Exclusive: Pajiba Interviews Ginnifer Goodwin and an Intoxicated Kate Hudson About their New Romantic Comedy, Something Borrowed
Pajiba: Thank you two for sitting down with me to discuss your new movie, Something Borrowed, which is out in theaters today.
Ginnifer Goodwin: It's our pleasure.
Kate Hudson: What's the name of your site again?
Pajiba: Pajiba. Pah-Jie-Bah.
Kate Hudson: That sounds like something I'd wash my asshole with, pardon my Anglais.
Goodwin: Kate. [stares Hudson down]. Can we just get through this last interview, please? After this, we're done.
Hudson: Oh, thank God! I'm so tired of talking about this shitty movie. [To her assistant]. Can you get me another drink, hon. Something with an olive in it. Make it a double. And then double that.
Goodwin: Sorry. Please continue.
Pajiba: Right. So, in the movie, Ginnifer, you play Rachel. She's a lawyer who just turned 30 and in love with her best friend's fiancé.
Goodwin: Exactly. Kate plays my best friend Darcy, who swooped in and stole the guy I had a crush on back in law school.
Pajiba: That'd be Dex, played by Colin Egglesfield?
Hudson: Oh, God! Have you seen that man's chest? I could lick the nipples off his biceps. He's got a little Tom Cruise thing going on, too. I think he might be playing for the same team, if you get my meaning. You get my meaning, don't you Pajeeba [winks]?
Pajiba: It's Pajiba. A long eye sound.
Hudson: Sure, whatever.
Goodwin: Yes, so at the surprise party for my 30th birthday, I have a little too much to drink and confess to Dex that I had a crush on him during law school ....
Hudson: ... Seriously, I would sit on that man's face and crush him like cinderblocks. I don't care what team he plays for ....
Goodwin: ... Kate. Please. Five more minutes, OK? ... Anyway, right. So, it turns out that Dex had a crush on my character, too. And we end up sleeping together that night, which creates quite a predicament for these characters.
Pajiba: Kate, you play Darcy, the bossy and obnoxious free-spirit who always gets her way.
Hudson: Right. I play the pretty one.
Pajiba: OK. So your character doesn't know that her best friend is sleeping with your character's soon-to-be husband?
Hudson: No. Sure. I guess. Whatever ... (turns to assistant) Hey, where's my drink already? This whistle won't wet itself.
Goodwin: Yes, we try and keep it secret until we can figure out our feelings for each other and break it to Darcy.
Hudson: You mean, you fuck like Mike and Carol behind my back?
Goodwin: Something like that.
Pajiba: There's a novelty 90's cover band in this movie. Isn't it a little soon for 90's cover bands?
Goodwin: I don't get what you mean.
Pajiba: You know. I mean, are we already feeling nostalgic for Third Eye Blind and Counting Crows?
Goodwin: Ummm. I don't know. I liked Third Eye Blind.
Pajiba [quickly switching gears]: So, how does John Krasinski play into this movie?
Hudson: Guh. That guy. He was such a total dick to me the entire six-week shoot. He was always acting like he was better than everyone else, carrying around books on set. Like anyone is Los Angeles reads. Total douche. Where does he get off? How many Oscar nominations does he have, anyway?
Goodwin: Kate! Don't listen to her. John is a really sweet guy. Totally down to Earth and a pleasure to work with.
Hudson: Were you hitting that?
Goodwin: No! I'm engaged.
Hudson: So? I'd hit it.
Goodwin: Anyway. John plays Ethan, who is like my best guy friend. He's really supportive of my character, and there's some question about whether he's in love with her. He's really amazing in the role.
Hudson: [Interrupting] Right. Have you seen him on "The Office"?
Hudson: Then you've seen him here. Same guy. Jim Halpert. Just rolls his eyes and makes snide comments, only he wears tighter jeans in Something Borrowed.
Goodwin: That's not true!
Hudson: It is.
Goodwin: What about in the end?
Hudson: Oh, right. The part where he yells a lot. That's not acting, Ginnifer. That's just raising your voice. That's not to say I wouldn't fuck the guy. Can you put a paper bag over smugness? Because I'd give that guy a reason to roll his eyes.
Goodwin [stomping]: Seriously, Kate. Cut it out.
Hudson: Oh, shut up Ginnifer. Don't be such a twat.
Pajiba: [uncomfortable] So, Ginnifer. Something Borrowed is based on the best selling novel by Emily Giffin. How faithful is the movie to the source material?
Hudson: [cutting off Goodwin] The movie gets the last 20 pages or so right. Or so I'm told. I haven't actually read the book because I'm not a douche like John Krasinski. I saw the movie earlier this week, and I actually thought the final scenes were decent. But the rest of it ... complete shit.
Ginnifer: Stop it.
Hudson: What? It is. Let me ask you, Pajeeba. Do you like douchey music? Like John Mayer?
Pajiba: Not particularly.
Hudson: What about Jack Johnson?
Hudson: Then I can guarantee with a 98 percent accuracy that you will hate this film. Are you gay?
Hudson: 100 percent.
Goodwin: Seriously, Kate. Cut it out.
Hudson: What? He writes for a site called Bajeena. What is that? Spanish? Who's going to read it?
Pajiba: She's got a point.
Hudson: See? Even Punjaba agree. I like you, Punjaba. You seem like good people. Can I be on the level?
Hudson: This movie is total garbage. And I say that as someone who starred in Bride Wars. Listen, I've had a few drinks, so I'm going to let you in on a little secret. You know what's wrong with movies like this? Speaking as an expert, because, you know, I've been making these goddamn movies for the last decade. This is the problem: We all have to act like retards. Nobody's as dumb as the people in romantic comedies. Honestly. If they'd just make one right decision or one phone call or share their feelings just once, the problems in these movies could be solved. But no. Entire plots revolve around our stupidity. We act like ditzy little shits for an hour and a half so some guy in an Izod shirt with no imagination has somewhere to take his date so he doesn't have to talk to her the hour and a half before he tries to finger-bang her. That's the truth. And you can print that.
Goodwin: Please don't.
Hudson: Why? What will it matter? You think some asshole with a blog is going to stop dudes from trying to get laid this weekend? Where else are they going to take their dates? Thor? Right. You think a guy wants to try and measure up with that guy? He has a hammer. Do you honestly think these pink-shirt frat douches want to take their date home and show them their drunk Viennas after that? I don't think so.
Pajiba: So, you're saying people shouldn't go see Something Borrowed?
Hudson: No. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying, I don't care. I've already been paid. See it, don't see it. I don't care. If you want to waste your dime watching stupid characters do idiotic things while Jim Halpert mugs it up for the camera, more power to you. It's not the way I'd personally choose ...
Goodwin [standing up, removing her microphone]: Kate, I think our time is up. It's time to go.
Pajiba: Yes. I appreciate you taking the time to ...
Goodwin: Our pleasure.
Hudson Whatever. [stumbles out]