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And Then Gummo Jumped Off A F**king Bridge

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (22)



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I warned you this day would come. When film festivals and film schools are left to their own devices, they will revert to the ways of Larry Clark and Harmony Korine. Enter Chris Fuller, a 21-year-old filmmaker, who is our unmaking. He brings unto us Loren Cass, a trite, loosely structured narrative supposedly about teen life in the aftermath of the 1996 St. Petersburg, Florida race riots. Allegedly taking almost a decade for this unholy abomination to foist itself upon the arthouse crowds, Fuller has managed to create something worse than even Harmony Korine could imagine. There is no story. There is no logical narrative structure. There’s hardly any semblance of character. It is the cinematic equivalent of American Beauty’s floating plastic bag. Knowing three chords and caterwauling into a microphone might make you punk, but it doesn’t make you a musician. Well, filming arbitrary things and putting them together doesn’t make you a filmmaker either.

I seriously cannot give you a plot description. Nothing of any substance happens. There’s a skinhead and a mechanic who get into fist fights with a gaggle of black kids who drive around in a white van. The only female character works in a diner and spends all of her time having sex with guys. In her bedroom, in other people’s bedrooms, in the backseat of her car after work. She’s like the Sam-I-Am of fuckpuppetry. Everyone is miserable. Everyone wants to leave. The end.

It’s been compared to Larry Clark, and that’s a misnomer. Larry Clark is a lazy filmmaker who likes to include lots of pubic-hair filled shots of explicit fucking. Chris Fuller is a lazy filmmaker who likes to includes lots of close ups of shoes. I suppose his overarching message is that after such a dire incident, life gets confusing and everyone spends all their time wandering and in shock. I understand that, but I didn’t need an 83-minute pastiche of overlong landscape shots and inexplicable close ups of inanimate objects for someone to express that to me.

Most of the film is narrated by two punk rock musicians. I only know this because I looked it up on the internet. What it really sounds like is Fuller didn’t have a soundtrack, so he looped together old spoken word albums and occasional footage of the St. Petersburg riots from television. There are actual, entire sequences where the screen is black while we listen to some drunk punk ramble. I could have shot this movie from the front stoop of my apartment in Allston. Then again, I was there when the Sox broke the curse. I saw a guy with a mohawk hug a cop on a horse. I didn’t see a kid dye his own sideburns with blood fresh from his nose from his recent beatdown like in this movie. But the two punks’ rambling beats the hell out of the weird saxophone wailing that makes up the other half of the soundtrack. According to the internet again, there is one punk rock song performed by a band whose lead singer died shortly after filming. He is far better off than the audience.

There are two scenes of note. One involves the character of The Suicide Kid, who is played by the spaghetti-eating bather from Gummo. He spends two brief scenes chugging from a whiskey bottle at a party. Eventually, he gets up, climbs in his car, drives to the Sunshine Skyway bridge and then jumps off. It’s actually shot really interestingly. It’s the only good part of the film. Especially since we see that fucking creep from Gummo die. But, this scene is the only a linear plot development. The shots are sparing but make sense when linked together. The lone car flashing on the side of the road delivers a jarring coda. It works.

The other scene involves the real life footage from Budd Dwyer’s televised suicide in 1987. Google it if you want to, I refuse to fucking link it here. Dwyer, a public official caught in a scandal, called a press conference, made a speech, and then — on camera — placed a .357 magnum in his mouth and shot himself through the top of the head. As he slumped to the ground, blood fountains from his nose like a full-turned spigot, pouring down from the gaping wound in his skull as cameras continue to roll. It’s haunting and unforgettable. Why it’s in this movie, I have no fucking idea. It doesn’t belong there, it’s not adding to anything other than we just saw Gummo commit suicide, and it’s extremely graphic and horrifying. I’ve seen it used one other time — in Michael Moore’s Bowling for Columbine. Where contextually it makes sense. Here, in this, it’s just pointless and fucking despicable.

Loren Cass has received accolades and numerable positive reviews as being daring, groundbreaking, and outstanding. Which just goes to show that film critics are fucking morons. Including myself — because I didn’t walk out. I sat, and endured every dreadful, trite, cliched, annoying, horrible fucking moment. I thought — surely, something will happen. Chris Fuller may have wasted ten years of his life to get this film made, but I wasted two hours of mine. And fat as I am, that’s borrowed time.

Brian Prisco is a bitter little man stomping sour grapes into fine whine in the valleys of North Hollywood. He’s a screenwriter who’s never been professionally produced, an actor who’s never joined a guild, and a director who made one bad film. He’s one waiter apron away from a cliche, and he’s available for children’s parties. You can tell him how much you hate him at priscogospel at hotmail dot com.









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Comments

At least it's not a remake?

Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at September 16, 2009 5:22 PM

At least it's not a remake?

Nah, it is remake, based on a dream somebody had after too much brie.

Posted by: cockroach at September 16, 2009 5:28 PM

I wonder about posts like this. Most of us on Pajiba would have never heard of this movie if not for this review. So are you hurting or helping the dimwit who made it, and in either case, is that what you want to do?

Posted by: EricD at September 16, 2009 5:31 PM

This site sucks and the writer is illiterate.

Posted by: JohnK at September 16, 2009 5:32 PM

you had me at "white van".

Posted by: gp at September 16, 2009 5:34 PM

"This site sucks and the writer is illiterate."

In that case, don't let the door hit you on the way out...

