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Screw Ball Less

Leatherheads / Dustin Rowles

Film Reviews | April 4, 2008 | Comments (97)


A couple of days ago, I caught my son staring up admiringly at George Clooney during his appearance on Letterman and I turned to Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate and said, “That doesn’t make him gay, you know; that just makes him human.” And that’s most definitely the case with Mr. Clooney — he’s good looks, charisma, intelligence, and likably smug self-deprecation all wrapped up in a simmering package of old-school gravitas. If you don’t like George Clooney just a little bit, you’re just not human — if he’s not wetting panties, he whetting a thirst for something neat or on the rocks. And though he’s been in any number of underwhelming films (the Schiavoan Michael Clayton, most recently) he never fails to deliver. Even when he’s in a clunker (The Perfect Storm, Intolerable Cruelty), he’s still as easy to watch as he is on the eyes (save for Solaris, which was just painful). Leatherheads is another one of those films that doesn’t quite live up to his Royal Clooneyness, a movie where everyone lacks just a little because they’re forced to play John Oates and G.E. Smith to his Daryl Hall.

Indeed, I wondered walking into Leatherheads why no one bothered to make screwball comedies anymore. Walking out, I knew why: While George Clooney holds his own as a modern-day Cary Grant, Rosalind Russell Renee Zellwegger ain’t. Putting the gossipy notion that her face belongs in a pickle jar aside, Zellwegger isn’t a bad actress. In fact, given the current choice of talent available, I doubt you could find a high-profile actress better suited to the role. The problem is, ironically enough, that actresses of that mold, the Hawksian woman archetype — smart, slightly intimidating, sexy, sophisticated, and strong — just don’t exist in the studio system like they did in the 1930s through the ’60s. If Russell, Lauren Bacall, and Angie Dickinson were proto-feminists, where the hell are our modern feminists? Now, they’re all goddamn flowers that wilt at the slightest whiff of cologne (I speak of you, Rainbow Killer) and, outside of a few older actresses — Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton — there just aren’t a lot of actressin’ womenfolk who can hold their own standing next to Clooney, which makes Zellwegger’s Lexie Littleton, a journalist for the Chicago Tribune, a bit far-fetched, even if she can convincingly sell a few lines.

Meanwhile, John Krasinski — adorably harmless, wry, eye-rolling John Krasinski — isn’t exactly cut out for comedic foil, either: He makes for an impressive set of puppy dog eyes, but you don’t watch screwball comedies or football movies to see a guy whimper off into the corner and mug for hugs, which is essentially what Krasinski does here. I dig the guy, but his onscreen talents seem limited to Jim Halpert types.

Set in 1925, Krasinski plays Carter Rutherford, a football wunderkind from Princeton, the number one player in the nation, pitchman for razor blades and a soldier with a war-hero background that’s the stuff of legend. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what it is: Legend. So, Lexie Littleton, hotshot reporter with a pageboy haircut and a nice set of gams, is called upon to flash her leg, investigate his background and “cook the goose,” for the Tribune.

Meanwhile, Dodge Connelly (Clooney), based on the real-life Johnny “Blood” McNally, is a grizzled, over-the-hill football veteran in an unstructured league with fewer fans than it has rules. When his team, the Duluth Bulldogs, goes broke, Connelly develops a plan to save the organization and, perhaps, professional football all together: Recruit the Princeton star and war hero to play for Duluth, drawing the massive crowds that Rutherford attracts in college football to the professional level.

And it works, too.

The conflict arises in the love story, which is where the dramatic tension peters out; Rutherford falls for Lexie and gives up the real account behind his war heroism, while Connelly also develops an affection for Lexie, which is reluctantly reciprocated (she is, after all, human), and then there’s a whole three-way relationship mess that predictably unspools itself toward shocking(!) revelations and the one big game. Hurrah! Along the way, there’s a lot of good stuff going on: A brilliant keystone cops sequence (that features Clooney in full-on O’ Brother Where Art Thou? kookiness), a good-natured bar brawl, a lot of fun football gimmickry, and a smashing Randy Newman ragtime score.

Unfortunately, Leatherheads ultimately fails not for what it is, but for what it isn’t: A legitimate screwball comedy on the level with the works of Howard Hawks or George Cukor. It’s an amiable, likable, swell comedy. And Clooney, as director, does an exemplary job with the 20s aesthetic, respectfully capturing the myths of football past on camera, as well as the feel of those old-school comedies combined with the breezy casualness of an Ocean’s film. And while he also does a fairly good imitation of screwball, that’s really all it is: An imitation. A movie good enough to remind you of better ones, but not good enough to compete with them, which — in the end — leaves you mostly with an overwhelming ache of nostalgia.

Still, I won’t lie: There’s enough Clooney to make it a worthwhile cinematic experience.

Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba. He lives with his wife and son in Ithaca, New York. You may email him, or leave a comment below.









Ruins, The | Rigor-fied Digits













Comments

I wonder if Naomi Watts could have carried it off. She's got that old school thing going, no?

Posted by: Cindy at April 4, 2008 3:49 PM

Dustin...you failed to answer the most important question of the day...

Does this mean we'll be treated to JulieCorpsefucker and her discovery of his rigor-fied digits??

Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 3:51 PM

Still, I won't lie: There's enough Clooney to make it a worthwhile cinematic experience.

