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A Spot of OK

The Bank Job / Phillip Stephens

Film Reviews | March 7, 2008 | Comments (59)


The phrase “based on a true story” is already a meaningless one, even if you aren’t a post-structuralist, but the “real” story behind the infamous Baker Street bank robbery of 1971 is an imaginist’s wet dream. The crime was never solved, owing partially to a government-imposed gag order, or D-Notice, which forbade press coverage and fueled the fires of speculation. Writers Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais, working from real transcript evidence, think they have the juice on what was behind the crime. And lord is it juicy! But whatever the case (and whether or not you care), The Bank Job is a ridiculously entertaining thriller; like a well-thrown stone, it skips pleasantly over the better part of two hours without sinking under the unnecessary weights of character or melodrama.

What Clement and La Frenais posit was behind the robbery: an old-school royal sex scandal and cover-up. Michael X (Peter De Jersey) a Black Power roustabout by day and pimp/extortionist/dealer by night, has somehow nabbed several saucy photos of Princess Margaret doing the woo-woo with other ladies. X uses the photos as leverage when he’s busted for multiple crimes, and MI5 is desperate to get hold of them without, of course, dirtying their own hands. One of their operatives bribes the lovely Martine (Saffron Burrows, an appropriate sort of post-Twiggy), who’s up on her own drug charges, into aiding their cause. Martine hits up a local down-on-his luck hood named Terry (Jason Statham) and convinces him to put together a crew for a purportedly easy score. Terry and his mates are coaxed, unknowingly, into robbing a bank vault which contains X’s incriminating photos, which Martine will then deliver for MI5.

But unbeknownst to everyone, the bank in question is a dumping ground for criminal kingpins; the hapless thieves not only purloin the money they’re after, but other compromising photos of a prominent MP (in bondage gear, no less) and a ledger containing a porn kingpin’s payroll of corrupt cops! What ensues is a wonderful imbroglio of cop vs. crook, crook vs. crook, and MI5 vs. everyone; a fiasco of special interest forces overwhelming the poor boobs caught in the middle.

Better yet, the film is housed in the classic limey-mod capers of the 60s and 70s, a la Get Carter. Rarely since the poisoned oeuvre of Guy Ritchie has a film been this self-consciously British. The Bank Job is all blokes and blimeys and bollocks — the best kind of crime thriller. Even Statham, who has long since stopped playing a role other than Jason Statham, is absorbed into the whole cockney schema without missing a beat. Director Roger Donaldson doesn’t create a plot so much as contain it — he lets all these wrangling forces sprawl out at once, then watches as they chase one another, moving from one immediacy to the next. The result is certainly shallow, but blissfully engaging.

Phillip Stephens is the lead critic and book editor for Pajiba. He lives in Fayetteville, AR, and wastes his twenties in grad school(s).


Pajiba Love 03/07/08 | 10,000 B.C.



Comments

It's Statham, there's no fucking way I'm not gonna be there.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 7, 2008 9:07 PM

It's Statham, if he takes his shirt off, I will be there daily. :)

Posted by: Jennifer at March 7, 2008 9:12 PM

Jason Statham is the fucking MAN. He's made not so great movies, but I will still watch him do almost anything. I paid to see Transporter 2, if that tells you anything.

Posted by: Slash at March 7, 2008 9:13 PM

Hells yes to everything anyone already said about Statham. He rocks my ass.

Posted by: Julie at March 7, 2008 9:22 PM

No thanks.

Posted by: Kevin Longrie at March 7, 2008 9:41 PM

"...is already meaning less one, even in you aren't..."

should be.

"I just farted!"

I've actually been looking forward to this film. I'm afraid it's going to be terrible, but this review gives me some hope.

Posted by: Spork at March 7, 2008 9:42 PM

In other news: Ditto what everybody above says about Jason Statham (except that part about paying to see Transporter 2). He is coolest, most fun action hero ever, better than Schwarzenegger, better than anyone who came before.

Posted by: Jerce at March 7, 2008 9:43 PM

Jason Statham is like this generations Bruce Willis. Sure, most of his movies are going to suck, but you're going to pay to see them anyways because you know full well that throughout the movie you're going to say, "Holy fuck, that was awesome!"

Posted by: TeenieBopper at March 7, 2008 9:46 PM

Well I'm impressed. I fully expected this movie to blow chunks all over the back wall, but I guess I based that idea mostly on the horribly stupid name. Seriously? the Bank Job? That's the best they could come up with? I take shits with more imaginative names than that.

Posted by: the_Wakeful at March 7, 2008 9:57 PM

"Woo-woo"?

Saffron Burrows! She is a goddess.

