robert baratheon dadbod top pic.jpg

Ranking the Dadbods of 'Game of Thrones'

By Rebecca Pahle | Game of Thrones | May 12, 2015 |


robert baratheon dadbod top pic.jpg

It started like this*: I have a piece in drafts (technical CMS talk for you non-website types) called “Ranking the Bad Dads of ‘Game of Thrones.’” The other day, Courtney mentioned that she keeps seeing said title as “Ranking the Dad Bods of Game of Thrones,” because, in case you forgot, the dadbod phenomenon broke her.

Readers. I wish I could stop myself from doing what I’m about to do. But I really can’t.

PRESENTING YE OLDE OFFICIAL RANKING OF THE DADBODS OF GAME OF THRONES

10) Tywin Lannister

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Bottom of the list. Look at this. It’s not even a dadbod. Why are you here?

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9) The High Sparrow

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More like sadbod, amirite?

8) Sandor Clegane

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He’s going to have to eat every fucking chicken in this room, and he doesn’t care if it gives him a little paunch.

7) Drogon

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OK, but you can’t definitively say the dragon doesn’t have a dadbod.

6) Janos Slynt
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He was almost in the top five, but I hear he lost a few pounds recently. Hey-oooohhhhhh!

5) Mance Rayder

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It’s tough to make an assessment re: dadbod status under all that fur, but it’s CiarĂ¡n Hinds, so I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and put him in the top five.

4) Davos Seaworth

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So many grizzled white dudes with beards! Davos had seven sons before most of them bit it, so you know the dadbod situation is working for him.

3) Stannis Baratheon

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I’m biased.

2) Robert Baratheon

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It’s the OG season one dadbod, and you’d best not forget it.

1) Ser Pounce

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In case you were still harboring any doubts about whether this is intended to be a serious ranking of dadbods. This list goes out to my boy Kit Harington, who, as he is dadbodyless, will have to be objectified in another post.

*Explanation provided so no one will think I would seriously put together a dadbods ranking post without some sort of external influence.


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