At least you know the bottom line. I am glad to see this is enjoyable fun, even if it isn't breaking any new ground. That's what "O Brother" was for.

Posted by: twig at April 4, 2008 3:51 PM

His = John Krasinski

Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 3:52 PM

Dammit. I'll still see this at some point, Clooney is charming enough to carry a film. Whether or not Krasinski lives and remains unspoiled is still up in the air.

Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 4:00 PM

yay! a movie that mr.wsapnin & i can agree on. football and clooney. i'm glad it doesn't suck too hard.

Posted by: wsapnin at April 4, 2008 4:06 PM

Such a dilemma... Clooney is balls-out one of my favorite actors, even if he mostly just plays George Clooney (Seth Gecko excepted).

But I fucking LOATHE Zellwegger.

What to do, what to do.

Netflix, I summon thee!

Posted by: TK at April 4, 2008 4:06 PM

Well, I'll still have to see it. For the Clooneyness at least....

ah, Rosalind and Kate of the fast and sharp tongue....how we miss you....

Posted by: dammitjanet at April 4, 2008 4:11 PM

I liked Renee Zellwegger in Empire Records. I didn't hate her in The Whole Wide World. Anything after that just makes me want to pry her goddamn eyelids open with toothpicks and smack her in the face every time she does the duck lips.

Anyway, even discounting the Squint Factor, this movie leaves me cold with ambivalence. I'll put it on the queue, but I ain't moving it up. It'll probably linger somewhere around #500, in between a bunch of lame sequels and some documentaries about soap that I can't remember why I have on there, until I forget what it is. One day two years from now I'll be sorting my queue all, "Leatherheads? The hell is this shit? Why did I want to watch a movie about a BDSM milliner?"

Posted by: Sarina at April 4, 2008 4:27 PM

"Netflix, I summon thee!"

*POOF!-Netflix Genie appears*

You summoned me, lord? I have your copies of "Backdoor Tramps 10", "That Won't Fit In There 8", and "Howard the Duck", ready to ship! I'm sorry, but "Where's Dildo" hasn't come back from Prisco yet.


And, scene.

Posted by: Manny at April 4, 2008 4:28 PM

Manny, heeeeee!

Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 4:39 PM

I wonder if Naomi Watts could have carried it off. She's got that old school thing going, no?

I think she could have. What about McAdams? Let's play "Cast that Actress!"

I just can't watch anything with Lemonface McGee. I will always love Slutty Gina, but other than that...nothing.

Posted by: Nicole at April 4, 2008 4:39 PM

I liked Solaris. *pouts*

Posted by: madavis4 at April 4, 2008 4:42 PM

I would pay money to watch George Clooney read the phone book. Anyone who does not find the Clooney attractive or in any way likable is a droid. There will be no room for argument on this.

Posted by: Melody at April 4, 2008 4:43 PM

Pajiba, WHAT did I tell you this morning?

The day is nearly gone! WHY did this review get posted before the review of The Ruins? WHERE is the review of The Ruins?! HOW do you expect me to get any sleep tonight?

Dinner is ruined!

Posted by: Jerce at April 4, 2008 4:45 PM

Oh for Christ's sake, who forgot to give Jerce her meds? PEOPLE, we have rules for a reason!

"I would pay money to watch George Clooney read the phone book."

Agreed. Except... I can't watch One Fine Day... that definitely makes me murderouser.

Posted by: TK at April 4, 2008 4:48 PM

But what happens if you suddenly find that, oh no!, you want to watch Leatherheads?

Well, I'll tell you what you do. You go on the computer, pull up your NetFlix account, go click, click, click, and move Leatherheads up above the soap documentary and then, presto!, Leatherheads is in the mail! That's what you do, silly.

Office refs aside, I'm so glad that I just spent 30 seconds reading about someone's zany-sexy netflix habits. Maybe somebody can wedge a Joshua Jackson flick somewhere between the soap and the sequels.

Posted by: becca at April 4, 2008 4:49 PM

Dinner is ruined!

Was this a pun?

Hee.

Ahem. Seriously, Jerce is right; where is that review? Because listen, George Clooney is charming and all, but he ain't no people eatin' plant. I've got viewing priorities, and watching Jena Malone get all Little Shop of Horrified is chief among them.

Posted by: Sarina at April 4, 2008 4:52 PM

Maybe, just maybe, there haven't been any good screwball comedies made lately because World War II heralded the of the Great Depression and thus the need for escapist zaniness. Some genres are manifested by circumstance. Some might say that zombie movies have become more popular as the threats of nuclear/ecological/pestilent holocaust hang over our heads. The same might be said for the "big bug" movies articulating a fear of cold war nuclear hostility. Then again, maybe they quit making them because the writers, directors and actor capable of making them work all died off. What do I know, I am just a secretary with a huge crush on Cary Grant.

Posted by: Brigette at April 4, 2008 4:53 PM

Aw, crap Sarina. I just started the book.

Durn it.

Posted by: TK at April 4, 2008 4:59 PM

TK, that won't ruin much for you, what is so chilling about the book is the atmosphere and sense of claustrophobia. :)

I loved The Ruins, I started it on a rainy Saturday afternoon and didn't put it down until I was finished later that night.

Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 5:06 PM

Agreed. Except... I can't watch One Fine Day... that definitely makes me murderouser.

Until you have seen Intolerable Cruelty, which is really the worst, or his appearance on Friends, there is no complaining about One Fine Day.