Posted by: Jon at March 7, 2008 9:58 PM

That's why I'm always so confused when higher-ups take pictures of themselves doing stupid stuff. You know this is going to come back to haunt you, it's not Cameron Diaz before she made it big, you're a goddamn Princess, you'll always be big.

Posted by: hopit at March 7, 2008 10:14 PM

Glad to see you give this one a good review; I've had a yearning for a good caper movie recently and this looks like it'll fit the bill.

Posted by: telesilla at March 7, 2008 11:18 PM

This is the shortest review ever. Stephens - Did you write this on your blackberry?

Posted by: trey at March 7, 2008 11:30 PM

Spot on, TeenieBopper, spot on

Statham is the man

Posted by: Riles at March 8, 2008 12:25 AM

Phillip, m'man - you just made my night. I was sooo waiting for a good revi... NOT that the other reviews are bad - they are in fact, awsome - but I was waiting for a flick I would actually pay cash to see... Short, simple, succinct & convincing. Poifect...

By the way, the Statham love is a little too much this early in the thread... HA! Who the fuck am I kidding? I'm as straight as a fucking razor, but I'd let Captain Statham take a dump on my chest... That guy kicks ass... Hat's off to whoever made the... hold on a sec - Hat's off to Teenybopper with the BW comparisson - there was a time when that cat spun nothin' but gold.

Except for "Hudson Hawk". That was a flaming pile of ogre-vomit. I slashed the car tires of the kid that sold me the ticket to that wet-n-wild Santorumcoaster (props to Mr. Savage)...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at March 8, 2008 1:02 AM

Another Statham awesome-movie-to-watch-in-your-dorm-while-fucked-up.

Posted by: uncivilizedmike at March 8, 2008 1:12 AM

Statham has seemed really humorless to me lately, but he looks pretty funny and Turkish-like in this one. I might actually pay to go see this one.

Posted by: Mimi at March 8, 2008 3:56 AM

"Who the fuck am I kidding? I'm as straight as a fucking razor, but I'd let Captain Statham take a dump on my chest... That guy kicks ass..."

amen to that...Statham is the man...

Posted by: idiot dentist at March 8, 2008 5:32 AM

Is it normal for commenters' posts to be edited without indication? Granted, changing my grammatical correction to "I just farted" is odd, but it ain't what I wrote, pal.

Ha ha -- my guess, Spork, is that Mr. Stephens drank the barrel, fish and all, came home last night at 3 a.m. and finally gave into the same impulse we've all had at one time or another. And addled by alcohol, I think the best PS could come up with was "I just farted." C'mon, P-Step; you can do better than that (and I'll note, for the record, that Spork didn't just fart). It's a forgivable sin, but I apologize on behalf of the site all the same. -- DR

Posted by: Spork at March 8, 2008 8:56 AM

Ha ha -- my guess, Spork, is that Mr. Stephens drank the barrel, fish and all, came home last night at 3 a.m. and finally gave into the same impulse we've all had at one time or another.

Dammit, now knowing that, and rereading the edit, it makes more sense, and now I can't stop laughing.

You folks have too much power.

Posted by: Vermillion at March 8, 2008 9:22 AM

First, I'm a little irritated that you all got here before me to extole the virtues of the Statham.

This looks like the first movie he has been in for a while that is worth seeing for something other than its Stathamness. Or Stathamosity. I have watched bad movies on cable just because of its Stathaminity.

If he starts making good movies I won't know how to behave.

Posted by: greer at March 8, 2008 9:46 AM

Greer - I am phoning Websters as of right now. Your words will be in the dictionary. I swear it...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at March 8, 2008 10:23 AM

I was going to see this anyway just for the Stathamosity, but not only a good review but one that describes the kind of things I enjoy (caper movie, MI5, 60s-70s Brit gangsters) is just like catnip.

Posted by: Adam C at March 8, 2008 10:47 AM

For Brits of a certain age (such as ...Ahem...me!) the magic words "writers Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais" are enough on their own to have us right there in the front row cheering. I'll be there. It sounds just what I need on a horrible snowy Canadian day - though it may have to wait until the snow ploughs have been by and i can get out of the driveway. Heyho for Spring Break!

Posted by: mnemo at March 8, 2008 11:25 AM

I'm going to pretend that I'm some seasoned movie-goer that doesn't settle for anything less than the finest in cinema, but that would be a lie. I f***in' loved Crank, and the Transporters, and can't wait to see this do. Damnit, Statham, you incubus.

Posted by: maria at March 8, 2008 11:27 AM

That's cool, Dustin. I'm not pissed off or anything. Hint: you can tell I'm not pissed because I didn't accuse anyone of having J.J. Abrams's cock in his or her mouth.

It was just a very weird thing to see without an edit clue.

