Women, The | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

Lipstick on a Turd

The Women / Dustin Rowles

Film Reviews | September 12, 2008 | Comments (167)

I am in a pickle, ladies and gentlemen. One of those real Vlassic motherfuckers that you discover in the back of your fridge, pruned and shriveled by a three-year bath in some rank-ass vinegar. I am stuck between a rock and a saline implant. Damned if I do, fucked if I don’t. This is some real Joseph Heller shit here, folks.

See: Three weeks ago, this review would’ve been simple. I’d have suffered through two hours of chick-centered hideosity; I’d have come home; sat down; and puked up all the adjective, real and made-up, floating around in my swollen brain during the experience (words like, hideosity, for instance).

But the world has changed in three weeks. Suddenly, we’re not allowed to criticize women. We’re not even allowed to raise substantive questions about women. I mean, at first, I thought we in the media weren’t allowed to attack women personally, in which case I would’ve censored myself before commenting on the fact that Meg Ryan looks as though she swallowed a blowfish that exploded in her cheeks. I might have made mention of how rich it was that, in the movie, she actually had a few lines where her character poked fun at women with bad facelifts. But apparently, pointing out a woman’s hypocrisy is taboo — the right of a woman to make her own decisions, even ones that are bad for ~~the country~~ her face, is sacrosanct and not up for debate (except when it comes to abortion, of course. Women shouldn’t have a choice in that matter — we should only allow men in robes appointed by other men make those decisions). Or I might have said something about how the sight of Debra Messing makes my toenails retract, or that watching her attempt to act was like watching a random governor of a state with 13 people and a few caribou answer questions about foreign policy. Awkward and uncomfortable, to say the least.

But that stuff is off limits. And now I’m realizing that you can actually get in hot water for questioning a woman’s intelligence, or for questioning the content of her statements. And here I am stuck reviewing a movie called The Women. Where the fuck does that leave me? Obviously, if I call it like I see it, I’m going to be accused of being a sexist. You look over on Rotten Tomatoes right now, and you’ll notice that The Women only has a 10 percent approval rating. Why? Obviously, because 90 percent of movie critics are misogynistic pigs.

Oh shit, did I say pig? Sorry.

Fortunately, I do have an out. Not a big one, mind you. But I have an out. No no … it’s not that The Women is any damn good. Brother, please. It’s cinematic pus on the end of an ass pimple. No. It’s that, in this new world order of ours, where a woman should be shielded from questioning by male handlers and hidden away at all times (except to occasionally look pretty and deliver scripted speeches from a teleprompter), The Women actually jibes with how were supposed to view women in September of 2008 (hand it to the G.O.P., huh? Only a Republican could nominate a woman to be the second most powerful person in the United States and still set back women’s rights two decades). Because the women in The Women loooove to shop; they love handbags, and having babies, and wearing frilly things, and discussing their feelings over brightly colored alcoholic beverages. We live in a Sex and the City world now, folks. A woman can go out and do anything she wants, so long as we understand that all of her motivations actually driven by men.

Such is the case in The Women, a remake of a 1939 classic (I won’t mention that the original, directed by a man — George Cukor — was not only superior, but felt more modern; that might be perceived as a slight against women). Meg Ryan plays Mary Haines, mother, wife, and career girl. Her life, however, is turned topsy turvy when she discovers — while getting a manicure after doing some very PTA-ish things (nominate her!)— that her husband is having an affair. With the spritzer girl at Saks (Eva Mendes), of all people.

At first, she refuses to confront her husband about the adultery, choosing instead to play doormat to his boots in the hopes that the whole thing will blow over. The affair, however, prompts Mary to do a little self-reflection, which she does with the assistance of her three female friends, Sylvia (Annette Benning), an editor for a fashion magazine who ultimately would rather quit her job rather than screw over her sisterhood; Edie (Debra Messing), a woman who insists on having babies until she finally has a boy; and Alex (Jada Pinkett Smith), a sassy black lesbian (the filmmakers apparently decided that, as long as they were conforming to gender stereotypes, they may as well go ahead and conform to racial ones, too). Mary is also having some difficulty with her teenage daughter, who is upset because her mother is too solipsistic. [*Spoiler*] Eventually, however, Mary manages to work through her problems by designing dresses and, ultimately, taking back her philandering husband (female-centric comedies have to have happy endings, and a happy ending is impossible unless the man and woman get back together. Natch). [*End Spoiler*]

The conceit in The Women is that there aren’t actually any men in the movie — not a single one in a single frame (save for the obvious ending). The irony, however, is that you can feel the presence of a man off screen for most of the film (in fact, you feel like you know the man you don’t see even better than some of the women you do see), and — despite his absence — the plot revolves around him. The other irony is that the only women in the film that aren’t caricatures are the old-school ones (Cloris Leachman and Candace Bergman, both of whom could shit Palin bricks while applying their lipstick in the morning), who bring some occasional dimensionality to The Women and remind you of better times (say, August 2008).

But, please: I don’t want you to think that the gendered, 1950s humor in The Women, or the female stereotypes are a bad thing. The females in The Women are empowered, and by empowered, I mean completely self-involved, vapid, shallow, and unsympathetic, the sort of women who make Carrie Bradshaw look like Gloria fucking Steinem. But as a man, I feel I have a duty to protect the movie from criticism, because a woman should not be called upon to answer for herself. She should just stand there and look pretty. If it’s good enough for a vice-presidential nominee, it’s good enough for the cast and director of The Women.

Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba. He lives in Portland, Maine. You can reach him via email, or leave a comment below.

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Comments

This review made my day, I am priting and posting.

Posted by: Jessica Durham at September 12, 2008 4:02 PM

This review made my day, I am printing and posting it. You have said everything I feel about bad romantic comedies and the political climate, and you did it more eloquently that I can imagine!

Posted by: Jessica Durham at September 12, 2008 4:03 PM

Made my day.

Posted by: Joe at September 12, 2008 4:06 PM

I predict that this comment thread will have no more than ten posts, all of which will be civil and free of political discourse. I also predict that I will kick the game winning field goal during the Cowboy-Eagles game on Monday, spontaneously grow a tail, and one day change my name to Wilomena Von Spermreceptacle.

I am the prognosticator of prognosticators.

Posted by: Julie at September 12, 2008 4:07 PM

I see what you did there. It warmed my heart.

Posted by: Ciji at September 12, 2008 4:12 PM

What's the HTMLamabob for a slow clap, starting at the back of the auditorium, and slowly working it's way to the front rows, where every individual in attendance has tears of truth and joy streaming down their cheeks, and just as the applause is dying down, a fleet of jets fly overhead, dropping balloons filled with inspirational messages and baby doves, causing the applause to come crashing back in a deafening roar and individuals hoist their flag-waving offspring to their shoulders and Bruce Springsteen launches out of the stage, dressed head to toe in patriotism duds and rocks the goddamed roof off with some classic Foghat? Does anybody know that HTMLabob?

I owe you a hooker, Rowles!

[...oops, probably shouldn't have thrown that last part in there, huh?...]

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 12, 2008 4:13 PM

I'm sorry, I must have missed the review hidden in all that political grandstanding.

Posted by: Riddler at September 12, 2008 4:25 PM

I heart you, Dustin.

Posted by: Stella at September 12, 2008 4:26 PM

Love it.

Posted by: kelsy at September 12, 2008 4:28 PM

I hate the way women are protrayed today, both on film and TV. They all happen to work in the fashion industry (and it really is an industry now thanks to those selfish bitches who think 'accomplishment' is the name of Marc Jacobs' latest collection) and live in totally awesome lofts and are just soooooooo perfect and happy and they always look flawless, even on the weekends.

Here's what REALLY pisses me off: Since when has admitting loneliness and the need for closeness become a synonym of failure? We're all people, and we all need some kind of closeness, whether you're willing to admit it or not. Sometimes a man will fill that void, others a friend will do, or maybe your family is enough. It depends on who you are. But movies and TV are telling us that we don't need men, but we should definitely buy the new LV bag... so our man can see us with it when we have our happy ending.

And since when are women so nice to each other? Everybody knows that when you go out you wear your best threads to compete with the other women you're going to encounter. The competition is always present to some level. I don't see it anywhere.

Personally, I want the real bitches to return. Not the ones who got into catfights or spilled a drink on you at a party. I'm talking about the eloquent women who, without missing a beat, said things like:

Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it's because I'm not a bitch. Maybe that's why Miss Crawford always plays ladies - Bette Davis

That is mean and passive-agressive and oh-so golden. Bette Davis, Mae West, Joan Crawford, Katharine Hepburn... Debra Messing? No, I don't think so.

Okay, I'll shut up now.........

Posted by: Sofía at September 12, 2008 4:28 PM

What Women Want: Coen brothers review.

Posted by: L at September 12, 2008 4:32 PM

This is why I come here. Nicely done Dustin.

My response to movies like this is to point out a sentiment made by Spielberg a number of years back, something along the lines of why remake already good movies? Why not remake those bad movies that everyone agrees should have been good?

Posted by: Duane at September 12, 2008 4:35 PM

Now, I've only seen it the once but weren't the original film and script by Clare Booth Luce supposed to be taking the piss out of do-nothing socialite types? Is that not how the new version rolls? L.A.M.E.

Can I get the edited screener of just the scenes involving Candace Bergen and Cloris Leachman?

Posted by: Jen Vegas at September 12, 2008 4:35 PM

All women?

I already saw this movie. It was called The Descent and it scared the shit out of me.

If there aren't any men, who solves all the women's problems? These are the question that keep me up at night.

Posted by: Macafee at September 12, 2008 4:39 PM

Sofia, if I wasn't also a woman, I'd have your babies.