That is a good hangover/girl movie day movie.

Posted by: Melody at April 4, 2008 5:07 PM

TK, I haven't actually read the book. I'm just going off what I've seen in the film previews. By the way, if the book is good, will you let me know? I want to read it, but while I love crap horror films, I'm far less tolerant of cheese in book form.

Posted by: Sarina at April 4, 2008 5:07 PM

Well, I'll tell you what you do. You go on the computer, pull up your NetFlix account, go click, click, click, and move Leatherheads up above the soap documentary and then, presto!, Leatherheads is in the mail! That's what you do, silly.

Hahaha, becca, very nice ref. I miss The Office a ton, I'm chomping at the bit for April 10th.

This review sums up almost exactly what I thought it was going to be. Clooney is awesome. As much love as I have for Krasinski, I'm kinda sad to hear that he's basically playing Halpert in Mud. Although, that's not bad at all when I think about it...

And yea, Zellwegger isn't the most fun to look at, but it could be worse. Consider some of the leading "ladies" and then consider yourself not too bad off. You can't win the lottery every day, ya know? Sometimes it's just good enough not to get punched in the face.

Posted by: Kayanne at April 4, 2008 5:12 PM

I'm far less tolerant of cheese in book form.

Skip the book. Abandon it in an airport or a dentist's office or something. Spare yourself an aggravating waste of your time.

Posted by: Jerce at April 4, 2008 5:19 PM

This movie just isn't doing anything for me. I like the cast, even Zellwegger at times, but the plot just seems too pat. I don't know, there's something about it that is utterly unengaging to me. I'm sure it will do find without my $8 but I can't be alone in thinking this.

On another note, Zellwegger and Blanchett are both 38. 10 years younger than Swinton. Yes, I checked. I just thought the line "older actresses" was a bit snarky when describing women in their thirties. Poor Susan Sarandon and Meryl Streep are downright ancient by those standards.

Posted by: Rob at April 4, 2008 5:37 PM

I have never understood the hatred for Renee Zellweger. She might have weird facial things going on sometimes, but she's a great actress and has a nice "girl next door" thing going on.

Yes, Clooney is great in just about everything, although One Fine Day is debatable. He's not bad, it just feels like he's phoning in his Dr. Ross performance for most of the movie.

Posted by: Brie at April 4, 2008 5:38 PM

I have to agree about The Ruins in book form having a high suckage quotient. No character development whatsoever, and what you do know about the characters is not all that appealing. And I love me some horror novels, so my opinion of the book has nothing to do with that. That said, my tolerance for trite story lines and poor character development is much much higher when it comes to horror movies. I am anxiously awaiting that review!

Posted by: little ya at April 4, 2008 6:03 PM

Any My Blueberry Nights review coming? I have a hunch that it's going to be underwhelming, but I'd like some back-up for my opinion.

The reviews have become so delayed of late...

Posted by: becca at April 4, 2008 6:14 PM

No way, the book was way cool. Tons of atmosphere. I did go in with no preconceptions, just picked it up and the suspense just kept building and building. What the horror is kind of goofy, but it didn't really matter because I was so into it. The movie trailers though look freakin' terrible. They changed a big part it looks like, the part that made it really creepy.

Posted by: jenn at April 4, 2008 6:27 PM

No love for Nurse Betty? She was so good, I forgave Zellwegger for a lot of movies after that one. Then there was Bridget Jones, the last straw.

Am I a droid? I don't know, I just never understood the depth of affection for Clooney. He's ok. Nice looking, getting a little older lately. Dresses ok. Good actor. Oh Brother was a great movie. Maybe I am a droid.

Posted by: phquaryn at April 4, 2008 6:29 PM

The trailer for The Ruins was terrible. The movie itself is pretty enjoyable. There's a few of the standard horror tropes in it, but the cast is very good, the script does not suck, and the direction really goes towards the "Less is More" philosophy.
I caught it as a matinee, but would not have been upset if I had paid full price.

Posted by: Adam C at April 4, 2008 6:47 PM

Michael Clayton "underwhelming"? Ouch.

Intolerable Cruelty a "clunker"? Double ouch.

Solaris "just painful"? Triple ouch.

a few older actresses -- Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton? [sulks]

I guess this is why The Peacemaker is one of my favorite action films and I always want the sexy sex with women who are at the ripe old age of 40. (Or 20, but that's besides the point; I'm an equal-opportunity scoundrel, that's what's important.)

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at April 4, 2008 7:13 PM

While I understand the Zellweger hate, I don't quite share it. She's rather cute, and squinchy-faced and red, red lipstick kinda works for me.

Cate Blanchett could totally own a role like this, though. And Emma Thompson, who really needs to get her sex on in a movie again.

Oh, and Clooney's cool, even though he reminds us every day that They Don't Make Them Like That Anymore.

Posted by: Meander at April 4, 2008 7:18 PM

Hate to say it, but we're ALL getting a littler older lately.

Several seemingly unrelated points:

When this was being filmed near Winston-Salem last year I was at a restaurant and saw Renee Zellweger. It was her birthday. She seemed to be having a great time and everybody left her alone. So that's nice.

She was good in Nurse Betty. And I will watch Bridget Jones from time to time on HBO.

Also, Solaris is AWESOME. Piss off. The music alone puts me in a trance. Madavis4, I hear you.

And...I love intern George.

That's all.

