Pajiba

This is how I feel just watching the commercials.

Hahahaha. I love the title too, that's exactly how i felt watching the previews...

I concur with Mimi. I think he means the substance, not the action.

As for the movie...well, Mr. Stephens, I think that somewhere there is a therapist who can help you with this pain. Until you find them and their comfy leather couch, just ask the Vietnam vets how they deal with the night terrors and flashbacks.

I feel horrible for you Phillip...White Chicks was abysmal in itself, just thinking about this movie makes my stomach churn with disgust...

Wow. That sounds like the best grammar discussion around.

"so-bad-and-so-stupid-that-it's-occasionally-funny" Bang on description of White Chicks. I think I laughed once in it. (A four-hundred pound football player singing 'A thousand miles' will never not be funny to me.) But I barely made it through to the end.

I was in a theatre in Chinook looking at the posters and next to Little Man was "The best movie of the Summer! - TIME". I gaped at it, and was about to cry when I realized that the quote was in fact from the 'Cars' standee next to it. This movie just looks fucking painful. Kudos for somehow surviving.

The reviewers were absolutely correct in their use of the word "ejaculate".
There is nothing worse than people who think they are really smart, but aren't, trying to correct people who are way above them intellectually.
Pajiba's writers provide an emotional/intellectual balm to readers sick of reading badly written crap everywhere else on the internet.
Keep the scathing, grammatically-correct, perfectly-spelled reviews coming.

People are more interested in the noun usage for expelling semen than in this terrible movie. Irony, thy name is Wayans!
~Phillip

1. I LOLed at the title.
2. I regret missing out on the chance to deliver a grammatical bitchslap. However, just to make sure we're clear here: "ejaculate," in Phillip's usage, refers to the actual substance, i.e. semen (cum, in simpler language).

I'm just wondering, Gina, is your name pronounced "jee-nuh" or "jy-nah"?

Ah, irony.

Thank you for that review, Pajiba.

It restored my faith in humanity.

Without you, I would be stuck reading the local newspaper, which described this movie as "heartwarming," and the effects as "seamless."

So thank you.

well, my bad for not reading these comments all the way through myself...it's good to see that there are others who were able to set the record straight on the correct use of "ejaculate"...[insert your own bad joke here]

"... You know what? Fuck plot synopsis. It's a midget pretending to be a baby -- other than that, nobody cares (and I include the filmmakers in this category). Computer effects render (poorly) Marlon's head onto, alternatively, the body of actual dwarf Gabriel Pimental and 9-year-old Linden Porco as he molests women and delivers innumerable assaults to men's crotches. It's a stupid, crass idea and it's done poorly."

Perfectly said, Phillip. The Wayans bros. need to quit releasing this crap. It's not "stupid funny" anymore, just downright pathetic. How "White Girls" made any money in the box office is beyond me.

Seriously, dude, if you're that offended by the reviews, why would you even bother posting a comment? Why not just, I don't know, NOT come to the site? Especially since you're not contributing anything meaningful about the movie or the review. Maybe you and Gina can go off somewhere and start your own website - since it's obvious you know SO much more about reviewing movies.

Deliqer, what Pajiba reviews did you read that were ever "cute"? They're all like this--bitchy, angry, pompous, and they go into the theater knowing that the movie will suck, but goddamnit, they have a job to do.

(Cue the image of the Pajiba staff, superimposed before a grandly-waving American Flag, with pained but determined grimaces on their faces as a vaguely patriotic marching band piece is heard in the background.)

(Aaaand fade to black.)

Thank you Tarny for explaining what these reviews are all about. Now I have a better understanding of the process. So maybe you can please explain to me what the FUCK did the reviewer of Little Man expect. Daphne, listen sweetie don't you let my mean sarcasm worry your pretty little head. I'm just a fat, frustrated, old man looking for a hot little number such as yourself.

Who the hell thought a 7 minute Bugs Bunny cartoon would make a good feature length movie? Didn't we see Bugs deal with the midget hood fifty years ago?

deliver:
What did YOU expect reading a review of Little Man on Pajiba?!

