For those of you who missed last week’s post, a refresher: Eloquent Eloquence is our weekly top ten comments intermingled with the lackadaisical pimping of sites, DVDs, books, etc. that we get from PR firms who don’t know any better.
First of all, as promised last week, here is the link to Hey! Nielsen’s trivia game:
It’s the Ultimate Trivia Challenge! (exclamation intended for ironic effect) and they even used one of the questions I submitted (it’s the Ferris Bueller question). Also, the goddamn challenge is ridiculously hard — I scored 20 out of 35 and I’m a goddamn movie critic, for God’s sake. How the fuck am I supposed to know the name of the group in the “Saved by the Bell” episode where Jesse becomes addicted to caffeine pills? [It’s the Hot Sundaes. … It was on every day of my childhood. I make no apologies. —DC]
Moving on: The FLUX guy is still bugging me.
Interesting note: The PR flak responsible for last week’s Walk the Line DVD is not an empty suit. In fact, not only did he not mind that I poked fun at him, but in furtherance of transparency, he sent a link to his blog, which I’m happy to provide for being a good sport.
What else? What else? Some guy on behalf of Adam Carolla’s self-distributed film, The Hammer wants me to give a shout-out. The reviews he blurbs seem enthusiastic, though I have to say that I loathe Adam Carolla — the humorless feminist in me recognizes him as a sexist blight on humanity, and I don’t give a shit how self-deprecatingly charming he is. Self-distribution suggests that Carolla will actually benefit financially if we see it, and I don’t want any part of that. But, I do appreciate his real-life entrepreneurial, bootstrap spirit, so here’s a link to the official website: The Hammer, something perhaps that needs to be taken to Mr. Carolla’s head.
And, finally, the good folks over at Deep Focus are responsible for this week’s giveaway, which they offered up even though I told them that our critic (Phillip) couldn’t even make it all the way through the film (which is why we have no review). So, to our top commenter, how about two copies of the straight-to-DVD remake of Day of the Dead, starring Mena Suvari, Nick Cannon and Ving Rhames. And, as part of our dutiful efforts on behalf of the studio, here’s the trailer:
I dunno, Phillip: Mena Suvari is a fucking soldier? That’s gotta be good for at least a few good guffaws.
And now, on to the top ten comments of the week:
10. (Early on in the April Fool’s Post) This comment thread is going to turn into something sadder than Eddie Murphy’s latest offerings, isn’t it? — LuluJ
9. (I don’t know if this was one of our plants or not, but I thought it was really well said.) Reader for 2 years, posting for the first time. The synthesis of intelligent and vitriolic criticism tends to elevate many of the underestimated works in cinema/art into something to be appreciated, albeit not in the sense of mainstream appreciation, which sets it apart.
I guess people come here expecting more of the vitriol than intelligence.
Some can say, “This movie is just about so and so” and leave it at that, while what this critic is doing is synthesizing the high- and low-brow tendencies of the film and humanity in general. She brings 500 years of historical perspective to a modern film and is chewed out (worse) for it?
Sometimes it’s better to pick up the dictionary and/or doing some research instead of not getting the point and letting frustration get the better of understanding. We’d all be the better for it.
This site seems geared toward esoteric tastes, and there is nothing wrong with that. Great review. — Recondite
8. You know how there’s that spot between “tipsy” and “shit-faced” where suddenly your motor skills are almost supernaturally enhanced, your vision clears, and you feel that you can do anything, but won’t try because you still have enough sense to know that even if you could catch it with you bare hand, trying to find someone who would toss you a penny off the top of the empire state building at this hour is just ludicrous? You know, the drunken Zen?
Well maybe the writer’s strike was TV’s drunken moment of Zen. But it just had to have that 7th shot of patron, and now it’s turned an unnatural shade of red, and it’s slapping its cheeks screaming “DUDE, I CAN’T FEEL MY FUCKING FACE! FEEL IT! CAN YOU FEEL MY FUCKING FACE?!” — J_Capri
7. Holy Xenu on a shingle, is this some kind of April Fools joke? Cause if this is what happens when Trading Places gets reviewed, I’m glad Ranylt passed on Doctor Detroit. — ohgrl
6. I’m currently working on Movie Movie, which is a brilliant parody of the making of the Movie genres. Actually, I just videotaped a bunch of monkeys masturbating on to a laptop, but I made sure to put some of them in funny hats and wigs, because you know, character development is important.
Then I videotaped myself with a cameraphone while I was making Movie Movie, mostly just drinking alot and swearing. It’s a mockdocumentary called Movie Movie Movie.
I posted everything on YouTube, got a deal from Fox for a three episode sitcom, told them it was a movie, they optioned it for a cartoon they stole from the Cartoon Network based on an Anime that was based on a French movie that was based on a story Jesus told to Buddha back when they were working at Falafel Hut.
I’ve already been signed on to do Movie Movie Movie Movie and 80’s Toys Movie Movie Movie Movie Duck Movie.
I dedicated the script to memory of my father, Major Major Major Major. — insertclevername
5. Gyud Gawd Ah hate them crappy Hawlywood approximations of Suhthern ack-scents. — Jerce
4. But…what’s the obsession with bears? Do I give the impression I go bear-wrestling every night? I mean…I only do that on weekends, people…when I check my traps baited with copies of Transformers. So far, I’ve only caught three geeks and a mutant flesh-eating sheep, but I have high hopes for this weekend… — Shadows of Dakaron
3.Leatherheads better be charming and full of footbally goodness, or I will kill John Krasisnki myself … and then molest his pretty pretty corpse. — Julie
2. FUCK ALL OF YOU JOSH[UA JACKSON] HATERS! WHAT THE FUCK DID HE FUCKING DO TO YOU WHO PATHETIC WASTE OF SPACE! YOU REALLY HURT ME YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! I HATE ALL OF YOU! — Playa
1. Whoa…calm down there, Mighty Duckling. Listen, much as we may joke about the all-powerful sorcery of our collective evil and whatnot, no one in this joint actually possesses the metaphysical ability to kill Joshua Jackson with our mind. So take a deep breath and a puff off your Xanax inhaler, and it’ll be okay. Now pick up your Hello Kitty pen and write him an emotionally moving letter on your teddy bear stationary, telling him all about how you saved his life with the strength of your eternal devotion. He’ll be thrilled, I’m sure. — Sarina
Sarina, for your impassioned defense of our inability to actually kill Joshua Jackson with our minds (a shame, really), you get two copies of Day of the Dead, which you may need to fling at unsuspecting victims on the Pajiba Murder Tour.