Posted by: AM at April 4, 2008 7:18 PM

No, it isn't.

Amy Adams could do the Mae West thing.

Posted by: AM at April 4, 2008 7:22 PM

Or wait...Jennifer Jason Leigh! She had that 20's tough-girl patter thing going on in The Hudsucker Proxy.

Yeah, I'm voing for her. We were taking a vote, weren't we?

Posted by: AM at April 4, 2008 7:25 PM

I LOVED JJL in Hudsucker. I'd vote for her trying it again.

Posted by: Meander at April 4, 2008 7:30 PM

How about Madonna?

*mad laughter*

Posted by: Cindy at April 4, 2008 8:09 PM

I am surprised by the review because I hated the trailers.

Could Jennifer Garner have pulled this off?

Posted by: richmac at April 4, 2008 9:02 PM

George Clooney is a dwarf.

who would have known.

Posted by: roulotte verte at April 4, 2008 9:23 PM

Catherine Keener should be up to the task. As should Alison Janney.

Of course, this would mean Hollywood casting female romantic leads over the age of 30.


p.s. I liked Michael Clayton.
And Solaris.
And Intolerable Cruelty.

Posted by: Simon B at April 4, 2008 9:24 PM

Hey hey, you take your heightism and you...you....you go take it somewhere, alright? Just cause your Office boy's all bovine hormone and antiobiotic-chickened up. These weirdo mutant kids today, I tell ya.

Posted by: Jay at April 4, 2008 9:28 PM

"Just cause your Office boy's all bovine hormone and antiobiotic-chickened up."

Hee hee. Oh Jay, I love you so much when you're pissy. Also, you are correct, sir. Anything over six feet is showing off.

Posted by: Sarina at April 4, 2008 9:37 PM

phquaryn - Nurse Betty is an excellent call. I will give her that. But that's it, you hear me? She doesn't get another INCH!

Sarina, I guess that makes me a show off. Apologies.

Posted by: TK at April 4, 2008 10:47 PM

Felt sure that went without saying, TK...

Oh, you meant about the height! Oh...yeah...stop that...

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 4, 2008 10:53 PM

Just cause your Office boy's all bovine hormone and antiobiotic-chickened up. These weirdo mutant kids today, I tell ya.

Ahem... As a lady at 5' 10" with a brother at 6'3"... I'd like to say I resent that statement.

Being tall does not make me a mutant, so to speak. *sigh* Now I feel like I'm reliving all of those awkward moments back in elementary school when I was consistently teased for being the lanky legged girl (a head taller than most of the guys) at the back of the line when lining up for pictures.

Tall does not equal mutant! Besides, I had my tail and pig nose removed years ago.

Posted by: Kayanne at April 4, 2008 11:43 PM

I was thinking of Amy Adams, actually. And JJL DID have that whole snappy newsgal thing rocking.

And seriously, what is with Lemonface McSquinty and the "period" films? Cold Mountain, Cinderella Man, etc...is she "that" actress?

Posted by: Nicole at April 4, 2008 11:52 PM

Nice to see that the Fug Girls let Intern George out to play a few games with the boys every once in awhile. George Clooney does nothing for me in the panty area, but I still may go see this. It doesn't look like it sucks; at least not very much.

Posted by: Kris at April 5, 2008 12:27 AM

Ahem... As a lady at 5' 10" with a brother at 6'3"... I'd like to say I resent that statement.

Well, you *have* seen these six foot basso profundo seventh graders, haven't you? They are most definitely jacked up and not drinking enough coffee to incur counter-acting stunting. If they're gonna pubesce that soon they should probably start smoking earlier too. Gotta maintain balance. But hell, I resent Clooney, who's got a couple inches on me, being called a dwarf. Besides, I was kidding.

Anyway, I have no real issues with or opinions on tall women, nor a history of any female "beanpole" baiting, so I've no conflict with you. One does get tired of hearing about a guy's tall height being his foremost positive character trait. And "oh I had to stand on my tiptoes to kiss him, tee hee!" Jeeezus. Me, I like being relatively compatible. I dated someone who was a lot shorter than me once and I just felt misaligned, not manly.

My brother got the maternal big and tall as well as his dad's family's skinny and tall and suddenly went through the roof a few years ago. Me, I had a bit of a letdown when I reached my dad's height and realized we were both entirely unimposing lil' Carpathians, blocky and near the ground to get through winter better. My significantly younger brother's certainly getting a lot balder than me, though. We all have our runny creamed corn of compromises served up by that lunch lady of fate, and she never stops. My metabolism actually sped up some at 29, but my face got a lot more sensitive to shaving. Shit makes no sense.

But still, we are ugly but we have the music, or.....something.

I've still not seen "Hudsucker" (I know, I KNOW already, let me stop you right there before everyone starts hitting me) but I'll believe you that Leigh could pull it off. It's just a shame that she instead seems to revel in roles like "Georgia". Talk about a killer of rainbows. I don't hate Renee, but I don't believe she could be Rosalind Russell either. But, in just glancing since I'd planned to see it and don't want to know *too* much, the verdict of "good enough George to spend some time with" is encouragement enough. Maybe that AMC early bird showing on Sunday.