The trailer made me want to vomit and then kill everyone involved in the movie, except Candace Bergen and Cloris Leachman. This movie is what is wrong with the genres that cater to women and "women's issues", except that I don't seem to have the same kind of issues or inability to communicate that these women have.

Posted by: lostdwarf at September 12, 2008 4:43 PM

Riddler, sorry, there was a comment buried somewhere in an earlier comment thread that stated that the vast majority of Pajibans tend to be left-leaning...

Actually, left-leaning or not, I think that what happened is that most Pajibans' brains exploded sometime in the wee seconds after Palin's nomination was announced. It's kind of like what they're doing in Switzerland with the supercollider, except that instead of attempting to decipher what occured in the wee seconds after the Big Bang, we Pajibans are trying to figure out what the fuck is going to happen in a post-Palin world. It's inevitable that some of our brain bits will have splattered on the rest of our day to day lives, like the reviews that our dear Pajiba overlords put forth.

My comment makes no sense, but at least, in that, I share something with Palin's nomination, aside from the womb she thinks I have no right to control.

Posted by: Stella at September 12, 2008 4:43 PM

I was hoping that this would be an exact scene by scene remake of the original, complete with backstabbing, ankle biting and whoring around. The only thing I wanted to be different was the ending. When Norma Shearer runs back into Stephen's arms, at the last minute I wanted her to haul off and punch the prick right in the face (i.e. the camera).

Posted by: BWeaves at September 12, 2008 4:47 PM

Knew this one was not going to be any good, as most of the ensemble rom-coms these days. While I know that most of you hate Meg Ryan, I was sort of hoping that she would right the ship on her career. But, it seems as thought the captain of the Exxon Valdez is in command and has hit the liquor especially hard leaving her career as an oil spill against cinema.

While I like to keep politics out of my entertainment Dustin, you could have said the same things about Obama until Palin came on the scene.
Face it folks, we have four people that are on the national ticket and none of them are right for the job. I hope this is bottom of the valley on the political cycle, because we cannot go any lower. I would rather sit through a set of spoof movies versus voting for either of these tickets.

Posted by: richmac at September 12, 2008 4:49 PM

Can it just be tomorrow so I can forget about all this political crap and movie suckage to go to my beer festival?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at September 12, 2008 4:52 PM

Yeah, why do almost all ladies in the moving pictures have jobs in the goddam fashion industry, magazine industry, advertising industry, or have a quaint little bookstore/cafe/inn?

And could somebody please put together a commemorative quilt composed of cels from every goddam movie Meg Ryan's been in where she tilts her head like that, mouth slightly agape, and looking inquisitive? 'Cause brother, she does that in every movie.

Is Diane Keaton in this? That broad is the human equivalent of a turtle...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 12, 2008 4:52 PM

I saw the original movie on the big screen at the Olmos Theater in San Antonio, TX, in 1980. My friend and I loved that place, always feeling like young snobbish intellectuals while we watched such b&w classics as The Philadelphia Story and 12 Angry Men.

In the middle of the film they have a 3-4 minute fashion show filmed in glorious technicolor, which was novel for a movie of that period. I was totally unaware of this beforehand.

When those comforting shades of black and white and all shades of grey suddenly burst into color, I LOST MY SHIT! And not in a good way: the juxtaposition from b&w to those garish reds and yellows triggered a major panic attack that caused me to bolt out of that theater and rush to the nearest restroom to sit and shake uncontrollably for about 15 minutes before I very discreetly sneaked back in & watched the rest of the movie (which was not in color) from the back row.

I couldn't believe I had been affected by that so much, and I remember it to this day. It's weird how a phobia you never knew you had can smack the shit out of you when you least expect it. And it is a weird phobia, I admit, but what can I say?

I also thank the sweet Lord that I never got to see The Wizard of Oz under similar circumstances- that may very well have damaged me for life. I still hold my breath and wince whenever I see 'Oz' on TV at the moment it turns into color.

Yeah, I'm a strange one.

Posted by: TMax at September 12, 2008 4:55 PM

Richmac, recall Mencken's dictum about a "downright moron" running the country as democracy (which reflects the populace) reaches perfection. If the past eight years are any indication, the Postmoronic Era will be a time when we Pajibans will cavort naked under the leeringly gibbous moon, beseeching the Great Old Ones to wake up and turn half the planet's inhabitants into sentient sushi.

Posted by: The Wanderer at September 12, 2008 4:56 PM

as a seventeen year old young woman, it absolutely KILLS me that this is what hollywood wants me to expect from my future. a job in fashion, babies, SISTERHOOD, and a husband who inevitably has an affair, which is totally fine, because in the end it all works out and it gave me an excuse to discover who i REALLY am.

if the hills is fucking up my generations perception of how we should act NOW, the sex and the city genre is fucking up our expectations for what we should be in 30+ years.

pajiba seems like a good place to ask: am i wrong in assuming that SOMEWHERE, there are real women who do real things? legit jobs? actual, functioning relationships? please don't tell me my life is destined to mimic a meg ryan movie. PLEASE.

Posted by: em at September 12, 2008 5:29 PM

As a seventeen year old young woman, it absolutely KILLS me that this is what hollywood wants me to expect from my future. A job in fashion, babies, SISTERHOOD, and a husband who inevitably has an affair, giving me an excuse to finally discover who I REALLY am.

If The Hills is fucking up my generations perception of how we should act NOW, the "Sex and the City" genre is fucking up our expectations for what we should be in 30+ years.

pajiba seems like a good place to ask: am I wrong in assuming that SOMEWHERE, there are real women who do real things? Legit jobs? Actual, functioning relationships? Please don't tell me my life is destined to mimic a Meg Ryan movie. PLEASE.

Posted by: em at September 12, 2008 5:31 PM

I'm sorry, I just can't read this. I'm sure it's a great read, and I am even more sure that I agree with most, if not all, of your political points, but so much as thinking about Palin makes me want to cry and the puke. Great, now I'm thinking about her. excuse me while I run to the bathroom with the tears mixing with the bile as it all falls to the floor in a steady stream.

Posted by: the_wakeful at September 12, 2008 5:39 PM

Nailed it, Dustin. I heart you.

em, sweetie, it's gonna be OK. It's just the movies and TV, not real life. I repeat, it's not real life. Look for mentors in real life, not on the screen. Your life is actually yours to lead as you see fit.

Unless, of course, yet another simpleton full of hot air wins the upcoming election. In which case you're fucked. Sorry about that.

Posted by: susquehana at September 12, 2008 5:48 PM

This review gave me all the info I need about this stupid effing movie - Thank you Dustin! For whatever reason the Ottawa Citizen gave it three stars, which is what it also gave "Burn After Reading", so I'm hoping they're just totally loopy? Yeah, I think they are.
As a side note to people being pissed about women in movies having fashion jobs/etc... Is it terrible that I work in fitness research but I really would like a fashion job? I'm not saying I want to be someone's personal shopper or something; I just like to design and sew and would be happy to make a living out of that. And I don't empathize for one moment with some lipsticky-piggy-pitbull-anti-abortiony-douche-mom.

Posted by: b at September 12, 2008 5:56 PM

So. (related anecdote incoming)

At my collegiate-student-run-marketing-agency creative team meeting today we were talking about doing trailers for our movie-themed "Open House Gala!" to promote ourselves and some of our client work. Which led to talks of parodies. We talked about some really great action/thriller ideas, some drama ideas, some clearly hamming for an oscar ideas, and some animal comedy ideas (long story).

Anyway, what it boiled down to is that the guys are going to do the kick ass mafia/espionage trailer and the "girls" are going to do a sex and the city-esque parody where all we want to do is shop and drink.

Can I cry over that? Or would I be fulfilling a stereotype?

Posted by: Kayanne at September 12, 2008 5:56 PM

They all happen to work in the fashion industry

Lots of female protagonists in romantic first novels written by women seem to work in book publicity for some reason. I'm not saying it's self-defeating sexism, I'm just saying I'm bored to death with it.

I liked "Burn After Reading".

Posted by: Jay at September 12, 2008 6:04 PM

To em:

There are lots of real women in real jobs right here where I work (except when I'm reading this site, of course). Several of my attorney colleagues with no y chromosome (which I have) hold down demanding careers and successful relationships and families. All have problems; none resolve them like the idiots in the media.

If you are genuinely asking whether vapidity is a prerequisite for womanhood, the answer is a resounding NO. Put another way, in the form of advice like us old-timey bastards like to give (born in '69), so long as you give some serious thought to who you really are and what you would like to accomplish, and then act on the principles and goals you develop out of genuine self scrutiny then you will be just fine. Probably will do pretty well, in fact.

Incidentally, I lurk because I lack snarkiness, but please do keep up the good work. I love the reviews and murdertank/zombie/alcoholic bitchiness on these threads.

Posted by: lurking fogey at September 12, 2008 6:12 PM

Man, I hope Palin goes away as quickly as this movie. She really, really scares me. Her ignorance, her arrogance, her annoying voice (am i allowed to say "bitch pitch" without sounding as sexist as the people who attack this film?). She, that back country bumpkin, that person with no real qualifications whatsoever, could be the president of the united states if ol' Mccain dies. Terrifying.

Posted by: Kevin Longrie at September 12, 2008 6:27 PM

You had me at "Lipstick on a Turd."

Posted by: Elfrieda at September 12, 2008 6:38 PM

But are real life problems resolved while some pop song from 5-15 years ago plays in the background? The suspense is killing me. I need to know.

As for the political stuff...it isn't a surprise. Like this movie, it's all about getting people on your side and nothing else -- even if you then proceed to take a steaming crap on them.

Posted by: BFFredo at September 12, 2008 6:41 PM

Jada Pinkett as a solipsistic butch lesbian?

