Pajiba

Sigh. I'm going to see this anyway, but I was hoping for total nostalgia.

Better than I expected, really.

I saw an extended trailer on TV the other night. It was late, I was pretty exhausted, but I laughed for a good minute, minute and a half after watching the clip of an exchange between a kid and his mom in their car while Steve Carell is dangling from a truck on the highway beside them. Dunno exactly why, but it was funny as hell to me at the time.

I will probably wait for DVD. I haven't seen one movie yet this summer. I will get around to Iron Man within the next week and after that it's Dark Knight, I don't really expect to see anything else beyond that.

I'm not very far into the review, but I must air an immediate disagreement:

The Fray is--in every way, every case, and all the time--unlistenable. It is limp-wristed, feeble, passionless junk that somehow passes for pop music.

That said, my wife and her father are seeing this right now. Which is totally irrelevant.

that sounds about right. i wonder how it will do up against the love guru.

I'll rent this because Steve Carell has my undying devotion, and because the Rock has my undying slobbering attention.

Come on! I drive a Camry, and I love her! Go pick on some other mass-produced, visible in every driveway automobile. Like the Accord.

Fucking Honda.

Terry Crews and David Koechner play The Rock's comedic foils (badly, I must add)

But please tell me that Koechner channels his skeevy Todd Packer self, at least?

"What has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This guy!" Ahhh...how very much we love to hate Todd Packer...

Sorry. As you were.

The Rock -- who doesn't exactly make good movies -- has nevertheless ingratiated himself to me

He's got magnetism, and projects a genuinely likable screen presence. Well that, and pectorals.

I'll see this because of him. Hell I saw Southland Tales because of him, and this has GOT to suck less than that.

what the hell are you talking about Dustin?!?

a burrito is nothing without a dollop of sour cream!!

NOTHING I TELL YOU!!!

(but since Anne Hathaway is one of my girl crushes, I will probably be seeing this at some point. most likely not in theaters [Wall-E and Dark Knight are the only ones with those privilages at this point], but one it gets to DVD)

I'll watch this when it's played ad nauseum on Comedy Central in three years.

The Rock -- who doesn't exactly make good movies -- has nevertheless ingratiated himself to me

For me it was when he made the brief appearance in Reno 911!: Miami that made me feel a little better about not hating him. That doesn't mean I'm going to watch Gridiron Gang or The Game Plan, but it does mean that I won't totally discount or vomit on a movie if he happens to be in it. Plus, like twig pointed out, HOTNESS!

I'll probably end up seeing this sometime, though not in theaters. Hell, it can't be as bad as the last bond parody comedy I saw, Johnny English. goddamn that was awful.

sean- love the use of limp wristed... that phrase just has so much wonderful imagery potential that is unused.

But seriously the casting list for this film is a little weird, Zod and the Scorpion King play the handlers of the princess diaries princess and the forty year old virgin, who are bumbling spies. Its a little like the pop culture perfect storm until Champ Kind and Hiro turn up.

Good grief, what's the point of a burrito without sour cream?

Indeed, it is to movies what Phoenix or Denver is to cities: A place you don't mind being, but not exactly a city on your summer vacation calendar. Well put. Exactly how I feel about those two places.

Catherine, I second that. Everyone knows that a burrito is simply a method of sour cream delivery. Otherwise, you're the nasty guy that eats sour cream out of the container with a spoon.

Also, kudos to Dustin for not rolling low enough to have to sit through The Love Guru.

I have to agree with Catherine: A burrito is not a burrito without sour cream.

*BREAKING*

Harry Knowles, the Ultimate Movie Whore, has PANNED The Love Guru.

This is from a man (um, I think he's human, anyway) who gave a positive review to fa-chrissakes Van Helsing. I can hardly believe my eyes.

Love Guru suckage may be powerful enough to end life as we know it. Get your affairs in order, people.

Dangle, you beat me to it! The Rock looked fucking hot in Reno 911, brief as his appearance was.

I'm a big fan of Anne Hathaway, but this is odd casting to me. I could believe she was Maxwell's daughter, as opposed to his [SPOILER] budding love interest. Seriously, they couldn't find a 30-something actress to play this role? What's next, Abigail Breslin hooks up w/ Ryan Gosling?

Eww, The Fray. Whenever I think of that awful, droning "How to Save a Life", I automatically think of Grey's Anatomy, which also hurts.

Brie -- the age discrepancy was actually explained away in the film; apparently, she was much older, but during the drastic plastic surgery, they also youthed her up by a decade. Also, when thinking about "How to Save a Life," it is more helpful to think of it in the context of one of the best "Scrubs" episodes ever. Finally, sour cream is tasteless globs of fat cream. -- DR

Jerce:

What, exactly, were you doing at AICN? Hmm?

I think we need to have a talk, missy. I am very upset with you right now. And a little concerned about how you're spending your time.

[frowns]

[disapproving headshake]

Hathaway's strangely foxy, but I can't help but think she's had the eyes of a horse transplanted into her friggin' ocular sockets.

Can anyone check up on this and get back to me in the event I have the opportunity to sleep with Ms. Hathaway? I'd like to know if making sweet love to someone with horse eyeballs constitutes bestiality... although that's never been a problem in the past...

