haroldkumar1sm.jpg

White Castle Fries Only Come In One Size

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay / Agent Bedhead

Film Reviews | April 28, 2008 | Comments (56)


Stoner comedies are a dime bag a dozen, and, like so many such slacker-oriented comedies, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle went largely unnoticed at the box office but found its redemption by reaching cult status upon DVD release. The film’s excessively banal humor and high gross-out factor were surprisingly tolerable because of the film’s vague undercurrent of of cleverness and self-awareness, which never ascended to the levels of artificiality. The enduring friendship and genuine rapport between Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) seemed realistic enough, and the film only really wanted to entertain its audiences through a hilariously absurd storyline of two buddies on the ultimate quest to satisfy their extreme munchies. While I’d personally rather shit twice and die than eat a White Castle hamburger, the first film, despite its grotesqueness, carried an inexplicably charming aura, which was likely due to the understated performances of the starring comedic duo. For those who were bedazzled by Harold and Kumar’s first cinematic venture, let me harsh your buzz a bit by asserting that something went quite wrong when screenwriters John Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg assumed the directorial chairs for the followup, Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. Since we’re in sequel territory at this point, one would assume bigger misadventures for the stoner duo, but, instead of fortifying the duo’s supply of weed, the size of their baggies has merely been increased and cut with the hair of your college roomate’s Chia Pet. Never mind that four years have elasped between Go To White Castle and the filming of Escape from Guantanamo Bay, and, consequently, Kal Penn no longer looks like a freshly graduated twenty something.

Damn that hard-living, junk-food loving lifestyle.

So, last time we left our elegantly wasted antiheroes, the Asian-American Harold and the Indian-American Kumar had just reached their grease-laden oasis and downed the coveted “slyders.” Escape from Guantanamo Bay picks up the story a few hours later and immediately sets the tone with a lovely opening scene involving Kumar on the toilet because, you see, those 30 slyders eventually have to go somewhere. Afterwards, Harold and Kumar head towards Amsterdam where the drugs are dope and the girls are fly. This leads to the rather predictable racial-profiling scene at the airport security checkpoint followed by Kumar’s next auspicious trip to the lavatory, where his smokeless bong is mistaken for a bomb. After the requisite tackle and arrest, Harold and Kumar find themselves at Guantanamo Bay. The stoners’ stay at the federal detention center is very brief, as opposed to the rest of the film, but the resulting sights and sounds make this sequence feel a whole lot longer.These Gitmo guards force their inmates to perform sex upon the guards themselves, which somehow seems completely backwards, but, then again, looking for consistency in a stoner flick isn’t an encouraged practice. Harold and Kumar quickly escape and hitch a ride to Miami with some Cuban refugees. The drug-fueled odyssey continues towards Texas, where they hope that their politically-connected college buddy Colton (Eric Winter) can help the duo clear their names. On the way, Harold and Kumar attend an authentic “bottomless party,” wander into a Ku Klux Klan rally, and acquire many other tasteless experiences. Of course, there is also the well-publicized pot-smoking session with the commander-in-chief George W. Bush (James Adomian), which packs little punch for what it could have been.

Admittedly, this just a stoner comedy and shouldn’t be taken seriously, but the subject matter — homophobia, racism, terrorism, rape, torture, incest — is pretty hefty. Humor can often heal, and, ideally, would remedy the box-office fatigue exhibited by the failure of recent war-related films. That was my only hope for this film, but the script is far too uneven for the overall humor to work here. I can appreciate outrageousness as much as anyone else, but to be outrageous just to be outrageous and then to lazily rocket-launch it in the general direction of grand statements about lofty topics, well, it just doesn’t work for me. The main downfall of Escape from Guantanamo Bay is the misguided sequel thinking of the filmmakers. Instead of carrying on what really worked in the first film, the storyline of the sequel is too aspirational, and that’s not what the relatively innocent charm of the first “Harold and Kumar” film — an absurdly simple, yet ultimately entertaining, roadtrip adventure — was all about. While a film sequel should never merely rehash its predecessor, both films should at least run thematically parallel to each other. With Escape from Guantanamo Bay, the broad-based offensiveness feels less spontaneous and more scattershot, and the racial satire isn’t aimed well enough to actually succeed. Worst of all, this sequel just isn’t as funny as the original. One exception to this would be the return of Neil Patrick Harris playing a twisted version of himself: a shroom-eating, whore-loving, and very heterosexual version of “Neil Patrick Harris.” Of course, since the first film, Harris has officially come out of the closet, which makes his performance as himself even more subversive and actually gets the point across that, when it comes to stereotypes, virtually no one is what they seem to be. When the former “Doogie Howser, M.D.” visits a bordello helmed by Sally (Beverly D’Angelo), it feels like the best “E! True Hollywood” story ever. Sadly, this guilty pleasure is one of the only real hits from this film’s bong.