So they cast her as herself then.

Yeah, we KNOW who wears the cock in the Smith household.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 12, 2008 6:47 PM

oops ...sorry, make that "sassy, butch lesbian."

my bad

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 12, 2008 6:49 PM

Sassy black lesbians are the new flamboyant gay Hispanics.

Posted by: Just Kyle at September 12, 2008 7:03 PM

I usually make it a point to not attack the ladies unless I think they are not making positive additions to our public discourse. I'm all for a broad or two doing the best they can to improve their condition in this wilderness. But when I see more than one broad not holding up their end, I think it is my duty to correct their actions, not unlike a pimp, and not with a shoe but with a kind word and with positive affirmations. Which brings me to my take on " The Women," I would hate for any of you broads here at pajiba to turn out like these ladies. Trust me I know it's tough out there, I know that a women's self esteem is a fragile thing that can be crushed like a grape under the weight of unmet expectations. I've spent considerable time trying to build a bitch up, I'll be damned if I let a motherfucker bring her shit down. I think this movie is a affront to a bitch that's trying to keep her shit right and intact. Moreover, I'm impressed that like I, Dustin has the eye of the tiger when it comes the ways of the ladies. I could understand if some young bitches made a movie this fucked up, but there is over one hundred years of cunt life in the stars of this movie, if them bitches were under my collar they would know damn well how to handle shit. Which dovetails into Palin and that shit she said about them Russians, listen, I'm all of a broad speaking her mind. But I could tell from that comment that McCain didn't put his game down and put Palin in pocket from jump off. And now because he didn't, she out there saying all kinds of crazy shit, making him look like he can't handle his business.

Posted by: Pookie at September 12, 2008 7:06 PM

Just Kyle, I think your homophobic and racial attacks are uncalled for.

Posted by: Pookie at September 12, 2008 7:12 PM

That review tickles me in a way that if Wilomena Von Spermreceptacle tickled me in that way I'd say...."oh yeah, that's nice...that's the spot".

I said what I had to say about The Women earlier this week (#7 in your Top Ten Comments of the week, but #1 in your hearts) so I don't feel I need to say anything else on my end. Besides, what Dustin says blows away whatever I said. That is why he is the professional and I'm just some righteously handsome dude who is quick with a joke and a light of your smoke. Wait, that's the guy in Piano Man. Whatever.

And now I bow down to the greatness that is you, Dustin.

Posted by: Rubble44 at September 12, 2008 7:27 PM

Of course, when a kind word won't curb undesirable female behavior, there's always the more "hands on" approach,

Let us Pray the Pimp's Prayer:

Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch and guide my pimp hand and make it strong Lord, so that she might learn a hoe's place.

Amen

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 12, 2008 7:28 PM

BSlim you're putting words in my mouth.

Posted by: Pookie at September 12, 2008 7:40 PM

I patiently await the day that Pajiba's reviewers learn how to flip past the "defecate and/or fecal matter metaphors" page of their impressively limited thesauri.

Posted by: Brett at September 12, 2008 7:42 PM

[read's Pookie's comment]
[puts on Gabby Johnson hat and jumps up]

"Rer'rund!"

Posted by: lordhelmet at September 12, 2008 7:43 PM

Thanks for the review,
Now delete out every use of the word "Women" and replace with "Blacks"

Posted by: Chuck at September 12, 2008 7:57 PM

Just asking, but how much foreign policy experience did Gov. Clinton have before he because president? (Oh wait, partying at Oxford ... nevermind!). Or Gov. Reagan? (Oh, wait, I'm sure he was in some movie set in another country ... nevermind!) Or Gov. Bush? (Oh wait, he probably met a Mexican once ... nevermind!). Or Gov. Carter? (Oh wait, he probably met a migrant worker in the peanut fields once ... nevermind!). Or Sen. Clinton? (Oh wait, she dodged sniper fire on the tarmac in Bosnia ... nevermind!)

Sens/ Kerry and McCain are excused for obvious reasons. Nevertheless ...

Bob Barr '08

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 12, 2008 7:58 PM

"because president"

BECAME president. See there? You got me all in a lather.

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 12, 2008 7:59 PM

Brett,

Go shit in your hat

Regards

Posted by: Rubble44 at September 12, 2008 8:01 PM

Brett,

Go shit in your hat

Regards

Posted by: Rubble44 at September 12, 2008 8:01 PM

I know I should not be laughing at pookie's suggestion that McCain is Palin's pimp. No, that would be wrong of me. As a woman, I should be offended.

But can't you just see him with a purple velvet hat with a feather in it? Kinda like Katt Williams? Or maybe Snoop Dogg. He did send her out there to make that money.

Posted by: greer at September 12, 2008 8:01 PM

BSlim I do not advocate corporal punishment, nor do I condone what you describe as the "hands on" approach to achieve a desirable outcome. Now with that in mind, there are certain "avenues" at my disposal that are available, although which I rarely have had to use that have been proven to be quite successful. I liken myself to Professor Kingsfield, first and foremost I'm an educator. They come to me with minds full of mush, and they leave thinking like business people.

Posted by: Pookie at September 12, 2008 8:02 PM

Pookie, you lost me at "attack the ladies"

Posted by: Just Kyle at September 12, 2008 8:34 PM

I'm confused now...
Who is the lipstick and who is the turd?

Posted by: amobogio at September 12, 2008 9:03 PM

And now because he didn't, she out there saying all kinds of crazy shit, making him look like he can't handle his business.

I hate to break it to you, but he can't handle his business. Maybe it's because of his age, maybe because he decided he wanted so much to be President that he'd pander to conservatives, maybe he got fucked in the head in prison. Whatever the case, Palin is her own special brand of lunacy, set out to complement McCain.

There are still a few good chicks out there boys.

Posted by: Cindy at September 12, 2008 9:04 PM

Pookie

Your brilliance is simply staggering- it comes out of the blue, as always, with such clarity and insight that I'm sure even the most jaded Pajibans have blown their wads over more than a few of your other ground-breaking observations and true understanding of the elusive, female mystique - you can see into souls, can't you?

After your 7:06pm, and most recent ones, I'm envious and not alone in realizing your comments have become quite the accepted 'shift of power' from all of us other lowly, unworthy males: There cannot be a female on this site who doesn't want to fuck you 3 ways from Sunday this very moment, after such seductive, compelling commentary, cleverly dispensed as such that you almost had me wanting to turn the corner for you.

Instead, I, and such love-meisters like Skit, Shadows, Minimus, helmet, et al, despise you and your charming discourse and will band together to expose your true, womanizing ways.

Let him savor his victory tonight, fellas. Tomorrow we begin the counter-attack, and re-claim all the lovely, wonderful Pajiba Ladies that we all look forward to hearing from every single day. They're a flighty bunch, and I'm sure they can be easily swayed back towards our ultimate numbers alone.

Nice try, and excellent approach, Mr. Pookie- I compliment your ingenuity, and to paraphrase our magnificent president: "..Fool us twice, and.. * long, embarrassing pause*.. uh, well, you won't fool us twice."

Game ON, Bucko!

Posted by: TMax at September 12, 2008 9:07 PM

It is strange that so many women in movies work in the fashion industry--an industry which is overwhelmingly male dominated. Most of the women I've met in real life are doctors (my local ER and clinic are chockablock with female doctors) and scientists (last two jobs I had the women with science degrees vastly outnumbered the men) with the occasional artist thrown in. If anything, most of the flighty superficial people I know are young men in their early 20s. Why doesn't Hollywood make comedies about gangs of superficial label-obsessed alcohol-swilling boys obsessing over relationships who suddenly grow up when they hit 30 and dramas about smart cool women solving big problems? That would be a better reflection of reality.

Posted by: lurkey at September 12, 2008 9:16 PM

I've already got six months of appointments with AvB, thanks. You guys can duke it out with Pookie for the rest. I want no part of him. I know when I've been licked.

Er ...

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 12, 2008 9:19 PM

What the fuck? Since when am I, as a person in possession of both ovaries and fallopian tubes, supposed to allow this movie to speak for me? "The Women"? I am a woman. These women are not at all like me. I do not resemble these miserable, pitiful wastes of celluloid and I am insulted by the idea that they are supposed to represent me. So fuck it. I'm pissed as fuck and I'm not going to take it any more. No more lurking or passive complaining.

I'm going to get out my cheap-ass notebook paper and collection of awesome sharpies, and I'm gonna cause some hell at the nearest motherfucker that tries to show this shit. I will cover the posters with signs saying "Bitches, you're not like me!" and draw penises on their mouths. I'll sneak into movie theaters and change the showing times board. I'll violate every dvd cover that I can find. I mean guerrilla warfare.

And I'm not going to stop until somebody acquiesces to my demands.

My demands: I want a script written about actual women that I want representing me. I want this to be called "Actual Women."
It will be about fictional characters banding up and righting wrongs and living their lives, kickass-style. The core of 4 women will have a character from television, cinema, animation, and a lesbian/bisexual. They will be assisted and occasionally mentored by awesome 2 real-life women.
These women will be: Maude (of Harold and Maude), Irina Derevko (of Alias), Marji Satrapi (of Persepolis) and Toshiko Sato (of Torchwood). They will be assisted by Katharine Hepburn and Pam Grier.

There is also a backup team, consisting of: Eleanor Iselin (of The Manchurian Candidate, the original one), Zoe Washbourne (of Firefly), Daria (of Daria) and Tara Maclay (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Assisted by Gilda Radner and Sarah Jane Smith. (You think she's fictional? Fuck you with something hard and sandpapery.)

Bonus points for Laura Roslin as President with CJ Cregg as her VP.
Extra bonus points for the actual women beating the characters in "The Women" to a bloody, whimpering pulp.

