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I Am Offended by Your Anti-Vowelism: The 10 Best Comments of the Week

By Prolixity Julien | Eloquent Eloquence | February 3, 2012 | Comments ()


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Eloquent Eloquence is a compilation of the ten best comments of the week. Comments in reviews are not eligible for inclusion.

There is a link in the commenter's name that will take you to the original post.

There were a lot of opinions here. It was all very Pajiba.

10. First I am going to agree with you that the ad goes way too far.
Next, I am going to tell you that I am pro-life.
I believe that very controversial thing that a fetus is a baby and that the baby was created for a purpose... (Please keep reading before you judge me)

I know that a lot of the people reading this disagree with this point of view, but let me tell you that I am not a person standing outside of abortion clinics in my area yelling at women about their decision. Why not? Because I have nothing to offer them... I am not in a position to adopt their child. I am not an adoption agent with legal rights to offer her that opportunity.
I do not have the money to pay for that woman's prenatal care or to pay for infant care/child care/etc should I convince her to keep the baby.

This ad does NOTHING but make those of us who are pro-life look BAD... it is nearly as bad as the people who blow up abortion clinics... How non-pro-life is that?

If I were able to run an organization offering women other options, I would gladly meet with women considering abortion and offer to help them. I have friends who run an organization that helps with prenatal care, adoptions, and many other services that actually give women options other than abortion. THAT is being pro-life: not just being anti-abortion, but actually having solutions to better the woman's life.

Pro-life politicians need to come up with some real plans for the next steps after a woman decided to go through with a pregnancy they do not want. If they can't do that - offer solutions other than just telling women they are committing murder (and Bible thumping pro-lifers need to remember that we should not judge because we too will be judged -Matthew 7:1-5) - then they shouldn't be able to run on that platform.

Anyway... just my humble opinion. - Evie

9. I prefer business casual sex so I always keep my socks and polo shirt on. - Tracer Bullet

8. Here's what I don't get about Fear Factor. OK, so they're moving snakes with their mouths, drinking donkey jizz, and doing whatever else. These are not things one would be - afraid to do, these are just things that only incredibly stupid fame whores would do. Fear doesn't enter into the equation.

You want real Fear? Take me to a crowded place and hide my kid. Lay me off from a high-paying job right before tax time and give me a shitty severance so I can't afford the taxes on the wages I'm no longer earning (or COBRA, or anything else for that matter). Say "hmmmm" or "uh-oh" when I ask you to feel a lump (on me - it would turn to terror if the lump's on my kid). Serve me with a lawsuit for bills that I can't pay.

That's fear. The rest is just bullshit. - Captain Tuttle

7. None of this addresses the fact that the Rebooblicans are THIS close to putting forward a candidate named Newt or a candidate named Mitt.

Y'all better vote Obama simply to avoid the relentless schoolyard mock-fest that's sure to come the first time the UN meets post-election. And the UN are just MERCILESS. Rumour has it the 13th floor features a pool filled with the tears of Boutros Boutros-Ghali. - Bert

6. This contest was over as soon as Dafoe reared his gloriously grotesque, universe-splitting face.

Willy, listen, you don't need the rifle, mate. Point your face towards your prey, focus on the animal, split that face asunder with a smile and watch it drop dead in an instant.

Little known fact: every time Willem Dafoe ejaculates and makes his ejaculation face, somewhere a black hole is born. - zeke the pig

5. In TK's basement, with a fellow prisoner. There were zombies all around, which made it very exciting. - Uriah Creep

4. As a Persian I can confirm that we really do hate ants and ugly people...but then again the definition of "ugly" for Persians is anyone who has their original nose. - sara

3. Brava to Clooney for defining "whitesplain" and "mansplain" all at once. As loaded (and occasionally misused and annoying) as those terms can be, they pretty succinctly describe what happened here.- Amanda6

2. Translation:

"If you liked Johnny Depp as an unearthly, unnerving, vaguely child molester-y germaphobe in CHARLIE & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, you'll LOVE Adam Sandler in his turn as a (literally) larger than life, vaguely learning disabled, baby talking man child in CANDY LAND.

Coming soon--Summer 2013

Price of admission: youR human dignity & your everlasting soul"

That's better. - VonnegutSlut

1. I am offended by your anti-vowelism. Why didn't you star it "shi**y"? Why is it always "f*ck"?

I'll tell you why: Because you're an anti-vowelist.

Oh yes you are! You're a rabid anti-vowelist!

You consonants, think you're better than every other letter, not to mention lowly punctuation marks such as yours truly, just because you outnumber the vowels 21 (and sometimes 20) to 5 (and sometimes 6), you think that gives you the right to just bully them around and tell them what to do, and if their mere presence in a word offends you, why, just * them. Do that often enough and you don't even think of i's and u's as letters any more, in your mind they're less-than-letters, more like 3/5s of a letter. You'd probably like to see them all locked up or deported, wouldn't you? "Ship them all to Wales," is your attitude.

"They can use them there, their words never seem to have enough vowels."

Yeah, real *u**i** funny.

Well, vowels have just as much right to exist as ANY letter, so *u** YOU, *u**i* *o**e*, and your crimes against vowelmanity. It's time the vowels and punctuation marks stood up to you and your bullying ways. So let me put this in letters you'll understand:

PLLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTTTT! - Posted by: ,



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