blogspot visitor
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

michael_chiklis7.jpg

Fantastic? Hahahahaha hahaha

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer / Phillip Stephens

Film Reviews | June 15, 2007 | Comments (69)

The Fantastic Four franchise seems oddly at ease with its own mediocrity. Since the comic-book-to-movie influx, the trend has either been to treat the material with gravest sincerity or try to amp the camp to invoke the pulpy irreverence displayed by the comics in the first place. These films, with regards to superhero comics in particular, still seem to succeed or fail based on the writing and the director’s ability to mold it. The irreverence school has the tougher task: no matter how impressive computer-imagery can be, it’s just difficult to translate a graphic medium into live-action, especially when that action has to showcase the absurdities of something like Fantastic Four. It isn’t impossible — Raimi and Del Toro have proven that — but it’s a fine line that has to be straddled: Treat elastic, flaming, orange rock-covered or invisible people with a modicum of respect, or wink at the audience? Neither choice seems plausible.

But nobody involved with Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer seems to mind: not director Tim Story (who directed Taxi for fuck’s sake), not the writers (Don Payne and Mark Frost, who are responsible for My Super Ex-Girlfriend and The Greatest Game Ever Played between them), and certainly none of the actors. They recognize that their material is farcical, but they can’t even be bothered to salvage it as mindless entertainment. The whole ridiculous scenario is presented to the audience without the fun that should’ve been inherent; it’s a dull, diffident exercise that almost seems to aim for comedy in light of its total failure as action-adventure. But the comedy sucks, too.

Picking up where our last unfortunate journey left off, the foursome of Mr. Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd), Human Torch (Chris Evans), Invisible Girl (Jessica Alba, who here looks like an irradiated mannequin), and Thing (Michael Chiklis) are going through the super-heroic motions, with Fantastic and I.G. trying desperately to follow through with their wedding plans amid a media circus. Then an intergalactic surfer has the gall to show up and herald the apocalypse.

Beyond these schematics, the plot has almost nothing to offer beyond rote character conflict. Fantastic and Invisible Girl bicker and wonder if they should quit the team; Torch is conflicted about being an irresponsible douche with no girlfriend; Thing is…fine, actually. But he does nothing save stand around and grunt. The story is almost indescribably dull (even enervating), which is no small feat when it contains superheroes, the return of arch-asshat Dr. Doom (Julian McMahon), and a planet-eating cloud. It’s all preposterous in the worst possible way; worse yet, everyone is in on the joke and still unable to save it.

I’m at a loss for how cast or crew could possess such a pitiable dearth of either talent or interest in making a film, even a silly one, but this Fantastic Four sequel possesses such a palpable, ubiquitous ineptitude that even the most self-deceiving AICN geek will be indifferent.

Phillip Stephens is the lead critic for Pajiba. He lives in Fayetteville, AR.


← Nancy Drew | Come Sail Away →





Comments

It was better than Elektra.

Posted by: boredatwork at June 15, 2007 4:25 PM

I had to look up enervating, and now I'm glad I learned a new word. See, I learned something from your (painful?) experience, Philip! Thanks!

Posted by: Kolby at June 15, 2007 4:26 PM

But was it better than Ghost Rider?

Posted by: Jerce at June 15, 2007 4:29 PM

arch-asshat

Sounds painful. Also, ha!

Posted by: Nika at June 15, 2007 4:36 PM

I think the most disheartening thing about this franchise is watching Michael Chiklis, who, believe it or not, is actually a very talented actor, wasting said talent on such mediocrity.

Posted by: Matt B at June 15, 2007 5:24 PM

Look, I won't even bitch about the film. Or films (I've only seen the first - sucks the iron off a manhole cover).

But why the hell did they get a tanned latina to play the epithome of the all-American girl in the first place?? The other four (including lightpole-acting adept McMahon) have their problems here and there, but Alba is not just a case of severe miscasting. It's almost offensive.

Posted by: Gargumma at June 15, 2007 5:45 PM

Gargumma - I had no problem with hot Jessica Alba playing Sue Storm with a few blonde highlights in the first movie. Those light-blue contacts make her look like a strange, scary robot, though. Ugh. Bad move on the Costume/makeup designers' parts.

