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City of Ember / Agent Bedhead

Film Reviews | October 14, 2008 | Comments (36)


If you build it, but you don’t actually do anything with it, nobody will want to come. Ever. That’s the lesson offered up by the prodigious breakdown of City of Ember as a film, which was adapted from the novel by Jeanne Duprau. Of course, when one considers that this film details the breakdown of a dystopian underground city, the resultant irony adds up to a colossal clusterfuck of Brobdingnagian proportions. Director Gil Kenan (Monster House), with the help of with co-conspirator screenwriter Caroline Thompson (Edward Scissorhands, Corpse Bride), has failed to breathe life into this overly complex, dripping limp dick of a story. Throughout, the sheer dullness of this film made me long for Mr. Hand — not the Fast Times at Ridgemont High “Aloha” type of dude, but the Dark City sort of anemic Richard O’Brien character — to appear, wave a few digits, and induce sleep. In that regard, City of Ember is a bit like Dark City, but not for the positive reasons one would hope. Undeterred, Kenan also attempts to evoke some sort of PG-rated Dr. Strangelove sequel with hints of Metropolis and Brazil. Unfortunately, City of Ember itself fails to make any lasting impact, due to the ridiculous premise of a subterranean metropolis lit by many thousands of light bulbs, which are entirely run by a river-powered generator.

The film’s introductory voiceover alludes that, many years ago, after an unspecified apocalyptic event, a group of scientists and architects (referred to as “Builders”) constructed an underground city that was meant to last 200 years. At that point, a mysterious locked box would open itself and reveal instructions to reach the Earth’s surface. At some point, however, the box is misplaced and all but forgotten. Those brilliant Builders just weren’t smart enough to think of a backup plan to pass on such vital knowledge, so no one in Ember knows about the world that previously existed or even that they are underground. The Book of Ember tells citizens that, outside the city, all is darkness, and attempting to leave the city is a crime punishable by imprisonment. A cult-like religious group keeps vigil for the eventual return of the mythical Builders along with the whole “saving” nonsense. However, things are starting to go terribly wrong because the city has long-since passed the 200-year mark. Electrical blackouts are growing in frequency and duration, food supplies are nearing depletion, and the almighty generator is creaking towards its final shudders. Yet, as dull and uninspired as this dirty, crumbling, main character of a city happens to be, darkness would actually be quite welcome to any adults unfortunate enough to witness this film.

As far as a family adventure goes, the City of Ember contains virtually no action to speak of. Somehow, a messenger girl named Lina Mayfleet (Saoirse Ronan, the little girl from Atonement) finds the now-unlocked box, but the contents have been torn to pieces. Lina enlists a hunkalicious pipe worker, Doon Harrow (Harry Treadaway), to help her figure shit out. Other than attempting to open up several locked doors, Lina and Doon do a whole lot of nothing for about an hour. Then, these two plucky heroes hastily toss together the pieces of the so-called puzzle that everyone should have figured out already. In fact, it’s amazing that the “solution” to all of these so-called clues was literally right in front of the helpless adults struggling to maintain Ember. Suddenly, during the last half hour of City of Ember, the film shifts into a breakneck pace as answers randomly fall into place. Things get even worse when the CGI kicks in with a very sharp delineation against the real-action, which results in a very inconsistent and choppy film. Furthermore, nothing really justifies exposing the wee ones to a few genuinely scary moments involving inexplicably massive bugs and a mammoth-sized rodent that’s hungry for human flesh. The director and screenwriter both fail miserably at the art of storytelling as they race towards the obligatory optimistic ending. Satisfied with their own cleverness, the filmmakers merrily leave the audience with an unsettled feeling of emptiness, which is particularly disconcerting in a film filled with so much, well, crap.