Posted by: Spork at March 8, 2008 11:38 AM

There is no describing how happy I am that this movie has been released when I'm actually home from college, and thus have a means of getting to a theater. Statham for the win!

Posted by: kalexal at March 8, 2008 11:57 AM

mnemo - Being in a similar demographic I know exactly what you mean about Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais.

Be warned though, for all the gold we remember (Likely Lads, Porridge, Auf Wiedersehen Pet, Still Crazy, Flushed Away, The Commitments) their imbd entries reveal they've been involved in a few stinkers too.

The problem is, because they are just 'lowly writers' you never know how much of their original work made it into such gems as Goal, Honest or Vice Versa.

Posted by: Simon B at March 8, 2008 12:01 PM

"Your words will be in the dictionary. I swear it..."

Skittimus, If you have the power to put words into the dictionary, can you have them take words out? I would like "bling" removed.

Thanks!

Posted by: greer at March 8, 2008 12:55 PM

I'm glad we're not the only members of Pajiba's Official Jason Statham Fan Club anymore, Slim.

Posted by: Smokin at March 8, 2008 1:05 PM

wait...Jason Statham is in a movie that's actually watchable for something besides him? Not that I'm complaining, I'd watch the man read the newspaper on the crapper.

My boyfriend has agreed that not only would he not be pissed if I left him for the Stathonator, he'd probably brag to all his friends. So...hells yeah, date movie...woo-woo guaranteed!!

Posted by: SashaCA2 at March 8, 2008 2:02 PM

I'm glad we're not the only members of Pajiba's Official Jason Statham Fan Club anymore, Slim.

Posted by: Smokin at March 8, 2008 1:05 PM

----------------------------------------------

Indeed, old friend.

And let me just add that, as far as I'm concerned, there's only TWO kinds of films: Films were Statham was in, and films he should have been in.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 8, 2008 2:06 PM

I have nothing to add to all the superlatives of Statham love. Except, you know, "amen."

Posted by: magic8ball at March 8, 2008 3:11 PM

We saw Bank Job last night, and though reasonably diverting, the best part of the evening was the ridiculous/awful trailer for Midnight Meat Train. Yes, MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN, PEOPLE. I've never heard a dumber movie title in my life, and with so much potential for dirty jokes, it's hardly worth bothering. I laughed out loud until I had tears streaming down my cheeks.

Posted by: watoosa at March 8, 2008 4:49 PM

We saw Bank Job last night, and though reasonably diverting, the best part of the evening was the ridiculous/awful trailer for Midnight Meat Train. Yes, MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN, PEOPLE. I've never heard a dumber movie title in my life, and with so much potential for dirty jokes, it's hardly worth bothering. I laughed out loud until I had tears streaming down my cheeks.

Posted by: watoosa at March 8, 2008 4:50 PM

By the way, here's the trailer to Midnight Meat Train, complete with the line "I've got a train to catch." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pifkqLq6c0

It looks fucking horrible. Let's hope Dustin reviews it! Yay!

Hey! I apologized to you on behalf of the site already -- why would you wish that on *me*? -- DR

Posted by: Spork at March 8, 2008 6:12 PM

It's probably because you do such an amazing job when there's a terrible movie that really makes it personal.

Posted by: TsoiLives at March 8, 2008 9:27 PM

Your pain is my reading delight.

Posted by: Spork at March 8, 2008 9:45 PM

Ever since I saw Rambo, i've been waiting for the Midnight Meat Train backlash on Pajiba. It going to suffer from Snakes on a Plane syndrome. Counted out before it's even seen.

Posted by: Tyranthesaurus Rex at March 9, 2008 12:41 AM

I mean... are there roving packs of studio executives wandering around indiscrimately giving people millions of dollars to make terrible movies? Midnight Meat Train?!? Are you fucking kidding me?

Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at March 9, 2008 10:32 AM

I saw The Bank Job last night and was summarily amusing....much love for Jason Statham and sex scandals.
As for Midnight Meat Train...wtf??? I saw this looked over at my friend and said let me know when they drop the butchering bit and make meat train refer to naked oily men instead...then I might be interested!

Posted by: clarity at March 9, 2008 5:56 PM

Um I meant "it was."

Posted by: clarity at March 9, 2008 5:57 PM

Layer Cake and I'll Sleep When I'm Dead were much more "self-consciously British" than anything Guy Ritchie ever shat.

Posted by: Brett at March 9, 2008 6:05 PM

Sooo... I guess I'm the only one who thinks Midnight Meat Train is a cool title, huh? I mean, sure, it looks idiotic. But I actually love the title. Kind of old school splatterrific.

Posted by: TK at March 9, 2008 8:05 PM

Midnight Meat Train is only a good title for gay subway porn, TK.

