Eloquent Eloquence / The Top 10 Comments of the Week
The PR folks really have blacklisted us. Damnit. Looks like we’re ponying up for DVDs here on out, which means shitty bargain-priced DVDs. Today: Our winner receives Jennifer Garner’s Catch and Release because I like to give away DVDs thematically.
Get it on:
10. “And Cindy, you are not a troll. I don’t necessarily agree with what you’re saying, but you are not a troll.
Pookie is a troll. A beloved troll, but a troll nonetheless.
To spot trolls, keep your eyes peeled for excessive use of the words “boobies”, “whore”, or “Lohan”. — tt_marie
9. “Didn’t the pope apologize for all the kids who were ‘reared in the church’?” — annikitty
8. “Having indulged in the sport of kings for several years, I know first hand how it can become very addictive. Watching those majestic beast in all their glory reminds me that animals indeed belong free. I yearn to go back to the track and partake in all its trappings. But for a slight misunderstanding between myself and a bookie, it is best I stay away. — Pookie
7. “When I was a freshman in college I had to give a group presentation, and during her segment one girl in my group kept pronouncing “organism” as “orgasm.” The topic? Was euthanasia. That was a great day.” — Julie
“I prounounced crayon as “crown.” My father finally decided that he didn’t want his daughter to sound like she had a speech impediment, so whenever I mispronounced the word, he would take said colorful writing tools away from me for a day and in the pocess of taking them away would say “This is red CRAY-ON, this is an orange CRAY-on, this is a blue CRAY-ON,” etc etc.
In other news, I now hate art.” — Rachel
“I went to a librarian’s convention that included some very small-town librarians. I saw two of them studying the menu and overheard this conversation:
Librarian #1: “Kwitch?? What the hell is a kwitch?”
Librarian #2: “It’s a French dish, sort of a cheese pie. And, uh, you probably don’t want to say ‘kwitch,’ it makes you sound like a hick. I believe the French say ‘kee-shay.’” — Mr. Atoz
“When my former landlord was 15, he spent the summer with a family in Orgeon who let him drive for the first time around their farm. They had a tractor and a Volvo. At his wedding, his mother read out a letter she had kept from him where he wrote “Mrs. Stephens is really great. She lets me fool around in her vulva whenever I want.” — PaddyDog
6. “Apropos of nothing: The top two ads below the banner this morning, one on each side, are for the Butt-Paddler 5000 and an interracial dating website. What the hell kind of careening tack has Pajiba taken when the top two ads are kink-related? (Not that interracial dating = kink, but when one fixates on interracial dating, to the exclusion of other potentially awesome partners, that’s kinky.)
And then, down the page, another ad for sustainable bamboo. “Sustainable bamboo,” of course, is a euphemism for what’s in my pants when a black girl paddles my ass.” — socalledonlycousins
5. “In 2004, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of … Anyone? Anyone?… scientific progress, passed the… Anyone? Anyone? Scopes Monkey trial? Anti-evolution laws? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered?… lowered intelligence, in an effort to collect more power for the church and state. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It worked, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Intellectual Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Intelligent Design Movement. Anyone know what this says? It says that at this point in intellectual progress, you will get exactly the same amount of regression as at this point. This is very controversial. Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something-d-o-o science. “Voodoo” science.” —Celery
4. “Honky tonk B’Donky Donk” There’s a song with that name? Wow.— Jay
“Kay-rist Jay, how in the fuck do you not know about this song?! HOW?! It is, in my opinion, single-handedly the absolute fucking worst song and video, hands down. Ever. Seriously. I’m not a fan of country music in general (although that comment is half bullshit, as I adore Allison Krauss, Lyle Lovett, Cash, and several others), but this song, regardless of genre, is the absolute fucking worst of any song I have ever heard. Period. That goes for “Muskrat Love”, “Afternoon Delight”, anything that Mariah Carey, Madummy, Assley Simpson, “Nu-Metal”, or… fucking… fucking anything. Ever. The fact that it takes itself even remotely seriously is a kick to the skull for anybody that likes music in any capacity. I would rather have Godtopus hisherself wrangle out the Ninth Tentacle of Profound Pain and give me a lashing proper than to have this song heard by anyone under the age of fetus, as it would give them the half-assed notion that this fucking abomination of a song is even in the same vicinity of music. Jesus-jumpin-jackrabbit-christ, I’m angry now… GOD I HATE THAT SONG! I hate it more than papercuts, more than room-temp gravy, more than the last two seasons of the X-Files, more than Celebutards, rope-burns, the last squirt of pee coming out of ones weiner after adequate shaking, walking into a bar thirty seconds after last call and being denied a goddamed drink and the end of “I Am Legend” (which I just watched, half-hour after reading the book, and seriously, sadly disappointed). Fuck the guy that wrote it, the horse he rode in on, and the poor motherfucker that directed the video. I hope… is it Trace Adkins? Is that who it is? I hope Mr. Atkins develops the worst strain of pube crabs Godtopus has to offer, because that fucking song is an insult to anyone that has more than half a brain-cell bouncing around in their noggin. FUCKING HATE IT!!