Posted by: Kiku at June 15, 2007 5:50 PM

Someone's blog I read said this (I forget exactly who) but basically the only way to make a Fantastic Four movie with the same spirit of the comics and make it a worthwhile movie is basically make a live-action 60's super-hero movie. Like Down With Love but with the Fantastic Four.

Posted by: Chris Woodward at June 15, 2007 5:50 PM

Oh Jerce, I hope it's better than Ghost Rider. If not, the day that my dad makes me watch it with him will be a day of ultimate suffering. Yeesh.

Posted by: Kate K. at June 15, 2007 5:55 PM

Everything that Phillip said was true but this is the one time (per year) I don't mind putting aside my morals.

Posted by: Candy at June 15, 2007 6:32 PM

It was Jackson Publick (creator of Venture Brothers) that said that the only way a FF movie would work is if it were a 1960's atomic age comedy. I wish he would have made it...

Hey! But on the plus side Edgar Wright is making Ant-Man! Huzzah!

Posted by: Tanner at June 15, 2007 6:47 PM

My wife and I went to see it this afternoon, and I'm floored by your review. Just floored. We enjoyed the heck out of it, but then we knew what we were going to see. Give us a little credit out here, eh?

Posted by: Terry Heaton at June 15, 2007 7:06 PM

Plain and simple, Terry..you and your wife are retards. I'm surprised no one's noticed this yet and tried to throw a telethon for you.

Posted by: Jasper at June 15, 2007 7:14 PM

Hold the fuck on, Galactus is a CLOUD!?

Posted by: Tim at June 15, 2007 7:23 PM

this is the kind of movie I would only go an see if there were enough retards in the theatre for me to piss off by laughing at all the bits which were supposed to be clever/touching/not funny. It's times like this I'm glad my brother is perfectly content to watch movies on his own and so won't drag me along.

Posted by: rach at June 15, 2007 8:08 PM

"Hold the fuck on, Galactus is a CLOUD!?"


I've doubletriple checked all the early sources I could and apparently....YES....the rumors were true. Galactus is a just a nebulous.....presence. Apparently there is some rationalizing that "hey, it's written somewhere that Galactus can take many forms!". That may be true, but it's rationalizing.

It doesn't deeply offend me, I don't have the comics pedigree to get too haughty, but I do know what Galactus looks like and I enjoy it, and it's not here. It looked really stupid when Story was saying they were struggling on what he should look like, but from another angle I understand it. A fair amount of people would find him completely ridiculous, the people that actually get a movie's grosses up. The solution is, as Jackson said, do it period, where giant Kirby dude would fit right in. Life had such damn good art direction in those days. I'd love it. But, since it's a superhero story, it'd still be expensive, so it'd be a big budget quasi-art movie. Risky as hell. And that's a DAMN shame. Mind you, people *might* go for it, and I'd go watch it three times, but I don't know if anyone would pony up the budget. "The Incredibles" might be the closest we'll get.

YES goddammit I'm still going to see this. I wanna see the Doug Jones goodies and watch him and Torch fly around. But I'll only go to AMC's five dollar morning matinee. Goddammit. Why'd they have to work the McMahon Doom back into it?


p.s. "Ghost Rider" was way too wacky for me to dislike. Tiny Elvis and The Stranger, together at last? Plus the One True Eva. Too bad he couldn't have just fought Peter Fonda.

Posted by: Jay at June 15, 2007 8:11 PM

"at ease with its own mediocrity" = Awesome-O! More scathing + bitchy for our weekend reading pleasure. But geez -- too short, I needed more scathing and more bitchy, sort of plus-sized scathing and bitchy. One more paragraph of snark would have been just right.

Jessica Alba is perfectly cast, not because she remotely resembles the comic character, but because she and her career and her acting skills epitomize the fundamental complaint of the review: pointless and vapid and utterly unconcerned with the extent of their own pointlessness and vapidity. She seems like a nice person, and she's pretty to look at. And I'm sure there's some actor somewhere not getting cast in things who is just as good-looking and fifty times more talented. Bwuh.

(I.e., she would be perfect to play Pacey's love interest in the Fletch prequel for all the aforestated reasons.)

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 15, 2007 8:23 PM

Jay: hee hee hee . . . "Look at that lamp ... that thing is huuuuge." "You got that right, Tiny E." "You're the man, Tiny E."

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 15, 2007 8:27 PM

I actually enjoyed the first movie. It wasn't exactly high-brow, but it was entertaining enough for an evening at home. Besides,I find Gruffudd, Evans, and McMahon hot. So sue me.