I do think that the Wayans are smarter and funnier than people assume they are, but they seem to be running out of ideas and playing to the lowest common denominator. This movie can't be as bad as it looks or the celluloid would undoubtedly immolate itself, sparing even those too stupid to avoid it the experience. Still, I can't imagine that it could possible be good.

And by the way, I think the Scary Movie shows had a lot of funny moments partially because, as I say, they're funnier than people want to admit, and partially because Anna Farris is an MFing genius.

Great review; well done!!

Its movies like this that make me ...nah nevermind

When I saw the trailers for this...thing, I too wondered why, and how this nutty log of a movie made it to the big screen. Sadly, last Friday night at the 34th Street Loews in Manhattan, four, as in 1-2-3-4 different showings of Little Man were sold out. I threw up a little, then I cried a little, then I had a little popcorn, at peace with the idea that it takes all kinds and I can thank my lucky stars that I'm not the kind who goes to see a movie about a midget pretending to be a baby.

I've never read the comments on Pajiba before today, but I've just read all the comments for this review and the review for A Scanner Darkly. From the ferocity of the responses, it seems like this "Gina" character has been pissing people off for a while.

Not knowing the noun "ejaculate" and thinking "mustn't" looked funny are not such grave errors. It's her utter conviction that she's right despite her almost cellular level of wrongness that's so galling. Or maybe it's the feigned nonchalance with which she posts her demonstrably false "corrections."

In any case, I wish Gina would respond to all the comments that specifically address her error. How about a "thank you" for the free English lessons? How about a quick "whoops my bad"? How 'bout an apology for being a fucktarded dickbike?

Is it possible that Gina is actually a joke? Some wiseacre's alter ego, created for the sole purpose of exemplifying the most annoying tendencies of internet commenters? God, I sure hope so. That would be awesome. The alternative -- that Gina is a real person with hopes and dreams and friends -- fills me with fucking empathic sorrow.

Okay, I've convinced myself. Gina is a construction. Gina does not exist. Or rather, she only exists insofar as we validate her existence through acknowledgment. Ignore her/it! Pull a fucking Gandhi on her imaginary ass: remove your consent from her existence, and she will simply cease to be!

-

Oh yeah, by the way: good review.

Dear English Teacher,
Adverb-adjective compounds, such as "grammatically-correct" and "perfectly-spelled," usually do not require hyphens.

Gina, if I believed you were a real person, I would feel a little bad right now. But I don't, so I don't. Nice try, figment!

But imaginary or not, you did at least respond to the criticism, so props for that. However, your response is a classic non-apology apology, which suxx hott coxx. But it's very realistic! Man. This is like a superhard Turing test. Your move, programmers.

I don't see how anyone couldn't think of this movie as anything but OSCAR WORTHY.

A little person with a Wayans head super-imposed...c'mon people, just think of all the hyjinks and calamities that will insue! This is COMEDIC GENIUS at its best!

Oh, almost forgot...Gina, SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE! Your comments are lame at best.

Universal, that long-ass comment was funny as hell, but I prefer to believe that Gina is a real person. It fits in better with my overall perception of the human race.

Dearest Editor,

I understand that the world is trying to curb the hyphen. However, as you know, British conventions of hyphenation are a little more lax (for now). So, while most people agree that the hyphen is not necessary in an -ly adverb + adjective combination, and are trying to standardise this rule, I will continue to let my hyphens run buck-wild in my compound adjectives (when preceding a noun). Why? Why not? :)

Universal and Justin --> Funny

The sweet irony of all the back and forth about ejaculate and Gina's self-important grammatical observations is that the Wayans brothers would probably find this hilarious.
Also, you have to love when a critic breaks down in the middle of a review to eviscerate the filmmakers for being irresponsible dipshits. Thank you for the unbridled anger, Phillip.

This string of comments is hilarious.

But most hilarious? As I scrolled down, the ad at the bottom was of Bambi and his dad: "Only you can prevent forest fires"... LOL!

Actually, "ejaculate" with a long "a" is the verb. "Ejaculate" with a schwa (muted short "a") is the noun. Dustin's right.

And thus the comments continue more interesting, humorous and informative than the actual movie, but that probably comes as a surprise to no one.

Bambi is a _boy?_