tmnt12.jpg
Half the Shell I Used to Be

TMNT / Phillip Stephens

Film Reviews | March 23, 2007 | Comments (37)


I’ll just go ahead and get this out of the way: “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” was for me what Star Wars was to the previous generation; I devoured the comics, the toys, and the cartoon series; I donned the green backpack and red burglar mask for at least two Halloweens that I can remember; I lined up around the block to see the first film, disgruntled parents in tow; I poured quarters into the Konami arcade games; I even tried my hand at break dancing to Partners in Kryme’s “T-U-R-T-L-E POWER!” (Fuck you guys, I was nine!).

But in time, the Turtles faded away just like countless youth crazes before them. I stopped thinking or caring about the franchise somewhere in the mid-’90s (along with, I suspect, most of my peers) as I got older and found the original cartoon and film sequels more juvenile (or, in the latter’s case, horrendous) than I could stand. The Turtles didn’t disappear, however, but were manifested in different ways via comic and televised re-imaginings, including a new cartoon that attempted to get back to the original comics’ darker origins.

It’s with this rejuvenation in mind that the new TMNT arrives in theaters — it’s both a semi-sequel to the live-action films and a throwback to core elements, but construes them in a new CG universe. Making an animated film was a wise decision for the project, and makes the story’s comic irreverence seem more palatable.

The plot itself seems to slyly acknowledge the present state of the franchise: The Turtles’ glory days appear to be over, and the group is in functional disarray. Leonardo (the voice of James Arnold Taylor) has been sent to Central America on a kind of learning quest in order to become a better leader. In his absence, Michelangelo (Mikey Kelley) and Donatello (Mitchell Whitfield) keep busy with day-jobs (incognito, of course), while Raphael (Nolan North), restless and resentful over the inactivity, moonlights as a masked (er…more masked) vigilante.

April O’Neil (Sarah Michelle Gellar), by contrast, has apparently taken this down-time to shed her former career as a reporter and become sort of Indiana Jones-cum-Lara Croft archaeologist/super-heroine. She also travels to Central America in order to find a mysterious statue at the behest of some omnipotent businessman (Patrick Stewart). She encounters Leo and tells him of the Turtles’ fragmentation at home, convincing him to return. The statue in question links to a separate plot strand that involves immortals, constellations, monsters, the Foot Clan (they’re still around), and a whole mess of high fantasy drivel that threatens no less than the end of the world.

Most of the fun (for my part) of the original Ninja Turtles incarnations was the group dynamic. Each Turtle had his distinct skills and personality: Leonardo was the idealistic, experienced leader; Michelangelo the lighthearted goofball; Donatello the cautious intellectual; and Raphael the brooding anti-hero. The four brothers’ individual traits and relationships were highlighted through their differing weapon and styles in combat melees, a veritable dream for youngling fanboys (and -girls!) who could easily pick the Turtle they most identified with as favorite and then watch in glee as each distinct trait was used in combination to defeat their foes.

TMNT is at its best when it hews closely to this familial dynamic of the Turtles’ relationships with one another and their human friends; the conflict erupting between Raphael and Leo after his return nicely informs everything that was so appealing about the original concept. Unfortunately, it doesn’t encompass as much of the plot as is should, nor are Michelangelo and Donatello given enough to do before colliding with the whole monster/immortal yarn that, naturally, forces the heroes to re-unify.

Writer-director Kevin Munroe deserves quite a bit of credit for the rejuvenation of a series whose interest has been waning for more than 10 years. The film’s energy and aesthetic are tailor-made for both older fans and young enthusiasts. Unfortunately, Munroe packs far too much plot into 90 minutes — especially concerning the laughably convoluted villain plot(s) — and the story has to zip along with too scant attention given to the multiple character dynamics. The briskness and enthusiasm of the movie should be fun for the younger crowd, and especially anyone with large nostalgia stores for this unique, silly enterprise. But to anyone without a preconceived appreciation of the Ninja Turtles, the corny quips, outlandish mythology, and breakneck, cursory pace will probably be insufferable.

For my part though, having neither expectations nor really any interest in a franchise I hadn’t thought about in over a decade, TMNT was a blast — a fun, forgettable glance back in time to something that grabbed hold of my young imagination and, obviously, never entirely let go.

Phillip Stephens is the lead critic for Pajiba. He lives in Fayetteville, AR.


