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Unknown Review: That Is the Sound of a Thousand Terrible Things Headed This Way

By Daniel Carlson | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (24)



Unknown_Review.JPG

Unknown isn’t the worst movie director Jaume Collet-Serra has made; of the four on his c.v., that honor is shared by the repulsive House of Wax and the laughable Orphan. It is, however, a maddeningly stupid one, built on cheap shocks, idiotic plotting, and some of the worst acting by a female lead outside of the porn industry. There’s no accident that it was released to theaters in February, during the time of year when studios are still busy trumpeting last year’s award winners and contenders that they fill their winter slots with lowbrow action, unfunny comedies, and grating family fare. The film feels calculated to push every last button of annoyance in a thinking viewer, practically daring you to stand up and shout at the screen, or to beseech the projectionist to just put on something else. Based on the novel Out of My Head by Didier van Cauwelaert, the screenplay from Oliver Butcher and Stephen Cornwell is fraught with dumb twists and thick characters, and the brief tension Collet-Serra brings to a few suspenseful scenes evaporates whenever we’re required to care about the people in those scenes; they exist only in the abstract, never as real people. Perhaps it’s fitting to a degree that a movie about memory loss never asks its audience to identify with the protagonist in any real way. After all, if he’s just a ghost, a cipher, why care about him? The answer, had the filmmakers bothered to think about it, is that only by caring about the mystery man will we want to see the mystery solved. And at no point in this by-the-numbers pseudo-thriller do we ever reach such a point. The experience is as flimsy as its hero’s foggy memories, though sadly, not nearly so quick to pass.

As with all disappointing films, the heartbreak comes not just from the execution but the missed opportunities. When Dr. Martin Harris (Liam Neeson) and his wife, Elizabeth (January Jones), visit Berlin so he can speak at a biotechnology conference, he winds up in a car wreck that puts him in a coma for four days. He awakens with blanks in his memory and also finds that no one has come looking for him, and that Liz, when he gets back to her, doesn’t know who he is. There’s even another man (Aidan Quinn) who claims to be Martin Harris, a discovery that sends Martin Prime into understandable fits of pique. Our Martin has no ID or passport because he’d left it in his briefcase, which he forgot at the airport, and he was taking a cab back there to get it when the car accidentally ran off the road and into a river. He now has no way to prove that he is who he says he is. Being a man without a country isn’t a new idea — these early scenes of confusion borrow heavily from the terrible The Net with a few dashes of The Bourne Identity sprinkled in via the aesthetic and European setting — but it’s rare in film to complicate the problem by having a double show up to replace the displaced protagonist. The door is opened, for the briefest of moments, for the filmmakers to bring in ideas about doubt and identity, to ask what makes someone who they are. It would obviously be done within the context of a movie in which armed gunmen have car chases across one of the most populous cities in Europe without incurring the wrath of any police or civilians, but hey, at least it would be something.

Yet Martin remains unmoved by such questions, and in fact, he stays pretty simple throughout the film. He wants to figure out what’s happening, that’s for sure, but he’s pretty bad at actually assimilating the knowledge he gains to form a coherent idea of what’s going on. For instance, when he wakes from his coma, he realizes that among his possessions is a pocket-sized book full of Latin phrases and old images that he remembers was a gift from his father. The book (which survived the trip in the river surprisingly well) has a small chunk of code scrawled inside the back cover: four sets of three numbers each. Martin sees this and promptly ignores it, especially when he’s distracted by a TV report that makes him remember all about the conference he’s supposed to be attending. Now, someone in that situation would probably be keyed up and willing to jump at little things like news stories and memory fragments, but they would probably also be devoted to figuring out just what the hell is going on with everyone around them, and if they woke to find a code (written, as Martin finds, by no less than their own spouse’s hand) on their only remaining piece of property, he or she would probably set about deciphering said code or at least worrying over it for more than a second or two. But the script makes Martin resolutely dumb, willing to chug along aimlessly and bounce off the walls until the answers finally fall into his lap. He has a purpose, but he lacks common sense. That’s the film as a whole: possessed of superficial virtues that look the part of the thriller, but completely unable or unwilling to make them work.