At least no one complains about the headlines around here...I was witness to a huge debacle on AICN about the Sex and the City review's controversial title. Everyone here seems to have a better sense of humor, or at least more evolved reasons for being offended I frequent both sites, but frankly I'd rather have a martini with all of you here than have a beer over with the AICN people.

As for Get Smart, it may not be Wall-E or The Dark Knight, but at least it isn't The Happening or The Love Guru. Should be seeing this during the weekend...glad there's something to delay me eventually being dragged to The Happening.

What, exactly, were you doing at AICN? Hmm?
I think we need to have a talk, missy.

I was...uh...doing research! And I was distracted by an ad, or something...and I accidentally clicked through!

And besides! I can go anywhere I dang well please! I'm an adult grown-up and you're not the boss of me!

::hastily deletes bookmark::

"...but frankly I'd rather have a martini with all of you here than have a beer over with the AICN people...."

No kiddin' Mike R.... In fact, I'd go as far to say I'd rather drink room-temp Schlitz with 'Jibans than drink Crystal Lite with the AICN crew.

Yeah, I happen to love Crystal Lite. Sogoddamedwhat?

Don't feel bad, Jerce, I dipped my toes in that dirty water last week looking for a review of The Crappening...

I take offense to the Twin's comment, but can't entirely disagree. I suppose that makes you absolutey correct... *pouting and stomping away*

AAAARGH!

I have to agree with the commenters above -- a burrito is a semi-elaborate sour-cream-delivery mechanism. Oh, and guacamole, too. Mmmm, guacamole.

Dairy makes me ill, but I will suffer for a burrito with sour cream. It's just not the same without the sour cream.

What was this movie about, again? I mean I used to watch Get Smart back in the day, and I don't remember a thing about it now. I suspect that if I watched the movie the nostalgia bits would go right past me.

How does this movie compare to the first Get Smart Movie? The Naked Bomb? I think the name says it all, and I don't remember a thing about that movie except I had to suffer through nekkid Don Adams at the end of it, if you'll pardon the pun.

I wouldn't so much call a burrito a guacamole delivery method, thejodester, as I'd call it an excuse to smear said guacamole on something as opposed to eating it with a spoon or breaking chips in it. (Obviously, no chip can stand up to the weight and thickness of good guac.)

Ah. Thank you for mentioning the meh-ness that is the 7th season of Scrubs. Why were the writers thinking? I have an overwhelming sense of blah whenever someone mentions it.

I have to disagree with you about the usage of that Fray song in that Scrubs episode. I am not overly fond of that episode and I think that there are far better episodes. There will be no argument about "My Screwup" being the best of the show's run.

Get Smart movie? Meh.

Well said, Sean, well said.

Sour cream is an essential food stuff. AICN occasionally has good interviews. Warm beer is nasty. Schlitz cold is still nasty.

Strangely enough, I am pretty happy with this verdict. I figured it wouldn't be a laugh riot, but I am happy that it didn't completely suck. It already had a big strike against it (being a remake), but I kinda wanted it to not be complete trash.

Of course, this is mostly because

1) I like The Ro...Dwayne Johnson, and not just in the bad way that makes Baby Godtopus cry;

2) Steve Carell admits he is just glad (and a bit mystified) that anyone wants him in a movie, and that kind of humility and self-deprecation is refreshing to see (re: certain Grey's Anatomy cast members);

and 3) I would like to take Ms. Hathaway out for a nice dinner, maybe some dancing, and finish up with a three-hour marathon of wreckin' dem guts.

P.S. Did I ever mention how thrilled I am she is single now, and therefore off my no-no list? It is like a breath of fresh air. On my junk.

I have great nostalgia for the original show. It was endlessly played on Nick at Nite reruns and gobbled up by my siblings and me. But I'll wait for the DVD. I had great nostalgic feelings for Bewitched from the same Nick at Nite marathons and we all know what a debacle that ended up being. However I'm an endless optimist (read gullible chump) and so I'll wait for the DVD and get it through Netflix in the hopes that perhaps I won't have my childhood once again trampled upon (way too many examples to begin to list). This review gives me a little hopes that it will at least be passable. Just seeing the trailer with Steve Carrell stuck in the phone booth/elevator was able to make me grin and that might be enough.

Thanks for the explanation, Dustin.

I know the Scrubs episode you're talking about (the one about Dr. Cox, right?) but you know what? Even with my love for Scrubs, I still hate that fucking song.

But I must disagree on the sour cream. Not only does it make burritos better, but it adds a wonderful flavor to baked potatoes. And after reading a somewhat legitimate article on AOL, it turns out that it's not as fattening as once thought. Yea!!!

damnit, now I want burritos with sour cream (lots) and some good guac...

instead I am eating celery

which I love, don't get me wrong, but it is not quite hitting the spot anymore with all this mexican food talk

ooooh, and a good margarita, yummmmmmm

Yes, but was Phoebe Price any good?

room-temp Schlitz

There goes my lunch and my moodring from 3rd grade.

i feel passionately about minnesota twins baseball, thank you very much. it may be because my formative years were spent waving a homer hankie as they won the series...twice.

