and happy and we like carrots and Pajiba! It'll be so cute.

Posted by: Cindy at April 1, 2010 9:51 AM

You had me at "synergy."

Please tell me there'll be contests to win movie tickets. Hey, maybe a bunch of us could go together? We could wear matching t-shirts and everything!

Posted by: Wednesday at April 1, 2010 9:52 AM

So he started lifting his folds individually. And boy...were they dusty in there...having not been washed in months. And then suddenly it hit him! And Dustin Rowles was born.

And now I'm afraid to ask the origin story of "Seth Freilich".

Posted by: branded at April 1, 2010 9:52 AM

How can so many people not remember what day it is?

Posted by: cockroach at April 1, 2010 9:52 AM

FIRST!

Posted by: jamiepants at April 1, 2010 9:52 AM

Yay! A more positive Pajiba! This is really great news. Things were definitely getting too cranky around here. You know, the world is a dark and frightening place, and sometimes you just need to get away from it all. I'm so glad that Pajiba is going to be providing the positive escape I so deeply crave! Thanks, Dustin!

So, I'm guessing that we're losing Prisco & TK & maybe the Boozehound from the staff? That's kind of sad, but you know, change is inevitable, and if they can't try a new approach, well then, you gotta separate the wheat from the chaff (or is that the grain from the shaft? Or the grain or the wheat from something else entirely? How the hell should I know how this saying goes, I'm not a farmer!)

Anyway, I'm sorry we're going to be losing some of the more negative nellies, but I'm sure you're going to find some new, fabulous, upbeat writers to join the team!

GO NEW TEAM PAJIBA!!!

Posted by: tamatha at April 1, 2010 9:53 AM

YEEEEEEEEES! We're going corporate! Everyone embrace Michael Bay's genius NOW!

Posted by: Julie at April 1, 2010 9:42 AM

I'm gonna embrace Michael Bay's penis if I can get a set visit to Transformers 3! Hells yes!

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at April 1, 2010 9:53 AM

Nice try, guys! Really, superb effort. Almost beats last year's "we're going to moderate the bitchy comments" endeavor.

Posted by: DeadBessie at April 1, 2010 9:55 AM

Hey , (formerly known as bucdaddy): Know why replica's tuque ain't in your sweaty palms?

Because it's right here. In my office. BECAUSE I AM THE BIG WINNER.

(Not gloating or anything. Tee hee!)

Posted by: Sean at April 1, 2010 9:55 AM

FUCK YOU GUYS.

FUCK YOU ALL TO HELL.

Posted by: Vulnavia at April 1, 2010 9:56 AM

And now I'm afraid to ask the origin story of "Seth Freilich".

I've been sworn to secrecy branded, but before I signed my confidentiality agreement, I can say this, Harry Knowles's biffkin was involved. It apparently smelled like hot mayonnaise and tasted like a 9-volt battery dipped in vinegar, having heard the screams from my vantage point in the bushes. And it was a payment for a debt...something involving the blood of virgins and some cheetos.

Posted by: PissBoy at April 1, 2010 10:00 AM

I just thought of something, will you be interviewing MILEY CYRUS??? That would be so cool! OMG, I would totes be stoked to hear about her experience in her new movie with her BOYFRIEND! They are so cute together!!11!!!

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at April 1, 2010 10:03 AM

Dibs on the on-set reporting for all the new Julia Roberts and SJP movies. Their beauty is soooo underrated and unappreciated by, like, the old Pajiba, and the general public, and most people with eyes ...

*swoons*

*Embracing our new corporate overlords since 2010*

Posted by: , at April 1, 2010 10:03 AM

Okay, I admit, I'm a dumbass. Everyone's just playing along.

.Note to self, read previous messages carefully before posting.

Posted by: cockroach at April 1, 2010 10:09 AM

I call bullshit. Please, please, PLEASE say this is in the same vein as the bogus Whoopi Goldberg nun movie (being the best film of the decade). If not, words of warning: sucking up and selling out doesn't feel good. Trust me, I've done anal: y'all won't like it.

