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Life-movie.jpg

Movies You Already Forgot Came Out This Year

By Kristy Puchko | Film | November 29, 2017 | Comments ()

By Kristy Puchko | Film | November 29, 2017 |


Life-movie.jpg

With hundreds of movies hitting theaters this year, it’s impossible for them all to make an impression. Here’s our list of the 2017 movies we’ve already forgotten.

The Great Wall

Remember when Matt Damon had to explain this Chinese movie wasn’t whitewashed because it starred him? He’s right. It’s technically more Asian Erasure/White Savior stuff. So, no points this round, Damon.


Fifty Shades Darker

There was so much drama ahead of this movie’s release! The stars hated each other. They lost the first movie’s director and screenwriter because Fifty Shades of Grey author E.L. James was fighting them at every turn, so her husband wrote the sequel’s script. Then I guess it opened.

T2: Trainspotting

21 years in the making. 10 weeks before it was out of theaters. Less before it was out of our minds.

CHiPs

Oh right. “CHiP happens.”

Life

The movie that starred Ryan Reynolds and Jake Gyllenhaal, yet the most interesting thing about it was the false rumor that it was a backdoor Venom prequel.

Power Rangers

Wow. I reviewed this movie. I remember little more than Elizabeth Banks chilling at a Krispy Kreme in her sexy Rita Repulsa gear.

The Fate Of The Furious

Look. xXx: The Return of Xander Cage was the only Fast and Furious movie we needed this year.

The Circle

Emma Watson and Tom Hanks came together to make the worst episode of Black Mirror.

King Arthur: Legend of The Sword

Guy Ritchie was finally winning some belated love for Man From U.N.C.L.E., and then he dropped this sexist, stupid mess of a medieval movie on us. Man. Can we stop trying to make Charlie Hunnam happen yet?

Snatched

We were over this movie when Amy Schumer inexplicably decided to tease it by having white women perform Beyonce’s “Formation.”

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Luc Besson brought us the amazing sci-fi spectacle of The Fifth Element. And he did a LOT of teasing of the world of wonders he promised in this, his life-long passion project. But all his enthusiasm couldn’t make up for miscasting and a shockingly snooze-inducing plot.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

The trailers were great. The cast was cool. Mark Strong’s inexplicable John Denver number was surprisingly touching. But this one is less than the sum of its parts.

Stronger

This one could get a relevance resurgence if Gyllenhaal gets award nominations. But with little buzz, this biopic that opened with a whimper in September is likely to be among another of the star’s forgotten flicks.

What movie can’t you believe came out this year?



Kristy Puchko is the managing editor of Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter, and hear her sound off about movies and feminism on the Slashfilmcast.


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