For all its misguidedly overambitious and extravagant themes, Escape from Guantanamo Bay probably won’t disappoint those who look forward to a consistent supply of raunchy jokes that largely center upon our society’s unfortunate preoccupation with bodily functions. These highlights include urine and ejaculation facials, lots of full-frontal male and female nudity, and a Secretary of Defense Ron Fox (Rob Corddry) who wipes his ass with the Bill of Rights. With that said, the film’s cult audience will probably enjoy what’s been loaded up in this pipe, and the film will probably fare excellently at the box office as long as the concession stands properly provide copious amounts of bitchin’ munchies.

Agent Bedhead (a.k.a. “Kimberly”) lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma and may never get rid of the contact high. She and her little black heart can be found at agentbedhead.com.


Lost: The Shape of Things to Come | Pajiba Love 04/28/08





Comments

first?

While the movie really wasn't as funny as the first (are they ever) I don't think it's fair to call it out for not following through with social criticisim. That just isn't the movie that people paid to see.

Posted by: Victoria at April 28, 2008 2:40 PM

I LOVE my preoccupation with bodily functions.

Posted by: prawntastic at April 28, 2008 2:41 PM

Nice review, Bedhead. I loved the first one, but this one was lacking in parts. The part about the movie being outrageous just to be outrageous was very true. The first one had it's share of toilet humor, but it was more satirical than anything else. This went over the top with nastiness. I didn't need to see (or hear) Kumar on the toilet.

What really ruined it for me was the extremely predictable Kumar love story. The moment his ex-gf shows up and we meet her fiance, I knew exactly what was gonna happen, right down to the wedding scene.

While the politics of this one sometimes overrode the plot, it was funny watching Corddry's asshole character interact w/ other cultures. The scene in the ghetto was classic.

The best scene was Emo Harold. It was so brief, but Cho was brilliant.

Posted by: Brie at April 28, 2008 2:49 PM

I am hereby putting forward a motion to draw & quarter anybody who uses the word "first" in a post unless it is preceded and immediatly followed by another word in a manner that constructs a coherent sentence.

It does not add to a comment (in fact, it takes away from it)
It does not make you seem cooler (quite the contrary)
You do not win a prize
It makes absolutely no sense
And it just annoys the hell out of me

And I don't care if you type it in jest, it is still just as annoying

great review Bedhead
Don't know if I will be seeing this in theaters, but if not I will definetly be renting it. The first one amused me enough and I love me some NPH

Posted by: Bethy at April 28, 2008 2:55 PM

wow...I just read my comment

I really am in a bitchy mood today!

Posted by: Bethy at April 28, 2008 2:56 PM

I never saw the first (haha) Harold and Kumar movie, something my few remaining stoner friends bitch at me for until they get distracted by the smell of something yummy or a cartoon and leave me alone. So I'm not especially inclined to see this. I'm a fan of stupid movies, don't get me wrong. I have an absurd love of Eurotrip and nothing will make me happier on a Saturday afternoon (hangover theatre, anyone?). But I really doubt I'm going to pay money to go and see this. But the suave mystery that is Neil Patrick Harris intrigues me.

Posted by: Sharon at April 28, 2008 3:05 PM

I think just the title of this movie is enough to convey that it won't have the charm of the first movie-- White Castle vs. Guantanamo Bay.

Though I am glad to hear NPH does well in this one, as his ridiculousness in the first movie was my favorite part. I'm excited for when this makes it to the $1.99 theater.

And that I am back to having access to a $1.99 theater.

Posted by: artificialsweet5 at April 28, 2008 3:20 PM

As disappointed as I am to hear that the sequel will likely fall short of my expectations, my husband and I will likely go see the movie anyway. Although I'm not really a fan of overusing the toilet humor, this film seems like it would be a nice mindless way to unwind from the work week, and dammit, I'll take what I can get. It does please me to know that Neil Patrick Harris' return in this movie is one of the highlights. That was something I was really looking forward to seeing.

