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Rex Reed Interviews Melissa McCarthy About Her New Movie, The Heat

By Dustin Rowles | Film Reviews | June 28, 2013 | Comments ()


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Rex Reed: Um. Hi Melissa. This is awkward.

Melissa McCarthy: Awkward? Why?

Reed: Well, you know, because I said those things about you in my review for Identity Thief.

McCarthy: What things?

Reed: Uh, that I called you a "tractor-sized" "female hippo"?

McCarthy: Oh, that was you? I heard about that. What was your name again?

Reed: Rex Reed.

McCarthy: Oh, I thought you'd retired! Like 30 years ago.

Reed: No. I'm still reviewing. Remember, I wrote that thing about you being "obese and obnoxious"?

McCarthy: No. Doesn't ring a bell. What outfit do you write for?

Reed: The New York Observer.

McCarthy: Oh wow! I haven't read that since its "Sex and the City" days. I had no idea it was still around. Good for you! Why would your editor put you up to this interview if you'd called me those things? One last gasp at relevance?

Reed: Not exactly. It is my job.

McCarthy: For a little while longer, huh? How much they pay you to subject yourself to this?

Reed: Two hundred dollars.

McCarthy: I made $10 million for The Heat. You need me to loan you some money?

scarves-rex-reed.jpg

Reed: That won't be necessary.

McCarthy: Are you sure? Because that suit you're wearing looks like something you took from the set of The Birdcage. You could probably use a little updating.

Reed: Can we just talk about the movie and maybe leave my attire out of this?

McCarthy: I apologize. I was under the mistaken impression that how a person looked was crucial to their job performance.

Reed: That's not what I said.

McCarthy: No, I believe what you said was that my obesity is "about as amusing as cancer."

Reed: Yes, I did say that.

McCarthy: Roger Ebert was obese for most of his life, and he died of cancer.

Reed: What does that have to do with anything?

McCarthy: Nothing, really. I was just thinking how much better the world would be if there were more Roger Eberts in it and fewer ... what was your name again?

Reed: You know what my name is.

McCarthy: Oh right. Sometimes, bloviating douchebaggery short circuits my noggin. So what did you think of my movie? Did you find it amusing?

Reed: No. I did not.

McCarthy: Did the coarse language offend your delicate sensibilities?

Reed: As a matter of fact, I found it quite unsavory, something that might only appeal to the youths and their skateboards and their XBoxes.

McCarthy: (scans room, looks under chair, around the table)

Reed: What are you doing?

McCarthy: Oh, I'm looking for your relevance. I figure it has to be somewhere around here, probably in a tiny jar next to your balls.

Reed: That's uncalled for.

McCarthy: You know what else is uncalled for?

Reed: What?

McCarthy: The opinion on contemporary film from a man who got caught shoplifting Mel Tormé CDs.

Reed: That was ten years ago!

McCarthy: Oh, I apologize. Was Mel Tormé all the rage back in 2000? You do know that he was overweight for much of his life. Did you also find his music to be as amusing as cancer?

Reed: This is really neither here nor there. We've gotten way off topic. Can we talk about your movie, please?

McCarthy: Sure. It's called The Heat. Me and Sandy Bullock are in it. It's hilarious.

Reed: I'll be the judge of that.

McCarthy: Oh, I'm sure that the world is just beating down doors to get your opinion on it. Wives are probably saying to their husbands right now, 'Honey, I heard Melissa McCarthy is fantastic in The Heat. We should really check that out,' and their husbands are like, 'Oh, but let's wait and see what Rex Reed has to say before we commit.'

Reed: There are plenty of people who rely on my opinion before watching a movie.

McCarthy: Oh, really. Do you think they listened to you when you trashed Cabin in the Woods? Oldboy? Moonrise Kingdom? Or 50/50? Who trashes 50/50? You walked out of that movie! That right there invalidates all your opinions on cancer and comedy.

Reed: That movie was "tasteless" and "irresponsible" and Seth Rogen is "a disgusting moron."

McCarthy: I rest my case.

Reed: I'm not very fond of your hostility.

McCarthy: I'm not very fond of your personality.

Reed: I'm sorry that your feelings are hurt because I don't think that being fat makes you funny.

McCarthy: You're right. Being funny makes you funny, and it has nothing to do with one's weight. But you could be 100 pounds or 300 pounds, and you'd still be a horrible human being.

Reed: ...

McCarthy: How much did you say your newspaper was paying you for this interview?

Reed:: $200.