Now, if you're into that, then fine. Have all the train-sausage you want. Me? I'll be trying to find good movies without lines like "I've got a train to catch."

Posted by: Spork at March 9, 2008 10:02 PM

I saw "The Bank Job" today. Pretty damn good.

And yeah, put another one down for "WTF? Midnight Meat Train?!?" They should have focus grouped that title. Porno is the very first thing I thought when I saw the title. And I guarantee you more than one review will mention porn. Christ. Even "Midnight Train" would have been OK. Or "Night Train."

Posted by: Slash at March 9, 2008 11:07 PM

Midnight Meat Train is the title of the original Clive Barker story. Unfortunately Clive Barker short story to screen quality can be...spotty at the very least, truly, absolutely, horribly, godawful at worst.

Posted by: Adam C at March 10, 2008 12:32 AM

Are you fucking retarded? Now and then I click on a blind movie review link, usually from agent bedhead, she knows its the best policy, and I stupidly come upon a fucking useless pajimbo review. You are the shittiest reviewer on the net.

This movie's plot is driven by the fact that each faction is stupider than the last: the crooks are morons, but luckily so are the cops, the secret agents and the militants and the gangsters. And the assholes who managed to build a fucking bank vault over an aquaduct 2 feet down, sink pilings for a foundation and never notice a crumbling brick mausoleum. The reason all these factions HAS to be stupid is that if any one of them werent morons, the movie would be over. Really insulting movie, really fucking retarded review. Why dont you give everyone a fucking break and stop your overblown self wanking over long reviews that dont say shit and show an alarming lack of movie knowledge, taste of even a modicum of intelligence. You stupid fuck Roeper wannabe.


I recommend suicide. --PS

Posted by: dan Reed at March 10, 2008 5:35 AM

"...You stupid fuck Roeper wannabe...."


Ouch!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 10, 2008 7:08 AM

dan Reed is, I believe, off his meds. That's the only thing I can think of that would cause such a obnoxious, pointless comment. Someone call someone before he starts foaming at the mouth and biting the furniture!

Also, can anybody tell me what the fuck "taste of even a modicum of intelligence" means?

Posted by: TK at March 10, 2008 11:07 AM

Sounds like an envious competing site to me. One whose first language is not English.

Posted by: Slash at March 10, 2008 11:34 AM

It will be nice to see Stathom in something that doesn't suck, again.

Posted by: Olivia at March 10, 2008 11:43 AM

This movie was really great. Its sad it did so horrible at the box office. The advertising for the movie wasn't that great though...

Posted by: melissa at March 10, 2008 12:15 PM

Stathamocrity- the standard of being just good enough to view because Jason Statham is in it. Yum!
Also- farts and suicide recommendations. I love this site.

Posted by: that bees chick at March 10, 2008 2:31 PM

Add me to the list of people who will watch anything involving Statham.

And as for Midnight Meat Train, apart from being a good Clive Barker story, it has Vinnie Jones in it, who I will also watch in any movie because he can't do anything BUT kick vast amounts of ass. And Clive Barker is a great big queer and you expect a title less phallic than Midnight Meat Train? Come on now.

Posted by: MG at March 10, 2008 4:40 PM

I am stoked that P.S. changed Spork's post. I get so sick of the ever present correction post by the pajibans. I even think that "I farted!" is the perfect edit for uptight, ocd weirdos who need to make sure that everything they read is perfectly constructed and those who have to flex their grammatical muscles to give everyone else notice of the imperfection. Its not like they are pointing out egregious errors that would bother your average reader. THAT, Phillip, was the best part of this review.

Feel free to tear apart my confusing, grammatically deficient post.

Posted by: Handel at March 10, 2008 6:54 PM

I have recently afflated. That is possibly a more felicitous locution.

::opens a window::

Anyway. Good review, and I think I'll take in this picture. It sounds like a good way to piss away an afternoon.

Posted by: The Wanderer at March 11, 2008 4:58 PM

I just saw it last night, and I have to say I was disappointed. I thought I was getting into a stylish, period, lighthearted heist movie (especially after reading this review). It got a little too violent, dark and emotional for a stylish heist romp. It just distracted from the shallow fun, like it was trying to mean more than it did. Just more than I bargained for, that's all.

Posted by: Susquehana at March 13, 2008 4:46 PM

Saw this last night and Phillip, I don't think we saw the same film. It was TERRIBLE. The editing was atrocious and the subplot was so disconnected from the rest of the narrative that it was a physically jarring switch between the two. This film was one is the worst I have seen this year. Now, I don't have to watch the crap that you wade through for this site (and I thank you for taking one for the team as it were) but this film is god awful and I would warn everyone to stay very far away.

Posted by: Ebs at April 3, 2008 8:23 AM