And speaking of which, check out the latest illustrious illustration from Skittimus Maximus, who gets a copy of Day of the Dead as well, just for this magnificent rendering:
Why yes Nicole I do. Models get free shirts ya know.
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 9:07 AM
I recognize the girl on the back of the Murdertank! It's Alex!
Great Job Sarina & Skitt!
Posted by: Kolby at April 4, 2008 9:10 AM
Can I be the gunner????????? I'm the gunner!!!!!
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 9:13 AM
I love that murder tank! That is just so great. It would be very interesting to explain a t-shirt like that to people who don't know about Pajiba. I think it would go something like "Don't worry about it. It is for your own good."
Posted by: Erin at April 4, 2008 9:13 AM
This whole concept is ossum.
I love the quotes (I liked mine the best) and I love the graphic.
Minor quibble about the MT: Where is Gwynnie's head mounted in a DHL package? You couldn't draw it in, really tiny?
Posted by: Jerce at April 4, 2008 9:14 AM
Nothing better than a murdertank with a well-stocked liquor cabinet. Bravo, Skits. Bra-fucking-vo.
Also, I love that the Josh Jackson fangirl took second. Y'all really need to step up your games. I'm just sayin'.
Y'all just can't see me very well because I'm too busy inside the tank...making a martini so dirty I think it slapped your mother.
Posted by: feramones at April 4, 2008 9:32 AM
Between the Godtopus, Ninja Baby, and now the wholly awesome Murdertank design(Great work, Skittimus!) it is time for Pajiba to open a store to allow me to spend cash moneys on Pajiba product.
So say we all.
Posted by: Rob at April 4, 2008 9:40 AM
We are Rob. We are. Me, Skitt, and Replica have been working with Dustin. Very short time now. now much longer at all.
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 9:44 AM
not* much longer
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 9:45 AM
I would just like to inform Pajiba that I will be unable to concentrate on my work today until a review of The Ruins is put up.
Hurry it up, please.
Posted by: Jerce at April 4, 2008 9:52 AM
Why yes Nicole I do. Models get free shirts ya know.
I'm in!
Y'all just can't see me very well because I'm too busy inside the tank...making a martini so dirty I think it slapped your mother.
That's just an awesome line, feramones.
Even though you can't see it, I'm inside the MT hanging out next to the whiskey fountain.
Posted by: Nicole at April 4, 2008 9:53 AM
Skitt, PissBoy, et al....please get me something ready to wear on TV, please????? Must show the world the power of Pajiba.
Posted by: dammitjanet at April 4, 2008 9:54 AM
PissBoy: International shipping? INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING?!?!?!
Hmmm. I do not see a bottle of Hendricks in there.
I'm not sure I can overcome my pacifist tendencies and ride the tank with the correct attitude, if there is no Hendricks for me.
Just sayin'...
Posted by: Tarn at April 4, 2008 10:04 AM
Seriously - I think I would happily equip myself with a flashlight, don a wetsuit, and go snatch-snorkelling into the nightmarish landscapes of Paris Hilton's va-jay-jay to own a camouflage MurderTank T-shirt.
Posted by: Dill The Devil at April 4, 2008 10:08 AM
Oh believe me Tarn, there's Hendricks. In fact there are at least eight varieties of gin on the murder tank. Why? Because I ain't going anywhere without them.
Alex...yes. There will be international shipping. Patience me'love. Patience.
Nicole... word!
FYI to all Not all of the graphics will be immediately available. Dustin, Replica, and I put our heads together and there will be an initial release of 2 or 3 graphic t's and then slowly others will be added. Won't reveal which ones until the link is ready to go.
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 10:16 AM
Oh Dill The Devil, you must really, really, really want a Pajiba MurdurTank T-shirt!
Posted by: rlr260 at April 4, 2008 10:19 AM
dill - i see where you're coming from, but that is just plain wrong. seriously, i got the chills when i read "snatch-snorkelling into the nightmarish landscapes of Paris Hilton's va-jay-jay"
but i'm kinda in love with the MT tee.
Posted by: nona at April 4, 2008 10:20 AM
Skit: Unfortunately, "Movie Movie" has already been made. It starred Barry Bostwick and George C. Scott in an old fashioned double feature complete with fake trailers. Scott got 2 incredible death scenes. 3 if you count the one in one of the fake trailers. It was sort of like "Grindhouse" for the depression era crowd (who didn't go to movies in the 1970s, and so this one didn't do well at the box office).
P.S. I tried to give you this info when you first posted, but Pajiba wouldn't let me update that day. What's with that, anyway?
Posted by: BWeaves at April 4, 2008 10:22 AM
Marvellous news, PissBoy! That makes my cold and shrivelled little heart sing with joy for I must possess every design possible.
Yeah, because my friends aren't close enough to disowning me enough already I have to buy internet based shirts to tip them over the edge... hmmm oh well I'm of the not caring variety right now.
I am living my day in 2-5 minutes chunks regulated by an angrily beepy timer for lab work purposes today, but I am happy to de-lurk and use this particular 2 minute chunk to profess my absolute love of the murder tank graphic.
Posted by: vinadora at April 4, 2008 10:28 AM
"Movie Movie" has already been made. It starred Barry Bostwick and George C. Scott in an old fashioned double feature complete with fake trailers.
BWeaves, you can't throw out a piece of info like that without providing a link!
Posted by: Jerce at April 4, 2008 10:33 AM
Congrats, Sarina!
Julie, it believe it was the second "pretty" in your comment that turned it from funny "ha-ha" to funny "she'd-totally-molester-his-corpse".
Glad to see everybody digs the drawring... My cheeks are as red as a steel-toed boot divot in Matty McConodouche's toned buttock... (note to self: brush up on writing skills so as not to make myself vomit)
How soon are you gonna be on the tube dammitjanet?
Posted by: Skittimus Aweshuckstimus at April 4, 2008 10:36 AM
I can not WAIT for these t-shirts. Skitt, that illustration is ridiculously awesome.
Congrats Sarina, your calling him/her a "mighty duckling" cracked my shit up.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 10:37 AM
Skitt, I would. :p
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 10:40 AM
New handle? JulieCorpsefucker?