Posted by: Jay at April 5, 2008 12:29 AM

i find miss PUCKER face a distraction also,, yuk!how about jennifer love hewitt or megan fox , something to balance out the clooney factor

Posted by: PASADENAMIKE at April 5, 2008 1:06 AM

....and to think, this motherfucker giving speeches at the U.N. like he trying to solve some shit. The only thing you need to do Clooney is keep hanging out at that Greek Island with your friends and keep fucking them young bitches that find you tasty. Leave that saving the world shit to the professionals, ok? Do me one favor, please put that poon hound Pitt out of his misery, he looks like a beaten man and I'm sure he's fed up with Ambassador Jolie. He thought he was going to hook up with her and it was going to be non stop fucking. That's what you get for going after a broad that wears a vile of blood as a piece of jewelry.

Posted by: Pookie at April 5, 2008 1:36 AM

"...runny creamed corn of compromises served up by that lunch lady of fate, and she never stops..."

Jay, you are a true wielder of words, a master smith of the verbal prose, and I applaud you for that. That was a beautiful image to offer up as counterpoint to human flaw, and one that delivers the point that a well worded...pithy and yet exquisitely detailed paragraph would go on and on about.

Basically...that was really cool, I dug it. Carry on, good sir, as only a librarian of taste can.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 5, 2008 2:20 AM

"We all have our runny creamed corn of compromises served up by that lunch lady of fate, and she never stops."

Hahahaha...Jay, I just got home and I'm drunk but I'm pretty sure that'll still be hilarious when I'm sober.

It took me five minutes to fix allthe typos in that.

Posted by: Sarina at April 5, 2008 2:21 AM

Just how drunk amI? Shadows get outta my head!

Posted by: Sarina at April 5, 2008 2:23 AM

I just saw the movie tonight and I pretty much agree completely with your review. Clooney is sexy, and the best reason to see it. Krasinski IS Jim Halpert...I swear some of the shots of him looking at Renee Zellweger were cut and pasted straight from The Office. And surprisingly, I did not want to strangle Zellweger. She was pretty good and I can't really think of anyone who would have been notably better. (I'm not going to say JJL because I hated The Hudsucker Proxy. Yes, I suck.)

Posted by: lola o at April 5, 2008 2:24 AM

Oh man, I liked Intolerable Cruelty a lot, and I was really pretty dead set on hating it when I sat down to watch it.

Is this movie as good as Down With Love? I thought that movie had some great stuff in it too. I dunno how that movie ranks in Pajibadom.

Maybe I'll have to see this.

Posted by: Bucko at April 5, 2008 2:33 AM

how about Reachel Weisz? She is smart, sexy and interesting. I think she could carry a screwball comedy well.

Posted by: ami at April 5, 2008 2:46 AM

Sarina, my bad. I keep sending out waves of thought in your direction, mistakenly thinking that you're Julie. Please stop intercepting and acting on them...unless you have your own whips...

Option B: You're reading my mind...in which case...may Godtopus have mercy on your besotted soul...

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 5, 2008 2:57 AM

I loved Solaris. Not liked, loved.

I'll go cry in the corner now.

Posted by: Sidewinder at April 5, 2008 5:56 AM

I'd forgotten about "One Fine Day", back in those days of "Let's see if Doug can really pull this off".

Man, I do miss Doug Ross. I miss Mark Greene too, but...

I didn't know "Solaris" had detractors. I'm quitting fucking around and I'm gonna watch "Intolerable Cruelty" already, as well as "The Good German". Someone returned the audiobook this week and I read the summary and thought "oh, actually that sounds interesting!".

The best screwballing I've seen in recent times is Mal and Inara.

Posted by: Jay at April 5, 2008 11:03 AM

"The problem is, ironically enough, that actresses of that mold, the Hawksian woman archetype -- smart, slightly intimidating, sexy, sophisticated, and strong -- just don't exist in the studio system like they did in the 1930s through the '60s"

On this point, the first thing I thought when I saw the trailer was that Christina Applegate should've played the Zellwegger role. In fact, I thought it was her on first glimpse. She's got the sass, looks, brains, and, most importantly, sense of humor (see "the sweetest thing", a bro-mance for women that I actually thought was funny) to pull it off.

Posted by: eastcoaste30 at April 5, 2008 1:30 PM

"(see "the sweetest thing", a bro-mance for women that I actually thought was funny)"


...am I still drunk?

Posted by: Sarina at April 5, 2008 1:50 PM

I'd have preferred seeing Rachel Weisz in the role though truthfully from the string of actresses they could have gotten I'm thankful for Renee Zellweger. She's not great but she doesn't make you want to commit suicide and with the state of cinema today I'd think that's something we could all be thankful for ...

Posted by: LittleDead at April 5, 2008 2:19 PM

You know, I'll always have a soft spot for Renee Zellweger thanks to Love & A .45. This goes for Gil Bellows and Rory Cochrane too. Not to mention the soundrack kicks serious ass. Am I the only person that's seen this? Every time I mention it to someone they give me a blank stare.

Posted by: Cherry Pie at April 5, 2008 3:30 PM

Besides, I was kidding.

Jay, so was I. (I never really had a pig nose, no comment on the tail...) No worries though, the comment about the lunch lady and creamed corn had me giggling. And now I can't stop singing the "Lunch Lady Land" song... Sloppy Joe, Slop-sloppy Joe.

