Pajiba

Why does Fanning agree to make the films she does? The Twilight sequel, that rape movie, this thing?

Fanning, normally you enter this when you're, you know, actually old! You're 1 year younger than me! You shouldn't agree to do this!

Eat some fuck!

You confirmed my first impressions gleaned from the trailer... pass on Push. Rather watch a director's cut DVD of Outlander than this shite.

I clicked on this review before the picture loaded and hoped this was a review of the presumably much superior film from Sundance.

Thanks for nothing, dial-up.

Wait, Dakota Fanning is older then seven? So she's like nine or what?

Is this is a re-release of Jumper?

Or maybe they just re shot it without Homo Vadersen?

And Chris Evans doesn't even take his shirt off? Is there any other reason to see a movie he's in?

I recent the cheap shot at Hilary Duff, she's....eh...."fantastic"

Anyway, she's still..ah..."fantastic"

What happened to you BSlim? You used to be "with" it. You used to be cool. You used to make innappropriate and offensive comments at exactlty the wrong time. You've changed man. You've changed.

Dakota's 18 right. Right?

If you think a little thing like "being legal" is stopping this little Hollywood degenerate from doing oral and double penetrations by now I've got a plane down in the Hudson I'd like to sell ya.

I am unsurprised, but still disappointed. I was hoping it would at least be worth watching as an XMen ripoff. Oh well, that's $11.50 I won't waste; I'll use it to see Coraline instead.

Speaking of which.... anybody gonna review that one today?

Be sure to go to a 3-D theater.

Damn! Damn, damn! I had high hopes for this one, though I should have known better.

Anything with Chris "cheesy grin and eyebrow raise" Evans couldn't be too stellar. Sigh.

Is the toothbrush sniffing bit real? That should have been in the trailer.

Yep, ain't nothing like a little Double Penetration to make one feel alive. Although I've tried threesomes they just don't do it for me. And besides, when your best friend is hitting it hard and making the whole bed shake along with you and the chick, you kinda get an uncomfortable feeling. I'll tell you something, after that failed experiment I was mentally scarred for a while.

Jay, dude, it has to be about the girl. Because if it isn't about the girl then we are going down a path that I can't go down. I need to lay down, I'm feeling queasy.

So, this movie was an abortion? I guess you felt right at home.

I like where this thread was heading about an hour and a half ago (BSlim), sorry to see it's gone back to being about the damn movie (BSlim).

But not for long, Rowles, not for long. I have some questions that need to be answered.

Has Rowles already done the incredibly random list of the most effed up child actors? How about we confine the list to this decade, just to narrow it down?

spending his days gambling and generally running around acting like a douchebiscuit

Just when I thought we had reached the end of the douche-permutations, you present the incredible gift of douchebiscuit.

Thank you, kind sire. I will no doubt be employing this soonest.

It looks as if little Dakota will suffer from McCauly-Osment syndrome, as in, incapable of making a transition to adult acting.

There should be a Barrymore in there Slim.

If your rocking the 3-way, be sure to trim your ballfro. Tangling during the DP can be painfull; and akward.

I dunno...two giggling dildos are high-fiving each other above a woman who's not even looking at them (can't, really), whatever vacancies they're choosing to fill. Who's really winning here? Is everybody? Is nobody?

Where's the warmth?

Plus I'm sure it's already hard enough for filmmakers to decide when to change angles in the edit when you've just got two on the set. Just seems needlessly complicated if you ask me.

Jumpers II.V

This again illustrates what an unusual case Christina Ricci is. You didn't even think of her. It's like "The Opposite of Sex" wiped everyone's memories.

I know what you mean. There is a total disconnect between Wednesday Addams and OMGRICCIBOOBS.

And both Fanning and Ricci have that weird "old soul" thing, and manga-sized head/eyes combo.

Everyone cool it, the hall monitor is here.

Spending two hours asleep on a nice day like today actually sounds rather spiffing. Nap time!

AHAHAHAHAHAH...you LITTERING MY HALL BRAH!?!?!

BSlim, have a take and don't suck.

Sunshine is that the one with Cilian Murphy, and the 300 dude? Anyway if it's the one where they try to light up the sun by going all up its ass that's one damned good movie. Sorta slipped thruogh the cracks and nobody paid attention, it's got like an understated Outland vibe to it.

hmmm...yup. About what I expected. If only it had Sam Jackson in it...

Dude, no, no, no......I loved it. But I'm kind of a superhero junkie, and I really want to be able to block bullets with rainbows. Or whatever they did.



God, you're right, I'm a dumbass.

Um... I will probably regret asking this, but what do the wipers do? Cause if sniffers sniff toothbrushes...

*mutter ... grumble*

So what? Rowles decided that the little experiment with a weekend thread wasn't successful? He'd rather that we hijack the last post off the week?

Fine. Let's burn this motherfucker down!

God lord. I knew it would be bad but this... I was hoping at least Dakota could pull out some of those so called "acting chops" I keep hearing so much about. Sounds more like she pulled out a judo chop to your brains testicles. Shame.

how very disappointing...

the trailer made it out to be an action film, but an action film without the action? no thanks, and sniffers? WTF?

I'm so mad. Djimon Hounsou is such a fantastic actor but somehow he always manages to end up in crap like this. It makes me want to shake him and say, "Remember Amistad?! Remember In America?! You could have been GREAT!"