Posted by: JTate at April 28, 2008 3:25 PM

I saw this on Saturday, and although there are certainly some decent laughs in there, it's nowhere near as funny as the original. What worked for the first movie, in my mind, was that it was mainly a stoner movie with gross-out humour that also happened to make fun of racism in a way that wasn't offensive. Stretching that to the point of terrorism jokes and run-ins with the KKK was a little too much. It felt as though the writer/directors took what worked about the first one and figured if they took that further, multiplicative laws would mean it would be even funnier. Sorry, nope.
It's not bad, it's just that I hoped it would be better, particularly since I think the leads are so likeable.

Posted by: Lannie at April 28, 2008 3:30 PM

I've never had a White Castle hamburger since there are none in my part of the country. I always thought they might taste like a Krystal. I don't know why, maybe I'm just associating the castle/crystal similarities in the words.

I never saw the first film, don't plan to see this one either.

Posted by: rlr260 at April 28, 2008 3:39 PM

Not to nit-pick but the Gitmo guards demand oral not anal. "It ain't gay to get your dick sucked." Do we have a Maxim situation here at Pajiba???
Anyway there is no way the sequel could capture the magic of the first. It is a sequel after all, to a stoner movie no-less. Though I think you are being a little harsh on it. There is no way this was going to be a "good movie." It is 105 minutes of mindlessness. Yes I could have done without the political stuff and yes it is high on the low brow humor. But think about the target audience. The dude with the dreads sitting behind me couldn't stop laughing nor could the the bloodshot eyed kids beside me. Grab your favorite vice and go laugh at the stupid.

Oh and Long Live NPH.

Okay, I definitely saw something anal going on in the background at Gitmo. Gawd forbid that I imagined that detail. - AB

Posted by: Mark at April 28, 2008 3:41 PM

I hate that Kal Penn is on House. He kind of ruined my life.

But I love the title of the review, and that's what the Boys had to change it to because the song was originally written by Run DMC. The original lyric was, "D sees real well 'cause he has four eyes," but they left the song off and it was one of their favorites, so they let 'em use it.
Word.

Posted by: Kash at April 28, 2008 4:00 PM

This movie sucked, I thought Neil Patrick Harris of all people would know better than to get mixed up in some shit.

Posted by: Pookie at April 28, 2008 4:04 PM

'First' people are usually the same people who think 'tooken' is a word. 'First' people tend to think the cat-taking-a-shit in Date Movie was the funniest thing this side of takin' it in the nuts, which is AWESOMELY funny to them, but only when V/O is done by Bob Saget or {shudder} Tom Bergeron. 'First' people use words like 'hot', 'tasty', or 'retrosexual' to describe their "fashions". 'First' people OMG!LOL! txt msg OMG! in teh middle of a movie. 'First' people wear wrap-around faux gucci glasses. 'First' people buy new shells for their cell phones, and have "Supah-man" as their ringtone because it's off the fucking chain. 'First' people don't know that MTV actually used to play FULL-LENGTH videos, almost all.day.long and there was never a little box in the bottom of the screen of some bedazzled tweener named Brittany '...from long island and i want to say that the Jonas Borthers are totally hot on my TRL TeeeeeHeee!!'. 'First' people are about to realize that the names Tyler, Todd, Tucker, Brittany, Kirsten, and Kristin were trendy once, but have now been replaced by Jayden, Cayden, Aiden, Bella, et al. In the words of George Carlin "...These are not real names. You wanna hear a real name? Eddie. Eddie is a real name. What happened to Eddie? He was hear a minute ago. Jackie and Mikey and Tommy and Bill. Danny, Larry, Johnny, and Phil. What happened? Todd. And Cody, and Dillon, and Cameron, and Tucker. Hi Tucker! I'm Todd. Hi Todd! I'm Tucker. Fuck Tucker. Tucker sucks. And fuck Tucker's friend Kyle..." 'First' people think pink is a pimp color. 'First' people base their fashion off an excedingly annoying forced-reality TV culture. 'First' people need something bad to happen to them. 'First' people need to be punched in the throat with my car keys, layed in front of the MurderTank, and sacrificed to the almighty Godtopus. 'First' people are proof that EVERYONE is focusing on harnissing whatever 15 minutes they can even if it comes at the expense of losing teeth on the homepage of break.com. 'First' people get the only news they bother to read from a fat guy with technicolor hair, a huge overbite, and a giant John Mayer (and donut) obsession. 'First' people make my left eye twitch and make me want to do bad things to small animals. 'First' people frustrate me to no end, but then I remember...if there weren't any 'first' people today, who would pump my gas tomorrow??

