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A Series of Understatements

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (36)



Saw-3D-TV-Spot.jpg

After following the trials and tribulations of the Jigsaw Killer through seven Saw films, one conclusion at this point seems inescapable: John Kramer was not a very nice man. In fact, he was a troubled person. He was a civil engineer, and though he was a decent family man for most of his life, the frontal lobe tumor that developed from unfortunate colon cancer might have scarred the gentleman psychologically. He may have been very well intentioned, but his means were misguided. It’s easy to understand why, after a failed suicide attempt, he’d have a renewed sense of life and purpose, but perhaps his desires to instill that same renewal in other people were ill-advised. He might have considered providing self-help books to his victims instead putting them through the rigors of his games, where more often than not, these flawed individuals would find themselves mutilated, punctured, or divided into multiple segments. This is no way to treat the human body, sir. Certainly, while the reward is very high — the victims could unearth their own survival instincts — the risks seemed disproportionate to ultimate reward. Mr. Kramer, given his profession, should’ve understood the statistical probabilities behind these elaborate shenanigans.

Granted, at one point the Jigsaw Killer was denied a health-coverage claim that might have saved his life, but while many of us might sympathize with his plight, it seems unreasonable to put an insurance executive through a series of tasks that involved allowing others to die unnecessarily only, in the end, to watch that poor executive pumped full of hyrdoflouric acid, which dissolved him from the inside. There’s a grievance and appeals process that Mr. Kramer should’ve availed himself of before ending the lives of those people. Likewise, Mr. Kramer could’ve properly notified the authorities when dealing with those insidious individuals involved in a disastrous fire instead of putting them through a series of games designed to test their ability to work together. After all, there are corporate retreats that teach similar skills and at substantially less costs to human lives. Mr. Kramer unfortunately never understood that we are only human. Some of us may, on occasion, lie or cheat on a loved one. However, a bear trap designed to snap someone’s jaw apart seems somewhat excessive punishment in light of the circumstances.

Another thing: After he was diagnosed with cancer, Mr. Kramer might’ve been better served in fulfilling his bucket list instead of meddling in the lives of others. With the proper diet and self-care, he probably could’ve extended his life for a few months, or even years, instead of meeting his untimely death. A power saw is such an unfortunate way to go out. Nevertheless, that Mr. Kramer would leave a tape recording in his stomach providing instructions to his accomplices, in addition to a series of tapes and envelopes he left to both an accomplice and his ex-wife, leads one to imagine that Mr. Kramer perhaps had too much time on his hands. Who thinks of all these things? Mr. Kramer must have had a very skilled trusts and estates lawyer to assist him in these matters.

That brings us to Saw 3D, the 7th film in the franchise. Poor Mr. Kramer: He had so many personal slights he needed to avenge, and even in death, the man simply can’t let go. Once again, Mr. Hoffman — who cleverly survived the bear trap that Kramer’s ex-wife left in his mouth in the last film — is carrying out the Jigsaw Killer’s wishes. It seems that a certain individual lied about having survived a Jigsaw Killer trap, and he and his handlers made a mint writing a self-help book about those made-up experiences. Mr. Kramer, rather than resting peacefully in the afterlife, simply could not abide this, so Mr. Hoffman set up another game, similar to those in previous movies only slightly heightened while wearing the 3D glasses provided by the theater at an additional cost. The author that fabricated the story had then to attempt to save his publicist, his lawyer, his agent, and his wife from games that seem better suited to test his threshold of pain than his survival instinct. He often fails, however, and it is his friends who have to suffer, be it by neck puncture or conflagration.

In Saw 3D, the former cop, Mr. Hoffman, no longer seems to be working within the spirit of Mr. Kramer’s moral code. There’s a certain disregard to human life behind Mr. Hoffman’s motivations. Fortunately, Mr. Kramer made contingency plans for even this. What foresight! No one certainly could accuse the Jigsaw Killer of not planning for a number of certain scenarios. But one wonders if he’d put that much effort into his marriage and into fighting his insurer, perhaps he’d still be alive today and happily married! Better still, the police would’ve been spared many lives and multiple investigations footed by we, the taxpayers.

But who are we to judge? I’m sure there are many among us who have imagined putting a certain co-worker, a disloyal friend, an unfaithful companion, or annoying family member through similar trials in the hopes that they, too, could become better people with more appreciation for their lives. Perhaps it is we who are flawed for not having the courage and intelligence to follow through on our own macabre designs. Maybe we should be celebrating the Jigsaw Killer — here’s a man with a six-year plan, and not even his own death could prevent him from carrying it out. What spirit! What determination! It is my only hope that he had no other accomplices or slights to pursue so that he may finally rest in peace, although the events at the end of Saw 3D perhaps suggest otherwise, despite a certain studio’s insistence that this would be the last in the series.

