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Sorry, Sarah: The Brown Hair Doesn't Make Your Acting Any Better


Spinning into Butter / Dustin Rowles

Film Reviews | March 26, 2009 | Comments (31)


It’s logically impossible to convey just how horrifyingly bad Spinning the Butter is. There is absolutely no way to make sense of how the filmmakers managed to snag a cast of recognizable names to make this film. It’s cheap, atrociously acted, and unfathomably dated. It feels like a PSA film created by a high-school yearbook staff in 1987 to show in the school auditorium during racial-awareness week. It addresses racial issues so simplistically and presents them as so profound as to almost become a racist movie itself, like a geriatric junior high teacher gravely warning her students that “coloreds” is no longer an acceptable term of African Americans. Umm. No shit, lady. Welcome to 1961.

Based on a Rebecca Gilman play that must have felt at least 15 years old when it debuted in 1999, Spinning into Butter stars Sarah Jessica Parker as Sarah Daniels, the dean of students at a small liberal arts college in Vermont, the second whitest state in the Union (behind only Maine, of course). In her second year in the position, Sarah is thrust into a race controversy at her school when a black kid begins receiving notes on his door addressing him as “Little Sambo,” and later, a noose outside of his dorm room. The incidents prompt a college-wide racial seminar so patronizing as to raise the furor of the small minority population at the college.

Things are further “complicated” when a black reporter (Forrest Gump’s Mykelti Williamson) gets involved — his news reports have the effect of heightening the on-campus tension, which is further exacerbated when a Nuyorican is encouraged by the dean to classify himself as Puerto Rican in order to more easily qualify for a minority-based scholarship. The Nuyorican is outraged.

And that’s it — the complete sum of the developments that propel the narrative forward, like a Matchbox car fueled by self-righteousness. A racist note, a noose, and a racial misclassification. There is no real violence in Spinning into Butter — there are only those three incidents and the awkward campus “debate” that ensues. That debate revolves largely around Sarah’s own issues with race, stemming from her experience as the dean of students at a larger, urban college. Was she assaulted by a black person? Raped? Harmed, or even threatened? No. She had simply become intimidated by a few, isolated “incredibly loud, stinky black people” with “stupid hair.” The movie itself is less about the racist incidents, and more about the dean’s attempts to justify her own racism, but even that gives too much credit to what’s going on here, and how James Rebhorn, Beau Bridges, Miranda Richardson, and even Sarah Jessica Parker got involved is something of a mystery.


And if you doubt the veracity of this review, you need only check out the trailer yourself:


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Comments

"Rebecca Gilman"

That there is your problem. What a hack. My husband just worked on another of her plays - Blue Surge, which is a disaster of a script - dull, obvious, and insulting to a thinking audience - dare I say, "Haggis-esque"?

She gives female playwrights a bad name. It's already a goddamned tough business for us, lady, without your platitudes and shallow excuses for insight cluttering up the stage. GOODY, now she's broken into film! Let's hope it doesn't last.

Posted by: Tammy at March 26, 2009 11:12 AM

Wow, that was actually kind of insulting. (the trailer)

Posted by: admin at March 26, 2009 11:16 AM

Apparently the brown hair is also proof that Ashely Tisdale is "throwing off her good-girl image". Real or not she looked better blonde, so I'm left underwhelmed. "More" and "Shape" totally win over "Cosmopolitan" for attractive covers.

Oh, right, a movie with that Parker woman. I'm not going to watch it. Poor Beau Bridges. Anyone see "Sordid Lives"? A small group of us walked in having missed the opening cast credits with no idea of what the movie was about either, just a spur-of-the-moment "let's see what's at the arthouse" so every single person and plotline was a surprise, and very enjoyable at that.

Posted by: Jay at March 26, 2009 11:26 AM

This is a modern film? That came out recently? And it used the term "Little Sambo" from the mouth of High Schoolers? High Schoolers know what that is? No they don't. I call bullshit.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 26, 2009 11:26 AM

Ugh.

Posted by: jM at March 26, 2009 11:30 AM

Please PLEEASE stop hiring this sea monster!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 26, 2009 11:35 AM

You know what sucked...twice a film starring her invaded my humble college campus. The first one sucked the big one, I have no doubt this one will too. (Though I did get to cover The Family Stone's filming for the college paper. Dermot Mulroney is a pretty cool guy.)

Posted by: Mike R. at March 26, 2009 11:45 AM

"which is further exacerbated when a Nuyorican is encouraged by the dean to classify himself as Puerto Rican in order to more easily qualify for a minority-based scholarship"

Why is this an outrage in the first place? Isn't it more like a tip?