There will be no tampon jokes. There will be no jokes where chocolate tames the rabid beast of PMS. There will be no scantily-dressed slumber parties. And there will be no male-bashing. This movie will be too classy to do that. And anybody that tries to fuck with anybody else's agency gets Irina Derevko's red stiletto up the ass.

I'm too pissed to keep lurking. Any suggestions for additions to the team of actual women? Any Pajibans want to help me with the guerrilla warfare?

Posted by: robot cookie at September 12, 2008 9:26 PM

McCain as a pimp? No purple hat, kids. If McCain were a Pimp he'd be pimping it old school. The man wants the constitution to be just the way it was when it was first written, so it's only natural for His Pimpness to emulate George Washington.

Let me guide you through this mental image - that will soon become a reality: McCain in that white wig (very similar to some of Snoop Dogg's dos), but instead of that stern look you see on Washington you see a twinkle. A slight sneer, too, which reveals the gold fang. Its brightness is blinding, particularly that incrusted zapphire elephant with ruby details. McCain's hands over his head. Gang signs, bitches.

That's pimping it old school. Who said republicans weren't fly?

Posted by: Sofía at September 12, 2008 9:34 PM

I strongly suggest you get more about this news from the hot interracial dating club for blacks&whites named'### interracialconnect com'

Posted by: y at September 12, 2008 9:37 PM

Thank God 'y' has chimed in to help distract us from Sophia's political ramblings.

(that was a joke, you wonderful lady)

Damn, I can't seem to stop posting tonight

Posted by: TMax at September 12, 2008 9:45 PM

I have three questions?

Does Gloria Steinem have a vagina?
and
Would this commentary be posted if a Democratic nominee had a vagina?
and
Doesn't Joe Biden look like the plantation master while standing next to Barack Hussein Obama?

Posted by: Chuck at September 12, 2008 9:54 PM

Games? Must we?

Posted by: Jay at September 12, 2008 9:57 PM

Looks like the Murdertank has another rider.

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 12, 2008 10:04 PM

TMax, on a deep level I know what women want. You can not begin to understand women if you do not understand yourself. I present myself as a blank canvass to women so that they can make their needs and desires known to me clearly. Then and only then can I go about my business of fulfilling those needs and desires. In man's absurd and endless race to give his lady the biggest and shiniest gift I do the opposite, I love giving my dates the simplest gifts I can think of. I do not believe in giving women flowers, flowers are so common. I met this lady once and we started dating, when her birthday came up guess what I gave her? I gave her a year's subscription for Women today magazine, she loved it. So whenever she picked up or looked at that magazine, she thought of Pookie. Pookie was in the house without actually being in the house. And another thing I would do before I would go on a date is jerk off, so she couldn't see the poon hound look in my eyes. And one more thing when dating , never, ever, ever, talk about sex. Let her bring it up, and when she does act shy and quickly change the subject, I call that my Venus Flytrap technique. Come back tomorrow son, and I'll tell you how to get her and her friend into bed.

Posted by: Pookie at September 12, 2008 10:41 PM

Really bummed with Pajiba right now. Visited earlier this week and bounced after a minor political flame thing in the comments for one of the movie reviews. Bounced again after a political thing in Pajiba Love for that day. Happy with the review for Burn after reading, and then I run into more political BS for this review. I don't come here for politics! I already have too much in my regular diet thanks.

Posted by: Blah D Blah at September 12, 2008 10:54 PM

"except when it comes to abortion, of course. Women shouldn't have a choice in that matter -- we should only allow men in robes appointed by other men make those decisions"
Great one.

Posted by: Arthur Dent at September 12, 2008 10:55 PM

Sorry that you're so bummed Blah D Blah, maybe you should go to www.whogivesafuck.com, turn that frown upside down my friend.

Posted by: Pookie at September 12, 2008 11:02 PM

Mr. Pookie

I was obviously in sarcasm overload on my last comment, and knew you'd take it as just that; however, please accept my apology for trying to mine a laugh over your earlier posts.

And thank you for some real insight: that is so cool to give a lady a magazine subscription as a present, for the very reason you described. Fuck flowers, they're a momentary cry for acknowledgement and they then immediately proceed to die, along with one's chances of actually impressing his lady of choice for a very brief moment in time that will vanish more quickly than Britney's cellulite right before the VMA's.. and I've posted enough for one night, hell, for one week longer than most readers can stomach my meanderings. So blame me for just happening to have a very good day today and typing like a maniac on this wonderful site.

Thanks again, Pookie, and I award ALL of you the pleasure of not having to read another single post from me for this entire weekend and, if I'm feeling generous, maybe a couple of the following weekdays as well.

Adios, Muchachos, Muchachas!

Posted by: TMax at September 12, 2008 11:16 PM

despise you and your charming discourse and will band together to expose your true, womanizing ways.

Whoa TMax, hold up a moment. I don't despise anyone here, Pookie included. True I tried to rip him a new one a ways back, but that's how I deal with prolonged asshattery. I can never predict what he's going to write next, sometimes it amuses me, sometimes I agree with it. Today, I call him Pookie Johnson and rejoice in his delightful urban frontier gibberish! And agree with him when he makes sense!

Posted by: lordhelmet at September 12, 2008 11:20 PM

I could actually envision that Sofia.

Posted by: Cindy at September 12, 2008 11:29 PM

Thanks for the compliment lordhelmet, one can never be accused of speaking urban gibberish enough. Is urban gibberish like speaking in tongues, like Max Cady did in "Cape Fear" as he was drowning?

Posted by: Pookie at September 12, 2008 11:59 PM

am I wrong in assuming that SOMEWHERE, there are real women who do real things? Legit jobs? Actual, functioning relationships?

Dear em,

I am 37 years old. For the last ~10 years, I have held 2 bookkeeping jobs; I was at one for about 9 years and recently started a new one, working for an agency that runs group homes and programs for the developmentally disabled. I feel good about my job, and I work hard at it. Sometimes it's difficult, and I welcome the challenges and the opportunity to use my brain rather than whining about them; sometimes, when life is very difficult, which happens, I talk to my girlfriends, my boy-friends, and my pseudo-husband, because sometimes, you just need to talk it out with friends, and that's ok.

I have been in a stable, monogamous relationship for over 13 years with my pseudo-husband. I say "pseudo" because I do not believe in marriage (for ME) and choose to live with him without succumbing to pressure from family OR society to get married. I do not have any children, because I do not want any children. I love my nieces and nephew, and my 2 sisters' husbands and my brother's wife.

I recently purchased the first new car I have ever owned in my life. 4 years ago, I decided that I wanted to go to college, and so I have. I recently took my Associate's degree, and will be transferring to a 4-year school in the spring to continue on to my Bachelor's. I will be double majoring in English and Communications.

What I am trying to tell you, dear em, is that yes, real women exist, and have real jobs that don't get handed to us and that are hard sometimes; we have good relationships, but are capable of existing independent of a man; don't have to do anything, but can do anything we set our minds to and work to acheive, without coming from a wealthy background. I am living proof, and I am happy.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 13, 2008 12:55 AM

Anna,
Your post has confirmed my initial suspiciouns that you are, indeed, awesome.

Posted by: Sofía at September 13, 2008 1:05 AM

Mr/Ms Rubble44 --

Defecate in my hat? No! Of all the witty retorts and cutting comments that could have been made to deflate and insult me, that you picked one so cruel, so vicious, so reflective of the towering intellect at your command -- the one that would lay waste to my ability to respond and make me painfully aware of the emptiness and hollowness of not only my comment, but my entire life! And then, as though the bitter penknife of your derision was not enough, you repeated it in the exact same words!

Words fail me in describing how wounded I am, how low I have been brought -- and yet, even while I tremble in fear at what scathing depths of disdain you will doubtless dredge to put me again in my place in response to this very lament, I confess I am also...anticipating. To be the subject of the mind represented by such scorn, though it will be bitter and damning, will be an honor whose dimensions I cannot describe.

Posted by: Brett at September 13, 2008 1:27 AM

Oh, Sofia, you beautiful woman you, thank you for the compliment; but I must tell you, I am no more awesome than you are.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 13, 2008 1:36 AM

Brett

Just so long as you've admitted defeat in your feeble flame war, we take that as an honorable offering of apology for your obviously mis-guided POV.

You're excused now, go and play outside.

Posted by: Yeah, Right at September 13, 2008 2:17 AM

A toast, a toast I say, to Anna von Beaverplatz, a beacon of hope for the younger women of today! [hoists then chins his glass of tap water]

Is urban gibberish like speaking in tongues

No Pookie, it's a deep expression of self independent of the need for words or even language...waitaminnit...no, I said urban frontier gibberish, which is more about using local slang semi-intelligibly in conveying your meaning. Urban gibberish is different, and I'd say has been honed into an art form by the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Posted by: lordhelmet at September 13, 2008 2:28 AM

I really meant it, Anna. And not just because you owned your words and clearly proved that you're confident about your life choices, but because you were respectful to what other people might consider 'the right path to take' even if their description didn't match yours. That shows how classy and intelligent you are, because there are very few people who acknowledge the fact that beauty and meaning can also be found in differences.

I'll stop kissing your ass now 'cause I could go on and on...

Posted by: Sofía at September 13, 2008 2:47 AM

Oh shit! According to Pajiba and its commentators I am not a real woman! I am a married, mother-of-one who has put her career (in advertising) on hold until I decide it's the right time to return to paid employment. Seriously, what was I thinking, having a baby? What an embarrassingly non-intellectual right wing thing to do! And then to choose to take care of my child full time! I must be a fucking idiot! Completely worthless to society! Not to mention my career in advertising where I made you think you just 'knew' which sunglasses or trainers earned the most ironic hipster points because you're just so naturally edgy. Clearly I need to make more of an effort to assimilate to the Pajiba ideals: beginning with improving my patronizing smug wanker skills. I mean, I probably dress the same and share the same political views and level of education as many of you, but sadly that doesn't count, because I'm not real, and obviously not welcome here.

