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Eloquent Eloquence: The Full Thirlby Edition

By Mrs. Julien | Eloquent Eloquence | August 30, 2013 | Comments ()


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Eloquent Eloquence, The Full Thirlby Edition, is a compilation of the best comments of the week. Comments in non-Dustin reviews are ineligible for inclusion.

A Courtney Enlow liveblog is always fun hysterically funny.

The We Revel in Your Cynicism Comment of the Week goes to kali yuga for providing a contribution to the 27498752lk4 reasons things are not going to end well for humanity:

We live in a culture where one of the most highly valued and well-compensated skills is the ability to put a ball into a hole. If you want to know why we’re doomed as a species, that’s a good place to start.

The If by “Door” You Mean “TK’s Basement”, You Are Correct Comment of the Week goes to Bert_McGurt and Batesian for insufficient verbal shame :

Bert_McGurt: More like Entertainment, Weakly - amirite?

/shows self to door

Tomas353: Are you here all week?

Mograph: How’s the veal?

Batesian: He’s here all weak — amirite?

/follows out the door

The It’s Her Body Comment of the Week goes to Sara_Tonin00 for finding a silver lining in a flesh-coloured bikini:

I think Miley Cyrus is doing a brave and pointed thing - she is taking female sexuality so far to the extreme, all the supposedly desirable traits to men: skintight outfits, lascivious licking, grinding - *so far* to the extreme that they become unattractive and highlight the ridiculousness of society’s determination of what is sexy.

She just isn’t aware that she’s doing it.

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The I’m Already in Line for Pompeiii Comment of the Week goes to Demps351 for resisting the use of “Electric Boogaloo”:

This just reminded me how great the first Pompe was. Definitely one of the bright spots of the past few years. Now they have to go and ruin it with this obvious cash grab sequel.

The FINE! We Can Say ONE Good Thing about Disqus: It Allows for Hilarious Conversations without Frantic Scrolling Comment of the Week goes to NateMan and MaguitaNYC for…

Ya, the only problem with the conversation is its too long to insert here. Please go to the original thread. The banter is ostensibly about Muppets, or, to use the PC term, “People of Felt”.

The Does Macbeth Swing His Dick at All in That Play? Comment of the Week goes to Tomas353 for an observation about Michael Fassbender playing MacB— Wait. You have a spot of blood just there. No, to the left. Won’t it come off?:

I was initially going to say that MacBeth swings his dick the whole time, but then I realized it’d be more precise to suggest he holds it limply in his hand the whole time.

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The Is It Just Me, Or Is Thor’s “Hammer” Bigger? Comment of the Week goes (with a H/T to MC for the set up) to Quatermain who is right as long as it isn’t a ball-peen hammer:

It’s not the size of the hammer, it’s how far you can throw it.

The Wentworth Miller Came Out as a Forty-One Year Old Comment of the Week goes to Berry for some reactionary honesty. Your prize is a subscription to The Advocate:

You’re so right. The PC brigade has gone TOO FAR. Why can’t I say that I don’t believe in your life-style choice of being 41 without being attacked? And it’s not like I hate 41 year old people. Some of my best friends are 41, and they know I find their age disgusting, but as long as they don’t shove it in my face, we’re cool. I try not to touch them too much though, ‘cause eww, wrinkles.

And has anyone thought to ask what’s next? Pretty soon people who are 39 as God intended will want to marry their 41 old SIBLINGS! It’s madness, I’m telling you.

The Comment of the Week Comment of the Week goes to LB for showing us his/her cerebral cortex:

When I read the phrase “all the Bradley Coopers out there,” I immediately pictured a clone army of Bradley Coopers lying in wait to take over the world in button-ups with rolled up sleeves, lovely/creepy eyes, and terrible hair. THEN, I pictured a large closet full of Bradley Coopers that were powered down, waiting for their turn to step into the spotlight when the current Cooper wears down. And THEN, I thought of The Prestige and imagined hordes of *old spoiler alert* Hugh Jackman clones fighting various Jedi from the Star Wars prequels, who had teamed up Bradley Cooper clones. (n.b. I thought the Hugh Jackman army would win, because in my head they had Wolverine claws and super-healing powers.) - -

And then, I read the rest of the list, and it was really good.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Maguita NYC

    And congrats to our little Berry! Whose cherry I've downvoted first.

  • Berry

    And I still can't thank you enough for making it so memorable!

    Mine was alright, but Courtney was robbed, her comment was so succinct and perfect. Which isn't to say that I don't appreciate the validation, because I DO. Appreciate it.

  • Mrs. Julien

    A. Don't belittle your own magnificence.
    B. Courtney got a shout out for her liveblog magnificence.

  • Berry

    Now you two have made me blush. But that's surprisingly becoming on me, so thank you kindly.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Courtney's comment was really funny, but you elaborated very nicely. Accept our adulation while you can!

  • LB

    Thanks! If I am or ever become crazy, I hope it is at least somewhat entertaining to others.

    For clarification purposes, it is a lady-cortex.

  • emmalita

    It was an excellent flight of fancy.

  • Batesian

    Why is TK's basement overrun with chinchillas?!

  • Maguita NYC

    Because of Sparkletits.

  • Helo

    THE FULL THIRLBY IS A THING.

    If I don't contribute anything else to Pajiba, this will more than suffice. *lecry

  • Pants-are-a-must

    Call me when you're done doing your Captain Hammer impressions, I'll be making myself comfortable on Monsieur Hemsworth in the meantime.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Congrats to my dear Maguita :)

  • Maguita NYC

    Woohoo! We should celebrate, I made the eloquents. Thank you Mrs. J!

    And congrats to my partner in crime Nateman for his absurd hyperbolic pediophobia, may he choke on felt and crap strings. Gently :)

  • emmalita

    I think he fainted, overcome with gratitude for the much desired approbation of the overlords.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Am I the only one who finds "ball-peen hammer" to sound creepy?

    Yay to smart commenters all round.

  • mswas

    heh heh, she said "peen," heh heh heh

  • Sara_Tonin00

    and "ball." And then you add hammer. It's messed up, is what I"m saying.

  • frank247

    The hammer is my ball-peen?

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