You see, Gil Kenan has filled this film with overflowing sets and several overqualified actors, but he fails to present an engaging story or characters with any sort of dimension. Veteran actors fill the roles of stock characters: Doon’s father (Tim Robbins in an extended cameo) is a pessimistic inventor; Doon’s boss, Sul (Martin Landau), uses duct tape to repair pipe leaks (yeah, fuck you, MacGyver) when he’s not dozing off in a raging narcoleptic fit. As far as villains go, Lina and Doon must defeat the stupid, corrupt Mayor Cole (Bill Murray wearing a fat suit), who is aided by a leering henchman named Looper (Mackenzie Crook) and his guard (B.J. Hogg). Surprisingly, no one in Ember has ever noticed that, although everyone is always hungry, Mayor Cole is obviously engaging in food orgies on a regular basis. Ooh, intrigue.

If you don’t see a point here, you’re not alone in marveling at the sheer lack of coherence involved within City of Ember. This film’s stunning abundance of narrative structure isn’t the result of purposeful ambiguity that will eventually lead to masterful revelations. Instead, laziness and sloppy storytelling is at work here. Although Gil Kenan has created a gritty, grimy wonder of a city, the film lacks any sort of humanity, which should have been an integral part of the film’s message. As a result, it’s nearly impossible to give a shit about any of these characters, except for Lina’s little sister, Poppy (played alternately by Amy & Catherine Quinn), who is so fucking cute it makes you wanna simultaneously puke and procreate. As a final word of warning, if you masochistically must see City of Ember, absolutely do not do so after watching, say, Lost In Translation to warm up your Murray-o-meter. Even those Murray fans who go in cold will be extremely disappointed in his lackadaisical performance, which, I’m sorry to say, amounts to a lot of screen time for a role that shouldn’t have mattered that much at all. Obviously, Bill Murray is wasted in a film like this, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that Murray is visibly bored as hell and is of the perspective that, clearly, Ghostbusters III can’t get here soon enough.

Agent Bedhead (a.k.a. “Kimberly”) lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at agentbedhead.com.


JCVD Trailer | Pajiba Love 10/14/08



Comments

The film's introductory voiceover

Well, there's your problem...

Posted by: twig at October 14, 2008 10:22 AM

Is that Joe Pesci up top? You'd think they'd be set having him around. "He looks like a guy who can get things done."

Posted by: Lucas at October 14, 2008 10:26 AM

somehow i still feel as though i'm going to watch this movie but now i'm in no hurry to get it done.

Posted by: dylanj at October 14, 2008 10:27 AM

Question: Has a movie using a fat suit ever been good? Please give examples in your answers.

I'm gonna say the closest one for me is Mrs. Doubtfire.

Posted by: becks at October 14, 2008 10:34 AM

Has a movie using a fat suit ever been good?

Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder. Unless that's really what he looks like without the plastic wrap on his "waist."

Posted by: SofĂ­a at October 14, 2008 10:40 AM

Just Friends - Dustin's man-crush Ryan Reynolds wearing a fat suit and sing "I Swear."

Posted by: Jim at October 14, 2008 10:44 AM

You're all overlooking Tracy Jordan's magnum Opus-
"Honky Grandma Be Trippin'"
Cuz that honky Grandma BE TRIPPIN'!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 14, 2008 10:51 AM

So it was true, that WAS Bill Murray, WOW...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 14, 2008 10:54 AM

Rhyme

the best of Tracy Jordan's fake movies was "Samurai I am Awry?"

that still cracks me up to this day

Posted by: dylanj at October 14, 2008 10:56 AM

Just Friends is underrated. Dustin is right, Ryan Reynolds is crush worthy because he can elevate movies that probably aren't all that funny to being pretty frickin' funny. I mean, I've see Van Wilder more than once. There's no way that movie should be funny. I mean, it stars Tara Reid.

As a horrifying aside, strangers used to come up to me at school and at bars to say I looked like Tara Reid. Hey, that might be a good off topic too...Who is the most offensive person you have been told you look like?

Posted by: becks at October 14, 2008 10:59 AM

becks: Good question. I'll see your Tara Reid and raise you a Fefe Dobson.

Posted by: Courtie at October 14, 2008 11:09 AM

makes you wanna simultaneously puke and procreate.

That's how I feel about tequila...

And I'll second the fat-suit nom for Ryan Reynolds singing I Swear. That movie blows goats, but that last scene made me weep.