Jesus Christ, now I gotta call 911, ‘cause my left arm went numb typing this… — Skittimus Maxiumus, of course.
“You know what Skitty-poo? When you’re pushin’ a kid out of your privates, you can listen to ANY DAMN SONG YOU WANT, OK? Me? I like me a little stupid no thinkin’ Trace Atkins, and the beat happened to be in tune with the pushin’. DON’T YOU JUDGE ME AND MY BIRTHIN’ STORY DAMN IT I will bust a cap in YOUR B’DonkaDonk if you knowwhatimsayin. Harumph. — lilliana28
3. The hell!
The hell you say! Teen Witch was not a musical! I would remember that.
*pause*
God damn it.
*looks for phone book*
*finds phone book under cat*
*gets movie rental number*
*movie rental place doesn’t have Teen Witch*
*rental guy sounds stoned*
*find number for next place*
*next place has it*
*DOOR SLAMS*
*sound of car tires screeching*
*pause*
*sound of car returning*
*DOOR SLAMS*
*TV turns on*
*DVD ads*
*fast forward*
*play*
*pause*
Well. I’ll be damned. — TWoP Fan
2. So there’s going to be a show about Young Zombies for the entire purpose of featuring product placement. What appropriate products will be featured?
“Preee-senting the revolutionary new Vileda Zomb-Away multi-mop - ideal as both an all-purpose cleaning solution for all your zombie apocalypse related hygiene problems, as well as a last line of defence against the ravenous hordes of the undead!
See how the head of the mop can be swapped for multiple cleaning accessories - use the standard mop to clear up the pools of congealed blood left by your recently wounded and now desperately fleeing family members, then switch to the sturdy broom option to scrape the flecks of bone fragments and clumps of viscera from your shag-pile carpet
Is your housework being interrupted by a ghoulish walking corpse? No problem! Simply seperate the top and bottom halves of the multi-mop handle to reveal the razor-sharp piano wire connecting the two - ideal for swift removal of zombie heads! Simply loop the wire around your slavering antagonist’s neck and yank hard for swift, efficient decapitations!” — Dill the Devil
1. I really feel a responsibility to support Jennifer Garner’s career for no other reason than she was a big influence in realizing I was a lesbian.
Melody, I agree with your sentiments 100%. Although, if you sit down with the [“Alias”] DVDs and watch seasons 3-5 continuously it helps with the…well…it just makes a little more sense than the complete and utter brain fuck it was when they would go 5 weeks without a new episode. I also notice with JJ shows, the first 2 seasons tend to kick ass (Alias, Lost, Felicity), and then he sees something shiny and gets distracted and all of a sudden Spy Barbie has been missing for two years? And has a sister? And then is pregnant? But then Spy Ken get shots 40 times in the chest and dies? But then he actually isn’t dead?
Best. Show. Ever. — Masey
Masey: Jennifer Garner’s Catch and Release is all yours.