Vermillion, did you see Carell on the Daily Show the other day? I love his appearances, he always begins by acting like an egotistical diva and then the facade cracks and he ends up thanking Jon Stewart for giving him his career. He's so down-to-earth and sweet.

I for one love Raisinettes.

P.S. ajax19, you're not the only one that cracked up at that exchange.

P.P.S. twig, I also saw Southland Tales because of him, and I think you're right about this having to suck less. It couldn't possible suck more unless it were Gigli.

(well, technically, I also saw it because of SMG, who doesn't really make good movies, or have magnetism, or a likeable presence, or pectorals, or acting skills; yet I have some bizarre obsession with seeing every single thing she's in, including that god-awful thing with Alec Baldwin where she's his much younger proofreading protege and they have an affair and oh dear god someone please claw out the part of my brain that remembers this movie, although it at least had the decency to forget the title.)

I'm slightly peeved that you identified two things from Colorado as the lotion-less tissues of paper products. Fine, Denver isn't fantastic but where else can you travel the longest street in America or be exactly one mile above Sea Level? And the Fray... c'mon man... they're named 'the fray' for a reason! Give them some respect for making it through their tough times and catchy hit single!

I'm really disappointed that you chose to make fun of my state as mediocre. Maybe you would have hurt my feelings less if you had said a positive thing about the Centennial State. Don't they teach you that sort of stuff in publisher school?

Anyhow, I saw the movie this morning baked out of my skill and even then, I have to agree it was totally the maize of crayons.

Rental. Fun rental, with some snacks and drinks and friends, but still a rental.

Also, put me on board the Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson love train. That man should be in ALL movies. Lets be honest, in 95% of movies it definitely couldn't hurt.

Sean, I just made guacamole the first time this past weekend, and it wasn't quite that thick. I still have much to learn.

Apparently I'm still baked out of my "skill." If it wasn't obvious enough, I meant to say skull.

motions GaR into shadowy alleyway

The secret to fabulous guacamole is fresh garlic and roughly-chopped firm-ripe avocados.

damn html.

Genny (aR), I haven't tried making my own guac yet, despite frequent thoughts of doing so. Chipotle's guac, though...mmmmm.

Kate, my hatred of the Fray has nothing to do with Colorado. In fact, I didn't know where they were from, just that they are Godtopus-awful, which has nothing to do with their state of origin. Shit is shit no matter which asshole it comes from.

So, in summation: go Colorado, fuck the Fray. Thank you.

Indeed, it is to movies what Phoenix or Denver is to cities: A place you don't mind being, but not exactly a city on your summer vacation calendar.

I live in Phoenix, and Denver is a REALLY nice place to visit to get away from the summer blaze. I should know, I just got back from visiting my sister there.

Evil jodester. Now I want guacamole.

Actually, I happen to dig downtown Denver. I'd like to give a shout out to Colfax and the venereal disease I caught by brushing my dinkle against a dumpster whilst having a drunken pee.

That being said, I like my guac thick enough to spackle drunken drywall cracks...

Jules,

More specifically, you want the mouth-watering amazingness that is my guacamole. Seriously, it's like a gift from Godtopus herself.

I want to see this. Steve Carell makes me smile and, with the right combination of drugs, The Rock could be my future husband.

Party at Jodie's! I'll bring the beer and my life size cutout of The Rock.

If you bring The Rock to my house, he's staying there.

The Rock has earned my respect for having fantastic looks and a ridiculous body - and being willing to make himself look like a total jackass on screen.

He was literally the only good thing about Be Cool because he was willing, nay eager, to play a gay moviestar wannabe for laughs without making those laughs be "hey, laugh at the fag" pandering.

And come on: The Rundown was great.

Completely random and off topic, but when I was living in Ithaca I had a neighbor who scored a lif-size cutout of Chewbacca during the dumpster-diving frenzy that happens when the Cornell kids leave town. That and a brand new vacuum cleaner. You wouldn't believe the things those kids leave behind.

thejodester, I used Alton Brown's recipe off the food network site that advised using a potato masher to break up the avocado halves. I'll try chopping next time, and I totally used fresh garlic. I ALWAY use fresh garlic.

And I've actually seen The Rock in person. It was magical. Had there not been Secret Service agents everywhere (it was at a Bill Clinton speech at my college) I may not have been able to control myself.

mighty, I'm completely with you on The Rundown. One of the better silly action flicks in recent memory.

lif-size
obviously this was meant to be life-size.

GaR, I love Alton, but I have to disagree with him on this one. Slice the avocado into rough chunks while it's still in the skin, then scoop it out into the bowl. I usually use a fork to mash everything together. And chop your tomatoes, onion and garlic and combine them all first -- you want to do as little stirring as possible once you've added the avocado.

Also, party at Jodie's sounds good. We can eat guacamole and watch The Rock's decent movies. We can call it Guac-Rock '08.

Yes, I suck.

I would write all that down Jodester, but I don't need to make my own since you are now my guacamole bitch.

I will teach you the way of the guacamole, but first you must snatch this pebble from my hand...

We can call it Guac-Rock '08.

Yes, I suck.

Hee!

