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Did The Razzies Nail It This Year?

By The Pajiba Staff | Film | January 22, 2018 |

By The Pajiba Staff | Film | January 22, 2018 |


Pirates-Caribbean-5.jpg

The Razzies are meant to thumb the nose at Hollywood’s back-patting and ego-pumping with a list of dubious honors for the worst cinema had to offer. But over the years, The Golden Raspberry Awards have proven less provocative, more mundane, swinging only at the low-hanging fruit that is Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, lazy franchise dreck, and anything Adam Sandler does. Which look, we get it. But as TK can tell you, there’s an art to slamming shit cinema the way it truly deserves.

Anyhow, amid some truly spectacular movies this year, there was also transparent, cash-grabbing garbage. And with their 2018 nominees the Razzies are pretty on point about calling out the worst offenders.

Worst Picture
Baywatch
The Emoji Movie
Fifty Shades Darker
The Mummy
Transformers XVII: The Last Knight

Our Thoughts: It was a year of solid contenders for this category, so it really was anybody’s game. Nonetheless, we’re still surprised The Book of Henry and The Layover didn’t make the cut.

Worst Actress
Katherine Heigl, Unforgettable
Dakota Johnson, Fifty Shades Darker
Jennifer Lawrence, mother!
Tyler Perry, BOO! 2: A Madea Halloween
Emma Watson, The Circle

Our Thoughts: Couple of things. First, it’s a gross and dumb joke to put Perry in this category just because he plays a woman in the Madea movies. Secondly, wow, The Circle came out last year. Thirdly, if Dakota Johnson is able to convince us she’s anything less than repulsed by her co-star Jamie Dornan, she deserves a goddamn medal.

Lastly, Scarlett Johansson was robbed. She diligently whitewashed Ghost In The Shell and turned in a performance that makes pine forests envy its woodeness. If there’s one award she deserves this year, it’s this one.

Worst Actor
Tom Cruise, The Mummy
Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean XIII: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Jamie Dornan, Fifty Shades Darker
Zac Efron, Baywatch
Mark Wahlberg, Daddy’s Home 2 and Transformers XVII: The Last Knight

Our Thoughts: Chef’s kiss.

Worst Supporting Actor
Javier Bardem, mother! and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Russell Crowe The Mummy
Josh Duhamel, Transformers XVII: The Last Knight
Mel Gibson, Daddy’s Home 2
Anthony Hopkins, Collide and Transformers XVII: The Last Knight

Our Thoughts: Okay, we get it. mother! was divisive and weird. This is where the Razzies gets tedious, thinking repetition alone is funny. Beyond that, we forgot Josh Duhamel was even in the new Transformers. Surely, there was someone more worthy of our collective scorn. How about Johnny Depp in Murder on the Orient Express? Spread the love scorn, is all we’re saying. There’s plenty to go around.

And look, we’ve never even heard of Collide, but Hopkins was goddamn amazing in The Last Knight, and we should thank godtopus that we got to witness him saying “dude” and bickering with a probably homicidal butler-bot.

Worst Supporting Actress
Kim Basinger, Fifty Shades Darker
Sofia Boutella, The Mummy
Laura Haddock, Transformers XVII: Last Knight
Goldie Hawn, Snatched
Susan Sarandon, A Bad Moms Christmas

Our Thoughts: Sarandon for the worst, always.

Worst Screen Combo
Any Combination of Two Characters, Two Sex Toys or Two Sexual Positions - Fifty Shades Darker
Any Combination of Two Humans, Two Robots or Two Explosions - Transformers XVII: Last Knight
Any Two Obnoxious Emojis - The Emoji Movie
Johnny Depp and His Worn Out Drunk Routine - Pirates of the Caribbean XIII: Dead Careers Tell No Tales
Tyler Perry and Either the Ratty Old Dress or Worn Out Wig - BOO! 2: A Madea Halloween

Our Thoughts: These jokes suck. But the Depp observation is dead-on.

Worst Remake, Ripoff or Sequel
Baywatch
BOO! 2: A Madea Halloween
Fifty Shades Darker
The Mummy
Transformers XVII: Last Knight

Our Thoughts: *cough* Ghost In the Shell *cough**cough**cough*Justice League*cough**cough**cough*

Worst screenplay
Baywatch
The Emoji Movie
Fifty Shades Darker
The Mummy
Transformers XVII: The Last Knight

Our Thoughts: Razzies, Imma let you finish. But The Book of Henry was the worst screenplay of all time!

Worst Director
Darren Aronofsky, mother!
Michael Bay, Transformers XVII: The Last Knight
James Foley, Fifty Shades Darker
Alex Kurtzman, The Mummy
Anthony Leonidis, The Emoji Movie

Our Thoughts: All-male nominees. Huh.

The Razzie winners will be announced on March 3rd, the day before the Oscars ceremony.



Kristy Puchko is the managing editor of Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter.



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