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The 10 Best Comments of the Week Reminds Us All to be More Swintonesque in the New Year

By Prolixity Julien | Posted Under Eloquent Eloquence | Comments (23)

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Eloquent Eloquence is a compilation of the ten best comments of the week. Comments in reviews are not eligible for inclusion.

There is a link in the commenter’s name that will take you to the original post.

This is not the least right Dustin has ever been.

10. ” I dunno. The same day you recognize that opinions and facts aren’t the same thing?”

Coincidentally, you and your opinions are both wrong. - morgaen

9. I don’t think I have ever been more in love with this site. And that’s saying something.

I love you like Mr. Darcy loves Lizzy Bennett. I love you like Atticus Finch loves justice. I love you like Dorian Gray loves vice. - lyssie

8. OK, two words of advice for people in movies running from stuff: Turn right.

Or left.

Doesn’t matter, the thing you’re running from is going straight and will continue to do so, so will you just fucking go sideways already? - Dave

7. Last Call with Carson Daly is the other one he hosts.

I remember catching a few minutes of it once when I had dozed off during Late Night and I couldn’t find the remote. Then I found the remote.

That story is more interesting that the show. - Sherri

6. “and a non-sensical story arc involving angles…”

Aw, I thought that was acute story arc. - Craig

5. I ADORE “When the River Meets the Sea!” I want it played at my funeral after I’m inevitably murdered. - Monton

4. “It’s got leather, Beckinsale, and weaponry.”

Correction: it’s got leather, Beckinsale’s fine ass in that leather, and weaponry being wielded by the aforementioned ass in the leather - Fredo

3. i like how you didn’t post: Just Go With It, Bucky Larson, and Jack & Jill. Ya….your tastes suck. — The Minn

(Which part of “They are neither good nor terrible. They are the year’s most forgettable films” did you not understand? The first step to being a successful Internet commenter, The Minn, is reading comprehension. — DR)

2. So Tilda Swinton has to change her appearance to look normal and other actresses change their appearance to look Swintonesque. - John W

1. All I’m saying (jokingly so) is, while you think that all these asides, insightful (or for clarification’s sake[maybe even your own])as they may seem, help you get your point, or many points all in one sentence, the length of which keep growing, across, it typically (for me [I may be on my own]) obfuscates (word of the day!) your intended, or unintended, as the case may be, point. - Jast










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Comments

SWINTON! That is all.

Posted by: miss kate at December 30, 2011 10:54 AM

Correction correction: That fine ass is in latex. Shiny, shiny latex.

Posted by: Meander at December 30, 2011 10:56 AM

That pretty much made Jast my hero for the day.

Posted by: PerpetualIntern at December 30, 2011 11:00 AM

That red stripy dress person sitting on George Clooney's right. WTF? My eyes!
That cannot be his date. Was she a seat-filler brought down during the commercial
break? And in such close proximity to the class and calm that is The Swinton.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at December 30, 2011 12:55 PM

Usually the EEs are so long it's hard to bring myself to care. This week was all snappy and whip-smart.

Posted by: ChristianH at December 30, 2011 1:03 PM

If you skip the longer comments, that means you're missing out on Skitz. And if you're missing out on Skitz, your life is EMPTY.

Posted by: Craig at December 30, 2011 1:23 PM

WHAAAAA? Thank you! Based on the likely permanent damage to my cognitive parts, I feel like The Adventureman Cometh (Again).

Posted by: Jast at December 30, 2011 1:46 PM

Beckinsale Ass, whether in sweet latex or leather or pallet wrap or chocolate pudding, really tickles certain areas that shall thankfully remain nameless.

Posted by: The Wanderer at December 30, 2011 1:49 PM

@Ms MoMo: Probably an executive producer of some kind, of one of Clooney's movies. It's always the exec producers who come up on stage if the movie itself wins an award.

Posted by: MM at December 30, 2011 2:00 PM

So number three was awarded to Dustin? And you people still claim you're not a pat-yourself-on-your-backs bunch? Stay close to one another, wouldn't want you to have an individual or, heaven forbid, divergent thought from the herd.

Posted by: Me at December 30, 2011 2:35 PM

I calls 'em as I see 'em.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at December 30, 2011 2:37 PM

Anyone else smell some bitter?

Posted by: logan at December 30, 2011 3:08 PM

That's my Jean Naté.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at December 30, 2011 3:13 PM

That's Frances McDormand you assholes.

KISSES!!!

Posted by: coveredinbees at December 30, 2011 3:32 PM

The woman in the red stripe dress looks like a cross between Emma Caufield and Frances McDormand.

Posted by: PerpetualIntern at December 30, 2011 3:38 PM

Jean Nate? Is that some Canadian beer?

Posted by: logan at December 30, 2011 3:47 PM

More importantly, who is that Mexican kid sitting next to Tina Fey, and who is texting?

Posted by: MRod at December 30, 2011 5:37 PM

Hey Mrs. Julien, I’ve got a good idea for you. Since Rowles listed you as the most prolific commenter of 2011 without any proof, and you awarded him third place in the highly coveted EE top ten comments. Why don’t you both just take turns announcing each other the winner of whatever contest that’s coming down road and stop the goddamn charade.

Posted by: Pookie at December 30, 2011 6:53 PM

You're assuming that I consider being the most prolific commenter a good thing.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at December 30, 2011 7:40 PM

Pookie, if you're such a damn retard that you can't go through a post, hit ctrl+f "Mrs. J" to find her name, bless your children and the unfortunate sac they will come from.

Posted by: duckandcover at December 30, 2011 11:02 PM

You silly people. That is a beautiful hand carved statue of the Swinton. Notice the almost life-like eyes, the alabaster skin, the serene Mona Lisa smile, the other worldly match of hair and garment. The Swinton would never look that animated.

Posted by: kirbyjay at December 31, 2011 8:01 AM

I wonder if she also intended to match her hair and dress to the chairs they are sitting in? If so, Diabolical!

Posted by: Viking at January 2, 2012 10:45 PM

this rocks! thanks for sharin!

Posted by: angela at January 30, 2012 6:23 PM