Pajiba

"There's nary a man, woman, or child alive that doesn't like Denzell Washington. And if you don't like Denzel, it's not because you're white (or, nonurban), it's because you're not very bright."

Fuck yeah. I would pay to watch Denzel read the phone book.

Any reason this list jumped from #7 to #5 with no mention of #6? Just wondering...

It's funny. So many movies try to pander to the 'urban' demographic. In some circles I can claim to be a member. However I can guage an 'urban' movie, or at least, the type we all think of by how many extra secuirty officers are outside the theater on a friday night.

Around Philadelphia they move 'urban' movie release dates to Wednesday night because it lessens the amount of fights that happen in the theaters. Actually, I don't know that this is truly the reason why it is done but the practice seems to be widespread. Otherwise I don't know why else "How High" needed a five day weekend.

"Remember to memorize pages 39 to 110 for tomorrow's lesson...."

I'm "okay" with Denzel Washington. When he's good he's fucking brilliant. But other times, he's just okay, ya'know?. I don't know, I'm just kinda neutral.
Sorry

At the op'ra toNIGHT!

Oh man ... tragic.

Oh god. Please, please, PLEASE tell me that wasn't Rupert "Ripper" Giles in that opera torture shit. Can someone check the imdb page for Anthony Stewart Head for me please? I can't bear to look for myself. But the voice even sounded like him.
I feel sick. Giles? In a movie with Paris Hilton? A torture porn? A musical torture porn?!
I have to go lie down.

WTF??????????

That was a sick prank, right? Nobody can believe that is a good idea!

Repo! The Genetic Opera??

Man, that is just totally insane. Wait!

Is that the sound of approaching hoofbeats I hear?

I'm afraid it is indeed Anthony Head. Sorry isabelle but it's true.

I'm sorry, please feel free to take away my Pajiba credentials if needs be but: there is no force in Heaven or Earth that can stop me from seeing Repo! The Genetic Opera. None, whatsoever. Not even Hilton and her "singing part". Nothing.

I need to count how many times it is physically possible for one movie to go through the "so bad it's good" cycle before the world actually spins from it's axis and goes hurtling into the sun. It's a compulsion and my soul will not quiet until it is done.

Hee. I, personally, cannot wait.

I think the reason urban audiences might turn out to a movie with the word 'gangster' in the title is because of the word 'gangster' in the title. Gangsters, black or white, tend to be urban. I mean we don't have a lot of gangsters out here in the sticks. We have the Dover Locos, who hang out at the Taco Loco, but spraying graffiti and drawing naked women and cars in HS classes hardly constitutes a 'gangster' lifestyle.
For my part, a movie with the word 'gangster' in the title and starring Denzel Washington seems incongruous. The man oozes class and dignity, and I don't associate those things with gangsterhood of any kind. Now, one could say that Denzel is an actor and if Johnny Depp can go from Willy WOnka to skeevey pirate, then Denzel can play a gangster, but frankly (and I open an umbrella, sensing the spittle will be flying from the lips of those who disagree with what I am about to say) I have never felt Denzel Washington had the acting chops to be the chameleon that men like Depp and Daniel Day-Lewis are. No matter what he plays, he oozes this sort of class and dignity. Sure, he comes off as a super decent man, but an outstanding actor? Meh.
Now, I say all this having no idea how 'urban' this movie is, and NPR is prone to stupidity like everything else. (I remember on one segment an interviewee called a pair of artistEs 'alarmingly brilliant'. The pretension blew out my car windows) I just found it made no sense to start talking in terms of black and white because the term 'urban' was used, only to turn around and attack the connection between urban and black. Pajiban, YOU'RE the one who brought forth the connection. *eyeroll*

Okay, I'm opening a book on how long it takes Pookie to find someway to be offended by Dustin's comments above. Here's a run down of the current odds:

7-2: Pookie finds Dustin's assumption that urban = black so offensive we get a three-page vitriolic attack

Evens: Barbadoslim feeds whatever fire is started by Pookie's first comment

The spread on Socalledonlycousins jumping in at some point is so close it's not even worth posting.

By the way, it's comments like "if you don't like Denzel, you're not very bright" that create these bandwagons, which you Pajibans claim to despise. Just sayin'.

The only sketch I remember Nancy Walls in on SNL was my all time favorite sketch. David Allen Grier was hosting and it was a morning talk show (Will Ferrell and Nancy Walls were the hosts)where the teleprompters stop working. Because they can't ad-lib, things go into a downward spiral real fast resorting to cannabalism.