Nothing But Trailers | | Deep Blue Sea
Comments
Wow.....Skit, are you ok?
Celery....you are brizzilliant.
Dill....I bow to your zombulance.
wish I hadn't been so damned busy all week....*sniff* I have missed you all so much
Posted by: dammitjanet at April 24, 2008 12:50 PM
As shitty as it is, that number from Teen Witch is still better than that other putrid pile of excrement that this Trace Atkins person seems to be trying to pass off as a song.
Also, the dude is seriously roided up.
Posted by: Kolby at April 24, 2008 12:52 PM
now.. in my defense... that *particular* version of the song was not playing during my daughter's birth... the slightly less offensive purely country version was.
Posted by: lilianna28 at April 24, 2008 12:59 PM
No excuses Lilianna! :)
Congratulations Masey! And word to Celery's comment, that was inspired.
Posted by: Julie at April 24, 2008 1:07 PM
Socalled. Where and when? I'll bring the paddles.
Posted by: jM at April 24, 2008 1:07 PM
Celery
that
was
fuckin
BRILLIANT!
and congrads Masey!
Posted by: Bethy at April 24, 2008 1:08 PM
The second video disturbed me in ways I should not be disturbed at work.
I refuse to watch the first one. One bleach-laced ear-scrubbing is enough for the month. And I hate you for suggesting otherwise.
Congrats, Masey! Enjoy your...snicker...DVD!
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 24, 2008 1:11 PM
PS: dammitjanet, you looked cute in your Busted Tour t-shirt :)
Posted by: Julie at April 24, 2008 1:12 PM
Kiss my ass, open tags!
Posted by: Julie at April 24, 2008 1:12 PM
ooo! dammitjanet I want a link with a picture!!
Posted by: Bethy at April 24, 2008 1:13 PM
Bethy, you can see her in her blog on the right :)
Posted by: Julie at April 24, 2008 1:15 PM
After being laid low with a sinus infection for the last week, I finally come out from warm and cozy hibernation blanketed under the fluffiest comforter in existence and Season 3 of The Wire, to return to work (aka internet access) only to get assaulted with rap/country and 80's teen musicals?
I'm out, coach. We'll try this again in a few days.
Posted by: feramones at April 24, 2008 1:15 PM
awww damnitjanet, that's adorable!
and never ever trust CBS to keep their word...
and kudos to PissBoy for the shirt, it looks great!
Posted by: Bethy at April 24, 2008 1:20 PM
Woo hoo!! I can finally take Catch and Release off my Amazon wish list (I only wish I were kidding). Thank you for supporting my Jennifer Garner addiction, although after seeing it in the theaters (don't judge me), this will be joining Electra and 13 going on 30 as DVDs I watch with a little red wine, some candles, satin sheets, and the mute button on. Goodness I love me that fivehead.
Thanks again, it's truly an honor!
Posted by: Masey at April 24, 2008 1:21 PM
I demand a video of the pretty that lived on Alias.
NOW!!
I suggest this one. Pretty....
Posted by: Melody at April 24, 2008 1:25 PM
Sooo pretty.
Shadows, I can't believe you're still railing against green vegetable goodness in the other thread. They are tasty and delicious.
Posted by: Julie at April 24, 2008 1:28 PM
They are tasty and delicious
[shakes head sadly]
They've brainwashed you too. If I have to be the lone fighter against the injustice that is green foods...so be it. Jolly Green Giant, prepare to meet thy match.
Cool shirt, dammitjanet.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 24, 2008 1:39 PM
I just noticed this from Skitt's comment: Skittimus Maximus, of course.
Dustin-hee!
Posted by: Julie at April 24, 2008 1:53 PM
Wait...a less offensive version of "Honky Tonk Badadonkadonk"? That exists? That's even possible??? Isn't that like saying you saw a less offensive version of Napalm Vagina's poor excuse for a film?