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 10:43 AM
Holy hell, that drawing is awesome. HOWEVER. What the fuck is that thing in the back of the murder bus/tank? It looks like a giant pocket knife. Which is badass, don't get me wrong. Or...is it a plow? That would make sense. I mean, after we destroy the earth, we may need a plow so we can grow ourselves some nice organic produce on the barren wasteland that was North America.
Also, I like our hats. Very chic, which is important when embarking on a murder spree.
Posted by: tt_marie at April 4, 2008 10:46 AM
Oooh, I like it PissBoy. Or perhaps Rigor Mortis YAY!
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 10:46 AM
Skittimus Maximus , those spiked headlights are genuis. Hurry up that store! I wants me a t-shirt (camouflage girly-t size small, k thx bai)
Posted by: phquaryn at April 4, 2008 10:48 AM
I meant "genius", Godoctopus-damnit. What do you expect from someone who ends a post in lolcat?
Posted by: phquaryn at April 4, 2008 10:49 AM
The graphic is awesome.
Must. have. now.
There will be alcohol of all varieties on the tank people.
However, you will have to fight me for the Jamesons.
Posted by: Melody at April 4, 2008 10:50 AM
Look at Skitt blush!
Oh, hey, Gooooleee, I just want to thank you for the fact that I FELL DOWN IN THE SHOWER yesterday. I swear you're contagious and somehow at fault.
I never thought that I would be internet buddies with a necrophiliac, but then, there you are.
Posted by: Nicole at April 4, 2008 10:52 AM
Top 5 Oddities While Julie Molests a Dead John Krasisnki
5. The dead stare in his eyes isn't because he's not into it. It because he's....ya know. Dead.
4. She was lucky and rigormortis set in at just the right time.
3. When people die a waking death, their jaws open and their mouths go slack...so an open-mouth kiss is a definite possibility.
2. If you want to get kinky and establish bedroom role-reversal, you can begin punching holes in random spots on his body and begin violating them. They will be squishy...like cold apple pie.
1. Someone will finally be able to tell us what a cold, dead finger feels like.
...yup. The 'topical self-editing' part of my brain is shut off today. Rad.
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 10:52 AM
Still waiting for the date/time/place....they are gonna fly me somewhere and put me up in a fancy hotel...can't beat that! For a little ol' girl from nowhere, that ain't bad at all. But, my new friend from the Early Show wants me first, so I think it would be AWESOME to go on with Harry Smith (and hopefully some starletard) wearing some Pajibagear!!!
Posted by: dammitjanet at April 4, 2008 10:54 AM
OH...and dammitjanet...when I followed your link, I got some article about Hillary and Barack.
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 10:55 AM
Let's see -- three T-shirts for myself, three T-shirts to give away as gifts (to people who won't know what the hell they mean), five WBNS shirts in varying child's sizes so my nephew can wear them for at least the next few years -- plus shipping -- carry the two -- ouch. Better check those couch cushions for extra money.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at April 4, 2008 10:55 AM
There will be alcohol of all varieties on the tank people.
However, you will have to fight me for the Jamesons.
Melody, I'll keep my hands of the Jamesons as long as nobody messes with my Johnnie Walker Black.
Quick question - who is driving the MT? And isn't the giant knife thingamawhatsitguy a decapitator?
Posted by: Nicole at April 4, 2008 10:56 AM
Three-nineteen...have no worries. The T's will all be under $10 each and there will be purchase-based promos and discounts. (ie. shipping, 2 fer $X, etc.) I dun wanna gouge my pals. I just wanna get these things out there.
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 10:58 AM
decapitator...my thought exactly. Especially with the basket there to catch the loppings.
And Nicole...me and you's gonna have to tangle for some Black Label.
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 11:01 AM
The, erm, item on the rear of the MurderTank is a very versatile device. It appears to be a payloader (you know, a thingy that digs holes? Like on a steamshovel?) but could clearly also be used as a tow hook, an anchor, a battering ram, a puncher-of-big-holes-in-car-roofs, and a decapitator.
In fact, its uses are nearly endless.
Posted by: Jerce at April 4, 2008 11:02 AM
AH HA HA HA!!! PissBoy, just when I think I've seen the limits of your demented imagination you manage to surprise the pants off of me.
1. Someone will finally be able to tell us what a cold, dead finger feels like.
To quote Arrested Development: "Douche chill!"
Nicole, I almost fell down in the shower today!! It is catching. You're welcome.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 11:05 AM
Comments like that one PissBoy will earn you the title of "a gentleman and a scholar" especially considering the exchange rate. Comments like the "Top 5 Oddities While Julie Molests a Dead John Krasisnki" (incidentally is it really narcissistic that whenever I see the word "Odd" mentioned I think it's an allusion to me?) earn you the title of "person on Pajiba I most want to take out for a beer".
Although I am barely able to think of anything but the return of BG today, that graphic is way cool SM.
Posted by: Cindy at April 4, 2008 11:06 AM
Really TK? I'm not sure I'd willingly put my personal safety in your hands. I mean, the deck is not exactly stacked in your favour.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at April 4, 2008 11:07 AM
Maybe the Murdertank is piloted by a blow up doll, like in Airplane! I rather prefer that idea anyway, since we'll all be too wasted to steer a vehicle of that magnitude.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 11:08 AM
I hate you all. Yet again, I'm actually put on a list for a totally random comment I make that has nothing to do with nothing, and only serves to make me look even crazier than I really think I am.
I'm starting to think that every post I make derails comment threads. Or at least has nothing to do with nothing....which tangents off of tangents...and...what was I saying again?
Oh, and Skittimus, stop trying to prove you're better than me with cool, awesome graphics-doodlings. Your intent to make me jealous is driving me over the edge. Expect a harsh letter from me in the mail next week.
And by harsh, I mean a trained grizzly. To steal the MurderTank™. With his ninja skillz...
On an unrelated note...congrats sarina...I guess. Does second place get anything? Because I will totally collect for Playa's corpse...er...I mean her mom's corpse...damnit...look, she pissed me off, okay? It's not my fault she panicked and kept screaming and screaming and wouldn't stop being stupid... However, Julie...on the necrophiliac side of things....can I invite a friend?
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 4, 2008 11:12 AM
I want to be the bartender! Can I be the bartender? Also: this bar is top shelf right? I mean, we're not going to be riding the Korski horse while decimating the most self indulgent continent in existence, right? Because that would be wrong. And possibly dangerous to other Pajibans.