Posted by: MG at October 14, 2008 11:11 AM

I love that they actually include Fat Bitch into a 30 Rock storyline.
"He wants me to make Fat Bitch 2!"
"But everyone knows Fat Bitch died at the end!"

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 14, 2008 11:45 AM

that or the time they mention that Tracy filmed an entire Western movie "without leaving his car"

good stuff.

Posted by: dylanj at October 14, 2008 12:02 PM

At some point, however, the box is misplaced and all but forgotten.

How hard is it to keep track of a box? It's only two hundred years, and clearly it's sort of, you know, important.

I'd rather watch Black Cop/White Cop.

Posted by: Marra at October 14, 2008 12:10 PM

Becks Tara Reid is a mess, but at least she doesn't have hepatitis. I was once told I looked like Pamela Friggin' Anderson, and the guy actually thought he was making me a compliment! To be fair, it was during the baywatch era, he was a total mouthbreather and we were at a (Dutch version of a) county fair... (cringes at the memory)

Posted by: Pants at October 14, 2008 12:29 PM

Tropic Thunder kept up the wonderful fake movie tradition with the awesomely titled "Chitlin and the Dude"- brilliantly Starring Martin Lawrence.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 14, 2008 12:45 PM

I just recently read the first book in the City of Ember series. It's not great, but I enjoyed it enough to want to read the other books (there are currently 4 total). While the pace of the book is relatively slow (as is the movie, it seems), there are no flesh craving rats. I'm disappointed the movie sounds so terrible.

Posted by: Smello at October 14, 2008 1:00 PM

I see your Tara Reid and Pam Anderson and raise you a Fogle (aka mclovin). That shit is a little rough, though if I find a mclovin ID I am totally buying it.

Posted by: the_wakeful at October 14, 2008 1:07 PM

How hard is it to keep track of a box? It's only two hundred years, and clearly it's sort of, you know, important.

I guess they took up a sort of "dance your cares away, worries for another day" kind of philosophy.

Why they're starving, though, is another question. Can't they just eat the Doozers' buildings?

Posted by: Todd at October 14, 2008 2:08 PM

I agree with Marra; 200 years isn't really that long, how the hell could they forget so quickly? The current generation wouldn't be that far removed from the one that originally went underground. No one wrote anything down? Told stories to their grandkids? Kept any photos? Scrawled "this place is doomed on (insert date here); get your sorry asses to the surface or starve"? Yeesh.

Posted by: DeadBessie at October 14, 2008 2:15 PM

I see your Fogle and raise you an Osama bin...oh wait that was just racism due to being brown while in Virginia on my IT consulting gig at a govt. site. I blame myself.

Posted by: WhatCanBrownDoForYou? at October 14, 2008 2:19 PM

becks I am constantly told that I look like Shannon Doherty (don't care enough to look up how to properly spell her name) its horrible to be compared to so loathesome a person as her...I feel your pain

Posted by: SashaCA2 at October 14, 2008 2:23 PM

Sasha: she's annoying as hell but she's hot, so don't complain TOO much.

I think I'm going to pass on this movie. It looked somewhat interesting from the previews. I really don't understand how Bill Murray is choosing projects these days. He should have his agent flogged.

Posted by: jvon at October 14, 2008 2:58 PM

What's really unfortunate is that the book was pretty good. Granted, it's targeted at the middling readers of grades 4-7, but the story has held many of my students' interest far into the sequel (yes, there's a sequel...)

DeadBassie, Marra, The way they explain how no one passes it down or remembers what it was like before was that there was a big conspiracy where they basically matched up senior citizens and babies. The seniors took care of the babes until they were old enough to be on their own, and then shuffled off the mortal coil. I'll stick to my usual advice: skip the movie, make the kid read the book.

Posted by: TK the Other (delurking) at October 14, 2008 3:00 PM

If anyone here is looking for some good young-adult sci-fi, I also suggest Westerfield's 'Pretties' books.