Posted by: JTate at April 24, 2008 1:56 PM
There is, JTate...they're called end credits.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 24, 2008 1:58 PM
Celery: Is that a name? Do people know how to pronounce it? Do you have issues with how it's spelled and pronounced? I'll bet you'd love to find a thread where you can rant about the mis-use of your name. Do I say Sel-er-a? Anyway, congrats on the placing, I would have moved you a little further up, but well done.
Posted by: PaddyDog at April 24, 2008 2:00 PM
less offensive to the ears, JTate. Or not, if ya'll ain't into country.
Posted by: lilianna28 at April 24, 2008 2:30 PM
omg! that song is amazing. i can't believe i've never even heard of it--my receptionist heard me playing the video and had to tell me how much she loves that song--i consider myself the queen of cheese and the name alone requires an immediate download. it is fabulous! (although i am a bit afraid of that Trace man)
i am also going to have to buy Teen Witch. y'all made me buy Little Shop of Horrors (both the movie and the soundtrack) earlier this week, now this. my sister and i used to sing all the songs (with the choreography of course) every time we watched the movie. Top That was our favorite.
like i said, i'm the queen of cheese.
Posted by: pq at April 24, 2008 2:44 PM
Haven't waded through the original "Teen Witch" comments, but I have just one word to describe this TW clip: awesome.
Moments ago on Youtube, I enjoyed the "Most Popular Girl" number, too. Either drives home the subtle distinction: TW is not a true musical but uses these musical montages to gently move the plot along. And to iterate the all-important correlations of witches, big hair and popularity.
Posted by: digger at April 24, 2008 2:45 PM
Socalled. Where and when? I'll bring the paddles.
Oh, jM, you tease. Are you blackalicious? Will you paddle me vicious? Will you paddle my ass? Will you do it with class? Can you spank me in a car? Will you spank me at the bar? I will have spanks, I will give thanks; paddle me red, paddle me raw, throw me on the bed, and punch me in the jaw.
Now I've got sustainable bamboo and can't go to the kitchen to make my lunch.
Jennifer Garner's Catch and Release
You know, that is a surprisingly not-bad movie. Solid "C" with some amusing bits here and there.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at April 24, 2008 3:07 PM
Livin' in the Greater Nashville Area, you tend to hear "Honkytonk Badonkawhatever" in between the bands in about every club in town.
As a personal note, I adopted my dog from a local pet rescue/fostering group. When I picked him up from his foster parents, they live about 3 houses down from Trace Adkins. Needless to say, there was no "rescuing" of this dog. Poor thing is slumming it now! Although they say Trace is a nice guy, I agree it's a shitty song.
Posted by: wsapnin at April 24, 2008 3:11 PM
I missed something. Is it me who is not a troll, or is there another Cindy who is not a troll? If so, does that mean I am a troll?
Posted by: Cindy at April 24, 2008 3:12 PM
Don't worry socalled, just watch that pa donkey konk video again and it will take care of your little bamboo problem.
Posted by: Phat girl at April 24, 2008 3:26 PM
Paddydog - Intonation is so easily "misheard" on the internet. I wasn't exactly ranting about the misuse of my name; I realize that it's strange and expect odd looks after introductions. I've just found it to be a good (and depressing) litmus test for third grade spelling skills.
I'm glad that you all enjoyed the Bueller shout out.
Posted by: celery at April 24, 2008 3:28 PM
Every time I go away for a few days I miss all the funny stuff! Dammit! Why aren't you this funny when I'm around eh? Is there a conspiracy? Hmmm...cudos to all the top 10ers of the week. I have to second the love for the pretty on Alias, oh wow. Seriously...Michael Vartan can do whatever he wants to me anywhere anytime. Spread the word, with the whole 6 degrees thing, it might get to him.
I'd never heard of that Honky Tonk song, but now that I have, all I can say is that I live in the same city as the International Criminal Court and I expect to see that man there next month!
Posted by: Joker at April 24, 2008 3:31 PM
To repeat what's already been said, Celery, that was effin' awesome. I laughed so hard I got teary.
Now, what the hell was that song? There are a lot of people I'm going to have to share that with.