Of course, I was also entertained by Battlefield Earth. It was funny. You want a bad movie, go watch Shark Attack 2. Or that karate movie a chunk of years back. Kung Pow? Now that's a dumb movie.

Posted by: 'Cuno at June 15, 2007 9:28 PM

It's hardly a shocking revelation, but the product placement in this flick sat down on my head and lightly bounced up and down. A Dodge Fantasticar? A cut to the Thing for a reaction shot to mainly show us he was drinking a refreshing Coke? Sigh.

I didn't think it was so bad, though. Most of the 'bad' came from sticking with the first movie, so whatcha gonna do?

Posted by: Matt P. at June 15, 2007 9:41 PM

"But why the hell did they get a tanned latina to play the epithome of the all-American girl in the first place?? The other four (including lightpole-acting adept McMahon) have their problems here and there, but Alba is not just a case of severe miscasting. It's almost offensive."

Thank you. I thought I was the only person who noticed that. (Though the choice of the phrase "All-American Girl" is kinda dodgy in this scenario; I'd prefer "All-Aryan Girl".) This isn't like putting pointed ears on Cate Blanchett (which was brilliant and, I'll be honest, pretty sexy). This is casting someone to play a completely different ethnic or racial background whatsoever. The only thing worse is casting for a person where their background is an integral part of the character--like, having a white guy play Malcolm X.

Posted by: Shadowen at June 15, 2007 10:08 PM

Don Payne and Mark Frost, who are responsible for My Super Ex-Girlfriend and The Greatest Game Ever Played between them

Worse yet, Mark Frost is the guy who co-created Twin Peaks, and now he's churning out this crap.

Posted by: Muggs at June 16, 2007 12:22 AM

The casting of Jessica Alba is definitely fishy - and I mean that almost literally, because she looks oddly piscine in this movie. (Fun fact: IMDb says that Rachel McAdams was originally considered, but she was either too smart or too lucky and didn't get it.) I'm a strong believer in meritocracy, but I'm still glad Jessica Alba is successful - she's not talented, but she's not a (I'll borrow a word from Mr. Rowles) starletard, either.

Posted by: Geetch at June 16, 2007 1:38 AM

lol I didn't know you lived in fayetteville, Phillip! *waves from Rogers*

Posted by: bettie bloodshed at June 16, 2007 4:52 AM

How can you people sit an casually chat about movies when Vince McMahon's killer is still on the loose?!

Posted by: Steve B. at June 16, 2007 7:12 AM

Okay, this is going to appear extremely fangirlish and nerdy when I write this, so I am doing a pre-emptive apology. But, I cannot get over the fact that Galactus is a goddamn cloud!? Galactus is a fierce man who eats planets for breakfast, and these people turned him into a Star Trek cloud beast. Good Lord...the thing about these movies is that you have to run with the crazy that is inherent in the lore of whatever superhero you are doing a movie on. If people can buy the fact that NOT A GODDAMN person put Clark Kent and Superman as the exact same person when only a pair of horn-rimmed glasses and hair gel separated the two, then I think people would buy Galactus as a flesh being.

Posted by: Gigi Worthington at June 16, 2007 3:04 PM

My 6 year-old loved it. As a non-comic book geek, I thought it was fair to middling, definitely better than the first (which isn't saying much of course). Jessica Alba freaked me out with her contacts and six inch eyelashes. For being such a supposed hottie, she is an incredibly life-force sucking presence.

Posted by: mike at June 16, 2007 6:41 PM

The movie itself was a giant steaming pile, but I thought Doug Jones did a good job as the Silver Surfer. He was also the Pan/Pale Man in Pan's Labyrinth, Abe Sapien in Hellboy, and Billy Butcherson in Hocus Pocus.

Posted by: Liz at June 16, 2007 7:39 PM

gaaah, i'm at such ends with myself.
on one side i really really want to see that awesome chase scene between the silver surfer and the human torch (or whatever the hell his name is)...on the OTHER side, i firmly boycott any movies that star the following: jessica alba, jessica simpson, beyonce, drew barrymore and last but most certainly never least, the craptacular kirsten dunst.

i can't decide what to do. morals or cgi? gaaaaaah.