Martin’s pinball journey eventually leads him to Gina (Diane Kruger), the cab driver who ran him into the river but who also pulled him out of the car and saved his life. He uses her to help try and put his life back together, which means trying to reach out to colleagues in Berlin and also securing the help of an investigator who used to be in the Stasi. (The fact that the investigator is played by Bruno Ganz, who starred as Adolf Hitler in Downfall and was immortalized in countless meme videos, is just one of those little grace notes that makes life worth living.) It’s only Neeson’s sheer magnetism that makes much of the film watchable; even in the little moments, he’s constantly working, always working through his emotions with facial tics or body language. He’s a charming and engaging actor, and though the material never once challenges any part of his brain, he still brings his game. The consistency of his professionalism is even more apparent whenever he shares the screen with human-resembling block of wood January Jones. No matter the scene’s requirements, Jones is incapable of demonstrating emotional range or depth. At first I assumed this was merely her character: a cold, withdrawn person given to little sentiment. But that’s wrong, and it gives her far too much credit. The screenplay has her express things like love (to her husband) and fear (again to him, about his safety) and anger, but Jones merely mouths the words and changes the speed of her speech. Her eyes never change, and her words drop like wet sand as soon as they leave her mouth. Neeson does his damnedest to convey the intensity and frustration of a man going mad, and opposite him is an actress who might as well be a piece of cardboard.

There are some major plot points in the third act that are needlessly convoluted, but I won’t go into them here. Not because I don’t want to spoil you, but because I’d honestly just rather put them behind me. Suffice it to say that they underscore just how desperately the filmmakers hope their smoke and mirrors convince viewers they’re seeing something of substance. By the third act, though, the film starts to come undone. For all the attempted twists the filmmakers try to insert, Martin’s path remains a surprisingly easy one. He remains somehow superhuman and bulletproof. Then again, this is a movie in which Martin bangs his head again late in the game and regains his memories, the screenwriters’ conception of neurology being on par with an episode of “The Facts of Life.” Apparently all he had to do to fill in the gaps in his memory was get knocked on the head again. Would that a similar blow could erase the memory of the film.

Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a member of the Houston Film Critics Society and the Online Film Critics Society. He’s also a TV blogger for the Houston Press. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.









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Comments

Damn. And here I've been looking forward to some more "Liam Neeson kicking ass around Europe" fare. And Aidan Quinn as a rival? Diane Kruger as eye candy? Come on, this ticks all my boxes!

Like I said yesterday, Jones looks ghost-like in real life. It seems that she's actually turning into a ghost if her performance is that invisible. When your claim to fame is that several million people wish ill on your most famous character (and not in a "love to hate" kind of way) that doesn't bode well for her.

Posted by: Fredo at February 18, 2011 12:14 PM

Thank you for blasting this ... it deserves every critique listed here and a few dozen more.

We're at a point where movies can just throw anything up on the screen without regard to logic or reason. And, sadly, the film is hovering at the 50 percent mark at Rottentomatoes.com. That's discouraging.

When the big reveal happens in "Unknown" we feel absolutely nothing. Zero. No emotional connection has been made.

Posted by: Christian Toto at February 18, 2011 12:20 PM

Dammit. I wanted this to at least be fun.

Posted by: Cindy at February 18, 2011 12:22 PM

I feel like, since the director of this also directed Orphan, an appropriate spoiler of the central mystery is necessary. My theory: It's a rip-off of The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear, where Neeson's character is taken out of the game for a brief time because what he knows is too damaging, so a double is brought in to maintain the hegemony of the powerful elite.

Also, Liam Neeson does sound eerily similar to Leslie Nielsen. There really is a conspiracy...

Dun dun dunnn!

Seriously, though, how off am I? Where's the ballpark in relation to my pitch?

Posted by: RobP at February 18, 2011 12:27 PM

I saw January Jones' interview on The Daily Show and between that and this I realized that she wasn't really acting in Mad Men; Vapid and wooden is her default setting.

Posted by: madjackdeacon at February 18, 2011 12:29 PM

I'm concerned with Liam Neeson's need to be Harrison Ford...

Posted by: Jerry at February 18, 2011 12:29 PM

RobP, if this movie steals the plot of Naked Gun 2 1/2 without having someone as good as Robert Goulet as the villain, then I will torch the movie theater.

Posted by: Fredo at February 18, 2011 12:30 PM

The good thing about them making this movie is that it gave me the opportunity to accidentally walk past Liam Neeson when they were filming on one of Berlin's more crowded streets.

And I feel sort of guilty that I was pretty sure that the "some of the worst acting by a female lead outside of the porn industry" was referring refer to Diane Kruger... Es tut mir leid, Diane! And I keep forgetting January Jones is even in this..

Posted by: Vanessa at February 18, 2011 12:32 PM

Is it Liam Neeson Week here on Pajiba?

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 18, 2011 12:41 PM

Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 18, 2011 12:41 PM

Um, I thought Orphan was kind of good. It was ridiculous, but good ridiculous.