Posted by: Lannie at April 24, 2008 3:33 PM
Michael Vartan can do whatever he wants to me anywhere anytime.
Joker, he is totally mine. There will be no, absolutely NO, discussion on this matter.
There is no way you get Mr. Vartan.
He is mine.
So is David Anders.
Posted by: Melody at April 24, 2008 3:57 PM
Melody, them's fighting words. No really, I WILL fight you for them. I'm not even joking. And I want David Anders to talk dirty to me in his fake-but-oh-so-good British accent while Michael whispers sweet nothings in my ear in French. And that's just during dinner. Afterwards, I'll bust out my Scrabble board and it's ON! Tripple word score!
Hee...that made no sense. The thought of Anders and Vartan became too much for my poor brain and it melted.
Posted by: Joker at April 24, 2008 4:06 PM
Joker, it is not happening. They are totally mine. I will even learn hockey for Vartan. They will do my bidding all day long, looking shirtless and pretty while doing it. I can kick ass in heels.
I will use every single weapon in my arsenal for them. You are going down like Paris Hilton on a weekend.
It is on.
Posted by: Melody at April 24, 2008 4:38 PM
All talk. Why don't you bring your heels and I'll bring my boxing gloves, eh? How dare you even THINK of my men?! Do you even understand the depth of our relationship? We're planning on getting married as soon as three-way-marriages become legal. Probably somewhere in Canada. Homewrecker!
Posted by: Joker at April 24, 2008 6:39 PM
Celery:
I'm just having fun with you (I also have a name that is constantly mis-pronounced). It was that or take on all the people who don't understand that "preventative" is just as correct as "preventive". Yesterday's comment diversion exhausted me.
Posted by: PaddyDog at April 24, 2008 7:20 PM
"All talk. Why don't you bring your heels and I'll bring my boxing gloves, eh?"
FOOOXXXYYY BOOOXXXIIINNNGGG! Wait - lemme get my foldy-chair, my cooler of Red Stripe, binoculars, Kleenex, lotio... er, scratch those last two. Heh... uh, that's just jokes right there... I would never... fuck it: FOOOXXXYYY BOOOXXXIIINNNGGG!
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at April 24, 2008 7:26 PM
Hold on, Skitt...I gotta set up the remote assembly for the cameras...pass me a Red Stripe while we wait...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 24, 2008 7:31 PM
If you're gonna be doing that, SoD, I'ma gonna blow me up this here inflatable pool and see if I can't find me an industrial size drum of pudding...
FOOOXXXYYY BOOOXXXIIINNNGGG!
I'll get the friggin' stadium-seat attachment for the MT, make sure the ice machine's working, bacon-bar is stocked... God, it's like the Fourth of July and Vodkannukah and Tequilamas all wrapped in a friggin' greasy Chimichangitta of awesomeness... Oh my, I'm excited! Where's Minimus' big foam turkey claw?
FOOOXXXYYY BOOOXXXIIINNNGGG!
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at April 24, 2008 7:58 PM
Great stuff all around.
"Voodoo" science .... god, that tickles me.
Posted by: Mick J at April 24, 2008 8:13 PM
*slow clap*
Pajibans, you never fail to impress.
Posted by: Elfrieda at April 24, 2008 9:51 PM
We're planning on getting married as soon as three-way-marriages become legal. Probably somewhere in Canada. Homewrecker!
I am already attached to both of them. I have used the dark arts to brainwash them so that they will never see you. Plus you are going to have to cross my moat of sharks with laser beams attached to their heads.
Spydaddy has set up the best security system that he can and it is impervious to your wiles. Vartan is shirtless and speaking French here. Anders is looking pretty in the corner and speaking with the British accent.
Me and my harem are very happy. If necessary, we will bring the heels and take you out.
*Begins sharpening fingernails in anticipation*
Posted by: Melody at April 24, 2008 10:05 PM
I never much saw the Vartan appeal. David Anders, I am all over. And I DO mean in that way.