I actually had a life sized cutout of The Rock in college, my roommate hung it in our suite's adjoining hallway as a joke. Over his nipples we had put stickers from fresh pears that said "Yields to gentle pressure."

We were bored a lot.

Over his nipples we had put stickers from fresh pears that said "Yields to gentle pressure."

Words are insufficient to describe the degree of mirth this sentence induces.

Non-purists' guac: avocado and Herdez salsa casera to taste, medium or wimp as you choose. (The canned kind tastes better.) Mash. Serve with Grande tortilla strips, the choice of starving college students. Mmm. Even after too many beers and margaritas, I can still put that together correctly without a trip to the emergency room.

Gavin,

Life is too short for lazy guacamole.

I'll probably see this anyways, since I've heard certain rumors about a kiss between Steve and Dwayne, which has effectively fueled my threesome fantasies for the past week. At least until Dustin takes up Stacy on her offer over at WIMB and shows off the goods. But seriously, this moive has probably one of the most likable casts assembled on screen, so ten bucks seems like a small price to pay.

Indeed, Get Smart is, like this review, simply adequate.

Now all I can think of is Bill McNeal and his adequatulence.

Before I met Alton Brown, I was in love with him, watched his show everyday, and just glazed over the fact all the recipes I tried of his from the food network's website never came out quite right. I'm a master chef, it wasn't me. It was the recipe. Or maybe just Alton...

Then I met him in person. Twice. He has personally cooked for me. Huge jerk, big a-hole. He insulted every other personality on the food network, made nasty jokes about his 3 previous wives (my mom used to say look for the common denominator in failed relationships), called his fans names, and he has huge liver spots all over his face. It must take an amazing amount of make up to make him look TV ready.

Don't buy the hype.

Guac: Ripe but not soft avocados; slice into strips while still in peel. Mix in bowl with fresh cilantro (lots), lemon juice, tiny diced onions, raw garlic, and Hot Pace picante sauce (for spicy kick). Add salt and pepper, mash with potato masher till lumpy and creamy.

Margs: Three to two to one with tequila, fresh lime juice, and Cointreau, mix in Agave nectar to taste -- usually just slightly less than the lime juice. Salt the rim of your glass (sounds like a pirate sex story), pour over rocks.

Rent Get Smart and go to town.

Jodester: Alas, there's too many avos rotting on the damn tree in the backyard to spend all that time every time. But, yeah, sometimes I use the tomatoes from the backyard (woo-hoo, the vines didn't die this winter and they're back in production), fresh garlic, fresh cilantro, little lemon or lime, onions to taste.

I'm sticking by the Grande tortilla strips, however.

Word, Vermillion, Hathaway is elegantly hot and seems to be a very healthy person, so news of her renewed singleness has put a song in my heart. It may come down to a duel between us for her affections.


Oh, and you lot can keep your guacamole. I have yet to find an avocado-based recipe that doesn't induce nausea and an urge to feed it to the nearest cat (because I wouldn't inflict it on any dog, except maybe purse-sized miniatures, because it would be funny). Oh, and I'll be having my perogies with lots of extra rich sour cream sauce tonight, thank you very much!

Good on you, Julie! (I don't know why I've adopted that expression, but I think it's neat)

I love your love for The Rock, which most certainly justifies my own personal true love/lust of over 25 years (!),

Diane Lane

(sorry, just love to see the name on a line all its own)

There are some actors you just don't need to have a specific reason nor justification for loving so much, because it's more like everything about them more than anything specific, if that makes sense.

And The Rock was definitely meant for bigger things than wrestling. He hasn't come close to disappointing so far in his new career, and seems to be making the right choices now.

Gotta go read the rest of the comments; I only typed this now because yours is the last post I saw, when I was actually responding to your FIRST post - please forgive the confusing timeline.

Another good use for avocados: Mash them up half and half with your favorite mayo for hamburger spread. Add tomato slice, hold the mustard.

Um, tomatoes are ALWAYS of crucial import on sandwiches. That is all.

You can also add avocado to a food processor with a 1/2 cup of mayo, a 1/2 cup of sour cream, fresh lemon, fresh basil and cilantro, and salt and pepper. Makes a great topping for seared tuna.

I don't understand the Hathaway love. She looks like a 1/4 retarded elf with a slight over-bite. She's fairly cute, if you can get past the elfen ears.

gavin, if I had an avocado tree in my backyard I would probably die of happiness. I am growing my own tomatoes and jalapenos, though.

Does anyone else think that Anne Hathaway looks like a Bratz doll?

This definitely sounds like a movie you wouldn't seek out but are really happy to watch on a Sunday when you can't pry your ass off the couch.

I've recently found that dumping a small handful of garlic chives to the batch of guac, some roughly-chopped roasted red peppers (the store bought jar kind), and at least one finely-diced habanero pepper makes for a very happy Skittimus.

I'm off to drink ice-cold Stella in my backyard until it gets dark out and I can't stand without aid. Have a great weekend you sunsabitches!

Raisinettes, Olive Garden, and The Rock are all guilty pleasures that hold special places in my heart. So maybe this movie is worth adding to my queue (or more like OUR queue since Netflix will be doing away with multiple queues for one account, grrrrrrrrr) because I can't quite see shelling out nine bucks, as much as I love The Rock and Steve Carrell.

