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Eloquent Eloquence: The Skeeviness of Greasy Naked Men Humping the Air

By Mrs. Julien | Eloquent Eloquence | July 6, 2012 | Comments ()


Monica-Bellucci-5.jpeg

Eloquent Eloquence is a compilation of the best comments of the week. Comments in reviews are not eligible for inclusion.

There is a link in the commenter's name that will take you to the original post.

That's right. The list is shorter this week. Let me be clear: It's not me. It's you.

Have you voted yet? It's a Pajiba rite of passage like TK's basement, or your first encounter with Pookie.

The So It's Not Just Me Comment of the Week goes to mona_sterling , although if Joe What's-his-name showed up at my house, I'd be getting the stepladder.

So glad I'm not in the minority. I love beautiful men and everything, but I'm just skeeved out by greasy nekkid men humping the air, or stranger's faces, or whatever. Overdeveloped pecs just seem a hair's breadth away from big old plastic knockers to me for some reason. Men with muscles like that usually are too bulky to have any grace so the sight of them lumbering around is just cringe-inducing. Now if Joe what's-his-name showed up at my house to fix my water heater or move my furniture, I might have a different reaction.

The Is It Because I Look Like Comic Book Guy? Comment of the Week goes to BWeaves. Who else feels slighted? Show of hands ...

In no particular order, and for no particular reason other than I don't know who half the people are on other people's lists.

The men:

,
Admin
Seth
TK
Daniel

The women:

Dustin
Courtney
Genevieve
Joanna
Sarah

The Suppressive Person Comment of the Week goes to zeke_the_pig for his nefarious scheme to separate Tom Cruise from his galactic overlords. Hail Zenu!

Don't you just wanna rescue the poor little batshitanaut? Or, well: exploit. I can't help but find his super-earnest, hard working ethic endearing. I just sometimes think it could be better served by helping me. I'd pay good money to have someone with that much zeal sort shit out for me.

I'd yell, 'TOM! We're out of toilet paper!' And he'd burst out through my living room window and rappel down the side of the building from my first floor flat to bring me the toilet paper that I like. From Moscow. And I'd just sit there and make witty, Simon Pegg quips for five minutes. Also half of Moscow would explode. And Paula Patton would be there.

The Righteously Lustful Indignation Comment of the Week goes to Bierce Ambrose. He does have a point and he loves a nice conspiracy.

I call shenanigans! Also vote-fixing, pole - er - de-polling, misdirection and ballot-tampering. Where's Monica Bellucci in the hall of fame? And you list Alison Brie as both a new inductee and legacy famer. (Mmmmm. Inducting Alison Brie. With crackers and a fondu set. .... Wait, where was I?) I mean the girl has talent -- er -- talents, but time travel isn't one of them. (That we know of. Wait, Whedon has finally revealed that he has *actual* super powers, and is time-warping Alison Brie to the left and right as his feminist cartoon hero-girl?)

While the rest of the tingle-tariat may have been all too eager to release their
pent-up lust after a month of teasing - and come on, people, self control is hot, so show some restraint (Yum - restraint.) I was paying attention. Concentrating even. With the focus.

I call for investigations, prosecutions (and persecutions), show trials, and then I'm gonna get all stux-on-boobies-net on your ass & anono-hack the voting. I demand documents. And pictures. Piles and piles of pictures. And GIFs. And more pictures.

By Godtopus, This Will Not Stand.

The Comment of the Week Comment of the Week goes to Mrcreosote . Does this mean his subconscious looks like 1970s basement porn?

Sorry, whenever I dream of Terry Richardson Chris Hanson always wakes me up.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • A girl looks so horny in the above photo. Her naught eyes and large boobs are attract me more. Wish i will suck her boobs hard.

  • BierceAmbrose

    So, even name-checking both Monica Bellucci and Alison Brie, I'm second in a week we under-perform? Um, yay me?!

    I feel so ... barely adequate.

  • You've got it backwards. You are super fantastic and I would not sully your magnificence with the ramblings of lesser mortals.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Oh, you made me laugh out loud. Thanks.

  • mona_sterling

    Eep! I'm in some vaunted territory now.

  • laylaness

    I wish I could slip "tingle-tariat" into conversation smoothly. Yeah, nice and smooth.

  • Mrcreosote

    My subconscious looks like a sleek mid century Miesian dream house overlooking the crashing waves of the Southern Caliornia coast. It's my conscious mind thats full of wood paneling and fuzzy nethers.

  • My subconscious has a wrap around porch with cedar shinges hence the splinters.

  • marya

    Unfortunately, my subconscious looks like an episode of Hoarders. Pretty sure there's a dead cat in there under the empty take-out containers.

  • googergieger

    Why the hell were they having sex with basements in the seventies....

  • Rotwang

    Ah, Monica B...those lips, those eyes...

  • Jezzer

    I've gotten so sick of reading the name "Alison Brie" that I just want to start screaming like it's Pee-Wee's Word of the Day.

  • BWeaves

    Ooops, sorry Mrs. Julien. I didn't mean to slight you. You definitely make the list, too. It's just that I seriously couldn't think of any celebrity that I wanted to bang. Nobody. Absolutely nobody. So, on a whim, I thought it would be funny to list Dustin in the women's column, as someone else had mentioned that he had babies and turned into a woman. So, I just whipped up a quick list of names I could remember, and quit writing when I got to 5 each. I had no idea that my comment would take off like that, or that people would feel slighted that they didn't make my list. I'm speechless. OK, given all I've just written, I guess I'm not speechless, but you know what I mean. Are we good?

  • ,

    Dammit, and I was just training through New Jersey today (been on vacation, so I'm a few days behind the comments). I was thisclose to making your dreams come true.

    *sigh*

    Welp,since I spent all the vacation money, you're just going to have to imagine me in my trenchcoat and fedora, de-training in the steam and mist of gritty Newark to eye you up and down, engage in hard-boiled repartee and proceed to give you a good ravishing.

    If that doesn't usher you into the tingle-tariat, what possibly could?

  • ,

    ... It IS New Jersey, right?

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Awwww, I feel honoured. And quite aroused. The rest of y'all just hating because you don't have the debonair sparkle of an epileptic dolphin.

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