I suppose we’ll find out the real truth next Halloween.









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Comments

Mr. Rowles has done a better than satisfactory job in reviewing this film. The consistently good quality of his writing is pleasing to me. I quietly hope that I have the opportunity to read more of his work. It is pleasant to read the results, when he chooses a particular idiom with which to write about a movie. Good job.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 29, 2010 3:35 PM

...

Posted by: Sam at October 29, 2010 3:39 PM

Can someone tell me why we didn't hire Jigsaw to run Wall Street, the Pentagon or FEMA? His powers of foresight seem wasted on these trivial matters!

Posted by: Fredo at October 29, 2010 3:45 PM

Wait. This might NOT be the last one? I'm shocked and/or surprised. I would implore you to include a Spoiler Alert before such reviews, sir.

Posted by: Paultera at October 29, 2010 3:48 PM

So I read the title of this article as "A series of underpants"

Imagine my disappointment....

Posted by: meh at October 29, 2010 3:50 PM

Meh - Given the content of the film, they probably would have been bloodsoaked anyway.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 29, 2010 4:07 PM

so, we've already had a Saw discussion, but btw Fredo FTW.

i just caught up on the latest episode of caprica and cant find anywhere to comment on it. this geek went all weak in the knees seeing the taurons launch a cylon into gang warfare, and have it answer "by your command". I was just happy all over and had no one to share it with, so here i am in a redundant Saw review talking about a cancelled tv show.

yep

Posted by: idleprimate at October 29, 2010 4:10 PM

You silly geese! Of course the series isn't dead yet! Shia LaBeouf has yet to be cast as the mastermind's protege/estranged son...

Posted by: shanmarie at October 29, 2010 4:12 PM

For deeper insight into this killer's mind, check out the liveblog Jigsaw wrote while watching his enemy film, Paranormal Activity.

Posted by: doktorpeace at October 29, 2010 4:57 PM

Whoops I didn't give the link for the Jigsaw blog - http://www.theblogulator.com/2010/10/special-guest-post-jigsaw-killer-live.html

Posted by: doktorpeace at October 29, 2010 4:59 PM

Now all we need is for the greatly anticipated next Saw film to be filmed with a shaky cam. I'm sure this technique, when combined with 3D technology, will offer a much more realistic experience. (And induce epileptic fits and extreme headaches, but that's just a bonus.)

Posted by: SpacemanSpiff at October 29, 2010 5:46 PM

Interesting article, though I question it actually being a review. While Dustin provides enough information not readily available yet to indicate he saw the film, for some reason he chooses not to address it directly. The few lines dealing with the current film make no effort to explore what was put on the screen. There is no comment on the poorly executed 3D content, the horribly inconsistent acting, or the new characters who crawl out of the woodwork just to be lined up as victims in another series of group traps.

The article actually seems like a facetious examination of a much-maligned series, a strange counterpoint to Courtney's well-written defense of why people would watch it. Her defense did not cast judgment on those who have no interest in watching the films in a very different way from how this article mockingly accepts those interested in the series.

I am going to try one more time to make a few things clear about the Saw films. If you are rooting for Jigsaw, you aren't watching these films for the right reason. If Hoffman going rogue gets you all hot and bothered, you really missed the point of these films. And if this film inspires visions of revenge on people you know, you might have deeper issues. There is nothing admirable about the killer, his apprentice, his accomplice, or the ass they rode in on. The series hinges on the audience--the fans--actually empathizing with the victims who never intentionally harmed this madman. Saw 3D failed miserably at this and deserves harsh criticism for essentially repeating the previous film's formula beat for beat with only cosmetic variations.

Posted by: Robert at October 29, 2010 6:28 PM

That is the plot of these films? Seriously? Wow. I know the plot is not why people watch these movies, but still.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at October 29, 2010 7:18 PM

"...frontal lobe tumor that developed from unfortunate colon cancer..."

So, Kramer had his head up his ass? Explains a lot ...

Posted by: The Wanderer at October 29, 2010 7:26 PM

I once had a roommate who forced me to watch Saw and was then horrified by my lack of ability to understand the clever morality of the tale. "But don't you see," she exclaimed, "that he was really trying to help them? He was teaching them a lesson." Yeah. But that wasn't the real point. And it seems to lose that more and more with each movie.