McCarthy: If I pay you $300, will you go fuck yourself? [drops mic. walks out]

****

Melissa McCarthy co-stars with Sandra Bullock in The Heat, opening today. You should see it. While it is largely a derivative buddy cop movie, McCarthy is hilarious in it, but only if you find boldly crass lines delivered with brutal fervor and perfect comic timing to be hilarious. Sandra Bullock is OK in it, too.


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Some Guy

    Your funny review aside, the movie itself sucked. A lot. Just having a funny person you want to be in a movie isn't reason enough to make that movie. Movies need a script, with a plot, with actions and exposition that make sense.

    The Heat was an excuse for McCarthy to adlib her lines, and she did an excellent job doing so. Too bad they used all her best lines in the previews.

    rent it.

  • bbmcrae

    I'm proud to say my friend and I sat behind Rex Reed at a screening of CABIN IN THE WOODS. We laughed and whooped throughout it. I was delighted to see his scathing, cranky review, which got the plot completely wrong (he said it was about a company testing a video game, I swear), and referred to us as "fanboys". It was delightful! In his mind I was a skateboarding punk in a Hulk tee ruining movies and messing up his lawn. Thanks for the gift of your disapproval, Rex Reed!

    Oh, and he laughed out loud at least 3 times during the movie.

  • Milly

    I remember being out on the lash as a teenager and one of my mates was a wee bit on the chubby side - it was the 90s where being fat wasn't as prevalent as it is today - and some gobshite had a go at him. He was fat this, and fat that and blah blah blah.

    My mate stayed calm about - I would have lost my rag - and gave the perfect response of "Yeah, I'm fat but I could go on a diet. You're a (expletive deleted as pajiba doesn't approve of that word) and you'll always be a (edapdpotw)".

    Mate took his girlfriend by the hand and walked away as we all started pissing ourselves with laughter.

  • googergieger

    Rex Reed is a pretty cool name though. Like remember when porno names were classy? Like, Blake Sexington. Or, Blast Hardcheese. Or Rex Dart: Eskimo Spy.

  • kirbyjay

    or Lance Boyle

  • BlackRabbit

    I wonder if it's a name he gave himself, and his real name is something like "Elwyn Periwinkle." Or "Gilman Balzlic."

  • The Critic mocked Rex Reed's irrelevance to film criticism constantly. It was a running joke that he was a hack. In one episode, he replaced Jay Sherman and the head of the network couldn't wait to get rid of him; he got addicted to a racist brand of chewing tobacco and just sat onset singing the theme song.

    Right now, Reed is grasping for relevance through trolling. It's not even sad how far he fell since he was more of a recognizable critic than a respected one even in his heyday.

  • John W

    I want to see her throat punch him like she did Jason Bateman in Identity Thief.

    Is that wrong?

  • Ginger

    I want to fuck this review.

  • Maguita NYC

    Don't think poor ol' Rex's bones could take it.

  • Steph

    This Rex Reed guy is obviously a total dick but c'mon, let's not pretend like Melissa McCarthy is totally awesome. This film looks like a complete turd, just like her last couple.

  • dizzylucy

    Gilmore gets her a lifetime pass from me. Bridesmaids, SNL and her attitude in dealing with Reed get her bonus points.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Just because her movies haven't been as good as we'd hope does not make her any less awesome (although Dustin clarifies she is great in this one). You're as good as the best thing you've ever done: She was Sookie on The Gilmore Girls, her Sookie was awesome, ergo Melissa McCarthy is awesome.

  • Steph

    I thought she was fine on Gilmore Girls, not good enough to earn her a lifetime pass though. I just think it's weird that this site loves her when her last like five roles have been the same annoying character in a bunch of crap comedies. Nothing against her personally and obviously personal comments about her weight are over the line.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Oh well, a chacun son gout.

    Technically, my lifetime pass comes from the crush sketch she did on SNL, but Sookie teed it up.

    Also, I just want to see talent triumph.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Friendly hint, Mrs. J.: You've used this expression several times, and as a French Canadian, I wish to point out that you have an extra "à". It should be either
    "À chacun son goût" or "Chacun à son goût".

    Cheers!

  • Mrs. Julien

    Thank you! You know how I love to be correct.

  • Uriah_Creep

    And I do love to correct.

  • Eva

    I could totally hear Melissa McCarthy's voice saying ALL of that. Bravo!

  • Monica

    This was fun.

  • Meli_V

    I want this to be real so badly that I'm going to pretend it really did happen.

  • lowercase_ryan

    THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

  • JJtheJetPlane

    So...was The Heat any good? I like these kind of interviews and all (like you did with Hangover 3) but this one tells you absolutely nothing about the film.

