Is Pink Mist a Euphemism for a Queef?
By Optimus Rhyme and Battgirl | Posted Under Eloquent Eloquence | Comments (59)
Optimus Rhyme: So, there’s really no better time than finals week to volunteer for EE. I’m all jacked up on caffeine and Adderall, but I really don’t want to do anything scholastic. What’s that? You need someone to sort through the past weeks comments on a Wednesday night? No problem!
However, this week EE was a two man job. Allow me to introduce my ladyfriend, battgirl. Say hello to the nice people, sweetie.
Battgirl: Hello, nice people. I just want you to know that I do not condone the abuse of prescription medication, even for cramming a semester of information in one night. That’s all him.
OR: Isn’t she great! Now. I’ve composed a little number in honor of this weeks winners:
They bring the bitchy and the scathing
and the words they don’t mince.
Lemme tell you all about my favorite
Elo-quents
BG: No lame rapping, dear. It’s bad enough that you wear the hat whilst posting.
OR: But it’s my commenting Kangol!
BG: And you’re not commenting right now, so give me the hat please.
OR: *Sigh* Here’s your lame, non-rhyming list of the fine folks who brought the funny this week.
10. Is Pink Mist a euphemism for a queef? —Pinky McLadybits
9. I’ll take you higher…IN BED! *Whips out a top hat and cane, does a little jig* —Jeremy Feist
8. Clearly this movie is a giant shit-turd, but is it weird to give them credit for using ‘sank’ and not ‘sunk’? Because I remember playing that game when I was ten, and yelling at people who said ‘he sunk my battleship!’ Because it’s a preterite, you retard, not a past participle.
In a related story, I had no friends in 5th grade. —Marra
7. This movie will, no doubt, be riddickulous. See what I did there?
I’ll get me coat. —Brenton
And from the Chronicles of Riddick 3 thread, a gem. The third sentence may be mis-spelled or it may not, it only made it better for me.
6. Maybe Dinklage is performing an experiment. By playing the same role in both films, he’s trying to gauge the differences between the directors’ styles.
No? He just wants money?
Dayummmm.
You better be awesome as Tyrion, Dinklage, or I’m dipping you in hot resin and putting you in my garden. WITH A POINTY HAT. —Snath
5. If this comes to Boston, I’m going to get a job at the theater it’s playing at as a ticket-taker, and cockpunch anyone who buys a ticket.
Then I will set the universe on fire. —TK
TK, I can tag in when you need to take breaks. Don’t want to risk a repetitive motion injury or anything. Cockpuncher’s elbow. —twig
Cockpuncher’s elbow is a motherfucker. —John Denver’s Wingman
4. Figgy My neighbor’s mom is from Costa Rica. She visits here once or twice a year. The neighbor has a cute Labradoodle named Buster.
Her mom is forever going out to the front yard to call the dog in (he’s fine off-leash). But “Buster” with her accent comes out sounding like:
“BASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD!”
So at Christmastime, I have a very old Costa Rican lady yelling BASTARD up and down the street every day and I have the family across the street who never fail to put out the plastic lit up Nativity scene in which Joseph ALWAYS falls face first into Mary’s lap, which makes her serene face and baby Jesus looking on all extremely funny.
I love my neighborhood. — Snuggiepants the Deathbringer
3. I want to be in an all-male Courtney Love tribute band and call it “Manhole.”
Bah-dum.
*smiles for applause/hears crickets*
Well, let’s see YOU fuckers do any better. — ,
2. Also, do we have to use “ball” in every headline? I got enough problems. — ,
We Gave Tater a pair of comments. To compensate
1. Ok first off, I don’t smell. The essence of pansies and red wine gently wafts from my hair as it is blown back by the wind machine I keep at my desk. Second…I fucking LOVED Dreamphone. I wish I created Dreamphone. I would have made it say “Troy bought you roses! Isn’t he sweet? He’s one charm bracelet away from sticking it in your ass! — Julie
***********
Ah Julie, such charm, such grace, such wit. Yours is a wit deserving of a PRIZE. That’s right, we’re changing it up. Batty, the clever girl (said like the raptor guy in Jurassic Park) is quite a knitter and she has found it within her abilities to make a cute lil’ Godtopus. That’s right! A woolen image of our tentacled deity.
<>BG: Just let Optimus know where I need to send the little guy! Thanks to Figgy for letting us take over for the week. It’s been real.
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Comments
Posted by: Commander Strikeher at December 10, 2009 12:04 PM
That Godtopus is CROCHETED, not knitted! Crochet uses a hook, knitting uses needles!
And I am the biggest fucking dork ever...