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The Invisible / John Williams

Film Reviews | April 27, 2007 | Comments (30)


When I realized that The Invisible had not been prescreened for critics, I suffered a fit of panic, assuming this meant it was at least as bad, if not worse than, this week’s other releases, which included Next and Kickin’ it Old Skool. Yikes.

Well, The Invisible is a stinker, but I won’t lie: If you’re 14 and kind of slow, you might enjoy it. A collage of elements from much better movies, it features good-looking high school kids walking through a non-mystery while every three or four minutes a full-on Snow Patrol video breaks out.

Establishing how bad it is, before a broader summary, only requires a straightforward description of one early scene:

Nick (Justin Chatwin), a CW-dreamy high school senior who aspires to be a poet, sits at the breakfast table with his mom (Marcia Gay Harden). The iciness of their relationship is apparent. Still, she has set out a plate for him with two fried eggs and bacon in the shape of a smiley face. (For those with severe visualization problems, the eggs are the eyes, and two joined strips of bacon curl upwards to form the smile.) After some stilted, antagonistic dialogue, she looks at Nick’s T-shirt, which says “Gluten Free,” and disdainfully asks, “What is that, irony?” A sullen Nick stares ahead, away from mom, and then slowly — I swear — flips his bacon over so it makes a frown.

Anybody still here? OK, here’s the lowdown on the rest:

Against his mother’s wishes, Nick is secretly planning a move to London to participate in a writer’s program (never mind that the one poem to which we’re treated, more than once, is laughable, something about how at night his skin turns into the dust of bones or some such nonsense). (And continuing the parenthetical mood, what’s happened to Harden? I haven’t seen a strong, convincing performance by her in some time. I’m tempted in this case to say it’s just the material, but the kids act circles around her. And the kids are pretty bad.)

Just before he’s scheduled to leave, Nick gets tackled and punched in the cafeteria by the school’s toughie drug dealer, who happens to be a girl, Annie (Margarita Levieva), with the cheekbones of Jessica Alba and the ever-present knit cap of Enrique Iglesias. When she gets busted for a jewelry heist soon after, she wants to know who called the cops. Under interrogation by Annie’s thugs, Nick’s best friend, Pete (Chris Marquette), names Nick as the snitch (it wasn’t really him), figuring he’s safely overseas.

He’s not. He’s still in Seattle, and Annie ends up delivering a kick to his face that presumably kills him. For the rest of the movie, one Nick — bodily-Nick — is splayed in a sewer drain, unconscious and close to death, while the other — spirit-Nick — gets to roam around, a la Patrick Swayze in Ghost, trying to solve his own murder. Unlike Swayze, though, who was dead as a doornail and just looking for closure (and maybe one more spectral feel-up of Demi Moore), Nick is in a purgatorial state. Getting people to find his body in time could save his life.

Frustrated by his inability to influence events now that he’s ethereal, spirit-Nick tries to kill himself, and I don’t blame him; I might try, too, if so many Coldplay and Radiohead rip-offs were the soundtrack to my every step. He fails, bullets not working so well on spirits. Good thing, too, because he eventually figures things out, with the aid of Annie, who we see sneaking into Nick’s room, talking to his photos (how convenient for exposition) and making it clear that she had affection for him when they were younger. In other words, she may have secretly loved the guy she killed. How emo is that?!

The movie begins and ends with embarrassingly bad scenes, but everything in the middle has at least some potential heft to it, and the cinematography is much better than what’s deserved. But with so many superior alternatives for this kind of fix — Ghost, The Sixth Sense, Donnie Darko, Brick — a few small, wasted strengths aren’t enough to lift The Invisible above the category of unnecessary failures.

John Williams lives in Brooklyn. He’s an editor at Harper Perennial and a freelance writer. He blogs at A Special Way of Being Afraid.


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Comments

FIRST!!!!!!! but seriously, where was the review?

Posted by: brandt at April 28, 2007 7:48 PM

I lived in the Seattle area for many years and during that time I bought a wide variety of substances form various people. Not once did I ever meet a dealer remotely capable of kicking the life out of someone.