Posted by: Captain Steve at April 4, 2008 11:12 AM
I don't think I've ever coveted a graphic like this ever before in my life. Good job Skitt!
"They will be squishy...like cold apple pie."
This sentence made me both laugh out loud and gag at the same time. Well done PissBoy. Well done.
Julie how in fact does one go about surprising the pants of oneself or others? I need to know these things!!
Posted by: Wormer at April 4, 2008 11:13 AM
Pants off*** not of
Posted by: Wormer at April 4, 2008 11:15 AM
Well, Alex, aka Ms. Fucking Smartmouth, it is, after all, a murdertank. I'd think you'd want someone who will simply rampage through our streets and towns, destroying anything and everything. I'm just switching from turkeys to humans. No biggie.
The white cockpit area looks like a smiling face to me. I thought the MT was autonomous at first glance. Perhaps the Godtopus can drive.
Posted by: Rob at April 4, 2008 11:15 AM
It appears I've already assumed those duties (see previous post), but you can be barback/reloader. I need more ice and a belt for the chainsaw, now!
Posted by: feramones at April 4, 2008 11:17 AM
p.s. in response to Captain Steve's request to be bartender. Man, this comment thread is moving fast!
Posted by: feramones at April 4, 2008 11:18 AM
Nothing personal was meant TK, I assure you (and actually I applaud you for your thinning of the turkey population - those things are unnatural and evil), I am just the world's most nervous passenger. Ever. I can barely handle my own mother (the world's slowest, safest and most reliable driver) driving me anywhere.
It's no problem though - if you really want to drive the Murder Tank I'll just make sure I'm good and drunk before I get on board.
Speaking of: 40 minutes til drinking time! Lord, I love Fridays!
That was just cruel, Alex. I still have 6.5 hours to go.
Which makes me sad. And a sad TK is a murderous TK.
Posted by: TK at April 4, 2008 11:21 AM
"The, erm, item on the rear of the MurderTank is a very versatile device. It appears to be a payloader (you know, a thingy that digs holes? Like on a steamshovel?) but could clearly also be used as a tow hook, an anchor, a battering ram, a puncher-of-big-holes-in-car-roofs, and a decapitator."
You nailed it, Jerce. It's for knocking out pesky security gates, digging tunnels for covert operations, swimmin' holes for end-of-day relaxing, and the teeth on the thing rotate on an inner belt much like a chainsaw, for which the possibilities are endless...
The original thought was that the sumbitch was on autopilot, but should there be time today, I'll smack a soldier in the drivers seat & we'll call him TK.
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at April 4, 2008 11:22 AM
Clearly, the jackknife appendage on the back of the Murdertank is used to dig a trough for the victims' graves. Just drop and claw!
Pajiba Murdertank: leaving the world a tidier, more intelligent place.
Posted by: Wednesday at April 4, 2008 11:22 AM
And a sad TK is a murderous TK.
You must be sad 24/7
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 4, 2008 11:23 AM
Julie how in fact does one go about surprising the pants of oneself or others?
Years of practice, Wormer. Yeeeears of practice. Well, that, and none of my pants fit anymore and I'm too cheap to buy new pants OR a belt since skirt season is but a mere 10 degrees away. :)
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 11:23 AM
Sorry sweetie. The answer, I feel, is a hip flask
I found myself at a gig in a church last night, dying for a beer or a dram of the strong stuff and not a drop was to be found, that was when I resolved to treat myself to one. A hip flask that is. I'm going to get it engraved.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at April 4, 2008 11:23 AM
Pajiba Murdertank: leaving the world a tidier, more intelligent place.
Hee!
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 11:25 AM
You must be sad 24/7
Not really. It's worth pointing out that a happy TK is ALSO a murderous TK. As is a bored TK, excited TK, aroused TK, annoyed TK...
I'm murderous kind of a lot.
It's sort of the default setting. When sad I'm just murderouser is all.
TK, you remind me of one of my favorite Simpsons quotes: "I don't get mad, I get stabby."
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 11:35 AM
Sorry, Alex...I'd send you one of mine, but they're both being used (I do have two hips...)
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 4, 2008 11:36 AM
Sorry, but Godtopus drives the Murder Tank, TK. Whilst I will be co piloting and controlling the hollow tip firing Haggis Killers, you can man the rear plow....ok, that came out wrong. I mean you can take the hook in the behind...aww crap.
AtO, you will be in control of the Napalm Vagina-nator.
InsertCleverNameHere - You and the commentor of your choice will be in command of the Skank Cancer Needle Launcher from atop.
I say if TK is going to be the pilot in the picture, then he needs a Captain's hat. That would only be right. And i am strangely excited at TK doing the driving. I viddy him seeing it as a video game. The more you hit/rampage/violate/kill/squish, the more points you score. It would sound like a pinball parlor in his head.
Did you guys hear the Joshua Jackson died?
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 11:39 AM
Damnit Shadows, you sure do know how to get a girl's hopes up.
No matter, I'm debating between camping equipment style for capacity and durability or something antiquey and silver for sheer awesome value.
Posted by: Alex the Is It Home Time Yet? at April 4, 2008 11:44 AM
no no...just a Captain's hat. Like an airline pilot. But he should be 'looking at the camera' giving a thumbs-up. Almost like a porn star dude would do mid-thrust.
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 11:44 AM
Holy cheesey poofs AtO, that book flask is amazing. It would be even awesome-er (yes) if the cover had a bunny with a rose in its teeth riding a unicorn through a field of puppies.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 11:46 AM
Something like...a Viking helmet??!!
Julie, I would totally rock that shit.
The more you hit/rampage/violate/kill/squish, the more points you score. It would sound like a pinball parlor in his head.Pissboy, it's like you can see into my brain. That's really weird.
My good friend gave me a lime green snakeskin hip flask for my birthday a few years ago. I truly believe a flask is something every self respecting person should have.
And by self respecting I mean happy and/or murderous pajibaholic.
Posted by: Wormer at April 4, 2008 11:49 AM
Holy yesJulie! I'm actually tempted to buy a flask and make my own hollow book now based on that image. Failing that I may just spend the thirteen quid.
Posted by: Alex the Seven Minutes Til Beer at April 4, 2008 11:49 AM
Field of puppies?
Why, when I thought of that image, did I immediately imagine a bunch of pug puppies impales on sticks and stuck in the ground?