Posted by: courtney at April 1, 2010 10:10 AM

I'm not good at April Fools Day jokes, soooooo...

*gun shot*

Posted by: superasente at April 1, 2010 10:11 AM

April Fools Day

Posted by: superasente at April 1, 2010 10:12 AM

GEEP REQUIRES SCHWAG!!

Posted by: gp at April 1, 2010 10:12 AM

The overlords are reviewing my comment, huh.

Fascists.

Posted by: superasente at April 1, 2010 10:13 AM

ZOMG! CAN I BE PART OF TEH FOCUS GROUP?!?!?

I think you should devote moar space to television programming. "Two and a Half Men" is a comedy masterpiece for a REASON, people!

Posted by: Craig at April 1, 2010 10:13 AM

And maybe we could do episode recaps of a real good serial, like maybe The Vampire Diaries, it's so good! They act all natural, and the stories are fucking brilliant.

Or maybe we could do Two and a half men?
That show is soooooooooooooo funny!

Posted by: Magiel at April 1, 2010 10:13 AM

I JUST CREAMED MY PANTS!!?!?!?!?! LOLolol!!!1!!1!1!!!

Posted by: xte at April 1, 2010 10:14 AM

I just wish the new header was a bit sparklier. You can't expect to get it all right in one day!

Posted by: lizella at April 1, 2010 10:18 AM

...tasted like a 9-volt battery dipped in vinegar...

WHY did I read that as vagina? Not very Pajiba-like of me.

Posted by: Cindy at April 1, 2010 10:19 AM

No waaaayyyy....

Posted by: Name: at April 1, 2010 10:22 AM

It's funny. I woke up this morning not liking boobs, and wanting to write in a small leather-bound journal in a graveyard. About Vampires.

Vampires r da coolezt, right?!

If the new Pajiba'z got vampires, it'd be awsumz.

April fools! I still like boobs!

Posted by: logar at April 1, 2010 10:25 AM

Thank goodness it's April 1st.

Posted by: dsbs at April 1, 2010 10:25 AM

Extremely Sceptical.
Synergy, Enthusiasm, Infectious. Are these the ingredients of an intellectual tone down?
Will this Military Coup like change include honest movie reviews or will it be swayed by freebies and the need to keep everyone happy?
I suppose if you want to get rich from writing you have to cater for people who's lips move whilst reading to themselves.
I'll stick around, but if Pajiba looses its identity.........

Posted by: bob at April 1, 2010 10:26 AM

"He figured he'd better bathe...soon"

Are you from Austin, PissBoy? You sound as though you've got first-hand experience with the atrocious odor that is Harry Knowles.

Posted by: mr friendly at April 1, 2010 10:27 AM

You know what this means, right? NO MORE HUMAN CENTIPEDE!!! It's far too unpleasant for the New Pajiba. Waaahooo! That is totally worth celebrating! Now TK's sneak HC post yesterday makes that much more sense.

I'm glad that my complaints about that awful, horrifying thing were finally heard.

Thanks again, Dustin!

Posted by: tamatha at April 1, 2010 10:31 AM

Nope, no one's pulling one over on me today, silly fools of Apriltime.

Posted by: Ranylt at April 1, 2010 10:36 AM

Congrats on seeing the light and growing up, Pajiba guys!

I bet you'll be getting an exclusive sit-down with Michael Bay any day now! Can't wait!

Posted by: Jerce at April 1, 2010 10:40 AM

Posted by: Sean at April 1, 2010 9:55 AM
---
DASTARD!

... What? Oh ...

I'm sorry, I forgot that such strong and inappropriate language will no longer be tolerated here, old habits and that. I'll go sit in the corporate time-out chair for a week, NO ... I'm so ashamed of myself I think I'll make it two.

Pajiba: Glittering reviews, the NICEST people!

Posted by: , at April 1, 2010 10:41 AM

Yes! Michael Bay, Patron Saint of the new and improved Pajiba!!