Posted by: PissBoy at April 28, 2008 4:17 PM

Last November we did a hockey tour of some US and Canadian cities and made a point of trying to find a White Castle. In Detroit there was one close to hotel and stopped by. Shit, this was some gross ass food. It was like eating wet, snotty kleenex. No taste, no texture, just soft, mooshy and greasy. We weren't stoned, just hung over, not sure if you are required to be stoned to be able to stomach it. On the other hand it would have been worse to love it and not be able to get any expect on vacation.

Posted by: grinder at April 28, 2008 4:19 PM

*harnessing

Posted by: PissBoy at April 28, 2008 4:20 PM

In spite of the shitty reviews I will be seeing this tonight, keeping my expectations really low should help. Ever since the first movie I wanted to try White Castle. Last November we did a hockey tour of some US and Canadian cities and made a point of trying to find one. In Detroit there was one close to hotel and stopped by. Shit, this was some gross ass food. It was like eating wet, snotty kleenex. No taste, no texture, just soft, mooshy and greasy. We weren't stoned, just hung over, not sure if you are required to be stoned to be able to stomach it. On the other hand it would have been worse to love it and not be able to get any.

Posted by: grinder at April 28, 2008 4:23 PM

I dunno PissBoy

I still say we kill em all
the people who had a combined score of 210 on their SATs can pump our gas, as usually they are not "first" people

if you go out on a murdering rampage in the MurderTank, I SO have shotgun

this weather is putting me in a foul mood and I need something to take it out on

preferablly something (someone....) who will give slight chase and beg for their life before I smash them to bits with a rock...

[takes deep breath to calm down]

but yeah, I am totally in on any killin spree, long as you're stocking Tanguray Ten in the bar of the MT

let me know

Posted by: Bethy at April 28, 2008 4:24 PM

Shit! Sorry about the double post.

Posted by: grinder at April 28, 2008 4:25 PM

I first tasted White Castles on a trip to the US in my 20s. I thought they were vile, greasy abominations. I was home about 6 months when I suddenly started craving them. Seriously. It's been an addiction ever since, although my vow to eat no meat unless I can confirm it's been ethically raised has kept me on the wagon for over 2 years.
Hello my name is PaddyDog and I'm a recovering White Castle addict.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 28, 2008 4:34 PM

"...These are not real names. You wanna hear a real name? Eddie. Eddie is a real name. What happened to Eddie? He was hear a minute ago. Jackie and Mikey and Tommy and Bill. Danny, Larry, Johnny, and Phil. What happened? Todd. And Cody, and Dillon, and Cameron, and Tucker. Hi Tucker! I'm Todd. Hi Todd! I'm Tucker. Fuck Tucker. Tucker sucks. And fuck Tucker's friend Kyle..."

!!! That is from one of my FAVORITE Carlin stand-up specials ever. Awesome.

Posted by: Julie at April 28, 2008 4:48 PM

I envy all the lucky bastards who can eat White Castle. Unfortunately, they make me sick, but I love them. The last time I had one was when the first Harold & Kumar came out. After the movie ended, there was a line around the block at that place; it was across the street from the theater! I had had bad experiences w/ them before, but I figured I'd be ok. Nope.

I only ate one and felt like shit the rest of the night.

Posted by: Brie at April 28, 2008 5:00 PM

Although Harold Cho has inadvertently raped my childhood via his association w/JJ Abrams and the "new" Star Trek movie, I must admit I love him. I also love Kal Penn, even more so because right after I saw White Castle I saw him in the newest film in the Superman francise and felt bad b/c he had no speaking parts. It's a thing, whatever.

I love re-watching the original White Castle movie and getting more and more enjoyment out of it as the years go by and the world changes---NPH comes out of the closet, Katie Holmes disappears into one, etc., etc. And I will love watching this new installment in the Harold & Kumar empire because (and I freely admit I have not yet watched the movie yet but oh my god I will...multiple viewings, some on the same day, most at the same theater, those knowing looks from the food counter & ticket counter be damned!) of when and how jokes about blumpkin become (and became, I guess) mainstream.

I have already found myself laughing out loud at the previews for this movie where they overlay the clips w/"cleaned up" versions of dialogue. As my four year old nephew would say, you can butter my muffin anyday. Anyday.