  • anikitty

    Melissa McCarthy co-stars with Sandra Bullock in The Heat, opening today. You should see it. While it is largely a derivative buddy cop movie, McCarthy is hilarious in it, but only if you find boldly crass lines delivered with brutal fervor and perfect comic timing to be hilarious. Sandra Bullock is OK in it, too.

  • jollies

    Thanks! I always forget to read the footnotes.

  • anikitty

    From the review above

  • firedmyass

    This was so awesome it made me briefly forget how hungover I am...

  • Rykker

    Yay, Melissa!
    I hope this goes viral like the Brad Cooper interview did.

  • Guest

    I'm pretty certain this is a work of fiction, not an actual interview.

  • Rykker

    Well aware of that, which is why I hope it goes viral like the Brad Cooper interview (also fiction) did.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Hey Rykker!

  • Rykker

    Hey Mrs. J!

  • Desine77

    I would love to have seen this.

  • NateMan

    Wow. I knew he was a douche, but slamming on 50/50 like that (just read the review) is the icing on the shitcake that is Reed's personality.

  • Maguita NYC

    "Sometimes, bloviating douchebaggery short circuits my noggin."

    Turns out, "Melissa's" comment was much more appropriate than at first read. Great job Dustin, this is one of your best "interviews"... If only Ms. McCarthy could actually comment on it (or even funnier, Rex Reed).

    Also, a sidenote on The Heat reviews vs. World War Z: I've read most of them on Rotten Tomatoes, and although I haven't seen The Heat yet, I can honestly state WWZ was a dizzying erratic piece of shit. Especially when you've been a fan of the book. The reviews were much too kind, and definitely off when it came to Pitt's performance.

    I'll be watching The Heat over the week-end, and I pray I won't be calling most movie critics sexist pigs. Because of the critiques were hardly veiled bias.

  • The Heat isn't bad. It's not a great film, but it has some solidly funny scenes, and I appreciated that the female leads were never sold only on their sexual appeal or their ability to "kick ass" (i.e. fly around on wires and act like they're actually doing things that are not possible because of physics). The violence mostly makes sense and is handled appropriately, and both characters are more than competent at their jobs, which is why they succeed. Are their silly moments? Is the writing sometimes meh? Sure. But it's surprisingly decent. McCarthy even gets a chance to shine with some real empathy built into her character. It was worth a matinee viewing.

  • jlc1967

    I sort of did a double take on that line myself. He didn't like 50/50? Whaaa? (Not gonna bother reading the review.)

  • Mrs. Julien

    There's a Zasu Pitts reference. Are you tempted now?

  • Jim

    Oh Melissa Melissa Melissa, he'd have done it for $225! You're a sweet, funny girl and a great actress but we really have to punch up your negotiation skills, angel.

    PS Dustin that PHOTO! Really! Uncalled for! Carol Channing is an international treasure and that pic makes her look like shit.

  • Maya

    Sorry to be That Person, but...Melissa McCarthy is 42 years old. She's not a "girl" by any standard.

    Your comment is still funny and awesome and deserving of all the thumbs-ups, but the whole 'women being referred to as girls' thing is a pet peeve of mine and most of the time we don't even realize we're doing it. Just thought it was worth pointing out.

  • firedmyass

    What about "gal"? Does that seem dismissive or patronizing?

    (I am sincerely asking, not trying to be an ass. This is infrequent.)

  • Alarmjaguar

    I often use gal if I'm using guy -- seems fair.

  • Jim

    I'm sorry, I misspelled "gurl" - but I also see your point.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Thank you! It's a pet peeve of mine, too. The older I grow, the more peeved I get.

  • Michelle

    Agreed.

  • cgthegeek

    perfection.

  • BWeaves

    Dustin and his fever dreams. If only this was true.

    I lost all respect for Reed after his Marisa Tomei debacle.

  • PDamian

    I really, honestly, truly thought he was dead. I have a very dim recollection of him from the mid-1970s; I think he was on some talk show. Back then, the only thing I bothered to notice was anything Star Wars-related, so he must have said something about it, but I don't remember.

    As for people demanding he apologize -- why would he? This is the only heed anyone's given him in ages! Being a douchenozzle twit has for all intents and purposes resurrected him! And now that he's tasted the sweet, sweet nectar of public attention, even if it is opprobrium, he's not about to go back to his anonymous, non-relevant grave.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    When I need advice on fashionable 'kerchiefs, Rex Reed is the only critic whose work I read.

  • Jolie S. Evans

    like Joel replied I didnt even know that a mother can profit $4464 in 1 month on the computer. have you read this page w­w­w.K­E­P­2.c­o­m

  • emmelemm

    Trick question: there are no fashionable 'kerchiefs.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Damn it!

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