I second the vote for Chipotle's guac. Except the gals working the burrito line never quite get the meaning of "a little bit" and drown my poor burrito bol.

Hmmm...let's see..

avocados = green...yeah...dis-gust-ing...and bordering on not existing...

She's fairly cute, if you can get past the elfen ears.

Are you shitting me? She's already pretty hot...but add in those sexy, sexy elfen ears...and I'd kill to be her trashman who sees her once a week and might talk to her once a month and goes home and fantasizes about marrying her and screwing her to the cushion underneath him as he ignores his dysfunctionally criminally mediocre family fall apart around him and his damn nagging wife and wishes he had the courage to just smother her in her sleep and go to Miss Hathaway because it's obvious she likes him and wants him, after all, didn't she laugh at his joke last month? It didn't sound forced at all...

Ummm....sooo....she's hot.

Great review!

Wow Shadows, you get dirtier every day.

[wipes away tear]

I'm so proud.

And yeah, I think Hathaway is insanely pretty. She has great eyes.

Dakaron, Julie, you're forgetting the smile. Oh, that smile.....
I'll be in my bunk.

Pink, good to see you, you get better, you hear? I'm pulling for you!

Shadows, does this make it a 3-way duel (triuel?) then? I've already got a room in my basement ready for her. I call dibs, dibs, I say!

Great, now I want Tex-Mex. Immediately.

Finally, sour cream is tasteless globs of fat cream.

You, sir, need to see a doctor about your tastebuds. They're obviously not working.

I envy anyone who can claim their own avocado tree.

As it is, I've just planted my first lime tree this year (crosses fingers it makes it through the fuckin' drought)

**15 days of 100+ heat in Texas, for Chrissakes! - what, did we arrive in hell and I missed the memo???

Shadows, did you see Havoc? Because Hathaway shows boob in that one. She's my straight girl crush.
Even though the plot and the performances were laughably bad. Anne doesn't play the ghetto princess very well.

Chipotle is the best, but there's this rip-off nearby called Qdoba, and they give you a full cup of guacamole instead of that teeny little side cup. The avocados are the perfect consistency, and not too many onions.

Um, tomatoes are ALWAYS of crucial import on sandwiches. That is all.

Posted by: becca at June 20, 2008 3:33 PM

Tomatoes do not belong on my sandwich as they will sully the goodness that is the meats and multiple kinds of cheese that go on my sandwiches. Tomatoes only go into Italian food. My sandwiches are masterpieces of meat, cheese, and bread.

Screw condiments. Sandwiches are foods from the gods.

I refuse to patronize Qdoba (or Moe's, for that matter). I am irrationally prejudiced against any burrito joint that is not Chipotle.

My parents used to have their own avocado tree in Cape Town. Thing was enormous, and would yield, I shit you not, probably 150 avocados per year. It was insane. You've never eaten so much guac (and deliciously fresh guac) in your life. They used to have avocado picking parties.

Fuck, I'm hungry again.

Also, sour cream? A gift from Godtopus. Seriously. I use it on everything.

EVERYTHING. I rub it on my skin like lotion. I wash my hair with it. I sleep in a frigid vat of it.

even though Chipotle is owned by McD's?

I refuse to darken their doorstep for that reason alone.

Also, All Hail Freebirds. There is no other burrito.

There's place in Philly called El Fuego that makes burritos the size of a small puppy. They are heaven in a tortilla.

It's funny, Stella, that my hatred for McDonald's is far more prevalent than for almost anything on Earth. I won't go into it, because I'm leaving work soon and I could rant for quite a while. But I choose to ignore their majority ownership in Chipotle. Majority ownership doesn't necessarily mean control. Chipotle is just too damn good. And double-standards are fun!

I'm having typing issues today, apparently. I think I need to go home and start drinking heavily.

Mmmm, El Fuego burritos...their tagline should be "What orgasms taste like covered in guac."

Jodester, why bother going home first?

lol Sean, My hatred of McD's is only eclipsed by my loathing of Walmart - I was so self righteously proud of not having stepped into either place in months, nay Years I say, and then, the weekend before our cruise, I had to run out for some last minute items, and I ended up in both Walmart AND McD's (I was really hungry and blood sugar was low)...

anyone read Animal Vegetable Miracle? After reading it, I am reaffirmed in my NOT going to those two places again.

Melody honey, you've obviously been dropped on your head. Tomatoes make anything better!

Brie, let's not forget Brokeback too.

TK, is that why your sweatervest has a few white spots on it? I think you missed a bit when you were getting ready this morning (or are those leftovers from lunch?). Godtopus has indeed favoured you/us.

burritos the size of a small puppy

Cut out the middle man. Eat a small puppy.

TK,

I don't think my employer is understanding enough for me to start drinking here. Unfortunately. It does put a damper on my alcohol intake.

Sweater vest jokes!

[sharpens knives]

Good one, LH.

[summons zombies]

Hey, c'mere for a second, I want to show you something.

Shadows, did you see Havoc? Because Hathaway shows boob in that one. She's my straight girl crush.