(hiding under table)

Posted by: clatie at February 18, 2011 12:58 PM

Apparently all he had to do to fill in the gaps in his memory was get knocked on the head again.

Thank you for revealing that, Dan. You are dead on, that is some old school sitcom deus ex machina right there. This went from a Netflix viewing to HBO just like that.

Posted by: TylerDFC at February 18, 2011 1:03 PM

Okay, first of all, The Net was not terrible and ran in heavy rotation in my youth for some reason back when the "internet" was scary and new.

Secondly, waking up from a coma and not immediately working to decipher the meaning behind random numbers scribbled down does not make you an idiot. It makes you a normal person who's not used to living a conspiracy.

Lastly, I find it hard to take the opinion of the same website that didn't appreciate the instant-gratification amazingness of Neason's Taken.

That said, the previews for this movie do look unimaginably dull and it's increasingly disappointing coming to terms with January Jones's one note acting. She needs to get rid of that Betty-do when she leaves the Mad Men set and try a new mood on for size. Watching her act in an X-men costume should be interesting though.

Posted by: valerie at February 18, 2011 1:12 PM

Damn. I was really looking forward to seeing this. Eh I'll probably see it anyway. Guess I'll have to lower my expectations.

Posted by: camytaru at February 18, 2011 1:43 PM

Diane Kruger is a cab driver? In what universe do cab drivers look like German super models turned actress?

Posted by: Sean at February 18, 2011 2:16 PM

My thought exactly, Sean.

Even in NYC I have never seen a young, female cab driver. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen a female cab driver here. I presume some exist. But if I ever got into a cab with an attractive female cab driver, I would assume I was on a Taxicab Confessions type show.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at February 18, 2011 4:24 PM

I'm concerned with Liam Neeson's need to be Harrison Ford...
Posted by: Jerry at February 18, 2011 12:29 PM

I WANT MY FAMILY BACK. .. okay!

And whoa whoa WHOA. What's with the Orphan hate, DanCarl? I think that was one of the more "pleasant" horror films that's come out in ages. The adults were likable, the child actors not horribly obnoxious, and the story was paced admirably to build up the characters and unravel the story.

Posted by: duckandcover at February 18, 2011 6:48 PM

Well I was planning on seeing this, but I guess I'll save my money.

I still like Liam though. His take on women with tattoos was funny. When Liam was on the Tonight Show he said he didn't like them because it was like someone had already been there. Funny stuff.

Posted by: Dingle Berry at February 18, 2011 6:55 PM

Saw this last night. I was hoping for another 'Taken' (silly but infinitely entertaining) but yeah, not even close. And mother of god, do I have to agree about January Jones. Not being a MM watcher, I literally had no opinion of her until last night. Oh man, has that changed. It was like watching a bowl of oatmeal act next to Liam Neeson, she was so unspeakably bland and boring and and and she's not even oatmeal. Oatmeal has texture, she's fucking melba toast. The whole time she was on screen, I was like, who the fuck would cast her? Ah god, I'm getting all riled up! But yeah, she's completely expressionless, to a laughable degree.

Posted by: canaux at February 19, 2011 6:20 PM

Hey, if Neeson gets into Taken mode, that's enough for me.

Posted by: Big Softie at February 19, 2011 8:37 PM

Does this movie even bother to acknowledge the existence of internet technology?

These amnesia suspense movies are getting dated real quick.

That lady claims she doesn't know you and is not your wife? Well here's a you tube video of the two of you doing the tango during your Bahama wedding reception.

Some guy says he is the real Dr. Whatthefuck? Not according to healthgrades.com, linkedin, google cache, or your nieces facebook page.

You're in Germany, don't speak the language, and don't know anyone? There's an App for that.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 20, 2011 3:47 PM

But L.O.V.E, is there an App to get rid of January Jones?

Posted by: cinekat at February 21, 2011 8:21 AM

Bruno Ganz got dragged into this nonsense? That's not a grace note that makes life worth living, that's one of the finest actors alive whoring himself out to anyone willing to make a film in Berlin. Alack.

Posted by: scarecrowprophet at February 21, 2011 10:41 AM

Still mad about having paid $2 to see this in second run last night. Argh! So stupid. So, so stupid. The Ernst Jurgen character was possibly the best part but then the plot ends up making his whole arc unnecessary! WTF? And FFS, if you planted a bomb in a hotel and then decide you want to warn them, isn't the best thing to do to just call in a bomb threat? I mean, do you really need to race over there and try to defuse it yourself?

Jeebus this was baaaaaad.

Posted by: Anon at April 10, 2011 8:35 PM