Posted by: Dorothy Snarker at April 1, 2010 10:44 AM

I’ve given this a lot of thought (like, 5 whole minutes) and even though initially I felt somewhat betrayed, I’ve come to the conclusion that perhaps we should all try to be a little more inclusive and give up the bitchy people agenda. It was cute, it was fun at first… but really, aren’t we all a little too old to continue sitting in the back of the classroom making snide remarks at everything? I have a dream where figgy and optimus rhyme hold hands, a dream where Dustin isn’t always on the rag and TK learns to appreciate the nuances in Michael Bay’s work. Fuck it, if this is what it takes, so be it. Besides, it’s either this or I go back to playing solitaire during conference calls. If I can accept my best friend converting to fundamentalist-Christian-right-wing-homeschooling-NRA-joining-Fox-News-watching-Sarah-Palin-is-really-kind-of-a-cool-lady, I can accept you.

Welcome back to the bosom of my formerly scathing cynicism. This is now a place of vampire sparkles and hil-a-rious Two and a Half men reruns.

Posted by: courtney at April 1, 2010 10:44 AM

Mr. Friendly I actually met him a few years ago at a con in New Jersey. I honestly had no idea who he was, but i thought he was dressed in character as the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.

But yes...he smells. Best way to describe it would be "something akin to a general sour flavor mixed with warm broccoli."

Posted by: PissBoy at April 1, 2010 10:44 AM

synergy. so it's like, in order to move forward, we have to retreat.

get back to basics.

make sweet love to our inner children.

there's an app for that.

Posted by: stopthemadness at April 1, 2010 10:47 AM

Unsettled? Maybe. Unstable? Likely.

Posted by: Xtreme at April 1, 2010 10:47 AM

Ahh, April 1st. How I've missed you.

I remember when I thought CollegeHumor.com sold to Phillip Morris tobacco. Then I realized it was also April 1st.

Did I mention April 1st?

Posted by: Colin at April 1, 2010 10:50 AM

"something akin to a general sour flavor mixed with warm broccoli"

You, sir, have nailed it exactly! I used to wait tables in Austin at a restaurant frequented by Harry and his dad. Their combined olfactory assault would literally clear out the tables around them.

But I'm not trying to rag on 'em. Other than the smell they were very nice folks.

Posted by: mr friendly at April 1, 2010 10:52 AM

Corporate buzzwords? Pandering to the masses? DEAR GOD MODERATING COMMENTS!? Happy April fool's day!

...I hope.

Posted by: Mr. Tusks at April 1, 2010 10:54 AM

This has got to be an April Fools joke...

Posted by: retro at April 1, 2010 10:59 AM

I just discovered Pajiba a couple of months ago but I could not agree more!!!! This site should totally embrace generic blockbuster movies like Twilight, Transformers, and the like.

YAY PAJIBA FOR CHANGING!

Suggestion for new tagline:

Fluffy Reviews for Clueless People.

Posted by: Littlejon2001 at April 1, 2010 11:00 AM

Moderating out everything that exposes the sham? That's commitment, and I applaud you.

Posted by: Mr. Tusks at April 1, 2010 11:01 AM

I'm confused...no, really confused.

[Looks at calendar]. Wait, it's April 1. Good one, guys.

Posted by: bonnie at April 1, 2010 11:02 AM

also you guys should start moderating the comments

Posted by: christopher at April 1, 2010 11:05 AM

I don't know how big the bag of [deleted] is going to be, but this new vision is going to suck them all.

Posted by: rich diculous at April 1, 2010 11:07 AM

Looking forward to read Dustin's review of Transformers 3...

Posted by: rg at April 1, 2010 11:23 AM

Hey boys, apparently I'm single. Any Robert Pattinson look-a-likes out there? I'll bring the glitter...biting my lip just thinking about it.

Neo-Pajibans, unite!

I'm so into it that I refuse to point out the several misuses of the word "loose" for "lose" in these posts!


Posted by: Whorish Mouth at April 1, 2010 11:25 AM

All snarky bullshit aside, I have to admit this is depressing news. There's a reason I come here and not people.com. That was a whole giant steaming load of BS in that sales pitch. And I ain't buying.