Posted by: Skitz at September 16, 2009 5:40 PM

Honestly, EricD ?
It does help because we all have friends who are just dumb enough to be sucked in by some of those idiotic 'critics' and are therefore willing to waste hard-earned dollars on this type of crap.
Pajiba provides a service by alerting us to this dreck so that we can warn off our misguided friends.
Plus, I LOVES me some Prisco ranting.

Posted by: Spender at September 16, 2009 5:40 PM

There are times that I'm glad that I live in Buttfuckistan, Saskatchewan. This is one of those times. There is absolutely no chance that anybody I know personally will ever see this movie.

Posted by: admin at September 16, 2009 6:24 PM

This was a terrible film. I have no idea how it found distribution. Any film school dropout could do better. Hell, most accounting dropouts could top this.

Here's the best part -- the director is repped by CAA, the biggest agency in the world. Go figure...

Posted by: AbroadThankGod at September 16, 2009 7:38 PM

Budd Dwyer was Pennsylvania treasurer, which has nothing to do with Florida, and shot himself in 1987, which has nothing to do with the '90s.

/puzzled

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at September 16, 2009 10:08 PM

Which might actually add to any criticism of the film.

Posted by: frank at September 17, 2009 12:47 AM

Forgot to say that the inclusion of the suicide reminded me of the end to Natural Born Killers.
So many un-related news stories that really had nothing to do with the point that Stone or even Tarantino wated to make.

Did the Ramirez Brothers AND the first Gulf War have anything to do with serial killers in the US?

Posted by: frank at September 17, 2009 12:56 AM

Absofuckinglutely, frank, and no.

I fear you have missed the point of Mr Stone's last great work (although who doesn't love the drunken Pacino fingernails line).

I'll give you a hint, NBK was not about serial killers in the US.

Posted by: Peter G at September 17, 2009 3:27 AM

I saw this in NY and liked it.

I was going to get my internet-hate on with this review, but then Prisco basically summed it up for me with his bio by admitting he's a bitter wannabe. I assume his readers are the same (damn, I guess I did become a reader just now).

Enjoy playing "critic."

Posted by: Tim at September 17, 2009 9:09 AM

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Posted by: Casper at September 17, 2009 9:15 AM

FUCK! We lost Caspar!!

Posted by: jamiepants at September 17, 2009 3:12 PM

"I'll give you a hint, NBK was not about serial killers in the US."

So maybe Loren Cass isn't "about" teenagers in Florida then? Just like a swastika isn't about bigotry? And the world has more to it than dirt and water? I think some of y'all need to read a book. If it doesn't hurt too bad, try reading a second one.

I saw this film on itunes a while back cause I dig one of the bands on the soundtrack (which reminds me, Prisco is wrong about the "dead lead singer" thing, if you're going to make points about arbitrary factotums at least get them right) and it's good. Real good, if you read between the lines. If you guys took everything at face value this site wouldn't have much to offer now would it? Think outside the box goofs. It's hilarious that a film like this which is the definition of independent gets thrashed by you clowns for getting distribution. You guys want more "Transformers" and "Armageddon"? Sadly you'll get your wish.

Posted by: Greg212 at September 17, 2009 9:29 PM

The film also includes a live performance by New York punk band Leftöver Crack, which was the first show that included drummer Brandon Kolling in the lineup, who died shortly after filming.

Drummer, singer. Who gives a fuck. He's dead.

Posted by: Prisco at September 17, 2009 11:05 PM

Oh Glorious Day! Prisco, baby, you are ALL OVAH the Loren Cass Fanclub shit list, my brother.

That's okay. This waste of space type of effort reminds me of the 20-something at the obligatory 'graphic designer's art show' I recently went to. She told me how everybody was invited to the abandoned railroad after the show to create 'found object harmonics' using garbage and snot (I presume), all documented on her stash of discontinued Polaroid film stock.

I patted her head. She smelled of cool ranch doritos and PBR, and wore glasses with no lenses. She was certain of her genius, and that's being 20 years old, I guess. It's cute if they don't make you watch their 'art'.

Posted by: replica at September 17, 2009 11:09 PM

Has anybody other than Prisco actually seen the movie they're commenting on oh-so-viciously (and real, real intelligently)? I keep seeing all these comments like the above giving him "props" and calling the movie a "waste of space" and the like. So...you're either an idiot Prisco nuthugger, or a sucker who paid to see it by your own admission. Which is it? Prisco might be a tool, but at least he admits it and saw the movie before blathering on about how it's the end of civilization. Also, I really don't get the Korine/Clark comparisons. Korine is a pussy and Clarks a child molester. Its really a sad state of affairs when a movie gets compared to others purely because they share one actor and otherwise have nothing else in common.

P.S. Do any of you have girlfriends? Bunch of angry internet haters. Probably action figure collectors too.

Posted by: Greg212 at September 17, 2009 11:32 PM

"Drummer, singer. Who gives a fuck. He's dead."

Well, you gave enough of a fuck to write it in your "review". But alas, it's a horribly transparent "oooh look how clever this joke is I gotta get this in there" moment, facts be damned. How long did it take you to write this? 4 minutes tops.

I just re-read it too. It sucked even more the second time around, but I get your game. Angry review site for back-patting circle-jerking angry people, bash everything, ass rape viewers with ads, make money off the movies we claim to despise, comment on our own "reviews" to argue with readers, blah blah blah. Your queer ads crashed my browser.

Posted by: Greg212 at September 17, 2009 11:46 PM

Pajiba provides a service by alerting us to this dreck so that we can warn off our misguided friends.
Plus, I LOVES me some Prisco ranting

I agree with your points Spender. But it seems to me that a film this small would have never gotten the chance to sucker anyone into a theater.

Posted by: EricD at September 18, 2009 12:54 AM


















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