Posted by: Kayanne at April 5, 2008 4:16 PM

Brie, I don't get the Renee hate, either. She's always been a solid actress in the roles I've seen her in, even if the movies themselves sucked ass. Yeah, the squintiness is annoying as hell, but I give her a pass as there seem to be few American actresses who can, you know, ACT.

roulotte verte, my understanding is that most of the well-known actors in Hollywood are, erm, vertically challenged, so no surprise to hear about George. The actresses tend to be short as well, to be fair.

Posted by: Daphne at April 5, 2008 5:33 PM

I am also a lover of the movie Solaris. I really almost cried several times which is saying something for me.

Posted by: Andrew831 at April 5, 2008 5:52 PM

All I really remember about Solaris was George Clonney's perfect ass. I mean it was better than Brad Pitt's in Troy.

Posted by: carrie at April 5, 2008 6:02 PM

Alison Janney would never have gotten this part. Good as she might have been, she would tower over Intern George.

Posted by: rlr260 at April 5, 2008 6:24 PM

And what's Lil Pajiba doing up late enough to watch Letterman?

Posted by: rlr260 at April 5, 2008 6:26 PM

I had a little fear and dread but I thought she pulled it off well enough. Nobody tried to do the speed dialogue, but the three found good character attitudes that fit the story and time. I know George can do other things than being George, but he let the George fly and it fit fine.

Thought it was a little bit long, thought it was a little corny (but, yeah, what do you expect?) but it was cute and charming so I'm good.

Had to move as I tried to follow my own pattern at first, I like the third row, but that placed me directly in front of what seemed to be a middle aged hen party kinda outing with one token husband. I entered the theater during the "Mamma Mia" trailer, so I'm groaning and not looking up on the way to the seat and then just close my eyes and hear the enjoyment happening behind me. "Heh heh, gooootta see it!!" Then there was talking, some loud laughing and someone apparently fighting a paper bag directly behind my head. That's when I headed for the stadium risers. I like being overwhelmed by the sound and vision, but it's not worth it at those times. Then people behind me started getting up a lot and jostling my seat forward. At least it was quiet.

But nothing will ever be as bad as trying to enjoy seeing a band at Constitution Hall in DC. Always helps me keep things in perspective.

Posted by: Jay at April 5, 2008 6:40 PM

Well Jay, at least you didn't innocently turn up to watch a film and find a strip show in progress. (Apparently one of the (male) staff). I ignored it as much as possible, but couldn't fail to notice that, despite being in Germany, they chose to use a British flag for the finale. Totally unnecessary

Posted by: ChrisD at April 5, 2008 7:30 PM

I want to suck Krasinski's dick until it comes out the back of my neck and of course I'd totally ride Clooney until I died of vaginal exhaustion, but RENEE ZEL-FUCKING-WEGGER. Why??? WHY DID SHE HAVE TO BE IN THIS GOTDAMNED MOVIE? Whhhhhyyyyyy?

I. Can't. Stand. Her. I can't stand to see her, and I really can't stand to watch her try to act. Even the two seconds she's in the trailers in the ads on TV make me break out in heebie jeebie hives.

For anyone who has seen it, does she make her mouth do that impression of a constipated asshole a lot in this flick, too? Because that? I can't stand more than her greasy face, squinty eyes, weird hair, or baby voice.

I swear to God I nearly had a stroke trying to watch Cold Mountain in the movie theater. She's FROM the south and her twang sounded so phony I wanted to slap the shit out of her every time she opened her mouth.

Ok enough of that, sorry. Too much hatred. I'll go back to thinking about making Krasinski splew.

Posted by: Anastasia_Beaverhausen at April 5, 2008 9:28 PM

Hey, y'all, I'm drunk. Which is why I'm going to throw out something meta (maybe not, I had a lot of shots).

What if they had cast Jenna Fischer in Sourpuss McCollarbones' role? She's hot, funny, and talented.

Bring on the PB&J!!! And another glass of Johnnie.

Posted by: Nicole at April 6, 2008 12:41 AM

Maybe if you all had gone to see "Walk Hard" the gods could've made that happen. But noooooooo.


Answering Anastasia: she wasn't full on Zellweger-things-that-annoy-people the whole time. But seeing Clooney and Krasinski want to woo and charm her will probabl drive you crazy, so I still couldn't say it's safe for you to attend.

Renee *was* able to play this role. I don't know Jenna's work enough, but I suspect it'd come out fairly different. Might be good or bad, but it's an interesting idea. I'm still a bit Bass-buzzed myself. Going to a party in a strange neighborhood and not knowing where you parked gives you a lot of time to talk to the host as she tries to escort you. The dog got a nice walk out of it. I'm gonna break out some Tostitos 'n' cheese. Hope the sandwich was good!

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2008 3:18 AM

Completely off topic, but how 'bout Charlton Heston, eh? Well, I guess we can pry the gun from his hands now....

Back on topic, Ms. Beaverhausen, are you willing to share? Take turns, perhaps?

Luckily, I'm not offended by Zellweger at all, so I'll see this with no ill effects, although I agree with what someone mentioned above--I find it hard to swallow John Krasinski as a football player. (snicker, snicker--"hard to swallow")

Posted by: Mitzi Merrynethers at April 6, 2008 10:19 AM

Maybe if you all had gone to see "Walk Hard" the gods could've made that happen. But noooooooo.

Oh man, I did see Walk Hard and that blah-tastic Blades of Glory. There is no cinema karma in this world.