Is that wrong? No man, that's not wrong. Oh good! I was worried that i was going crazy. Next thing you know I'd be talkig to myself. yeah that would suck wouldn't it? People would think you were loony! So what are you doing for lunch today? Oh, nothing much really. I brought it with me. Really? What'd ya bring? Peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat, some goldfish crackers in a baggie, sliced carrots and celery and 2 capri-sun juice bags. Wow man...that sounds like a 6 year old's lunch. yeah I know. i was feeling nostalgic. Whoa!!! Did you just see all those dead puppies on sticks?!!
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 11:50 AM
On second thoughs I think I prefer PissBoy's version of the field of puppies. Maybe I'll make my book cover based on that...
Posted by: Alex the Screw it I'm Going Home at April 4, 2008 11:56 AM
And also (before I run away to the pub): I also had a six year old's lunch today: Strawberry milkshake and a cheese and ham sandwich with square crisps!
Mmmmm square crisps....
Posted by: Alex the Fuck it It's Five at April 4, 2008 11:58 AM
AtO (aka AtSiIGH): Don't forget a funnel of some sort or you may end up spilling precious precious alcohol.
Posted by: Wormer at April 4, 2008 12:00 PM
!!! My image of a field of puppies was that of happy barking baby Shih Tzus emerging all fluffy-like from gigantic sunflowers. But the dark thundercloud of PissBoy had to go and rain blood and tears and pointy sticks allll over it.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 12:02 PM
If it makes you feel better, Julie...I totally saw that unicorn impaling a few puppies on its way through the field...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 4, 2008 12:06 PM
That should make you smile like it did me. :) It made me think of The Avenging Narwhal.
Google it. Greatest.Toy.Ever.
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 12:16 PM
I bought my brother-in-law a flask disguised as binoculars (labeled "perfect for sporting events" as well!), where each lens unscrewed...you know, for the discerning smuggler who may want a mixed drink.
I'm ignoring any and all talk of harm coming to puppies. I'll rip out somebody's ribcage and wear it as a hat, but fluffy harborers of puppy breath crack open my coal-black heart.
Oh sweet homicidal unicorns, that is the best toy EVER. My birthday is next weekend, I may just have to ask for one from my mother. She wouldn't bat an eye, she knows me all too well.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 12:22 PM
PissBoy, I am ordering that as we speak. No lie. It's too awesome to deny.
Posted by: TK at April 4, 2008 12:28 PM
I'd think you'd want someone who will simply rampage through our streets and towns, destroying anything and everything.
Not everything. We need to pillage the remaining liquor stores. Can't have a sober crew on the murdertank. We'll also need to be raiding avocado fields for guacamole.
Skitt that design is awesome. I want 12.
Posted by: HedonismBot at April 4, 2008 12:30 PM
What does the Avenging Unicorn have against the corpse of Marcel Marceau?
Posted by: Kolby at April 4, 2008 12:32 PM
skits - (late, as usual, but it must be said:)
Reeeeeeeeeespeeeeeeeect!
Posted by: replica at April 4, 2008 12:33 PM
HAhaha...PissBoy, that's hilarious. Reminds me of Robot Chicken apocalypse ponies...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 4, 2008 12:34 PM
Alex - yay for Hendricks! We can use that thing on the back to slice the cucumber. Also to slice the cucumbers of anybody we don't like very much round these here parts. The Murder Tank is so multi-use it could have been made by Kenco. Well done, Skittimus!
Ooh, binocular flask! I saw one on Friday Night Lights and thought it was a missed opportunity for product placement, since I wanted one immediately but no brand name was visible.
I have a hip flask for attending conventions. Standard geek-ware, we all have 'em - who wants to pay hotel bar prices? Design not important. It just needs to be small enough to hide, so the bar staff don't see me making all my drinks Irish.
Posted by: Tarn at April 4, 2008 12:34 PM
Holy Shit! I only just now realized that the MurderTank is equipped with a flamethrower! Yes!
Posted by: Kolby at April 4, 2008 12:36 PM
Skitt, that Murder Tank fucking rocks!
Vasquez: Let's rooooooock [Pumps exploding cartridges into nuclear reactor coolers.]
Does Amazon have binoculars flasks?
I'd like to put in for bartender on the Murder Tank.
Motto de Tourisme Francais: "Everything's stinkier in France!"
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at April 4, 2008 12:36 PM
I really love this place. That's all I can say right now, because I'm laughing too hard at the comments and it makes my boo-boos hurt more (death glare shot at Gewleigh).
However, dead puppies are not funny. Not funny at all. Kittens, on the other hand...
Posted by: Nicole at April 4, 2008 12:37 PM
Dead baby animals are never funny, y'all. And that's why I know Alex and I can never be lovers. Sigh.
Posted by: Kolby at April 4, 2008 12:40 PM
I love the apocalypse ponies! Robot Chicken makes me so happy.
Tarn, I will gleefully bring my own bottle of Hendricks and cucumber slices if I can watch you castrate someone with that giant ho/battering ram/decapitatormibob. That would take some serious skills on a VERY large Operation scale.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 12:40 PM
Well, would you lookit that. I done won sumfin. Although...I can't remember what it was. A DVD of...something? I'm too lazy to scroll all the way back up. Something of the Dead? Does this mean there are zombies? Do they eat people? Because that is my favourite kind of film, so if that is the case, then AWESOME. I don't care how bad it is, as long as there is chompy chompy of the flesh going on. If the cover indicates heinous levels of bad, then I shall simply marinate appropriately beforehand, and voilà! Cinematic masterpiece.
Also, Skits, it's been said about a hundred times, but it bears repeating: that graphic is fantastic.
And PissBoy, I heard that Joshua Jackson died ... what a shame. Especially auto-erotic asphyxiation, with a My Li'l Pony 12" rubber dong in his boyish Pacey ass. WTF?
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at April 4, 2008 12:41 PM
Heehee, excellent MurderTank, Skittimus!
Jay and Manny, I'll have to steal and modify my aunt's license plate for the Tank:
"Godtopus is my Co-Pilot"
Posted by: MO at April 4, 2008 12:43 PM
Does Amazon have binoculars flasks?
Posted by: socalledonlycousins
And now we have an idea for a new Pajiba bumper sticker.
Posted by: Kolby at April 4, 2008 12:44 PM
I know! I can't believe it either socalled. What was REALLY shocking was all the naked pictures of Al Roker in awkward positions. And old, balding, man with that much extra skin should never do jumping jacks for still photography.