I own it. It's a very well-played DVD, lemme tell you...I even considered getting Brokeback Mountain just to see her sex scene...but decided that just having the movie clip on my comp was good enough.

No, I'm not sick, sex-deprived, or a sociopath. I just like well-formed boobies.

lordhelmut (I love your name, by the way...very awesome}...I'm perfectly happy to wait until you two work things out and kill each other over her before stepping in and stealing her away.

Jodester, I think between the two of us we can figure out a way to hide a six pack of beer.

We're reasonably intelligent people, I'm sure we can work something out. And if that fails, I do have a flask...

Y'all got it all wrong, guacamole is made with avocados scooped out of the skin with a spoon and maked with a fork, lime juice and salt. Finite. Or if you are are wanting to go all fancy-like, add chopped cilantro, tomato, a bit of jalapeno and green onion. Serve with Frito Scoops. Make it, eat it, love it.

Take it from a Tex-ican. :)

I have...a box of Ziplock baggies. I'll fill them with booze and strap them to my thigh with rubberbands. Klassy!

Actually, drinking at work is how I got this gnarly scar on my middle finger.

[shows everyone middle finger]

I was trying to open a microbrew with a lighter, slipped, and gouged out a huge chunk of it.

jodester, my best friend once bought me a water bra filled with beer. Best. Friend. Ever. This also made me the best girlfriend ever.

::checks fully-charged Omni-Taser Supreme::

::fires up MurderMaid::

TK, bring it! Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.

Shadows, to you I simply say, "never underestimate the power of the Schwartz!"

(Oh, and back at you with the awesome name props)

jodester, my best friend once bought me a water bra filled with beer. Best. Friend. Ever. This also made me the best girlfriend ever.

I like where this is going.

Wow Shadows, you get dirtier every day.

Honestly, Julie...it's not directly my fault. My significant other brings it out in me...and you people are the only ones (besides her) who reap the benefits of it.

Now suck it.

Hee hee hee.

California Burrito:

Carne asada, achiote chicken or carnitas con
guac, queso, crema, and... FRENCH FRIES
pour in salsa verde for each bite
and a large Coke on ice

For some reason I had convinced myself that I didn't like guacamole and consistently asked that it not be included in dishes. This weekend I got a plate of nachos with it on and I tried some for the first time and loved it. Yesterday I amused myself at the reference desk reading various recipes online and fantasizing about making some. One thing that stops me: how unbelievably expensive all produce is.

So Stella I have a deal for you. You may come visit me here in Alaska where we've barely broken 70 as an escape from the Texas heat (as a native Texan I remember it well) if you bring me fresh avocados.

Texan here as well, and currently living in balls-hot Austin. Libraryliz, I will trade you locales. I always compare Texas summers to childbirth: every year you're always surprised at how ri-cock-ulously hot it gets because your body blocks out the memory so you don't move the hell away.

I was always raised with the simple guac: avocados, lime juice, a little garlic, chopped tomatoes and salt.

I get a little angry when restaurants fancify it. When I was living in Japan, I would track down corn chips and make some guac when I got homesick.

Interesting side note: Avocado Trees are also called Testicle Trees, because the avocados grow in pairs with one of them hanging lower than the other. True.

Whoa whoa whoa. Wait a minute. The seventh season of scrubs is fucking terrible.

I always thought of The Rock as the most successful graduate of the Joey Tribbiani School of "Smell-the-Fart" Acting.

Also, All Hail Freebirds. There is no other burrito.

Mo-to the-otto. Goddamn I miss it.

Anne Hathaway looks like Jason Biggs twin sister. I would only touch her in a dark room. Now Thandi Newton...I'd "smart" the hell out of her.

But what about Agent 57, dammit? Where did he go? Anyone who can be such a master of disguise that they could change their molecular structure, and then forget who they were in the first place, has my vote.

Oh. Wait a sec. Must be my Descreeto Burrito talking.

... la cucaracha...

--- Also, All Hail Freebirds. There is no other burrito.
Posted by: Stella at June 20, 2008 4:18 PM

It is impossible for a burrito named after a Skynyrd song to be the best there is. If it was a turkey sandwhich, maybe. Also, I am positive is not made at Chipoodle. The best burrito is named after the town the taco shop owner was born in or some Aztec god, and it is unprounanceable to any white person, like Huitzilopochtli or Tlaxcaltecs. And it is made in California, Arizona, New Mexico or the Tex-Mex border in some hole in the wall joint. Probably in San Ysidro. Most definitely not in Philly.

So where's the review for "The Love Guru"?

I'm sorry to have to put it out there like that while you are all enjoying your Friday evening and whatnot. But I hear it's so bad that people are throwing themselves off of buildings like the people in "The Happening".

I hear it made the Baby Godtopus cry.

Huge jerk, big a-hole...Don't buy the hype.

Alton Brown: The real-life Anal Retentive Chef.

The husband and I watch his show for the bits where Alton goes completely psycho and, like, whips out his Dremel to make his own cheese slicer out of a 2x4 and some wire. Or mixes up his own fachrissakes ketchup. It's good for shits and grins; but you're right, none of his recipes are worth a fart (at least not the few I tried before I gave up in disgust).

