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Killer Elite Review: It's Not a Proper Stathaming, but It Will Do

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (14)



KillerElite6.jpg

Killer Elite is the worst kind of movie for writing a review. It’s certainly not a good movie, but it’s so forgettable that there’s not much in particular to talk about. I suppose that it does exactly what it sets out to do, but that’s such a low bar that I’m not giving it a trophy just for showing up. But it’s not bad enough to warrant any bile, for something to be really bad it has to be interesting in some way because at least it pisses you off. Killer Elite is like a decent fast food hamburger. It tastes exactly like you think it will taste, fills you up, and then you forget about it because you’ve eaten that exact same hamburger once a month for your entire life. That doesn’t make it a bad meal, but you’re not going to write any letters to the editor about it one way or the other.

Jason Statham stars as Jason Statham, and the film is reasonably effective whenever he is Stathaming his way through the extras. He has a certain indescrible Stathamness that inherently makes any action scene more Stathamesque. Robert DeNiro seems like he has a good time as a senior Stathamer, and Clive Owen is convincing as the enemy Statham, though his terrible thin little mustache is hardly Stathamy.

Yvonne Strahovski plays the … well, she doesn’t really play anything. She looks fetching in shorts and does manage to cry, so I suppose that’s acting, but it wasn’t really her fault that the writers didn’t give her an actual character to play. I honestly didn’t recognize her during the film, though she looked terribly familiar. It was only when I sat down to write this and saw her name on the credits that I realized that I didn’t recognize her because I’d seen her before playing a strong and independent character and not a physical description.

The film is set in 1980, which allows mildly entertaining tidbits of retro cultural references, expunges most technology hand waving we would get contemporaneously, and allows the characters to drive delicious old school cars during the mandatory car chases. Oh and also because the true story upon which it is based supposedly happened then. When are they going to learn that tacking that crap onto the front actively makes the audience less engaged? The words “true story” do not make a patently absurd action movie somehow more plausible or dramatic.

The movie suffers an immediate conflict between a decent premise and playing to its strengths. The premise is an assassin blackmailed into killing some former SAS soldiers while making the deaths look like accidents. The strength of the film is Statham. And a proper Stahaming is never going to be mistaken for an accident, so the film has to hold back instead of finding any steady rhythm.

The story certainly seems to think far more of itself than it deserves. Ooh, we’re an edgy movie because everyone is totally morally gray. No, just because you have Statham uttering cringing dialogue like “killing is easy, living with it is hard,” doesn’t make your film Unforgiven. There’s almost something deeper in there. The concept of a sort of secret alumni club of former members of the SAS is kind of intriguing in the context of an action film. And the grasps at making all sides essentially pawns in a larger and nefarious struggle has potential. There’s even a bit of moral conflict in the initial argument that the targets of the Staham are on the list essentially because they fought in a war. But none of those moral conflicts are allowed to play out in any meaningful way. It’s troublesome because the film doesn’t have the brains to actually be meaningful, but its half-assed attempts at meaning drag down whatever the action had going for it. And whatever merits of enjoyable action the first half of the film provides dissipate just about completely as the film runs off the rails in the last act. Random characters betraying each other and then having an evil monologue about oil contracts doesn’t make your film into Syriana any more than a spray tan cures rickets.

But for all that, Killer Elite is entertaining enough when it stays in the zone of a quick-moving action film. It’s when it stops to convince you that it’s smart that its three brain cells can’t keep up.

Steven Lloyd Wilson is a hopeless romantic and the last scion of Norse warriors and the forbidden elder gods. His novel, ramblings, and assorted fictions coalesce at www.burningviolin.com. You can email him here.









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Comments

“killing is easy, living with it is hard,”

Wait a COTTON-PICKIN minute here. I just watched The Mechanic (yay delicious wiry Ben Foster!) and I could swear le Statham delivered THAT EXACT LINE in that movie. (Because I cringed.) Am I confused? (It's possible.)

But, but, but in this movie he flips while tied to a chair! That's awesome!

Posted by: MM at September 23, 2011 7:27 PM

Why? WHY? WHY?!!!

Posted by: Trey_Shacksit at September 23, 2011 7:54 PM

MM, my good neighber, you have been Stathamed. It happens to the best of us and it only hurts a little the first time. You'll learn to love it.

Posted by: greer at September 23, 2011 8:12 PM

Oh, believe me, I've been Stathamed but good. In fact, you might say I'm a Statham addict. Hence why I was just watching one of his movies and know that he's delivering the same line twice...

Posted by: MM at September 23, 2011 9:09 PM

Dammit, I KNEW I shouldn't have read the review. Not because I am going to see it and expected it to be a masterpiece or anything but because SLW wrote the review. And what SLW says sticks in my brain. Always. Which means the entire time I'm watching this movie and trying to lose myself in the deliciousness that is Statham and Clive (even with the stache!), I won't be able to get SLW's words out of my head.

DAMN YOU SLW!!!

Posted by: Kelly at September 23, 2011 9:13 PM

Congratulations, this is the best thing I've read all day.

Jason Statham stars as Jason Statham, and the film is reasonably effective whenever he is Stathaming his way through the extras. He has a certain indescrible Stathamness that inherently makes any action scene more Stathamesque. Robert DeNiro seems like he has a good time as a senior Stathamer, and Clive Owen is convincing as the enemy Statham, though his terrible thin little mustache is hardly Stathamy.

Love

Posted by: Melody Be at September 24, 2011 2:38 AM

Melody Be, I just copied and pasted that exact same paragraph to repost and admire.

You're like me, but faster!! Darn you!!

Posted by: Jelinas at September 24, 2011 7:27 AM

Saw this with my sister...a truer review was never written.

Jason Statham stars as Jason Statham...

and there is NOTHING wrong with that on a Friday night!

:)

Posted by: latvianluck at September 24, 2011 8:33 AM

There is nothing wrong with Statham, absolutely nothing. He, Jet Li, and Dolph Lundgren provided enough eye candy to make the Expendables watchable. I'm a sucker for ridiculous action movies and this one will be no exception, except this time I get Deniro, Statham, and Owen so yay! The stache is yuck though.

Posted by: Melody Be at September 24, 2011 12:19 PM

Oh, Melody. How right you are. Clive and Statham on screen at the same time. Icky mustache be damned, there is no way I will watch this in public. But not for the same reasons most people won't...

Posted by: Az at September 24, 2011 3:59 PM

Terrible action movies that portray unrealistic manly men get a pass because they are "too forgettable to trash"

Terrible rom-coms are excoriated.

Discuss.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at September 24, 2011 4:58 PM

This movie just might work.

Posted by: Pookie at September 24, 2011 5:20 PM

Drab action movies with good action have at least satisfied one of the requirements of the genre. Bad rom-coms that are at least kind of funny do this as well. The problem is a lot of the time bad rom-coms are bad because they aren't funny.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 25, 2011 9:05 AM

statham?

Posted by: Protoguy at September 25, 2011 4:51 PM