And yea Jay, Renee was not bad in this movie at all. But that one scene where George spots her for the first time and it's supposed to be magical and lovely and romantic... I kept cringing because she kept making that face like her upper-lip smelled like poop. Yea she can play quick-witted, but unassuming angelic beauty? Maybe not. But blasphemous as it may have been, I'm not sure if I would have been comfy with Ms. Fischer playing the role... especially since Krasinski was already so Halpert-esque.

Honestly, I'm having trouble trying to figure out who could play the Littleton role that could play older than Krasinski and younger than Clooney and make it much more memorable. All of my favs are either too old for the part or too young for the part. I even toyed with the idea of Ms. Jolie, but I feel like she would have added too much sex to the role, ya know? Blah. Maybe Zellwegger was just right. Hmm...

Ok enough of that, sorry. Too much hatred. I'll go back to thinking about making Krasinski splew.

Ms. Beaverhausen, I like to imagine that's how you sign off on company memos.

Posted by: Kayanne at April 6, 2008 3:38 PM

the french have been putting out a steady stream of unbearable screwball comedies for the last 15 years. fortunately, when they patriated jerry lewis, they appropriated an entire genre.

perhaps television is a better medium for this sort of thing. half an hour of mr. bean on a 20 inch screen is delightful; two hours looking up his 80 foot nose ... not so much.

Posted by: celery at April 6, 2008 3:40 PM

Maybe if you all had gone to see "Walk Hard" the gods could've made that happen. But noooooooo.

Oh man, I did see Walk Hard and that blah-tastic Blades of Glory. There is no cinema karma in this world.

And yea Jay, Renee was not bad in this movie at all. But that one scene where George spots her for the first time and it's supposed to be magical and lovely and romantic... I kept cringing because she kept making that face like her upper-lip smelled like poop. Yea she can play quick-witted, but unassuming angelic beauty? Maybe not. But blasphemous as it may have been, I'm not sure if I would have been comfy with Ms. Fischer playing the role... especially since Krasinski was already so Halpert-esque.

Honestly, I'm having trouble trying to figure out who could play the Littleton role that could play older than Krasinski and younger than Clooney and make it much more memorable. All of my favs are either too old for the part or too young for the part. I even toyed with the idea of Ms. Jolie, but I feel like she would have added too much sex to the role, ya know? Blah. Maybe Zellwegger was just right. Hmm...

Ok enough of that, sorry. Too much hatred. I'll go back to thinking about making Krasinski splew.

Ms. Beaverhausen, I like to imagine that's how you sign off on company memos.

Posted by: Kayanne at April 6, 2008 3:43 PM

But that one scene where George spots her for the first time and it's supposed to be magical and lovely and romantic... I kept cringing because she kept making that face like her upper-lip smelled like poop.

Yeah, I know that moment, and it concerned me too. Once she started talking and giving him shit I felt better. It's tough, there might be an IDEAL person to cast, but I can't think of who either.

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2008 6:47 PM

Oh and Doctor Who!! I'd be hijacking a thread eventually anyway so might as well get it over with. Nice bit of score at the end, and thank you Russell for making Donna a more interesting character.

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2008 6:50 PM

I want to suck Krasinski's dick until it comes out the back of my neck and of course I'd totally ride Clooney until I died of vaginal exhaustion

WOW, Anastasia, I didn't think anyone could beat me in the "horny beyond belief" spectrum, but you have done it. I love you for making me feel normal.

And brav-fucking-o. I want to blow John K. until his ears pop.

Posted by: Julie at April 6, 2008 6:57 PM

Yeah, I know that moment, and it concerned me too. Once she started talking and giving him shit I felt better. It's tough, there might be an IDEAL person to cast, but I can't think of who either.

Yea, the giving him shit thing was cute. Clooney and Zellwegger definitely have a nice banter. But to have every guy on screen attracted to Zellwegger the moment they see her felt so... awkward...

I was thinking to myself, "somewhere out there, there's a screen goddess that would be perfect in loveliness and talent." But ya know what? I think for an unfortunate while, Hollywood was trying to push that image on ScarJo. So, maybe we should just be happy that she wasn't in the role or that the industry has kind of quit shoveling one actress down our throats.

Oh! What about Kate Winslet? I have a massive girl-crush on her, and I would have loved to see Krasinski and Clooney vie for her affections, because I would completely understand that.

Posted by: Kayanne at April 6, 2008 8:29 PM

Bring on the PB&J!!!

I was referring to Pam Beesly and Jim, but it's a tasty sand too.

I DID NOT SEE DOCTOR WHO. Don't rub it in, Jay, please please please.

Posted by: Nicole at April 6, 2008 8:39 PM

Oh! What about Kate Winslet? I have a massive girl-crush on her, and I would have loved to see Krasinski and Clooney vie for her affections, because I would completely understand that.

Damn, now I'm gonna be sad that she wasn't there. I already really liked her, but when I saw her do Clementine's hostile, overly-familiar brand of flirting on Jim Carrey A: it rang completely true and B: it would've worked the same way on me. You may have now solved this casting puzzle, Kayanne.

And such *angry* sexuality around here! My my my.

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2008 8:40 PM

Whoops, could've avoided the multiple posting.

Nicole: just go grab that torrent, and you can snag the Confidential episode while you're at it. I ain't gonna rub or reveal one more thing, but those uploaders are quick fast in a hurry, don't worry, Flavor vision ain't blurry.

(and then you can watch it again with the podcast commentary)

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2008 8:44 PM

And such *angry* sexuality around here! My my my.