Woah, Woah, Woah, everyone hold on just a godtopus damned minute. Dustin directly and unabashedly insults the fine city of Denver and all you guys come up with is one little comment 12 hours ago? Come on! As a former Colorado, current Arizona resident I have to say that Phoenix is the most piss-poor excuse for a city I have ever seen. It is by far the ugliest city in the country (all monotone and dirt and no culture whatsoever) and the temperature is perpetually over 120 degrees even in the middle of January. Denver on the other hand is decent enough. At the very least it has culture, and Colfax is awesome, it's like a mini-ghetto for tourists who have never seen a real ghetto before. By comparing Phoenix and Denver as equals, Dustin, you have insulted me personally. If I ever see you in person you had best be carrying a sword or pistols, because you will have a duel on your hands.

For Shame!

OK, This has nothing to do with the movie, but oh well.
Dude, whats wrong with Denver? Methinks it's a pretty awesome place. Didn't you watch Real World: Denver? I think they showed the city in a pretty good light... Umm what site am I on again?

Anyway, I'm from Colorado Springs and always enjoyed the town, and besides it's REALLY easy to get drunk there for cheap cuz the elevation. (the ella' ella' elevation. Sorry that stoopid song's stuck in my head.)

So now I live in Tucson. Both Colo. Spgs. and Tucson are about an hour and a half south of their respective capitols you don't like so much. SO I'm wondering why you hate everywhere I live?
Is it me? I'm beginning to think so

Word Wakeful, I actually don't much like Phoenix either

Thanks TheSharp, backup is always appreciated. Random note: I saw The Real World: Denver being filmed one time when a friends wedding reception was in the venue across the street from the Real World apartment. Never watched the show, though.

Well, if it makes you feel any better there's no reason at all to visit Atlanta. I've only been to the Denver airport, Best Western and then Greyhound station when it became clear the FAA weren't going to open the airports for several more days. I'd been trying to get to Portland, so I've never really tried to go to Denver but found it completely pleasant enough.

Plus, Denver is probably more of an actual city than Atlanta. Can't comment on the Phoenix comparison, I've only been to Tuscon, which was wonderfully cool and dry the last three days of October, but I wouldn't want to go there in the summer.

Uhh yeah, Jay. It'll stay over a hundred for the next 3 months, during the night too. Maybe early morning will hit 97. But hey, it's been 5 years I've been here now and I'm used to it. Word of advice for anyone who moves here. 3rd floor apartments are a no no. Unless you like living in a microwave.. ARgh, I need more electrolytes. It's what my body craves!

I don't know what you're talking about w/r/t the seventh season of scrubs. Watching it, I felt like they made it just to hurt me personally.

Yes, I think Anne Hathaway is attractive too...but sometimes looks weird. Not quite the Seinfeld dichotomy, but I can see where some dispersions are based.

I don't like avocados, period. But I think I sorta understand Nicole now in that I despise the word "guac". The word sounds gross, and it's something I don't want on or near my food. Blech. Now I'm fucking thinking about it, jerks.

I like the strawberry-kiwi, strawberry-orange-banana and pineapple-orange Crystal Light. It's adult Kool-Aid that doesn't stain you. High five, Skit. But this "What's Your Flavor" little personality quiz on Kraft's web site?

Assumes you're a woman.

Do you not want my money, Kraft? Am I not a valid customer? Cause there's generic brands too, and the strawberry-orange-banana's actually a bit more potent in Kroger's mix, while, yes, also being cheaper.

You really wanna go there, Kraft?

You wanna go there too, html?

Yeah, that's what I thought!

You show that html code who's boss, Jay. Don't take no shit.

so, basically, you're sayng that Get Smart is to films what your review is to Pajiba?

sorry mate. couldn't make it to the end of the first paragraph.

zzzz

Jay, I'm with you on the disgusting avocado/guac thing. [righteous fist bump] But Kraft? Seems to assume only women do the shopping, which to me is unfortunate. It appears they did indeed go there, and must be taught a lesson.

According to Wikipedia:
"In Ukrainian and Russian cuisine, sour cream is often added to borscht and other soups, and is used as a condiment for pirogies. . . . Hungarian cooks use it regularly as an ingredient in sauces and in recipes such as ham-filled crepes."

I must admit that I hate sour cream in and of itself, but I respect it's role in Eastern European cooking. While some wiki-ster observed that "In Tex-Mex cuisine, it is often used as a condiment to cool the hot pepper components of tacos, nachos, burritos, taquitos or guacamole," I'd say that sour cream on a burrito is a white-bread abomination and a wimpy juxtaposition of incompatible ethnic signature components. Kind of like adding Hillary Clinton to the Barack Obama ticket.

Back again...just saw this tonight. In all honesty, I enjoyed this film more than I thought I would. It's amusing, it's pretty damn good, and best of all it ISN'T the Love Guru.

One big gripe though, Dustin...did you have a Disaster Movie trailer attached to your screening? If so, why the goddamn hell didn't you warn us? The only laugh I got out of it was the face of the SJP impersonator (who incidentally was a man). It was more of a laugh at something ugly instead of funny. Plus it's pretty pathetic they're only making fun of the TRAILER to Hancock, seeing as I doubt they even saw the film before production.