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 12:44 PM
Damn it Nicole, it's not like I knocked you down while showering together! I just pointed my Laserbeam of Klutziness in your direction and hoped for the best, muah ha ha.
Kolby, let the record show that I did not kill any puppies. That was allll PissBoy.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 12:45 PM
"Godtopus is my Co-Pilot"
This make me want to make a shirt with a pic of Dom Deluise wearing his 'Captin Chaos' disguise with THAT as the line underneath. I think the awesomeness of that image would burn my skin so i would never be able to wear it...just stare at it hanging in my room like i was Claire Daines and it was jordan Catalano.
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 12:47 PM
Pestilence Ponies...bloody phenomenal. They ought to sweep in as the vanguard of the MT. Death Pony has to come in afterward, though; bring up the rear, if you will. Wouldn't want them getting all the fun.
Posted by: HedonismBot at April 4, 2008 12:47 PM
Julie and Nicole shower together? Conserving water, ladies, or just trying to kill all the men here?
Posted by: Kolby at April 4, 2008 12:48 PM
What's the theme song for the MurderTank? Someone needs to put lyrics to "Godtopus is my Co-Pilot"
Posted by: HedonismBot at April 4, 2008 12:50 PM
Godtopus is my Co-Pilot
Delicious.
Kolby: ha! Both?
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 12:50 PM
In my mind, the Murdertank would sound much like the Mr. Dingaling truck rolling down the street. The chimes would cover up the sounds of the tank's gears, AND it would attract unsuspecting victims who only wanted an ince cream cone on a hot, otherwise uneventful summer's day. Yeah.
Posted by: Kolby at April 4, 2008 12:53 PM
Oh ponies, even the Death Pony was cute.
I'm glad to see the bar wasn't sacrificed in the Murder Tank. I love the symbolism - nuclear rims!
Posted by: ScandinavianBlonde at April 4, 2008 12:53 PM
ICE cream cone! I don't know what an ince cream cone is.
Posted by: Kolby at April 4, 2008 12:53 PM
Oh Skits, my love for you knows no bounds.
Can I get a free shirt for naming the MurderTank? (and also since it used to be my nickname for my old Volvo(the CAR, shut up, PissBoy)) Though Skit's version looks waaaay mo' better than my old wagon did...
Posted by: isabelle at April 4, 2008 12:55 PM
Psht...I've known about Julie and Nicole for awhile now. She keeps trying to horn in on my territory. I wouldn't be so bitter if they didn't let me in...
PissBoy and socalled...are you trying to bring down the wrath of outraged Pacey fans on us again? Seriously...I can't keep hiding the bodies...people are starting to suspect.
I want Apocalypse Ponies. I think that should be the theme song. Nobody'd expect it.
My Little Ponies...Apocalypse Ponies...
Godtopus is my CoPilot is my official motto.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 4, 2008 1:00 PM
Julie,
you're on! I will have to practise a bit first, though. It will take the skills of a surgeon, and at the moment I have the skills of a sturgeon.
socalled,
is it wrong that I find this......
"Especially auto-erotic asphyxiation, with a My Li'l Pony 12" rubber dong in his boyish Pacey ass."
....rather hot? Or is that par for the course around here?
Posted by: Tarn at April 4, 2008 1:03 PM
Shadows, Joshua Jackson is dead and he's currently in heaven smoking a joint with Jim Henson and Dr. Suess.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 1:05 PM
AHA! Thank you a billion times over, isabelle - for the life of me I couldn't remember where the hell the thread was that started Pajiba's very own Rolling Thunder...
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at April 4, 2008 1:07 PM
Jesus, did this blow up.
Mr. Dakaron: if tangential madness becomes a crime they'll execute me first, which will give you fair warning. If I'm still alive you're okay.
Julie: to hearken back to my own tangenting yesterday, have *you* seen "Kissed"?
Those controlling means of production: I don't want a camouflage print, but your basic olive drab would be lovely.
Tarn, it all depends on which part is turning you on. Auto-erotic asphyxiation with My Li'l Pony sex gear -- especially the testicle clamps -- is perfectly normal, not to mention indicative of taste and style.
Rubber dildos and Pacey's tight, boyish behind? That's just sick and wrong.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at April 4, 2008 1:09 PM
I know he's dead, you know he's dead, but they're all convinced they can ressurerect him...
And I didn't spell that wrong.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 4, 2008 1:11 PM
Testicle clamps? Why?
Posted by: Kolby at April 4, 2008 1:11 PM
Jay, I have no idea, what is "Kissed"? I am completely mental today...everyday. :)
Kolby I work with a forensics magazine, and you will not BELIEVE the shit that people do to themselves to achieve the ultimate orgasm. Which, if they're featured, said shit ultimately killed them.
I've seen homemade metal dildos that plug into the wall (hell-O heart attack), a man with a noose around his neck dressed in his wife's teddy while clutching a baby doll, knives in orifices that are only meant for NICE things...gah.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 1:17 PM
Ah, Kolby, there aren't enough hours in the day to explain the fine, fine line between pleasure and pain, nor the shivering frisson of seeing your lover in a My Li'l Pony mouth-zipper leather mask.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at April 4, 2008 1:17 PM
Julie, it believe it was the second "pretty" in your comment that turned it from funny "ha-ha" to funny "she'd-totally-molester-his-corpse".
Posted by: Skittimus Aweshuckstimus at April 4, 2008 10:36 AM
Skitt, I would. :p
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 10:37 AM
And I would take the sloppy seconds. He really
is that cute.
Back after two weeks due to a tumble off a bicycle
and compound fracture
Posted by: Drake at April 4, 2008 1:20 PM
Eeeee. Drake, I have had an unnatural fear of compound fractures ever since I was a kid, due to watching the scene in White Water Summer where Kevin Bacon breaks his leg. I hope you're healing well! Because I am as sweet as honey, you can have first dibs on the Krasinski corpse.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 1:24 PM
Julie! I remember that scene! The agony!
I once saw a kid miss a hurdle in a track meet, fly over the top if it and come down hard in an unnatural position. He broke his leg badly. And he was wearing shorts. Enough said.
Posted by: Kolby at April 4, 2008 1:39 PM
Whhhhhhyy is no one else noticing the pure gold PissBoy is shoveling out??
Dom Deluise in his Captain Chaos best tagged "Godtopus is my Co-Pilot" and a refrence to My so called life in one comment?
p.s. Julie FINALLY!! I watched that movie ages ago and couldn't, for the life of me, remember what it was called. Thanks!!