Posted by: Verilium at April 28, 2008 5:02 PM

I loved the first White Castle movie and yes, every time I watch I get a mad craving for some of the food. So much so, that we would buy it beforehand and eat while watching.

My husband and I went to the movie opening night. When I went to buy tickets, I got carded. The theater was full of teenagers half my age. A cop kept coming in and telling them to be quiet - finally escorting one heckler out.

That said, the movie left something to be desired. It was disjointed, didn't flow well, and seemed like the entire movie Harold had his bitchface on and Kumar just did stupid shit to cause the bitchface.

I still laughed during most of the movie, though the last 30 minutes went down the drain. The whole predictable, cheesy, wedding scene in the end was pretty bad. The filmmakers, however, absolutely reached their target (drunken/stoned teenage guys) demographic with their material.

And although I love Kal Penn, maybe he should hold off on those sliders.

Posted by: g3 at April 28, 2008 5:22 PM

I feel it is important to mention that Eric Winters is incredibly pretty.
I tolerated my roommate's obsession with motherfucking Wildfire for him. I'm not ashamed.

Posted by: serena at April 28, 2008 5:24 PM

I'm already drunk Bethy. So Skittimus will have to drive. I'll just sit in the back seat and revel at how cool the window feels against my forehead as I try not to pass out. Your weather couldn't possibly be as poop-tacular as what we're gettin here in the Philly area.

Posted by: PissBoy at April 28, 2008 5:32 PM

I am not reading your review because I want to see the film with no preconceptions. This is just to say I am gay for Neil Patrick Harris as a straight man.

Posted by: Flea at April 28, 2008 5:40 PM

cool cool, glad Skitt is drivin, cause I had already nipped into a few beers myself

and I think my weather could be and is
northern New England my friend, northern New England

its cold, windy, very rainy and my roof is currently leaking...

it really is a miserable state of affairs

Posted by: Bethy at April 28, 2008 5:48 PM

Bethy, you have just given me cause to leave work early and have a beer. :) Our weather IS gross, rainy and cold again...which usually I don't mind, but since last week was 75 and absolutely cloudless I'm feeling bitter.

I could see my breath this morning. Total crap.

On topic, I'll rent this movie. The first one cracked me up, but aside from the presence of NPH I'm feeling pretty meh about this one.

Posted by: Julie at April 28, 2008 5:53 PM

Jesus Christ is it really that big of a deal that I typed "first"? Yes, it's annoying, but is it really THAT big of a deal. It's not like I typed the rest of the comment in text-speak, nor do I ever use text-speak. I also don't happen to find Date Movie funny at all, and would I really be here at Pajiba if I did? So don't be a jackass because someone typed ONE word...

Posted by: Victoria at April 28, 2008 5:57 PM

I know Julie!! I had changed over my wardrobe to spring clothes, broken out the flip flops and was already plotting out which of my neighbors flowers I would steal from their yard to make a nice bouquet...

then the New England I know and (sigh) love turned around and slapped me in the face

and it is going to be like this all week too, which suuuuuuuucks

Posted by: Bethy at April 28, 2008 6:05 PM

Victoria, you might have to come to terms with the fact that we are a bunch of pompous elitists here

"first" are the kinds of things we gather at Pajiba to get away from

you had a very valid comment, but you canceled it all out by doing a thing that is usually only done by the vapid and self-absorbed

and "first" is a rather silly practice, no?

bitching is what we do here

(but kudos for fighting back)

Posted by: B at April 28, 2008 6:12 PM

course then I go and type my name wrong.....

Posted by: Bethy (previously known as B) at April 28, 2008 6:13 PM

I'm sorry but this movie is getting way too easy of a review from both the actual reviewer and the posters. How is this movie any different than goddamn Super movie? If you people keep seeing this crap stop complaining that something just as stupid gets made.

I don't give it a pass because it's a stoner movie. A comedy is supposed to be a comedy and it's supposed to be funny. While that is subjective to a certain degree bodily functions are not hilarious. Ejaculations aren't funny. Taking a huge dump isn't funny. I sat through about 30 minutes of the first one and I won't be seeing this one. Now if someone can explain to me why this movie is getting a free pass I'll be happy.