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Comments

But is Krang in it? He was the best villain, all pink and disgusting. Ah, I miss the TMNT of my childhood.

Posted by: Tina at March 23, 2007 10:41 PM

So, in other words, not only will I be seeing this movie, I will be getting the DVD and hiding it from my nephews.

Real nice, Phillip. Real NICE.

Good Lord, KRANG? Of all people? I would pick those nimrods Bebop and Rocksteady over that waste of space.

Dammit! I geeked all over the place. Someone get me a mop!

Posted by: Vermillion at March 23, 2007 11:00 PM

yay Bebop and Rocksteady..they were the best villians!

I'd have to say that as a fangirl my favorite turtle as a child was Donatello. Back then, I was a "gifted" student and Donatello made being smart a little more cool. too bad I didn't have a bowstaff at school

Posted by: jmurae at March 23, 2007 11:20 PM

jmurae: you're quite right. Although Raphael appealed to the loner me, I swung the my bowstaff/broom around much more often.




Phillip, regarding as I got older and found the original cartoon and film sequels more juvenile (or, in the latter's case, horrendous) than I could stand.. grab a beer, put in the first movie, set language to French and enjoy.

Posted by: mcC at March 23, 2007 11:47 PM

I adored Michelangelo when I was a kid. He took such joy from life. And does anyone else remember that "all the cool ones end in 'o'"?

Posted by: Betty at March 24, 2007 2:15 AM

Donatello, always, forever. That being said, it is tough to watch beyond the 1st one when you're older and I have to agree on the point that the most enjoyable parts were the interactions between the turtles.

I might not be able to convince anyone to see this in theatres, but I shall RENT!

Posted by: Eric at March 24, 2007 6:55 AM

"I'll just go ahead and get this out of the way: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was for me what Star Wars was to the previous generation..."


Ouch

I'm so sorry, my most sincere sympathies go out to you and your family.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 24, 2007 7:02 AM

That brings back memories of playing Turtles at recess. I was always Donatello myself, because no one else wanted to be him. I mean, lets face it. He was a wuss with a lame-ass weapon. But he gave us cerebral types someone to look up to.

So what villains are in this?

Posted by: Matt B at March 24, 2007 12:04 PM

I can't decide if it was incredibly awesome for my friends and I to see this opening night, or extremely nerdy. Hell, what am I saying, we were awesome!

I loved the movie, both for the nostalgia and general entertainment. It brought back fond memories of playing Ninja Turtles with friends, all of whom forced me to be April since I was the only girl and told me I wasn't allowed to be a hero cause I was a girl, a fact I generally ignored and used my super savvy journalistic powers to ultimately crack the key to wear the villains were hiding and save the day. They all hated me every time I did that :-D

That being said, I hated April in this movie. It's not that Sarah Michelle Gellar was a bad choice, but only if she had used her actual voice instead of the breathy half whisper (was she trying to be sexy?) thing we heard throughout the entire movie.

Final note, I was very sad when Raphael made no throwback to this fabulous line, my favorite from the first movie: "A Jose Canseco bat! Tell me you didn't pay money for this!"

Posted by: McGeek at March 24, 2007 2:38 PM

In '92 I was dressed as a spooky vampire sort and standing in the doorway of my house when the neighbourhood tough-guy bully of the preschool set came barging up the stairs demanding "trick or treat" and slammed right into my black-clad form. I didn't move a muscle, and he did this freeze-and-slowly-scan-up-to-the-scarily-made-up-face thing before the screaming started. All I could see was a green foam Ninja Turtle shell bouncing down the stairs, out the gate, down the street, while his mother laughed her fool head off and than thanked me profusely. I was worried I might have scarred that little kid for life.

Gee. I hope that wasn't you.

If it was, sorry.

Posted by: JH Maximumm at March 24, 2007 4:09 PM


Michaelangelo was always my favorite, I think because he had control of the pizza in the opening credits, I always crush on the party-dude. When I was 13 I (very unsneakily) appropriated a Michaelangelo lamp out of my friend's basement and I kept it by my bedside for years afterwards. A prized possesion, probably my first encounter with nostalgia. Great review by the way-

Posted by: Adrianne at March 24, 2007 4:29 PM

There really isn't much of a generational gap between Star Wars and TMNT. I'm without question of the Star Wars generation as 1977 is my earliest memory, but I was also in the arcade putting quarters into the TMNT four-player game and enjoying the NES adaptation. Perhaps I was a little old for the cartoon (although inexplicably I know the theme song), and I never even saw any of the movies.