Posted by: jbrader at April 28, 2007 8:03 PM

I wasn't gonna see this crap anyway, but I had to pause after reading about the eggs part. God, if that's supposed to cause tension or be a sign of drastic character development, that's just pitiful.

Posted by: Brie at April 28, 2007 8:07 PM

jbrader...I think my new threat will be "I'm going to kick the life out of you!" at least it'll be original for a while.
yeah, I looked forward to this movie for months...and now my heart is broken.

Posted by: Rebekah at April 28, 2007 9:32 PM

Every time I saw a trailer for this movie I thought that kid was Ryan Gosling. Now that I know it's not I won't be seeing this.

Posted by: Sarafina at April 28, 2007 10:58 PM

"If you're 14 and kind of slow, you might enjoy it."


and that's all you gotta say....perfect!

Posted by: maxpurr9 at April 28, 2007 11:21 PM

my friends and i walked out of the theater completely dissappointed.

we were thinking that movie would be better for mystery science theater.

Posted by: ana at April 28, 2007 11:26 PM

ive been wondering the same thing with marcia gay harden. her performance in the hoax was so terrible i nearly died from laughing fits every time she spoke...that accent....oooo boy...and that was stronger material than this cw reject crap.

Posted by: jordan at April 29, 2007 12:55 AM

the sad thing is that this movie is a rip-off of an actually decent swedish movie

Posted by: Cap at April 29, 2007 7:41 AM

A sullen Nick stares ahead, away from mom, and then slowly -- I swear -- flips his bacon over so it makes a frown.

LOL--never mind CW. That sort of thing puts me more in mind of the Braffish "Garden State"-style movies we've been discussing the last while. I picture that scene set to a The Acorn soundtrack, or such-like.

Highly precious.

Posted by: Ranylt at April 29, 2007 9:15 AM

No offense, but honestly: SHE (girl in the pic above I assume) is supposed to be a "toughie drug dealer"? She looks like freakin' Hermione (sp?) Granger! How is anyone supposed to take her seriously, or for that matter, take Nick seriously, since he got his ass handed to him by her?

Posted by: Vermillion at April 29, 2007 3:29 PM

I wasn't expecting much but is the plot that thin??

Posted by: Candy at April 29, 2007 3:56 PM

"a kick to his face that presumably kills him"
Can we do that to people who write FIRST!!!!
Pretty please?

Posted by: static at April 29, 2007 4:17 PM

okay ummm everyone just shut the fuck up that was a great movie and the poems are fricken cool. "If you're 14 and kind of slow, you might enjoy it."?? the person who wrote this is a fuckin dick. he doesnt know what the hell he's talkin about.
and "a kick to his face that presumably kills him".... 3 people beat the shit out of him first with bats. so yea, a fricken kick to the head would almost kill him (brain damge).
wow
some people can be such dicks

Posted by: Zach at April 29, 2007 10:46 PM

Could anyone tell me the title of the Swedish film this is based on? Cause I'd rather rent that than go see this... I may be an escapist, but even I draw the line at slow 14-yr old fare.

Posted by: cinekat at April 30, 2007 4:14 AM

Yeah, u guys, you need to STEP OFF because that poem sounds fukin cool- ha ha you guys are OLD and so u don't no nothing about what good poems r. U r fukin dicks! And ur OLD. Zach... Dude.. ur Da Shit.

Also, you are apparently the demographically perfect poster child for whom this movie was specifically made. So, YAY, the director did a GREAT job. Would Zach lie? I think not.

I weep for the future.

That is all.

Posted by: Blackwater Hattie at April 30, 2007 8:49 AM

I am continually amazed that some people come to a site with the phrase "Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People" in the tagline and are surprised when they find a scathing review and a bunch of bitchy commenters.

Posted by: stardust savant at April 30, 2007 9:34 AM

I couldn't agree more Stardust... unless these are the kind of people who love a movie so much *coughTylerPerryfanaticscough* that they just google it with the intention of jumping into the comments section and blindly defending it.