Which doesn't really matter because I have to dash or else I'll miss what happens in According to Jim.

Posted by: sino vos feteo turd furtificus at September 13, 2008 5:01 AM

"... I probably dress the same and share the same political views and level of education as many of you, but sadly that doesn't count, because I'm not real, and obviously not welcome here.

Which doesn't really matter because I have to dash or else I'll miss what happens in According to Jim.

Posted by: sino vos feteo turd furtificus at September 13, 2008 5:01 AM..."

Awwwww that's a shame, but no matter, I don't know how we'll do it, but SOMEHOW, we'll pull ourselves together and TRY to manage without you, Turd Furtificus.

*turns so as not to be seen crying*

*bites knuckles*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 13, 2008 6:15 AM

It sucks to be you, sad sad misogynistic pig.

Posted by: M at September 13, 2008 7:25 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHA no, not really.

Not even a little bit.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 13, 2008 7:32 AM

Exactly the sort of tiring, unfunny and obnoxious response one would expect from you Mr Slim. You must find it such a treat having the forum to get your own back on all those nasty bullies who made you feel excluded during school. Now you're part of the *popular* group you can make others feel as small and insignificant as you used to. Wow! That's really clever!

But just so you know, if this were face to face, your horn-rimmed glasses would be smashed into little pieces and sticking out from your bleeding obnoxious eyeballs right now.

Posted by: sino vos feteo turd furtificus at September 13, 2008 8:43 AM

Ooooh, then that's too bad, you won't get to punch me, feel free to take it out on your kids. Which I imagine you do, frequently, since you can barely contain your anger at some internet douche with a name ripped off from Futurama.

I bet you're getting angrier, as you read this.

*Muah*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 13, 2008 8:49 AM

Take note amateurs. this is what real trollin's all about, making them angry.

Threats of physical harm are A, actual death threats...A+.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 13, 2008 8:52 AM

No, I'm not getting angrier, I'm just starting to feel sorry for you, that's all. Sad, lonely little man.

Posted by: sino vos feteo turd furtificus at September 13, 2008 9:20 AM

There are often tells. Here it's the invocation of horn rims and "two" commenters using the same diction, in this case "sad". Innocence/humorous intent may be feigned next if we were to go by the book.

Posted by: Jay at September 13, 2008 9:39 AM

See, this is why women shouldn't have the right to vote.

Posted by: Lucas at September 13, 2008 9:48 AM

Notes:

As the victim or "jive sucka" realizes how utterly involved she/he has become in a pointless exercise, several insulting/belittling posts/stetments will be made in sterile attempt to retain last shreds of dignity.
In some cases, subject will sometimes resort to alcohol and/or tantrums.

Will keep posted.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 13, 2008 10:03 AM

I'm off to play Lego with my kid.

Posted by: sino vos feteo turd furtificus at September 13, 2008 10:17 AM

Sofia, you make me blush! See, these are exactly the reasons I love to read your comments, because of your intelligence and class. And I don't even mean the one where you were "kissing my ass". Although that one was good too. Heh. Your respect for other peoples' choices and differences shines through loud and clear. And then, there's your jasmine-scented Special Valley.... Are we twins, separated at birth by half (or maybe, like, 3/4 of) a continent and 14 years? That Optimus better watch out, I might just steal you away! I mean, if we're not twins, cause that would be incest. And that would be wrong.

Oh, and sino..., nobody here is pointing at you and saying you're not a real woman. We're bemoaning the lack of representation of real women in films such as this one (well, I assume this one, as I haven't seen it). Rare is the woman in a film who cannot be disseminated from the minute her character steps into frame, and rarer still is the woman in film whose life is not defined by certain characteristics, i.e. men, babies, and shiny pretty things. It doesn't mean real women don't like some or all of these things sometimes; it just means that female characters in films are coded in a particular way which makes those of us that don't see those items as the be-all and end-all of our lives are made to feel somehow inferior. The filmmakers here had an opportunity to make female characters into real, breathing people, whatever their jobs or marital or parental status, and apparently, they chose to stick to those old codes. Do you feel represented by these characters? Not specifically the women characters in this movie, but in movies in general?
P.S. You said turd burglar. In Latin. Hee.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 13, 2008 10:55 AM

I wasn't talking about you, BarbadoSlim. You are a narcissistic idiot. Get a freaking life. I was talking about the sad sad misogynist that wrote the review.

Posted by: M at September 13, 2008 11:25 AM

@Anna von Beaverplatz

So men can relate to every single male character on TV while women cannot relate to a single female character on TV. This is because individuals don't exist to you. Genders do. It is inconceivable for a person to relate to the experiences of another human being unless they share reproductive organs. Please.

Anyway, the gender you think you represent must win. Please post actual percentages of "representative" male/female characters out there...

Posted by: Sure, sure at September 13, 2008 11:39 AM

I was talking about the sad sad misogynist that wrote the review.

So you're playing along with Dustin's joke then. All the hullabaloo and all the noise.

Posted by: Jay at September 13, 2008 12:15 PM

Um, who brought men into it? I don't often see men who aren't collections of stereotypical tics either. We're talking about a film about women. Part of the conceit of the film (as in the original form 1939) is that not one single man shows up on the screen.

This is because individuals don't exist to you. Genders do. It is inconceivable for a person to relate to the experiences of another human being unless they share reproductive organs.

Yep, you got me. Nailed me to a tee. That's exactly what I think, because I am nothing more than what you've decided I am.

Please post actual percentages of "representative" male/female characters out there...

2.7%.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 13, 2008 12:18 PM

I hear a lot of women commenting, but I have yet to receive my sandwich.

Posted by: Pookie at September 13, 2008 1:18 PM

Please post actual percentages of "representative" male/female characters out there...

2.7%.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 13, 2008 12:18 PM

*SNORT*, ohmy that cracked me up! I just love you Anna vB!

I also want to be you when I grow up. I'm a year older than you though, so I'm not sure how that works...

Posted by: Lainey at September 13, 2008 1:30 PM

I wasn't talking about you, BarbadoSlim. You are a narcissistic idiot. Get a freaking life. I was talking about the sad sad misogynist that wrote the review.

Posted by: M at September 13, 2008 11:25 AM

-------------------------------------------------
Suuuuuuuuuuuure you were..
If I weren't positive you are a raging closeted lesbian, I'd swear you were coming on to me.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 13, 2008 1:37 PM

I like what you say Anna. Admittedly I get a bit *a lot* defensive on the subject of breeding and the associated stereotype that I suddenly found myself slotted into when I made the decision to stay at home with my child. It's not just a loss of income, but a loss of respect from peers and colleagues and a loss of identity. I have gone from a hard working and social 'career person', to someone who spends their day drinking imaginary cups of tea and making animal noises. And it's bloody marvelous. I just wish that it commanded a little respect that's all. Porro ago turd furtificus!

Posted by: sino vos feteo turd furtificus at September 13, 2008 1:38 PM

I was going to post a relevant, well-thought out argument addressing my confusion at Dustin always getting his feminist on over standard-issue romcoms. Instead, I have merely decided that I have no more interest in visiting Pajiba to read Dustin preaching to his sycophantic commenting public under the guise of reviewing film.

By all means, continue jerking one another off.

Posted by: Riddler at September 13, 2008 1:57 PM

Riddler, I agree. It's all starting to sound the same.

Posted by: raukman at September 13, 2008 2:10 PM

I love imaginary tea! I just had some last weekend with my niece. She's 4 & 1/2, and had her first day of pre-school last week. So cute in her little uniform!
Sadly, you lost me with "Porro ago"... "long live the turd burglar"? I never had the opportunity to study Latin. I found a pretty decent translator online, but it's pretty limited.

Thanks, Lainey... I want to be a lot of people when I grow up, many of whom are younger than me. Let me know if you figure it out, will ya?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 13, 2008 2:31 PM

I want to slap all the actresses in this insult to the female gender for having gone anywhere near it. As a woman, who is happy, with a successful job (that's NOT in the fashion industry! how did THAT happen?!) I feel I have every right to bitchslap these morons and ask them all how they could sell out to this garbage.

There's a musical montage in this turd, isn't there? That token scene of all empowering chick flicks where the women dance around a table drinking wine because they are so FREE and happy, secure in their shitty fashion jobs. Of course right after they go and have a cry about how they don't have a man or babies, so that we're reminded that they're not completely happy and never will be unless they have a man.

Fuck everyone involved in this movie. And shame on you, Annette Benning. I'm completely embarrassed for you. Grr.

Posted by: figgylicious at September 13, 2008 2:33 PM

Then by all means Riddler and Raukman, since this IS America and you folks haven't gotten around to rounding ALL of us up for interrogation and (intense treatment *wink* wink* ) feel free to find yourselves a site where they ALL think like you, and would have "intelligent design advocates" and chickenhawks send poor white/hispanics/blacks to fight your dirty little oil wars run the motherfucking country.
Then you can be around sycopantism YOU enjoy.

It's a big internet, douchebags and I hear Michella Malkin is looking for traffic in her site.

---------------------------------->
anncoulter.com

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 13, 2008 2:38 PM

Well I suppose I lied, but the problem here is that you DO mostly think a like (not all of course). The closeminded attitude is stifling. If the adherence to a certain liberal value set weren't so militant I wouldn't care. However, as Raukman said, it's always the same thing.