But I'd take Bradley Cooper over both of them. Multiple times.
Posted by: Gabs at April 24, 2008 10:42 PM
They are very popular at http://www.bigblackconnect.com/
Posted by: Janet at April 24, 2008 10:57 PM
i tried downloading teen witch, but the only thing isohunt came up with was "asshole fever 3"
what is wrong with this world?
Posted by: C.Tannenbaum at April 25, 2008 7:58 AM
I saw them on "S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m",too.Maybe they want make more new friends.You can contact them on that site.
Posted by: Lily at April 25, 2008 11:01 AM
Melody, I eat shark for breakfast, don't you think that'll scare me. I'll fly in Spybarbie AND Spymommie style and whoop Spydaddy's ass back to the stone age, rescue my beautiful husbands, feed you to your sharks then EAT the sharks AND your heels! How does that sound?
Skitt, why do you have to perv on everything? This is a serious fight. This is Love and War. This is...epic (in the Logan-Veronica sense).
Posted by: Joker at April 25, 2008 2:07 PM
whoop Spydaddy's ass
Will never happen. Spydaddy is indestructible. He cannot be destroyed.
I will have to bring Anna Espinoza to take out Spybarbie. Spymommy can be bought with weapons. Sloane has given me several items that will interest Spymommy.
You cannot stop me. My men are very happy here. It is a lovely place. I should also mention that there are piranhas in the moat and the sharks are capable of opening doors and handling various objects. They are a very tough bunch to take out. If you can get past them and the piranhas, then there are the snakes and various assorted jungle life, man-eating lions and such.
You will not take my men. You can have Bradley Cooper. Anders and Vartan are mine. All mine.
HAHA!!!
Posted by: Melody at April 25, 2008 2:45 PM
HAHA indeed! I laugh at your arsenal of zoo animals. I'll bring my cabal of supervillains led by Spymommy and we will make soup out of your little pets! I have Lord Voldemort, Dr. Evil, Dr. Strangelove, and other famously evil people working for me, including an assortment of henchmen. Oh and oompa loompas. And we'll come riding on dragons. DRAGONS! *rubs hands with glee*
Anders, Vartan, don't worry my preciouses I'm coming to saves you...mmm...preciousssses
Posted by: Joker at April 25, 2008 3:16 PM
I'm not even going to get involved in the war over the Sexy Men of Alias. I'll be busy singing show tunes with Victor Garber and making out with Lena Olin.
Posted by: Julie at April 25, 2008 3:27 PM
No really, Julie, do you find it that comfortable in that closet? It's alright, come out and play. Although I will also cut a bitch for Lena Olin. Holy Mother of Hotness! I've never seen anything as sexy as when she first meets her daugher and shoots her in cold blood.
Posted by: Joker at April 25, 2008 3:35 PM
Hahaha...you notice the spambot trying to get into it with them, though, Julie?
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 25, 2008 3:37 PM
Holy Mother of Hotness! I've never seen anything as sexy as when she first meets her daugher and shoots her in cold blood.
But spoons scare you.
Posted by: Jay at April 25, 2008 3:43 PM
Hee Shadows, the spambot is on my damn nerves this week. Cum. Dumpster.
Joker, I just love me some Olin. When I die I want Irina Derevko to be my mistress when I'm reigning over the underworld..
Posted by: Julie at April 25, 2008 3:50 PM
Jay, it's not the spoons that scare me. It's spoons in the hands of Sarina and Julie. THEY scare me. And I once had a quite sinful 3-some imaginary Scrabble sex thing going on with them at one point, so I should know. You should see the things they do with taco dip. *shudder*
Julie, due to my immense sluttiness, I'm tempted to start a Foxy Boxing match with you over Spymommie. I'll get back to you after I get my preciouses from that hussy Melody.
Posted by: Joker at April 25, 2008 4:07 PM
I'll just take your word for all that, but Lena herself terrifies me.
Posted by: Jay at April 25, 2008 4:12 PM
Julie, If we team up, we can destroy Joker and you get Olin and I will give you Spydaddy. The boys are still mine.
