Eloquent Eloquence: Death By A Thousand Sporks
Eloquent Eloquence is a compilation of the ten best comments of the week. Comments in film reviews are not eligible for inclusion.
10. I haven’t been a very happy person since middle school a few years back. It was worse than usual so I decided to go talk with someone. The therapist I saw seemed to be reading from the manual of the good therapist. When I got home I told my mother about her and she deadpanned, “She needs a few suicides under her belt before she figures out how to do her job.” — rio
9. Sarah, I was with you … right up until the moment I skidded into Buscemi. No matter what that man wears, he always looks like Don Knotts on crack. — Carolina Girl
8. You had me at Bag of Dicks. — Greedy
7. I don’t … I don’t think I get it.
Here is a random and pointless list of words to couple your random list of movies.
10. Haberdashery — superasente
6. You forgot the FOURTH option for castration; being endlessly jabbed and stabbed in the scrotum by an assault of disgruntled movie-goers one at a time who are each armed with plastic cutlery- better known as …
Death By A Thousand Sporks. — bluejayone
5. Dear Whoever Is In Charge Of These Things:
I know this time yesterday I was asking you to kill me, but I’ve changed my mind. Please wait to kill me until after Community and Breaking Bad have ended. I will try to refrain from begging for sweet, sweet release until then.
Thanks for listening!
P.S. If the Blu ray edition release date of The West Wing is within 3 months after the aforementioned show finales, please stay death until after I’ve seen the first four seasons. Kill me right before I decide to watch the last three just for the sense of completion. — Three-nineteen
4. “Slimer was gay.”
Fucking FINALLY. Thank you. A thousand times over, thank you.
I can’t wait to print this out, duct-tape it to a brick and chuck the fucking thing through my ex-wife’s windshield, especially seeing how this subject was a major contributing factor in our marriage falling apart.
Jeremy. — Skitz
3. Also, I’ve been yelling “MARS ATTACKS!” when I whip it out for years. — D-Day
2. Nicknames for lady area? What’s wrong with ‘kitchen’?
Hey-yo! Up top!
/sorry about the rape culture — really
(Publisher’s note: “Really’s” IP was banned two days later.)
1. If his wheelchair still had a charge, Christopher Reeve would be rolling in his grave. — admin
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