Posted by: Wormer at April 4, 2008 1:41 PM
Julie: "Kissed" is the movie where Molly Parker plays a necrophiliac.
Wormer: Trust me, I'm noticing. I'd almost be scared to wear that shirt too.
Extra Special Bonus Points if Jack Elam was on the back of it.
Wow Julie, thanks. I promise to leave him in good
shape for you.
Fortunately the bone wasn't visible from my
viewpoint lying in the street waiting for the
ambulance. Left forearm, both bones. And typing
with one hand is a real pain!
The thought of a turn with JK's corpse and BSG
tonight has allowed me to forego painkillers
today.
Posted by: Drake at April 4, 2008 1:53 PM
Always a bridesmaid. My defense of Joshua Jackson earned me title credit on this post yet not the win, but it was my impersonation of The Internet Police that earned me litelysalted kudos. And that my friends is worth its weight in Pajibucks.
Also, the Avenging Unicorn adorns Lady Clevername's desk at the director's guild, to protect her against wannabe directors trying to join.
Posted by: insertclevernamehere at April 4, 2008 1:53 PM
Wow, I won't even have to steal Aunt Leona's license plate. When she finds out how much you all liked it, I'm sure she'd give it to me freely!
We won't tell her about the modification, though...(heehee)
Posted by: MO at April 4, 2008 1:53 PM
Sarina, I beg you not to accept your gift. This is clearly a ploy by the Department of Homeland Security/CIA/NSA/FBI who actually are fronting this site. The real Dustin et al. were kidnapped and imprisoned in a detainment facility located in the jungles of Guangdong, China shortly after THIS happened: http://www.pajiba.com/the-department-of-homeland-security-has-shut-us-down.htm The DVDs are imprinted with subliminal messages that will lead you to inexplicably create death tanks that will be used in China before the Olympics to rid its population of Tibetan protesters. This is part of a secret program with China to export lead-laden toothpaste and other products which will be distributed to poor, minority Americans through the WIC Program.. I see they have already gotten to Skit.
Posted by: JP at April 4, 2008 1:57 PM
Ahh, thanks Jay. Nope, I've never seen it, but I'll consider renting it since a) I'm a fan of everyone who ever breathed on the set of Deadwood, and b) I'll need corpse molesting tips.
Drake, that sounds dreadful. Absolutely dreadful. I really do hope you feel better. :)
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 1:59 PM
if tangential madness becomes a crime they'll execute me first, which will give you fair warning. If I'm still alive you're okay.
Jay does this mean that if they do start rounding us up as MTO's(maniacal tangential offenders) and you have to go on the lam we should have the press refer to you as "The Canary?" Or would you prefer a different pseudonym?
Posted by: HedonismBot at April 4, 2008 2:01 PM
Man, this thread took a turn for the worst, as usual. From t-shirts to impaled puppies to apocalypse ponies. What's next? Zombie Tapdancing Jesus riding a unicorn of death into a pet store?
Back to the shirts: I would buy on in a pico-second, but I'm not sure I want to spend all day explaining to everybody what a 'Pajiba' is. Ah, who am I kidding. I'm gonna buy one anyway.
Posted by: the_wakeful at April 4, 2008 2:01 PM
I'm with playa. What the hell did Joshua Jackson ever do to you? He's adorable and generally unassuming and doesn't appear to have any false pretentions regarding the state of his career.
If you must hate, go do it on Heigl again.
Posted by: becca at April 4, 2008 2:02 PM
Julie - Ho-lee-shee-it! I was trying to explain that movie to somebody last week, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember the name... I fucking loved that movie! Kevin Bacon is at his absolute assholiest in that flick, and... and... GAH, It was such a good (not necessarily cinematic-wise), awesome flick that's truly underrated. It's never shown on television, and I can pretty much guarandamntee you that if I should show up at my local VideoTan (why is that, by the way?), they'd have no idea what the hell I was talking about. Then they'd rattle off my past overdue charges, at which point I'd do a quick throat-punch, throw a ninja-smoky-poof and cease to be visible... 'Cause that's precisely how I roll...
I (and possibly Wormer) wanna nominate "White Water Summer" as a potential "Underappreciated Gem". It ain't Masterpiece Theatre, but man, that flick brings back memories...
sidenote to Sarina & vinniedelphino: how 'bout the weather, huh? About goddamed time!
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at April 4, 2008 2:02 PM
Ooh, Jay, I've never seen Kissed, but it sounds intriguing. Was it good? (More importantly, were any of the corpses Krasinski-pretty?) I like Molly Parker. She must be in at least half of the Canadian movies made in the past 15 years or so...good thing she's awesome.
Posted by: MO at April 4, 2008 2:05 PM
Ha! I know Skitt, Kevin Bacon was on a local morning radio show this week promoting his new album (I love typing that), and my thoughts immediately flashed to him in that movie, in all his thunder-douchey glory.
I loved that movie, but I can not watch that scene. Bone through skin? Makes me lightheaded.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 2:10 PM
Julie, I SOOOOO want to come work with you. What fun you must have! Just the like the old episode of Scrubs I saw last night with the ass box!
I am also a big fan of EVERYONE who ever set foot on Deadwood, so I will be Netflixing "Kissed" myself.
And this???
utter farkin' genius.....
Posted by: dammitjanet at April 4, 2008 2:10 PM
whoops....deleted the quote.....
What's next? Zombie Tapdancing Jesus riding a unicorn of death into a pet store?
i love you people
Posted by: dammitjanet at April 4, 2008 2:12 PM
Oh, it's fun dammitjanet. My days are all about people eaten by bears, autoerotic accidents, and cat-rape.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 2:13 PM
AWESOME!!!! I have an unhealthy obsession with sick things like that. Maybe that's what I can be when I grow up!
Whhhhhhyy is no one else noticing the pure gold PissBoy is shoveling out??
Thanks for the love Wormer. Oddly enough...this is how I think and speak every day.
...I work with a forensics magazine, and you will not BELIEVE the shit that people do to themselves to achieve the ultimate orgasm...
So if I can find a way to make a shorn Rabbit hold a camera....?
One question though...covering your genitals in honey, dipping them in acorn crumblins', and then letting a bunch of chipmunks do their thang...could that kill me?
(Sadly, the dwarf flinging banana mash at me while calling a pitch count will have to be left out of the equation. Camera equipment doesn't function properly when filled with nanners.)