Posted by: citizen_cris at June 16, 2007 10:20 PM

side note: looking at the photos of of the fantastic 4: rise of the silver surfer on imdb creeped me the HELL out. jessica alba looks incredibly fake. god, the overly blonde hair, the huge lashes, the air brushed face, the fake fake tan...it makes me want to stop wearing makeup, let my hair air dry and run barefoot through the grass if only to see something fresh and natural. she looks incredibly stale and dolled up...which is actually sad, because she's naturally very pretty.

Posted by: cris at June 16, 2007 10:31 PM

Best line in the whole movie:
"I wouldn't want to wake up a find she died in a rockslide."

Otherwise, the rest of the movie was crap.

Posted by: ciji at June 16, 2007 11:59 PM

Speaking as a Latina, it absolutely DOES NOT bother me that Jessica Alba was cast as a white chick with blue eyes and blonde hair. There are probably six different girls in my neighborhood, Hispanic girls, with blonde hair or blonde highlights and blue contact lenses. I seriously couldn't care less if Alba takes a role as a white chick.

No, what bothers me is the thought that this movie might be worse than Ghost Rider. Seriously, Nick Cage was ASLEEP through that whole movie, and if FF is worse than that? I think we might just have ourselves a REAL apocalypse to deal with, one that is centered directly over Hollywood.

Posted by: A Marine's Wife at June 17, 2007 12:27 AM

For those complaining about Galactus being a cloud, it's from Ultimate Galactus, and Galactus himself is not actually a man, his human-big-hat form is only how humans perceive him. Plus they did an homage to that Galactus when he went past Saturn. And the movie is awesome and totally worth 9 bucks.

Posted by: chibawafu at June 17, 2007 3:17 AM

When the trailer is better than the movie, what does it says about the movie?
That is how Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer turns out to be.
I'm going to be wicked.
The filmmakers should rename the sequel to 2005's Fantastic Four to Plastic Flaw: Fall of the Silver Surfer.

Get the rest of my review here:
http://andydreamseeker.blogspot.com/2007/06/movie-review-fantastic-four-rise-of.html

Posted by: andydreamseeker at June 17, 2007 4:54 AM

When the trailer is better than the movie, what does it says about the movie?
That is how Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer turns out to be.
I'm going to be wicked.
The filmmakers should rename the sequel to 2005's Fantastic Four to Plastic Flaw: Fall of the Silver Surfer.

Get the rest of my review here:
http://andydreamseeker.blogspot.com/2007/06/movie-review-fantastic-four-rise-of.html

Posted by: andydreamseeker at June 17, 2007 4:54 AM

I went to this movie tonight and I swear to god it's worse than the review. It's like they weren't even trying, there's 0 chemistry between the leading man and leading lady, there's not much in the way of tension, there aren't any plot twists, the dialog is wretched, the product placement gross, the jokes unfunny. I'm definitely able to turn off my brain at the movie and enjoy a mindless action flick, but there was no saving this movie.

At one point the US military transports a prisoner to Siberia for questioning, I thought to myself "Why the fuck would they do that." Then I realized it just didn't matter and let it go, but it's just an example of the sloppy way this movie was written. Nobody thought about ANY of the inconsistencies (and there are tons of them, you don't exactly have to be eagle-eyed to notice). You'll have to shoot me up with an armful of dope and drag me to the theater unconscious before you find me at a Fantastic 4 movie again (and I pray the American public saves us from a sequel).

Thanks for letting me vent

Posted by: unfortunate at June 17, 2007 6:52 AM

Big giant steaming pile of Meh from me. Fantastic Four is the only superhero movie of the last decade that I've refused to watch. And I'm damned glad of it, once I've seen something I feel utterly compelled to watch the sequels and I fear that this one would have just about finished me off.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at June 17, 2007 7:51 AM

Normally I'd avoid this like the plague, but I just want to stare at Chris Evans. And Ioan Gruffudd. But mostly Chris "holy fucking abs, Batman!" Evans.

Posted by: and yet at June 17, 2007 2:03 PM

I'll take a giant hat over a spooky cloud any day. SO SPEAKS GALACTUS!

Posted by: Lucas at June 17, 2007 3:35 PM

friends and i saw this drunk last night and it was goddamn hilarious.

but yeah, really shitty.