Unless Zach is some kind of brilliant satirist and none of us are hip enough to get it? No? Damn.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at April 30, 2007 9:55 AM

The first time I saw the trailer for this movie, I wondered if the kid was really alive (from the makers of... is a really bad way to present a movie that supposedly has a "twist" in it), and I wondered then just as I'm wondering now-How does one solve one's own murder if they is not yet dead? It doesn't make much sense.

Well, yeah, I thought that first. And then I thought that Ghost is probably a million times better and I hate that movie.

Posted by: zambonigirl at April 30, 2007 2:02 PM

OK...Bill Maher needs to make a new rule for douchebags like BRANDT. All the dumb fucks with the "First!!!" obsession shall be taken out to a rocky shoreline where they shall be brutally raped by a 9-dicked walrus in a shockingly non-lubricious fashion. To Brandt I say fuck you! There's the review....you just fucking read it...in a nutshell the movie was about as exciting as doing laundry but not homicide inducing. What did you read in advance to your post??????? Directions on the back of a package of asshole carckers?

Posted by: PissBoy at April 30, 2007 2:23 PM

...and Zach. Fuck you. I am confident this statement will not be addressed by you as I am 90% sure you are on a rotating school schedule and, by the time your 14 year old, life-is-a-collection-of-10-second-sound-and-video-clips, short-attention-span-theater-type of mind, reads this comment, it will be in study hall...at least 2pm on Friday. By that time someone will have jingled some keys in your face or shown you a shiny piece of plastic and your attention will have been forever stolen. Thanks. And do your fuckin' math homework.

Posted by: PissBoy at April 30, 2007 2:34 PM

Pissboy -

You wouldn't happen to be a "Guillotine" player, would you?

Posted by: Ranylt at April 30, 2007 2:56 PM

I think, no, i'm sure, Zach was the writter, producer, director or at least held something in that movie. Because defending this piece of hooey has no other possible explanation!!!

Posted by: NDR at April 30, 2007 3:14 PM

I heart pissboy.

Posted by: shannon at April 30, 2007 4:20 PM

I am so upset by this, because the Swedish version FUCKING CHANGED MY LIFE. The Swedish version was such a good movie, it stuck in my head for days after I viewed it.

You guys HAVE to watch the Swedish version. I'm so pissed that the American writing team had to fuck it up for audiences over here.

It's called The Osynlige.

There's a bazillion torrents of it out there. Find one.

Posted by: blondi at April 30, 2007 7:56 PM

"okay ummm everyone just shut the fuck up that was a great movie and the poems are fricken cool."

Ooh, Zach! Show us some of yours!

You *do* have a notebook full of poems under your bed, don't you? I'll just bet you do...


PS, everyone--whay is so annoying, actually, about people writing "first"? How come that ticks people off so bad? I've been wondering about the virulent haterd for awhile, and I'm curious...

Posted by: Vi at May 1, 2007 4:31 AM

Vi: it's the equivalent of that kid in school who held his hand up after a question was asked and held it straigh up with his OTHER hand grasping his forearm. Or that guy you hate playing Monopoly with because he feels the need to narrate the rules of the game DURING the game, despite the fact that we all fucking know how to play Monopoly. Or my sister-in-law, who cannot trip, spill, fall or drop something without announcing it to the world in hopes that by acknowledging her slip, somehow we won't all think she's a dope (when in reality, no one cares or noticed).

Posted by: courtney at May 1, 2007 12:21 PM

Exactly - the idiocy of declaring "First!" when anyone who can read obviously knows this is almost beyond compare. Not to mention how juvenile it is - when blogging becomes a competitive sport, let me know. Otherwise, shut up, please.

Posted by: Daphne at May 1, 2007 7:06 PM

I saw the original, and am pretty amazed that it HAS been remade. I mean.. it was a fun movie but there was nothing "OTHER PEOPLE THAN THE SWEDES NEED TO SEE THIS" about it.

Posted by: Jaap at May 2, 2007 3:49 AM

I've never seen it described as eloquently as courtney did above. Bravo I say. Bravo.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at May 2, 2007 3:57 AM