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You Make My Heart Sing

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (16)



majorleague.jpg

When I was twelve years old, I played my third and last year of little league. The previous years, the Yankees finished in first and moved on to whatever nebulous world of playoffs lay beyond the little league regular season. It was a well known fact that the Yankees had won every single year forever. Forever in twelve year old terms means at least seven years since that’s how long the oldest kids could have possibly been in the league. Every year, a group of long time coaches rigged the draft so that all the good players were on the Yankees, so that they’d have a better shot in the playoffs. This was in San Jose, California, so if you were going to rig such things, you could at least make the team the Giants or A’s. But of course, the type of person who rigs little league drafts is exactly the sort of person who also roots for the Yankees against their home town teams.

A funny thing happened though. In my last year, I was on the Expos (there were only eight teams in the league, what fucking bastard made a bunch of Californian pre-adolescents wear Expos uniforms?). A week into practice, a new kid showed up named Jeff. He looked to be at least sixteen and had a furious temper that led to other kids making sure the baseball bats were stacked well away from him. No one could play catch with him because he threw so hard it hurt your hand even if you were wearing a catcher’s mitt. He’d stand at batting practice and hit pitch after pitch over the outfielders’ heads. He was possibly insane, in that he only came to about every other practice because he insisted that he had to go to ballet practice the other days. He was the first non-adult I ever knew who smoked. And he had just moved to the area so he missed tryouts and thus randomly got assigned to our team after the fact.

We were the first team in the living memory of that league’s children to beat the Yankees. And instead of ending the season undefeated as always, with a string of mercy rule 20-0 scores, the Yankees finished with two losses, both to us, and in a tie for first place. We met on a gray clouded Saturday for the obligatory one game playoff.

And we lost 3-2.

I was on deck when Jeff struck out with a man on to end the game. There was this moment of utter pressure in which the only faith twelve year olds know seemed to die. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was not the way the story was supposed to end. I think that’s when Jeff threw his bat at the pitcher.

The point though is that no matter what happened in that game, it was going to be the thing that was remembered. If we’d won, we’d have lost in the next week to a bunch of “twelve year olds” who had been shaving for three years from the next suburb over. But that game, win or lose, was the critical point.

There are two movies I watch before every baseball season: Field of Dreams and Major League. You gotta cry and you gotta laugh. Bull Durham is for when you want to do both, but mostly for when you want to drink.

At its face, Major League is exactly the same as every other sports comedy. It’s just Bad News Bears with major leaguers instead of little leaguers. But it’s also something else, it’s the way that we wish the major leagues actually were.

Major League is what we actually want the underdogs to be. Every year some team comes along with about $14 of payroll, a mixture of twenty year old dreamers, forty year old schemers. They stumble into the playoffs with a wildcard, a few games above .500 and then the magic happens. A team that the good teams beat two games out of three all summer is suddenly winning 1-0 nail biters against $10 million pitchers with more Cy Youngs than losses. We root for that illusion, never admitting that in the back of our minds we know that the minimum salary is $400,000 for a major league player, that those rookies already have more money than most of us will make for the next decade and those washed up veterans have burned through cash like fans burn through sunflower seeds. If we thought about it for more than a second, we’d know that Willy, Ricky and Pedro would be playing for the Yankees in another two years anyway and Jake would have a gig on ESPN.

Hell, the movie cuts after they win the one-game playoff, it doesn’t even bother with the playoffs and series. Because that’s the after effect. What do we remember when it’s all over? Wild Thing. The strike out. Calling his shot, the runner straining around the third, the glove missing the slide by a whisker, “The Indians win it! The Indians win it! Oh my god the Indians win it!” If you think about it, if there’s story after the story (and don’t mention the sequels, they never happened) then you know that the Indians probably got swept the next week in the first round of the playoffs. But that’s why we end the story there, because twenty years later we’ll remember the dramatic finish whether it was for us or against us. Everybody remembers Fisk waving the winning shot fair. And even though they know the Red Sox lost the next day, it’s not what they remember.

Steven Lloyd Wilson is a hopeless romantic and the last scion of Norse warriors and the forbidden elder gods. His novel, ramblings, and assorted fictions coalesce at www.burningviolin.com. You can email him here.









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Comments

Oh, SLW - you write so pretty.

Posted by: Sbrown at November 3, 2010 3:58 PM

You literally played little league baseball with Kelly Leak.

Posted by: pete at November 3, 2010 3:58 PM

Great read. Thanks for sharing that. Somewhat frustratingly, you actually stole my tentatively planned thunder a bit with this column in a couple different ways, but you are more eloquent than I am, so I can't begrudge you.

And I actually liked Major League 2 (which as far as canon goes does confirm the Indians lost in the ALCS).