Posted by: mike at June 17, 2007 5:48 PM

Now if I am not mistake, There is Galactus, the giant,purple armor wearing guy, and then there is Ga-Lac-Tus, a cloud of robots that destroys worlds. Both appeared in marvel comics, if I am not mistaken, so technically they chose the more conceivable of the two and went with the giant cloud. I woudl ike to have seen them use the big guy, but in the realm of comic movies it just is not practical.

And "Or that karate movie a chunk of years back. Kung Pow? Now that's a dumb movie." is a horrible statement to make. That movie is frickin awesome to watch with a group of friends and some beer or buddha.

Posted by: Some Guy at June 17, 2007 7:31 PM

Why would you automatically avoid a movie with Kirsten Dunst in it? She's a pretty good actress and at least she doesn't look like a barbie - she seems quite cool. What about eternal sunshine, virgin suicides or marie antoinette? Even little women was ok... I get Jessicas Simpson or Alba and Drew, but why the hate for Kirsten?

Posted by: L2 at June 17, 2007 8:16 PM

L2, i have to correct myself...i usually try to avoid movies, that as well as having la dunst in them, also look bad...like spiderman.
but yes, i'll admit...i do bend the rules when she's in a movie like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, which is a great movie regardless of her presence in it (or lack of).

i have to disagree with you about dunst being a good actress though. she's someone who only APPEARS in good movies...she, herself, never makes them good. marie antoinette, the virgin suicides and most CERTAINLY eternal sunshine of the spotless mind aren't good movies because of her. the directors, the supporting cast and the scripts make the movie and manage to make her watchable.

out of all the actresses i listed she's probably the one i can stand watching the most. but seriously, she sucks.

Posted by: citizen_cris at June 17, 2007 10:29 PM

I know, this is responding a little too late, but...[stern teacher voice] Jasper, play nice! You may not agree with Terry (which is totally understandable), but name-calling is unacceptable.

The first movie was--except for Gruffudd, Evans, and McMahon--a big pile of meh. There is no way I'll be seeing this one. And I'm still not convinced that Jessica Alba is as talented as she is pretty.

Posted by: bonnie at June 17, 2007 11:23 PM

And I just realized that I borrowed the phrase "pile of meh" from Alex the Odd. Sorry.

Posted by: bonnie at June 17, 2007 11:24 PM

I think I must have missed something from the first movie. How did Alba end up looking like this? I don't remember her looking this fake before...

Posted by: phoenixfire24 at June 18, 2007 12:14 AM

While we're on the subject of ethnically stupid miscasting,how about Michael Clarke Duncan as the Kingpin?Or Jennifer Garner as Electra?(she's supposed to be Greek after all)

Posted by: harold lawson at June 18, 2007 3:16 AM

While we're on the subject of ethnically stupid miscasting,how about Michael Clarke Duncan as the Kingpin?Or Jennifer Garner as Electra?(she's supposed to be Greek after all)

Posted by: harold lawson at June 18, 2007 3:16 AM

And I just realized that I borrowed the phrase "pile of meh" from Alex the Odd. Sorry.

No need to worry, I've always wanted proof that someone actually reads my comments ;)

Hang on a minute - Marie Antoinette was a decent movie? Did I miss something?

Posted by: Alex the Odd at June 18, 2007 4:21 AM

Actually, I really liked it. I thought it was better than the first one. I was a little disturbed by the color of Jessica Alba in the beginning, but either it got better or I got used to it. Feel free to call me names, but I thought it was fun and I was quite entertained. And, it was SOOOO much better than Ghost Rider.

Posted by: Smello at June 18, 2007 9:37 AM

The movie was enjoyable and was actually overall better than that over hyped SpiderMan catastrophe.

Posted by: STRIKE at June 18, 2007 11:03 AM

I'd agree that Hollywood has a casting problem. From Jessica Alba as White-Girl/Cheerleader-Next-Door Sue Storm to Billy Dee Williams (whoops! back to Tommy Lee Jones) as Harvey Dent in the Batman movie to the aformentioned Duncan as Giant White Guy Kingpin, Hollywood seems to have a penchant for not getting that right.

Then again, it's obvious these people never read the comics they're trying to make a movie out of, just look at the scripts...