Posted by: cydeleida at April 1, 2010 11:33 AM

Finally, I can stop suppressing my bubbly, optimistic self so that I was able to fit in around here. I really hope I can score some cool shwag and get some neat news about Twilight and stuff.

Posted by: Drake at April 1, 2010 11:34 AM

Hehe, good one!

Posted by: Bizarro Sofía at April 1, 2010 11:34 AM

I love April Fools.

Posted by: citizen_cris at April 1, 2010 11:34 AM

It appears that we can't swear anymore. My comment has been "moderated." I, for one, cry foul sir. FOUL!

Posted by: cydeleida at April 1, 2010 11:36 AM

[deleted]

Posted by: deadpancakes at April 1, 2010 11:39 AM

I certainly hope this means we've seen the last of horrid horrid commenters like that BarbadoSlim person who NEVER had anything nice to say about anyone, and that Skitz character and all his capital letters. I don't know who found them amusing in the least. I thought they were sick sick sick!

I also think it's about time some of you embrace more positive handles as well.

Like you, DeistBrawler. Don't you know fighting never solved anything? I recommend DeistConsensus-Builder.

And you, Anna von Beavershark. The horrid image of carnage that conveys! I'd suggest Anna von Beaverguppy.

Last but not least, (ugh) PissBoy. That's soooo offensive, in two ways! First, in polite company, we say we have to "tinkle," lol! Second, you are apparently unaware that "boy" is extremely offensive to male-gendered people of color. TinkleYoungMan is much more appropriate in today's enlightened society, don't you think?

I, myself, am opting to embrace the kinder, gentler Pajiba, presenting a more positive face. So, say goodbye to , and hello! to ...

Posted by: ! at April 1, 2010 11:40 AM

After last year's fiasco, I refuse to participate.

...Unless I can WIN that super awesome copy of The Blind Side! Come on! I love black people!

Posted by: ChristianH at April 1, 2010 11:41 AM

I'm looking forward to sponsored posts, with prizes and swag.
Hangover Theater presented by Totino's Pizza Rolls and Diet Mountain Dew. Win a 50 pack of pizza rolls!
Trade News sponsored by the Viper Lounge and Totino's pizza rolls. Win an eight ball!
Twilight Reviews sponsored by Claire's, Emile's house of Sparkles and of course Totino's.
Oh the hell with it, just call it Paiba and Pizza Rolls!

IT's a NeW DaWN!!! (OMG, did you see what I did there? LOL!)

Posted by: Mrcreosote at April 1, 2010 11:54 AM

HAHAHAHHA! Good one, Pajiba! You totez got me! April fools day to you too, mother(deleted)s!!! Damn, that was awesome. I love this site so (deleted) much.

Posted by: rich diculous at April 1, 2010 11:55 AM

Woot. I say that in all seriousness. Just, woot. Yeah, you heard me.

Posted by: Dudleys Mom at April 1, 2010 11:55 AM

Chaste Mouth it is.

Posted by: Whor-I mean Chaste Mouth at April 1, 2010 11:55 AM

April Fool's?

Posted by: andrewsf at April 1, 2010 11:56 AM

I am pretty sure synergy is just a word made up for Dilbert comic strips.

Posted by: cfar1 at April 1, 2010 11:58 AM

Is Cannonball Read not a part of new Pajiba????

*SAD FACE*

Posted by: dene at April 1, 2010 11:59 AM

you know what... I don't believe this, I refuse to believe that all the bitchiness will be gone. Besides, today is April Fool's Day, so this may as well be (I sure hope so) just an elaborate prank. I refuse to believe that there will be no more bitchiness here on Pajiba.

Posted by: catherine at April 1, 2010 12:03 PM

You know, just the other day I was saying that this site needed more sparkly RPattz bay-nis. I'm so glad you all read my mind. Now, I command you to do an in depth interview with Sandy (those of us in "the know" call her Sandy) Bullock and ask her deeply personal questions about her failed marriage and what she thinks of that neo-Nazi SKANK HOO-ER.