Are they in THAT much of a rush to degrade American cinema? God fuck, I need a scotch. Sorry if that was a little long winded, I need to vent somewhere.

Screw sour cream and the guac - give me the pure, doughy bloated goodness of an overstuffed burrito au naturel.

PS. Raisinets kick ass.

...did you have a Disaster Movie trailer attached to your screening?

...
...
...
Skitt? TK? There's a couple people we need to eliminate right the fuck now. I mean now. The MurderSub is already on its way...just need the MT and the Pajiba Zombies for ground support.

I just wanted to say that all my burritos get the sour cream treatment.

All due respect to nostalgians like libraryliz, but: How many of you can there possibly be for this show? I understand why movies like this get made -- because 10,000 theater screens can't go blank. But the cynicism involved in cranking it out knowing there can't be an audience of more than ... what, a few thousand? ... for this -- people whose lives haven't been complete since "Get Smart!" stopped airing and who have been barking into their shoe soles ever since in hopes of getting a movie made -- well, it just boggles the mind.

I mean, I lived through the 60s, I watched "Get Smart!" when I was a kid, but I still ask: Why would the other 299,998,000 of us possibly care?

**Off to check the box office .. what? $35 million?**

Ya know, trashing the entertainment industry is fine (Rainbow Killer and Crash, anyone?) but why would you have to trash cities where your users potentially live and potentially love? I live in Denver, and love this city more than anything, and my guess is that you've never been here, Dustin.

And then you have to go and trash The Fray, who are from Denver. Why do you hate Colorado so much? Out mountains are so, so pretty, I promise you.

Aspen's pretty spesh.

What an incredibly zen movie review.

I found it perfectly efficient, precise and oddly soothing, like an episode of "Dragnet."

I dig that the superstar secret agent is #23. Michael Jordan, Ryne Sandberg and Devin Hester all agree that 23 represents supreme Chicago-style badassery.

oi, ease up on the twins! small-market baseball is da bomb. don't hate on us just because you can't also partake of joe mauer's ass on a daily basis.

bucdaddy, my nostalgia is entirely from growing up in the late 80s/early 90s watching reruns of it on Nick at Nite (Nickelodeon's past prime time showings of reruns of 50s and 60s television). And my nostalgia isn't strong enough to get me to spend $10 on a movie ticket when I can wait a few months and add the DVD to my netflix queue. So I don't know why they made the movie. I suspect it is as you said, they can't let all those movie screens sit blank. And Hollywood powers-that-be have clearly decided it is either remakes of television shows, endless sequels, or yet another Mike Meyers or M. Night Shamalan (sp? too lazy to look up) debacle.

Liz, Wonder when we'll know they've scraped the bottom of the barrel? "Get Smart!" isn't it, I know that, cause I'm not saying it was a bad show, it wasn't, just ... where was the public demand to turn it into a movie 40 years later? Beats me. Guess the studio has a quota to fill.

The Rock won me over when he played "Drunk Girl"'s drunk girl friend on SNL.

bucdaddy, my guess would be that the bottom of the barrel will be reached the day we hear that the movie version of The Beverly Hillbillies 2.0 is in pre-production.

I've just made myself queasy thinking of possible casting choices....

Well, Max Baer Jr. is the right age to play Jed now, if that gives you a start. And, of course, Jessica Simpson IS Ellie Mae.

I've hogged two spots. Somebody else take a turn.

The film can be directed by Satan.

J Simp is good casting, but I'd like to suggest Britney too (with a decent wig and no frappucino).

For the grandparents...just off the top of my head, Clint Eastwood and Joan Rivers. I'm sure someone here can do better. Is the guy who played Matlock still alive?

I have to take issue with a couple things on your even-steven list: 1) the fray. sucks; 2) raisinettes are awesome and my first pick for movie theatre candy; and 3) as a condiment junkie, i can honestly say that sour cream does in fact make or break a burrito for me.

Is the guy who played Matlock still alive?

This means I'm old, right?

*sigh*

(yes, he is)

Jay, it's ok - I'm old too, that's why my memory is failing. I take back Clint Eastwood. It was very late when I typed that and he's too classy.

I enjoyed it. Not a lot, but I was in good company while watching it, so it made it better.

Good review. I was on the fence about seeing this, and now I have decided to go see it, but only if I'm bored.

Ryan the Temp had a field day with the writing of this script. Perhaps I was looking too hard for them, but if I'm not mistaken, this film was completely chock-full of Carrell culture winks and nudges, especially The Office and 40-Y-O V.

I don't believe I've ever heard the word "douche" out of the mouth of a middle-aged man, onscreen or off... I was chortling incredulously for a good quarter of an hour after the fact because of the sheer unexpectedness of it. It made me realize how ridiculous that insult is, too, because it means nothing. Imagine explaining it to a person with a first language other than English: "Wow, what a douche." "A what?" "A douche." "A... shower?" "No-well, yes-it's short for... never mind."

Just saw this last night and this review really is spot on. I laughed a bunch of times and left the theater smiling but it wasn't one of my favorite films ever, by any means. I also agree about The Rock (are we still allowed to call him that?). He's genuinely enjoyable on film. The cast completely saved this movie.