Posted by: Rob at March 24, 2007 5:04 PM

I had absolutely no intention of seeing this, damn you!
I always loved Michelangelo. May have had something to do with being lazy and loving pizza.

Posted by: Samantha at March 24, 2007 11:28 PM

I'm smiling because the Turtles were my Star Wars, too. I was always a big fan of Donatello, something about his quiet yet passionate soul spoked to my own. Before I wax too poetic over the heroes in a half-shell, I have to say I am quite saddened over the crappier and crappier resurgence of the franchise.

This cat has been ran over far too many times.

Posted by: Miranda at March 25, 2007 9:47 PM

Where's the love for Leonardo?

I mean, two katana's, people. That's pretty bad ass. Probably why I am a Samurai/Japanese history buff with a few in my possession to this day...

Posted by: Some Guy at March 25, 2007 9:50 PM

I definitely grew up on the Turtles (the cartoons and movies not the comic books) and I hated TMNT. I thought it couldn't make up its mind between trying to please old fans and new kids today. I just found it really annoying and like it really missed the mark of what made the original cartoons so much fun.

Posted by: Joe at March 25, 2007 10:24 PM

I had two best guy friends. One was Leonardo, one was Donatello. I was Raphael. I mean, I *was* Raphael. The sarcasm, the misanthropy, the distrust of authority. I loved the first TMNT movie, even though it ticked me off that Raph had to get his ass kicked when he went off alone. Re-watched that movie recently, it still holds up. Can't say the same for either sequel, unfortunately.

Still. I'll obviously be seeing this.

Posted by: Sam at March 25, 2007 11:02 PM

Another vote for Leonardo!

Don't worry Philip, sitting in the theater waiting for this movie to start, I had T-U-R-T-L-E POWER! stuck in my head....by the way, thanks for getting it back in there (dammit)

**SPOILER**
I also always loved the whole turtle brotherly dynamic thing best, and the fight between Raphael and Leonardo on the rooftop was just freaking awesome!

Posted by: KDM at March 25, 2007 11:35 PM

My dad still has a picture of me from when I was 9/10 and Donatello signed my hat at Universal Studios hanging up in his office. I had no front teeth. That first sentence was wonky but I'm hung over.

I went to college with a guy who was still quoting "Ninja, ninja ROCK!" (2001).

Posted by: The Stew at March 26, 2007 9:38 AM

My 7 year old son loved it. He was Rafael for Halloween 2 years ago. We also have the first live action movie on DVD (found it in the $1 bin!). However, I think one of the best reviews was the four 6 year old boys doing roundhouse kicks outside the theater after the movie.

Posted by: Chris at March 26, 2007 11:56 AM

...all the cool ones end in 'o'.

Yeah, uh huh- fuck you. Raphael rocked,and so did Splinter! Raph was so sexy with his bad-ass attitude.

I had all three live-action movies. And by "had" I mean... well, nevermind.

Posted by: that bees chick at March 26, 2007 12:27 PM

My vote is for Leonardo. He's a leader, plus he's the only one with real weapons. (Come on, the bo? Just, no.) Though Michaelangelo will always have a place in my heart for his creative pizza toppings -- peanut butter and jelly pizza, anyone?

Posted by: krank at March 26, 2007 12:34 PM

Oh yeah, good STP reference with the title (if in fact it is).

Posted by: The Stew at March 26, 2007 12:55 PM

dude, no vanilla ice rap song, no deal.


go ninja go ninja go...

Posted by: the-ian at March 26, 2007 1:45 PM

Ode to the turtles:

Oh, brave masked reptilian heroes, how I adored thee! At 12 years old, despite being on the cusp of being too old to love you by accepted societal standards, I still watched every day with the curtains drawn... Coveting and longing for your little plastic figurines, possessed by all of the younger kids in the neighborhood.

But now? The rules are changed. It's 2007. I'm an adult and I'm allowed to watch your movie if so I choose. And as for the toys? There's always ebay.

Posted by: litelysalted at March 26, 2007 2:27 PM

I checked this out over the weekend with my kids. It definitely is a major step above the offal that has preceded it (namely the movies following the first). The comdedic bits hit in the right spots: they definitely underused Donatello, although Michelangelo's bits were funny I'm glad they didn't overuse him.