I am a Millenial, and I approve this website.

Posted by: stardust at April 1, 2010 12:04 PM

O.M.JEEZY!!! ARE YoU 4 ReaLZEES?!?!?!?!

ToDey is the SHIZZNIT!!! I caN B3 HoNEsT!!! I finally getz tah say wHaTz WHAT:

I F@#KIN HATE da PANDAS! DUMB DOUGHY NO-FUCKSICLES Wit dem blackhole eyes. EEWWW! Dey ain'T geTTin near mY NONO-HOLE!

TyLeR PeRRy iz DA TROOFS!

Posted by: j-EmIZdaBizNIZZ at April 1, 2010 12:05 PM

Duely noted...and changed !. What about my constant spewing of bile and vitriol? That may be a little harder to stop.

Posted by: TinkleYoungMan at April 1, 2010 12:13 PM

I can only assume that this has less to do with "phool"ing people, which has got to get harder each year, especially with this intelligent group, and more to do with, once again, poking fun at the things we don't have on this site and won't have in the foreseeable future.

As well, I can only assume that this comment will not see the light of day in the Pajibaverse, not today at least.

Posted by: birj at April 1, 2010 12:15 PM

Awesome site. I love (and can see) the ads!

Posted by: laredo at April 1, 2010 12:16 PM

Ha, ha! Very funny. I am not so easily fooled. Call me when we are back to being bitchy. I give it an hour.

Posted by: Michin70 at April 1, 2010 12:18 PM

This is a truly great day. I will mark this day as the day that I updated my favorites list with the brand new and improved pajiba. I almost wonder if people will look back on this day and reflect on how life-changing it really was for them. Congrats. Truly a monumental effort.

Posted by: overcompensation at April 1, 2010 12:19 PM

Listen, Mr. Punctuation Guy. Did you NOT see my comment about being OUTRAGED by the SELLOUTNESS of this website?! I WILL COMBINE WHATEVER HORRIFYING CREATURES I WANT FOR MY HANDLE! WHAT KIND OF CREATURE IS OUTRAGED?! MEGA-SHARKTOPUS?

Posted by: Anna von MEGA-SHARKTOPUS at April 1, 2010 12:21 PM

Wow! This day just keeps getting better! AS a long-time lurker, it is so validating to see my FIRST comment posted with minimal delay. Thanks again guys. You really work so hard at what some would call a ...wild goose chase. I believe in your dream!

Posted by: overcompensation at April 1, 2010 12:28 PM

Suggestion for new tagline:
Fluffy Reviews for Clueless People.
Posted by: Littlejon2001 at April 1, 2010 11:00 AM

How about Clueless Reviews for Fluffing People instead?

Posted by: Xtreme at April 1, 2010 12:29 PM

So when do we get the ability to upload images/ avatars to identify posters. Because I have a perfectly cropped image of some fake breasts in a bikini that really expresses who I am as a person.

Posted by: Yossarian at April 1, 2010 12:33 PM

Turn the other cheek, darling..
The other cheek

Posted by: Dutch Jezus (UsedToBeMagiel) at April 1, 2010 12:33 PM

I've been enjoying the new look but what the hell is going on with the "for some reason you comment needs to be approved"? At first I thought it was part of the newPajiba, but someone else would have commented on it by now.

Posted by: EricD at April 1, 2010 12:44 PM

Ha ha ha April Fool's!!

Posted by: bananapanda at April 1, 2010 12:52 PM

Very proactive!

Posted by: lawnjart at April 1, 2010 1:02 PM

EIGHTYFIFTH bitches

Posted by: Elwade at April 1, 2010 1:05 PM

Oh, thank GOD! Can we get some reviews of DECENT movies now? I mean real American values films valued by REAL Americans and not those nasty liberal Hollywood types with their homosexual agendas and women and people of color portrayed as being just as good as regular people. I am SO relieved that you folks have seen the light and are going to focus on POSITIVE things now.

Also, I can't wait for the first T-shirt give away. I promise to make my avatar/icon a pic of me in it - wet! Because I'm totes that classy.