Hahaha, yea... I like the idea of climbing Krasinski like a tree. But puncturing my neck to pleasure him? I dunno... That's not punishing him for doing "License to Wed," that's just punishing me for watching it. (Yea, i know. But my mom wanted to see it. *sigh* And he was so cute in boxers.)

Posted by: Kayanne at April 6, 2008 8:51 PM

Ugh, I, too could've avoided double posting, but...

Damn, now I'm gonna be sad that she wasn't there. I already really liked her, but when I saw her do Clementine's hostile, overly-familiar brand of flirting on Jim Carrey A: it rang completely true and B: it would've worked the same way on me. You may have now solved this casting puzzle, Kayanne.

Is it weird that I wanted to say. "Yes, totally! I absolutely agree. And, her breasts rock."

I mean, I have a girl crush on her, this I know. But I feel like I should appreciate her for more than her bosoms. But then that giving Clooney shit scene would make a lot more sense. Ya know?

Yea, and Winslet totally rocks the 20s period thing. And she's just so cool. Ugh, yea. Damn you Clooney! Why couldn't you have had Winslet in your mind instead of Zellwegger.

And she totally would have made this film much more memorable. And can you imagine Krasinski's "Halpert slow, broadening smile" with Winslet's "Sideways smile and look down" during the scenes where Littleton and Rutherford are flirting? Yes, absolutely. And she could have been the reporting hard-ass needed to take a bite out of the Clooney Dodge character.

Aw dangit! Where's that movie!?!

Posted by: Kayanne at April 6, 2008 9:15 PM

I've decided to boycott Dustin's reviews until he posts a retraction admitting that Solaris is indeed awesome and that he is no better than Dick Cheney's taint.

Since that will never happen after a long but stalwart campaign I will give in and claim I have made my point.

So I'll actually be still reading Dustin's reviews but also boycotting them.

Posted by: Andrew831 at April 6, 2008 9:24 PM

Ebonyfriends.com/photo/sweetlove? Someone here mentioned he joined the service a few weeks ago, it is an absolutely service for rich men to looking sexy women for extramarital relationships.. Then I can understand why his girlfriend is departing with him now!

Posted by: ac at April 6, 2008 9:34 PM

Has John Krasinski proved he could believably play another character than Jim Halpert? Don't get me wrong, I would happily be the PB in that sandwich, but I'm just sayin.

Posted by: PepperPot at April 6, 2008 10:22 PM

Kayanne, after some consideration, now you've got me firmly entrenched in the Winslet corner. I just re-watched Little Children the other night. Love her. She would have been perfect.

Posted by: Nicole at April 7, 2008 9:04 AM

"Catherine Keener should be up to the task. As should Alison Janney.

Of course, this would mean Hollywood casting female romantic leads over the age of 30."

Zellweger is 38, as someone mentioned above.

Posted by: Olivia at April 7, 2008 1:54 PM

I'm happy for Zellweger. She cut her damn hair (SO BAD) and looks like she only eats celery and lemons all the time. She seems all pissy and miserable and nothing seems to be helping. Girl NEEDS some Clooney.

Really, it was the kind thing to do.

Posted by: TWoP Fan at April 7, 2008 4:37 PM

First, let me say that I am from Duluth. I am even a fan of the Bulldogs which happens to be the mascot for the University of MN Duluth. Notice, I say I'm a fan of the mascot, he's great! Six feet tall and full of foam. I frankly don't give a damn about the team.

I saw this movie over the weekend. All I can say is that it was 100 minutes of my life that I'll never get back. I was being held prisoner at the Mall of America and my choices were to walk around and listen to obnoxious people scream at their children or go see a movie. It was either Horton Hears a Who or Leatherheads and since Mr. Clooney and Ms. Pickleface visited our little berg to promote this film, I felt vaginally obliged to see the movie.

My vagina is now very pissed off.

I started to nod off in the middle of the movie and frankly, plunking down the keystone cop thing in the middle of it was a jarring experience. I thought the writing was poor and some of Mr. Clooney's directing was suspect.

Might I suggest that Mr. Clooney revisit the city of Duluth? Stand in front of our train depot again (leave all female co-stars at home) and read a page out of our local phone book. It would be far more entertaining.

Posted by: Debbie at April 8, 2008 12:04 PM

First, let me say that I am from Duluth. I am even a fan of the Bulldogs which happens to be the mascot for the University of MN Duluth. Notice, I say I'm a fan of the mascot, he's great! Six feet tall and full of foam. I frankly don't give a damn about the team.

I saw this movie over the weekend. All I can say is that it was 100 minutes of my life that I'll never get back. I was being held prisoner at the Mall of America and my choices were to walk around and listen to obnoxious people scream at their children or go see a movie. It was either Horton Hears a Who or Leatherheads and since Mr. Clooney and Ms. Pickleface visited our little berg to promote this film, I felt vaginally obliged to see the movie.

My vagina is now very pissed off.

I started to nod off in the middle of the movie and frankly, plunking down the keystone cop thing in the middle of it was a jarring experience. I thought the writing was poor and some of Mr. Clooney's directing was suspect.

Might I suggest that Mr. Clooney revisit the city of Duluth? Stand in front of our train depot again (leave all female co-stars at home) and read a page out of our local phone book. It would be far more entertaining.

Posted by: Debbie at April 8, 2008 12:05 PM


















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