Posted by: DarthCorleone at November 3, 2010 3:59 PM

The 2010 San Francisco Giants are awfully close to your Dream Team, SLW. They have a relatively low payroll (when you remove the money wasted on one useless player - Mr. Barry Zito). Their players are a mixture of young talent, old castoffs, and proven veterans. Around August and September, they could barely get above 3 runs in any single game, yet they found ways to win. They came together at the perfect time to squeak into the playoffs on the last day of the season, cruised past the Braves in the NLDS, beat the Mighty Phillies in the NLCS, and finished up with a resounding World Series performance.

I was waiting for you to mention them throughout this article. It's a shame you missed it because they would've given your inner 12 year old a major boner.

Posted by: Kballs at November 3, 2010 4:11 PM

One of my favorite sports movies.

I love that at no point do they try to excuse their behavior. These are professional athletes as cads, idiots, jerks and lost souls. They know they got nothing else and that, the moment it's done, they're done.

Sports careers are not long for most sports. Prime years can be just a handful or, at most, a decade. And depending on how high a level one got to, it can be the defining aspect of your life.

I mean, imagine going to get your oil changed and the technician is a former college football athlete or a baseball pitcher who blew his arm off?

It's why I'm so disappointed with how the NCAA lets its big-sports programs get away with not ensuring these kids get a good education. Sports are, at best, 1/5th of your lifetime that colors the rest of it.

Posted by: Fredo at November 3, 2010 4:43 PM

"Major League" is a baseball movie for all of us who suffered, year after year, while our hometown team (in my case, The Texas Rangers) played the same brand of incompetent ball; only occasionally taunting us with a division win that was followed by a heartbreaking sweep in the first round of the playoffs. I watched "Major League" in the Spring, as always, sincerely believing, as always, that maybe this year would be the one that allowed me to actually experience the joy that the cinematic Indians and their fans enjoyed.
Whaddya know? They make it to the Series and, yeah, I know that joy, at last.
I'll still watch "Major League" again, come Spring and this time, I'll see it from a different perspective because - at long last - I'll be able to fully enjoy and appreciate the ending as a fan who has been able to dance, scream, celebrate and revel in my team's redemption.

Posted by: Spender at November 3, 2010 4:52 PM

SLW, I think I love you. BUT I WANNA KNOW FOR SURE.

Posted by: coveredinbees at November 3, 2010 5:25 PM

What Kballs said.

I watched every game the Giants played this year, and more often than not I finished the game thinking, "How the hell did they win that one?"

With washed-up players nobody wanted, youngsters who had no business being as good as they were, and one crazy-ass closer. It made me believe in summer magic again, just a little bit.

Posted by: lil_a at November 3, 2010 5:36 PM

The Giants one because they are, in fact, good. They were always the underdogs but they dealt with pressure very well. I agree with Zito being overpaid. What is also great with the Giants is that their team is still pretty young which could help them in the next fews. No one believed in the Giants this year but they proved everyone wrong. How the hell did they win that one? With pride.

Posted by: The Minn at November 3, 2010 9:18 PM

While the Giants had a great run and no one believed they were going to win the World Series, they were projected to win the West at the beginning of the year. Now if the Padres would have been in the spot the Giants were in (coming back in the last month of the season) then it would work because everyone knew the Padres were going to be bad and in this scenario, they make a late season run and make it.
A better example of the Indians from Major League would be the 2007 Rockies.

Posted by: Tron at November 3, 2010 10:47 PM

The Caddyshack of baseball movies, with one of the best opening title sequences in movie history.

Posted by: The Mutt at November 3, 2010 10:54 PM

I am not sure if people are aware of this but just wanted to gently point out that Brooke Shields unlike most actresses in Hollywood actually went to an Ivy league college (Princeton Univ.) and graduated. We have to give her some credit for this especially nowadays where most young actors are busy getting wasted every night.do u ever heard about sugardaddyhunt.com?the best place to get a sugarbaby or sugardaddy.i strong advise u singles go to have a look.

Posted by: sugardaddyhuntCOM at November 3, 2010 11:57 PM

Whoa, autobot changing it up there and sucking me into the comment for a second.

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at November 4, 2010 1:11 AM

i second the love for the writing here. very pretty indeed. thanks.

Posted by: splinter at November 4, 2010 8:42 AM

about $14 of payroll, a mixture of twenty year old dreamers, forty year old schemers.
---
I'm a Pirates fan, and I don't want to hear about it.

Posted by: , at November 4, 2010 9:07 AM

I live in DC and I go to Nats games for the beer and the over/under on errors/runs. Last game I saw, the 3rd baseman tripped picking up a grounder and bounced the ball throwing to 1st. Seriously, about once a game I burst out laughing.

You know what? I don't care. It's summer and it's sports and being in a stadium on a beautiful summer eve with a beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other makes me happy.

Posted by: bananapanda at November 4, 2010 4:12 PM