Posted by: LittleDead at April 28, 2008 6:13 PM

Consider me disappointed. When I heard there way a Kumar Love Interest Sub-Plot I could only hope that it was the enormous bag of weed. Also, count me in on this anti-weather movement. Michigan weather has failed me for the last time! (Also, Pissboy, you are a personal idol. Not trying to be mean to Victoria, I just am in awe of how you can express such rage from pure text. It radiates from the screen with the heat of a thousand suns)

Posted by: Tyranthesaurus Rex at April 28, 2008 6:14 PM

It is a stupid practice. On the other hand I don't even think being a pompous elitist warrants writing a 500 word comment on one goddamned word. I guess I wouldn't know though I'm just a pompous elitist in training.

Posted by: Victoria at April 28, 2008 6:25 PM

Ok, LittleDead. I'm not as eloquent, but what the hell.

I don't know if you saw the first H&K, but it's definitely not the same as Superhero/Scary/Epic/
Whatever movie is out. I wasn't going to see it for the same reasons...it looked like a goofy stoner flick. But it's genuinely funny, and instead of the leads being the same stupid ass idiots that are always shown, they're 2 fairly intelligent guys. Being Korean-American & Indian-American (is that correct?) they deal with some typical backwards stereotype shit, despite the fact that they behave like any other American guy(s?). Harold deals with the "Asian" stereotype that he loves math, happily works all day long, and has no backbone. Kumar is tired of everyone pushing him to be a doctor because that's what all the men in his family do. Like anyone else, they're striving to find themselves and their own degree of happiness in a world that says they should be going another way. Does H&K1 go over the top? Sometimes, but I found myself laughing more at the heart of the movie than the weed jokes. I thought it was a cute, fun take on the stoner movie.

The Superhero/Scary movie franchise doesn't even try; that's the difference. Frankly, they take any joke about pop culture and shit it out on a film reel and present it to the public, hoping they'll find some common thread that has to do with the movie's "plot".

Posted by: Brie at April 28, 2008 6:46 PM

Quick question about the Murder Tank: why does someone need to be sober to drive it? It's a god damn MURDER TANK. It seems like being shitfaced would improve its ability to murder people. Just sayin'.

Posted by: the_wakeful at April 28, 2008 7:08 PM

I really love Kal Penn (did anyone see The Namesake, he was wonderful), and the first one was surprisingly amusing...so I may have to see this despite the negative reviews, but perhaps via netflix.

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at April 28, 2008 7:14 PM

Brie, I did see the first H&K and nothing they did smacked of any attempt at humor. Now, admittedly I did judge it too harshly by linking it with Super Movie. However, it crosses the line when it tries to deal with issues it has no business with dealing in such an off handed manner. In the first one they at least stuck to something mundane.

Now they delve into topics like rape, incest, and hard-core racism with the same idiotic fumbling. They make a statement about stereotypes but seem to treat women like nothing more than penis receptacles. The larger point I was trying to make was that for some reason certain movies get a pass on this site and others don't even though to me they are on the same level. I mean, how is 27 dresses more repulsive than this movie. I call bullshit. Is it because this is an indie cult classic or something?

Posted by: LittleDead at April 28, 2008 7:17 PM

Dear Bethy and PissBoy:

Forty-Third.

Pthbbbbbbt.

Posted by: Jerce at April 28, 2008 7:32 PM

Quick question about the Murder Tank: why does someone need to be sober to drive it?

Because, like The Highlander, there can be only one Murder Tank. And if somebody drives it off a cliff, we have Murder Tank extinction.

Sure, it could probably be rebuilt. But sequels always tend to be lamer than the original.

Posted by: Wednesday at April 28, 2008 7:48 PM

Correction Victoria, you cannot be a a pompous elitist in training until you can see how obnoxious and tired First is.

And as for the movie? Yes it was inane but I liked it anyhow... Cho is a sexy bitch!

Posted by: clarity at April 28, 2008 8:17 PM

Damn, I was hoping that the one size was "Awesome."

Posted by: LB at April 28, 2008 8:18 PM

The larger point I was trying to make was that for some reason certain movies get a pass on this site and others don't even though to me they are on the same level.

LittleDead, that is the funny thing about people. What works in one context doesn't quite go over in another. Not that your view was wrong, in fact it is quite sound. But taking into account that there is some affection for the previous H&K film (while there is very little for any of the 'Movie' series), you can see why there wouldn't be much venom in the review.

I don't think it is a case of a free pass. It is more disappointment that they felt like they had to be so crude in the sequel, when the first one worked well without it.