Posted by: Speedracer X at June 18, 2007 2:54 PM

I think some people expect to much from a super hero movie. FF:Rise of the Silver Surfer was pretty much what I was expecting, and I enjoyed it. I grew up reading the FF and I thought they did a pretty good job capturing the feelings from the comics.(at least the John Byrne stories which were my favorite) I did think(much like the first movie) the ending was a little underwhelming. I also have to agree that Jessica Alba looked sort of strange. There was way too much eye make up. I think it was better than the first movie, and I enjoyed the first movie. The FF is not the X-men, they are inherently a corny cheesy super group. And so the movie was corny and cheesy(so was X-men:Last Stand though, which should not have been) I thought The Silver Surfer was awesome(would have liked a flashback of him on his homeworld) The Relationship between Johnny and The Thing was perfect. If they go for a third movie(which they will cause it made a shitload of money already) they should really go all out and have The FF travel to the negative dimension and battle Blastarr or Anhilliuss(apologies on spelling for both those)And yeah they still haven't done Doom right so they should just leave him out of it. All in all I liked The Rise of The Silver Surfer.I didn't think it was better than Ghost Rider, but I really liked Ghost Rider(Man, look at that radio knob. That is huge) But I guess I know nothing, as I am the only one that thought Batman Begins was the worst Batman movie ever made.(and Yes I am including Batman and Robin as well The Batman seriels from the forties) Seriously The Scarcrow is my favorite batman villian and they messed him up way worse than Doom in the FF. Still hopefully everyone can agree that The Captain America movie from the nineties is way worse than any thing that has come out recently. The Hulk opera comes close.

Posted by: mikeorgo at June 18, 2007 3:38 PM

For all she's not good at, Jessica Alba is at least good at swinging a lasso in chaps (in slow motion.) I guess she doesn't do that in this movie?

Posted by: steve at June 18, 2007 4:14 PM

I know it's not saying much but this sequel is ten times better than the first in this series. As a true Comic Head the movie does adequate justice to the original story. I was a little dissapointed that we didn't actually see Galactus but to those not familiar with the character he would have looked absurd. I mean he looks absurd! A diesel giant with an enormous purple hat!? I wish that they didn't make the Surfer a helpless wimp without his board. His board was mainly an aid in intergalactic travel but the Power Cosmos (bestowed by Galactus)was within the Surfer himself. I guess the movie needed him to be vulnerable. The acting was not great but niether was the dialogue. It it is no more necessary here than in the show Heroes. All in all a marked improvement and giant step toward a worthwhile franchise.

Posted by: L. Harris at June 18, 2007 8:43 PM

I've read comics for like 25 years. FF2 was a great adaption of the comic. They took from the long comic book history and made a fun & exciting movie. I like to say it was geektastic. I'm not sure what people were expecting but I think it accomplished what it needed to.

Posted by: Mark at June 19, 2007 12:58 AM

did anyone eles feel like they wraped it up like a 30 min. tv special.

Posted by: austin at June 19, 2007 3:09 AM

did anyone eles feel like they wraped it up like a 30 min. tv special.

Posted by: austin at June 19, 2007 3:10 AM

argh! i don't know if it's these new orange ads or what, but something is making the page jump down to them every few seconds and then i have to scroll back up and find my place again and it's driving me insane. just fyi.

Posted by: paraselene at June 19, 2007 8:34 AM

argh! i don't know if it's these new orange ads or what, but something is making the page jump down to them every few seconds and then i have to scroll back up and find my place again and it's driving me insane. just fyi.

me too, adblock on firefox doesn't recognise it is an ad, so can't block it ;(

I do apologize -- the ad seems to be only popping up in the UK. I'm trying to block it, but so far, have had little success. I'll keep trying. -- DR

Posted by: conexus at June 19, 2007 1:08 PM

Wow, in what possible universe was this movie "pretty doggone good" ???
It was an amazingly bad movie, it utterly stunk from it's horrible script to it's unbelievably pathetic ending.
And let's cover another couple points: Let's see, the American military employs people to torture captives (apparently they take it somewhat easier if the captives are human).
And then we have the grand finale of bad messages "Kids, it's okay to be a suicide bomber if you feel the evil is great enough." Kinda funny how the silver surfer is heroic for blowing himself to smithereens to take out the big bad evil, yet we say that humans that do the exact same thing (blow up one's self to remove what one considers a great evil) are "terrorists"...
But, in all seriousness, would Galactus have given a slave creature the power to do what the surfer did ?? I kinda doubt it.
Another B movie, another waste of 1.5 hours (what happened to 2 hour movies ???), perfect fodder for today's sadly stupid kids, and adults.