Almost certainly to be made into a movie at some point, and almost certainly will be a disappointment. If Speilberg did it as a
'Minority Report' type thing, it would work, otherwise not a chance.

Posted by: twig at October 14, 2008 3:08 PM

Twig is incredibly right, the Uglies/Pretties series by Westerfeld is fantastic. I enjoyed the first few books in the Ember series, until it got too weighted down by it's own mythology and I gave it up. It's awful that this movie is so bad. And they added a giant flesh eating rat? Pathetic cop-out, there are so many other places they could have created suspense.

Plus side, some of the kids are reading the book, as always happens when a movie comes out, the book is on a waiting list again.

Posted by: libraryliz at October 14, 2008 3:27 PM

This sounds fucking stupid as shit. Whyyyy does nobody know that there was a fucking apocalypse and they're living fucking underground and in a couple months they're going to fucking DIE? I don't buy "conspiracy with old people and babies." Babies just aren't that smart. And why do they need to keep their instructions on how to get out secret? Let people know that they'll get their faces burnt off if they travel upstairs too soon, and they won't. How fucking hard was that?

I'll give them their big secret of how to get out: DIG UP.

(I've gotten Alyssa Milano-which is good, but they were drunk-and Patricia Heaton. The wife from Everybody Loves Raymond. I'm 22.)

Posted by: Sabrina at October 14, 2008 4:32 PM

I hope Saoirse Ronan doesn't fade away. I really liked her in 'Atonement', and she was even good in the abysmal 'I Could Never Be Your Woman'.

No joke, I look almost exactly like a slightly, erm, fleshier version of Winona Ryder, particularly in the 'Reality Bites' era. About twenty pounds ago I was told that several times a week, by complete strangers. It was kind of cool, because I dig Winona. Although when the whole shoplifting thing went down...that was a bad time for me, lol.

Posted by: Mimi at October 14, 2008 6:00 PM

Just for the sake of clarity, it's not a giant rat, It's a Giant Mole with a Chuthulu face.

Posted by: Bucko at October 14, 2008 6:35 PM

Having read the book awhile ago, I feel I can clarify somewhat, as I just saw the movie. It was far longer than 200 years, the countdown was for 200, but the film shows it counting down, and continuing to deteriorate after.
The movie hints that the city was repopulated without people knowing, except the one mayor, and the point was to keep it secret, so they could live in peace without the constant pull of trying to escape back to the surface. (yes simplified, it is a book for 5th graders.)
Theres alot more subtext in the book, looking at religious cults, reliance on technology, and giving power to just one person.
The movie fails here by trying to play it shorthand, not developing any characters, and introducing a pointless giant mole.
The only thing they got right was the set design.

Posted by: e at October 14, 2008 8:30 PM

I once got told I look like Paul McCartney, and ever since I've had to kill several one-legged golddiggers.

Posted by: bucdaddy at October 14, 2008 11:59 PM

I suppose this doesn't really need to be said, but if you were considering it, I'd just like to suggest that puking while procreating is not recommended.

Posted by: magic8ball at October 15, 2008 2:19 AM

Once I got a funky haircut and the idea spread that I looked like Dave Attell.

I'm Asian. Take that as you will.

Posted by: john darc at October 16, 2008 5:12 AM

I'm late to this thread, but I can jump the gun of an upcoming thread by saying that my daughter saw several flaws, similar to the ones listed here for this film, that are already evident in the upcoming Inkheart movie. This is just from seeing the trailer.

I saw Ember and figured that it was ok. It's a kid film so I dial down the expectations quite a bit. I thought it had a nice anti-government message which is good.

Posted by: imk at October 16, 2008 11:26 AM

Excellent escapist fare with a lot of familiar faces from the past (Mary Kay Place? Martin Landau?). I thought the kids were the best part, and kid-empowerment movies are always fun to watch. Bill Murray chews up the scenery cheerfully and literally. Nice atmosphere and visuals and it seemed to be much longer than 200 years since they'd been down there. I do agree about the dual plans but that's about all I agree with in this review.

Posted by: sabian30 at October 19, 2008 1:06 AM