Hey PaddyDog what odds will ya give me on the following:

a) Vermillion responds to the "offended" post with one three times as long, citing external sources and possibly including quotations

b) At one point in the discussion somebody attempts to qualify their argument by mention of their race/skin colour/gender/liking of small puppies

Or would that just be throwing money away?

Sorry for the double post but the above odds have made me realise something: If it doesn't already exist we have to create the Pajiba drinking game!

Seriously - I move we have an Afternoon Comment Diversion to suggest the rules and then combine the best into a guide... or I may just invent it myself for fun. Because I'm bored and unsupervised.

ATO, V and I are en route to London right now for our visit, so V says we'll have to address Pookie later.

I do love Denzel, but I don't always enjoy his acting. He's good and sometimes he's blah. So...I think saying that if we don't like him we're not bright isn't entirely accurate; personal taste should come into play.

Though I would definitely pay to watch him read the phonebook.

hee! i *heart* you guys

Alex The Odd: Not sure what it says about us that we know our fellow frequent commenters so well at this point, but I'm all for the drinking game. Although in crafting the rules, take pity on someone who works (albeit as a consultant) for big corporations because if I have to have a shot of Bushmills every time Pookie posts an offended comment, I will be three-sheets-to-the-wind by noon.

That SNL skit had Cheri Otteri as the talk show host alongside Will Ferrell, not whoever this Nancy Walls person is.

How DARE you review a movie that is obviously made for black people! Shame on you Pajiba. Shame. On. You.

Erin: The talk show you're thinking about with Oteri and Ferrell was "Morning Latte". The skit I'm referring to was a morning show called "Wake up and Smile" and it had Ferrell and Nancy Walls with David Allen Grier as the weatherman who gets his head torn off and eaten by Ferrell.

Dude, I'm so there for the musical torture porn!! I can't wait! I'm getting drunker than a fly stuck on grandma's rum cake for this one, both before and during the feature. I hope I can contain my laughter. Hey, I never claimed to be classy... Now I've just gotta find some sucker - er, I mean friend - to go with me. This trailer almost looks fake! I have trouble even wrapping my mind around the fact that it exists. Reminds me of the fake trailers during Grindhouse.

Man, I can't believe there was a weekend chock full of movies I have no interest in seeing. I mean, most of the time there's something I'm like "meh, I'll netflix it, or go if one of my friends is going" but this weekend... nothing. Get on that, Hollywood.

At the library now, so I'll have to torture myself with the trailer later, but going off Alex's comment I'm intrigued. Of course, I might just have terrible movie radar, I do have a burning desire to see Southland Tales which is supposed to be a steaming pile of crap. So sue me, I like movies that at least TRY to do something new and different with the genre. Even if they're shitty they're at least head and shoulders above a goddamn Birds remake in my opinion.

Also, Pajiba drinking game = awesome.

all it needs is Oliver Platt to seal its box-office failure (no one shows up D'artagnan, damnit).

I love this random 'Three Musketeers' commentary that keeps sneaking in. Good times.

tony head singing? sarah brightman?

i'm seeing the shit out of that shit.

Get on that, Hollywood.

'I am Legend' opening next month?

A few things:

1) Liking Denzel a little, or in certain roles, does not mean you don't like him period and are therefore dimwitted. You don't have to have unconditional love for the man (in fact, if you do, that is pretty weird). Heck, I don't like all his flicks (Out of Time or whatever, while having both him and the hawtness of Sanaa Lathan and Eva Mendes, was quite insufferable). It is okay to only like him some of the time, which some of you commenters are saying, and therefore Dustin's remark does not apply to you. Now if you absolutely HATE every role he has had, then yes, you aren't very bright. So to reiterate: It is okay to not be a big fan of Denzel Washington.

2) I agree that Denzel is quite far from what most folks, regardless of race, would consider 'urban', whatever the hell that is anymore. I stopped caring about that stupid buzzword quite some time ago. I am more confused than offended, really. I do get the class and dignity oozing part, though. It is like someone said on the AG post: he is like Morgan Freeman in that regard, where he is so effective at playing certain roles that it is difficult for anyone to NOT hire him to play them. Of course, for years nobody thought he would ever play characters of dubious morality, such as a crooked cop trying to corrupt his partner or a vengeance seeking bodyguard.

3) by the way, Pajiba did not create the idea of 'urban'=black. Madison Avenue did. That has been around for quite some time. Seriously, take a long look at the stuff labeled as 'urban'. Go on, I'll wait.

3) I am upset because socalled screwed me over on the plane fare. I know you stuck me next to the bathrooms so you could upgrade, you bastard.

4) Alex, you always know how to warm my cold heart. Also, does this mean you lose? If so, take it out on socalled, he deserves it.