Posted by: Jenilane at October 30, 2010 1:19 AM

I read this review out loud to Mr. DaC just for the incessant "THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" cries. Mm, delicious tears.

Posted by: duckandcover at October 30, 2010 3:06 AM

You mean to tell me there's a point? I long ago lost any interest in splatter, and while I don't begrudge anyone else the same sort of fix that I used to enjoy, isn't "yeah, yeah, man's inhumanity to man, blah, blah, now bring on the gore" enough of a point?

Favorite line of review:

There’s a grievance and appeals process that Mr. Kramer should’ve availed himself of before ending the lives of those people.

Heh.

Posted by: sansho1 at October 30, 2010 9:49 AM

I like that the header pic could easily be mistaken for a Linkin Park video screenshot what with Chester Bennington emoting strenuously and all.

Posted by: TylerDFC at October 30, 2010 10:10 AM

But it's 3D!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 30, 2010 11:01 AM

I was thinking this was brilliant, until Robert ruined it for me with facts and logic.

Fuck you very much, Robert.

Posted by: , at October 30, 2010 11:18 AM

@Robert I'll agree that the first and maybe second Saw films had merit--they were more than the gore contained and had many levels open for interpretation--when a movie has reached its seventh rendition it's nothing more than a cash grab. (The only exception being if the storyline had been intended, all along, to be a seven-part series, which Saw was not.) Really, the whole point of this movie was conveyed, clearly and, in my opinion, excellently, within the first movie. Nothing that has come since has improved upon the original.

So, does the seventh movie really deserve a review that dissects and analyzes?

Posted by: Lindsay at October 30, 2010 11:49 AM

the poorly executed 3D content, the horribly inconsistent acting, or the new characters who crawl out of the woodwork just to be lined up as victims in another series of group traps.

Given the history of low budgets for Saw movies, isn't this implied? It's why they keep getting made -- low-budget + high box office = profitability.

It's why the 3D likely sucks. It's post-conversion 3D a la Clash of the Titans or The Last Airbender. I doubt Lionsgate paid for the 3D cameras from Avatar to make this movie.

It's also why they'll be back with new Saw movies in a few years. They don't cost much to make, are easily malleable to the popular tech of their day and it's not like people are really concerned about the mythos.

Posted by: Fredo at October 30, 2010 3:54 PM

I never saw any of these movies.

Posted by: Lucas at October 30, 2010 10:56 PM

Hmm, Dustin reviewing the 3D entry in a film franchise that he doesn't like in the least but still has a considerably vocal fanbase on the site?

I thought this was his usual half-sarcastic and somewhat clever alternative reviews, rather than doing the intellectual analysis or the invective-fueled rant.

Plus, I have yet to read anything that indicates the film deserves more serious consideration.

Posted by: Vermillion at October 31, 2010 12:49 AM

Spoiler?

I walked out on this in the first 30 minutes, right after I watched Donnie Wahlberg pull a chunk of a woman's stomach out through her esophagus, only to watch a steady shot of her throat getting punctured like a balloon anyway.

I still don't think people are psychopaths for being entertained by these kind of movies, but damn if I don't have any psychological hooks to hang that on. I feel like I die a little every time I watch someone else meet their end, and this just isn't worth that kind of pain.

Posted by: Ian at October 31, 2010 3:57 AM

"But who are we to judge?"

Gave this that extra little nudge from funny/memorable to one of the better reviews of the year. Well done, sir!

Posted by: toddler dad at November 1, 2010 11:09 AM

I never saw any of these movies.
Posted by: Lucas at October 30, 2010 10:56 PM

I "saw" what you did there.

Posted by: Odnon. at November 2, 2010 2:26 PM

"Did you see Saw?"
"Yeah I saw Saw."
"Did you see Saw 2?"
"Yes, I saw Saw 2, too"
"Did you see Saw 3?"
"No, but I saw Saw 4"
"What did you see Saw 4 before you saw Saw 3 for?"

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Posted by: Vonnie Weinfeld at November 4, 2010 9:31 PM

Um, so I just thought that someone died via vibrator in this film. Then I realized what the eff I just read. I hate comment spam.

Yeah, so I stopped watching this series after Saw 4. Every time I caught a trailer for a new one, I was like, "Seriously? Another one?"

Jesus. This series needs to be done already.

Posted by: what the hell at November 10, 2010 5:58 PM

Well Said!

Couldn't have said it better!

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