Posted by: PissBoy at April 4, 2008 2:28 PM
Good job Skittimus
Sarina I suggest you get some more copies and we can use them for skeet shooting/target practice as we ride the top of the Murder Tank, war movie style. I invison the ride to be something like riding along with Sgt Oddball in Kelly's Heroes
Posted by: Brian at April 4, 2008 2:28 PM
One question though...covering your genitals in honey, dipping them in acorn crumblins', and then letting a bunch of chipmunks do their thang...could that kill me?
Nope, you're safe, but the image of you participating in such an act has me giggling so hard it might kill ME.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 2:32 PM
Nothing doing, JP. I'm keeping my craptacular suckstravaganza DVD, and if anybody wants to take it from me they will have to first survive my hyper-caffeinated wrath, and then find and extract said DVD from my corpse. Hint: It will be hidden somewhere in the cold apple pie.
I remember the Homeland Security shenanigans. I have dealt with all manner of branches of the government, including Homeland Security, for work at one point or another. I assure you, sir, Homeland Security would be incapable of maintaining a front such as this site, because humour makes Homeland Security's butt itch.
In any case, I was promised a shitty-ass zombie movie, and IT WILL BE GIVEN TO ME, or I will extract sufficient compensation from someone's flesh. I'll do it, too. Ask Julie. If you're really lucky, though, I'll use a Naughty Fox ass embosser.
Sidenote to Skits: Seriously. It is gorgeous outside, and I'm so pissed that I have a dislocated knee and two broken toes. It's really gonna hinder my ability to play in the sunshine.
While not as horrific as "bone through skin", I had an almost as disturbing "bone almost through skin" experience when I was younger...my sister dropped a 4x4 wooden crossbeam on my ankle.
I told my mom later that the trip to Dublin was awful quick (usually two hours from my home in South GA) and she replied, "Honey, it was because you were unconscious for most of it." She also tells me that the scream I let out when they laid my leg on the metal tray for x-rays is still the stuff her nightmares are made of.
Then it didn't set right, so they had to put me under and break it all over again. Huzzah, for incompetent rural doctors!
Posted by: feramones at April 4, 2008 2:51 PM
Oh god feramones, that makes my skin crawl. Broken bones squick me out to no end.
I've luckily only broken my knee. When I was 15 I was swimming in my friend's aboveground pool, and her German Shephard jumped into it to eat me because we were splashing and wrestling and he was protective. So I grabbed onto the side to jump out, and my knee dislocated. My sweet yet misguided friend said "Oh! It's just out of the socket, I can put it back in," grabbed my leg, pushed it towards my hip, and proceeded to chip off a chunk (Sloth love) of my kneecap. I still remember the sound, and it STILL makes me shudder.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 3:02 PM
How did this spin off into a tangent about our broken bones? Shouldn't we be wistfully imagining all the bones crunching 'neath the MT?
Posted by: feramones at April 4, 2008 3:13 PM
So true. It should be the brittle bones of the cast of The Hills that we're discussing.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 3:16 PM
"...and proceeded to chip off a chunk (Sloth love)
Oh Julie you never cease to make me laugh. You do realize you told me the secret to scaring the pants off you? Nothing will stop me now (except for the fact I don't know where you are and you may or may not have already take the said pants off due to summer time weather)
And yes, Skitt, I will gladly nominate "White Water Summer" for Hangover Theatre with you. That shit was gold!! Who leaves a bunch of pre-teen stay-at-home geeks to fend for themselves in the wilderness? Kevin Bacon, that's who.
Posted by: Wormer at April 4, 2008 3:19 PM
[grumble, grumble, damn Friday laziness]
may or may not have already taken the said pants off
Posted by: Wormer at April 4, 2008 3:22 PM
And yes by "Hangover Theatre" I meant "Underappreciated Gem"
...I think I'm done for the day ...my flask, I mean boss, is calling me
Posted by: Wormer at April 4, 2008 3:27 PM
What the hell did Joshua Jackson ever do to you? He's adorable and generally unassuming and doesn't appear to have any false pretentions regarding the state of his career.
I agree. He is adorable. Is he single now? I saw his profile on tooyoungtobeahasbeen.com.
Posted by: Jerce at April 4, 2008 3:28 PM
Heh, Wormer, it always comes back to Goonies.
Jerce, ha!
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 3:30 PM
Jerce, I just laughed so hard I think I herniated something.
but they're all convinced they can ressurerect him...
And I didn't spell that wrong.
How is it that I just caught the "erect" in that? Usually that word emits some sort of high pitched squealing for us dirty-minded.
Posted by: Julie at April 4, 2008 3:50 PM
Thanks, Jerce, thanks a lot. Because of you, I have to go get some paper towels to clean off my desk and monitor from the explosion of sody pop that came out of my mouth...and my coworkers are looking at me like I'm crazy. Crazier. Extremely odder than the norm. Anyways, your fault.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 4, 2008 3:56 PM
Damnit, I shouldn't go all workaholic and skim posts. I missed most of those comments the first time around.
The Murdertank needs a really good garrotte, I think. Not a namby-pamby hand held version, one of these: http://www.corkscrew-balloon.com/misc/torture/27.html. It has to have the screw that pierces the condemned's neck, too.
Posted by: Kris at April 5, 2008 12:17 AM
insertclevername should have totally won that, that was fucking magical.
Posted by: racheee at April 5, 2008 2:45 AM
Just out of curiousity, has no one noticed the ministry reference? Seriously, folks... MINISTRY!!
the double-exclamation points mean I'm for real-reals
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at April 5, 2008 10:11 AM
Skit, buddy, don't worry! I just thought it was understood.
Perhaps the best use since Pete did cannonballs all day long to "Stigmata".
RE: MURDER TANK. Is it just me, or does the driver's cabin look like a person smiling, with the rear view mirror acting as the eyes and the wheel acting as the mouth? Was that intentional?
Posted by: JP at April 5, 2008 3:01 PM
How did this spin off into a tangent about our broken bones?
Shouldn't we be wistfully imagining all the bones crunching 'neath the MT? Interesting interracial love?? Just click http://www.blackwhitemingle.com where many are chatting this news online . now
Posted by: blackorwhite at April 8, 2008 10:39 PM
They're coming outta the walls. They're coming outta the goddamn walls, we're fucked!
Nice Sarina! Congrats!
And Skitt...that's effing AWESOME!
I'll give you a call this weekend and we can hash out everything.