I mean, nobody's going to put Tony Head AND Sarah Brightman in a REAL musical together, are they? So, musical torture porn, it is, then.

5) D'artagnan was a pansy. Platt nee Porthos was the man. And don't you forget it!

Hahahahaha, If anything I hate being predictable, I guess we'll have to wait until Pookie gets here.

I waited on John Cusack once, he was very cool, but he likes his privacy. I slipped and fell and he got up to help me. He was my favorite actor before Clive Owen came along, but still, points for helping me out.

However, a friend who worked at the hotel he was staying in said that he was one of the worst guest they've ever had. She said he was mean and rude.

funny, i've always assumed urban referred less to inner city blacks and more to the upper middle class white kids that try to emulate them.

although i do like the use of urban in music retailing, because arguing with my kid brother that the likes of Usher and R. Kelly and the shit they try to pawn off as music can be classified as r 'n' b/soul and therefore in the same genre as Otis Redding, Marvin Gaye or Aretha was proving to be just too taxing. emo has done wonders for my nerves in the Evanessance vs. Bauhaus debate. now, if only they could also introduce a hip pop/crap classification, my 50cent vs. Pete Rock arguments could also be settled much more quickly. a pop-punk classification would help in the Sum41/Clash debate.

maybe i'm just a snob.

wait...

...yeah..i am a snob.

vermillion/socalled: how long are you in London for? i'm heading there myself tomorrow to work a trade fair until the 18th.

I think the only way we can get Pookie involved is if they change the movie to Tyler Perry's American Gangster.

causaubon: We're not really, we're just teasing Alex the Odd -- see Pajiba Love 10/31/07 (I think).

ahh. gotcha.

Giles??? Why would you do this to me??

I despise Paris Hilton and have always refused to endorse anything she is involved in....but I just can't be mean to Ripper.

(Although, as much as I love you, there is only one Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter...seriously, it's been done)

That clip confuses me. And scares me. And now I think I'm also a little gassy.

Thank you, Pajiba.

Who keeps spreading all these rumors that Lloyd Dobler's alter-ego, John Cusack, is a real-life douchebag? His newspaper delivery boy?

I think NPR called it Urban because American Gangster had its premiere at the Apollo Theater, Harlem and it was clearly a local crowd, some of who remember the 70s/80s era when gangsters ruled by Chinchilla.

To give them the benefit of the doubt- I think NPR meant that ON TOP OF regular movie fans seeing AG, the urban crowd (think Tyler Perry or Rush Hour folks) would turn out too, making it a big money success.

Now where's my Schweaty Balls recipe?

I have the same problem with music classification causaubon. The ex Mr TheOdd used to immediately state that punk was "a three chord pogression led by the drums" as soon as the word came up. Thus allowing him to class Sum 41 and Blink 182 with the Clash and the Sex Pistols.

Somebody remind me why I dated him for over 3 years?

Yep, Vermillion has taken his fake stalking of me to a whole new, albeit imaginary, level. I find it sweet.

I actually have about half of the rules for the drinking game drafted. Because it was a slow evening and I can't physically force myself to watch TV.. the only thing I have to watch from last week is *shudder* Private Practice and I just can't do that to myself. Not this evening.

Ms. The Odd: You dated someone who believed it was possible to equate ANY band with The Clash (pauses for moment of silence in remembrance of Joe).
I must take you under my wing immediately. You have so much to learn. Lesson #1, if he doesn't think The Clash are the greatest band ever, dump him, erase him from your memory and report him to EuroPol.
Bring on the drinking game rules. I demand a comment diversion.

For anyone who cares (ie, no one here...) No. 6 was 'The Game Plan', apparently. Which is, I imagine, the reason there is no No. 6. I think it probably falls into the category of That Which Shall Not Be Named...

I'm with PaddyDog - Bring on the drinking game rules, already!!

PaddyDog- the Serbian director Emir Kusturica (Black Cat, White Cat- for sure on my desert island list) has a band called The No Smoking Orchestra- imagine eastern European gypsy-slash-slavic (giant balalaikas!) punk folk music. he made a documentary of their European tour, called Super 8 Stories. during the course of the film the band runs in to many different famous musicians on the European summer concert/festival circuit. but when these musicians are shown on camera they are shown as regular people, ie: no white "title" (name, band) on screen when these musicians are shown. the sole exception is Joe. they run in to Joe at some "world music" summer festival outside of Barcelona and the first time he shows up on camera, the following title appears on the screen:

Joe Strummer

Hero

the movie came out (at least here where i live, deep in eastern europe) just after his death. i shed a tear.

and on a side note....

holy fuck. i guess i've just showed that i haven't been around Pajiba that long but...i totally always assumed that Alex the Odd was a dude.

who knew.