Any job in fashion is shitty, women with an interest in fashion are shallow drunks, stay at home mothers are repressed Republican puppets, blah blah blah blah blah

This site is just as repressive as everything it rails against. To be good people here you just have to be a hard-drinking (natch), sexually promiscuous, vocally left-leaning bastard who's creative with vulgarity.

Not very encouraging to intellectual diversity. I'm sure now I will be accused of being a Palin-supporting, gun-toting, Republican hillbilly.

Posted by: Riddler at September 13, 2008 3:24 PM

Bah! I'm gonna put this in no uncertain terms:

You wanna vote for some hokey mom and some "straight talker" who's "just like you" who wants to send your kids to Buttholeliztan for the next 50 years FIIIIIIINE WITH ME, it won't affect my tax-bracket and I don't have kids; you wanna keep bleeding for oil (you know you are just sending our best and brightest hopes for the future to get killed while real threats like China are just sitting back RIGHT) that keeps rising in price FIIIINE with me I COMMUTE on a fucking Saleen Mustang I can pay for the gas, you want a Wal-Marter "mom" telling your raped daughter she's got no choice but to carry full term FIIIINE with me.

But don't play the victims, you motherfuckers have been running the show, and when the next generation inherit the GIGANTIC PILE OF SHIT this country is becoming I'm glad I'll be dead.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 13, 2008 3:37 PM

I meant:

*hockey

Although "hokey" is just as good.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 13, 2008 3:43 PM

Sino,
I would never say you don't exist because you describe a great majority of the real women out there.

My dad has worked all his life and my mom started her career when I was born. I have no doubt it was a tough decision for her, but hey, we were 6 kids back then (and my little sister was born shortly after) and it was necessary. I'm trying to say I know working moms because I was raised by one. She's as real and wonderful as they get. But we're talking about choices as well. Anna chose one thing for her life, you chose another. And it's great to know that we have options.

I think women are offended with how we're portrayed in movies and TV because men are protrayed so very differently. Look at action movies (EVERY man on Earth worships Bruce Willis and likes to think they're just like him) or romantic comedies (the woman is a control freak, the man is the funny abused guy with all the best lines of dialogue) or TV. Male characteres are infinitely more "cool" and appealing than the female ones. They're flawed but written funnier, so it makes it easier for them to relate to.

I honestly think one of the best and most representative female characters was Elaine Bennes from Seinfeld. She had flaws, sometimes she apologized for them, and she could make you laugh.

Because Godtopus forgive if a woman EVER has a funny line.

And Juno doesn't count.

Posted by: Sofía at September 13, 2008 3:47 PM

Yes, Could we please keep to tearing apart
shit ass movies, acted by worn out by no-talent hacks, and not put in political opinions about everything?

Posted by: Chuck at September 13, 2008 3:50 PM

Sigh.

Item 1: Pookie, if I weren't already married to the best man in the world I would be stalking you right now.

Item 2: The trolls wouldn't bother me so much if they'd just stay at least a hair's width inside of reality. We have people going off over things in the review that aren't in the review. We have people saying that disliking female stereotypes is some kind of slur against Sarah Your-Womb-Is-Government-Property Palin.
Trolls, if you're going to troll on Pajiba, you are going to have to elevate your game.

Item 3: I am pretty sure I recognize TMax as an obnoxotard I knew from another forum. As BSlim pointed out, there are certain "tells" that give a person away.
Ladies, do NOT fall for the asskissing smarm, and whatever you do, DON'T give him ANY clues that might help him locate your meatspace habitations.

Posted by: Jerce at September 13, 2008 3:50 PM

Hey Jerce,
Your womb is government property, along with your health insurance, education, energy production, employment, retirement, and whatever other socialist agenda is out there.
You already have a number cataloging you as one of the herd right? Why not your vagina as well?

Posted by: Chuck at September 13, 2008 3:53 PM

Mmmm

Last I read except for minimal health care for seniors (medicare) and the poor (medicaid) there is no "government health insurance in the USA, I know I have to pay for mine the government don't give me JACK-SHIT we must have some weak assed socialists, Where's MY free "socialist" health care?
Are we really gonna dismantle the public education system? You want STUPIDER people out there? Go ahead, and good luck with what you end up with.
As far as the lame "socialist retirement" goes... really?!!?!?! I thought people paid for social security and then that's put into a trust that then gets returned to you, unless of course, some Republican uses it to pay for a war to make the oil companies richer.
Is that socialism? Lemme check...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 13, 2008 4:09 PM

I didn't come here to tear apart shit-ass movies. I came here to fuck John Stamos.

Posted by: Cloris Leachman at September 13, 2008 4:13 PM

Elaine! LOVE HER. She is the Femtapus I worship. I'm trying to recall some other positive examples, but it's a struggle. Um, nope, nothing.

In regards to Palin, I live in New Zealand and must say that I'm scared for you guys, I really am. So much so that I donated a few worthless NZ dollars to OB's campaign. Good luck guys.

Posted by: sino vos feteo turd furtificus at September 13, 2008 4:40 PM

*and girls*

Posted by: sino vos feteo turd furtificus at September 13, 2008 4:41 PM

To be good people here you just have to be a hard-drinking (natch), sexually promiscuous, vocally left-leaning bastard who's creative with vulgarity.

OH MY GOD, THAT is SO me!! It's like Riddler can see into my soul.

Posted by: jamiepants at September 13, 2008 5:14 PM

You know what just came to me? Fuck that noise of Tina Fey doing Palin on Saturday Night Live (and I've already vainly tried to put out the fires of there being any kind of resemblance already, flattering Palin and insulting Fey), I want to see Catherine O'Hara in this role if anybody. Particularly her "Best In Show" character. "I have met some shifty, shifty people, let me tell you".

Am I nuts?

Why the hell is the DuckTales theme in my head?

Does that answer the preceding question?

Also:
We have people going off over things in the review that aren't in the review

Now I understand where all the "how DARE you throw around your sexist lies!!" is coming from, after reading that stay-at-home mothers are "repressed Republican puppets" after that being the first I'd heard of Dustin's hatred of them.

Answer: nowhere

Get a woman out there who's also an unqualified joke (and seriously try to float the idea that she's a Hillary Clinton substitute) (and some people even buy it) and immediately start shouting that she's being shouted at by "sexist people somewhere" for being a woman. Meanwhile, she's just an asshole, plain and simple, no look under the hood relevant or necessary, but you can't get all Zell Miller about that.

Posted by: Jay at September 13, 2008 5:15 PM

Er. I'm a part time stay-at-home Dad myself, for as long as I can manage it. I sure as hell wouldn't make fun of a stay-at-home Mom. Just dumb people. And people that cynically get faux-outraged to score political points. sino vos feteo turd furtificus, I'm not sure how you read that into the review, but I apologize for the misunderstanding.

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at September 13, 2008 5:28 PM

Dustin, I love you. Will you marry me so I can have your babies? Oh, wait, you're already married and I'm pretty sure you have a kid. Well, then can I at least fill the hot, meaningless sex void in your life?

Posted by: Mouse at September 13, 2008 5:32 PM

*clap* *clp**clap*

Dustin Rowles ladies and gentlemen, father, humanitarian, communist sympathizer, hater of working mothers...sex bomb..?!?!?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 13, 2008 5:36 PM

The only thing that comes to mind, thinking of lipstick and turd, is Hillary's mouth on Bill's leather cheerio.
Since Hillary doesn't wear any lipstick,and would never rimjob a man, please substitute one of the many high priced escorts him and Elliot Spitzer have shared over the last 10 years.

Posted by: Chuck at September 13, 2008 8:29 PM

Hey, robot cookie - where are you holding the auditions? I'm 35, cute, have a computer science degree (magna cum laude), play the violin, am a working mom with a 4-year-old son whom I adore and a husband whom I adore when he hasn't indulged on too much granola and is suffering from a bad case of the farts, and I know how to bake gingerbread cake from scratch. Let's recruit Anna von and Sino turd too. Problem is, if you were to actually *make* a movie about smart women doing normal things and leading non-fashion-industry careers and struggling to make things work in their "real" lives, nobody would give two shits and it wouldn't make any money at the box office. BUT if we got the smart chicks on this site together, I bet we could make a damned good indie!

Posted by: KC at September 13, 2008 10:45 PM

OK, when I reread my post I felt the need to confess that I really can't make a gingerbread cake from scratch. I made that shit up. Does that make me any less "real"?

Posted by: KC at September 13, 2008 10:46 PM

"Vlasic."
"Candice."
"Bergen."

Jesus.

Posted by: tommytimp at September 14, 2008 12:11 AM

BUT if we got the smart chicks on this site together, I bet we could make a damned good indie!

Posted by: KC

I'll write the script under one condition: if a scene requires crying, you have to do the Demi Moore "Ghost" crying. Meaning: just tears and chest heaving.

Posted by: Sofía at September 14, 2008 12:24 AM

sigh. I just wish I could see a movie with a woman I could to aspire to be like...last one was Ripley, I think. She was experiencing loss of personal life and loss of time with her family for her career, was a good thinker, very brave and compassionate to the little guys - and she still could turn those Aliens on their asses. Where the hell is that type of woman found these days? I seek, but do not find.

Also, the heavy political slant makes sense - it does seem a bit surreal (especially to those outside your country) so stop freaking out that people need to talk about it. A lot of it is questionable, whichever way you vote. It's fairly obvious that Pajiba leans left, but you can continue the back pat for the fact that the commenters actually listen to each other and generally behave well between Tourette's fits.

Posted by: replica at September 14, 2008 5:41 AM

AvB, It's getting crowded in here, between sofia kissing your ass and me kissing your vagooter. We're gonna need a bigger boat.