Posted by: samantha t at March 26, 2009 11:45 AM

Dated? I'm old, and even I didn't get what the title "Spinning Into Butter" meant. That's probably because my mother had the good sense NOT to read me the Sambo story. (It has to do with the tigers chasing Sambo run around a tree so fast that they spin themselves into butter. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me, either.)

My mother taught me:

Eeny meenie mynee moe,
Catch a tiger by the toe,
If he growls, let him go,
Eeny meenie mynee moe.

Thanks, Mom.

Posted by: BWeaves at March 26, 2009 12:00 PM

Okay, is this movie supposed to be from 1991? Becuase that's some shit that would've happened when I was in college.

Posted by: samantha t at March 26, 2009 12:04 PM

"Spinning into Butter stars Sarah Jessica Parker ..."

There's your problem, right there.

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 26, 2009 1:02 PM

I read the Sambo story on a paper placemat at a restaurant called Sambo's. Little Black Sambo was their adorable cartoon mascot. And this was in, like, 1981.

Posted by: Melodie at March 26, 2009 1:02 PM

Wait.... I'm confused.

A Nuyorican is a Puerto Rican from New York City. How then is a Nuyorican identifying him or herself as a Puerto Rican 'Racial Misidentification'?

Am I out of some loop here? Did things change in the ten or so years since I worked in predominantly Puerto Rican offices (many of said Puerto Ricans happily calling themselves New-Yor[k]icans)...

Is this some other ethnic type that has appropriated the name?

I am so confused.

Posted by: Spike at March 26, 2009 1:03 PM

Oops, didn't mean to crib that line from Tammy, just went straight to the bottom of the comments soon's I saw SJPbiscuit was involved in this.

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 26, 2009 1:08 PM

I read the Sambo story on a paper placemat at a restaurant called Sambo's. Little Black Sambo was their adorable cartoon mascot. And this was in, like, 1981.

Posted by: Melodie at March 26, 2009 1:02 PM
---
Yeah, "Sambo's" changed the name to "No Place Like Sam's" to try to deflect some of the criticism, but eventually went out of business anyway.

My in-laws once gave my daughter a stack of children's books, and in looking through them I came across "Little Black Sambo." Uh-oh, I thought. Gotta veto this one. But I hadn't read the book in ages and so I did.

I know it's useless now to debate this, "Sambo" has been a derogatory term for so long nobody is going to want to hear it. But in the illustrations in the book I saw, the black people were rendered as normal-lloking people, not big-lipped charicatures. They wore beautiful, obviously expensive clothing and lived in a fine house. Sam came from a two-parent family (!) and his father obviously had a good job. The dialogue was in standard (not pidgin) English, no "Oh, Massa Tiguh, watchyoo gon' do?" stuff. And of course Sam, either by luck or by his wits, outsmarts the greedy animals (white overseers?) who would steal his fine clothes.

All of which made me think: Damn, there must have been some horribly degrading and insulting earlier versions of this thing to make it such a hated term, but I sure don't see that here.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 26, 2009 1:18 PM

Just for clarification: Puertorricans are NOT a race.

There are White Puertorricans
There are Black Puertorricans

and there are mixed Puertorricans

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 26, 2009 1:34 PM

It addresses racial issues so simplistically and presents them as so profound as to almost become a racist movie itself, like a geriatric junior high teacher gravely warning her students that “coloreds” is no longer an acceptable term of African Americans.

Wow, I didn't think they'd remake "Crash" so soon.

Posted by: figgy at March 26, 2009 1:39 PM

My grandmother gave my parents Little Black Sambo to read to my siblings and me when we were little, and it was one of our favourite books. To this day, I can still recite bits of it by heart. It's a really charming, nonsensical story full of madness that's really appealing to children.

I explained to my grandmother and my parents very recently that it's a racist book and they probably shouldn't have read it to us, and it caused a huge argument in the family. I'm astounded that anyone in 1999 might have been called Sambo by anyone; it's just writerly bullshit. As for the book, I have real nostalgia for it even though I know it is wrong and offensive.

Posted by: Caspar at March 26, 2009 1:44 PM

I think Puerto Ricans have great asses, the ladies from Brazil also. I don't like flat asses. I had this Cuban woman in Miami once, her ass was like the second coming. I like the latin women that do porn, those asses are like butta.

Posted by: Pookie at March 26, 2009 1:48 PM

writerly bullshit

That is Gillman to a T. Her dialogue is nonsensical - no one talks the way she writes - and the conflicts she invents are contrived as hell. Blue Surge purportedly revolves around class issues, but her characters, my God! It's like she's never been out of the suburbs a day in her life! "I'm gonna write a play about the struggles of overcoming POVERTY! Then people will think I am IMPORTANT!"