But that's just me.

Give Djimon a break citizen_chris, he made Beauty Shop. Once you make that kind of bank you get to pick whatever projects you want.

To answer your inquiry bucdaddy.

Yes.
Yes.
and Yes.

To top it all off, it was my first time. She wasn't the most respectable of girls. Nor was I the consummate gentleman that I am today.

To top it all off, it was my first time. She wasn't the most respectable of girls. Nor was I the consummate gentleman that I am today.

Posted by: admin at February 7, 2009 6:25 PM

*chuckle*
*snort*

*HI FIVE*

Why hasn't his Pookieness weighed in on this joint. I feel I'm in need of a little higher learnin'.

So it's Jumper without the Samuel J. Jackson or the potential to have a more interesting story (Griffen fighting the Paladins would've been a much better movie)?

Guessed that from the trailer.

1. Yes
2. no
3. Yes

Dorm room, Mardi Gras, what was your name again?

Thank God SOME people here finally want to talk about whether they've ever had sex:

1) In a room where other people were present.

On more than one occasion. Danger, Will Robinson, danger!

2) In a room where other people were watching.

Not intentionally -- my ego isn't that strong.

3) In a room where other people were having sex.

Unsure. I know what we were doing, but it was dark and I can't account for the others...

1) In a room where other people were present.
Not in a room, per se...Does doing it in a lake while people were swimming a hundred feet or so away count?

2) In a room where other people were watching.
No, but came a little too close once. For a number of reasons (not least of all my own shyness) it would have been very, very bad.

3) In a room where other people were having sex.
No, but one night back in college while I was sleeping in my cousin's dorm room, she and her boyfriend had a little fun. Why she felt the need to tell me this later, I'll never know....

A "Ukranian hooker" eh? Six of one, half a dozen of the other. What the hell is going on with Fanning's agent?

Are you saying I'm a whore, Che?

--------------------------------------------------

Are you from the Ukraine...?

I could do with some sleep.. I might check this out, it sounds better than Tylenol PM.

OK, so back in college (all the best stuff happened in college) this chick I was lickin' I happened to lick while her roommate and HER boyfriend were on the other bed, separated from us by the backs of two chairs. Marty sucked me off (she was terrific, she could suck a tennis ball through a garden hose) I don't know what they were doing. They could have been watching us fuck around, or tbey could have been fucking, fuck if I know. Which I think sets a record for the number of times I've used "fuck" in one sentence.

Know what's weird? If I'd fallen in love with Marty for doing that, the entire course of my life would have changed, and notjust mine but at the very least three other people, and probably lots more, when you count up the in-laws and children.

You never know how the tiniest decisions you make today wll radically alter the course of dozens of lives. It's a huge responsibility, and it's amazing I can even type "responsibility" as fucked up as I am on Ezra Brooks.

BTW, the check-out guy who sold me the Ezra Brooks told me his name is Ezra. How fucked up is that?

D'you have a moustache or something?

Those are "The Fosses"

Good Lord, I completely forgot about that comic. Damn, Valiant was good. Well, at least before they retconned everything and then got sold to Acclaim.

No kidding. That first few years of Valiant were filled with quality stuff.

And "Harbinger" is what I thought of when I heard of "Push." If nothing else, a George Takei-version of Toyo Harada would have been far more intriguing that Djimon Honshou phoning in another bad movie like Push or Never Back Down or Eragon, The Island, Tomb Raider 2 or Biker Boyz.

It sounds deliciously tepid. I will eat this movie with a handful of Vicodin and a fifth of vodka, and it will be DIVINE.

But that makes everything, even old bacon, better, doesn't it?

FIRST!!

That was my first "first" ever. Thanks, Pajiba.
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Posted by: Mike at February 8, 2009 5:27 AM

And it shall be your last. Slim, release the hounds.

Isn't that some kind of bot? I saw "somebody" else make the same comment the other day, and also not the first comment.

Maybe it's the Nexus 6, as it were. They don't drop the url until they seem harmless.

Yeah, I saw this when it was Scanners II and I'd still take David Hewlett over any of these clowns. Stay classy Dakota honey, I goodwilled the stuff you were wearing last Friday.

Well thank you for saving me ten bucks!!

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So... you liked it, then?

"...and she dresses like a Ukrainian hooker"

Nice!

"and she dresses like a Ukrainian hooker."

And that was exactly the first thing that came to mind after seeing the trailer. Also, isn't this a Heroes movie?! That would definitely explain the mediocrity.

I had no trouble following the plot. I will say that, yes: They spent far too long wandering around and hanging out in hotel rooms.

That aside, I rather enjoyed it. Well, not the Ukranian hooker bit. I rather like Ukranian Hookers. Its the Thai hookers you have to watch out for. Most of them aren't of age, aren't the sex they tell you they are and... well... some memories are just to painful.

And Dakota, honey? You don't want to be the white Thai hooker.

Wow. i liked it. i feel like an A-hole.

Any idiot with half a brain can criticize and judge. After all critics are failed wannabe actors etc etc...Its better to build than to tear down man...

Can beleive I wasted 5 mins reading this crap that passes for a "review". Like the dude who fell asleep, you should too Phil.

I think this movie would have been better if Chris Evans would have flashed is rock-hard, tasty abs. Meh.