I would just like to add that insulting and belittling the Christian right and their beliefs is exactly the best possible way to persuade them not to flock to the polls by the millions and kick Democrat ass. Please, by all means, continue.

Bob Barr '08

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 14, 2008 5:59 AM

So much posturing and so little content in the comments... quite in synch with the review itself, actually.

Barbado and Anna win the awards for the emptiest lives. Sad but true. Let your ego be all you are and hurry to tell the world about it.

Posted by: Alex at September 14, 2008 5:59 AM

ANOTHER AWARD!

I truly AM the most awesome person I know. Thank you for recognizing that very fact.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 14, 2008 6:20 AM

I didn't really notice a tirade against religion here.

Posted by: Jay at September 14, 2008 8:25 AM

You will notice that like with most Conservo arguments, they're ALL with intertwined *coded* racism, hate, homophobia, classicism. Attacks, smokescreens and straw men followed by a an instant cry of foul "I'm being persecuted" "socialists" and "liberals are trying to corrupt our children." I'm sick of it.

They've been doing this for last 20 years, while the other side just stares in disbelief. I say: NO MORE, I say, we strike back, take it either as a warning, threat, and most definitely a PROMISE: bring your bullshit HERE and we are gonna make you eat it.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 14, 2008 9:32 AM

*ALL riddled

*the last 20..

oy need coffee

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 14, 2008 9:36 AM

Hey, BSlim, I'm just as awesome as you are!! Aren't our sad, empty and purely egoist lives just the best?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 14, 2008 9:52 AM

*HI FIVE*

I propose Pajiba offer the: Awesome Achievements in Awesomeness Awards.

With you and me as first nominees.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 14, 2008 9:55 AM

Also, I forgot to mention... I am an ugly, ugly crier. Blotchy, red, hiccuping sobs... the worst kind. Somebody else will have to do that in our indie. And, also also, I can't make gingerbread from scratch either. I can, however, make a kick-ass jewelry ensemble for each member of a 9-person bridal entourage (including juniors, flower girl, and best wo-man) in less than a week.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 14, 2008 10:01 AM

I propose Pajiba offer the: Awesome Achievements in Awesomeness Awards

Only if Billy Crystal hosts.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 14, 2008 10:03 AM

Sofia, I would like to audition for your movie. I can only cook things that are eaten for breakfast, grilled cheese, and brownies from a box. I don't cry. I take my pain out on small animals and sensitive men. I'm Black and more surly than sassy(ugh), but I'm not a lesbian, so you'll have to fill your twofer quota another way. An Asian amputee, perhaps?

Posted by: jM at September 14, 2008 10:19 AM

OK, the cast so far is:

Anna von Beaverplatz: the sexy librarian (no Palin references, rest assured) who spends her afternoons making jewelry ensembles because no one is reading. AT ALL.

jM: the girl who drives the truck that brings the books into town. You have long conversations with your partner (soon you will know who she is) about famous characters in literature (think "Royale with cheese" with books) and you both agree that, though Scarlett O'Hara was a selfish brat, she's simply irresistible and Scarlett Johansson has no fucking right to share the same name with one of the meanest bitches in history.

Sofía: I'm your partner in the truck. While we're having the conversation I am solving a Rubik's cube. I kinda have an accent. I believe that fills the twofer quota.

OK... I'm looking and looking and so far nobody is cooking in this movie... Maybe BSlim can be the token male cook who showers outside the barn, and serve the double purpose of being the sensitive man jM takes out her pain on. That's why after an argument about Paul Auster jM will hit the gas with a vengance and running you over with the truck, and you can definitely do the Demi Moore crying while on the pavement (while music by Pavement plays, duh)

Anna's intervention is fascinating. But that's coming after the break (I never said it was a motion picture; it's just a movie of the week.)

Posted by: Sofía at September 14, 2008 1:06 PM

Wait wait, I'm the guy who showers outside the barn, gets to be sensitive AND run over?

Am I gonna get in some 3 way action at some point?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 14, 2008 1:14 PM

I just LOVE when these crapfest movies are put out under the guise of showing "real women" dealing with real problems. I want the movie that depicts women like the women I know (and am): sitting around cursing, drinking beer (not whatever frilly drink is popular at the moment), and saying things dirtier than most men could imagine. Put that on film, and you've got my ticket. Actually, that's probably a lie. If that happened, I'd ask why I wanted to spend money watching something that happens at my home on a weekly basis. Oh, well...you just can't please us women-folk, can you?

Posted by: PUREGONZO at September 14, 2008 8:04 PM

Wow, I didn't know that when I went to read a review of a dumb looking chick flick, I had to put up with some bitter political commentary. I fail to see the connection between a vice presidential candidate and a chick flick starring Meg Ryan (since Meg Ryan is not the one running for office).
I guess with every war movie we have to listen to talk of John McCain, or with any movie that has to do with law there will be a good long vent on the views of the Supreme Court. My God, is there anywhere one can go to escape the blind streaking from either side???
I like politics, heck I am minoring in political science, but dear God, I can't wait until next year.

Posted by: Jenny at September 14, 2008 8:45 PM

PUREGONZO
I believe we are of the same kind.

Posted by: Sofía at September 14, 2008 9:15 PM

"Vlasic."
"Candice."
"Bergen."

Jesus.

Posted by: tommytimp at September 14, 2008 12:11 AM

I am so glad it was someone besides me who finally pointed those things out...see how patient I was?

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 14, 2008 9:50 PM

I can make gingerbread from scratch.

I had no idea it was related to having a vagina, though. What other fabulous prizes come with this thing?

And btw, what's-er-name latin turdpicker, gets no special sympathy from me. Try putting your kid in daycare to go back to a job you need AND enjoy and see what kind of invectives get heaped on you. We all get shit, darlin', it just comes flying at us from different sides.

Posted by: Wednesday at September 14, 2008 9:53 PM

I like where this is headed Sofia. O'Hara trumps Johansson any day. And BSlim plays my sensitive chef boyfriend? That's gonna be a fun table read. I hope he stretches.

Posted by: jM at September 14, 2008 9:59 PM

Admittedly I get a bit *a lot* defensive on the subject of breeding and the associated stereotype that I suddenly found myself slotted into when I made the decision to stay at home with my child. It's not just a loss of income, but a loss of respect from peers and colleagues and a loss of identity.

Posted by: sino vos feteo turd furtificus at September 13, 2008 1:38 PM

Just to play out your point that women are not a homogeneous lot -- my ex-wife stayed home with our second daughter when a career change for me made it financially feasible for her to do so. The thing is, we both wound up hating how it turned out (albeit for very different reasons): she disliked losing all the social markers you listed so much that she became sullen and miserable, and I disliked the change in our family dynamic so much that I became sullen and miserable.

I suspect I don't need to tell you how that turned out -- or maybe I do. She filed for divorce, got her old job back (after 18 months away), and put our house on the market (illegally, not that it wound up making a difference) all in one week while I was out of town on a business trip. NOTE: Her profession is Project Management -- go figure. Now she wears the "single working mother" badge like it's a goddamned Purple Heart. If there's a point in all of that, it might be that there are real women who suckle on the money/prestige/power teat just like men. For whatever it's worth.

Anyhow, sino, it doesn't sound like your identity and self-worth are as fragile as my ex's, so good luck to you on your chosen path.

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 14, 2008 10:11 PM

I never get why stay at home mothers feel this overwhelming need to defend themselves to critics. Stay at home mothers have nothing to apologize for. Fuck what someone else thinks right in the ear. My mother stayed home and raised me and my brother until we were in middle school. I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said "a mom". She doesn't know how to use email. She can program a DVR like Stephen Hawking doing digital sudoku. She never got a college education, but she can kick your ass at trivia dealing with older pop culture. She doesn't have to prove herself to anyone. She's got her reward. It's a kick ass son like me. So anyone who thinks choosing motherhood as a profession is a weakness can take it up with her. It's been a while since I've seen someone picking up their fucking teeth when a tiny fierce woman went upside their head with a fucking fry pan.

Posted by: insertclevernamehere at September 14, 2008 10:52 PM

Jay,

Any mention of "the right of a woman to make her own decisions" automatically drags the Christians and the Catholics into it. I'm supposedly a Catholic, but I'm not picking sides here. Some of what I believe puts me at odds with my own church, so I'm just saying. It just amazes me that having lost the last two presidential elections (yeah, I know, Florida '00 blah blah blah, shut up already) in no small part by motivating and energizing the Christian right with taunts and ridicule, the left still hasn't learned its lesson.

I'm a social libertarian and an economic conservative. My two main principles are:

1. I'll mind my own fucking business, you mind yours.

And

2. Keep your fucking hands off my wallet.

I'm a registered Republican, because I used to think that was the party to which principle No. 2 applied (and which is my primary principle). I no longer think that. The two guiding principles of both major parties seem to be:

1. Give us all your money.

2. Fuck you if you don't like it.

Ergo:

Bob Barr '08

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 15, 2008 12:17 AM

If you're still reading, here's another few words. I am more ancient than even the lurker, so will presume to speak in portentous tones as if I had actual wisdom.

Indeed, there are women to aspire to be out in the world. I've been fortunate to meet many and even romance a few. (I am an incorrigible flirt. First, it's fun. Second, sometimes it leads to other things.)

I'd thought to name a candidate-icon who hangs hereabouts, but really, how to choose? Read any of the women who post here. Not a silicone cutout among them? AvonB? Sophie? What about the much beloved AlabamaPink who inspired a small legion of supporters from many and far lands, with only her words typed in comments on movie reviews.*

They are out there. You just gotta tune the right channels. You can't stop the signal. Find exceptional people. Get where they are. Then try to live up to their standard, if you dare. That's a formula for an interesting life, but not an easy one. Who wants easy anyway (except in . . . well, you already went there, didn't you?)