Posted by: Tony the Tiger at June 19, 2007 9:15 PM

But... Jessica Alba is white. Of mainly Spanish, French and Danish ancestry, I think. With some American Indian? Hardly of a 'completely different ethnic or racial background'.

Posted by: squiggle at June 22, 2007 6:20 PM

"The only thing worse is casting for a person where their background is an integral part of the character--like, having a white guy play Malcolm X."

That has got to be the dumbest comment i have ever seen! How can you compared the two! one is real life whereas the other is a fictional comic the movie is only BASED on the comic which means they can do what the hell they like in terms of casting whether it works or not!
Alba playing the part is fine people that seem to have a problem with it should check themselves as their comments just come across as very PREJUDICE!
Sorry but that comment is so dumb, fictional comic, compared to a someone who actually existed! LMFAO

Posted by: Catherine at June 23, 2007 11:09 AM

This afternoon we went to see FF: ROTSS. Later in the day we watched "Paycheck", with Ben Affleck and Uma Thurman, on television, with commercials every fifteen minutes, and that sucked like a Hoover, but it still didn't suck as badly as FF, which was unfunny, tedious, predictably, badly written, and indifferently acted.

I would like to say, not being a comic-book geek, that the Galactus in the movie was actually scary in a smoky Cthulhu kind of way, whereas a giant guy in a purple kilt and a winged hat would just have been hilarious, and not in the good sense, either.

The only reason to see the new FF is for the eye candy; Jessica Alba, if the ladies are your thing, or Chris Evans and Ioan Gruffudd, if the gents are.

Posted by: pyramus at June 24, 2007 9:40 PM

This afternoon we went to see FF: ROTSS. Later in the day we watched "Paycheck", with Ben Affleck and Uma Thurman, on television, with commercials every fifteen minutes, and that sucked like a Hoover, but it still didn't suck as badly as FF, which was unfunny, tedious, predictably, badly written, and indifferently acted.

I would like to say, not being a comic-book geek, that the Galactus in the movie was actually scary in a smoky Cthulhu kind of way, whereas a giant guy in a purple kilt and a winged hat would just have been hilarious, and not in the good sense, either.

The only reason to see the new FF is for the eye candy; Jessica Alba, if the ladies are your thing, or Chris Evans and Ioan Gruffudd, if the gents are.

Posted by: pyramus at June 24, 2007 9:41 PM

Did anyone else notice the weeeeird, (hopefully) unintentional sexual chemistry between Jessica Alba's character and.. I don't know his name, the guy who's supposed to be her BROTHER in the movie?? No one? Was it just me?!??!

Posted by: monkey_b at June 25, 2007 9:08 AM

sweet fancy moses. i just went against my better judgement (and morals, i might add) and saw FF:Rise of The Silver Surfer. Hands down, worst movie i've seen all year. I've never laughed so unintentionally at a movie before. The script was corny, campy, crappy, catastrophically douche-y.

How do movies like this get made? were the editing people smoking some wicked ganja? if so...where can i get some?

Honestly though, amongst a horrible script, lame direction and mild performances jessica alba still managed to be the weakest link. she is a BAD ACTRESS people! can we just say it together??? BAD ACTRESS. i've never heard so many terribly uttered lines in a single movie before, she was devoid of conviction. And what the hell did they do to her? the makeup, the hair, the friggen coked out eyes. FREAKY.
If there's a 3rd movie made, i hope it rots in hell with daddy day care 2.

Posted by: citizen_cris at June 27, 2007 12:30 AM

arch-asshat

I'll have to use this now. Also, why don't we just FORCE Ioan to make another 8 Hornblower movies?

A girl can dream... right?

Posted by: Ellis Dee. at July 2, 2007 1:20 AM

It was an excellent movie. The Fan Four are great actors. Being a comic book fan, I was happy to see that story brought to the big screen. Wasn't too thrill about Galactus being "cloud like", but this version of the Silver Surfer will suffice. Cannot wait for Fantastic Four 3. By the way Terry H, you and your wife have GREAT TASTE in movies. Don't let the HATERS discourage you.

Posted by: Doug E at October 11, 2007 3:23 PM





Video ads popping up after each page view? Try clearing your browser's cookies.