Posted by: Reba at April 1, 2010 1:17 PM

April Fools!

Posted by: southernfriedfatty at April 1, 2010 1:19 PM

Is Cannonball Read not a part of new Pajiba????
*SAD FACE*

Reading is for LIBERAL [deleted].

If you MUST read, then only read books that Larry King says he likes. Like Dan Brown!

Now shut up and eat your New! Pajiba. You eat every little bit, now.

Posted by: Jerce at April 1, 2010 1:45 PM

I am intrigued and excited about this new direction. Finally an open forum to share my love of the modern masters like Bay and Ratner, instead of constantly pining for the lost old days of boring and unenjoyable directors like Kubrick or Lean.

-Frob

Posted by: frobme at April 1, 2010 1:50 PM

Bye bye,

Enjoy hanging out in the kiddie pool.

Posted by: halesonearth at April 1, 2010 2:06 PM

Ohhhhhhhhh........

Posted by: halesonearth at April 1, 2010 2:09 PM

This better be an April Fool's joke.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 1, 2010 2:09 PM

I just called my wife to tell her that our kids day care was closed permanently due to licensing violations and was checking out your new site while waiting on hold for her.....

I just love it and am hoping to win some of that great studio SWAG.

Posted by: saddad at April 1, 2010 2:21 PM

"News, Reviews, Celebs, Contests and more."
Fine. But can I keep the Booze?
Bitching maybe I can live without.
Scathing, I can keep under wraps.
But the booze! Dear Sparkle-topus!
DON'T TAKE MY BOOZE!!!

Posted by: Odnon at April 1, 2010 2:26 PM

It's about time we got some sparkle love up in this bitch!

Posted by: Lawdog at April 1, 2010 2:34 PM

Can I be in focus groups. Pleeeeeese? Call me!

SXSW rocks. Those people are soooo smart. (And the folks at Burning Man, too, but there's never a bathroom and you have to bring your own booze - lame.) But they're smart. Like about technology. They make web sites and stuff. Really.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at April 1, 2010 2:43 PM

Can I be in focus groups. Pleeeeeese? Call me!

SXSW rocks. Those people are soooo smart. (And the folks at Burning Man, too, but there's never a bathroom and you have to bring your own booze - lame.) But they're smart. Like about technology. They make web sites and stuff. Really.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at April 1, 2010 2:44 PM

convince the world aliens have arrived? aceptable april fools.
make me believe pajiba has sold out? not so much, what if I had an heart disease? did you thought of that? you cruel cruel cruel people. I love you so.

Posted by: rio at April 1, 2010 2:58 PM

Rowles I’m not saying that being a sell out is not in your DNA, but this new business plan of yours is so absurd that either you’ve sold out completely or this is an April fools day joke.

Posted by: The Hoth System at April 1, 2010 3:39 PM

I can most honestly say that I've rarely had this much fun reading Pajiba like today, so I'm obviously 100% on bord with the new direction!! It's just gonna be pure joy reading about great stuff, beautiful people, and get prizes while doing it!
And how refreshing that the pretend bitterness, bitchyness and just plain negativity can end now.
I just feel lighter already!! And no more reading required!!! Just take out your glitter, people! \o/

Posted by: Mariazinha at April 1, 2010 3:50 PM

i am such an idiot...

Posted by: nayen at April 1, 2010 9:30 PM

April

Posted by: sde at April 1, 2010 11:05 PM

....Fools? Nice

Posted by: sde at April 1, 2010 11:06 PM

Oh man, synergistic is one of my favorite words! I can't wait for you guys to start using it a lot more, now that you're going to be approaching the Hollywood machine more synergistically. Ha! See what I did there? Maybe you guys should hire me to replace one of the stick-in-the-mud old guys who don't know how to embrace a bright new future when it comes hurtling at them.
Twilight forever!

Posted by: BiblioGeek at April 2, 2010 3:14 AM

Last!!!

Posted by: El L Cool J at April 2, 2010 1:52 PM