...and on a side note...

A the O- technically, i suppose, the "ex Mr TheOdd" was right: technically punk is nothing more than "a three chord pogression led by the drums" (except for the Ramones- they made do with two chords. fuckin' pioneers, man! i love them!). but then so is rock 'n' roll, and therefore so is the granddaddy of them all, the blues.

sometimes, less is more.

I need to count how many times it is physically possible for one movie to go through the "so bad it's good" cycle before the world actually spins from it's axis and goes hurtling into the sun.
I laughed hysterically at this. I also plan to see Repo! The Genetic Opera. Frankly, if Paris Hilton weren't involved, it would sound like the greatest idea ever.

Paddydog: Amen! The Clash is the best! Anyone who doesn't think that can't even be in my house!
Also - I'm with Alex on the drinking game! I don't usually read til I get home so I can drink. Plus, if it's with the pajibans that doesn't count as drinking alone right?
As for Repo! God help me, I'm sorta wanting to see this train wreck in the making. Do I need help?

It's a good thing you provided the clip for Repo! because I would have assumed you were kidding. In fact, I still thought you were kidding until I finally, just now, was able to watch it. The Mr's comment while only being able to listen was, "that sounds stupid." Seems like a good summary to me.

Oh man Dustin, that last line was GOLD! Thanks for the last laugh before I sleep...

A Pajiba Drinking Game! Hot Damn. I'm usually drinking when I read this site anyway. Why not make it official. I think rule one should be whenever anyone makes a reference to Firefly we have to drink. Yup, we'll all be smashed within three seconds, but it'll be fun. Speaking of drinks...I need a refill. Cheers!

PaddyDog: You are spot on with the betting. Maybe you should consider becoming Pajiba's bookie?

Dustin: I miss Easy Wok. Their food is so disgustalicious. I hear you on the ubiquitous Bee Movie promotions. I was sick of this movie in May.

I was annoyed by your statement about Denzel Washington. I find him insufferably annoying, his movies are always dead boring (man on fire, anyone?) and he takes himself way too seriously. Give me a good old fashioned action hero like Dwayne Johnson or Jason Statham any day. Their movies might not be bright, but at least they're enjoyable. (I must admit that Deja Vu was the exception, it wasn't all that bad)

As far as I know I'm female causaubon... although I could be wrong, you'll have to ask the ex Mr TheOdd ;)

Well, just in case the requested comments diversion doesn't materialise - and because I am so very, very bored (and it's only 11am) I've posted some basic rules on my blog.

My God, I need a life and a drink. Possibly not in that order.

"And if you don't like Denzel, it's not because you're white (or, nonurban), it's because you're not very bright."
I like Denzel very much, but canonizing actors of color can seem condescending. You know I love you, Dustin, so don't take it to heart.

Also, I completely agree that "urban" = black. I mean, seriously. I live in a lily-white n'hood in NYC and there's no way they're referring to me (though I'm dying to see this movie). "Urban" = "city-dweller" is just too broad to have any meaning. I guess I don't understand what the big deal is in saying that black audiences will turn out to see a well-reviewed movie that takes place largely in a historically black n'hood. It's not quite the same, but you'll have a hard time keeping me from seeing any movie about Irish-Catholics taking place in Boston. I guess it's obnoxious if the commentator meant that a movie with a black protagonist will appeal exclusively to black people, but it doesn't sound that way to me. I don't know. It's tricky.

Causaubon: I am Netflixing that movie immediately. There's also a new documentary out released this week in New York and L.A. (the movie industry perpetuates the myth that if you don't live in either of those cities, you have no desire to see anything worthwhile) called "Joe Strummer: The Future is Unwritten". It's directed by Julian Temple so it's got a great pedigree and among those interviewed is one of Pajiba's favourite sons: Lloyd Dobler. Anyway, so far, it's had good reviews from those who matter to me. Any chance of a Pajiba review guys?

amea_gari: as to Denzel Washington always oozing class and dignity, I suggest you watch You Got Game. He definitely plays against type in that movie and does a damn fine job of it.

I am SO gonna get nailed for this, but...

What, exactly, is so Great about The Clash?
They had that one song Rock the Casbah...
It got the hell played out of it on MTV at the time (back when MTV was God)...
Other than that, I just don't get it.
What am I missing?

:/ Anakyn, you were relying on MTV to tell you what is good. You're missing quite a lot.

Go look up their discography and history. They did a lot more than Rock the Casbah. That's all I'll say before I'll start sounding condescending and insulting. :/

Is that Guido The Killer pimp?