It's definitely a step in the right direction for the franchise as long as it can avoid the pitfalls of campiness that it fell into before.

Posted by: Manny at March 26, 2007 2:37 PM

Seriously? Are you telling me that this movie didn't suck?! I don't know whether to be disappointed or glad. On one hand, I was all geared up for a righteous rant about how Hollywood is defecating all over my fondest childhood memories. On the other hand, I fucking loved the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Hell, I even watched and enjoyed the sequels. Sure the samurai one sucked, but it was a fun diversion. In fact, I have all three on VHS. Oh yeah, I'm old school like that.

I have fond memories of playing with the TMNT action figures. The toys that I remember the most were the turtle blimp and the turtle pizza shooter. My brother and I had hours of fun trying to hurt each other with those things. I bet we still would if they weren't squirreled away in my parents attic. (Yes, my brother and I are adults and we still occasionally terrorize each other just for old times' sake. So nyah.) We spent so much time trying to do that stupid Vanilla Ice dance in front of the TV. Good times.

*sigh* Guess I have to see the movie now. Maybe I'll borrow one of my nephews.

Posted by: stardust savant at March 26, 2007 3:29 PM

"dude, no vanilla ice rap song, no deal.
go ninja go ninja go..."

You know that's right. I'm bringing my boombox to the theater and playing Ninja Rap over the closing credits. Just try and stop me!

Posted by: MG at March 26, 2007 3:48 PM

I detest Star Wars, but TMNT is no Star Wars.

Your sentence here:

But in time, the Turtles faded away just like countless youth crazes before them.

illustrates that beautifully, because let me tell you, the generation that loved Star Wars STILL loves Star Wars - Star Wars is not and was never merely a "youth craze" (oh, but it were! I wish!) - and if my word isn't good enough, let the fact that my 33-year-old husband was outside just last night working out light saber fights with my son be testament to that fact.

(Never mind the fact that he owns multiple copies of each film, and watches them constantly. And that Slave 1 [or whatever it's called] and the Millenium Falcon are in our fucking CHINA CABINET. INSTEAD of china. And of course, I have in my garage multiple broomsticks taped up with green and red and purple gaffe tape to resemble light sabers. And then, naturally, there are the short films that my husband, and countless other Star Wars geeks just like him, make. I could go on and on, but really, that should be enough.)

:)

Posted by: juliagulia at March 26, 2007 4:51 PM

I'll wait till this is on DVD before I pick it up in a guilty fit.

I love some nostolgia!

And, I was A Donatello girl.

Posted by: Meg at March 27, 2007 12:41 AM

Eh, kind of disappointed you didn't touch on the fact that the visual part of the film since TMNT is hands down one of the best looking 3D animated films around currently (shitty story aside). The textures in everything looked absolutely incredible and actually surpasses the Incredibles. It was visuals that kept me around.

Posted by: Daeyeth at March 27, 2007 2:44 AM

It's really only a question what guys our age are gonna geek out over more... this, or the new Transformers movie.

Posted by: Miranda P. at March 27, 2007 10:38 AM

I was a Donatello man, too. I loved his quiet sarcasm.

Posted by: Craig at March 28, 2007 12:57 AM

I was always April, even though my female cousin got to be Leonardo, by rights I should have been Donatello but as I was the only "proper girl" April it was.

Aaaaaaah good times.

I thoroughly embarassed myself in front of a group of my "coolest" friends (all musicians and fashion types - bleh) when I first saw the poster and squealed "Oh my god... TURTLES". That level of excitement still holds and I'm giddy with joy that you didn't outright say the movie sucked. Hurrah!

Also: Tell me that Splinter is in this movie. Please?

Posted by: Alex the Odd at March 28, 2007 7:07 AM

When I was in first grade, we re-named our reading group the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because there were four guys and one girl (me). I LOVED being April. Especially since all the other girls were stuck in groups with wussy names like penguins and unicorns. I ruled that class, and I do confess that we may have played a few adventures on the playground. Gotta see the movie now. What a great memory.

Posted by: Ashley at April 4, 2007 11:24 AM

Wait - there are three Turtles movies? Must have missed the third one.

Posted by: Gersemi at April 5, 2007 5:20 AM

I always liked Shredder as far as Badguys go... he was kickin' rad

Posted by: Ellis Dee. at April 6, 2007 7:59 AM





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