She's the next Haggis, folks - and she must be stopped!

Posted by: Tammy at March 26, 2009 1:52 PM

They (The Man, the U.S. Army) made me classify myself not only as Puerto Rican, but either a black or white Puerto Rican. They had no box for 'kinda in the middle,' which I am, but since I have fair skin they checked 'caucasian.' Unlike the kid in this shit show of a movie, I cared less. It's for census purposes, so again, I don't give a shit. People can be overly sensitive. If someone offered me a scholarship for being Puerto Rican, I'd take the money and spend it on 1) tuition 2) books 3) all the empanadas, shivs, Daddy Yankee albums, and rice & beans my little heart desires. True story.

Posted by: Porkchop at March 26, 2009 2:31 PM

It addresses racial issues so simplistically and presents them as so profound as to almost become a racist movie itself, like a geriatric junior high teacher gravely warning her students that “coloreds” is no longer an acceptable term of African Americans.

I actually *had* to explain this to one of my students the other day. In the middle of an eleventh grade class discussion about Their Eyes were Watching God he says, "And the colored people..." and I was like, "No, Oscar, just.... no." *Sigh* Does that make me geriatric? 'Cause I'm only 26, and that would just depress me more than finding the first little lines of crow's feet did the other day.

Posted by: Ariel at March 26, 2009 2:32 PM

3) all the empanadas, shivs, Daddy Yankee albums, and rice & beans my little heart desires. True story.

Posted by: Porkchop at March 26, 2009 2:31 PM

----------------------------------------------

*HI-FIVE*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 26, 2009 2:48 PM

Ariel, if saying "colored" is a risk accompanying reading Zora in high school, it's a risk I hope my kids' teachers will take!

Posted by: samantha t at March 26, 2009 6:26 PM

samantha, the depressing part is that we live in a VERY multicultural and highly-educated East Coast city, and the student in question is himself a person of color. One step at a time, I suppose.... and thanks for the kudos. She's such an underrated author, and my classes are enjoying the book so much. I just hope they'll like Gatsby half as much!

Posted by: Ariel at March 26, 2009 6:58 PM

Soooo lemme get this straight - the movie is about a black kid getting threatened and harrassed, and his school mishandles it, and the *protagonist* is the clueless white dean? Ouch.

Also, I'm sorry, but no Freedom Rider would call black students "you people." Not that a Freedom Rider couldn't have race issues, but they would know enough not to use that kind of language.

AND! The titles - "There are no secrets that cannot be kept" - WTF does that even mean???

This made my head hurt.

Posted by: Sarah at March 26, 2009 8:04 PM

True story, a very similar incident happened at my school last year and the year before with nooses and the like. My liberal arts school also did the same with campus wide forums and sit ins. No media coverage though, because they're old enough, rich enough and powerful enough to cover shit up.

Also the Dean of Freshman kinda looks like Miranda Richardson.

Posted by: lookethatmyface at March 26, 2009 8:37 PM

Just for clarification: Puertorricans are NOT a race.

There are White Puertorricans
There are Black Puertorricans

and there are mixed Puertorricans


Huh?

Puerto Ricans come from Puerto Rico, they learn spanish as their first language and english as their second. Nuyoricans are Puerto Ricans who settled in New York quite some time ago and their descendants. Many Puerto Rican born and raised people have no fondess towards Nuyoricans, and others are indifferent.

There is no white puerto rican or black puerto rican. You were either born there or you won't, or have relatives from there. The only people who divide themselves from the Puerto Rican population are Borinquen who can trace their lines back to the original natives of the Island before the spaniards/slaves got there.

Posted by: Wut at March 26, 2009 11:07 PM

I don't have anything clever to say other than this movie sounds capital "T" terrible.

However, that reference to Daddy Yankee made my day. Remember when he announced his support of McCain? One of my favorite election moments. Having the 2000 year-old man try to seem hip was delightful.

Also, I now want empanadas, and porkchops. Mmmmm porkchops!

Posted by: Park at March 27, 2009 11:48 AM

Sarah: perhaps "you people" should be in the TV cliche thread? I have never, ever heard somebody use it, yet it's always the catalyst for a big ol' race war in the movies/on TV.

Posted by: samantha t at March 27, 2009 3:21 PM

You people just don't get it. It's a movie where Sarah Jessica Parker is supposed to be a little awkward due to her intentions not lining up with her subconcious. This movie is about how people need to look within to begin the healing of racial injustices. Stop pointing their fingers and owning up to their own persona, way of thinking and their misguided behaviors. You don't have to be blind to see this movie is more than just about race.

Posted by: A Cruz at March 27, 2009 7:03 PM