Joker, while Dr. Evil did go to 8 years of Evil Medical school. I have the Flinkman on my side building atrociously painful devices to destroy your army of weaklings. I have Sloane, who is pure evil; the powers of Rambaldi, Austin Powers, and my henchmen are members of The Sopranos and every other good crime family.
Also, villians such as yours do not scare me. Plus I have Mini-me distracted as I have shown him a shiny object. Dr. Evil is nothing without his little henchman.
We are very efficient around here.
Posted by: Melody at April 25, 2008 4:36 PM
Oh you're recruiting Julie now are you? HA! You silly girl. I'll wave some ham in her face and she'll run screaming. As for you my dear...I'll bring in my army of Smurfs and they'll smurf you and all your little smurfs until you're nothing but smurfs on the smurfs. If you smurf what I smurf.
Nasty little smurf...stealing my smurfs...Smurf!
Posted by: Joker at April 25, 2008 5:03 PM
Julie is strong enough to brave anything for Spymommy.
Smurfs?? Smurfs??? Now I have to involve Gargamel and Azreal to kill them.
I am also going to recruit the Thundercats and He-Man to take you out.
Posted by: Melody at April 25, 2008 5:15 PM
Goddammit, now I have the Smurf song stuck in my head.
Posted by: Sarina at April 25, 2008 5:17 PM
We're the smurfs, la la, we're the smurfs, la la
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 25, 2008 5:19 PM
I am going to kill all of you :p
Have a wonderful weekend! I'm off so I can don my bridesmaid dress tomorrow, give my toast, and drink...a lot.
Posted by: Julie at April 25, 2008 5:23 PM
How do you give your toast a lot? The drinking I can see...and knowing you, the donning (and removing) of the dress as well...
hehe...just kidding...or am I?
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 25, 2008 5:29 PM
Aw, you're going to be a bridesmaid? That's great. Oh, you know what to do if the wedding gets boring? Sleep with the groom...no, wait, in your case, the bride *snicker*.
Azrael?! Gargamel?! HA! Pappa Smurf will totally kick their asses. Seriously, He-man? If he's so freakingly manly, what's with the overcompansating name? Pansy. I've got Christian Bale who also happens to be one of my husbands and is also known as Batman and knows Gun-kata.
Posted by: Joker at April 25, 2008 5:31 PM
GAH! Joker, the bride is my SISTER. You dirty dirty ho-beast.
Posted by: Julie at April 25, 2008 7:56 PM
Wolverine. He is also a harem member. He was occupied earlier and could not attend to the issue.
Papa Smurf was never able to take them out before. What makes you think he can now? I see you have no answer for Thundercats.
I will also claim Iron Man as a harem member. Batman is too moody. I can charm him and distract him with my magical powers.
Besides, if you have Bale, what do you need with Vartan or Anders?
I don't want Bale. I like the men I have.
Posted by: Melody at April 25, 2008 10:57 PM
GAH! Joker, the bride is my SISTER. You dirty dirty ho-beast.
Posted by: Julie at April 25, 2008 7:56 PM
That just made my day. dirty ho-beast...hee. Sister eh? Ew...I can't do the sister-on-sister perv thing because I have 4 of them and it's just...ew. So are their husbands. Ok, just go for the best man then. Unless he's your brother. In which case I recommend the priest. Unless he's your dad. HOLY CRAP! You'll never get laid!
Posted by: Joker at April 26, 2008 4:09 AM
Melody, at this point I don't even remember who my original baddies were, so I suggest a good old fashioned mud wrestling contest. You, me, mud, a cage. I don't know how the cage fits in, but we'll figure it out. No thundercats, no transformers (who are by the way on my side), no smurfs, no A-team. Let's settle this like women. Dirty ho-beast women.
Posted by: Joker at April 26, 2008 4:12 AM
Alright. But who will be the judges?
The cage is necessary because all good fights happen in a cage.
Posted by: Melody at April 27, 2008 8:49 PM