Posted by: Vermillion at April 28, 2008 10:17 PM

Vermillion, I hate to quibble with a pajiba such as yourself but did you really just say that the first one wasn't so crude?
We watched White Castle right before we headed out to see Guantanamo and yeah it's crude...very crude? Have you forgotten about the rabid bat, the oozing pus on Freakshow, or (dear god!) the battle shits? By mutual agreement all 6 of us agreed to fast forward the last scene...it is that gross!
Crude? H&K got a lock down on that...but somehow they're still loved. Stoner movie love is strong, a force to be feared in fact!

Posted by: clarity at April 28, 2008 10:43 PM

Who doesn't pump their own gas anyway? Fuck pompous elitists. Victoria, you say "first" all you fucking want. If it wasn't for pompous elitists, I wouldn't be able to enjoy my delicious coffee in the morning. Keep working on that grad paper, cocksmokers!

Posted by: ShitLad at April 29, 2008 12:20 AM

Actually, Oregonians aren't allowed to pump their own gas. They don't have sales tax either. But the government likes to come around and collect money that you didn't pay on sales tax so it's not a complete win.

Great place to shop if you're visiting though! You can make a killing at Fry's.

Thanks for the "Slow and Low" quote, Bedhead.

Posted by: Jay at April 29, 2008 2:32 AM

Don't knock White Castle's. They were the very first fast food burger. They started in 1920, and they're still on their first cow. No, they're not like Krystal's. Krystal's are whopper sized in comparison. White Castle's are so thin that they are only cooked on one side. And to make them with even less meat, they have 5 holes punched in the patty, so they look like the 5 on the side of a die. They are steamed not fried, with the bun on top of them, for that extra sweaty sensation when you eat them. It's sort of like there's a sweaty 300 lb man in the back of the restaurant kitchen wearing a wife beater (lowcut tank top)and squishing them flat under his armpits before they hit the steam table. My favorite bit was the slogan on the side of the bag -- "The taste some people can't live without."

Posted by: BWeaves at April 29, 2008 9:15 AM

I realize this is the day after and few are likely to read my comment, but I feel the need to be a little bitchy.

The whole first arguement? Yeah, it's annoying, I'll give you that, but if you're going to MurderTank someone just for saying first, I'd love to know what you guys will come up with for someone who can't seem to find the "shift" button or any of the punctuation keys on the keyboard. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm not pompous elitist enough, but I'd rather see "first" at the top of every damn comment section than read through someone's comment who is too fucking lazy to use capital letters, punctuation, and complete sentences.

Posted by: Lucy at April 29, 2008 9:17 AM

First' people are usually the same people who think 'tooken' is a word. 'First' people tend to think the cat-taking-a-shit in Date Movie was the funniest thing this side of takin' it in the nuts, which is AWESOMELY funny to them...
Or, alternatively, "first" people are five years old. My kid is going through a thing at the moment where she has to announce that she is the first one to finish a meal, to reach the door, to have her shoes on. Now that I think about it, she DOES think "tooken" is a word.

Posted by: AdaHaze at April 29, 2008 9:54 AM

My name is Kristin. And I'm Jewish. And I live in New England. So I am a soggy, vapid, bad Jew. But at least I don't say first!!! Pace!

Posted by: KHA at April 29, 2008 10:24 AM

I hate firsties as much as anything, but all my goodwill for Pissboy withered when I saw him reference that stupid Godtopus thing and misspell "laid."
So actually, Victoria, that ought to show you how very dumb firsties are. Even the eigth-graders are calling you on that shit.

Posted by: Kate at April 29, 2008 10:25 AM

Hey, how come no one mentioned that Meloni/Freakshow is now the KKK guy? No throbbing boils, just the sloppiest looking stache. This movie wasn't super funny, but all of the young punks in the theatre were laughing their balls off anyway.

Posted by: grinder at April 29, 2008 10:48 AM

Victoria--I thought your "first?" was kind of cute; it was the question mark that made me smirk. But then, I'm a kind soul (i.e. wuss). Even if I wanted to be an elitist-in-training, I'd be boisterously rejected. Heck, I'd throw in a cheesy smiley face at the end of this post just to really set the "elitists" off, but I think there might be exploding heads (plus I fear for my life). Back to lurking now.

Posted by: Kirby at April 29, 2008 11:45 AM

I thought Kal Penn was frigging terrible in "The Namesake"

Posted by: samantha t at April 29, 2008 11:49 AM





Video ads popping up after each page view? Try clearing your browser's cookies.