Even so, roles in fiction and icons in your life aren't molds to fit to but fodder, to build what you aspire to be. Choose for yourself. Being an person, actual and whole, isn't the easiest thing to do. It takes a lifetime. And yet, Dorothy Parker? Madam Curie? Elizabeth R? Golda Meir?

Take your inspirations where you find them. If the wad wants to bathe in caricature, well the more fool them.

Oh yeah. "Scathing reviews for bitchy people." This movie - meh. It is, I declare, beneath us. We decline to recognize it further. (Nothing burns those who would be noticed quite like indifference.)

Bill / Opus '08

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at September 15, 2008 2:35 AM

F***ing computers.

Please consider the typos fixed. I'm too pissed at the infernal machine to go through them all again. I did *not* hit post, dammit.

And get off of my lawn, you damn kids.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at September 15, 2008 3:07 AM

Why the hell did I ever leave this place? It's fan-fucking-tastic here! True, the level of bone chilling intellect and razor sharp eloquence leaves me feeling mildly retarded, but I'm content to sit in the corner and play with my toys while hoping that some small percentage of the adult conversation permeates my Facebook-addled brain.

P.S. I don't know about you guys, but my female TV role model is none other than Xena, Warrior Princess.

A-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le!

Posted by: monkey_b at September 15, 2008 3:59 AM

...roles in fiction and icons in your life aren't molds to fit to but fodder, to build what you aspire to be. Choose for yourself. Being an person, actual and whole, isn't the easiest thing to do. It takes a lifetime. And yet, Dorothy Parker? Madam Curie? Elizabeth R? Golda Meir?

Truer words have rarely been spoken, BierceAmbrose.

I'm liking how our film is shaping up. I have a question, though:
Anna's intervention is fascinating.
Am I intervening in jM's running over BSlim, and their ensuing interactions? Or am I in need of an intervention because I'm a sexy librarian who's hooked on, say, Phonics?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 15, 2008 8:53 AM

Are home-makers all women with no personal goals, who's life is centered around pleasing a man and spitting out his brats and ironing his shirts and drugging herself out of boredom? I don't believe so, and I thinks it's terrible that movies will portray women like that.
Same goes for the fashion industry. Letting the fact that vapid blonde celebutards show in "the tents" completely nullify an industry or art isn't fair. This movie blows, perhaps; the fashion industry doesn't by proxy.

Posted by: that bees chick at September 15, 2008 11:34 AM

Instead of coming off as a misogynist, you come off as a liberal douchebag which is just as bad. Actually, it's probably worse. Shut the fuck up and review the piece of shit movie already!

Posted by: Tony at September 15, 2008 7:19 PM

This movie made me want to nominate Sisterhood of the Traveling Panties 2 for an Academy Award...
Thanks Gloria Steinem, you liberated all of us.

Posted by: Chuck at September 15, 2008 7:39 PM

But how do you really feel about politics Whoopi... oops, I mean Dustin? Funny review of the movie... all 10 words of it. Let us know when the soapbox breaks and the reviews start again.

Posted by: NNNewman at September 15, 2008 8:10 PM

This movie made me want to nominate Sisterhood of the Traveling Panties 2 for an Academy Award...
Thanks Gloria Steinem, you liberated all of us.

Posted by: Chuck at September 15, 2008 7:39 PM

Huh?

I'm confused -- and scared. Confused by what you mean, Chuck, but scared that if you mean what I think you do then I might actually agree with you...

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 15, 2008 8:57 PM

Anna von B, thanks for the kind words.

I just try to keep up with the company round here. So to speak.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at September 16, 2008 2:58 AM

Nice pick monkey_b. My female role model is Xenu, Warrior Princess but that's another whole can of disembodied alien souls.

Samuel L. Jackson / Bruce Willis '08
"Yippie ki-yay for America, motherfuckers."

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at September 16, 2008 3:04 AM

"While I like to keep politics out of my entertainment Dustin, you could have said the same things about Obama until Palin came on the scene."

Actually, no. And I say this as a (former) Clinton supporter: Palin couldn't hold a candle to Barack Obama on his worst day. He has been a U.S. Senator for a major state for longer than she's been governor of Alaska. He spoke at the 2004 Convention, thus revealing that people high-up actually knew who he was in 2004. He has traveled extensively and has a firm grasp of world politics. He is a published author of a best-selling memoir.

And, dare I point this out without seeming (gasp) elitist?, he graduated magna cum laude from Harvard Law School, where he was Editor-in-Chief of Law Review. Palin's laurels don't even approach Obama's and I don't think anybody can credibly maintain otherwise.

Posted by: samantha t at September 16, 2008 12:33 PM

Wow. You all stay up too late for me. How the hell do I miss these discussions? Not that anyone will read this, but I liked the discussion about stereotyping women - anger directed towards the stereotypes in Hollywood (career in fashion, trying to nail down a man, drinkin' cosmos) and the backlash against those sentiments (why shouldn't women get a career in fashion or stay at home with kids if that's what they want to do) - interesting stuff. That's why I come up here...NATUURRE Goulet...er, Pajiba.
Me, I'm a twenty-seven year old corporate lawyer working at a big firm, having graduated from a top-notch (and very liberal) law school last year. I didn't grow up rich or privileged - my mom's a 7th grade teacher and my dad is a salesman and I grew up in a very middle-class home. I was able to go to a private college solely because of an academic scholarship. Right now, I am saving up money and being tutored in Ancient Greek and Latin until I can go BACK to school to get a PhD in classical history so that I can spend the rest of my life researching in dusty libraries and lecturing to classrooms full of undergrads. I used to be interested in a career in politics. Then I realized (after a brief stint in DC) that most successful politicians are crooked ego-maniacs, and many of the honest ones (like my ex-boss) who refuse to compromise their integrity and play the game get shafted - sometimes by their own parties. I'm not married and have no intention of getting married until I'm through with my next round of grad school, but then I think I'll want to find a life-long partner. However, for now, I love dating (because I am not what you'd call sexually-repressed and happen to like romance), so long as no long-term commitment is involved.
And yet I'm conservative and religious to boot (surprise!). (Also, because I know these things are completely ridiculed on this site...I was a cheerleader in high school and pledged a sorority in college - and loved every minute of it. So yuk it up, Pajibans. Feel free to make fun of me. I can see the distain coming from a mile away.)
And YET. I'd vote for an upstanding Democrat over a shady Republican. To me, character matters more than party politics. My very best friend in the whole world is a bleeding heart liberal slaving her life away doing programming and writing grant proposals for the state Dept. of Child and Family Services after living in the Philippines for two years working in a human rights organization. She's brilliant and kind and humble, and I respect all her points of view, despite disagreeing fundamentally with her. Smart people can come to different conclusions - we all have unique experiences and therefore see the world differently - and still be friends. Though I'm conservative socially, I don't know whether or to what extent that should carry over into politics, because I haven't fully formed my opinions on that yet. I'm not some wacko hoping to make everyone follow some sort of governmentally-imposed moral code - that much I know. But I also think the laws inevitably, to some extent, reflect the social conscience of the collective community. So I don't know. I'm wise enough to know I don't have all the answers to life's big questions - or the experience required to begin to answer them - and probably won't ever make up my mind on some things. And will probably wrong about many of the things I do "figure out."
I realize that lots of things about me don't really make sense or jive - I'm kinda like ten different people crammed into one body - but it's all me. All of it makes me...me. It takes all types, folks. Don't try to define or pigeonhole people - they're never what you expect. Women aren't all one way, conservatives aren't all one way, liberals aren't all one way, men in their 20s aren't all beer-guzzling morons (referencing some comment way up there), and commenters on Pajiba aren't all Obama-loving, boozy leftists (not that I don't respect and like the folks on here who are - ya'll are smart and funny and I very much enjoy reading your comments). I don't usually label people, but I will tag them as idiots if they refuse to look past stereotypes to really see and know a person.
And that was officially the longest comment I've ever submitted.

Posted by: tt_marie at September 16, 2008 12:53 PM

[...] I haven't fully formed my opinions on that yet.

I love this, tt_marie. At ten years older than you, I still haven't, either. And I may never. As you go through life, you experience things that may change your views, so I feel it's best to be pretty flexible here. And not just in politics, but in other areas and idea as well.

I can't wait 'til I'm at the point where I'm close to getting a PhD. That's gonna be a looooonnngg time from now, but damned if I'm not determined to do it before I drop dead.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 16, 2008 1:18 PM

also i apologize to all the site's grammar nazis for teh various mispellings and grammatical errors - that shit kinda just flew off my fingertips and i'm not the world's best speller anyway (see, for example, "distain", which means something entirely different than "disdain"). forgive me.

Posted by: tt_marie at September 16, 2008 1:28 PM

I can see the distain coming from a mile away.

Posted by: tt_marie at September 16, 2008 12:53 PM

I was preparing to skewer you for that, as well as for being...who you are, when your bout of self-awareness gave me pause. Actually, what I just said is a crock of shit and I was lapping up every last word of your screed. Or maybe the truth lies somewhere in between.

Not that anyone will read this

I'm just posting to prove you wrong.

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 16, 2008 8:39 PM

As I get older, the only thing I'm certain of is that I'm less certain about most everything.

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 16, 2008 11:51 PM

As I get older, the only thing I'm certain of is that I'm less certain about most everything.

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 16, 2008 11:51 PM

How convenient. So if you live forever, you'll be certain about nothing. Say what?

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 17, 2008 12:05 AM

Yeah, that sounds about right. Also:

The more I learn, the less I know.

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 19, 2008 8:46 PM

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